tofuwok
somewhere between life and giving up from it.
TW: thoughts from my darkest place.
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⭐️rving isn't just an action, it's a mindset. you are in control. ignore the cravings.
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Okay; new week, new start. My dream is to drop at least 10kg before summer, so it means 2,5kg per week because summer vacation starts in month.
I still have in mind this, when someone told that she dropped 20kg in MONTH. It's 5kg per week. If I get myself back to that ⭐️ving mindset and have just enough willpower, let's think that what if I could be almost in my UGW before summer? My weight was this morning 70,9kg, and my UGW is 45kg, so what if I could be 50kg before summer...?
I just need this mindset back.
I have to be strong now.
I have to remember my goal.
I can do this, if I want it enough.
#eating disoder things#tw eating things#mental health#mental health blog#eating disoder trigger warning#bulim14#bulimist#anor3c1a#thinspo#tw ana shit#tw ana diary#ana trigger
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Weight diary:
29.4. 70,9kg
Reason why I have been gaining 800g: I binged last night pretty bad.
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Todays binge (YES I FUCKING BROKE):
3 chocolate bars, 650kcal
10 salt crackers with aurajuusto, 200kcal
120g candy, 400kcal
4 bread slice with cheese, 300kcal
Total: 1500kcal,
what I burned: 400kcal
I feel like I am responsible about my binging when I write it all in here. I feel like a failure again.
#eating disoder things#tw eating things#mental health#mental health blog#eating disoder trigger warning#bulim14#bulimist#anor3c1a
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I remind this for me again and again: I don't really want to eat. I can't do it. I'm just bored, and it was my way to have fun for a moment for so long, because it ended up purging always. It was when I was more bulimic.
But now I can't even think that I even could eat. I don't have any interest to purge anymore, and food gaves me so much anxiety and panic, that I seriously can't go to the store. It's a habit from the past - IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO REALLY DO ANYMORE. I'm just bored, not anything else.
JUST BORED.
#eating disoder things#tw eating things#mental health#mental health blog#eating disoder trigger warning#bulim14#bulimist#anor3c1a
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Hi.
I'm tofuwok (she/her). You can call me Tofu.
I'm 25 years old, I'm finnish, and have eating disorder somewhere between anorexia and bulimia.
What you are gonna find in here? Just my thoughts with my life, and my journey with finding perfection. I am not recovering, but I want to say that I'M COURAGING EVERYBODY TO RECOVERY. I want everybody to keep themselfs safe, and this life isn't for that.
So TRIGGER WARNING: I'm writing here pretty messed up thoughts.
Stats:
height: 160cm
SW: 90kg ✔️
80kg ✔️
75kg ✔️
70kg ✔️
65kg
GW: 60kg
55kg
50kg
UGW: 45kg
(I also keep in here a weight diary, where you and especially me can see my progress step by step)
#eating disoder things#tw eating things#mental health#mental health blog#eating disoder trigger warning#bulim14#bulimist#anor3c1a#tw ana shit#tw ana diary#ana trigger
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You have to be EMPTY to LOOSE WEIGHT.
If you KEEP EATING you'll be FAT babe, that's how this cruel world works
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*you reach one of your goal*
*eat everything you want because "I DesERvE THiS!!!"*
*be right there where you started*
#eating disoder things#tw eating things#mental health#mental health blog#eating disoder trigger warning#bulim14#bulimist#anor3c1a
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I struggle with urge to binge and purge. I'm more anorectic nowadays, but still I have this bulimic side, altought it's just a thought. Because I'm scared of food. I go to the store, and regret it immediately and start almost to cry, no matter am I gonna purge or not.
I desire liquorise, sushi, bread and cheese. But in reality (what I also want to remind myself) I can't eat. It's just a thought - that urge.
It's not what I really want.
#eating disoder things#tw eating things#mental health#mental health blog#eating disoder trigger warning#bulim14#bulimist#anor3c1a
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stomach just growled like it doesn't have my thigh fat to eat from
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Pregnant Bella Swan is my thinspo
(Photos from pinterest)
#eating disoder things#tw eating things#mental health#mental health blog#eating disoder trigger warning#ed challenge#bulim14#bulimist#anor3c1a
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I don't know should I start to keep a weight diary in here or something. I feel ashamed how my weight just stays there between 71kg-69kg and my willpower to just continue to get under 69kg is a zero. I WANT IT but I broke every time, when I lose my motivation so if I'm like responsible to tell to you guys how I have been failed if I start gain.
#eating disoder things#tw eating things#mental health#mental health blog#eating disoder trigger warning#ed challenge#bulim14#bulimist#anor3c1a#thinspo
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i feel like at some point, people with ed just stop looking human. just bones barely holding toghether, looking like they'll fall apart at the slightest touch. and i want that so bad.
i wanna be so beautiful exactly that way.
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