transmasc-advice-blog
Advice for the transmascs
Vince - he/him
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How to Get a Binder Without Your Parents Knowing
*disclaimer!! we here at transmasc advice blog do not promote lying and sneaking around behind your parents/guardians back! this is just a resource that might help if you are in a situation where you need a binder!*
**disclaimer #2! i am from the us in an urban area. i dont know if this will work in other countries or in an rural area where you dont have gas stations/stores as closely available. feel free to add in the notes/reblogs**
First: ask yourself: how much trouble would you get in if your parents if your parents found out? i trust that you are able to make a responsible decision in your situation. make sure you will be in a safe spot.
If you have access to money:
Do research! the best binder brands that ive tried or others have recommended to me are: Spectrum, Underworks, Wonababi, and ForThem. Make sure to look at the size guide and do measurements!
Depending on your binder, you will need about $30-$60. If you have a credit/debit card that your parents don't monitor, you can ship the package to a friends house whose parents are chill(ask them first!!), or get a p.o. box (this can cost about $5 a month, go to your local ups store to see!). You might be able to have the post office hold the package for you, but contact them about that (you might need a photo id).
If you only have access to cash, or your parents monitor your card, you can go to your local gas station/target or walmart and they should have visa giftcards. buy a visa giftcard with about $10-$20 more then the binder costs (shipping+tax).
If you don't have access to money:
There are programs availble! read the websites!
point of pride
ftm essentials
rainbow youth pride alliance
queer trans project
and many more! do your own research!
If you know transmasc people who bind, ask them! maybe they have a spare/old one, you never know!
I hope this helps! Please feel free to add anything else in the notes!
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Alright so I'm getting a wetsuit to wear for a water park, one without pink and stuff but my TransTape is a size too small and I don't habe time to order more
I don't wanna be out there suffering gender dysphoria the entire time :(
And tips on how to bind without hurting myself?
you could put multiple layers of transtape and see if that works, or buy some kt tape from the drugs store!
you could also put on some transtape even if its too small and then put a sports bra on top and wear a rashguard/swinsuit shirt!
i hope it goes well!
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HEY YOU!
Yeah, you! Are you trans? Do you like reading books? Or watching movies?
Do you like media about trans men/transmasculine characters but don't know where to find it?
That's sooo crazy because I have this little spreadsheet I'm working on where I'm trying to document all media with protagonists/major characters who are FTM or transmasculine.
The spreadsheet currently has 200+ entries spread across the following categories:
Books
Manga
Memoirs and non-fiction
Movies
TV Shows
Graphic novels / Comics
Webcomics
Audio dramas
Books and movies are also sorted by:
Which character is trans (MC, love interest, antagonist, etc)
If the trans character is POC
The trans character's sexuality (Because I saw lots of transhet guys sad about only being able to find gay romances)
If the author/actor is also trans (if we know for sure)
It's free to use, and free to add to as well! Editing permissions are on, and I check on the spreadsheet every now and then to make sure everything is in order and to clean up.
If you know something that isn't on the list, please add it! You don't have to fill in every single column, but fill it to the best of your abilities.
If you don't want to use the big ass long link below, you can also use: bit.ly/FTM-protags
I made this because I want it to be a community resource. So even if you're not a trans guy or transmasculine person, please reblog!
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Queer-Trans Project Build a Queer Kits
Build a Queer kits are a free kit where you can get binders, tape, packing supplies, and other fun queer things, all for free. It comes in discreet packages so if you aren't out to your family its a good option. BIPOC get early access to restock. They do have GC2B binders which have a bad reputation, so do research to make sure its a safe choice for you.
Restock date: April 26th, 8pm EST, 7pm CST, 6pm MST, 5pm PST
please reblog!
not sponsored lol just a resource
#mod arlo#not an ask#i wouldve posted abt this sooner but i forgot about it until i got an email today :/
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Binding
Binders
I found that Spectrum Outfitters worked best for me (prices range from $50-$39). I also have binders that are older and stretched out or that don’t work as well (like gc2b) that I use when I don’t need as flat of a chest because they are easier on my rib cage lol. If you do that, do NOT count that as a break!
Practice safe binding!
Don't bind for more than 8 hours
Don't sleep in a binder
Don't exercise in a binder
Get the right size
Try to only wear a binder for 5 or 6 days a week (this one is hard, I know)
If it hurts, take it off!
If you notice bruising, something is wrong! Your binder might be too small or you may be wearing it for too long.
TransTape
Wearing binders all the time is not too good for you so I recommend using a variety of different binding techniques. One is TransTape!
The reason Ace bandages are unsafe is because as you breathe it gets tighter and tighter and can really hurt you. But TransTape doesn't do that, it's like the tape athletes use when they sprain their ankle or something. It's safe as long as it is used properly. Plus, you can wear it for up to 5 days, exercise and sleep while wearing it, and it's water proof!
TransTape isn't the only brand of course, but they do have a lot of great resources.
Learn more at their website here. I recommend starting with this page and the FAQ.
KT tape is another option if you cant afford/arent allowed to order TransTape. You can find it at most drugstores and box stores for relatively cheap. The adhesive isnt as strong as TransTape, keep that in mind when applying.
Men's Compression Shirts *I have not used these myself (yet) but I hear they work pretty well*
Made for cis men with gynecomastia but hey we can use em. Obviously will work much better for smaller chests, but could still do something for bigger chests, maybe for under a hoodie?
They won't flatten you as well as binders but the goal is more to masculinize the shape of your chest than to completely flatten it. They are also safer than binders.
Other stuff
The color black will make you look flatter
Layers! Lots of layers! (don't overheat)
Sports bras
Compression bras
Button ups <3333
Resources
Pain-Free Binding Techniques | Youtube Video by Arthur Rockwell
Binding 101 - Point of Pride
Binding Safely - Spectrum Outfitters
How to Hide Your Chest (without a binder) | Youtube Video by Iris Olympia
Binder Care - Spectrum Outfitters
Please free feel to add!
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I want to come out to my family so I can get support and things that would make me happy (boys clothes, binder ect.) but I'm not ready to change my pronouns or name cause that's scary and I'm worried if I keeping going by she/her they won't take me seriously and just ignore it.
mod arlo: first, figure out if they support trans people. like bring up a celebrity or friend that is trans, and see how they react. if they are transphobic, i would say dont come out. i know that really sucks but if you are put in an unsafe position physically, emotionally, or financially because of it, thats not worth it (if you think it is worth it, and you have a support system outside of your family, then maybe go for it.)
next if you figure out that they are supportive, sit them down or write a letter/text. if you think one parent (sorry im assuming you have two) would take it better than the other, then tell them first, and plan for two to talk to your other parent. you could say/write “hey [mom/dad/parent], i need to tell you something. i have been thinking about this for a long time, and ive realized that im trans. this means that i am not a girl, and being referred and perceived as a girl makes me really uncomfortable. i understand this might be a bit shocking for you, but i need you to understand that i am not a different person. im still your kid, i just identify as [nonbinary/boy/genderqueer]. right now i dont want to change how you refer to me, so [given name] and she/her are still ok. that might change in the future.”
if you dont want to fully come out to them, you could say “hey [mom/dad/parent], i think i want to experiment with dressing a bit more masculine, could you help me get some more masc clothes?” or if you are out shopping with them, you could suggest going to the boy/mans section.
i hope that if you come out it goes well!
mod vince: you could also tell your parents/guardians that you are exploring your gender identity and want to start messing around with how you express yourself. meaning clothing, binders, etc. you can tell them when you come out that you want to go slow, but tell them that doesn’t mean you aren’t trans or that you won’t want to change your name/pronouns in the future. communicate how you’re feeling! be direct with what you want and what you don’t want.
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i call myself a trans man but i like wearing skirts and dresses and make up. but i still get dysphoria when people dont call me a boy. am i faking? or is this just a stepping stone?
gender identity ≠ gender presentation!!!
if wearing fem clothes/presenting more fem makes you more comfortable, but you still identify as a trans man, it doesnt make it invalid/ mean that you are faking! theres no one way to look as a man.
if you feel that this is more of a stepping stone for you, and you do want to transition into wearing more masc clothes/presenting more masc, then go for it, if you have access to that. it doesnt have to be a stepping stone if you want to continue dressing fem though.
if you need help getting misgendered less, i would recommend maybe wearing a pronoun pin? it doesnt work all of the time but if people actually take the time to look at it then it might help. you could also masculinize your makeup and voice if you want to still dress fem but still look more masc.
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can i ask what binders you’d recommend?
also thank you for your amazing blog!
mod arlo: in my experience, ive used underworks and tomboyx and they have both worked great for me. tomboyx is more of a compression sports bra, so it wont get you as flat as a binder but its still a good option when you dont want to bind fully.
i haven't personally tried them, but ive heard wonababi, spectrum, and forthem are also good brands to try!
i would stay away from gc2b, as their quality is not super good and they have had many cases of more permanent damage to your ribs.
make sure to bind safely!
mod vince: popping in to say you should check out the binding master post!
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hi, i'm afraid to use male restroom because im afraid that i don't pass enough..
Even tho i think i DO pass im still afraid, what do i do? :(
a few things you could do:
before you enter the bathroom, ask a friend if they think you pass enough. make sure they know it’s important to be honest. if you are passing pretty well most times, this can just be an extra confidence boost.
slowly get used to using the men’s, going into one that is empty, then one with a couple people, etc. but i find it easier to enter a busy restroom (as long as there are still free stalls) because it’s less likely that i’ll be noticed.
for me, i think i pass better with a hat on. on days when i’m feeling like i’m not passing as well, i’ll bring a hat with and put it on before entering a restroom. if there’s anything like that, something you could do that makes you feel more confident/helps you pass, you could try that.
make sure the place you are going to the restroom in is safe.
good luck!
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You are so helpful- thank you. So much.
of course! 💕
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are there any voice training resources you recommend? my voice is one of my main sources of dysphoria, and I don't know how to deepen it without it sounding raspy or strained =[
ive found this video and this series pretty helpful!
a few quicker things you can do is work on you intonation. without deeping your voice, a good way to start is changing your vocal cadence from a more fem to more masc.
typically fem people talk with elongated vowels, and with alot of expression.
notice how men in your life talk and try to compare that with how women talk, and try to pick up those masc characteristics and add them to how you talk.
another way recommended by my transmasc friend who gets voice lessons:
Hum in the lowest comfortable tone you can
Slowly nod your head up and down, continuing to hum
After doing that 15 times lower the hum to be deeper
Repeat the 2nd step
And bam, your voice will be lowered.
do this carefully and not too much in one period of time, as it can be damaging. but with repetition of this your voice should get lowered for a longer period of time.
make sure to stay safe, drink lots of water while voice training, take breaks if your throat starts to hurt, and dont do this if you are sick/were sick recently!
i hope this helps! :]
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So I am finally getting started with T soon but I am having doubts. I met a detrans woman today, as in she went on T and realized that she was cis and stopped T. Something about this interaction has me worried. I've wanted T for a couple of solid months now, been thinking about it almost as long as I've wanted top surgery. But now I'm super worried that I'm faking it. That I'm not trans masc, even as far as worrying that I'm not genderfluid (and I had finally gotten past my feelings of faking my gender fluidity) I was simply hoping that this blog would have some advice? I don't know any trans masc people personally to ask about this.
mod arlo: i understand the feeling like you are faking it. life is pretty long and if starting t making you feel amazing and euphoric right now, then you should do it. and if you decide later that you arent trans/t doesnt work for you anymore, then you can go through the same journey of seeking out gender euphoria. getting past feeling like you are faking it is really hard, but ive been told that if you think you are faking it you probably arent, because people that do it for attention/faking dont think like that. i hope this helps! thanks for submiting :]
mod vince: don’t worry anon, not many cis people actually get through “the system”. have you talked to this detrans person? what was her experience like? i have heard of some detrans people who don’t feel resentment at all and are actually glad they went through the process of transitioning, even though it wasn’t for them. i would talk to someone if you can. maybe a therapist, if possible. if you don’t feel ready, don’t rush. give yourself time to think. if you go to a clinic, and tell them you think hormones are the right thing for you but you are not completely sure, i’m sure they will have some options for you. like a low dose to start with or something like that. good luck!
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do you know any ways I can get ahead in the t-acquiring process until I can start the process to get it? For reference I’m in the US in a state that is trans friendly (for now). My parents are VERY against any kind of HRT and I want to get on it as soon as possible. Are there any steps I can take to make this process quicker when I move out?
atleast in my state you have to be +18 to get hrt without parent permission, but im assuming you will be/are 18.
you can call your local planned parenthood if they have those in your state, and ask them what their process is.
this is from folx, a service that provides HRT, which when you move out should be pretty easy to access right away.
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ive been feeling rlly dysphoric lately and the 2 sports bras method isint working for me anymore, any advice on other ways to bind (preferably that don't involve sewing)
ive found this guide by iris olympia very helpful!
one thing they didnt talk too much in depth about is transtape/kt tape. depending on your chest size, that can work great aswell. if you arent out/cant order transtape online, kt tape works similarly (though ive heard the adhesive isnt as strong) and you can get it at any drugstore or box store like walmart or target for relatively cheap!
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I want to tell one of my teachers (who I'm out to as non-binary) that I'm actually transmasc and ask her start using my chosen name. Do you have any advice on how I would do that?
you could thank her for supporting you so far, tell her that you’ve realized you are actually transmasc, and ask her to call you your chosen name.
“hey [teacher name] thank you for being so supportive, i’ve realized i’m actually transmasc, and i’d really appreciate it if you would start calling me [chosen name] and [chosen pronouns]”
good luck!
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How do i tell my parents to stop calling me "daughter" and stop refering to me as she/her? Even if they talk about me as a transmasc they use she/her on me, but apparently they are "supportive"
Sorry for a bit of rant
have a talk with them, tell them that part of supporting you is using the correct pronouns and words to refer to you. when they misgender you, correct them. explain to them how it makes you feel when they misgender you. communication is key! my parents did the same thing. it took some time for them to even try to gender me correctly.
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so im a minor who has built my whole life on being feminine and the color pink (not forced, i love it lmao) and im just now realizing i might be trans. idk where to start bc i love being fem and i dont wanna suddenly change everything to be stereotypically masculine but also i want to be accepted as male, even tho i know that it'll take forever to do. aaaaaaagh its going not great idk what to do
you can be feminine and still be a dude! you don’t need to pass to be trans. not all trans people pass, not all trans people want to pass! wear what makes you happy.
if the people around you, after you come out, do not accept you as male then those are not good people to have around. doesn’t matter what you look like, your community should accept and respect you no matter what.
if you want to pass better, while still wearing what you like, here are some ideas:
masculine clothes but pink
short hair, use mascara or smth to draw a lil mustache, stuff like that to make your face as masculine as possible and wear your feminine clothes
cant think of much else rn, maybe other people have more ideas! good luck!
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