traumabuddies
shallow hearts for shallow minds
Lex | 24 | some flavour of queer | screamingcolours on AO3 | i give you organized chaos
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Another day, another thinking thoughts about Buck's stutter. How it gets worse when he's nervous. The first time Tommy clocks it is when they have their first 'not an arguement but a misunderstanding' and Buck tries to explain himself but he keeps tripping over his words, barely forms a full sentence without his voice shaking, his breath quickens up and Tommy's heart breaks all over because it's not even a big deal— the thing they're discussing, but seeing Evan struggle with his words, seeing him this nervous that he can barely talk, it's painful so he cups Evan's face, looks him in the eye, smiles and says "hey, breathe. it's okay."
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tommy likes the way buck's wrists feel in his hands.
he can feel buck's heartbeat pick up when he holds him down, up above his head, pressed deep into the too-soft mattress. buck writhes and struggles a little bit, tests the hold, but doesn't really try to get away. it makes tommy laugh into his mouth, kiss deeper and bite at buck's already swollen lips. buck sighs, rubs up against him like a desperately needy cat. tommy smiles against the slick softness of buck's mouth, moves his face lower, dives right into the hollow of buck's throat. the life here pulses even harder than his wrists. tommy puts all of his weight down on buck, let's his own hips hitch up a little bit, just so buck can feel how happy their proximity makes him.
buck's heartbeat stutters. tommy squeezes his wrists tighter, grinds his hips one, two times, bites at buck's jugular. kisses the pink skin.
he's going to devour this beautiful, sensitive man. and then he's going to marry him.
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really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.
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from barnestags on twitter. please go interact with their post
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whenever i've imagined the upcoming bucktommy kiss (which is a lot) where buck initiates the kiss at the wedding once tommy saves chim, i imagine buck runs up to tommy and immediately kisses him in front of everyone. which is great and all, but now i think it'd be great if it starts with a simple hug first. like there's a slowmo scene of tommy getting off the plane, looking around for someone he knows, and then buck yells his name and sprints over, we hear tommy let out a soft "evan" before he's stumbling at the force of buck's body colliding with his as he hugs him so tightly. and as buck holds him, there's a few reaction shots. bobby has a slightly raised eyebrow, wondering when they got so close, athena looks a lil confused but happy nonetheless, hen and karen share a look, maybe we see buck's parents share one too (but less knowing/sweet and more worried), and eddie smiles a lil. let's out a sigh of relief because tommy is his friend too and he's glad he's safe. and THEN buck kisses tommy. and oh my god we get to see everyone's face switch immediately. the shock and the confusion and the pride. oh it'd just be so beautiful.
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STOP!!! being in other countries. I wanna! Hang out >:(
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"they're the wrong kids! i want my kids!"
#fuck me season 1 bobby makes me fucking sob my heart out#that scene with chim is so. oof. ouch. all of it#lex says things
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Wolf and Moon are my little t4t ocs
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#Buck is really fighting for every kid he will ever see because it's everything he wanted as a kid but didn't get from his parents
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So i literally haven't written fic in like 15 years, so im not sure what happened here. Sorry if it's horrible but i have to get it out my head, so to tumblr.com it goes. (No beta, written on my phone at work so it may be a little rough)
Chimney/Eddie - kind of platonic, kind of not? Set 5B, post madney return to LA/break up, pre-jonah.
"You miss kissing?"
Chimney abandons the baseball game TV, his head swinging over to stare at Eddie. "I'm sorry?"
Eddie keeps his gaze forward, but it's obvious the game isn't his focus as he picks at the label on his beer bottle. "Kissing," he says again with a shrug. "I know the issues Shannon and I had are completely different than you and Maddie. But I remember when she first left . . . Sex complicates things, but kissing was an easy way to feel close to someone."
Chimney thinks of rolling over in the early morning hours, his body reaching out to place a gentle kiss and curl around someone who wasn't there. "Can't say I've thought abut it that much . . . But, yeah, I do. Any reason you're sharing that particular thought with me?"
Eddie shrugs. "I don't know. Therapy was a bitch today. Frank's was poking at the my time after I was discharged. Got me thinking." There's a silence - though not an uncomfortable one - as Eddie gathers his thoughts. "I don't want to be in a relationship right now. I'm not in any place to be in one. But I miss being close to someone like that."
Chimney gazes at his friend, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Me, too. How do you feel about some platonic making out?"
Eddie finally looks at him, an eyebrow raised in challenge. It's not full force Diaz-sass, but he's looking more like himself than when Chimney first saw him after getting back to LA.
"I don't know, man. Think you can manage not to fall in love with me?"
"You wish Diaz," he says with a grin and leans in to meet Eddie over the empty pizza box.
It all feels very high school - not terribly romantic, but also fun and a little messy. When Chimney leaves later that night with kiss swollen lips and slight stubble burn he can't help but feel bit lighter. He's also looking forward to the game next week.
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BI BUCK CONFIRMED FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Buck’s eyes jolted open and his heart began to race as something alerted his body and jolted him out from his slumber.
He was momentarily disoriented given that this was the first time he was sleeping in Tommy’s bed and he didn’t recognize the feel of the pillows, comforter, or the sight of the dresser across from him.
After a moment of grasping where he was and what was going on, he recognized the distinct sound of Tommy laughing his ass off behind him in the middle of the night.
“Do you mind telling me what you find so funny at 2 in the morning?” Buck groggily asked as he rotated over to face his hysterical boyfriend.
“Wh…what I’m laughing at?” Tommy asked through the laughter. “Are you saying you don’t know?”
“Given that I was deep in a very heavy REM Cycle, no. Absolutely not,” Buck replied in an annoyed tone. “Our first sleepover is not seeming very romantic right now.”
Tommy let out a few more chuckles and then began to calm his breaths. “Really? I was just thinking the opposite,” Tommy teased playfully. “Your snoring is adorable. Louder than my chopper and my bike combined, but adorable.”
Buck groaned and buried his face in the pillow. “I thought Chris and all of my girlfriends were being over-dramatic.”
“I’m sorry,” Tommy interrupted through a giggle. “Christopher and multiple exes of yours experienced this, and you still had doubt?”
“Chris commented on it when I was babysitting him, and kids are dramatic; and my girlfriends…have also had a history of being dramatic,” Buck explained.
“Uh-oh. I’m dating a ‘all my exes were crazy guy’? That’s a red flag,” Tommy teased.
“No, they’re not,” Buck defended remorsefully. “I just hoped it wouldn’t happen here.”
Tommy chuckled at his boyfriend and Buck felt a mildly judgemental gaze his way. “You thought it’d just be gone by tonight?”
“Kinda?” Buck said sheepishly.
There was a lull in the convo, a moment of silence before Tommy wrapped his arms above and below Buck. “Come here.”
Buck let out a minor yelp as he felt himself be pulled closer to his boyfriend. He felt the warmth of Tommy’s bare muscular chest and arms envelop him. “I think your snoring is adorable, Evan, and I will happily suffer through so many sleepless nights as long as it means you get to fall asleep in my arms and I get to wake up next to you in the morning.”
“You say that now-”
“I do say that now. And I’ll say it again each night until my body won’t let me fall asleep without the sound of you,” Tommy insisted with a confident assurance.
Bucks heart raced and his body instinctively shuddered, and his instinct to roll away was coursing through his whole body.
“Evan? Evan, what’s wrong?” Tommy asked with concern.
“It’s nothing,” Buck lied as he rolled away from Tommy.
“It’s not nothing,” Tommy countered as he allowed his boyfriend some space. “Did I say something wrong, Evan? I’d really like to know if I did.”
Buck winced his eyes and took a deep breath. He was thankful that they were laying in the dark and - *click* oh great, there was the nightstand light on Tommy’s side.
“Evan, will you please look at me?” Tommy tenderly inquired.
Buck really didn’t want to. He wanted to hide himself under the comforters in embarrassment. He didn’t want to be vulnerable right now, but pushing Tommy away wasn’t going to help the situation. Tommy deserved better.
He begrudgingly rolled over to face Tommy and Buck’s heart was struck with guilt as he saw the pain and concern painted across Tommy’s face.
“Evan, baby, can you please tell me what’s wrong?” There was that sweet, genuine sincerity that terrified the hell out of him.
“It’s just…you make all these super sweet promises that sound like you’re gunna be around forever; and we don’t know that,” Buck explained.
“So am I coming on too strong? Do you want me to stop? I don’t mean to rush things or put pressure on you-,” Tommy nervously began to explain.
“No, it’s not too strong. And no, i don’t want you to stop. I like it a lot. Too much, actually, and that’s the problem. I’m scared at how much I like it and I’m terrified about getting too used to it in case this all goes south. You sound like you’re promising forever but you can’t.”
There was another pause as Tommy began to process everything Buck said. “Can I hold your hand?” Tommy softly asked. Buck gently nodded in response.
Tommy moved his free arm to Buck’s, and entwined their hands together, locking fingers. “Evan,” Tommy began, holding his gaze. “You’re right. I cant promise forever. I don’t think our very first sleepover warrants any ring-talk.”
Buck let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, please do not. That’s a red flag.”
“Fair,” Tommy said playfully. “But here’s what I do know. I’m 39, almost 40. I have no intention of plying the field and I’m tired of meaningless flings. I get the feeling you are too based on the handful of threats I’ve received about treating you right; which I absolutely plan on doing.”
Buck chuckled at the thought of everyone giving Tommy the ‘If you hurt him speech.’ “Who all gave you the speech?”
“Maddie. Eddie. Bobby, who found it pertinent to remind me that Athena is a police sergeant,” Tommy explained.
“Oh my god,” Buck said. “I’m surprised you didn’t run on the spot.”
“Well you shouldn’t be,” *Tommy said sternly. “I have no intentions of going anywhere. And granted, it’s possible life is going to throw us some shit. But I’m willing to fight for you, Evan. And as long as both our lives are better with each other in it, then I’m willing to give this a genuine shot. I’m ready to put in the effort for this.”
Buck stewed and marinated and contemplated Tommy’s words. “Is that not a sentiment most people have at the start?”
“No it is not,” Tommy answered matter-of-factly. “Especially in the gay community. I’m not saying everyone, but I’ve ran into my fair share of guys only looking for Mr. Right Now. Or a daddy.”
Buck started to laugh heartily at the thought of Tommy being a ‘daddy’. He understood, though. Buck kinda agreed.
“I want off the hamster wheel, Evan. And I will do everything I can to reassure you that I mean it.”
Buck leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend deeply. Tommy wrapped his arms back around Buck and held him tight.
“I don’t want to hurt you either, if it’s any consolation,” Buck replied.
“I appreciate that. I don’t know if I have another heartbreak in me either. I spent too many years being inauthentic to myself and unhappy. I don’t want to waste anymore time of my life.”
“So we’re in good hands with each other?” Buck asked.
“I think so,” *Tommy said with a soft, warm smile that made Buck feel so safe and happy with it.
“I think so, too,” Buck said as he leaned in for one more kiss. “Ready to go back to sleep?”
“I suppose that’s up to your nose,” *Tommy said playfully as he turned the light off and pulled his boyfriend in close.
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kiss it when you're done by bigfootsmom on ao3
bucktommy • explicit • 2.3k
“Yes, yes— Tommy, please! Please please pleasepleaseplease—” Buck babbles, begging with a ruined voice for Tommy to come inside of him.
Tommy starts pulling away, cold air rushing in between them as he sits back on his knees. Buck panics, stomach flipping as he flails out, grabbing at Tommy’s arms and squeezing his legs around him.
“Wh–what are you doing?” He cries out, looking at Tommy with wild eyes as he tries to keep him close.
“Evan—” Tommy’s voice is strained as he holds himself perfectly still, a knot of concern forming between his brows as he swallows. “I’m gonna— baby, I’m not wearing a condom.”
Buck is not a fan of the pull out method.
read on ao3
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raspberry.
Tommy Kinard/Evan Buckley | 4k
Summary:
“you want to dance with him?”
tommy doesn’t know what prompts him to ask. they’ve been at the club for upwards of half an hour now and evan hasn’t given an indication that he wants to do anything other than what they’re doing—kissing, dancing, grinding dirtily off and on like two teenagers at prom.
but. there’s a man his gaze keeps flicking to.
tommy looks between them—between evan, in his crisp, tight white t-shirt and dark wash blue jeans—and the other man. brown skin, brown eyes, salt and pepper locs that flow to the middle of his back, dressed in a pair of black, skin-tight jeans that look painted on.
evan raises an eyebrow. “i wanna dance with you.”
and he’s sweet, this one. so willing to defend what they have, to say no, i’m not looking for anyone else. you don’t need to worry about that . as if tommy was worried about that. it’s been six months. he’s never been more certain of a relationship in his entire life.
he sways forward, nudging his thumb up underneath evan’s jaw so he can tilt his face up and to the side where the man is dancing against some young twenty-something that thinks they have a chance. and hell, maybe they do. but tommy’s not interested in the kid, not tonight, at least. he drops his voice, hand snaking down to evan’s ass so he can pull him close.
“let me change that: do you want me to see you dancing with him?”
evan shivers.
bingo.
read more on ao3
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I’m pinballing back and forth between “Buck and Eddie are fucking idiots who get blackout drunk and lose Chimney somewhere stupid” and “they all get drugged and it’s kind of fucked up actually” and I hate that with 911 they’re equally likely to happen.
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