self aware npd culture is thinking about how great you are, realising it’s all a disorder, and then causing yourself to crash. help me. i hate myself and want to cry. lmao.

I feel invisible and worthless unless I am regularly praised and validated by the people around me.

"NPD shouldn't even count as a disability" Because there's nothing disabling about feeling like I'll never be enough.

This place is like somebody’s memory of a town, and the memory is fading. It’s like there was never anything here but jungle.

Baby limbed

I hate that I can’t comprehend the world as real. I’m looking at the sun on the fences and the trees, I can hear birds and my family members inside the house. I can feel the wind but I still can’t wrap my mind around any of this being real.

I can’t process it as real. And I hate that my brain can’t grasp it, I always feel like I’m living in a memory instead of the present or that everything is a dream or a mirage. How can a world I’m living in somehow be untouchable and so far away at the same time. How can a body I live in feel so loose from my actual consciousness.

Mentally ill core is having to clean your glasses every other hour because tears keep getting on them ❤️🫶

i hate having npd i fucking hate it so much

to add onto this, i am always convinced people are in love with me too. even when on a surface level I acknowledge that is probably not the case, deep down i refuse to accept that. it hurts. and then when they do reject me i devalue them, but i don’t want to, so i fight it. really sucks. a mix of “they need to love me too, how dare they, i’m the best they’ll ever get” and “i’m such a horrible person, I shouldn’t be so forceful, i need to consider them too”

my little npd brain does NOT like getting rejected, holy shit.

my little npd brain does NOT like getting rejected, holy shit.

sorry for being absent. life has been spiralling out of control. i’ve been discovering things about my system and it’s been making me question everything.

I hate my stepmother i HATE my stepmother i HATE HER

Someone tell me it’s a bad idea to test my partner to check if they even text me if i don’t do it first