thebritishblabbermouth - Tumblr blog

thebritishblabbermouth · 5 years

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Peaceful storms

Heyya beautiful people!!

Its been a year since ive been active on tumblr and my gosh a year through med school has been insanely exhausting! Glad that’s over

This piece is a little hello from my side.

I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think!

I love you guys and thank you for sticking with me for the year

Feel free to message and just say hi :3

SUGA FANFICTION

I’d pick your thunder and your rain over anyone’s sunshine any day – anonymous

The pastel green wall clock struck 2 am, the wind stood steady and calm as the moon hid between dark clouds that hung like blots of ink in the sky. There was no light in the living room, just me and the darkness. Just like it had always been without him.

6 months ago, I was living a dream. My boyfriend, my job, the weather. What I wouldn’t do to go back to those 3 days. He’d just returned from their most recent stadium tour, hungry for me and for our time together. 3 days of love, food and a whole lot of sleep. But mostly, it was 3 whole days of Yoongi. The peculiar smell of fresh laundry and citrus that I had grown to associate with him, the way his warm eyes crinkled as he smiled, lingering touches and promising words. The sun had beamed down on us, soft clouds in the sky, and streaks of light playing games on our skin as we held each other. Perfection in its prime.

But, 3 days of extreme happiness obviously had to match with 3 days of stormy nights. It had been a misunderstanding, something trivial as it always is. Tour dates or a spontaneous fan meeting on the other side of the world. Something to take him away from me again, something to keep him from my arms and the safe haven of our apartment. Perhaps it wasn’t fair, perhaps it was meant to be. The long distance, the time difference, the lack of trust, empty phone calls with broken syllables and dried tears. Maybe that was all we would get, raging skies with angry clouds- thunder and lightning appearing as we hurled words at each other. Words that held no meaning – just remorse and regret.

And, 6 months after those storms, on this peaceful night. It felt like the storm was inside me. It wasn’t that things no longer made sense, wasn’t that I’d forgotten how to function. Rather, it felt like every breath I took was pointless- for there no life in my being. I was numb to everything, almost frozen with time.

I wouldn’t have noticed him entering the room for I had not heard the keys turning the lock or the shuffle of his heavy boots against the hardwood floor- I was too busy listening to the crickets and the dull voice inside my head, rather it was the lamp he’d switched on that shook me from my trance, its light, bathing the space in a moody yellow.

Auto-pilot mode. That’s what they call it. When you do things without thinking about them. That must have been it. I hadn’t realised id walked over to him until his eyes met mine- steely and tired.

‘’I haven’t…haven’t washed my hair in 2 weeks.’’

His voice was gruff, but not quiet. The noise pulled my from the numbness, jolting me into action. I am not entirely sure what it was he said. But it had been words and apparently I knew what I had to do.

A bath.

Min yoongi had somehow managed to make his way into the shared bathroom, hovering at the door way as I set up the large round tub with a pink bath bomb. Rose and tea tree drove away the smell of disinfectant and surface cleaner, the noise of the tap filling the tangible silence of the room.

He stood in front of me, waiting, watching. Noticing my moves as if he expected me to do something new. He wasn’t in luck.

‘’Unbutton.’’

I thought I’d forgotten how to speak.

Huh. I guess not.

I watched him sigh in retaliation- his slack arms and worn face highlighting his fatigue. The dark circles seemed defined under the vibrant lighting, usually rosy lips devoid of makeup and bruised at the edges- the constant biting having taken its toll on the soft skin.

‘’Too tired.’’ He said, his chin tucking into his chest like a little school boy. Was this defeat? Was this him coming back to me? Was this him tired of running away?

My heart sped up at the thoughts, my own grubbing mind had suddenly been startled awake by the act of Suga casting away his defences. What was this man doing to my sanity? Was he stripping me of it or teaching me how to live? I didn’t know. And at that point, it couldn’t have mattered less.

I began unbuttoning the baby blue dress shirt, my hands trembling as we stood close, breathing the same air. Our eyes too afraid to meet. The shirt was stripped in seconds and his dark slacks pooled at the tiled floor. He stepped into the water timidly, checking the temperature with is pale toes. Suga was ever the baby boy- his fans understood him spot on. But I’d always wondered if I’d ever understand Min yoongi the same way.

It was unspoken I wouldn’t be joining him in the bath, I had another task at hand. His hair. Currently dyed at a marron red, at least this time it hadn’t matched the colour of the bubbles in the bath. I smirked inwardly at the memory and sat down near his head as it perched at the edge of the tub.

‘’It’s really dirty Yoongi.’’ I said, soaking his scalp with warm water. This would take at least 2 large pumps of shampoo and perhaps an extra dollop of conditioner.

‘’You called me Yoongi again.’’

I am not sure what I had expected in reply, perhaps a smirk or a defence. But his words brought a shiver to my spine and I halted, his eyes were wide open- boring into my own as he watched me- gauging for a reaction. I tugged at his hair, the distraction successful as he groaned and turned away- momentarily forgetting the interaction I had not yet prepared for.

Washing his hair should have been relaxing for him- and it probably was because I was sure I heard a snore 10 minutes into the second rinse, but for me it was heaven. The strands were rough and dry from years of hair colour and damage but they felt soft in my palms, the shampoo working its magic as I watched his face in peace, memorising every contour and dip, the way his eyelashes curved and his nose twitched as I massaged his scalp, the slight overgrowth of a moustache he so hated and the acne that remained from years ago. It was imperfect and untouched yoongi at his most natural form. My yoongi.

‘’The water’s getting cold.’’ He said, once again driving me away from my thoughts, but this time as I watched him, I noticed his eyes flood, his bottom lip nipped between his teeth as he struggled to maintain composure. Had he been crying? Right in front of me? How had I not noticed?

I nodded and he swiftly retched away from my hands. The white towel wrapped around his waist, hair dripping wet and cheeks flushed as he realised that I’d noticed his reddened face, the tinge to his waterline implying unshed tears and unsaid words. My hands were still wet and he hastily wiped them down with a small rag, his fast movements leaving my still slow mind confused.

‘’What? What are you doing yoongi? You’re going to fall!’’

Suga attempting to multitask was a sight to behold, he failed drastically- often paving way for multiple scratches and gentle kisses to take the pain away. Attempting to wipe my hands and his hair, all the while trying to find a pair of his old boxers from the shelves- ones I hadn’t had the heart to throw away.

‘’We need to get to bed now.’’ He said, grabbing my wrist and pushing me out of the closet, leading the way to the bed.

Had I been anticipating this? Somewhere hidden within my subconscious, he was back in the apartment and id just washed his hair? Why? It made no sense. Had I no self-respect? No life beyond this reckless man? Was I going to let him destroy me all over again?

My thoughts clouded my actions as my back lay against the cool sheets, his hot hand snaking its way around my stomach, teasing the skin as he pulled me towards him. My back melted into his front, head tucked under his chin and arm propped out as my personal pillow. His bangs dripped water into my own hair as I sighed deeply against his skin, breathing him in as I did.

‘’You’re right. I am reckless and this whole thing is crazy.’’

I tried to turn against him, tried to stop this whole vocal declaration but it went to vain, I couldn’t budge. Had his muscles grown in 6 months? Can muscles grow that fast? How does he know what I was thinking about? I took to curling into the pillows and his hand stretched out to touch under the swell of my breast. My breath hitched as he moved, gentle and slow as if he were coaxing me out of my doubts.

‘’I shouldn’t be here. In bed with you, it makes no sense. I swore I would walk away. It was the right thing to do. You were miserable. It hurt.’’ His voice rose an octave has he spoke, words almost trembling.

‘’But I am selfish and clueless and there is nowhere else I would rather be than right here.’’

‘’that’s a terrible combination.’’ I said, rubbing my thumb over his calloused fingers.

Perhaps it didn’t make any sense. Perhaps it didn’t need to. Why he was here and what we had been thinking all those months ago on that stormy night. I didn’t actually remember a word he had said. What was that fight about? I didn’t know. It hadn’t mattered then and it doesn’t matter now. But this, my heart that was finally beating again.

This felt like it mattered. Yoongi and his citrusy smell that came back to fill the room, the damp hair and his warm skin scorching my own under the thin cream covers. His legs tangled with mine as he spoke. This moment right here, this feeling, this would never be replaced.

‘’it’s a good thing I am both of those things too.’’ I whispered into his arm, wrapping my hands around its width and pulling it towards me. He curled into my form and relaxed, his muscles loosening as he did.

Nothing more had been said that night, as it seemed no words were needed, we fell further into sleep and into each other as the skies broke and rain thrashed against the windows, the violent streaks of lightening falling against our cuddled limbs, playing against the exposed skin as it did with the thunder of the storm.

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