when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Sometimes the not knowing is the gift. When my youngest son was getting too big to carry and my back was getting too bad to try and push through the pain, I wanted to cry every time from the bittersweetness of trying to hold on to each precious moment.

posts that make me want to rip my heart out part 5

So OJ Simpson died. The funeral home has the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

Don’t forget we invade the Fire Nation today

Someone captured the solar eclipse on an airplane

Do you ever think of the meaning of the word unreal? The eclipse felt unreal - like something staged. Like going to dinner at the Mexico pavilion at Epcot, where it’s always and forever sunset.

Just before the totality, it felt like there was a spotlight on us. Then we could see Venus and Jupiter. Suddenly, There was a ring of fire in the sky, and sunset in every direction. The animals were quiet. Just completely separate from reality.

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

So, if you like original fiction, I’ve started a new story on my author newsletter. The plan is to post bimonthly, every first and third Wednesday.

British tabloid press: Kate photoshopped her family photos! Badly! This proves she’s a zombie!

Every mom everywhere: here’s my Christmas card. Please ignore that I gave my kid three eyes.

I like to think that at least once, the Avatar cycle seemed to skip the Water Tribe—like people knew it was the water tribe’s turn, everyone was looking for them, the tests are done on all the kids, but like 60-80 years go by and no avatar until some Earth Kingdom kid shows up. People wonder if the cycle skipped a generation or what, but nothing serious was going on at that time so they shrug and move on.

It’s only many many years later that someone is researching Swampbender oral history and someone tells the story of “Ol Stinky Jess, she was a funny one, could light the swamp on fire an’ all sorts o’ shenanigans! Best catfishgator catcher in the tribe, she was” and thats literally it, she just lived a totally chill life in the swamp and nobody knew what an avatar was at the time so they just rolled with that funny gal’s odd bending ways.

So how are we all feeling about the live action Avatar?

(Art by the incredible Melp of @book4air)

I watched 5 episodes so far. I’ll watch the rest tomorrow on stream too.

So far, I feel pretty vindicated with my 6-7/10 review for the premiere episode.

Lemme know your thoughts! Comments or reblogs welcome.

Tl4j discovering Luke’s old nickname of Wormie? Maybe from Din who spends time on Tattione still?

I think DIN finding out would be funny enough

(commission info // kofi support!)

love people referring to the dracula offseason. i can't stop picturing exchanges like "well, we're in the offseason" "the Superbowl is literally this weekend" "no, not football. dracula"

I’m finally watching Ashoka (had to catch up on all the animated shows).

So Sabine is the little Jedi who couldn’t? When did that happen?

I’m re-watching Prisioner of Azkaban tonight. I’ve always felt like it was the best of the movies. There are little whimsical touches all the way through that make the world feel more magical. Like the music they play during the bogart lesson in DADA, or the way Harry is slung about while riding the Knight Bu, or Ron’s muttering in his sleep about spiders making him tap dance.

I also love the beautiful extra scenes with the whomping Willow that show the changing of the seasons. The way it shakes off it’s leaves in fall.

The aesthetic shifts from the previous movies. Flitwick looks different. The fat lady looks different. It makes the fact that they had to replace the actor who played Dumbledore seem less startling.

Finally, there are so many aspects that feel like a horror movie. The scene on the train with the dementors. The way the portculus drops with the night sky as a backdrop as they seal off the castle.

Among the Potter movies, PoA is a singular movie. I wish the rest had been more like it.

Contrast Scrooge’s grave to Tiny Tim’s (overlooking the river, where visitors can see ducks). Bob tells his wife that it would have done her good to see it.

I’ve often wondered where Fred was in all this. He is mentioned by Bob.

Did he mourn his uncle? Why didn’t he try to get Scrooge a better burial situation. The conclusion I’ve come to is that Scrooge had his burial arrangements set in advance, and they were predictably the cheapest he could arrange. He wouldn’t have hired mourners and Fred was excluded from any plans. He may not have even been told of the arrangements since Scrooge seemed antagonistic toward his nephew.

Scrooge’s sorry post-death situation, just like his life, is his own making.

A Dickens December Day 24

Before the establishment of Highgate Cemetery (and others from the Magnificent Seven), most London cemeteries were crowded, unpleasant places—much like the one in which Scrooge found his future grave. However, what distressed him wasn't merely the graveyard being "Walled in by houses; overrun by grass and weeds, the growth of vegetation's death, not life; choked up with too much burying; fat with repleted appetite" (the last point is delicious!). I believe this was the least of his concerns. Instead, it was all the encounters with people's reactions to his death that shocked and shook him.

But Scrooge appears rather sincere and persuasive in his appeals to the Spirit, for his words eventually managed to make the otherwise firm hand of the Ghost shake and then tremble. Thus, the whole scene feels rather climactic. Well done, Scrooge!

"a group of handsome girls, all hooded and fur-booted, and all chattering at once, tripped lightly off to some near neighbour's house; where, woe upon the single man who saw them enter—artful witches, well they knew it—in a glow!"

Charles Dickens celebrates Hot Girl December