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Holes
I'm not sure I'm alive.
I might even be dead.
I hope its a Comedy,
I did always want to read Dante,
and Bronte,
and the other thespians in between.
And listen to Solange,
and Beyonce.
And experience the culture of my Mom, say?
Nah.
I'll pass.
That racist shit, all holier than thou,
grew up on a farm,
in a trauma pit,
cooking up delicious little lies,
devious rhubard pies, swatting flies.
Back n forth on the porch,
in your handmade throne of tyranny.
Fighting the same damn fight that we just held in January,
You know? Annually
Its insanity.
like the Clockwork fucking Orange.
Seriously?
Responsibility?
I beg of you to show me accountability.
You're killing me.
Give me 5 minutes of your time without laying into me.
Free Will versus Conditioning,
it's interesting,
Beethoven's Ninth Symphony
I'm listening,
but its no longer interesting.
It's interesting,
It's just solo negativity,
A conductor of mental dystrophy.
An epiphany…
My tendencies are controlled by your shoestrings.
Damn, look at your hand,
fire is lighting up your mood ring.
Let it out,
Let me have it,
I'll grow up to be an addict,
we won't talk,
I'll walk away,
It'll be my fault til you're grey,
and I'll come get up,
lift you up,
read you to sleep.
It's complicated,
this constant shouldered complaint.
But I will carry your bones.
There will be no dust left to settle between us two souls.
Only love and blood and all these old holes.
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Hindsight
My mind is going crazy,
Who the fuck do I want to be?
What do I want from me?
Wrong thoughts. Impulsive.
I want to be free.
It hurts.
I'm damaged.
But doing well, considering.
I traded my life in to be social,
But I'm not me since then.
If I had known better,
I wouldn't have fucked around.
I should've stood my ground.
But I'm wasted,
On these feelings,
With these demons.
And hindsight is a bitch.
She'll get ya.
Make you feel like you're nothing,
And that's something I can't resist.
It's not love.
It's drugs,
And sex,
And money.
But, honey.
I promise, again,
This won't be my last bend.
I can't stop me.
Impulsive and damaged,
If you can't manage,
I understand.
Been this way for a while,
I understand.
I'm wasted,
On these feelings,
And these demons
They just keep coming back.
One look at you and I'm stuck.
Hindsight is a bitch.
She makes me feel like I'm nothing, and that's something I can't resist.
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