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lemmetreatya · 1 year

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In Words I struggle to Express — Bassists!Onyankopon x Singer!fem Reader

➡️ synopsis: the launch party went absolutely great and the after partys going to be even better! but somehow, it was a certain someone’s presence you were banking on in order for the night to truly be a success.

➡️ word count: 2.3k

➡️ content: no warnings

➡️ author’s note: fuck. okay. this is…very very self indulgent and basically based off our silly little mmbcu (dont ask) so ive tried to take out all the stuff that needs context so everyone can read it without too much issue. however for clarities sake: reader is in a girl group (called MMB) whilst reiner (drummer), zeke (vocalist), jean (vocals/guitar) and onyankopon (bassist) are in a band. at this point of time, Ony and reader aren’t in an established relationship.

if anything, id like to thank @pisspope for coming up with this specific idea earlier this week. i hope you know it’s rotted my brain ever since. thanks.

It was a success.

After months of constant tweaking, track ditching, debating lineups and self-doubt in your artistry — at final last: You had performed your album in full for your ceiling-packed launch party of family, friends and industry names alike.

Despite the shortcomings that came along with it, you hope the album lands well as it goes public tomorrow. Your band members have done their best in assuring you of it’s legendary status (“It literally serves cunt, you’ll be fine.”) and so there was only room for you to have faith that it’d do numbers — even if it was a diversion from your usual group's musical sound.

But even now, as the dregs of adrenaline still coarse through your veins, it’s just you left alone in the green room. You were only in the process of changing outfits, silk pink gown snuggly sat on your frame, but it was the creepinks of wallowing unfulfillment that somehow found its way into your heart.

Your band members and their other halves have graciously said that they’d set forwards on to the afterparty. Something about being ready to welcome you when you eventually do enter the venue where the after party was being held. You were okay with that — and thankful that they were thinking of you in that regard — but since it now left you alone with your own thoughts and own reflection in the mirror, you could feel your performing high start to come down and realisation kick in. That ultimately, despite the many wins you’ve received tonight, you were still alone.

“Can I come in?”

Rather than it being the knock, it was the steady voice you were oh so used to that reeled you out of your trance, your eyes finally locking back into focus. As you turn your head away from your reflection and into his direction, you could automatically feel your heart pick up pace.

“Well, doors open and you’re already halfway in so…”

A breathy excuse of a laugh leaves your throat — a sorry attempt at making yourself seem more pious for him than you actually were — but it was absolutely no help at all. Within his presence, you only ever felt more anxious than you should.

Onyankopon tries his best to force a laugh back but it doesn’t translate well. It seemed pained, even more forced than yours, and so you had to avert your eyes — Save yourself from reading into something you didn’t want to.

You had to do that more for you than for him anyways. Because it’s been iffy with Onyankopon these past few months and with how he’s been treating you.

Not that you were complaining; He was a man who treated you to nice things and valued your opinion. A man who understood when you needed to be handled or when you could handle your own. A man who also understood your craft and was more than happy to aid his own. It was all well and good between the both of you and he was a gentleman wrapped in one. Only issue is that Onyankopon has never clarified what the fuck you two were.

Which, in itself, was off-putting. But concerning he had so much creative process on your album? (Actually, most of his band did, but since you possibly liked him just a tad bit better, his efforts were well more noticed) And considering you had to stick so many unsolicited hard hours alongside him? And keeping in mind how you were practically eye fucking him from the stage half the time you were performing your album — the sultry songs all directed at him?! You figured he’d somehow get the hint that you were open, willing, waiting for him to make a move.

As he cautiously took further steps into the room, you wonder if your requested audience would result in pushing him to make that move.

“I won’t take up too much of your time.” He hums with one arm suspiciously behind his back.

He attempts to clear his throat yet he’s unable to do so the first time. It takes him several goes, a cough and a bat at his chest, before he’s able to achieve his goal. By now he just feels stupid, fumbling something as simple as this in front of you but he chooses to champion on.

You however, can’t help but find it endearing.

“No, you’re good. Still got a few minutes till we’re heading to the Ritz for the after party.”

You turn around in your chair, silk gown that crosses over the intersection of your chest one tug away from being labelled ‘provocative’. Unintentionally, but definitely welcomed.

“You coming, right?”

And you know you’ve tempted him — far more than you should be — because Onyankopon’s eyes automatically wander to the exposed skin of your chest. Stare locked on for several seconds before he’s forced to recognise his error and flick his eyes back up to meet yours.

“I…not this time.” He clears his throat again. “Which is mainly why I wanted to come see you now since I won’t see you after this.”

“Oh…”

You try your best not to look disappointed; for your shoulders not to sag and your bottom lip to stay free of being snagged between your teeth but it’s inevitable to stop the way your heart sinks halfway down your chest and your gut wretches inwards.

Right, of course. He was a busy man.

In your head, you know he probably had good reason to skip out on this big night of yours, but you can’t help the small teasing voice that reminds you that every one of his bandmates found a way to clear their schedules in order to make the party tonight. Everyone but him.

Subconsciously you tug the material of your gown over your chest.

“Maybe next time then.” You feign. Suddenly you don’t feel enthusiastic for your own event.

Onyankopon knows he’s fucked up your mood and he’s mentally kicking himself for doing so. Personally, he wasn’t going to say anything— just not show up and let you enjoy your time without him. But it’s Reiner, the drummer of their band, who nudged him to at least apologise for not coming.

Actually, Reiner nudged him to say a lot more than just his apologies for not being able to make the after party. He had berated Onyankopon in wisdolic manner about asking you out properly as opposed to keeping you exclusively on his arm. A proverb about ‘hope deferred making the heart sick’, “And you don’t want her to be sick because of you, do you?” He warned.

In all honesty, he didn’t hate what Reiner was saying. He really did want to make a move on you! And he genuinely had the intention to as well. He also thought it’d be ideal to ask you out considering he was very much planning on taking you to go meet his parents soon but…

It just wasn’t the right time.

“It’s never the right time, is it?” Says a more nihilistic voice in his head, but he ignores it for sanity’s sake.

Onyankopon shuffles his footing.

“I’m sorry. Something really important popped up and you know I’d usually be there and…Look, I just wanted to come see you and mention you were really great out there. I know we, well, more you, worked really hard on this album and all but I genuinely just want to say that I’m really, really, proud of you.”

There’s a twitch of recognition on your face but the man’s rambled words did nothing to lighten your mood. You only turn your head back to your reflection in the mirror.

“Thank you, Onyankpon.”

Okay, you’re using his full name. That’s how he knows you’re upset at him.

Now he’s regretting even coming here. Onyankopon doesn’t want to go round blaming Reiner for your lack of reaction to him but deep down, he knows that’s all him. He knows that either way, mentioned or not, his absence would have upset you. He doesn’t want to now give you even more reason to be upset so he guesses he should start wrapping this up.

“Congratulations on the album launch. That was the main thing I wanted to say. I should have started with that first…”

With an outstretched arm from behind his back, Onyankopon offers you a box of luxury chocolates and a freshly picked bouquet he could fit all in one hand. In all honesty, he would have definitely gotten you something bigger, better than you could have ever imagined!

But, he just didn’t have the time.

“You never have the time—“ “Shut up. I know.” The voice in his head is cut short.

However, contrary to the heart felt gift, it seems your attention can no longer be brought. Despite his presentation, your expression is fixed and occupied on your reflection. Onyankopon suddenly wonders whether you were always this down when he wasn’t around.

You sniff once but not because any tears were about to grace your face.

“Thanks.” You say without looking back at him. “You can put ‘em over there with the others.”

Onyankopon’s gaze follows where your eye line draws to within the mirror.

Sure enough, towards the side of the room there's a table where a mountain of gifts, flowers and congratulatory efforts lay. Onyankopon takes two steps towards it before sheepishly laying down his now rather measly looking present within the only sliver of table available.

If he didn’t feel so out of depth with you, he would have dryly laughed at how low effort his offering was in contrast to Jean’s, his band’s guitarist.

As he could see, the man had brought you an expensive bag bouquet — a gift extravagant enough to take up half the wall behind it. There was even a large bottle of champagne and a D’usse that tagged along with it and a card that had your stage name curved in beautiful calligraphy.

You and Jean didn’t share a relationship anywhere as near as efficient as you and Onyankopon’s to warrant this type of gift, but he guesses his bandmate took great pride in the help he had on your album. Onyankopon even feels a sense of irate jealousy as he remembers how the two of you danced back-to-back on stage as Jean played his guitar solo during your final song.

His throat runs dry at memory recall of the performative sight. Surely, all of that was to provoke him.

“Sorry.” You suddenly blurt out and Onyankopon’s attention is instantly brought back to you — the physical you.

“I kinda need to get ready now. Vans almost in front.” You drastically avoid his eye contact. “If I could just have these last few minutes alone that’d be great.”

With your last sentence mumbled and your hands playing at your gown, he knows you’re not telling the whole truth but he was honestly out of his depth here. All Onyankopon could do was fulfil your wishes.

“O-oh! Oh, sure! Sure, yeah I’ll let you…I’ll let you get to it.”

With almost bashful demeanour, Onyankopon backs away from the table and makes a beeline towards the door.

But it feels wrong. It feels incomplete.

It’s not like he wanted to force himself against your boundaries but he just knows that if he leaves now without saying anything — he might just wound your ebbing relationship beyond repair.

In some sort of divine intervention, Reiner’s words about not being the ‘hope deferred’ that resulted in making you sick, kicked in. As soon as the phrase comes to him, a looped smile starts to grow onto his face.

“Now's the time!” His inner head voice says and for once, he lets it speak.

Stopping in his tracks, Onyankopon mentally gears his courage up before turning on his heels and blurting out the first thing that came up his throat.

“Hey, uh…look, I really do feel bad about not being able to make tonight. I wanna make it up to you so how’s your availability for the day after tomorrow?”

You’re surprised by his offer but you don’t wholly show it. It’s the way you pretend that his preposition didn’t excite you that made Onyankopon want to burst out in laughter. You were so cute when you were trying to be aloof.

“Depends.” You shrug as your eyes actively avoid his. “I have an early morning promo interview for the album and my evenings fully booked.”

Onyankopon enthusiastically nods.

It made sense you were busy concerning the work needed to be done for your album drop but Onyankopon was determined. Onyankopon wanted to make this work!

“Okay, that’s fine. How’s lunch time for you?”

There is a look of ponder on your face and a sparkle in your eye. You roll your lips in contemplation before quote mark nonchalantly, shrugging your shoulders.

“Relatively free.” You quip.

Yes!

“Great! Leave it open for me. I’ll take you out on a date.”

Onyankopon is pumped enough that he’s already heading out the green room and so you get up from your chair to shout after him.

“Wait— Ony, to where?”

The man turns round to face you, a ghost of a smile gracing his lips. Not the most infectious smile but it’s his and so automatically, you’re drawn to it.

“Don’t worry about that. Just dress comfortably. I’ll pick you up from whatever studio you’re recording at.” He says before making his way out.

With a huff of disbelief, you sag back down into the chair.

It wasn’t unbelievable that within the spur of the moment, Onyankopon had thought up a date to take you to. He was like that — It was kinda his thing — but there was something about this particular mystery date that you found yourself looking forward to.

The same smile from before grew larger on your face and your reflection in the mirror relayed the same message.

Suddenly, you didn’t feel so down anymore.

#don’t expect anyone to read this but i feel it was too indulgent for the gc 😭😭#onyankopon aot #onyankopon x reader #onyankopon x black reader #onyankopon #attack on titan #aot #aot x black reader #aot x reader

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delu-jean · 3 years

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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

(Jean x fem!/reader) -> Angst -> 4.7k

Notes: Sorry for updating a lot later than expected! Here’s chapter eleven, and twelve will be out as soon as I write it. Hope you enjoy!

Ⅹ > Ⅻ

During the night, you had no dreams or nightmares. It was simply peaceful, calming, and warm. Having him beside you (though he was on the floor) gave you the utmost comfort. He was really here with you, resting to the side, while you did the same. Such a feeling that was yearned for, had finally found its way back to you. The first night in what seemed like forever where you actually slept through calmly.

You woke up the next day to see the sun peer in. Through the crack of your blinds, highlighting the walls of your cozy room. The birds, though silent, remained present as the wind rustled quietly. Jean lay on the floor. His hand still clung onto yours from the night before. His grip felt secure and gentle when holding yours. His hair laced over the pillows, as his body was barely covered by the sheets. Only now did you realize how much of a mover he was. Though that was the case, he still miraculously held you through the night. Without causing any discomfort whatsoever.

You wanted to sit in this moment for a tad longer, but knew you would have to ready you both for the day ahead. You tried to slip out of his hand, but to your failed attempt, he gripped even tighter. He really wasn’t going to make this easy. You tried yet again, using your other hand to assist. Regardless, his one hand and few fingers kept you grounded. You thought that was the end of things, but he then pulled you in. Locking you in a tight embrace. You shook your head, both flustered and disappointed. You needed to get away from him, yet here he was, keeping you captive.

“Jean...Jean I need to get up-”

“Not again...no...never,” he mumbled.

It seemed as if he was sleep talking. If he was conscious, he probably would’ve laughed at you by now. You were sad to hear such words. He had gone through so much trauma to the point he couldn’t let go of you.

“I’m not leaving...not yet at least...so Jean, don’t worry and please let me go,” you cupped his cheek as it sank into your touch. His head now leaning towards you, and his face at a closer range. Smiling at the reaction, you then heard a knock coming from outside.

“Hm...I have to go now,” he seemed less tense than earlier. It must’ve been because of your words since he actually let you go. You got up, put yourself in a cardigan, and quickly tied your hair. Maybe this time it was actually Reiner, for goodness sake you would now need to leave a candle there. Just in case next time, it’s a crazy psycho and not Jean.

You opened the door, ready to attack if it was anyone threatening. Though hesitant, you let your guard down, opening the door even wider.

“Ah Y/n! Long time no see,” you stared at the woman, flowers in one hand, while treats in the other.

“Alexandra, what are you doing here?” you smiled shocked.

Alexandra was also a person from the military. An Eldian soldier who commanded her own squad. Though your rank was a tad higher than her’s, she was never too far from you. You both conversed here and there. Though you weren’t as close to her as you were with the warrior unit, you were both mutually acquainted. Enjoying each other’s company from time to time.

“I just came to drop by. If you’re busy, I can come sometime later today,” you didn’t want to be rude and reject her. Even though Jean was over, you assumed that if he had heard someone else (other than you) in the house, that he would keep quiet.

“No no no, I insist. Come in, I’m free,” you led her inside for her to then place the gifts on the table. Now that you thought about it, this was the second time she had been to your house. That being said, you were surprised she still had this place memorized. Not only that, but you were surprised she had come out of the blue. Did she have something important to share, what drove her to come?

“Curious are we?” she laughed as your eyes widened, embarrassed.

“Of course not-”

“Haha, you’re not a very good liar Y/n~”

“I guess you’re right about that,” you grinned as you started to prepare tea. She was just such a lady, and plus, tea complimented any situation. So why not make some now?

“Hm lovely. Earl Grey if I’m correct?”

“Haha, yes you are,” you then placed a cup down. Pouring the tea as she patiently waited. Crossing her legs and setting the treats she brought across the table.

“I’m sorry I’ve come so early in the morning, it’s just that my squad is going to be shipped out sometime tomorrow...so I wanted to say my goodbyes before then.”

“What do you mean? I know you’ll come back,” you smiled as she followed hesitantly.

“Yeah...of course I will,” you then set the teapot down, as she took a sip.

“Hey so...I heard that someone might be getting married,” you start to drink your tea, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Who?”

“Who else but you,” you choked on the beverage, wondering as to how she would know such a thing. You then tried to play things cool, hoping the subject would slowly avert.

“I’m still not understanding?-”

“You and Reiner silly. It’s been going around everywhere...didn’t you know?”

“No...I...I didn’t know that others knew?...”

“Ahh I see. Well, from what I know, the town seems content with such a proposal. The ladies have been talking about what kind of future you both might have, even with the limited time. Not only that, but Reiner’s mother seems ecstatic with both the arrangements, and attention being given,” you then bite down on your tongue. Never would you have thought things would escalate so quickly. Rumors that weren’t even confirmed, yet spread like wildfire. She then placed her cup down, grabbing one of the deserts to munch, and then covered her mouth. She spoke, trying to keep her manners while also enjoying the treat.

“So, have you prepared a wedding dress, did he give you a ring yet, or are you both going to wait for the day of?”

“No...I haven’t been given a ring, nor have I gotten anything.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah…”

“Hm...well okay. Let me ask you a different question.”

“Of course, whenever you’re ready,” she then finished, and took a sip. Eyeing you as you sat uncomfortable, not sure what her next approach would be.

“You do like him, don’t you?”

“Um...well...I...I would say-”

“You know, I’ve always thought the both of you were...how do I say it, cute. Very cute actually.”

“I’m sorry, what?” you laughed a little, thinking she was being sarcastic. Whereas she was being quite serious.

“You two have always seemed so close. You both respect each other, take the time to have one on ones, you also put in the effort to see each other’s families, and just...so much more. You’ve always seemed like a couple, or, couple goals to say the least. Not only that, but you seem to genuinely care for each other. You give words of affirmation, and he gives you acts of genuine affection.”

“How would you know such a thing?” your brow cocked as she sighed.

“My dear, it’s called observation. Speaking of observing, you can’t deny that Reiner is very attractive.”

“I-”

“I mean, he’s a total catch. He’s a very good looking gentleman. One that actually takes care of his hygiene. He’s presentable most of the time, and treats you like the lady you are. Giving you the respect which you deserve. Very attractive in my opinion. Chivalrous, yet understanding of a lady’s worth.”

“I agree with that,” though your feelings for Reiner were platonic, what she stated was...somewhat true. Just disclude the whole “wanting to kill you,” along with the “using you as a way to cope,” and vice versa.

“So you do like him?” she asked as you sat there, not sure about what your response would be.

“Well…” a question then sprung in your head. You put your cup down, to then eye her yourself as she locked her gaze. Awaiting for whatever your answer would be.

“Alexandra what if...what if there was someone else?”

“Someone better looking than Reiner?”

“I...I guess so,” you chuckled as she stared at you in shock.

“No way...did you get with Porco? Wow...you surprise me the more I get to know you-”

“Wait a minute, you think Porco is more charming than Reiner?” You cut her midway through, baffled to say the least. Now you were the person in shock as she smiled cockishly. Proud of such a statement.

“Well...yes...yes I do,” she said shamelessly as you now laughed.

“Wait, but why? I’m genuinely curious,” you said, obviously having a different opinion.

“First of all, his undercut is both sharp and clean. Not only that, but the dirty blonde really suits him. His build is nice, along with the fashion he portrays. Though not too out of the ordinary, you can tell he puts in the effort to look his best.

The energy he gives off is adventurous, dark, and mysterious, you know? But at the same time, he also seems like a gentleman. One who’s misunderstood, yet has a soft interior. His eyes seem to hide an excruciating pain, yet his smile is one full of brightness, and laughter,” you were surprised about how philosophical, and passionate she was when describing Porco...Porco of all people. No offense to him, but you would never see him in such light.

Regardless, she seemed proud to say such a statement, as she then asked you:

“And you? Just what about Reiner intrigues you? I understand for some reasons, but more than Porco?” you nodded to then state:

“I can’t guarantee my description will be a full fledged english essay. But oh well, here it goes,” she listened intrigued, ready to hear your rebuttal.

“Well, he does have a beard. Though Zeke’s is fuller, Reiner’s compliments his face structure. He has a very um...broad build, the blonde suits him well, and over all, is a very sweet person. Compared to Porco, I would say he has a much more timid nature. Don’t get me wrong, he can speak his mind, but is a little more sensitive when doing so. That being the case, I feel as if he’s more relatable. Though, I may be saying this because I’ve known him for longer, outside of Marely of course, I just think he’s the better option-”

“The better option, so he is an option. Meaning that you feel attracted to him. Leading to the conclusion that you like him,” she grinned maliciously as you panicked.

“Um well...I wouldn’t say that…”

“Interesting...but my point still stands haha. If you ever need someone to help you prepare for the occasion...if I come back...I’ll be sure to aid you.”

“Of course,” she then stood up, placing the flowers in a vase. Grabbing her bag, her coat, her hat, standing before you.

“But before I go, just who is this other person?...Are you really seeing someone?”

“I…” you weren’t sure what to say to her, as the hesitation rang in your voice.

“No...I just wanted to know what your thoughts would be,” You know you should have told her yes, but you just couldn’t. You didn’t want to add any more fuel to the fire, and if you couldn’t even tell the warriors, telling someone else shouldn’t have been an option.

“I see, well...farewell Y/n. Let us meet again, and if not here...somewhere else…”

“Yes, of course,” you smiled happily as the door then shut.

You were glad that one, she came to visit you, and two, that things were now over. You sat in your seat, stretching out your arms to hear another knock. Except this time, it was coming from behind you. Your head then flung backwards, your smile growing even wider as your chair tilted.

“Good morning handsome~”

“Good morning beautiful, how are you?”

“Greater than ever, how about you? Did you sleep well?”

“Magnificent. Also yeah, I did sleep well...surprisingly,” you both laughed a little, as you then got up, placing breakfast for the both of you. Though a little full from the meeting before, you still wanted to enjoy a meal with Jean. After all, it had been so long since the last time you did. And plus, that was during your time as a cadet. You weren’t able to enjoy such a feast in the morning.

You both ate in silence. Both of you trying to enjoy the food, and each other’s company. Letting the peace around settle in. Once you had finished both eating, and cleaning up after yourselves, you then decided to speak, asking:

“Did you hear the conversation I had earlier? I’m assuming you probably woke up because of it,” you didn’t ask how much he heard. You instead wanted to see how much he did hear from the man himself. He put the cloth he was holding down. Similar to you, he wanted to see if you’d tell him anything from the conversation. So he asked:

“Was there anything important I should be informed about regarding it?”

“No…” you lied guiltily, but you didn’t know how to handle it otherwise. He then decided to hint you with what he knew, by saying:

“Hm...Is Reiner really your type? Do I have to buff it up, go blonde, and grow a stache?” he then touched his face as you laughed. Both out of silliness, and nervousness. You felt worried knowing he heard that much of your conversation. Meaning, he knew you hadn’t denied Alexandra even once.

“Haha no! I love you just the way you areeee!”

He then looked at the ground, leading him to stand up.

“If that’s the case,” he leaned against the wall, staring at you intensely.

“No? Y/n, why did you say no?” you sighed in defeat, seeing that he most definitely was on your tail.

“I can’t tell her I’m dating a ‘devil’ from Paradis,” you said, trying to make an excuse.

“You wouldn’t have needed to tell her that...just saying yes should’ve been a good enough answer. You didn’t have to say no.”

“I know…”

“Then why did you?..”

“I just...I’m not even sure myself-”

“About this...us?...” he stopped himself while clenching his fist. Though he was annoyed, he didn’t want to push that onto you. He knew you cared about your relationship, and plus, it sounded petty for him to say.

“Never mind...it’s not a big deal.”

“I see…” you agreed, still feeling guilty as he then asked:

“You’re not planning on marrying him...right?”

“Hm,” you think to yourself. Though your mind had run blank, he certainly did not as it ran with rage. Seeing you hesitate when the answer should have been obvious. He just couldn’t handle it, along with his sense of inferiority. Though he had matured, there were still times where acted otherwise. This being one of them.

“I can’t believe you didn’t say no, almost immediately-”

“You know I won’t Jean…”

“Then why didn’t you tell off your friend? You didn’t deny the proposal, or your affection for him.”

Jean wasn’t jealous, rather, frustrated. Frustrated that you weren’t using your words (yet again), nor telling him any of your thoughts. It's like watching a movie with no audio, he wasn’t able to understand your actions even when seeing them. Without any coordination, communication would never reach his side of the spectrum.

He scrunched his eyebrows, and pinched the bridge between them. Though that was the case, he was trying to be patient with you. After all, this was something new and he didn’t want you to feel pressured. Nor did he want you to feel like it was completely your fault. Even if it was, he wouldn’t have known unless you told him so.

“Look Y/n...I really don’t want to fight, especially over something like this. But in order for me to understand things, even if it does hurt my feelings, I need to understand your thought process. That way, I’m able to clear up any misunderstandings. You tend to keep your mouth shut, and that’s not something that we need as of right now. You know how I feel, now it’s your turn,” you were still hesitant, feeling pressured as he approached you. He looked into your eyes. His stare was desperate, yet understanding. Patting your head as you gazed upwards.

“I’m sorry for acting like that...but you know...your actions do hurt me, especially when I don’t know where you’re coming from. So can you please...try to explain?” he pouted as you sighed, ready to convey how you felt. He seemed excited seeing that you were somewhat ready, feeling like a proud father...which was something he didn’t feel often (having both Connie and Sasha). It was a weird metaphor, but the only one which could describe the moment.

“I wasn’t sure if I should tell her. Although I do trust her, it could get out. You never know. Plus, I didn’t want to deny the proposal yet. I still need to talk things out with Reiner, and his mother” he seemed a bit disappointed, leading you to then hug him.

“But I can promise you, it’s something that won’t happen. I love you, and you alone,” he then wrapped his arms around, returning the favour. Him hovering over your top half, as you hugged his torso, still in your seat.

“I see...thanks for that but...I think I’ll still go blonde-”

“NO! I like your brown hair, it’s cute!”

“Cute eh? I guess I’ll keep it then,” Him then smirking at the ego boost, as you sat flushed.

“I love your hair as well.”

---

After breakfast, you both decided to make plans. Heading out for a walk in the park, wanting to spend more time together. If anything, you could conclude it as being a date. You went out for lunch, and strolled together while conversing. Though walking was a great thing, so was sitting. That being the case, you both sat on a bench. Hands intertwined, feet swinging, and him calmly humming. Moments had passed in such comfort for him to ask:

“What’s happened in your life? Well, other than becoming part of the military, and all of the boring stuff.”

“Nothing much, how about you? What’s been happening in yours?”

“Ah...I can’t say too much about that,” he nervously said, as you backed off, understanding it wasn’t something to be said aloud. You both then sat awkwardly, only for you to ask something that you had been curious about.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? After I left...the truth if possible,” you knew Jean was a truthful person, you trusted him, but you also knew he would sugar coat things to make you feel better. That being the case, you wanted honesty. No matter what. Afterall, you deserved to hear such criticism if needed. It was the least you could do to attone.

“I guess I’ll start off lightly. Um...we did find the cellar, the one which Eren’s father resided in. We also took back Shiganshina, though now mainly used for military purposes...I think. Not only that, but your horse has been doing fine.”

“Violet? How about Buchwald?”

“Yeah, him too. They’re pretty good friends in my opinion,” he looked at you to see that you weren’t content. It seemed as if you wanted to know more, rather than being shielded by the lightness in his words. Since you could make your own decisions, so could he. Deciding that he would tell you instead of keeping you from things. Things that you honestly...deserved to know.

“After you died...I barely slept. I couldn’t eat, train, or even walk for that matter. I was pretty malnourished during that time, refusing to have a meal. I did that feeling guilty that you couldn’t have it with me. You passed and yet I still lived?...it didn’t seem fair no matter what was said. I was pretty grumpy as well. Angry, sad, and confused. Not knowing what to do.

When Marco died, instead of mourning, I instead used it as a way to motivate me. To push myself even further for humanity, so that his death wouldn’t go in vain. But with your death...I couldn’t even. It was too painful to even bring up. Thinking of it as my motivation, seemed both coward like, and sickening.

Everyone else was pretty moody as well. Not sure how to approach such rogue behaviour from me, nor how to accept your death. Even though I made the biggest ordeal, they still mourned. However, even though that was the case, what matters is that you’re alive now. We’ve also talked things through, and now I’m here...with you,” he grasped your hand, smiling softly. The guilt that now built in your stomach, remind you of the pain you put him through. Not only that, but the anguish which held him captive for so many years. Though you put him in such a position...he was still willing to forgive you?

You stared at him. His eyes broken, yet also...in the process of healing. Although you couldn’t change the past, maybe you could alter the present, concluding in a better future for you both. You smiled as his thumb caressed your knuckles, loving the warmth. You sat there for a second, to then ask:

“Tell me...is Berthold alive?...in Paradis?” he then stopped, as he looked at the ground. You understood the answer, based on the actions given.

“How did he die?”

“Armin...ate him-”

“What? That’s only possible if-”

“We had spinal fluid? I know,” you sat there spooked. Just now finding out Paradis had such information, climbing up the latter as you spoke. They’d probably catch up to your wits eventually. Though that was the case, and you could have worried even more, you decided against it. Knowing this wasn’t the time to.

Instead, you decided to focus on Bertholdt. He was really gone...though you assumed it would have been better than being held captive, it still hurt. He must have felt so much pain going through that. Not only did he get eaten, but he was alone. None of you were there to help, nor witness such a sight. It saddened you as your eyes teared. The sweetest person, the only person who didn’t want to fight, was finally taken out of it in such a brutal way.

Jean saw the distress that struck across you, as he then wiped your tears. Trying to console you the best way he could. He knew what it felt like to lose a friend, heck he even thought he lost you. It was a process that hurt a lot...but one that would come to pass.

“What about everyone else?...”

“Hm...everyone is fine...especially Sasha and Connie. Those two are still as lively as ever,” he smiled as you followed suit.

“I’m glad they’re still the hooligans they were.”

“Yeah…me too.”

“How did you get here?...and why are you here?” you asked, genuinely wanting to know.

“Shh...it’s a secret,” he joked, obviously trying to avoid the question. After he answered, you could feel the tension in the air. One not wanting to tell the other everything just yet. You both trusted each other...yet felt as if your intentions...were something to keep behind closed doors…. For now at least.

Jean then sighed, gripping onto your hand even tighter. He, along with you, tried breaking the ice. Him with his actions, and you with your words. Though it felt a little awkward, you still wanted to carry out your conversation.

“You know, even though I tried pushing things aside...after leaving...I could never get over the departure. Separating from you, our comrades, and the place that made me feel...happy...normal...and well...loved,” grinning he then draped his arm over you. Your hand then grabbed his which lay on your chest, both intertwining whilst you both were even closer.

“Also...I’m surprised you didn’t move on. Especially after all of that time,” his expression then changed into a curious one.

“What do you mean?”

“Well...you thought I died. Not only that, but you're quite the ladies man. So I wouldn’t see you having much to...any difficulty actually.”

“I could never Y/n...though it sounds childish, you were my first love. I couldn’t imagine leaving you for someone else, even if you had passed. I would’ve died an old stallion,” he dramatically said as you burst out laughing. He loved seeing the face you’d make when you were happy. How lovely the corner of your lips would lift, the way your eyes crinkled, as your brows lifted the slightest bit. He was glad he could see such a sight, and that he was the cause behind it.

“Who said you won't, ya horse!”

“HEY! I’M NOT ONE!” laughter continued to fill the atmosphere. Both you and him adding your humor to the mood. Laying your head on his chest, and moving in closer.

“You know, if we ever do part ways...don’t feel bad, okay?” you stated.

“What do you mean?”

“It can apply to anything but...I mean death to be more specific. You never know what will happen in the midst of battle.”

“Hm...I guess so”

“But, the guilt will live with me forever. No matter what because...I just love you that much,” you smile to yourself and nod.

“I too, love you just as much...Jean. And I always will.”

---

While you two were enjoying your moment, being yourselves, cherishing each other’s presence, Zeke was not having any of it. He didn’t hate the sight of you being with someone else, it was just that...he thought your priorities lay elsewhere. Both in loyalty, and worth ethically. That being the case, he decided to do the only logical thing. Crash. The. Party.

So, he crept behind the both of you, clawed his hands, and placed them on your shoulders screaming:

“BOO!”

“WHAT THE HECK!” you then smacked his arm, quickly squirming away from Jean.

“Heh, good morning to you as well, Y/n. Now, who’s this we have here?” Before you could respond, Jean sighed, extending his hand. He knew that if he let you talk, you would be put in another awkward position.

“My name is...John. A friend of Y/n,” you wheezed internally. He just had to pick the most generic name, one which sounded like his own. Zeke grabbed his hand, and shook it.

“Ah...nice to meet you John. Anyways, Y/n...Reiner has been looking for you all morning. His face seemed urgent, so I think you should go see him,” though Jean wasn’t pleased, with both Zeke, and the fact you had to leave (him for Reiner), he approved of the notion with a small nod.

“I’ll see you later, Je-John.”

“Yeah...same here,” he then walked the other direction, leaving both you and Zeke to walk towards HQ.

“Were you lying, about Reiner?” hand in his pocket, as the other smoked up a storm.

---

“No, I wasn’t. He actually was looking for you.”

“I see.”

“Also Y/n, just for the record, know that I’m not dumb, nor oblivious. I know what stunt you two were pulling off, trying to lie to me, tch,” he said, clearly annoyed. You inhaled the smoke of cigarettes. Not sure what to tell him. But you were also...laughing a bit. Actually enjoying his reaction since you’ve never seen Zeke so frustrated out of work.

“I see I’ve upset you?”

“Whatever you rascal. How long have you been with him?” he smiled as your hands clasped.

“We really are just friends. I met him at a pub, nothing much has happened between us, nor will anything in general,” he sighed as his tone became a lot firmer. Though he didn’t believe you, he still had something to say.

“You need to be more careful. If it were someone else who had seen, even more rumors would've been speculated, you know that? Plus, friendship or not, know where your priorities stand,” you choked on your saliva, trying to cough as his words caught you by surprise.

Before he could say anything more, the gates to HQ then opened for the both of you to see...Reiner...running as fast as he could.

“Reiner?...”

“Y/n! You’re here!”

“Yeah...I am….”

“I need you, let’s go,” he then dragged you elsewhere as Zeke stomped on his cigarette.

“You may need her...but does she actually need you...Reiner?”

Ⅹ > Ⅻ

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caffeinatedwasteland · 3 years

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Campus Memories part 2

Notes: So this took like forever for me to do, only cause I didn’t wanna cut these scenes out of this part. I’m hoping later on to maybe do different routes? I’m just having a fun time writing something for the first time.

Words: Around 2k

The walk over to the science building was longer than I remember it being, occasionally glancing at the classrooms in passing I looked for any sign of the man I’m looking for. Deciding it might be easier to head to the faculty office to see if they have seen Eren. As I make my way closer towards the office I can hear two voices getting more distinct, standing out from the distant chatter of other students and faculty in passing. Rounding the corner I see Eren, or at least I think it’s Eren. With his hair still pulled back, putting most of his weight to one side as he speaks to the man across from him. The other man looks completely opposite to Eren, with his neatly styled blonde hair, freshly groomed beard and glasses resting above his nose. His clothes also give off a much more dominant presence than Eren, his button up looking freshly ironed with no creases, his fancy looking watch resting on his left wrist.

A light brown overcoat tossed over his left arm. Looking at the two and from both styles and how they seem to carry themselves it’s as if different cultures were communicating with one another, making me wonder how they could possibly know each other. Given their standing by the faculty office, maybe the man he’s speaking to is his professor? That could explain the ‘authoritative’ aura surrounding the blonde man, but Eren seems too relaxed to be speaking to someone with authority over him. Eren is clearly more carefree when it comes to not really minding his posture or how he presents himself in public, with a strong free aura about him, while the man in the suit who I can now only assume is the "Zeke" he talked to on his phone, is more dignified, and very "elite" with how his posture is perfect, everything looking tidy and sharp, like someone that doesn't leave any detail go unnoticed.

As I get closer to the two I can make out words in their conversation. “Don’t be so overly dramatic Eren, you act like I asked you to walk miles.” The blonde man says with a slight chuckle. Before I had realized I was a few steps from them and I felt the man’s gaze catch my own. I go to speak but before any words come out he speaks first “Is there something we can help you with?” I hadn't noticed until now, but now that his strong presence is pointed towards me, I couldn't help but freeze as I was not expecting the sudden shift in focus he had, he didn't change his demeanor in any way compared to when he was speaking to Eren, but now that he's talking to me, I start to wonder how Eren can talk to him as an equal and not be crushed by the pressure he exerts.

After what felt like an eternity I stuttered with simple words without even thinking. "A lost wallet? And you came all the way here to return it? Such a polite thing to do, I apologize for my scatterbrained brother's lack of attention bringing you trouble." He says as he politely bows his head to me in a respectful manner just before turning to Eren. "Well? I think you owe them an apology, don't you?" He says without giving it a second thought. The pressure I was feeling instantly went away as I noticed Eren's sudden realization of what was going on and how he suddenly bows his head down further than the tall Blonde figure next to him and without any control over his tone he basically shouts "Thank you for bringing this back! I'm sorry to trouble you! I will repay you in any way I can!" This sudden focus of both tall men bowing to me made me feel very self aware so I started reassuring them that it was no problem at all as it was just the right thing to do.

I sent Eren a small smile as I handed back his wallet and he thanked me once more before the man who I now know is Eren’s brother spoke up, “This might sound odd, but now that I’ve gotten a closer look at you, do you not work at the Coffee Cart?” I look at him slightly confused but nod “Oh yeah, I do, that’s how I found Eren’s wallet actually.” He nods his head, placing his hands in his pockets as he leans back slightly “I get my coffee there all the time, the owner happens to be one of my friends. Send Pieck my regards.”

As I’m leaving the building I hear my stomach growl, when was the last time I ate? It must’ve been around when I first got to work this morning. Normally I get something to eat after my shift but I got caught up in returning Eren’s wallet. Deciding I might as well just get something to eat here since I’m already on campus before I head back to my dorm. While making my way closer to the cafeteria I hear a familiar voice behind me, I turn around to see Eren running towards me. “Hey! I hope this doesn’t come across as creepy. But I wanted to repay you for the trouble of finding me.” He pauses as he stops in front of me, looking a bit flustered. I raise my brow at him waiting for him to continue “Plus, Zeke wasn’t gonna let me leave without offering to repay you. Which I already planned to do! But uh, he suggested I treat you to some food given what time it is. So if you wanna go grab something to eat, Wanna come with me?” He looked down at me nervously shifting his weight from side to side. I adjust my bag on my shoulder and smile back “Sure, that would be nice. I was going to just grab something from the cafeteria before heading to my dorm anyways.” Eren’s eyes seem to light up at my accepting his invitation and he falls into place at my side “So, since we’re going to be eating together...what’s your name? I’m Eren by the way.” He pauses for a second before quickly adding “But you might know that from finding my wallet.” He lets out a nervous chuckle and scratches the back of his neck before turning his head to face me as we walk. “Oh, right! Sorry I forgot to introduce myself. My name’s y/n, it’s nice to meet you Eren.” I hold my hand out to him to shake, his larger hand wrapping around mine, giving a quick shake.

“Cool, y/n, gotcha, I’ll be seeing you around then.” He adds as he lets go of my hand and we start heading to the closest fast food place we both agreed on, “Kenny’s.” The walk toward the restaurant felt short as we spent the time just making small talk, even exchanging contact info, laughing at silly things, even petty things such as pointing out someone's fly being open. Before we knew it we had already arrived at our destination, I even forgot we were getting food by how invested I was in our conversation! It was really unexpected that I would make a friend just from bringing him back his wallet but it’s something I wouldn’t change. Plus despite seeming intimidating upon first glance Zeke seems to be polite and clearly cares a lot for Eren, hopefully he wasn’t offended by me feeling intimidated by him.

I reach out and open the door, holding it open for Eren, the scent of varying dishes hitting my nose as I look over to see the hostess leaning forward with her chin resting on her hand and other arm on the podium in front of her before she notices us. She looks at us for a second and with what seems like her best attempt at covering the fact she is tired and just wants her shift to be over, forces a smile before picking up two menus and sets of cutlery from in front of her “Table for two?” She questions plainly. I nod at her as she starts sluggishly leading us to our table and I glance around the restaurant. It’s nothing fancy, just a little family style restaurant with warm lighting, booths lining the outer walls, each one having its own window and light hanging above it. In Between the rows of booths there sit some smaller tables, the whole restaurant is coloured with neutral browns and other plain colours giving it a more homey feeling. More well known for their breakfast foods over their lunch and dinner options, a good place to go after a long night of partying. The hostess stops by a booth and places down the menus and cutlery “Your server will be with you shortly” she adds before turning around and heading her way back to her post at the podium, yawning as she walks. Eren and I pick up our menus, scanning over them to decide what to order. I get pulled from my thoughts by a voice asking us for our drink orders before I go back to browsing the menu. Deciding on my order I close the menu and place it on the end of the table, looking across the table at Eren I raise a brow, noticing his gaze following after the server as he walks away. “So I noticed you've been distracted by him ever since he showed up to take our drink orders, do you... you know... swing that way? Maybe have a thing for our server?” I question, Eren quickly turns back to face me “What? No! It’s not like that” he quickly waves his hands to dismiss the idea “he's my friend Reiner, but he's always so focused on work he probably didn't notice I was around” he lets out a small laugh adding “that’s so like him too, I’m just waiting for him to notice so I can bug him about it.”

Eren puts down his menu as our server, Reiner, makes his way back to our table and places our drinks down in front of us and picks up the menus. As he takes my order I take my time to take in his appearance, he’s tall like Eren is but he’s more broad and muscular, even more defined by his work uniform. He has short blonde hair neatly styled, golden coloured eyes and a neutral facial expression. He looks rather intimidating, but Eren doesn’t seem bothered. His voice is deep, he’s polite but seems to take his job seriously, in contrast to the hostess. Reiner then turns his focus to Eren and his eyes widen slightly before relaxing “Oh Eren, I didn’t realize it was you” he states, looking more casual than before. "Responsible as always, aren't you, Reiner?" said Eren in a sarcastic but respectful way. "Haha, I guess so, what brings you here anyways? I don't see you here often" said the blonde man, his tone way more friendly than before but not losing that polite feel to it, either he must have worked in customer service for a long time before, or he's just naturally polite despite his looks. "Just repaying y/n here for them helping me out." said Eren as both their gazes turned to me. "O-Oh, it was nothing much, really. Just doing what anyone else would do" I hastily reply as the sudden attention catches me off guard. "Not many people would just straight up go across the whole campus to return a wallet! Even more so with all its contents still inside! You are a really good person, don't demerit yourself!" Eren replies adamantly, as if me not acknowledging my actions was somehow disrespectful to him. "He's right, you know. Not many people would go through all of that just to do a good deed, I respect that." added Reiner to it, just as adamantly as Eren but without the same amount of energy behind it that Eren put into it, but at the same time without losing the impact. I can feel my cheeks warming up as I can't help but smile at the compliments and end up just graciously admitting my loss in this argument and accept the praise.

Reiner then picked up the menus and went to put our orders in at the kitchen. I then shifted my focus back onto Eren to find he was already staring back at me, leaning his chin in his hand “So, what do you think of Reiner?” he questioned while raising a brow before taking a sip of his drink. “He seems nice, I wouldn’t have figured you’d be friends” I reply with a short laugh when Eren looks at me confused, “not in a bad way, you just don’t look like you would hang out” I quickly add, nervously ruffling my hair, hoping I didn’t just accidentally offend him. Eren starts laughing as I just stare at him and tilt my head waiting for him to speak “Yeah, Reiner and I only met through some mutual friends of ours, so I get what you mean,” he says between his laughs. I hadn’t realized just how hungry I was when our food arrived, and it seemed like Eren was as well given we didn’t talk much and mainly focused on eating.

When Reiner returned with our bill Eren quickly grabbed it before I could even glance at the total “You really don’t have to pay for me, Eren” I insisted while reaching out to grab the bill from his hands before he moved it out of my reach “No way! y/n I told you that I was gonna pay you back for returning my wallet and that’s what I’m gonna do!” Eren pushes my hand back and then opens the little book holding the bill, his expression falling slightly as he reaches to grab his wallet and seems to be counting bills. He pulls out some bills and places them in the book before looking sheepishly between Reiner and I, a faint flush to his face and ears before he mumbles “I might be a little short on cash” I immediately reach for my bag on the booth seat and start to look for my own wallet as I hear a laugh, but it’s too deep to be Eren’s, I look over and see it’s Reiner but he’s clearly trying to muffle it with his fist “Eren hand me the bill, will you?” He questions after clearing his throat. “Well you aren’t too short, so I guess I can cover you this time. But you owe me” Reiner adds, reaching into his pants pocket for his own wallet, I quickly retract my hands from my bag and quickly wave at him to stop “y-you don’t have to do that! I can just pay whatever is left on the bill!” Reiner looks over at me with a smile “No, it’s fine, Eren said he was gonna pay you back right? He still is. He just now owes me a little bit for helping to do that.” Eren nods his head “Thanks Reiner, I really owe you one now. Seriously don’t worry about it y/n, I’d feel bad having you pay after I made you come here.”

Reiner waves his hand to say goodbye to us as he leaves with the bill in hand, wishing us a good night. I quickly find my wallet and place a few bills on the table as a tip for him after Eren has already started to head for the door. When we reach the door Eren holds it open for me and once we’re outside he says “Hey it’s pretty dark out here now, would you like me to walk you home?” I glanced around, noticing the street lights had come on already. As much as I would enjoy spending more time with Eren as I head back to my dorm, I worry about how my roommate would react to seeing him. She’s not a bad person just can make some weird and embarrassing comments at my own expense and I’d rather not have her be like that when I just met him. “That’s really nice of you, and I really appreciate the offer but I think I’ll be good to go by myself. Maybe next time you can walk me back?” I smile up at him and adjust my bag on my shoulder, hopefully he doesn’t think my offer of walking me home next time is too forward or something. I just had a really fun time with him and hope to be able to hang out in the future.

Eren spends a moment just staring down at me, his eyes searching my face but for what I’m not too sure. “Alright, but you have my number so let me know you get there in one piece.” My smile widens at his response, he doesn’t seem weirded out by my comment so that’s a plus. “Okay, I’ll send you a text so you know I’m alive” I joke as I turn to head towards the dorm, mentally preparing myself for the teasing I’ll get from my roommate when she finds out why I didn’t head straight back to our dorm after work.

#aot x reader #aot x you #aot college au #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x you #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren x y/n #Eren Jaeger #Campus Memories #B's writing #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #Eren Jaeger x reader #Eren Yeager x reader

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sparda3g · 4 years

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Attack on Titan Chapter 126 Review

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The apocalypse is here; slowly expanding across the globe. All hell breaks loose, and everyone is either celebrating or crying. The past chapters have been depressing albeit stellar and very interesting in content delivery. You would think the trend would continue forward with the end of the world at sight. Surprisingly, this chapter was more light-hearted and entertaining with some laughs. This was a welcoming treat.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbow however. There are some dark tones in this chapter as well. From the start, it enters a flashback prior to the event where Hange confronts Marleyians. In her time spent protecting Levi, she was forced to kill some Survey Corps members. It could have been a simple protection scene, but the added tear running down on her face made it impacting. It’s sad that it has to go down this way. As crazy she can be, she still holds a soft spot for them.

Supposedly, Levi was set to transform into a Titan; however, because he’s an Ackerman, he survived. Same for the injuries. Does that mean the syringe won’t work on him? I always like their comradery. Hange treated his wounds, stitched him up, which needless to say looked pretty rough. His fingers are lost, which is more troubling due to the necessary use for the gear. How he’s going to fight would be interesting to see when that time comes.

Hange has been struggling for quite some time. Now, the future seem to be set for them that reminisce a similar path as Uprising Arc. In other words, they’re criminals or outlaws. The best thing they can do is count on Pixis, who is now deceased, and Armin, who has recently left to search for Falco. You can sense defeat from Hange, and that’s sad.

I like the small consistent detail on the sequence. Everything happened before the Rumbling began. The moment when they were in PATHS is when you learn their decision was made that led to the last chapter’s ending. Levi woke up and the first thing he thought was to find Zeke and kill him. That’s a hell of a dedication. I admit, I laughed at that.

He was able to survive the blast by placing the sword in front of the explosion. That explains the fingers. Although his vengeance on Zeke is his personal goal, he asked if running and hiding was all they will do. Pretty much, he listened everything Hange said. Despite the struggling, she wasn’t going to stay out and Levi knows that all too well. Again, I like their companionship. It’s more needed than ever.

Shifting back to present, in a strange turn of event, Levi and Magath’s interest happen to align. Both share a similar goal to kill Zeke, so in theory, it’s enough reason to form a pact. Magath is doubtful, seeing him in a bad state. Even Levi admits to be in a weak state that he can’t dodge a bullet, but he is willing to give him an ultimatum. That’s when you know desperate time calls for desperate measure.

Hange doesn’t know much of Founding Titan, but it’s easy to say it’s going to be incredibly tough. Therefore, the simple solution is to form a pact. With the world ending, they might as well work under one mission. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Otherwise, everyone is guaranteed to die, aside from Paradis Island.

It’s a bit eerie to see people sleeping during the apocalypse. It’s not to say no one should be sleeping, but how one can sleep when they know the world is ending. Some are seen to be awake. Jean looks so depressed at everything. Mikasa can’t fathom Eren to be the one to end everything. Annie wonders if her father is safe. Reiner is still down and out. It’s kind of depressing. Armin and Gabi are still searching for Connie and Falco, which is the next focus.

While I don’t like Connie’s action to use Falco to save his mother, I still respect him, especially when he now have second thoughts on the matter. His target is set, but the guilt is beginning to haunt him. He’s not a bad guy; just a poor soul that was sent to a hellish environment. I pity him. Asking Sasha makes it worse. Her death really stung him. The loss of a best friend can make a man feel lonely. Once they arrive at Ragako Village, the tension rises.

As they draw closer to the destination, Falco quickly realizes what’s happening. I’m surprised that he caught on quick, though I like the fact he’s not so careless. He’s well aware of the situation; from Gabi killing Sasha to Connie pretending to be a friend. It would have been easier if Falco remained clueless. Instead, it only added more pressure.

Connie’s mother is still in the same place for years. I can’t imagine the feeling of unable to move at all. The sensation plays off like a horror film, where a stranger (Connie) is about to harm the innocent (Falco). Hilariously, Connie puts a horrible poker face on and tells him to brush a Titan’s teeth. It’s so random, it’s hilarious. It’s like a spoof writer wrote this. Still, Connie’s intention is set and he won’t back off.

Armin and Gabi arrive in time to stop Connie. Falco doesn’t know he’s a Jaw Titan or what happened to Porco. Connie is completely desperate to save his only family; won’t listen to what Armin has to say. It saves the time from saying typical lines about what’s right and wrong. Even so, it’s pity for Connie to what essentially forced him to stoop this low. It’s not like he’s a real douche; just lost in the matter.

Armin has no word to say. Remembering the integrity of Erwin, he recovers and goes for a literal suicide approach. Before Connie finish climbing, Armin reaches on the ledge, contemplating the action he’s about to do. The scene rapidly grow unnerving. The fact he’s actually going to suicide to calm the situation is disheartening. I actually like this because it’s two guys who basically hit rock bottom confronting. In a twisted way, it’s like seeing who can hit the lowest first. Fortunately, Connie won’t let it happen; saving Armin from fulfilling his dream.

Gabi and Falco are back together, but it must be hard for him to learn what happened, especially his older brother. That even stings me. Connie has a second thought. It’s best to not make his mother into a weapon. Most importantly, it’s best for him to remain as a soldier his mother wanted him to be, not as a backstabber. Therefore, he wants to return and save people. It’s a good heartfelt moment. I don’t know if Armin’s mind is straight again, but Connie looks to be back to normal. Only time will tell.

The mystery of the missing scarf ends here. It was Louise and sadly, according to her, she’s on her literal death bed. Mikasa had a hunch that it was her. I appreciate the characters not playing dumb or rather, not bright enough to think the likely possibilities. Louise only wore it because she truly admired Mikasa. I have to say, it’s a little sad to see her dying. She does have a history as a kid who witnessed a role model.

The real interesting piece lies from the moment before she took it herself. She spoke to Eren about Mikasa, but his response was to get rid of the scarf. I’m still perplexed on why he’s so hell-bent to break all ties with her. I know there’s a lot more going on that is not on display. The closest we got is during his time in the memory trip. Something is definitely up. Mikasa takes it back and leaves her alone. Kind of sad for her last day to be alone without her idol. This series isn’t kind to anyone.

The army of Colossal Titans is almost gone, so it’s time for the Yeagerists to celebrate the supreme victory. Quite the disgusting nature of people all cool about destroying the world. It gets more disgusting when you learn Floch is the representative. His death must be gloriously satisfying for enduring his crap. Jean is depressing to look at. You can tell he’s lost in this cruel world.

The next scene is pretty hilarious. Armin and others arrive at the feast. While the kids eat, Armin and Connie discuss about Annie’s possible return. It just so happens that next to them, Annie was casually eating a slice of pie. They all look at her like their mind couldn’t register her existence. I can’t blame them when she has a silly face. Never would I expect this is the way they would reunite. Next to the famous betrayal scene, this is Isayama-sensei’s way to get to the point, now done in a humorous way. Four years later and her first move in the reunion is gobbling down a pie. Definitely didn’t see it coming.

I did enjoy Hitch and Annie hanging out in the last chapter, but sadly, it has to end. Annie left with others with a letter for Hitch. It’s basically a thank you message, but coming from her, it’s special. She may be cold outside, but she does have a heart. The message speaks out her gratitude for Hitch’s action; saying goodbye for one last time. It’s sweet that the panel doesn’t show Hitch’s reaction, but you can draw an idea that she was touched by Annie’s message. A shame that it ended here, but the friendship won’t be forgotten.

The sensation returns to crap when the scene shift back to Floch and his regime. It is execution time, and the criminals are Yelena and Onyankopon. Executing them will grant them the reign over the island; at least according to Floch, but the man is a whack job anyway. He calls Yelena out on her crimes; marking her as the worst criminal ever. The spouting nonsense from citizens paint them as racists, vile creatures. Who needs Titans to cause destruction when you have human. Yelena is out of her mind; she is waiting to get shot to get it over with. I’m beginning to feel a little sympathy for her. If that is the case, then Floch is doing something right.

The calling on Onyankopon’s crimes frustrate me a lot. He will be executed because he doesn’t want to work with them. The worst part is, his past actions were only for the sake of everyone. He thought he was helping his homeland as well as theirs, and this is how they would repay him? Pathetic. The series did a good job to keep his hands clean. While I can understand the reason to execute Yelena, his is unwarranted. I felt generally bad when he cries out; expressing his frustrations on everything. He’s a simple man who wanted peace one way or another. It feels rather close to home; that’s life for you.

Jean is his executioner, preparing to shoot him. Earlier, he looked like a shell of his former self. That contribute to this moment to give fans an impression that he has stoop this low to execute an innocent man; at least compare to everyone there. He shoots four times, but miss. He looks so out of it, I would have bought the idea of him completely disarray from life itself. Floch is sadly not a fool to notice something is odd. Well, forget about that, because Cart Titan appears out of nowhere and start attacking. Talk about real-time event.

It goes after Floch; soon, Pieck will become the best character ever. Sadly, Jean will become the worst for saving his life. Even in death, I will be upset. However, it’s all part of the plan. The attack wasn’t intended to kill Floch, though I would have been all in. Coincidentally, it ate Yelena and Onyankopon as well. It’s a ruse to escort them and Jean out of there and group up with others. The four shots was a code to continue the operation. It would have been funny if he was a lousy shooter, but this is neat nonetheless.

Mikasa is with Armin and others. I’ll talk about the pacing later. They’re stealing the supplies from the Yeagerists, or more like taking them back. Before departure, someone looks outside from the window and only Annie notices. I’m not sure where this lead to, but I doubt it is Zeke. It could be possible, but why would he be there though? It could be Shadis, though again, not sure the ploy behind this silhouette mystery.

As previously stated, Cart Titan escorted Jean and the two out of there. I laughed at Hange’s insult on Pieck and the Titan’s hygiene. I suppose the punchline is Titan’s teeth. The twist is, Jean has turned to their side since last night. He could have stay with the Yeagerists, even if it’s with the king of douche. Hell, he could have locked himself inside; ignoring everything. But his heart told him to never forget the fallen. A grim reminder is to remember the ashes. He’s slowly recovering, so hope for the best. Saving Onyankopon is a good start.

Surprisingly, Yelena was spared as well. It was only because of Magath’s request. Plus, they want her alive for some reason. Perhaps it’s to obtain Intel on Zeke’s whereabouts since she has a connection. There could be a personal reason, but we’ll see where this lead to. All in all, the faction is growing; only one is missing.

Reiner is still sleeping; supposedly for another 2 or 3 days. That won’t do, so Annie does the favor by kicking him hard. That’s funny and so in-character of her to do something like that. Imagine waking up to see an old friend that was crystallized for four years. Imagine waking up to see two opposing forces unite. That’s Reiner in the nutshell. I bet he was hoping to wake up when everyone is dead.

Connie, now with a newly determined face, sets the record straight and tell him to get ready. Their mission: to save the world. Only he would phrase it the way it sounded; straight-up heroic. This is written by a guy who used the magazine cover to draw a meme reference with his characters. It wouldn’t surprise me if that’s the case. All it was missing was the theme song playing.

Before closing the review, as much as I enjoyed this chapter, the only issue I have is the pacing. It’s a weird feeling because when I read it the second time, it felt natural. However, it feels fast when compare to other chapters. In a weird sense, it’s too fast for this series while another would feel right. The part with Armin and Connie could use two or more pages to conclude. The rest, I believe it would be explained in the next couple of chapters. Supposedly, this is the last chapter of a volume. The intention was probably to end strong and leave the explanation later. This is how the series roll sometimes, so don’t be surprised if that’s the case. Regardless, it was fast, but no time for minor stuff I suppose.

Overall, I thought this was a pretty entertaining chapter. It’s different in tone in compare, but delivered a good quality content. It doesn’t hurt to lighten up. We have an apocalypse already; we don’t have to go deeper into the abyss. There were plenty of good light-hearted moments. As quick as the pacing was, the moments were felt and certain mysteries continue to pique my interest. Everyone is coming together to prevent the massacre. Recalling the audio from the event, it won’t be simple. For all we know, this could be the last bright spot. Hopefully not, but you never know.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #chapter 126 #review #spoilers

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 6 years

Text

DOTW 9 - Start

With Hanji and Moblit at work so much, Eren had noticed a few things. Moblit was almost always exhausted when he came home, while Hanji almost always had way too much energy. Hanji was horrible at cooking and cleaning, so when he was home, Moblit was the one who did all the work. It didn't sit right with Eren. He was sitting at their dining table eating their food. He used their water and power and slept in their spare bed... and he paid nothing for all it all. He didn't like it. He wasn't used to it... but with the cast on his ankle, he couldn't find a new job. Without a job, he couldn't pay for his share of everything. So he started helping around the house. Just small jobs at first. Like doing his own washing, or stacking and emptying the dishwasher. When neither of the pair said anything, he took it to mean he was doing the right thing. With the chores being done, Moblit had more time to rest, and more time to be with Hanji, and that made him proud. Every morning he'd wait until the house was empty to start. He'd vacuum and mop, before cleaning through the kitchen and tackling the washing. He even managed to get the curtains down and wash them, surprised to find they were actually white and not the coffee colour they'd been when they'd gone into the machine. Sure, it was hard as fuck to manage the stairs with a full basket of washing and annoying cast on his leg, but it was worth it. The house felt bigger and brighter, it smelt like lemons and oranges, instead of the empty void left from scent cancelling spray, and he most of all, it kept his mind busy. Almost daily he'd text Marco, his friend wanted to catch up, but even with all the work he was doing around the house, Eren didn't feel like he had the right to invite Marco over. He still felt at times he was being too pushy and clingy. His anxieties getting the better of him, especially when he didn't hear from Levi again after they went shopping. He also didn't want to get too attached to the place, because Zeke had promised he'd return... not that his heart was listening to his head. In the apartment, he couldn't play his music too loud, but if Moblit wasn't on split shifts, he could have it as loud as he wanted. No one was there to judge his awful singing. No neighbours were banging on the door because he was being too loud. He'd missed music so much. It kept the demon at bay, and kept the memories from suffocating him. So he kept going.

Waking up later than normal, he went about his morning routine in the bathroom, before getting dressed to face the day. A small amount of concealer hiding the black bags that marred his face. He'd had nightmares the night before, and how he hadn't woken Hanji and Moblit, he had no idea. Grabbing his crutches, he headed downstairs.

Moblit was cooking breakfast as his limped in, while Hanji was sitting at the dining table. It was rare for them both to be home in the morning, and his stupid anxieties rose their ugly head

"Good morning, Eren. Come take a seat"

He swallowed hard. His first instinct was to run. It didn't matter that Hanji was smiling, he was sure she was about to yell at him. Limping over to the solid jarrah dining table, he slid into the seat closest to Hanji. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up and now they were getting rid of him...

"Eren, are you alright?"

Nodding quickly, he pushed a fake smile to his lips

"Just a little sleepy"

"Aren't we all? Anyway, Moblit and I wanted to have a little chat with you"

Here it came. She was going to yell... he'd messed up. He shouldn't have cleaned the house. He should have stayed in his room, where he couldn't make trouble

"Moblit and I have been talking..."

Cutting her off, the words fell out before he could stop them

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have cleaned without asking. You've got every right to be mad... I mean... it's your house and I'm stranger... I didn't mean to make trouble for you"

"Huh. What? No. We're not mad"

"Y-you're not mad?"

"Hell no. If you want to clean the house, go for it. No. That's not what we wanted to talk about"

"It's not?"

"Moblit, are you mad Eren's been cleaning our house?"

Moblit snorted

"Nope. It's never looked or smelt better, and it's been a huge help having another set of hands around here"

"You're not going to yell?"

Hanji placed her hand on his

"Nope. We actually wanted to know if you'd like to make it an actual job. Not like a real job, but more like for pocket money?"

"What? Why?"

"Because you're cleaning our house, silly"

"You're letting me stay here... I can't pay rent or anything... I don't need payment"

"Sweetie, we didn't take you in so you'd do stuff for us. And we thought you might feel a little bit more independent if you had some income coming in"

"But you guys are the ones paying for everything. It's not cheap living here, even in the suburbs and there's food, water, power, rates, gas... then you've both got cars on top of the house costs"

"Trust me. Between Moblit's job and mine, we're fine. And besides, we want you to feel like this is your home too"

"But it's not"

"You're practically family. Seriously. If you want to have people come over, that's fine"

"People?"

"Like Marco, or Levi"

"Levi doesn't like me, and Marco... I didn't want to invite him over without your permission"

"Marco is your friend. It must get pretty lonely here"

"It's alright..."

"Oh. Then maybe I shouldn't have invited him over?"

"You... invited him over?"

"Yep. He's coming to dinner, and so is Levi"

He wasn't prepared to see either of them...

"I thought we could make it a celebration"

"What are we celebrating?"

Coming over from the kitchen, Moblit placed a plate stacked with pancakes down in front of him, and another plate down in front of Hanji

"Hanji, what have I told you about starting at the beginning?"

"I was getting there"

"Oh, by all means, continue then"

"I'm trying to"

Moblit kissed Hanji's cheek fondly, returning to the kitchen to grab his own plate, while Eren stared down at his pancakes. He really wasn't used to having someone make him a breakfast like this

"You've got a scan booked at 11, if everything looks good, we can go ahead and take that cast off. I'm not making any promises, but the last scan looked really good"

His last scan had been almost right after his injection induced heat, and he couldn't even remember it. Hanji had apologised over and over for it all, and for how the doctor had treated him. She'd also put him on multivitamins designed for omegas, and wanted him to work on gaining weight. He'd always tried to keep his figure in check, so the thought of gaining weight didn't sit well with him. He'd rather be too thin. He wanted to get back into dancing once the cast came off, and most alphas preferred a thin omega. Zeke had preferred a thin omega... the idea that his brother wouldn't recognise him if he gained weight scared him more than he'd admit

"When I can start dancing again?"

"Not just yet. We'll need to work on building strength back up in your ankle. I know it's not what you want to hear, but rushing into dancing again could lead to further complications. You could do permanent damage and never be able to dance again"

"So..."

"So, we'll take it slow with rehab and walking. I know you have a yoga mat, gently yoga stretches are alright"

"I... don't know that much yoga. Most of the stuff I do is stretching"

"As long as you're not running around in 6-inch platforms, things should be ok"

Moblit took the seat across from him with a smile and a nod

"You should eat before they get even colder"

"Oh... right. I think I'm in shock"

Hanji choked on her mouthful of pancake. Draining half her mug of coffee, she sucked down a deep breath while still coughing

"Sorry! It's just sometimes you say the cutest things"

He wasn't trying to be cute

"It's fine. I was thinking you could help with tonight's menu?"

"Zeke taught me how to cook... I don't know much... but I can generally follow a recipe"

"You're doing better than Hanji. She tried to prepare this romantic dinner one time, but forgot she'd put the roast in the oven and ordered takeaway instead. We were woken in the middle of the night by the fire alarm"

"She... no way"

"It wasn't my fault. I came off my shift after spending three days at the hospital... I shouldn't have been adulting"

"After that, its became a ritual to check the oven every night"

"I can see why"

"Eren, you're supposed to be on my side"

"You shouldn't have been in the kitchen"

Hanji stared at him, failing to hide her smile

"Ok. Maybe not. But Moblit didn't marry me for my cooking prowess"

"No, I had to marry you because no one else would"

"That and I make stupidly happy"

"Yeah. You really do"

Struck with the unexpected prangs of jealousy, Eren didn't know how he was supposed to act. He didn't understand relationships. He only understood behaving and doing what he was told. Zeke would kiss and hug him, let him sit in his lap as he fed him, but he was his brother so none of that counted. Stabbing his fork into the tower of pancakes, he blocked Hanji and Moblit from his mind.

The trip to hospital was kind of over before it really set in. His anxieties gripping his mind and not letting go. Hanji tried to soothe him, only for it to all go over his head. He couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was the scan. He was sure they were going to tell him he'd have wear the cast for the rest of his life and that he'd never dance again. So when he was told his scans were good, and that he getting itchy piece of shit cast off... He wanted to scream with happiness. After weeks of confined itchy smelly torture, his ankle was free! He wasn't free from crutches just yet, but fuck it felt good to have the cast off. Ruffling his hair, Hanji was all smiles as they walked back to her car. His ankle was a bit stiff, but it was barely noticed

"How does it feel?"

"Amazing. I'm not going to miss it"

"Don't forget you need to take it slow"

"I know... I can't wait to wash my foot"

"Let's get you home then. We need to decide on tonight's menu"

"Wasn't Moblit doing that?"

"He's gone to get groceries, and we've got like a hundred cookbooks at home that we've never used. We can get as creative as we want"

"I want to take a bath first... if that's ok?"

"You don't need to ask. It's your home too, remember"

Home. He couldn't really think of it like that. Home was wherever Zeke was... but Zeke had told him to stay with Hanji and Moblit... so maybe it really was "home", just for now?

"Thank you"

The bath was magical. He'd scrubbed and scratched at his ankle until he was sure all itchy and flaky skin was gone. He had new scarring from the operation, the scars barely making a dent in comparison to his old ones. Running his fingers around the two parallel scars of his past, his whole body shook. No matter what happened, they'd always be there. He'd never be able to escape the tight feeling of the invisible hold they held on his chest. If he ever found an alpha he truly wished go to be intimate with, they'd run once they knew the story behind them. Allowing himself a few moments to compose himself again, he wiped at his face. He wasn't in that place anymore. The people who'd do this to him were gone. He had a new "home" here... and despite how loud and invasive Hanji was, she'd never do what they did to him. He couldn't help being wary around Moblit. The male alpha had done nothing wrong, he'd even gone out of his way to try and make him feel welcome, but Eren couldn't control his fears and anxieties. He couldn't help the sick feeling that sometimes formed in the base of his gut. Not that Moblit ever said anything about it. About the distance or the timid looks. The man took it in his stride, probably because Hanji would have told him he was damaged. The love the pair of them shared... he didn't understand. Not when he'd witnessed such violence between alphas... not when he'd witnessed what his father did to his mother... but maybe... maybe this was what he needed? A place where they really didn't care he was an omega?

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ghostmartyr · 6 years

Text

SnK 102 Thoughts

Any of you ever watch Imagine Me & You?

In it, some small child whose name I can’t remember asks what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. The answer given by one of the romantic leads whose name I remember slightly better but am pretending not to is that they can’t both exist.

Taking all bets, folks.

First thing’s first, and oh my gosh, it actually comes first in the chapter! What witchcraft is this!

That’s way more visually appealing in the manga, but. ...I mean, looking at it, all of my reasons seem very silly, because that is horrible and I could probably be spending this time making it better, but I’m not going to, so now we’re all sad.

It’s a metaphor.

(it wasn’t supposed to be)

Anyway, the in-universe confirmation that wow, this is all a bit much, are you sure any of this was a good idea? is greatly appreciated. Expected, on some level, but when the story starts going dark places, it’s easy to distrust the motivation. So I remain a mostly unhappy camper at this getaway, but canon taking a moment to pause and wonder why someone thought this was a good plan is nice.

I’m going to get lost in questions and character stuff very quickly, so for the sake of making sense of what is going on in The Plan, bullet points are my new friends.

Jaws and Cartman are were contained

Scouts are closing off the streets and killing enemy combatants

Civilian casualties are considered un-ideal--officially

Lamps are being positioned on high buildings

The plan is contingent on disabling the War Hammer Titan ‘in time’

Eren nomming the War Hammer is in his book as a Good End

Survival is emphasized over everything else

My guess is that no one wanted this (whatever it is) to turn into a Titan brawl. If everything had gone according to plan and stayed that way, Pieck and Galliard would be imprisoned, no Marlyean soldiers would be left alive within the internment zone, and the War Hammer and an impressive number of prominent government officials would be dead.

Currently, the Panzer Unit is live, Galliard’s running about, War Hammer is not contained, and the Beast Titan is here.

The Beast Titan would have appeared either way (like the lamps, which have me wondering if Armin is showing up), because no steps were taken to contain him. Both sides have been counting on the Beast Titan to be available in the coming something or other.

Zeke has been kept in the shadows as far as a lot of his feelings on things. He disdains war and copes by treating it as a game, and he loves his family. The inner workings of all of that isn’t readily available, making him a potential wildcard. Since Eren’s taken up baseball, the thought of something being up with him has been a topic of active discussion.

If things went as planned, the Survey Corps + Eren would have unfettered access to Zeke. Titan holder, primary instrument of the most vile Marley offenses, and someone with royal blood. Only two people alive can say that last one, and one of them is presumably still an ally to her military.

Confronting Zeke is a reasonable plan in most every category you could ask for. Wanting to face him in isolation makes perfect sense, and you can’t say that about many of the known quantities here. My questions are if what he knew what he would be walking into, if Eren wants something different from what the Scouts want out of him, and if Zeke’s commitment to Marley’s side is as plain as it looks.

Since the Yeager boys have been so hush hush about what they’re up to lately, I’m not very interested in speculating (Zeke’s face has Isayama lines, but to be fair, a lot of people just died, and he does dislike war), but I am looking forward to the answers.

...Well, I say that. However

If nothing comes of Galliard trusting Zeke’s presence to be a good thing while his frame emphasizes light next to Pieck’s silent shadow... I will be disappointed. If anyone’s keeping score, Eren’s frame is more of a midtone shadow. I believe Pieck’s is darker, but that could be an optical illusion since her frame is descending into darker tones, and Eren’s lighting is evenly dispersed within his frame.

And since there’s only three panels left on the page, the other people having flashlights on their faces are Magath and his surviving troops and Gabi.

Symbolism.

Or not, but I’d like it to be.

Let’s move on to angry children, also known as Gabi and Floch. With Gabi first because oh hell, kid. Kid. Her friends are dead. People she saw every single day on her way to achieving her greatest pride are dead. There’s no rhyme or reason to it that she understands, or even maybe could understand, given what Marley’s done to her, she’s still alive, and she’s angry.

We’ve seen that anger in the exact person it’s aimed at. Hopefully Gabi learns a thing or two from it, preferably without getting killed in the process. Her cousin’s still MIA (Reiner is either having a horrific mental breakdown, going to go full Warrior mode and make everyone’s awkward planning more awkward by exploding out of the ground, or unconscious, and all of these choices make me feel really bad for Falco--who is a character who can still have a worst day of his life instead of stopping to debate which one was truly worst), and...

Gabi may have no problem committing war crimes to win a fight, but she’s a child who wants to be a Warrior so she can help her cousin. She’s not innocent in the usual sense that children are, but she is a child, and she has a very soft heart.

Sasha spares her life, but Gabi’s living a nightmare, and the devils of Paradis brought it to her.

-rewards Sasha a “You Tried” star-

Our other angry child should know better, but even though it hasn’t been explicitly stated, it’s basically been established that therapy does not exist in this world. Floch is where he was four years ago. He’s upset at the injustices he’s suffered, and willing to lash out at anything connected to what’s responsible.

Jean’s best feature as a leader has always been understanding people’s weakness. But I think with Floch, he’s found something of a barrier to communication. We’ve seen Jean try to talk to him before, and if their interaction here is anything to go by, he hasn’t stopped. Except as much as Jean knows about personal weakness, hate isn’t something I think he gets.

Arguably, it’s because he knows so much about personal weakness that his feelings don’t fester into something dangerous (Connie has a similar moment when he says he understands why someone would kill Sawney and Bean).

Jean sees the big picture. He knows there are more victims than just them here.

Floch sees his personal pain, and bleeds all over everyone. He’s destroying a zone full of people who have been more warped and abused than he has any empathy for, and feels he’s in the right because look at what they’ve done to us.

And look at what their side has done to someone like Gabi.

I don’t think the two situations are the same, thanks to Marley’s copious awfulness getting into every potential interaction both sides of Eldians can have, but the emotional response is easy to see:

These people did a horrible thing.

They should be punished.

Only the root cause of everything goes so much deeper than all of that, and it’s not something that can be fixed by lopping off flowers. Gabi is like. twelve, and her emotional trauma just happened. Floch is like. twelve, and he was getting by just fine before the mess he survived four years ago.

And it is painfully obvious how much that specific event has trained Floch’s thinking. He wants Erwin to survive the Serum Bowl because Erwin is the devil humanity needs to break them free of their cage.

He’s grown up since then. Humanity doesn’t need Erwin to be their devil. Humanity just needs a devil.

Look. Eren?

Floch_is_agreeing_with_things_you_did.

Mikasa is not.

Regardless of what this plan is, you have made your mistakes and they are many, and the first statement does keep in mind that those mistakes might very well be the whole point but come on.

This chapter is hard to read, and I really wanted to open this post saying thank you for Mikasa Ackerman’s existence, because I don’t think I have ever been more grateful to see her.

I haven’t bothered obfuscating how much I loathe Marley. I think their conduct is evil, and the world would be better off if they got wiped off the map. All those angry child feels from above are actively present when I consider what they’ve done with their nation.

One of the recurring... is it a theme? It feels like a theme, but it’s also sort of just a random thing I’m pointing out, and the language I want to use implies things about the story that I’m not sure is really an objective. In any case, something we see over and over again in this series is that monsters are human.

Gabi watches a whole squad of soldiers get demolished. Among them is a man who watches the gate she passes in order to train to be a Warrior. He treats her as a child more than an Eldian, and knows enough about each individual Warrior candidate ask about their progress and laugh about Falco’s crush.

He’s a human being.

The children he’s being friendly with have been coerced into indentured servitude and live in internment camps that are under constant watch, where leaving is punishable by--well, people like him. He’s a cog in an abhorrent machine. One small piece that helps keep it running.

Humans do evil things. You could probably have a lot of fun arguing that a human’s capacity for evil is part of what makes them human. Evil monsters aren’t always creatures beyond understanding or sympathy. Sometimes they’re just people who take the easy path that someone else burned down a forest to make.

You could also argue that part of what makes a human human is their capacity for goodness in the midst of evil. The guard spends the last moments of his life trying to keep a little girl safe.

I don’t like Marley, but I like seeing the sparks of decency in people start a flame. You want to believe that if people can be good to each other even when they’re covered in muck and sin, that goodness deserves a chance to make it out alive and flourish. You want to think that if everyone could just be convinced to be their best self, the world would be okay.

A lot of sparks are snuffed out during this attack.

Marley getting wiped off the map without devastation and heartbreak is a nice pipe dream, and I might still daydream about it or hand-wave things in fics, but regardless of my personal angry child feelings, there’s too much death here to feel good about any of this.

So I really, really appreciate that Mikasa Ackerman exists. She’s here for Eren, and she’s actively participating in this operation, but you can see her heart breaking at what’s been done. People are dead. Civilian people. Children. This is something that’s happened, and there’s no fixing it. There’s only pain at the result.

Mikasa is the stoic badass. But all she’s ever wanted is for her family to be at home with her. However she counts them, they’re what’s nearest and dearest to her heart. She has extraordinary combat skills, and if she could go the rest of her life without needing them, she would be happier.

Someone suggested that one of the Scouts present could be the little girl that Mikasa saves in Trost. I have no idea if that will pan out or not, but I love the idea.

The anime’s handling of Mikasa deciding to live during Trost is what hooked me in this series, but the moment with that little girl is one of my favorites for her. She charges in, kills a titan, threatens a dude, and leaves. Perfect hero is perfect even with only that, but the little girl and her mother, instead of running to evacuate now that they can, stop and thank her. And Mikasa turns back and salutes them.

Their salute in this world is meant to represent offering up their hearts to humanity. Mikasa has select few people she loves beyond all else, but whenever she steps in to fight, she does so wanting people to be safe. She feels her responsibility towards her comrades more keenly and openly than many of the characters we’re familiar with.

Mikasa’s line about the world being cruel, yet beautiful, is one of the more memorable ones in the series. As a theme, it’s marvelous, but as something that comes out of a character’s head, it’s... very gentle and touching. The world is cruel, but while it’s being cruel, there’s still warmth. Even from people who are now gone.

Mikasa is a kind person who gives small children her time and nearly cries at her friend’s joy when he finally gets to play in the ocean. She’s known terrible cruelty at the world’s hands, but she also loves the world’s beauty. It isn’t an empty acknowledgment. She sees it, and she feels it, and she fights for it.

What Eren just did is... abominable. She loves him, but... hell, every beautiful panel of Mikasa and Eren before the War Hammer gets back up is a testament to how much pain he’s caused, and how much heartbreak is involved.

Mikasa is compassionate, and this arc... really needs that.

Even if now I’m wondering if “Too Little, Too Late,” is referring to her instead of one of the larger sides. That title really works for anything you want to stick it to, since the phrase is basically shorthand for “everything’s fucked.”

This series has gotten painful in ways I didn’t exactly need it to.

Monthly serials hurt.

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK 102 #Mikasa Ackerman #shingeki no spoilers #SnK spoilers #spoilers #tl;dr #chapter post

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lethe-distillery-blog · 5 years

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The Angel

I slowly worked my way around other cars, looking out for people that weren't paying attention and assumed you were. Today, of all days, I could do without getting in an accident. Especially with some of the vehicles here. Something told me that an 'oops I'm sorry, I didn't see you there.' would work, even if they had hit me. I grumbled and waved a rather impatient looking man in front of me, it was just easier, though my road rage was definitely rearing its ugly head and my Slurpee wasn't cutting it anymore. Sugar rush could only do so much, to deal with morons like this I needed alcohol, and a lot of it. My foul mood had started when I had woken up to a flat tire, nothing serious, but still, a morning that I could have done without. Thank the gods that the coffee maker had worked or, Ray or not, I might have just flipped a bird to the day and went back to bed.

Seriously, I was here, I spared the briefest of looks to my watch, almost three hours early, it really shouldn't be this busy. I nosed forward, careful, but yet insistent that yet, I was here first and yes jackass, you needed to wait. I sighed. Nothing quite like a hot summer day to make all the idiots come out to play. Worse was that these weren't even the spectators, I had hoped to avoid the worst by coming in early, silly me for thinking something as stupid as that. I took a long, gratifying sip of the icy treat and allowed myself the small amount of pleasure that came when the icy treat hit my mouth and exploded flavors of coke, cherry, and lemonade across my tongue. Mm. I pulled into a stall, ignoring the annoyed honk of someone else. I was here, in one piece, and my little Pontiac had managed to make it too. I settled for a few minutes, just breathing and being grateful I was out of the madness before I caught up my purse, tucked the keys in and was off to locate my charges.

"There you are," I couldn't help the full body shudder that slipped through my spine at his voice. It should be illegal to sound that sounded that good, smooth, like an ice cold beer on a hot day it was the very definition of a fuck-me voice. A warm body engulfed me from behind, and if it wasn't for the kisses he planted from my ear down my neck and across the skin of my bare shoulder I would have kicked him somewhere that we both might need later. As it was, I sighed in pleasure and moved into him, despite the scorching heat, and savored the feel of him wrapped around me. I had missed him. More than I had ever thought possible really. And given his tight hold, his kisses, and the erection I felt pressing against my back I knew he missed me too, even if we didn't speak so many words.

We spent a long moment there, me wrapped in his arms, and forcing others to walk around us. I savored him there, savored his soft butterfly kisses, savored the strength I felt in his hold, but mostly, I just savored this time with him. It had been all too rare lately. Between this event, and my own studying for finals our schedules had been hell. Though he made sure to call me every night, he knew how clingy I could be, and he always made sure that he told me goodnight. I loved him, for that, and so many other reasons. Finally, I pulled away, but only to turn and face him and drink my fill.

My guy wasn't every woman's dream, but that didn't make me any less keen on drinking my fill of him. He wasn't that super ripped hunk that comes in romance novels, he wasn't wealthy beyond measure, he was just perfectly, and exquisitely him. He was a tall man, just a little over six feet and a bit heavier despite his best attempts to diet though I didn't see the reason why, sure he wasn't lean but I highly doubted that he would ever reach that, even if he did lose weight, it just wasn't in his body structure. Still, I did my best to be encouraging to him in whatever he pursued. Ray's hand was still on me and though it was even more heat I savored the connection that held us together. I offered him the icy treat, seeing the tricking sweat that started in the thick curls on his head before sliding down the glistening caramel skin. I followed it with my eyes, wanting nothing more than to kiss it off him.

"I have no idea why you mix the flavors, they're perfectly fine on their own." I laughed at his age old complaint about my treat, though I had reminded him on several occasions, that that had yet to stop him from stealing some. He smiled at me and we shared a kiss, his lips and tongue delectably cooled as I tasted what my treat tasted like with his essence. Marvelous. No other word for it. We broke apart, breathing heavily, even from such a simply intimate kiss. "Soon." His voice came out ragged, "we need to fix this soon."

"I did offer," I teased him knowing full well that my offer for a fun night had definitely been out of the schedule for him, though I had enjoyed sending him some rather risque photos of myself for him to enjoy. 'Just to stay in practice.' I had called it and gauging by the flash I saw in his dark eyes, I knew he remembered it too.

"So you did pet," his voice was a low growl and I shivered at the sensation, moving with him as he took my hand and started leading me through the crowd, he pulled me against him as much to keep me with him as to protect me. "and I plan on making sure that you don't think me lacking because of my having to decline." Him? Lacking? I could have laughed if I didn't think it would have bruised his ego. My man was certainly not lacking, in anything.

"There you are!" I almost jumped at the booming voice of Sam, no matter how many times I heard him his voice sounded like they had wired a megaphone into him somewhere. I let go of Ray's hand and waved over my head so then Sam could see me through the crowd. "Ah!" his voice held a laugh in it, "so that's what took you so long!" As we broke through the crowd I saw him. He was a squat man for having a voice so loud, not much taller than me but weighed about three times as much if I was being liberal. His face broke into a broad smile and I hugged him, as much as my arms could wrap around him anyway. "There you are girl, was worried you wouldn't make it!"

I laughed, "like I would miss the chance to see all of you!" I indicated the entire ensemble in a flourish as they came out to see what was going on. Still, it was wonderful to know that they wanted me there too, not that they had ever given me a reason to think otherwise, self-doubt can kill things long before you ever give them a chance to start. Eden came over and I gasped, Sam instantly forgotten as I hugged what would be the closest thing I had to a girlfriend and cooed at the child on her hip. "Hey there runt!" Travis was grinning wide, the afternoon sun glinting off a couple pearly whites that had come in. Christ, he was getting so big. Conrad, Scott, and Teo, Travis' father, came and said hello giving me a quick, awkward hug to avoid their grease stains, before going back to work though Teo, grinning like any proud father kissed his girlfriend on the cheek and ruffled his son's hair much to the chagrin of his mother. They were one big happy family. And I had been welcomed into it.

I looked for Ray and found him, smiling as he watched me as he went over a few final last minute things with Sam. Though Ray technically owned and ran Metatron he and Sam had known each other all throughout their growing up years and so he let Same take lead on most point given Sam's loud, and infectious, personality where Ray preferred to hang back and get all the details. They worked well as a team and had Sam been a couple hues lighter they could have been mistaken for brothers how they interacted with one another. "So," Eden's soft voice broke through my thoughts and I looked back at the beautiful blonde, "Think you'll be a teacher before for when Travis gets to school?" Effectively distracted, I only saw Ray when I searched for him amidst conversation, just wanting to see him.

"Can't believe they let just anyone in here!" I looked up as Sam called out, Eden having taken back Travis as he decided that my Slurpee looked like a yummy treat and I figured that that much sugar on that small of a body would likely be a very bad thing. I grinned seeing the two approaching figures. Ezekiel and Kelsey stepped forward and again, everyone piled out amidst good-natured grumblings and pats on the back, the wife-to-be was positively radiant and was couldn't help showing off her ring letting Eden and me ooh over it appreciatively. Zeke had good taste, no denying that. It was a beautiful white diamond in the center, but surrounding it, built into the band itself, were the other eleven birthstones. so there wasn't a single month that his wife wouldn't feel how loved she was. It was a beautiful sentiment and I couldn't help but look at Zeke with a new appreciation.

"Is Zeke riding today?" Eden asked looking at the helmet gripped in Kelsey's hand and I looked at her startled. Even though Zeke took care of all of his own repairs, except for emergencies on the track, it was usually Teo that helped him, and he did race under the Metatron banner. If anyone should know it was Eden.

"No," Kelsey shook her head with a smile. "We just came out to support you all." I didn't miss the relieved expression that haunted her eyes, and didn't exactly blame her. She loved being on a bike but having her husband to be flying down the strip that close to the ground, even with all the safety precautions, was nerve-wracking. I understood her fears completely. "has anyone seen anything to eat? We were in a bit of a hurry getting over here, we wanted to beat the rush."

I laughed at the thought. "This isn't the rush yet?"

Eden chuckled, "You know better, wait until the general public shows up, Travis won't be able to sneeze without contaminating like eight of them." She called back over her shoulder to where the men worked in the mobile garage, getting everything perfect. "Me and the ladies are going to find something to eat, ya'll want anything?"

Teo disentangled himself from the group amid shouts of burgers and fries and came over to give Eden a hug and check on Travis once more, Ray winked at me from where he stood talking with Sam and Zeke, deciding that he'd stick around and see if he could be helpful, Zeke did warn us ladies to stay out of trouble. Kelsey just rolled her eyes, and looped arms with me on her right and Eden on her left before dragging us into the surging mass of people to go find some food before everything got crazy busy.

It was a scorcher today, thankfully Eden had packed lots of bottled water in ice in the company coolers. We didn't have to worry about seats, companies reserved a section of seats for their staff to use and though it would be a little snug with the addition of Zeke and Kelsey it would still be plenty for all of us to use. Metatron's prize stood glistening lazily in the sun, hood up for all the passersby to enjoy the glistening chrome and a beautiful deep purple paint that always reminded me of just before the stars came out. The 1972 Monte Carlo was a looker, I had driven it with Ray on occasion and people had always taken pictures of it. Today was no exception as Scott and Sam fielded questions by onlookers and Zeke and Ray got dragged away on occasion by an avid fan to take a selfie or sign something. It's not like they were famous but word was getting out at least. Well, that and Zeke was known for Beast. His own company, a smaller, private shop for motorcycles. Things had really picked up for him the last couple years and from what Kelsey said, he couldn't be happier.

The burgers and fries were delicious and I savored some cuddle time before we got up and headed over to the strip and I eyed the affectionately titled Christmas Tree, or just the tree. The glowing lights were judge, jury, and executioner for a driver. Ray looked over at Sam, "Standard Tree?"

"Yeah, nothing special today." I was getting better at understanding the lingo that was thrown around the place. Standard Tree meant that the way the lights lit up was the standard. Five-tenths of a second between amber bulbs before the green light was flashed. Up until me and Ray started seeing each other and he brought me around the strip I had been naive of the sport, sure I knew cars, I had grown up around them and my father helped restore some classics but around here I had learned a lot. I looked around, making sure to stay holding hands with Ray so I didn't wander off too much. I doubted I would find him again in this claustrophobic nightmare and I also had my doubts about getting cell service given the number of people that were arriving. Finding our seats we got comfortable, sipping at water, people watching, or watching the waves of heat rise off the asphalt.

Other teams arrived so Ray and Sam decided to be neighborly and engage in small talk, I knew the drill, didn't mean I liked being separated from him but I knew why he did what he did. Besides, I needed to talk to Kelsey. "So, did you tell your father yet?"

She did a quick look around to make sure everyone besides Zeke was out of earshot, Eden was the closest but was listening to Scott telling a story of some fish he had almost caught last weekend. Besides Eden and Ray, I was the only one that knew her and Zeke's secret. "No, and I don't know how well he'll take it." She sighed, her thumb unconsciously stroking over her beautiful ring. I hadn't meant to make her sad. "Miranda I don't think will care, it's not like she ever even checks up on Zeke." She grumbled, her voice annoyed with her stepmother, "he might as well be an orphan, only Lincoln," her middle brother, "ever calls to see how he's doing. I don't know if he's put the pieces together but I know that he knows we're close. Just if he knows how close is the question."

I hugged my friend, my heart breaking for their pain. Step-Siblings, by a fluke chance really and because of that, they were terrified that their respective parent would accept or bless their union. I had no doubt that Ezekiel would do everything he could to make sure that if Kelsey was cut off by her father but I also knew that Kelsey loved her family, even if she complained about them getting all up in her business. However, I had no worried that Zeke would take care of her, no matter what. I gave her a squeeze before pulling away. "You know Zeke will make sure you're happy."

Kelsey's lips formed a smile, "He already makes me happy, more than I ever thought I could be." There was a shadow in her eye, and I knew she was just worried, but she did have all of us here. Zeke, as if sensing something was wrong covered her hand just as Ray and Sam came back as the announcer's voice came over the intercom and what started a wonderful afternoon of us holding hands and watching the cars on the quarter mile.

I was nearly dozing against his shoulder when Ray started moving to get ready for their heat. It was just a perfect combination of greasy food, the hot sun, and the smells cars made. The burnt rubber, the smell of fuel and coolant. So far they had only had one fire but even that was a manageable one and no one had been hurt. I was grateful, I would rather today go off without a problem, I knew how much Ray had been looking forward to it. Zeke was the only male left as everyone got up to go, Ray gave me a gentle kiss and he murmured an "I love you against my lips and squeezed my hand. My heart both melted and tensed, it was a weird flip-flop emotion, knowing that he loved me was wonderful, but I was terrified I would never see him again.

Knowing my fear Kelsey dragged me into a conversation with her and Eden as they discussed wedding ideas, Zeke seemingly content to sit there and listen with a smirk as we discussed colors, dress styles, and location. Definitely outside, and some photos with them on his Beast, as they affectionately called his motorbike. It was a beautiful piece of machinery and since they rode it so often I figured that it would look really cute in wedding photos, almost like a horse.

In fact, the other girls did such a great job distracting me that I didn't even notice the passage of time until "Metatron Garage!" was called over the loudspeakers. I jumped up with the others and clapped and cheered with the rest of the crowd as the glistening purple beast roared in. Ray did it to show off of course, the others walking in behind him, Eden making sure to have Travis wave for Daddy, it was adorable, even though the sight of him did make my pulse jump around a bit in fear. Kelsey took my hand and squeezed comfortingly.

The two cars, the other was a beautiful silver blue Mustang, disappeared in the customary cloud of smoking rubber that up until I had spent some time with Ray I thought was done to show off. In fact, it was used to warm up the tires and provide better traction. Not exactly sure why it was needed today, I was surprised that the rubber wasn't melting onto the track. I took a sip of water, trying to calm my nerves. Still, it was overwhelming. I watched the lights, my breath coming out in short shallow gasps and my hand clutching Kelsey's as the lights lit. And within a second they were off with loud roars of raw power and squealing rubber. They took off down the track, Ray's tires lifting slightly but not enough to impede him. We followed them and I breathed a sigh of relief as they finished. 7.23. That was a good time. I smiled shakily to try and reassure Kelsey. It was the best of three, loser would leave, and winner would move on to the next bracket, try again, and so on. Thankfully it was spread over all weekend, I didn't think my heart could handle much more than three heats per day maximum, that was even if Ray got to Sunday anyway.

On the second run the Mustang won 7.20 to our 7.22, still we clapped, it was a gentlemanly sport and poor showmanship wasn't tolerated. So it was down to the wire. Final run. I looked down to the car, ten rows below, not even a hundred feet, and I could swear I saw Ray looking at me. I blew him a shaky kiss but smiled as much as I could, he needed me strong, not some fragile nut case. Still, my nerves were raw as I watched in anticipation. Three, two, one. They went! A flash of red. Oh no! It took me a long time to realize that it wasn't on our side. The Mustang, Daniel Motors, had redlighted! They had jumped the green! We won! We all whooped and hugged each other, Zeke wrapping us all in a big hug. Sure, it was the first day, but every victory has to start somewhere right?

I hugged Ray extra tight as he came back a long while later to much back pounding and hugs, "I'm so proud of you!" I whispered loudly in his ear and cupped his cheeks in my palms before kissing him long and hard amidst hoots and laughter from the others around us. Honestly, only now that he was in my arms could I breathe properly again. I held his hand the rest of the day as we watched the races, enjoying it even more knowing we'd see more tomorrow. And only as the sun started fading into hues of oranges, red, and blues was the day brought to a close. I knew they could run all night if they had wanted to but I was grateful that they had decided to stretch it over the three days instead of try and pack it into two. I doubted I would have stayed awake much longer. Not really tired but it really was the perfect weather to find a warm sunny patch and catch a nap.

Dinner was a brief affair, Travis needed to get going to bed, so we enjoyed the local steakhouse that Sam had reserved us a table at. We enjoyed some succulent steaks, grilled to perfection with mashed potatoes and green beans with some delightful conversations and catching up before we all retired for the night with promises of being there at five thirty sharp to make sure everything was perfect on the Monte Carlo for the next day.

Ray pressed me against the flimsy door of the holiday trailer we used when we were on the road. It was built for one really but it wasn't like we were separated all that often and he rarely had to cook more than breakfast in the confined space. I shivered, feeling his hot breath tickle down my neck, my nipples growing hard in anticipation. "I've been wanting to do this forever." He growled in my ear, his fingers sliding over my neck, teasing the broad expanse of bare skin that my tube top left exposed.

I shuddered, unable to stop myself as I looked up at him. "What's stopping you?" I was being cheeky and I knew it but as his lips collided with mine I knew that I was going to enjoy this. His fingers gnarled in my hair and yanked me even tighter against his chest.

Our lips pressed against each other, sumo wrestlers fighting for dominance over the other, our tongues tangling in a wildly sensual dance. I moaned into it, savoring his own low groan of pleasure as I slid my hands over his delectable body. He pressed me in place, holding me there with his much larger body, our kiss a thing of passion and longing. Desperate and hungry. He pulled back, panting hard, "You're lucky I like when you wear this shirt or I would rip this in half to get it off of you." I couldn't do much more than smile wickedly at him and lift my arms so he could pull it off me and throw it, already forgotten, onto the small kitchen table. "Fuck." The word came out on a groan of pleasure and I smiled, glad he enjoyed what he saw. It wasn't exactly lingerie in the traditional sense. But it was a tiny scrap of cloth that was sold as a bikini and it barely covered much. However, if he enjoyed that. I moved away, as much as I could, and stripped off the jean shorts I had been wearing, making sure I turned as I threw them on the table with my top. "Holy," the word was a low growl as he pressed himself over me, the bare cheeks of my ass scraped by his jeans the thong bottom doing nothing to protect them, "shit."

"Mm," I breathed out, feeling his large hands kneading my breasts fondly, his mouth back on my neck, teeth grazing the sensitive skin there. I shuddered. "I take it that you like them?" He tweaked my nipples and I moaned, not even caring if anyone else heard us at this point, I was so desperate for him.

"You," his breathing was hot and moist as it slid over my skin, "have no idea."

"Show me." I whimpered, pressing back into him. "Please."

He moved and shoved me onto the bed and I looked up at him, spreading my legs, inviting him to take what he wanted from me, I was already so hot and wet for him, it had been far too long. "With pleasure." It came out as a sensual growl that teased me more than any sort of foreplay. I pressed the thong aside and spread my lips for him, to show him exactly how hot and wet I was for him already. "Jesus woman, you know what you do to me." It was a statement, not a question.

I looked to the erection straining at his jeans and licked my lips longingly. "I think I have an idea." He stripped quickly, I pulled my own scant remainders off, I wanted nothing separating us as he took me, not this time. I watched him hungrily, massaging my own breasts, my fingers teasing the nipples, wishing it was him but knowing how turned on it got him to watch me playing with myself. "Please," I was so close to begging, watching him slide the condom on over his thick shaft, I nearly groaned just watching him, "hurry."

"I'll never deny you."

His voice was a sensual growl in my ear as he positioned himself over me, his skin so much darker than mine as he slid himself in. I moaned out load, throwing my head back as I felt him spread me, "Oh gosh, yes," I wrapped my legs around his hips and jerked him hard against me, "just like that baby."

His seductive laugh was a thousand miles away, "Absolutely perfect." It came out on a breath and I could not deny the same, we were perfect together. "However," his voice was slightly strangled sounding, "we can't have you disturbing everyone around us." His hand slid over my throat and tightened and I felt my whole body shake.

"Yes," I moaned, "just like that."

His hips slammed into me and I felt speared in half, shuddering beneath him as he withdrew before slamming into me again, My breasts bounced, nipples raking across his chest making my back arch, eager for more, desperate for him. I met him thrust for thrust, feeling his hot mouth take a nipple into his mouth and suck hard. Oh fuck yes, this is exactly what I needed, him, hard, just like this. Could do with some rope but I'd take what I got at this point, anything with him was perfect.

He thrust into me, harder, the thrusts growing more erratic as he came closer and closer to climax. "Come on baby, touch yourself, I need you to be there with me." I shuddered and moaned, moving one hand down my chest, sliding over the diamond hard nipples, pinching them, toying with them, before it slid down farther. Past my tummy, feeling his hot skin slam against mine, it was exquisite feral pleasure at it's finest. I took a few heartbeats to fondle him, to feel his hard shaft driving in and out of my sex, again, and again. It was so hard, so soft, like silk lined steel. However, as his breathing grew more ragged I slid my hand back and allowed my fingers to find the hard nub of nerves and started to work my clitoris. My whole body sparked alive, shuddering as pleasure arched through my body like I was a live electrical wire. "Mm fuck yes baby," his voice came irregularly, "just like that, fuck yes."

I felt my entire body tightening down on him, my own climax approaching so fast I felt nearly steam rolled by it as it worked its way through my system. "Oh gosh baby, I'm going to cum!" And so I did, wrapping my legs around him, his hand moving to my mouth to cut back my scream as my whole back arched into him, his hips slamming into me. I could hear the grinding of teeth as he fought his own sounds of pleasure and release.

I collapsed, seeing stars dancing in my vision as Ray fell over me. I relished his weight, his limp body trusting me to hold him as he shuddered on top of me. I stroked his back softly feeling the perspiration on his skin. "You look so beautiful when you cum for me." I breathed softly, feeling his smile against my shoulder. Unlike most men, he wasn't ever intimidated when I called him beautiful, as though it were some effeminate word.

Groaning with the effort he finally pulled from me, shifting just enough to dispose of the condom and then flop back into bed. I laughed but joined him there. Curling against his side and feeling the rapid pounding of his heart starting to slow and I traced over his skin, loving the feel of him beneath my fingertips.

"That was a beautiful ring that Zeke bought for Kelsey." He breathed, pulling a sheet over us so we at least felt covered. I nodded my agreement. "Did they tell the parental units yet?" I shook my head, feeling drowsiness starting to claim me, my eyelids feeling like they weighed a ton. "I don't envy that discussion." I didn't either. I yawned, though I did try and hold it back. "Goodnight beautiful, I love you."

"I love you too."

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