to all the aro people reblogging my post saying "we can love too, thats just not the point" shut up. please. genuinely shut up. not all aro people can love, not all aro people are capable of love. so on a post that represents loveless aros, aplatonic aros, and a lot of nd aros, you do not need to say that. you don't need to speak over the voices of other aro people.

not to mention the fact that the perspective of aros being able to love just tries to make aromanticism more appealing to amatonormativity and the idea that we are worth how much we love. not all aro people are capable of love. so if your perspective is "aros love too", please leave. i dont care if you are aro, if that is your perspective, i dont want you on my page.

pls

soooo fox news are trying to create what’s essentially a hotline for parents to out lgbt educators and lgbt kids in school situations and im not saying that you should flood it with as much cursed images and gay shit as possible to make it impossible for them to receive any actual messages that may threaten peoples livelihoods….but also the email for it is in the linked tweet…. soooooo…. 😚✌️

Also loving your family/friends isn’t what makes you human either! It’s fire!!!!

“sex/romance/empathy makes us human,” they say. awful. pathetic. what makes us human is the urge to set things on fire

So I watched JaidenAnimation’s new video, and I had some Thoughts

Lion ghost spirit thing for a maybe possibly future Chima fic

I've said this before but I'll just go ahead and say it again:

I don't think any explanation of aromanticism needs to include the "aros can still feel other types of love, they aren't monsters" take. Consider that

Aromanticism doesn't need to be redeemed. We shouldn't have to prove how much we love in other ways. Our humanity should not even be in question in the first place

Replacing "romantic love" with "other kinds of love" as the gateway to humanity doesn't actually fix the problem, it just moves the goalpost. There are still people who won't feel included in that category, be it aplatonic people, loveless aros, or anyone else who doesn't relate to love in a normative way. That doesn't make them monsters.

Any attempt at tying humanity to a specific feeling or experience will always end up excluding someone. Instead of trying to find a new definition, just consider not questioning people's humanity in the first place? (Yes, even horrible people are human).

Anyways, some aros do love in other ways, some don't, and none of that should be used as a judgement of morality or humanity. I understand that for some people it's important to include their personal relationship to love, I'm sure there are many ways to do that without throwing others under the bus. That's all!

Edit: because apparently this wasn't clear enough, this post is not telling aros that they aren't allowed to talk about the ways they experience love. Aros can be as loud and proud about love as they want to be. This post is ONLY about arguments that imply love is the defining factor that keeps someone from being less human or a monster or a bad person. I'm sure that both of these statements can coexist without causing conflict.

OKAY, THAT'S IT, everyone has been fighting this, so let's discuss. This is regarding the end of Jaiden Animations' new video.

Listen here bitches: loveless aros/aplatonic/low-empathy people are fucking fantastic and i will not tolerate any slander about these very awesome, very human people

Jaiden Animations clearly did try their best, but like they said, they are new to this and are still in the process of learning about the community. I remember have my own phase where i went on about that "aros can still feel love" bullshit untill i educated myself.

That being said, ignorance about loveless/aplatonic/low-empathy people is no excuse for erasure or dehumanisation of these groups, and yes, I think Jaiden should be informed of their error.

But! Not in an aggressive manner! I firmly belive they had good intentions.

The real problem is that, no one knows about loveless and aplatonic people. The information about this isnt wide spread enough outside the community. In order to validate these groups we first need people to be educated about their existence.

So yeah, now that more people are discussing aromanticism, lets talk about what makes someone human. (its being created from an egg and a sperm). Lets talk about erasure and lets talk about aromantic and asexual voices in media.

And please please please TRY TO BE NICE. Jaiden Animations has a lot of lesrning to do but they're very new to this. i am sorry yall were invalidated by someone within the community like that....

OKAY I'm done. GOODBYE AND STAY SAFE!

So I've actually watched Jaiden's video now and overall it's amazing and has absolutely done wonders for awareness. Yes, the part about 'still feeling platonic attraction and not being a monster' hurts but because that is going to hurt regardless of who said it and their intentions. However, given how well intentioned and thought out the rest of the video is, I think she just genuinely doesn't know and that's okay.

This is echoing what a lot of people have said already but no one is expected to know everything and get everything right 100% of the time. Inclusivism is a mindset about learning and listening to other people and their identities, their stories, their feelings. It isn't about getting things right, it's about what you do after you get something wrong. And given how well she talks about everything else in the video, from the definitions not containing the words "lack of" to briefly explaining split attraction in an intuitive way, I think she just didn't know about loveless aros, aplatonic folks, and low to no empathy people.

Her video is an awesome gateway into the a-spec community. 15 minutes is nowhere near long enough to explain every detail of the community. I've been part of the community since I was 14 (then I identified as demiace and demiro) and most of my research has been done in the past 22 months and I'm still learning (which is awesome, I love how diverse our community is).

One last thing however, we (loveless, apl, low/no empathy folks) are still allowed to express our hurt and pain as result of what she said, we shouldn't be told to be quiet because her intentions were good. Being hurt and pointing out this flaw does not discredit how important her video is, we can be critical of things whilst still upholding their importance (which is a nuance that is sadly missed and sometimes misused to justify supporting certain creators but that's a whole other can of worms)

Jaidenanimation’s new video on being AroAce (12:18): “If i were to guess, i would assume the thing that makes someone human is… basic empathy. Like i’m not an emotionless monster, i can still love people. I love my family, and my pets, just… platonically. And i would hope that you’re the same.”

I was enjoying the video until this point, but i have to say i’m really disappointed. I’m not good at writing down my thoughts like this, but i just… i’m low-empathy so it hurts to hear that i’m not human from one of my favourite youtubers. i have friends who don’t feel any love whatsoever for anyone, and they’re the best friends i could ask for. i just… i really thought jaiden would do better.

Ok ok, but for real, I want to know what other loveless aroaces think about the whole "empathy and platonic love" bit of Jaiden's video. Specifically loveless aroaces, no or low empathy aroaces and/or aplatonic aroaces.

Personally, I'm genuinely really happy to see representation for aroaces, and I'm also a little annoyed at the fact that I've noticed a lot of people within our community feel they have to justify that absence of attraction with... other forms of love/attraction or empathy. Not because it's their fault, but because of the value that society puts on experiencing love and empathy.

But, I know that her values are very different than mine. It definitely hurt at first to hear, but like... obviously it wasn't meant as a deliberate takedown or dehumanization, and I realized that I used to say the exact same things when I first was figuring out my asexuality and aromanticism. She's human like the rest of us, and she meant well. It was insensitive, but like she said, she's still kinda learning about the aspec community and what falls under the umbrella.

All in all: Jaiden isnt going to be able to kind of... encapsulate such a vast community and it's experiences, she's one person and this is about her and her experiences. I do think, though, it's good to have conversations like this- not necessarily about how "she came out wrong", thats not a point I'm trying to make, because thats just a shitty thing to say- but in the way that so much stock is put into the idea that you have to "compensate" when you don't experience sexual or romantic attraction, and have to prove that you're worthy of something or even human.

Loveless, aplatonic and low/no empathy aroaces, what do you think?

Please boost this!

You can read it here

laval