Yet another surreal year of a surreal life. This year, a lot of positive progress has been made. I have started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to remedy the constant self-criticism and berating, I am more outgoing and more approachable than I ever was before.
The first notably bizarre event of the year was the rediscovery of my SD Cards and recovery of their contents, which were lost in late November 2021. This all happened in late March 2023.ย
The second surreal event came on July 21st and 22nd respectively. In which I left a school I had been attending for over 13 years (September 2009 - July 2023), prompting an album.
This year also had its negatives, in which the chaos from October 2022 still persisted until only recently. Another notable event of the year was a betrayal I suffered at the hands of a former close friend of mine, whom denounced the fact that I had endured abuse for most of my life at the hands of my father, calling me a "liar.". Whilst, simultaneously, I build a stronger and closer friendship with an entirely different person, which spawned its own uniquely titled album.ย
Another thing I'd like to point out, on the topic of my former supposed "friend" calling me a "liar" is this: For years, I thought it was normal to be in an abusive home. Being berated, dehumanised and insulted to my face and behind my back by a supposed "father figure". It was normal, however, since the chaos from last year has well-beyond settled, I now can rationalise my feelings and realisations. Since I realised the fact that I was abused and traumatised, I began to feel a deep sense of resentment, anger and pain. As well as hatred and bitterness towards my father. These feelings have not gone away and will persist for a long while. I have a haunted past that affects me even today and it will take a while before I am strong enough to face it. That is, by seeing my father.
As such, this delightfully surreal year has got a unique name all to its own: "Achieving Salvation? - The Great Pendulum", since it has its fair share of positive and negative experiences. Since this year is a continuance of 2022, there's a reason the word "Salvation" appears here, as that's what the mission was and currently is, for this ongoing period of my life. The words "Great" and "Pendulum" also appear here, because of how quickly my mental state would switch from being in a positive frame of mind, to a negative and depressive state, which has persisted irregularly throughout this whole entire year.
Link: SY_1 - S-R_1 - Achieving Salvation? - The Great Pendulum (2023) : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
Video: SY_2 - S-R_2 - The 2nd Golden Year: 10 Years Challenge (2024).
Track: Torchkas - The Rage (`The (Coronation Day OST - Hell).
This is the main track of SY_2 - S-R_2 - The 2nd Golden Year: 10 Years Challenge (2024) and the main overall track of TNYJ-4 - The Spectralon Remedy (2022 - 2024).
"And here's to a feast, to satiate a lust for the dawning of a new age, one of prosperity and freedom. Gone are the days of pain and suffering, as you yet again reinvent yourself in a better image, that of which was envisioned by the sole objective employed by The Remedy, as it is he who has entered adulthood that must find his own happiness by force and determination, vanquishing the demons of the past to a bearable extent, allowing himself to be a functional member of the society you once hated.
However...
โฆAt the end of it all, you've come so far, only for that same journey to cost absolutely everything you hold near and dearโฆ"
This year will be another weird experience, as I turn 20 years old and I will have had the tracheostomy out for exactly a decade, come June 23rd.
This year is the final year of the โSpectralon Remedyโ Period, thus, this yearโs Life Mixtape Entry will be the longest. As it has an immensely greater importance than the introductory year.
- TNYJ
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