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terror-slut · 8 months
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I just want to know, have you abandoned this blog? I miss you 😔
Hii! It’s not quite abandoned as I still regularly use this account to read, but I rarely have the time/energy to write anymore :( but never say never, I might return to writing one day!
I’m planning on rewatching Stranger Things soon and I’d love to pick up my Vecna fic <3
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terror-slut · 1 year
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I post for the girls who make very bad first impressions, girls that can’t maintain eye contact, girls that are severely incapable of making conversation, and girls that never think before they speak.
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Most people are so ungrateful to be alive. But not you. Not anymore.
SAW (2004) DIR. JAMES WAN
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Change of Heart
Chapter 07/?? Click HERE for this fics masterlist!
Reader is a troubled pediatrician at Hawkins lab when she crosses paths with this lovely orderly. Nothing will stand between Peter and his revenge. Not even really pretty distractions.
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Pairing: Peter Ballard x f!reader
Word count: 2149
Ratings & warnings: SPOILERS, period typical sexism, violence, blood, torture, NSFW, swearing, no (Y/N), no described defining features for reader. Ratings may change as chapters are being added.
A/N: and when I felt like I was an old cardigan… you put me on and said I was your favourite.
Strolls in 1,5 month late, who’s surprised… Not that it’s an excuse but I got a promotion at work, got covid and Sumeru came out so I was a little distracted 😭 dottore anyone???
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Careful knocks rap against the white door of Dr. Brenner’s office. Without bothering to look up from the pile of paperwork in front of him, he gives a low hum that grants the unseen person behind the door permission to enter. With a soft click, the door opens.
“You wanted to see me, Martin?”
“Yes, Doctor. Come on in,” he says, re-capping the fountain pen that delicately rests between his fingers before he lazily gestures to an empty chair across from him.
The pediatrician sends her superior a tight lipped smile as she takes her seat. Dark circles have appeared underneath her eyes again, just like they had a few weeks prior. Dr. Brenner decides against commenting on her exhausted appearance, figuring there is nothing to be gained by doing so. If she wishes to share her troubles, he knows she will do so out of her own volition.
“So,” he begins. “How are the children?”
The question that leaves his lips is not the question she anticipated he’d ask, and her tense shoulders slightly lower, in sync with her guard. What she had expected instead were questions about Henry, perhaps followed by a scolding on her inability to deliver. Instead, Dr. Brenner seems occupied with his test subjects. Thankfully, her results on that front are a far cry from the lack luster results Henry has provided her with.
“They’re quite well. 002 seems to grow stronger by the day and little 011 is making great progress in regards to opening up and accepting her powers,” the pediatrician eagerly replies, happy to have her mind taken off of Peter for just a moment.
Dr. Brenner hums in approval, his blue eyes intently focused on her own. It takes her a lot not to squirm under the intensity of his gaze. If it wasn’t for a good dose of common sense, she’d think Brenner could read her mind.
“I think 011 could benefit from a little more one on one counseling. She seems to trust you a great deal,” the pediatrician rambles on.
“Yes, I think you’re right. Building a parent-child relationship pays off just as I expected it would,” he replies, more so speaking to himself than to her, but as she has previously read his notes on Henry, it’s not difficult to figure out that he is speaking of his trial of errors from before. Unsure of what to say next, she stays silent.
Not much at all had changed with Peter. After their initial talk where he so carelessly cut off the ties between the two of them, she hasn’t had the guts to talk to him again, afraid of the cruelty that might leave his mouth next.
His words, his lies, still echo around her mind as she mulls them over time and time again. “Don’t take it personally, doctor. I simply prefer to keep my personal life separated from my work and vice versa.”
His personal life, she thinks, and resists the urge to scoff. Such an obvious lie, yet she couldn’t call him out on it without exposing her own muddled truth, much like a biologically faulty spider trapped within its own sticky web.
Since that faithful morning where Peter claimed they were simply just co-workers and he was only being friendly with her, that friendliness has dissipated into nothingness. The pediatrician is quite certain the tall blonde is avoiding her at all costs, and speaking to her seems completely out of the question for him.
Her mood swings between annoyance and desperation. She wants his friendship back, the attentiveness he treated her with those first six months. She wants him back. But above all, the pediatrician still wants to help him. Her anger disappears like snow on a sunny day whenever she gets reminded of the boy behind the now fully grown man. Whatever his reasoning is for locking her out of his life, her determination has far from watered down.
Empathy mingled with sympathy washes over her in quiet waves when she thinks of the pictures of young Henry Dr. Brenner has shown her once, back when he still had a family, back when he was still allowed to go outside. What would he look like now if nature regularly embraced him? Hair bleached by the sun, his skin warm and tan… She can picture it perfectly, with herself by his side in the prettiest sundress, happy. Normal…
“And Peter?” The sudden deep voice startles her out of her daydreams, Brenner’s icy gaze coldly assessing her.
“W-what?” She asks brainlessly before quickly pulling herself together. “What about Peter?”
“Let me be frank,” he says, placing his folded hands on the desk between them. She knows those words can’t mean anything good. “You haven’t turned in any progress reports for weeks now.*”
The silence that follows is thick with an uncomfortable tension. She can think of a million lies to tell her boss but she ends up settling for a half truth.
“It takes some time. He’s a complicated man. I don’t want to overwhelm him,” she answers. It only takes a second for Dr. Brenner’s expression to sour, far from satisfied with her answer.
“I hired you because you promised to deliver,” he speaks, his tone soft but his words harsh.
“I know,” she agrees meekly.
“If you fail to deliver, I can no longer justify your paycheck to the board,” he says as she worries her lip between her teeth.
“I understand, Sir,” she replies, although she really wants to throw the fact that he has had years to work with Henry, and still left empty handed in his face.
His expression softens when his gaze falls on her worried face and he reaches out to put his warm hand over her own.
“I know you can do it, doctor,” he says, and gives her hand a little squeeze. “And I know it takes time, but the board wants to see results. Just hand in a report with what you’ve been doing, I’m sure they’ll lighten up.”
Dr. Brenner pulls back from her and straightens his back while he sends her a kind smile, the one she knows he uses on the kids, too. With some difficulty, she suppresses a shiver.
“I’ll start right away,” she says, standing up from her seat. “Thank you for your advice, sir.”
“You’re very welcome,” he replies, a toothy smile plastered on his face. The pediatrician can’t help but compare him to a wolf in sheep’s clothing. “Oh, and please send the next one in on your way out, Doctor.”
“Will do,” she answers absentmindedly, already drafting up the report the board so desperately wants in her head. Can they not understand that she has more to do than just Henry? That he is complicated, and she doesn’t want to rush him when she knows, they all know, he can react unpredictably.
With a scoff, she closes the door to Martin’s office behind her. Business has no place in medicine, she thinks to herself for the umpteenth time since the start of her career.
Sunken so deep in her own thoughts, she doesn’t see the white figure in front of her until she collides with the hard planes of a firm chest.
“Oh, apologies! I was just-“ words escape her when it’s Peter’s blonde hair that comes into view. He looks as disoriented as she feels when he softly grabs her shoulders to create some distance between them, while simultaneously stabilizing her.
“Just what?” He repeats, and those are the first words he’s spoken to her in weeks.
“… Just thinking,” she finishes, though the warmth of his hands on her shoulders makes it hard for her to focus on anything else. What would it be like to feel his hands elsewhere? If only they would slide past her shoulders, down her arms to her waist and grab her there, pull her closer to him… She blushes at the thought. Now is not the time, she reminds herself.
“Don’t think too hard,” he says. “You might hurt yourself.”
Though he could be making a dig at her, his soft, full lips are curled into a smile. Relieved, she lets out a laugh.
“Thanks for the warning,” she smiles. With some difficulty, he responds with a smile of his own. God, she’s so beautiful.
Though her mind feels fuzzy and her heart seems to beat out of her chest, it only takes a second of clarity for her to wonder why exactly he’s on this side of Hawkins Laboratory.
“No orderly duties for today?” She asks, her curiosity overtaking the urge to take in his beauty for as long as he’d let her.
“Oh, no,” it’s only then that he lets go of her shoulders, and the sudden lack of warmth that his hands had created makes her shiver. “Not for another hour. Dr. Brenner has requested to see me.”
The subtle shiver from earlier quickly merges into a cold chill all over her body. The pediatrician doesn’t know what to think of this newfound information, but she knows it can’t be anything good. Regardless, she sends him a kind smile.
“Oh?” She asks casually, letting curiosity win once again. “What for?”
“I suspect it’s just a performance review,” he replies, taking a step back from her to create some distance.
Stay in control, Henry.
“Well, good luck then, Peter. I’m sure there is no reason to worry,” she says with a soft smile. Her heartbeat increases when he returns hers with one of his own. Oh God, how she has missed his movie star smiles, his presence, his voice…
“I’m sure,” he repeats, and when he steps past her, his shoulder brushes softly against her own and with great difficulty, she suppresses the urge to grab his hand.
“Have a good one,” she says instead, and instantly regrets her own stupid stiffness.
For his part, Henry lets her words bounce off of the shielded walls he has put up for when she happens to be around, something he seems to have a sixth sense for. Even when she doesn’t notice him, he always sees her. It seems the more he tries to avoid her, the more she appears around him.
With a fast rap, he knocks on Brenner’s office door. The white haired man grants him permission to enter and in turn, Peter makes his way into the bleak room, shaking all thoughts of the pediatrician.
“Please, take a seat, 001,” Brenner says, but Peter shakes his head.
“I’m fine where I am,” he states, refusing to be in a position where he can’t easily get away should it come to that.
“I won’t hurt you, 001. You know me better than that,” despite his friendly demeanor, Peter has learned his lesson a long time ago. Have your guard up at all time. His kindness is a trap.
“Suit yourself,” Martin says when Peter’s silence stretches out. “I’ve requested you here to ask how you’ve been, 001.”
His muscles involuntarily tense up as a chill spreads across his back at Brenner’s unassuming question.
“I haven’t done anything wrong,” Peter replies. The fear that freezes up his entire body is nothing new to him or the little boy he once was. That same question is usually followed by physical pain that would haunt him for days to come, no matter how carefully he chooses his response.
“Oh, not to worry 001. If you had, I would have known about it long before asking you about it,” the older man says, a smile fitting for a man like him on his lips. Peter doesn’t dare exhale the breath he holds.
“No, that’s not what I’m asking you,” Dr. Brenner says, when Peter stays silent. He crosses his arms as the silence protrudes. “Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary?”
Peter briefly wonders if the white haired man means to trick him with this question. Memories of the past few weeks replay before his eyes, but he shakes his head in denial.
“Hmm,” Brenner lets out while uncrossing his arms and standing up. In a relaxed pace, he inches closer to the tall, young man standing in his office. “You ought to be more perceptive, 001. I know you have it in you.”
Their gazes connect starkly for a moment, before Brenner reluctantly takes a step away from the younger man.
“You can go,” with a ninety degree turn, he dismisses Peter, who in turn can’t seem to leave the frigid office fast enough. His heart beats wildly in his throat when he exhales several shaky breaths, Brenner’s words replaying in his head over and over.
The old man has his ways to drive Peter crazy, torture him psychologically as well as physically. He never knows what part of what Martin tells him he can believe, but Peter knows one thing.
He was alluding to the pediatrician.
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A/N: I just realized the reason I hate my own writing is because it’s too academic? Also Brenner is a meddling mfer…
* this is a subtle dig at my own shitty update progress LMAOO I’m a little funny
Want to be added/removed from the taglist? Don’t be shy, let me know!
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terror-slut · 2 years
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I caught covid fuck me :/
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Elvis Behind the scenes
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Saw Elvis (2022) yesterday and it was sooo good.
Despite the production’s obvious indifference for the colonel to actually have a Dutch accent, Tom Hanks still delivered as he always does. Austin Butler’s acting has risen above my expectations and I truly believe he can do magnificent things.
Our very own Dacre Montgomery was in it too! Despite having little screen time, he stood his ground and delivered something memorable.
Regarding Olivia DeJonge’s performance, I already knew she had a bright future ahead of her when I first saw her in The Visit (2015) and later in Netflix’s The Society (2019.) I loved seeing her performance as Priscilla Presley and I can’t wait to see more of her in the future.
I know movie goers aren’t the biggest fans of long films anymore, but I thought this was a well paced film despite it’s running time.
This is a whirlwind of a film, in the best possible way. It pulls you into it’s organized chaos that Elvis must have felt himself with his quick rise to fame. A film that the makers enjoyed making, and this translates well to the screen. A movie that makes you laugh, feel and cry, if you let it. I’m planning on seeing it again soon. I really loved it.
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Hello! You've still got me. I'll always await your works patiently. Art is a time consuming thing and I can understand wanting it too be good. Take your time, I could wait years and still find interest. And yes schedules are busy... Oooh boy this one is tired, but I want to say to you and any writers, you make a long day worth going through. Because I really enjoy re-reading and catching up. So thank you again and thanks for entertaining my thoughts always!
Whaaa you’re the best!! I’m 1700 words into the next chapter so we’re close to an update at last lol :)
I hope you’re okay Pechvogal, and don’t forget to take care of yourself!!🥺
Thank you <3
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Hey, who’s that in your profile pic?
Hii, it’s Hamish Linklater as Father Paul Hill from the mini series Midnight Mass. It’s sooo good, I definitely recommend checking it out :)
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Buzzcut Season by Lorde is Willard Russell’s song.
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Hellloooo. Tis I, returned from slumber.
I've internally screamed and oh my, that familar feeling. Yeah the recent chapter hit me. I know the rejecting scene, and ooo boy I felt it. Haha. But yes I feel this is a .... thing. I'll be honest my initial thoughts were let's see how this goes after he let's off steam. Oooo it's cold, and now I'm determined. But anyways, my compliments to the chef 👌(mwah). Your fics always leave me wanting more. I'm excited to see where it goes. And honestly let me say how much I appreciate you because I love multi chapter fics, I love to see character relationships build. Don't get me wrong, one shots are good. But I want to understand and go through the complications. Well again I appreciate you and thank you for always reading my comments and responding, makes my day. Hope your doing well and I look forward to your next chapter. Take it easy dear!
Hi my sweetest <3
I haven’t been on for a couple of weeks, hence why I haven’t responded sooner. I hope I haven’t lost you in the process!
The scene where Peter rejects the pediatrician was quite hard to write for me because I hate getting rejected and I hated rejecting someone so it was a bit of a struggle. But I’m glad it came across the way I wanted!
I love multi chapter fics too because the build up is just. Delicious!!!! Thank you for always letting me know your thoughts, as always it means a lot.
Next chapter coming soon, it’s in the works! I think I might give up on updating weekly as I just can’t seem to do it??? And I don’t want to disappoint people who are waiting but I also am scared I might lose readers if I take too long. So… struggles once again. Hope you stick around Pechvogal !! <3
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Can’t wait for the change of heart update, so excited
It’s in the works, I’ve just been ??? fucking off the rails lately ig but it’s coming ASAP!!!
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terror-slut · 2 years
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I originally planned on naming Change of Heart “Moth meets Flame” but eventually decided it was slightly overused. In hindsight it is a better title though, I just didn’t anticipate that anyone would like it so I went with Change of Heart instead, after the song by the 1975 :)
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terror-slut · 2 years
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Men are average and then they grow a beard and get scruffy hair and I’m head over heels
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terror-slut · 2 years
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btw guys for some stupid reason Tumblr won’t let me tag some people even when their user is completely correct. Does anyone know what I can do to fix it?
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terror-slut · 2 years
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i just wanted to tell you that your “change of heart” series has literally blown. my. mind. the way you write peter/henry/001 is just AMAZING. i am officially obsessed w this series. i commented on ch 6 of the series, but i’m asking again pls pls pls add me to the tag list for it, literally the only blog i’ve ever asked for tag lists on posts. turning your notifs on too. love your work!!!
Thats so sweet of you to say 🥺 icb people actually enjoy my story which probably sounds stupid but a bitch has low self esteem… (I’m a bitch) I do enjoy writing it so much so I’m glad the internet exists so I can share it with everyone who’s interested enough hehe 🫶
I appreciate you my friend! I will of course add you to the tag list and I hope you’ll like the direction the future chapters will take 🤍
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terror-slut · 2 years
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“Can’t Help Myself” by Alexandra Savior really reminds me of your Peter Ballard fic
Just listened to it and added it to the playlist! I just loveee the sound of her voice it’s so pretty and dreamy <3
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