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clericofshadows · 4 months

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respite

Description: After a long day of being Commander Shepard, Regis just wants to spend time with his lovers... which turns into them giving him exactly what he wants.

Pairing: Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani/Male Shepard

Rating: E (Relevant tags: Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Spitroasting)

After taking off his boots, Regis stretched himself out on the bed, falling on top of the sheets with a sigh. Kaidan and Zaeed followed him, although Zaeed sat down on the couch while Kaidan seated himself at the desk next to their bed.

“Everything okay, love?” Kaidan asked.

Regis groaned, rolling on his back, staring up at the covered ceiling. “No. I’m so fucking tired of everyone’s bullshit.”

“Want us to do something about it?” Zaeed asked, and Regis heard a shift of fabric. Maybe he sat forward on the couch.

“Like what? Are you going to be able to get all the different leaders to fucking listen to each other instead of trying to save their own asses?” Regis said, careful to try and not direct his anger towards his boyfriends. “No, there’s nothing you can do.”

“Well, maybe there’s something we can do,” Kaidan said, getting up from the desk chair. “We’re off duty, EDI will let us know if there’s anything that needs our direct attention, and it’s been a while since we’ve all been able to relax. Let us take care of you.” He stopped at the bed.

Regis sat up quickly, not at all hiding his eagerness. “Yeah, I think that’s what I want right now. Zee?”

He got up from the couch with a groan, moving to join him on the bed. “I’m right there with you. Kaid, you taking the lead?”

Kaidan smirked but shook his head. “Not tonight. Regis, is there anything in particular you want?”

Regis closed his eyes. “Just the both of you. That’s all I ever want.”

“Someday, we’ll get you to outline exactly what you want,” Zaeed chuckled, moving in to pull him into a kiss. Regis melted into the embrace, letting him take the lead and push him against the pillows.

“I like to keep you two guessing,” Regis said in between kisses. “Kaidan, get over here.”

“So, you do want to be in charge,” Kaidan laughed as Regis moved forward so he could be in Kaidan’s lap. In the scramble to find a good position, Zaeed leaned over to claim Kaidan’s mouth as well, something much softer than what he and Regis just shared. Regis could just watch them at any time, seeing them love each other so openly.

“No, I’ll leave that role to the both of you most of the time,” Regis said with a roll of his eyes, despite knowing they were occupied. “An even playing field tonight. Just us, you know?”

“I get it,” Kaidan said after he and Zaeed broke apart, starting to kiss down Regis’s neck, leaving gentle touches and caresses around the back, paying special attention to his tattoo. “Hmm… would you like to be in the middle?”

Regis did, he loved being in the middle, a slave to the pleasure his lovers dished out. One partner fucking him while the other rides him, or sucks his dick, or fucks his mouth. And tonight… he wanted to be the source of his lovers’ pleasure, caught in a conduit of his own.

Zaeed started to unzip Regis’s jacket as he struggled to find the words. “Fine, you want me to be direct on what I want? Okay, Kaidan, I want you to fuck me while Zaeed fucks my mouth.”

Zaeed leaned in close, a grin forming on his face. “Baby, that sounds perfect.”

Kaidan nodded, helping Regis take off his jacket and toss it to the ground. “Good job, love, telling us what you want.” Regis blushed at his words, feeling his cheeks and face heat up, the praise going directly to his cock. “I’m more than okay with that. Been a while since you’ve been in the middle.”

“Need to rearrange our damn schedules, find a way to pencil in more time,” Regis said as they all started to get rid of their clothes, helping each other and sending appreciative and heated looks. “Maybe I can beg Hackett for some shore leave.”

Zaeed opened his mouth to say something, but Kaidan shut him up with a kiss. Regis really wanted to know what Zaeed was going to say, but another part of him thought it was for the best. He could appreciate the show between them, skin against skin, slowly moving his hand down to press against his covered cock, moving to finish removing his jeans but leaving his briefs on for now.

He knew they enjoyed taking them off for him.

They broke apart a moment later. Kaidan finished pulling off his boxers while Zaeed in front of him made a show of it, caressing his hand slowly down his chest before tugging them off. Regis settled back against Kaidan, letting him hold in place for Zaeed to tease. And oh, did he tease, placing kisses down his neck and chest, moving his fingers to pinch and tease at his nipples before Kaidan took his place, wrapping his arms around him to continue to tug and pull while Zaeed worked further down.

Regis moaned, gasping out their names when they did something he loved, locking his eyes with Zaeed’s as he finally, slowly, pulled his briefs off to free his hard, leaking cock. Zaeed pressed a kiss to the head, a sharp tease of pleasure that had Regis cursing his name.

“Get on your hands and knees for me, baby,” Zaeed said, now in a kneeling position on the bed, his thick thighs framing his thick cock so beautifully. Regis’s mouth watered.

He did as Zaeed asked, positioning himself where he was facing Zaeed, and his ass was facing Kaidan. Kaidan traced Regis’s tattoo on his back, the lines and wires of the cybernetic heart, before caressing down to the cleft of his ass.

He felt a twinge in the gravity well, and glanced back to see Kaidan floating over the bottle of lube they kept on the nightstand, as well as the box of condoms.

Kaidan set the products down on the bed. “What do you want, love?” he asked. “Easy clean up? Or do you want me to come inside you?”

Regis let out a breathy laugh. “Nah, I want it all. Make a mess out of me."

“Your wish is our command,” Zaeed said with a salacious grin. “Been a while since I’ve seen you utterly debauched and covered in pearls.”

God. Regis let out a moan at his comment, closing his eyes under Zaeed’s burning gaze.

He cupped his chin, bringing it upward. “Don’t close those pretty red eyes. I want that glowing gaze of yours on me the whole time.”

“Might be difficult with Kaidan fucking me,” Regis said, slowly blinking up at him. “And you pulling on my hair so I can choke on your dick.” He could feel his face burning at his own words, but he didn’t care.

“Is he blushing, Zee?” Kaidan asked with a breathy laugh, and Regis could feel his breath near his hole. “Can’t imagine him being straight faced and saying that shit to us.” He wondered if Kaidan was going to put his mouth on him, using that tongue of his to make him scream, but he pulled away before Regis could ask. Maybe next time.

“Bright as a goddamn tomato. I love you, Regis, but you give yourself away so easily.”

Regis rolled his eyes, choosing to say nothing to that other than a, “I love you too.” He doesn’t like letting it go unanswered.

“Green, love?” Kaidan asked, and Regis heard the sound of the pump clicking against the bottle.

“Green,” he affirmed, and let out a whine the moment Kaidan pressed a slick finger inside. “Kaid–”

“Shhh,” Kaidan shushed, working his finger in and out, circling it around his hole before plunging it back in. “This will take as long as it takes. Want to make you writhe and beg before I fuck you.”

Regis opened his mouth to reply, but Zaeed gripped his chin once more, keeping his mouth open even if he could close it at any time. “I think I’ll go ahead and shut him up. Give him what he wants so he can’t whine and complain about your goddamn prep.”

“But I won't get to hear his beautiful noises as I stretch him loose,” Kaidan purred, pressing another slick finger inside. Regis shivered and gasped at the sensation, calling out his name and pleading for more. Kaidan ignored him and continued to go at his usual pace. “Patience is a virtue.” A statement for him and Zaeed.

“Remember who you're talking to, babe.” Zaeed started to stroke his cock right in front of Regis's face, the head weeping with pre-come, a tantalizing sight and tease of what's to come.

“I am. It's all the sweeter when you wait,” Kaidan continued, stretching him further, pushing another finger inside. Regis squirmed and pushed back on his fingers, moaning at the sensation and wanting more, wanting him, trying to reach that bundle of nerves inside.

“Kaidan, please,” Regis moaned, gripping the sheets tightly and doing everything in his power to not pay attention to his own neglected cock. “Zee, tell him.”

“Do as our Commander says,” Zaeed said, voice rough with lust. “Or I'll start shutting him up.”

Kaidan only laughed, removing his fingers. Regis whined at the loss, wiggling his ass and goading Kaidan to just fuck him already. “Fine, fine.” Regis spread his legs as wide as he could, shutting his eyes as Kaidan spread his cheeks further apart.

And then, he felt the slick head of his cock against his hole, slowly sinking in with a perfect stretch. Regis moaned as he sunk inside, the base of his cock hitting his ass. Kaidan thrusted his hips slightly, brushing up roughly against his prostate. Regis begged, “Kaid–Zee–fuck me, please. I need you both.”

At that moment, Zaeed finally fed him his cock, sliding past his parted lips and sinking into the heat of his mouth. The stretch of his ass and his lips around his lovers providing everything he needed, everything he wanted. A conduit for his lovers’ pleasure and his own.

Kaidan started to thrust harder, moving his hips and hitting that spot inside him that made him shudder and moan around Zaeed's cock. Kaidan's hands grabbed at his hips, sinking his fingers into the skin, surely giving him marks and bruises but Regis didn't care. The motion of every thrust caused Zaeed's cock to go deeper into the tight heat of his mouth.

Zaeed found his rhythm, timing his thrusts with Kaidan's. All Regis could do was moan around Zaeed’s cock in his mouth and push back against Kaidan, trying to keep his eyes focused on him, abiding by his request to show off his pretty eyes, glowing red pinpricks in the low light of the cabin. Zaeed seemed to appreciate it, cupping his face gently and rubbing a thumb against the cybernetic lines on his face.

“He was made to take our cocks so well,” Kaidan said, his voice low with pleasure, letting out a grunt of his own as he continued to roll his hips. “So tight for me, love.”

Regis let out a muffled whine as Zaeed tugged at his curls. “He sure was, wasn’t he? He ruined me for anyone else after Omega.”

He loved when they talked about him, even more when he couldn't respond, only able to sit there and take it.

“Listen to him. He loves it,” Kaidan purred. “Let’s drive him even more crazy. It’s a shame he wanted to suck your cock. I think I would’ve had him screaming by now.”

Above him, Kaidan and Zaeed leaned in to claim each other's mouth as they continued to fuck him, moaning and gasping into their heated kiss.

Regis continued to work Zaeed's cock and push back against every thrust, his own dick leaking pre-come onto the sheets. He wanted to idly grip his cock, to snake down his chest and finish himself off, but he also wanted to come only because of his lovers.

A dilemma with too many delicious outcomes.

Soon, their thrusts started to become erratic, and Regis felt his biotics react to Kaidan's, purple and blue becoming entwined together. “Regis–fuck, I'm going to come,” he warned.

Regis answered by grunting around Zaeed's cock, pushing back to let Kaidan know that's what he wanted. Kaidan pummeled him faster, erratic thrusts that soon stilled when he shouted Regis's name, a burst of heat and wetness coming deep inside him along with a biotic flare that rushed through him.

And then, as Kaidan continued to shallowly thrust inside him, nudging his prostate, Regis came untouched, his eyes rolling back into his head as he screamed, the feeling of being the one who did this to his lovers pushing him over the edge, his biotics flaring out in a rush of purple, dark energy flowing through him and heightening his pleasure and bliss. He distantly heard the sound of items rattling on shelves, an unstable burst of power.

Without any warning, Zaeed also shouted his name, pulling his dick out of his mouth and grasping it as he stroked himself to his own orgasm, ropes of come hitting his face in pearly white drops. Regis stuck out his tongue and closed his eyes, groaning at the lewd sensation.

Zaeed cradled his face and activated his omnitool, pushing his chin up and taking a picture of Regis. His hair was plastered to his face, and his beard was covered in come, dripping down his face and body. Regis licked his lips and whined at the overstimulation of Kaidan still inside him, warming his cock until Zaeed was done.

“You're so goddamn beautiful like this,” Zaeed purred, showing him the picture.

He took a couple photos. A close up of his ruined face. A wider angle showing Kaidan still buried deep inside him, a possessive hand on his hip. Enough to give a hint of his face in the photo, the dark stubble on his chin just showing in a corner.

Kaidan hummed appreciatively as he slowly eased out of him, and Regis immediately felt the sensation of come and lube seeping out of his ass and running down his thigh. “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” he rasped out. “Happy. Love you both.”

“We love you too,” Kaidan said, reaching out for the box of tissues. “Let's get you a little cleaned up?”

Regis slowly sat up and surged forward to kiss Kaidan with his come-stained lips. Kaidan gasped in surprise before taking the lead, breaking apart to kiss at a spot of come on his cheek. “Enough of that. I'm not you.”

Regis only grinned, licking his lips.

“Spoilsport,” Zaeed snorted.

“Hey, I know what I like, he knows what he likes,” Regis rasped. “But I'm not moving anytime soon, so…”

Kaidan laughed, grabbing the box of tissues and placing it on the bed, pulling a few out to pass out to his lovers. Regis took a few and started to wipe down his chest to catch the stray droplets of his own release that mostly ended up on the sheets. While Kaidan started to wipe away some of the come and lube running down his legs, Zaeed helped Regis clean up his face, kissing him softly on the lips and licking up some of his own release before getting the rest wiped off with a tissue.

Regis felt Kaidan’s gaze on them, whimpering as Kaidan wiped a tissue against his sensitive hole. “I need a shower after this,” Regis groaned, wincing at how rough his throat felt.

Zaeed furrowed his eyebrows. “Shit, was I too rough? Need me to get something for your throat?”

“I wanted it that way, don’t apologize. But… some tea would be nice,” he said softly.

“Why don’t you two get cleaned up in that shower of ours, and I’ll get you your goddamn tea,” Zaeed said, stretching and standing up from the bed.

“You aren't going to wash up before heading down?” Kaidan asked with a raised eyebrow.

Zaeed shrugged. “I don't have any come on my face or in my ass or lube on my dick. Hell, it's not like the whole ship isn't aware of what we do up here.”

Regis couldn't exactly argue with that, and neither did Kaidan. Kaidan shrugged and pulled a face before waving him off. Zaeed grinned and started pulling on his stolen fatigue pants and his sleeveless turtleneck before putting his boots back on.

Enough to be a little presentable, at the very least. Regis belatedly realized those were Kaidan's fatigues, which were a little tight on him. Kaidan seemed to like it, the way he looked at him appreciatively.

Regis isn't the only one who likes it when they share.

“I'll be back in a few. Want anything other than tea?”

Regis shook his head, but Kaidan said, “I know there's some fruit in the fridge. Grab some of it, please.”

“Not a problem.” He left the cabin.

Regis looked expectantly at Kaidan and motioned for him to pick him up. He rolled his eyes and obliged anyway, picking him up in a bridal carry to their shower. They shared a quick kiss before putting him back down, indulging Regis.

Kaidan took special care of him as always as they washed up, massaging Regis's curls and getting him cleaned up thoroughly. Any other time, Regis would've returned the favor, but they both knew how exhausted he was, worn out and spent by his lovers and by the busy day of being Commander Shepard.

Eventually, they were done washing up, sp Kaidan went ahead and started stripping down the sheets after throwing on some loungewear. Regis relaxed on the couch, trying to keep from dozing off after he pulled on a pair of his favorite joggers. It was still somewhat early in the evening, and he knew he would be waking up a lot earlier if he went to sleep now.

Wrapping himself in the blue and yellow knit blanket his mother made for Kaidan and Zaeed, he waited for Zaeed to get back and for Kaidan to get their bed back in order.

It was taking him a while to be back, he realized as he reached for his datapad to scroll and check on a few things before they all pile up again. Then again, with the right person, Zaeed could be a little chatty.

Even Kaidan gave him a look once he joined him on the couch. “Didn't think it took that long to make your favorite tea.”

Regis shrugged, resting his head on his shoulder, smiling as Kaidan wrapped an arm around him. “Or get your fruit.”

“Our fruit. You're eating something other than just tea.”

“Yes, love.”

At that, the doors to the cabin finally opened, Zaeed carrying a drink holder with three mugs of piping hot drink and a container of fruit. He sat it down on the table and pointed at both of them with a laugh. “You would not believe the conversation I had with Adams.”

Widening his eyes, Regis immediately knew what this was about. And the way Kaidan sighed next to him, he did too. Both of their flares were… quite powerful. It’s been more than a few days since they’ve gone on any missions and done any serious training with their biotics.

Sometimes if they hadn't used their biotics in a while, their flares became a lot more volatile, true beings of dark energy that aren't as controlled or as precise as their usual biotics.

And, well, it's also been a few days since they've been able to spend this kind of time together, so that probably hasn't helped.

Regis reached for his mug of tea, housed in a mug with an intricate tree carving not unlike the tattoo on his right arm. He took a long sip, staring at Zaeed and watching his grin grow wider. He cleared his throat, enjoying the soothing feeling the tea gave him. “I guess we caused one hell of an eezo spike and engineering thought it was a core problem.”

“Well, part of engineering,” Zaeed continued, joining them on the couch and settling their blanket over him, sitting next to Kaidan. “Adams knew what was going on and informed the newer crew of what he called ‘biotic discharge’ and left it at that for the crew to pick up on. He went up to talk to Wren about it and well… expect some knowing looks tomorrow and lots of shit eating grins.”

Regis and Kaidan tried to be at least a little discreet on the SR-1, even after putting in the authorization to make their relationship valid and not actionable under fraternization rules. The XO’s quarters were right behind the Captain’s quarters, and well… they knew how their biotics can react, harder to control in the depths of pleasure.

Regis had a fun conversation with Adams about it after one such flare that raised a few questions and concerns.

“You think Adams has put up that board again?” Kaidan said as he reached for the container of fruit, handing Regis a spare fork with a pointed look to actually eat something. Regis took it with a roll of his eyes.

He remembered Adams putting up a simple board that said: Days since last false positive caused by Biotic Fields. And then his expression when Regis saw it and laughed, probably fearing he would be offended by it. Instead, he took a picture of it with his omnitool, patted Adams on the shoulder, and felt his cheeks burning as Adams shook him off with a laugh.

Sometimes, he really missed that damn ship. Lesser stakes. Smaller crew. No Reaper War to worry about… but Zaeed wasn't there.

“Probably. Tali asked me about it back on the Cerberus ship,” Regis said with a wry grin. “And I told her there’s only one biotic that I’m aware of who has a risk of flaring, so it would be unnecessary.”

Kaidan chuckled. “Those were the days. I’ll never forget her reaction when we fucked up the outputs right before Ilos.”

Regis laughed. “I started to feel a little bad because she was so worried.”

“And here I thought I was pulling your legs,” Zaeed said with a sigh. “But it is good to know that I could bring the both of you to that kind of fucking brink.”

“Only if we haven’t been out in the field for a while,” Kaidan reminded him with a knowing look.

“Then I’ll just need to make sure to keep you two pent up.” Zaeed made no move to hide the lust underneath the gravel of his voice. Damn him and his ideas.

“Do it later,” Regis said, narrowing his eyes at him. “Maybe when we don’t have a ship’s core to worry about.”

“It’s so fun though,” Kaidan admitted with a smirk, leaning his head on Regis. “Letting loose… forgot how good it feels.”

Still trying to stay as much in control as he can. Despite everything Regis has tried to do to make him accept BAaT, to accept what they can do, old habits remain.

And a small part of Regis can’t quite blame him.

“What you do on the fucking battlefield doesn’t count?” Zaeed asked with a chuckle. “I’ll never understand you biotic types.” “We’re just special,” Regis rasped in between sips of tea. “And with that, I’m staying quiet.” He punctuated his statement by grabbing a piece of fruit and shoving it in his mouth.

Zaeed, again, looked a little concerned by that. Big old softie. He didn’t say anything though. Regis saw Kaidan reach out for him, and they all descended into a bit of a cuddle pile on the too-small couch for three grown men.

They really should move back to the bed, enjoy their drinks and snacks until they get ready for bed and whatever the next day brings. But now?

Regis enjoyed the post-coital bliss of spending time with his partners, soaking in the love they have for each other, remaining strong in this war that could end everything.

#mass effect #kaidan alenko #regis shepard #zaeed massani #masshenko #male shepard #cleric's writing #this is so self-indulgent but that's the best kind of smut #anyway finally put the three of them in bed #they deserve it

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illusivesoul · 1 year

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Writer's Game: First Sentences

Was tagged by @mtreebeardiles and @galfrey Thank you :) I'll tag @mxkelsifer @ineedmyknightcommander @venatohru @uchidachi @natsora and @quietborderline Only if you feel like doing this, of course.

Rules: post the first sentence of your last ten fics. If you haven't written ten fics, share as many first-sentences as you have. These are all wips cause i dont have finished stories among the last 10 fics ive written in google docs. 1. Been a Long Time, Comrade (RE4 fic) - "Leon thought he was used to the heat" 2. Kansas City Chronicles (Last of Us fic) - "Being on leave was never easy for Perry" 3. Seb Blackwall - “It’s been some time since we’ve gotten such a heartstopping victory at the tourney" 4. JosieLeli family drama - "The sound of the banticelli being played by the orchestra filled the crowded hall" 5. The Men of Zaeed - “Thank you for agreeing to talk, Mr Massani” Kelly said as she sat on the couch, setting down the datapad and the glass of water in the table in front of her" 6. Morriana Tower Smut - “One is not like the others,” Leliana said to herself as she eyed the crows in the rookery" 7. BroscaLeli First Time - "Touch me" 8. Tass Hira "I am done speaking to lap dogs" Hira spat at the ground. 9. Drunk Josie Sera - "Probably with some fancy nobleman pisspants waiting for you back in Antiva, and you'd be all charmed and smiley over some rich prick just cause hes a rich prick'' 10. Desire Demon Leli - "I know what you are"

#tag meme

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marvelgurl789 · 7 months

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<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/50590033">Something Kinky This Way Comes (Kinktober 2023)</a> (93316 words) by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinelaborenihil">Sinelaborenihil</a> Chapters: 31/31 Fandom: <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Dragon%20Age:%20Inquisition">Dragon Age: Inquisition</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Dragon%20Age%20(Video%20Games)">Dragon Age (Video Games)</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Dragon%20Age%20-%20All%20Media%20Types">Dragon Age - All Media Types</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Dragon%20Age%20II">Dragon Age II</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Mass%20Effect%20Trilogy">Mass Effect Trilogy</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Mass%20Effect%20-%20All%20Media%20Types">Mass Effect - All Media Types</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Baldur's%20Gate%20(Video%20Games)">Baldur's Gate (Video Games)</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/tags/baldur's%20gate%203%20-%20Fandom">baldur's gate 3 - Fandom</a> Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Major Character Death Relationships: Female Inquisitor/The Iron Bull (Dragon Age), The Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian/Adrien Victus, Female Shepard/Adrien Victus, Female Shepard/James Vega, Fenris/Female Hawke (Dragon Age), Zaeed Massani/Female Shepard, Female Inquisitor/Solas (Dragon Age), Female Hawke/Varric Tethras, Halsin/Tav (Baldur's Gate), Tav/Wyll (Baldur's Gate), Astarion/Tav (Baldur's Gate), Karlach/Wyll (Baldur's Gate), Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian Characters: Female Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Female Hawke (Dragon Age), The Iron Bull (Dragon Age), James Vega, Garrus Vakarian, Adrien Victus, Fenris (Dragon Age), Zaeed Massani, Varric Tethras, Solas (Dragon Age), Halsin (Baldur's Gate), Tav (Baldur's Gate), Wyll (Baldur's Gate), Astarion (Baldur's Gate), Karlach (Baldur's Gate) Additional Tags: Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Collars, Dom/sub, Face-Sitting, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Porn with Feelings, Kinktober, Edging, Masturbation, Phone Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma Recovery, Mutual Masturbation, Deep Throating, Vaginal Fingering, Age Difference, Forced Orgasm, Dirty Talk, Sexual Assault, Extremely Dubious Consent, Rimming, Anal Fingering, Virginity, Mirror Sex, 69 (Sex Position), Touch-Starved, Sexting, Orgy, Consensual Non-Consent, Pregnancy, Kink Negotiation Summary: Kind of a mishmash of various old and new Kinktober lists if I'm being honest. Welcome to the Kink Grab Bag!

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concussed-to-pieces · 7 years

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Sunnyside

Fandom: Mass Effect (2)

Pairing: Zaeed Massani/Female Commander Shepard

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Thirsty Crew, another branch off from the usual fare! And just in time for N7 Day! I don't know whether anyone among our fine shipmates has played the Mass Effect, but if you have (and enjoy suffering over non-romanceable characters), this one's for you. This installment depicts a period of time between the second and third games, after the last mission in the second but before Shepard is...detained in the third. This also illustrates a slightly different approach to Zaeed's loyalty mission and the Paragon/Renegade options therein. Enjoy!

(I miss Robin Sachs.)

It had been raining for days on end. Weather on Zorya had never been easy to deal with, and that was when Zaeed had all the resources of the Blue Suns at his disposal.

Now he was huddled in a cave next to a smoky, barely-burning fire. With all the vegetation as green and damp as it was on Zorya, the chances of finding nice dry twigs for a fire were slim to none. If the Vorcha ever found his ass scavenging for Boy Scout supplies, he was relatively certain he could kiss it goodbye.

Thirty-three days. He had been stuck here for thirty-three goddamn days. Might be thirty-four at this point. Shepard had blown a proverbial fucking gasket and he had blown a literal fucking gasket and (in retrospect, anyhow) he could maybe see why she might have been irate.

Slightly.

He probably should have let her in on the whole Vido thing. After all, they'd survived the suicide mission, and she wasn't obligated to help him, not by anything but her word. He’d led her into the mission blind and Zaeed knew if there was one thing she hated, it was the way the Illusive Man withheld information. Goddamn girl, goddamn woman.

“I've done something for nearly everyone else. Let me do something for you.” She had said when she came to him with a smile on her face.

That goddamn smile. He would gladly suffer through hours of Nanny Garrus if he could see that smile aimed at him again. Instead, he slept fitfully; waking up sweating from dreams of women with gun muzzles prodding at his skull screaming we're a team Massani!

He wondered if this place and its goddamn spores was getting to him, making him feverish. Sometimes it seemed almost like she was still there. Still standing over him, gloriously tall like a furious deity casting damnation upon some sinner in a lake of fire. Maybe it was the damp, or lack of food and clean drinking water.

Goddamn, but they were a team. Her and him, usually accompanied by the tattooed biotic clusterfuck or the baby Krogan. A damn good team no matter who she picked.

And he had thrown it away. Twenty years of merc experience and then some (much more ‘and then some’), laid at her feet yet she still found him wanting. He had watched her test everyone else. He didn't really know why he had expected something different, something other than him emptying a clip in the direction of Vido's gunship and screaming with years worth of rage as he fucking failed and fucking turned on her like a goddamn rabid dog. The heat sink had been what did him in, ejected in a clumsy rush and clattering onto the ground to ignite a trail of leftover fuel.

He definitely would have left someone like himself under that beam after the explosion. She'd briefly held her pistol to his temple, but he imagined that was more out of fear and shock at the fact that he'd been about to attack her than anything else. The fact that she had pulled the beam off of him before eventually stalking away, her fists balled up so tightly he could hear her gauntlets creak in protest, spoke to the kind of person she was.

In retrospect, he should have known better. He should have told her.

Zaeed pulled his battered body closer to the guttering fire, curling up on his side with the sandy, damp floor for a mattress. He was so goddamn tired of thinking, tired of the circling questions in his mind. He cursed his stubbornness. A normal man would have died by now, instead of struggling on.

Why was she crying? His brain asked, almost in sync with the pounding headache brought on by lack of nourishment. Was she crying for me? Why didn't I listen to her? It's goddamn ludicrous to think that Commander Goddamn Shepard would leave a bunch of innocents to burn.

“We're a team, Massani!”

Goddammit.

“Massani!”

The tears dripping down her cheeks had shone when they fell off her chin, catching the flame's light...

“Massani!”

Zaeed shook his head wearily. “Losing my fucking mind, cherry on goddamn top.” He grumbled to himself, armor scuffing against his skin as he tried to force his fever-achy body into a tighter curl. Anything to try and keep off this goddamn wind and rain...

A hand grabbed his shoulder, roughly shaking him conscious. Zaeed groaned at the dull throb of pain, though it seemed oddly far-off to him. He mostly just felt damp, chilled to the bone. A little confused. Nearly overwhelmed by a quiet sense of disconnect from everything. Her face floated, wavering, in front of his eyes, and he felt a smile pull at the side of his mouth. She looked unbelievably cross, and for some reason that made him happy.

“Figures that I would dream up something like this,” He wheezed, “Sad goddamn old bastard I am, having a pretty girl come comfort me while I fucking die here in the dirt.” Zaeed almost laughed at the expression her face twisted into at that. “I know I'll...fuck it Shepard, I'm never gonna see you again, am I? I deserve this goddamn shit, I know. Dying on the site of what was supposed to be my most fantastic revenge. You weren't ever that big on revenge, were you girl? No, you were about your goddamn 'no man left behind' lifestyle. Figures that I was the one you'd break that rule for. You had to know that goddamn beam fucked me up. Couldn't even lift it off myself.”

“Zaeed, I'm so sorry.”

“Shep, I ain't blaming you. If anything it gave me some goddamn clarity. Maybe...maybe if I had told you from the fucking start what you were in for. You never gave me a goddamn reason not to trust you. You were always good to all your raggedy little misfits, even the Cerberus china doll and the Krogan braintrust.” Zaeed paused. This had been more talking than he’d done for over a month. “But you weren't a fucking pushover Shepard. You knew exactly when to pull goddamn rank. I guess I just never expected you to have to put me in my bloody place. Sorry 'bout that.”

His side fucking hurt. His legs hurt, his head hurt, everything throbbed.

“What sort of garbage hallucination are you, anyway? Shaking me awake like a goddamn bastard.” Zaeed tried to laugh but it was mostly a hacking cough, a wet, spore-filled rattle in his chest. “Everything fucking hurts Shepard. I hate this goddamn planet. I just want to be back on the fucking Normandy. Even with that goddamn AI and your goddamn pilot made of glass.” He groaned, blinking slowly as he felt someone slide an arm around his shoulders. “What kind of goddamn...”

The someone hoisted him onto their shoulders like a human backpack, like he weighed nothing.

“Shep I swear to God, if this is real I'm fucking...I'm eating you out first chance I get as a big goddamn thank you.” Zaeed slurred, fairly certain that he was being dragged to his grave by a bemused Vorcha scavenger. The startled exhale of breath that ghosted across his cheek made him curious though. “You gonna’ kill me? Vido send you?”

“You need to be quiet.”

It was Shepard! Zaeed had thought he was too exhausted and sick to be embarrassed, but his face heated weakly all the same. He lolled his head forward, resting his chin on her (bare?) shoulder and opening his eyes. “Oh...” What the fuck is she wearing?!

There was a velvety chuckle to Shepard's left. Zaeed felt the embarrassment take full hold as he realized that Kasumi had heard his enthusiastic promise of oral thank-yous. “A grungy, half-dead bounty hunter. Sure is a lovely change of scenery from what Hock was promising you, Shep!” The thief quipped.

Zaeed snapped into clarity for a second. “Th' fuck were you doing near Donovan goddamn Hock. I sure as fuck hope you weren't in this, er...garb around that slimy bastard.”

“A favor for Kasumi. I had to look the part.” Shepard replied curtly. “I did not enjoy it. I did not enjoy him. More importantly, he's fucking dead now and can never attempt to touch me again.”

“Can I just say, I fuckin' love your combats with this dress, great goddamn combo. Ten out of ten.”

“I'm not hauling your heavy ass around in the fucking jungle in fucking pumps Massani. Now shut the fuck up. If we're spotted we are fucked.”

“Been a rough night, ey Surimi?” Zaeed asked Kasumi, his head falling off to the side of Shepard's shoulder as he ignored the barrage of f-bombs (just slurred enough for him to guess that the commander may be a bit into her cups).

Kasumi nodded, but what he could see of her hooded eyes looked sympathetic. “Be gentle.” She said quietly. “It has been a trying day, Zaeed. Shepard has been out of her element for the duration. And she might be a little tipsy. Just…just a little.”

“Got that fucking right.” Shepard snarled, coming up over the last hill. Zaeed was more than content to fall silent, propping his cheek up on her shoulder and watching her breasts rub and shift with vague interest. She could be his commander all she wanted, but at the end of the day it was nice to know she was still soft and female in at least a few senses. Hell, was she even his commander anymore?

“Sorry 'bout all the goddamn armor Shep. I'll bandage up your scrapes once we get to the Norm.” He mumbled the apology almost too quietly for her to hear. If we're even going to the Normandy.

Shepard shrugged, and Zaeed watched the side of her mouth curl up briefly in a grin. “I've had worse, old man.”

“Still, you shouldn't have to fucking carry me. I should be able to walk. That goddamn beam.” Zaeed groaned. He felt Shepard wince underneath him. “Hey, not like fucking that. I know why you did it, Shep. I'm no goddamn whiner. I've had plenty of time to yell at myself, I understand.”

“You hurt anywhere else, Massani?”

“My side. My legs are the main goddamn problem. Pretty sure they're fucked.” Zaeed grunted as Shepard carefully set him into a seat in the Kodiak. “Not a lot of food either, or clean water to drink. I thought you were a goddamn hallucination, Shep. I thought I was dead.”

Shepard hushed him as the shuttle took off. Zaeed noticed with tired interest that when she comm'ed Chakwas there was a tremor in her voice. That beautiful goddamn voice...

“We found him. I think he's going to be okay.”

...

Zaeed had never seen Shepard hover this much. Chakwas, the old fussbudget, had him stripped down to his smalls for her exam and Shepard was still in the med bay and in that fucking dress. At least Kasumi had headed back to her room with a view after making sure he was settled.

Zaeed heaved a sigh. “Shepard if you're going t--goddamn--going to stick around you really ought to change out of that number.” He gestured to the doctor with a flash of his old humor. “Pretty sure if Chakwas keeps rummaging around in my goddamn legs and ribs, fluids will splash. Be a shame to ruin--goddamn woman!” The mercenary flinched, clenching his fists reflexively when Chakwas literally scraped into his knee with some odd little instrument.

“Oh please Mr. Massani, you'll have to do better than that.” Chakwas chided, slathering medi-gel across his kneecap. Zaeed grunted, Shepard's nervous laugh washing over him.

“I know, I know. It's weird seeing me in this. I do kind of like it though, wearing the dress.” Shepard admitted, smoothing her hand down the side of the skirt. “It makes me feel pretty.” She continued with the characteristic honesty of a drunk.

“Y' don't need a goddamn hunk of material to make you pretty, Shep.” Zaeed blurted, almost biting his tongue in half as soon as the words escaped. “Guy like me now, you'd have to put me in six goddamn suits to come even close to fucking decent.” He scrambled to add, trying to play off his compliment.

Shepard's eyes widened slightly, her head cocking to the side. Zaeed swallowed hard. “Thanks, Zaeed.” She murmured.

Oh Christ, what fresh goddamn hell have I slammed myself into.

...

Zaeed hated being on bed rest. He had been ordered to stay in his bunk and regain his strength, and Chakwas' orders bore no disobedience. It had been a week of this shit, just letting his immune system work through whatever plant life had taken up valuable real estate in his lung space.

He must have cleaned Jessie six times today, bored to goddamn tears. In the middle of another knife-tossing contest with himself, there was a warning chime from his door. “Who dares disturb my goddamn solitude?” He asked loudly, pulling himself to his feet and keying the door open. Oh. It was Shepard. “You're a sight for sore goddamn eyes, make no mistake about that.” Zaeed grumbled, waving her in. “What brings you down to my humble little abode?”

He noticed after returning sulkily to his bed that she hadn't walked into the room at all. She was just camped out in the doorway. Zaeed took in the way she was wringing her hands, and raised an eyebrow.

“Shep?” She looked like she was about to go to pieces. He'd never seen her so pensive. Well actually, right after that goddamn fruit Alenko spouted his preachy Alliance bullshit at her on Horizon... “You alright? Something on your mind?”

“I uh. I wanted to apologize.” Shepard mumbled. Zaeed was thrown for a loop. Shit, the time on Zorya had been more than sufficient for him to get his fill of eating crow. Shepard rescuing him had been an apology and then some, so why...?

“Get in here.” The grizzled merc ordered, auto-locking the door behind her. Obediently Shepard took a half-step into the room and stood there, staring at the floor like a child in trouble. Zaeed got back to his feet with a strangled swear, making his way to her and grabbing her chin. “How dare you.” He snarled, watching her eyes light angrily. “Who is this, this timid goddamn mouse of a Shepard? You ought to be ripping me a new goddamn asshole, Commander. What's fucking happened to you?”

“I made a mistake!” Shepard exploded, jerking her chin out of his fingers with ease. “I shouldn't have abandoned you! It was wrong! And...And I'm sorry!” She all but yelled her apology in his face, her step forward making him take a wary step back. She seemed to deflate then, returning to staring at the floor. “I couldn't stop thinking about you. I couldn't stop worrying about you. Even when I tried. And I tried so fucking hard Massani. I know that to you, being marooned on a hostile planet by the 'great Commander Shepard' would be the ideal end. And I couldn't...I couldn't do it.” She wiped her eyes and sniffled quietly, surprising the fuck out of Zaeed when she muttered, “I couldn't get you out of my head. I missed your 'goddamns' and your 'fuckalls'. I missed your advice and your expertise. There's been a few situations that I could have used your input on while...while I left you to rot on a tropical rock.”

“Goddamn, Shep.” The mercenary was at a loss for words. “I didn’t know.”

“Of course not. How could you?” Shepard retorted. “I didn’t exactly announce that I appreciated your blood-soaked experience.”

“You goddamn missed me, though?” Zaeed asked incredulously. “I did not expect that.” He sat back down on his bunk, running a hand through his hair. “Not for a goddamn second.”

“Yeah, I missed you. I was at that stupid party with Kasumi and all I could think about was what you might say as far as the stuffy art on the walls, or the shit music and terrible company. I drank more than I should have and after that, well, you know the rest.” Shepard shrugged. “Kasumi didn’t try to stop me though. Also didn’t try to get me back into my armor. I think she just wanted to see if I’d actually do it.”

“Th’ hell would she have done if you were goddamn spotted?” Zaeed questioned, his stomach dropping out unpleasantly at the thought.

“She probably would have sent me out on a rampage. In that dress with my Claymore.” Shepard snorted. “Helluva’ fight, as you would say.”

“That’s goddamn outrageous and you know it. Fucking hell.” Zaeed hated the warm feeling he got in his chest from her using his terminology. “I can hear the headlines now, 'Commander Goddamn Shepard killed in a Blue Suns shootout, found in slinky black number.'”

“I want to be buried in that dress, Massani.” Shepard grinned at him. “Look, do you accept my apology or not?”

“Goddamn it, Shep, you got nothing to apologize for.” Zaeed protested. “If it'll make you stop though, yeah, alright? I accept it.”

“Okay good, because Garrus said if I kept pacing in the mess area he was going to throw me out of an airlock.” Shepard laughed and grabbed the merc's arm, an action that would have resulted in a broken nose for nearly anyone else. “C'mon, I finally got Gardner those new ingredients he's been hounding me for. Let's see how well the evil genius works.”

…

Rupert didn't necessarily outdo himself with higher-grade ingredients, but even Zaeed had to admit that the new fare was a bit better than his usual grub.

He also had to admit that maybe...maybe he saw Shepard a little differently after her apology. A lot differently.

Goddammit.

This whole business had started out harmless enough. Somewhere along the way though, things had gotten goddamn messy in his head. Mass relay. Suicide mission. 'Your Illusive Man can move a lot of credits.'

And then they hadn't died. On the suicide mission. He would be the first person to tell anyone that he specified in impossible operations, but that one had tipped the scales significantly as far as his credibility went.

He told himself that he stuck around afterwards because Shepard goddamn owed him. She had promised that the contract he'd picked up prior to being hired would be seen through. Didn't mean he wasn't surprised all the same when she'd approached him to ask about Zorya. “I've done something for nearly everyone else.”

She would listen to his stories while she compacted the trash, quiet mechanical whirring barely audible over the heavy rasp of his voice. He regaled her with an assortment of his nostalgic tales, his ‘helluva’ fights’ and cautionary warnings about how smoking killed. “Got a minute? You might learn something.”

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he’d started looking forward to her visits. He’d rattle on with just about any willing ear, so it was strange when he found himself holding on to better chunks of a story and thinking, ‘Shep will love that’. It was strange when he ended up beside her on more and more of her missions, him and Grunt of all aliens, bless both of that poor, conflicted Krogan’s hearts. Helluva’ alien, that bastard, even with his shiny peach skin. Zaeed was hardly one to talk about appearances though.

It became normal at some junction of their adventures that he would shout at the Commander to get down!, to force her into cover. She didn’t seem to have an ounce of self-preservation in her genetic makeup. He supposed being brought back from the goddamn dead would do that to you but according to Joker, Shepard had always been that way.

“She protects with her whole body, Zaeed. A soldier to the end.” Joker had been uncharacteristically serious when he said that, the pilot’s eyes set straight forward.

Massani had heard mutterings of the fact that Joker was a large part of why Shepard had wound up dead in the first place. He imagined that guilt could weigh heavy on a man, especially if the dead person you had on your conscience was rebuilt from the ground up as a goddamn science-y mishmash of Frankenstein’s Monster proportions.

Goddamn Cerberus.

Her focus was absolute when they were on fieldwork. She would have been a damn good merc back in the Suns, if it wasn’t for that goddamn morality she carried like a backpack full of emotional bricks. Every damn life she could spare, she did. She didn’t even seem to give a shit that it made her look impotent, spineless until she pulled rank.

He still respected her leadership, of course. He knew as well as the next man that they couldn’t just lop the head off of every Batarian slaver. Zaeed’s favorite missions were still the ones where they had no other option but to fight their way out. With a roaring, blood-soaked Krogan on one side and a swearing, shotgun-toting Commander on the other, he felt like they could take on the world. If Jack was with them instead of Grunt, Shep tended to try and be more level-headed. For the sake of the self-proclaimed ‘Psychotic Biotic’.

He’d never had a Krogan fall asleep on his shoulder before he’d met Shepard. Never faced a Thresher Maw, and on foot no less. Certainly never dealt with a goddamn Human-Reaper hybrid, that had been one for the PTSD nightmare library and make no goddamn mistake. Those huge, glowing eyes and massive grasping metal fingers hungrily clawing their way around the platform. The strange part was that the worst bit wasn’t even that giant monster.

It was when he and Jack had already made their jump to the Normandy and that last sketchy platform had plummeted into the darkness, leaving Shepard on the other side of a gap that seemed to yawn wider with every second that passed. And of course she’d jumped, like a goddamn lunatic, and caught the rim of the hull door with her goddamn fingertips.

Jack had frozen, the biotic exhausted and horrified into being paralyzed. They were already crowding Joker in the tiny area as-is, the glass-boned pilot raining bullets down on the Collectors that had followed them. Zaeed did the only thing he could do. What any sane man would do, faced with the notion of someone goddamn important to him dying.

He sacked up and grabbed Shepard’s arm.

For a panicky moment his fingers slid over her smooth hardcase armor, then he found a groove where her elbow joint was and bit down. Shepard clung as high on his own arm as she could, her gauntlet digging into the tattooed skin between his armor plating.

They hung there for a breathless second that seemed to last a goddamn eternity. Zaeed would swear he could feel her pulse thundering even through her armor. She just looked up at him, and it disturbed him on a deep, rarely-visited level to see how peaceful she was. She would die here if she needed to. If it meant saving their lives. You selfless bitch, he remembered thinking in irrational fury, rage giving his weary body the strength it needed to pull her up onto the loading area. “Not goddamn today, you’re not.” Was all he’d grated out, shoving her face against his chest and crushing her to him.

Grunt had given him a light (by Krogan standards, anyway) headbutt in thanks for saving his Battlemaster. “She has no equal.”

“You’re goddamn right about that.”

Twenty-something years of mercenary experience laid at her feet. His revenge plan was shot to pieces and that damn irrational fury of his reared its ugly head. He'd considered her important enough to save, whether she knew that or not was irrelevant and he wasn't about to goddamn tell her. The cold chill that ran down his spine from having the muzzle of her pistol pressed to his forehead had nothing to do with the actual temperature of the weapon. She hadn't even cocked the damn thing. He could have easily torn the gun from her slack grasp, turned it on her.

Cerberus may be damn good at bringing people back from the dead, but Zaeed had the feeling that the Illusive Man wasn't quite so onboard with Shepard once she'd announced she was saving humanity her way. If Massani (or anyone else for that matter) put two in her head, she'd stay goddamn dead.

Yet he didn't, even in a blind, seething rage. He'd ruminated on that a bit during his vacation on Zorya. The fact that he'd even thought that was an option made his guts seize once he'd cooled his heels for a few days. And when it was apparent that he was well and truly alone (or as alone as one could be on a planet populated by a two-bit sham of the hostile force he had started with Vido), the regret had set in goddamn beautifully. He hadn't thought it would end quite like this. After all, that handsome amount of credits from the Illusive Bastard didn't do him any good holed up in a damp, humid cave.

“Got a minute? You might learn something.”

She had missed him. Tense emotions warred in his mind. Just how much had she missed him? Enough that she needed to get goddamn smashed at a party and fly God only knew how far to get back to Zorya, so...how much did that equal out to?

He wasn't about to ask. Better not to press his luck on that one. It was probably a legendary moment in the 'Commander Shepard' book that she admitted to being wrong in the first place. Not that she'd actually been wrong, he had drawn a gun on her with the absolute intent to kill. Old habits died hard, old mercenaries died even harder. She should have abandoned him.

“I don't want you on my ship.” There had been a quaver in her voice. He'd mistaken it for fury back then. “You're a danger to the others, Massani.”

“Goddamn leave then!” He'd screamed at her, all piss and vinegar even as he fought to free himself from beneath the heavy metal. “Go on! Nobody fucking asked you to goddamn stay, Commander!”

“I'm not leaving you to fucking burn Massani, Jesus. Give me your hand.” She'd grappled with him for a moment, Zaeed stubbornly avoiding her grasp until she gave an exasperated huff of breath and just lifted the whole beam off of him like it was made of cardboard. “Give me your fucking hand, old man.”

“Fuck you, you...self-righteous, goddamn mechanical husk of a bitch!” The raw insult had rolled off his tongue and she had the grace to fold her arms across her chest instead of slugging him in the mouth like she should have. She had confided in him a deep fear that she may not even be the real Shepard, but some gruesome approximation of Commander Shepard cooked up by Cerberus to gain the trust of humanity. Zaeed rarely fought fair though. “Standing up there all high and damn mighty like you didn't just cost me twenty years of my goddamn life!” He knew spit was flying at this point but he was too enraged to care, turning onto his back. “Look at my fucking face, Shepard! This goddamn ugly face that I see every goddamn day in the mirror! He took everything from me! My life, my livelihood, my men--everything!” He jabbed a finger at his own face, at the scars and non-functional eye. “You expect me to let a man walk free as a goddamn bird after he mutilated me?!”

“I expect you to understand that I didn't intend to cost you your closure, but I'm not standing by and watching civilians burn to death if I can help it, Massani. If you don't know that by now I guess there's no helping you.” She heaved a heavy sigh. “If you had just been straightforward about this-”

“-I would have gotten some grand speech for my goddamn trouble.” Zaeed had replied bitterly, the pain in his legs and ribs settling into a searing throb. “You and I both know you wouldn't have helped me kill Vido.”

“Never underestimate what I would do to help my friends.” Shepard answered through gritted teeth, extending a hand yet again. “We can drop you off on Omega.”

“Like fuck you will. Get the hell away from me.”

When he refused to take her hand for the second time, she had retracted it and clenched her fists tightly. She had left without another word, marching back to the Kodiak and not sparing him so much as a last glance over her shoulder or her infamous 'I should go'.

He'd figured that was it. Staggering and half-walking away from the area as best as he could, his patchy memory reminded him of one of his old hidey-holes. Upon arrival he'd collapsed, his knee giving out and his side momentarily hurting worse than anything else. Goddamn, he was too old for this shit. Zaeed grimaced when he heard the faint whine of the Kodiak’s engines.

So that was it, then. All because he just had to go in all cloak and goddamn dagger. Nobody could know that he was Zaeed Massani, betrayed co-founder of the Blue Suns. Couldn’t have let her know. Nope. Too risky.

Zaeed thumped his forehead against the cave wall and groaned.

I’m a goddamn fool.

…

Kasumi tipped him off before Shepard actually got to his room and Massani knew he shouldn’t ruin the surprise. He tried to be nonchalant, laying on his back in his bunk and doing his best to seem bored. Not difficult, due to the fact that he was going stir goddamn crazy being a layabout.

Shepard keyed the door open and practically ran across the room to his bunk. “Massani!” She said excitedly, a datapad gripped tightly in her hands. “A contact came through! Guess who we’ve got a bead on?”

Zaeed sat up slowly, took the datapad from her just as slow. Her smile began to fade while he tapped at the screen, the mercenary silently absorbing the new information about his target. “You…” Zaeed was at a loss for words yet again. His palms were sweating, adrenaline spiking because here it was, he hadn’t missed out on his revenge after all. Just delayed it a bit. “I…dammit woman, come here.” He said finally, standing up and pulling her into a tight embrace. “You goddamn clever little bitch.” He muttered affectionately, startled when she relaxed in his arms and made no move to leave. He cleared his throat, then gingerly rested his cheek on the top of her head. “Thank you for not giving up on me. Even when you tried to.” The words felt strange. This whole scenario felt strange.

“Someone has to make sure you’re not left to your own devices. It’s a big galaxy, but I don’t know if it’s big enough to contain you.” Shepard pulled back, smiled up at him and-

Oh no, oh goddamn no. Absolutely not. Zaeed was ashamed of himself for even considering that. What the hell was wrong with him? She’d just given him the keys to the goddamn castle and yet his greedy ass wanted the goddamn impossible. Zaeed stepped back, clearing his throat again. “Am I going alone, Commander?” Something in his chest pulled tight when he saw a bit of the excitement ebb out of her.

“I wanted to go with you, but…I mean, I can understand if you’d like to go in by yourself this time.”

“As if it would be a helluva’ fight without Commander Goddamn Shepard.” Zaeed replied before he could think, a stupid smirk quirking his mouth up. Her smile returned full-force and he decided that no matter what happened, that was important to him. “Any goddamn bleeding-heart collateral I have to worry about this time, Shep?”

…

Never underestimate what I would do for my friends.

They stormed into Vido’s shitty little emergency bunker (these places all looked the goddamn same after a little while) and before he could move, Shepard had her shotgun to his chest. “Remember us, Santiago?” She asked coldly.

Zaeed relished the fear in the other man’s eyes, the terrified confusion that slowly settled into recognition. “Should have known.” Vido snarled. His fingers twitched over the gun on his hip.

“You’re goddamn right you should have.” Spoiling for his revenge after he’d been cheated out of it last time, Zaeed snapped a fresh heat sink into his pistol and leveled the weapon at Vido’s head.

“Killing me isn’t going to fix anything, Zaeed. It’ll just make the Suns turn on each other. You really want to burn down everything that we built together?” Vido sounded incredulous.

“I’ve seen what your leadership made my men into already.” Zaeed prodded the muzzle of the pistol into Vido’s face, pressing it none-too-gently against the socket of his right eye. “They’re little better than goddamn guns for hire, you brainless fuck. Some of ‘em too young and stupid to be in charge of pulling a trigger.”

“I had to take care of the trash. It left our numbers weaker, even with the Batarians.” Vido’s eyes narrowed. “You and your fucking slaver hangups. If you weren’t such a bleeding-heart shitbag, I wouldn’t have had to put you--”

“I’m not ever going to be goddamn willing to deal in slavery, especially entire shipments of little goddamn kids!” Zaeed roared at the younger man, silencing him. “You’re paying for every goddamn shipment you ever sent through, with your life and the lives of the men you had stationed outside. You’re paying for what you did to me. And you’re paying for what you’ve done to the once-proud Suns.” Zaeed smiled then, a nasty, bone-chilling grin. “I’ll see you in hell, Vido.”

Vido had always been the faster gunman of the two of them. The bastard had his pistol raised and pressed point-blank to the Commander’s stomach before Zaeed could finish pulling the trigger on his own gun.

Their almost-synchronized shots rang in Zaeed’s ears and Shepard made a strangled noise. Vido tipped back over the bunk, his eyes rolled up in his head. His pistol dropped from his limp fingers and clattered onto the concrete floor. Shepard fell to one knee.

Never underestimate what I would do for my friends.

Zaeed wanted to scream. His throat went dry as a bone, his brain already calculating how quickly the Kodiak could make the trip. What the hell will Garrus say? He still had some medigel, maybe he could-

Shepard grunted and got back to her feet. “Ugh, knocked the wind out of me for a second. That’s gonna’ leave a bruise.” She grimaced, briskly dusting off the plating over her stomach before turning to the mercenary. “Alright, let’s-”

Zaeed jerked his pistol down into its holster, swept her up in his arms and pressed a kiss to her mouth. Greed be fucked, propriety be fucked. “What the fuck, woman?” He growled, immensely gratified by the way she tucked herself into his chest. “Christ, I was halfway to slinging you over my goddamn shoulder and hightailing it back to the Kodiak. You know damn well your nanny Garrus would tear me six new holes if something happened to you.”

“Didn’t you pay attention to all those upgrades I worked so hard to get?” She asked, lacing her fingers shyly through his own. “Lots of interesting specifications.”

“All I care about is the fact that your insides stayed where they goddamn belong.” Zaeed had never seen her so kittenish, she was practically kneading his armor. “Thought…hell, I thought I’d lost you for a second.”

She made a dismissive gesture. “It’ll take a lot more than that peashooter to stop me.”

“Goddamn right.” Zaeed realized that he’d put them in an incredibly compromising position with his idiotic emotions. “Look, Shep, I’m uh. I’m not exactly sure what you’re looking for in a…partner. I know you and Alenko had something, because I doubt you’d let just any goddamn punk upbraid you. I’m not a young man, not as spry as I used to be.” He shrugged awkwardly. “I’ve still got a few years in the tank, if you’re…er, interested.”

Shepard ducked her face into his chest and Zaeed saw her shoulders shake. His stomach dropped out. Had he disgusted her? Was he taking advantage of her at a moment of weakness? Christ, getting shot in the gut was still bound to bring back some unpleasant memories, better plating or no. But after a second he heard a stifled snort. She was laughing at him, the cheeky little bitch. “I mean, if you think you’ll be able to fend off the Alzheimer’s long enough for me to get some use out of you. I’d hate to have to visit you at the old folks home for date night.” She teased.

Zaeed found himself smiling without meaning to, gently knuckling the side of her head. “Goddamn lucky man, I am. Spending my last fragile years with an exciting young thing like yourself. You’ll have to go easy on me. My hips are a bit frail.” He squinted. “Also who the hell are you? I’ve forgotten my goddamn spectacles.”

Her laugh was delighted and it sent a warm shiver down his spine. Like the first, glorious taste of whiskey after a long tour away from Omega. He could tell he was in for a helluva’ time.

…

She was much younger than him, but it was good to know he still had it. He had promised to eat her out, hadn’t he?

He wasn’t sure what kind of action she’d gotten from Alenko. Kid was a biotic, so he probably had a few tricks up his sleeve. But judging from the way she was whimpering and squirming against his mouth, Zaeed got the feeling he didn’t need to worry too much. Her fingers dug into his short-cropped hair, making him hum softly.

This is goddamn perfect.

Zaeed paused, propping himself up to carefully kiss the bruise on her stomach. “You’re not taking another bullet for me ever again, got it?” He asked seriously, meeting her eyes. “I’m goddamn firm on this one, Shep. I’m not one foot in the grave but I’m sure as hell ahead of you on the list. So please.” He rested his forehead there for a minute, unable to maintain eye contact. “You’d better be goddamn careful from here on out.”

“I will be. I promise.” She said softly, still kitten-kneading on his scalp. Zaeed ducked back down to finish what he’d started, fingers pressing into her beneath his hungry tongue. He loved the way she rolled and bucked her hips like she couldn’t get enough of him. Scarred, grizzled bastard that he was, every twitch and whine was absolutely stroking his ego.

“Goddamn come for me, Shep.” He snarled finally, feeling her quiver. “You’d best goddamn come, hear me? Come on my mouth, because I’m not putting my cock in you until you do. Come for me, come for me-” Shepard sobbed out, working her hips up at him and then going totally still as she came. Zaeed greedily devoured her, the high-pitched noises that she offered him almost as delicious as her taste. Her hands trembled in his hair and he chuckled when she yanked on a handful. “You alright up there, Shep?”

“He asks, like he didn’t just give me the best oral I’ve ever had.” Shepard was still panting for breath, smiling that goddamn smile.

Zaeed was sure his own grin was outright insufferable. “Picked up a few tricks here and there. You still up for round two?”

“Give it your best shot, old man.”

“I goddamn intend to.” Zaeed languidly crawled up over her, pressing kisses here and there on the way to her mouth. “Helluva’ woman, you are.” He said quietly, feeling almost reverent as he kissed the hollow of her throat. “Putting up with an old merc like me. Hell, coming back for an old merc like me. I’m goddamn honored, Shep.”

She cupped his face and pressed their foreheads together, searching his eyes. Zaeed glanced away, clearing his throat, but she just turned his head gently. “Don’t hide from me, Massani.”

“Love it when you’re forceful, Commander.” He teased, getting her to smile again. The first lazy brush of his cock over her cunt had her closing her eyes and relaxing underneath him. Her hands slid to his shoulders, fingers resting on the tattooed skin while he slowly pushed the head of his cock into her. Zaeed meant to hum again but it came out as a growl and she trembled all over at the sound. “Goddamn Christ, Shep, not hurting you right?” He managed to ask.

Her response was a growl of her own, her fingernails raking over his arm. “More.” She demanded and he found himself unable to do anything but obey.

“Yes ma’am.”

He would never forget their first time together. Every touch, every taste was burned into his memory. She kept gently caressing the scarred side of his face, like she was trying to remind him that it didn’t matter, she didn’t care. Zaeed had never really been one for meaningful sex before he’d had half his goddamn face blown off, even less so after he’d healed. For obvious reasons. So it was…odd, to be alright with someone touching that part of him. Especially while they were being intimate.

“It’s not goddamn fair that you’re so good to me.” He grunted, brushing the hair out of her eyes and cupping the back of her neck to press their foreheads together (albeit clumsily, this was new territory). Her eyes were half-lidded, hazy with pleasure that sent a hot wave of satisfaction down his spine. He was doing well, her little sighs and moans of his name (his name!) encouraging him to continue, “That’s right, Shep, that’s right.” He rasped, not sure if he was smiling or smirking and not much caring either way. “I’m goddamn close, so if you’re planning on getting off again you’d better-”

Her teeth sank into the Suns tattoo on his neck, hard enough to break the skin. Zaeed faltered, legitimately embarrassed by the pitch of the noise he made. His hips crushed down to slot with her own and she keened through her teeth, her inner walls gripping his cock.

“You wicked little bitch.” He gasped when he trusted his voice again, resting his forehead against her shoulder as she came with a scream muffled by the skin of his neck. “I love you.”

She responded by digging her fingers into his spine and taking him as deep as she could, biting and licking feverishly at the tattoo on his neck. “Love you--too-” She panted, and Zaeed closed his eyes and surrendered to her.

When he could feel his extremities again, Zaeed rolled onto his back. His arms were absolutely screaming at him and he got the feeling his back would not be far behind. It had been years since he could attribute the soreness to something good, though. She shifted to her side, the two of them laying in companionable breathlessness.

“God damn.” She announced with authority, making him burst out laughing. “Guess you might have a few good years left in you after all.”

“I aim to please, Shep. Afraid my recovery time is going to disappoint.” Zaeed stretched his arms over his head, groaning quietly. “Goddamn worth every ache.” He murmured, more content than he could remember being in ages.

She tucked herself into his side after a moment, tugging her sheet up over the two of them. “Thank you.” The words were mumbled against his chest so softly he almost missed them.

“For goddamn what, Shep?”

“Forgiving me.” She twiddled her fingers and refused to meet his eyes. “I…I know I already apologized, but…”

“It’s a goddamn shit gig, being the savior of humanity. Can’t do hardly anything without some goddamn asshole judging you for it. Can’t maroon some insubordinate, belligerent old fuck on a hostile planet without feeling like a bad person for doing it.” Zaeed tapped the bridge of her nose. “I’ve had much worse done to me by men who I’ve known for goddamn decades longer than you, Shep. You’ll have to try harder the next time you want to get rid of me.” He eased an arm around her shoulders, settling her in comfortably beside him. “So, Big Goddamn Hero, what’s next on your Reaper to-do list?”

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hanatsuki89 · 3 years

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My most poorly-kept secret is that I like Zaeed (a lot) and I wish he were romanceable

#zaeed massani #hanatsuki89 #mass effect #mass effect trilogy #in the meanwhile watch me sketch some healthy smut between him and my renegade shep

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tinmunky · 2 years

Text

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Found on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38215375/chapters/95478313

No Galaxy for Old Men Series - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

Characters & Pairings: Zaeed Massani/Fem!Shep, Kasumi Goto, Garrus Vakarian

Summary: Shepard benches the Squad to help Kasumi take on Donovan Hock and Zaeed doesn’t have a whole lot of experience with emotions other than anger. Can his mouth get him out of the trouble it gets him in?

Rating: Explicit for sex - 7,848 words

Tags: Sexual tension, oral f receiving, f/m sex, violence, swearing, choking, angst, happy ending, big emotions, smut

Audio Parings: Chapter One: Gasoline - Halsey / Chapter Two: Riptide - Unlike Pluto / The Bad in Each Other - Feist / Chapter Three: To Be Alone - Hozier

Chapter 1: Set the Explosive

Things had been different since that night on Omega. Nothing overt had tipped him off to their change in dynamic, but that shared camaraderie seemed to have softened Shepard towards Zaeed. No, he wouldn’t call it that. She was still a stone-cold bitch with a temper that would light the fires of hell, but he seemed to be less frequently on the receiving end of it. He kind of missed the acidic attention.

In the last few weeks, Zaeed had found himself on more and more of her away missions, pulling each other out of one hairy situation after another. Zaeed hadn’t experienced this kind of exhilaration in at least a decade. The quality of her work was hard, brutal, and excessively dangerous. It reminded him of his early days in the Blue Suns. She was setting a mission tempo that a man half his age would have had difficulty maintaining and she never once asked if he could keep up. Thank God he hadn’t gone soft.

When she teamed him up with Vakarian, the three of them were unstoppable. She clearly played favorites, throwing the Turian a smile and him the snark, but he liked that edge. It kept him sharp. He got more out of a biting quip than a kind remark anyway. She seemed to know exactly what to say to whom to get the best performance from her team. Zaeed begrudgingly respected her leadership acumen, so he happily covered her six with Vakarian as her point. He wouldn’t be exaggerating if he said the view from behind was a deeply appreciated bonus.

They had started pretty rocky at first. That day in the elevator had left him hard as a rock and angry as a Krogan in rut. She had straddled him, covered in blood, with a smile as bright as the sun, and then she had the gall to cast a flirtation half invitation. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she didn’t actually hate his guts .

Imagine that—a polished career officer taking up with an old piece of mercenary shit like him. It was enough to make anyone laugh. Sure, there had been suggestive comments and banter thrown back and forth since then. She gave as good as she got, both physically and verbally, but he was under no illusions that this woman wasn’t all business. Yet, he couldn’t deny the magnetic tug he felt around her. He was sure they all felt it around her. She was a force of nature. Like staring into a supernova. You couldn’t help but be drawn in.

One day he’d point blank asked her if he’d become her favorite. She’d laughed and assigned him to latrine duty in retribution. He appreciated her sense of humor.

Since they’d ironed out some wrinkles in their working relationship, Zaeed hadn’t given Shepard a hard time about being a team player, and she hadn’t made any decisions that he seriously questioned. Sure, he’d lift an eyebrow to some of her more outlandish ideas, but nothing that he thought would lead to certain death, until today.

The Normandy was scheduled to dock at the Citadel in a few hours for a routine overhaul, keeping them shoreside for a week. Joker was ecstatic, but Zaeed didn’t seek out the more civilized sectors when he could avoid it and being in Citadel space set him on edge. Already in a bad mood, he was then hauled up to the command deck only to be told that the newest member of the squad, the master thief Kasumi Goto, had a personal mission that needed immediate attention. It was just the fucking cherry on his bad mood cake.

Zaeed didn’t trust the new girl much. No one really knew who she was. He’d heard rumors through his richer, seedier channels that she was a ghost who left chaos in her wake, if she even existed at all. Goto had made more enemies in a career a third the length of his, and now she was going to drag Shepard—and the rest of them—into her drama. It was like she was actively trying to piss people off. He was pretty sure at one point she was using her little cloaking trick to spy on him in his bunk. Sneaky bitch. He respected the girl’s talent, but she had way too much arrogance to go along with that lack of judgement.

The walking bad mood leaned against the wall of the briefing room with the other members of the squad, glowering, waiting for the good news to just keep coming. Goto wanted them to help her infiltrate the personal fortress of the biggest knob in the sector, Donovan Hock for her boyfriend’s bloody gray box.

Fucking. Great.

Zaeed tsked quietly under his breath, garnering a sharp glance from Shepard. The weapons dealer was not someone to be trifled with. He literally had an army at his disposal, the council in his pocket, and his greasy little fingers were in all the worst pies. Zaeed had suspected for years he funded Vido’s operations. The man was a piece of shit of the highest order. He’d be perfectly happy to see the asshole crash and burn, but as a spectator, not a participant. He didn’t want whatever heat came with taking the piss with a man like Hock.

He kept these thoughts to himself as he listened to Shepard and Goto lay out the details, casting periodic glances at Vakarian, trying to read his take on the whole thing. The bloke didn’t seem happy with the prospect of kicking a hornet’s nest but he remained silent. Zaeed glanced farther down the table. Lawson, who always had something to say about everything, was also uncharacteristically quiet. It did nothing but key Zaeed up more.

This whole business didn’t benefit the team or their end goal; why was Shepard even entertaining the notion? This was strictly personal to Goto, and it rubbed him the wrong way. Since when had he become such a team player? He stuffed that smarmy little voice back in the box it came out of and scowled harder. With each word out of the small woman’s mouth, his blood pressure ticked higher. Then she made her final demand. Shepard had to go alone, unarmed, unarmored and with only a slip of a thief as her lifeline.

The idea of cutting Shepard off from all her resources for a deep infiltration job that risked her, their entire mission… everything for something as ridiculous as some little girl romance made his blood boil. Zaeed chanced a another look at Vakarian. His vocals rumbled in two layers, dissatisfied, but said nothing. Zaeed grunted. Fucking pussy. Well, if the Turian wasn’t going to be the voice of reason, Zaeed would bloody well have to. He pushed off the wall and stepped forward.

“You’re actually entertaining this horse shit?” he scoffed at Shepard. “You’ve gotta be bloody kidding me! Donovan Hock is not some low-rent criminal.”

“Excuse me, I don’t recall asking for your opinion, Massani.” Shepard’s clap back was crisp and razor sharp. Her fingers tented on the shiny glass table. “You’re in this briefing as a courtesy only. This mission is already green-lit and your input on my chances of success will not change this. You’re benched until further notice.”

Zaeed leaned in, all coiled frustration and suddenly angrier than he had any right to be, finger pointed across the table at the Commander. In for a penny, in for a pound. He was never good at being put in his place.

“And I don’t recall you being a childish halfwit.” Zaeed fired back. ”What do you think he’ll do if he realizes he’s got the Commander Shepard? This is a right stupid idea, and you fucking know it. We don’t have a dog in this fight with Donovan Hock. He’s a right fucker, and this feels a helluva lot like a trap that you’re too much of a goddam goody–two-shoes-romantic to accept.”

With each word, Shepard’s gaze sharpened down to a laser point on Zaeed, a white-hot rage rolling off her. He might have pushed her a bit farther than he had planned, letting his frustration runaway with his mouth, but he didn’t back down. Staring right back. In for a penny…

Miranda stepped up, a facilitating smile plastered across her face, ready to PR the fuck out of this squabble.

“What I’m sure Mr. Massani means…” She began.

“Shut the fuck up, Cheerleader,” Jack hissed, clearly knowing when not to get between two varrens about to start slinging teeth.

“Yes, shut up, Lawson.” Shepard’s voice was like ice as she took slow, measured steps around the table to stand before the merc. The room was silent as all eyes fixed on the two tempers swirling. Zaeed’s eyes darted across her face staring coldly back at him. Fuck. He’d burned up any good will she had for him. But he meant what he said. This was a bad, bad idea.

“You have the absolute gall to lecture me on jeopardizing the mission for a personal vendetta? After that bullshit with Vido?”

Fuck. Publicly slapping him would have been less vicious.

Whatever floodgates that had held all his mounting tension at bay snapped. He did the only thing he could do that wouldn’t land him in an all-out brawl.

“Fuck you, princess.” He hissed around scarred lips and clenched teeth before brushing past her towards to door.

“You haven’t been dismissed, Massani.” She called.

“Fuck you!” He roared as he slammed his fist into the door jamb on his way out, leaving a healthy dent.

———

Chapter 2: Light the Fuse

Zaeed had made it to the relative privacy of his storage closet quarters in record time, thankfully not encountering any of the crew along the way. He was of a mind to punch the next bloody person he saw. Rationally, he knew he had earned this. He let his mouth get ahead of him, and despite his very valid feelings towards the risk Goto was putting her in (them, he corrected himself), he was the last person on this tub that could cast shade for trying to settle a score on someone else’s dime.

He entered the room like a angry bull. Suddenly feeling claustrophobic, he shucked off his jacket, his shoulders stretching the white tank across his scarred and inked back as he threw the battered leather across the workbench.

“Fuck!” He exploded.

The clatter of tools and components hitting the floor provided a loud and satisfying accompaniment to his childish violence. If he was being honest with himself, which he would rather die than do, he would admit that the reason he was so pissed was that he was being left behind. He could do fuck-all to protect her if he was on the Normandy. Sure, she had gone on dozens of missions without him, but if he wasn’t there, Vakarian was. Garrus was the only one on the squad that Zaeed felt was truly capable of keeping Shepard in one piece.

He stood in the center of the room, listening to the comforting hum of the garbage compactor. Zaeed took a deep shaky breath before running roughened hands through his hair, settling them behind his head. He rolled his neck to release some of the tightly-wound tension and tried to look at this clearly.

Maybe if he hadn’t made such a public scene, it might have gone differently. She had a knack for mashing his buttons good and hard, but when had he ever done the right fucking thing? Zaeed had really fucked this one up, but goddammit, she was too bloody arrogant to see reason. Each mission she seemed little more reckless, a little keener to spit in death’s face to be the hero. Heroes end up dead.

As he blankly stared at the wall across from him, sorting through whatever the fuck this emotional mess was, the bulkhead door slid open with a hiss. Zaeed dropped his head back and closed eyes in a silent prayer for peace. Couldn’t she just leave me alone?

“Get the fuck out.” His raspy voice sounded much calmer than he anticipated.

“It’s my ship.” She responded, her voice tight. He cast a narrowed eye over his shoulder. She stood in the doorway, arms folded over her painted-on uniform, every crease perfectly pressed, face benign, temper under control. Not a hair out of place. Seeing her so unfazed pissed him off all over again. He was taken with an irrational urge to pull that wretched bun down. To ruffle her feathers to match his mood. He turned to face her, arms folded over his own chest, stance mirroring hers.

“Say your piece, then get the fuck out.” He groused, head tilted towards the still open door.

She stepped into the room, and the door automatically closed behind her. The room was bathed in a dim light, only the ambient cargo hold lighting and the red glow of the garbage compactor keeping them visible. He really didn’t know if he could handle her being this close to him right now. His blood was still up from her barbs at the briefing and the fact he had no control over any of this.

“Do you have to fight me on literally everything?” She asked. She sounded tired.

“It’s my core competency—being disagreeable.” He quipped back. Safety in glib responses. “I’m in no mood to apologize for speaking my mind, Shepard. Especially since you’re going to do whatever you want anyway. Why are you even here if my opinion of yer stupid ass decision doesn’t matter?”

She snorted. A weary, sardonic half smile played across her lips. Clearly him being a right unfriendly knob wasn’t scaring her off.

“Do you think any of this is discretionary for me, Zaeed?”

“As ya often remind me, this is yer bloody ship, so yeah, I do think ya can tell them no” Zaeed’s accent grew apace with his frustration.

She looked contemplative for a moment before drawing her lower lip between her teeth, weighing her next words carefully. He knew he was being a dick, and she wouldn’t take the bait. Her lack of responding anger made him uneasy. He didn’t know the rules of this game. Usually they’d sling verbal jabs, maybe a literal one or two and that would be that. This Shepard he didn’t know how to handle.

“I don’t have the luxury to not do everything in my power to ensure our success. You’ve seen what we’re up against. You know this isn’t a game, and in the end we’re all expendable. That’s the definition of a suicide mission Zaeed. We all knew this when we signed on.” Her voice sounded exasperated and exhausted, almost pleading with him to let it go. He hated that voice. He knew how to handle angry, violent, sarcastic Shepard. This was a side he wasn’t used to seeing.

“Bullshit!” He hissed. Her eyes darted up to meet his. A fleeting spark, but she remained silent. He needed her to fight back.

“Do you even hear yourself?” He asked, incredulous. His voice rose with each word. "You didn’t sign up for this. We did! You were conscripted, and you’re still so goddamn eager to martyr yourself on any sword these self-centered brats offer you. For what? To buy their loyalty?”

Shepard scoffed as she moved to the workbench. She tossed his jacket to the narrow cot he had set against the wall, the movement pulling the fabric of her uniform taught across her breasts. Jesus. His mouth went dry. She leaned back against the freshly-cleared edge, hands gripping the cool metal and the fabric somehow tightened more. Zaeed increased the death grip on his anger, trying to counterbalance the intoxicatingly magnetic pull of her subtly suggestive and completely oblivious mannerisms.

“I don’t expect you to get it Zaeed.” Her voice was cold and controlled. “Some people are motivated by things other than money and vengeance.”

He wondered if she saw him flinch, her cold insult landing like a physical blow. He could feel himself flush with anger and embarrassment to be so casually reminded of his own shortcomings. Since that day on Zorya, he had given her his loyalty. As time went on, he’d not have hesitated to give her his life. Not because he was being paid, or because of a contract, or because of the promise of Vido, but because he believed in her— and to have her not see that, to throw it back in his face? That cut real deep.

He practically vibrated with the need to knock her off her high horse and his traitorous brain provided a decent visual of him scooping her up, setting her on the cold surface of the bench with him between her knees. Christ. His body was still locked in this constant battle of anger and lust when it came to her. In a panic to erase the visual that sent fire through his body, he leaned into the anger instead, finding comfort in trading verbal blows. He wanted to make her feel it. Feel how she made him feel. His next comment was leaving his mouth before his brain had the chance to slam on the brakes.

“Oh, I do get it Shepard.” His voice thick with rage. “If you constantly throw yourself at other people’s problems, maybe you’ll prove you’re actually good enough for them. Maybe if you’re good enough, ole’ what’s-his-face will accept you again?“

A smart man would have instantly regretted those words. A wise man wouldn’t have said them at all, but as the last words left his lips, her face lit up and she was full of fire again. The cold, quiet defeat burned away and, God, she was beautiful when she burned.

She pushed off the bench and closed the distance between them, as lightening quick as her hand flashing hard across his face. His eyes widened. The sting across his cheek was nothing compared to the shock. She’d never slapped him before. Sure they’d brawled, drawn blood with fists and kicks, but she’d never open-handed slapped him before.

“How fucking dare you.” She hissed between clinched teeth.

He caught her wrist before she could slap him again and yanked her off balance into his chest. Her free hand shot out to grip his bicep for balance, a feminine gasp escaping her parted lips as her nails dug in. He felt instantly ashamed of his tactics, but he was powerless to stop now. He was fighting dirty. She wasn’t stopping him, and he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

Zaeed felt like he was holding it together by a thread. Her wrist was easily encircled by his larger hand. When had this larger-than-life woman become so delicate? His left hand came up to grip the nape of her neck, pinning her to him. Her hair slid across his battle-roughened hands, that damned bun finally askew. He stared at her face, horrified at how low he’d gone. Her full lips were still parted and dangerously close, blue eyes dark and glassy with emotions he couldn’t read. And… and it broke something in him. He was sorry.

The realization made his next words the most honest he’d ever spoken.

“If you keep parting yourself out, Logan, there will be nothing left.” Her given name felt foreign on his tongue.

“I don’t know how, Zaeed.” She whispered. He released her wrist, but she held on as he slid his hand along her rib, pulling her closer. Holding her tight, longer to restrain her violence but to comfort her sorrow.

“I know, sweetheart.” Zaeed dragged the calloused pad of his thumb along her cheek, sweeping away the moisture gathered there. Her gaze searched his face. She was just as beautiful showing her vulnerability as she was with her strength.

In a day of bad decisions, what was one more? She’d probably kill him for this, but he’d made peace with his God long ago.

Zaeed Massani slid his hand across her jaw to angle her just right and kissed Logan Shepard.

His mouth was feather-soft against hers, waiting for her to eviscerate him for the offense. Instead, her lips parted under his, and it was like gasoline on the fire. Every dirty thought he had about her, every time he’d watched her hips swing past him in the corridor, every time he’d eased the pressure in the shower thinking of her came rushing to the surface. Zaeed pulled her flush against him, the length of her body molding to his as he set about devouring the woman of his dreams and his nightmares.

Shepard’s arms swept up around his shoulders, lost in the wave of their emotions. All these months of shared tension crested the dam and flooded forth. She fisted her hands in his hair, crashing her lips against his in a new form of sparring. Applying teeth in a sharp nip against his scarred lip.

Zaeed smoothed his hand down the small of her back, grasping a fist full of the ass he had spent so much time protecting. He started to lift her up onto the workbench and make his fantasies a reality when the comms chimed, EDI’s voice a bucket of frigid water on their personal wildfire.

“Commander Shepard, we’ve docked at the Citadel.”

Shepard’s whole body jumped in his hands as she broke the kiss, her eyes wide with terror.

“Copy that, EDI.” She replied, her voice shaken, her lips swollen and glistening. Fuck the robot, Zaeed thought, his eyes hooded as he leaned back in.

“Commander, are you well? Your heart rate and Mr. Massani’s are elevated.” EDI couldn’t possibly be that naive. “And it appears someone has rerouted the security cameras for the starboard cargo hold.”

“YeP!” She squeaked, overeager. “Perfectly fine! I’ll get to the bridge in a jiff.”

Zaeed closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers, trying to slow his heart and his thoughts. The palm of her hand was scalding through his shirt and all he could think of was never letting go.

“Make Miranda go.” He whispered.

“You know I can’t.” Her voice was soft, but no longer defeated. “Will you trust me?”

“You’re the first person I’ve trusted in a very long time.” His veil of indifference and anger was long gone, leaving him bare. He broke the moment with a sharp squeeze of her cheek still in his hand, setting her a safe distance from him. He ran both hands through his hair in an attempt to keep them to himself, the thick silver stands standing on end.

“I’ve never contemplated murdering an AI before, but I definitely might make the effort now.” He sighed “You’d better git before I do something we both regret.”

She opened her mouth, and Zaeed wasn’t ready for rejection—or worse, acceptance—so he cut her off.

“Or Grunt comes looking for you and he kills me.”

She laughed. Goddammit. She laughed, and his gut flipped, both blatantly ignoring the row that brought her to his quarters, neither having the courage to say what needed to be said. She straightened her uniform as she walked towards the door. He knew she would go through with this mission. It was who she was at her core, and he knew that when she came back on the other side, they’d have to address whatever the fuck this now was. His gut flipped the other direction.

“Hey Shepard.” The gravel was back in his voice. She turned as he waved about his head dramatically. “Fix your hair.”

———

Chapter 3: Explosions Go Boom!

Zaeed was in the cargo hold when Shepard and Kasumi Goto boarded their shuttle to take on Donovan Hock. He had been working with Garrus on inventorying a special order of weapons components that needed calibration. Garrus had been prattling on about the merits of this particular setup versus that when he stopped mid sentence, suddenly tensing, a strangled “shit” hissing out. Zaeed looked up from the contents of the crate. He was pretty sure that constriction in his chest was his heart stopping. He was having a heart attack. This is what a heart attack felt like.

She was simply, stunning.

Shepard smartly marched across the platform in a set of smoking hot heels and a synth leather cocktail dress, both modest in neckline and completely sinful in cut. She deliberately avoided eye contact with everyone present, her head high and cheeks charmingly pink. The smaller woman trailed behind her like a dingy, skipping to keep up. Shepard’s crimson lips pressed in a determined line, her flaxen hair swept up and back in a long, swishing pony tail. He hadn’t realized her hair was so long, it was always in that damned bun. His overactive imagination happily supplied a detailed image of his fist wrapped in the length as he held her bent back against him.

His fingers twitched against the crate. Shit. Indeed.

Zaeed must have made a sound, or a move towards her because Garrus’ sub-vocals rumbled low.

“Don’t.” he hissed for only Zaeed to hear, his taloned hand falling heavy on the mercenary’s shoulder, rooting him in place.

Zaeed watched Shepard step onto the shuttle and turned to key the hatch closed behind her, His mismatched eyes locking with hers. She nodded to him once. Acknowledgement he didn’t deserve. He lifted his chin in response. The sharp gesture loaded with things that may never be resolved. And, so Zaeed and Garrus stood, watching Shepard depart on her most foolhardy mission yet where neither of them could follow.

As her shuttle cleared the Normandy, Zaeed shucked off Garrus’ heavy mitt.

“I need a goddamn drink birdman.” Zaeed’s voice thick with restrained agitation.

“Yeah. Me too.” Garrus said with resignation. All thoughts of calibrations and weapons components forgotten.

~~~

Shepard had to admit, if the plasma burns were any indication, stealing memory was not her forte. She’d managed to finesse her way through the gala with a surprising amount of charm only to have her ass practically handed to her by Donovan Hock himself in highly modified A-61 Mantis gunship. She’d known he would be well guarded, well trained and well armed, but Kasumi hadn’t said shit about a god damn gunship with fucking black market kinetic barriers.

Looking down that particular barrel had really made her second guess her decision to leave her squad on the bench. Kasumi’s cloaking abilities had saved their asses, but it was a close one. Closer than she probably would ever let anyone know.

They had ridden the Kodiak back in silence. Kasumi lost in whatever catharsis having recovered Keiji’s graybox held and Shepard being angry at how close they came to proving Zaeed right. A fate almost as annoying as death. She was grateful they had made it back in one piece, because it was pretty fucking close for a second there. Wouldn’t that have been a fun way to say fuck you to the Illusive Man. She thought. Oops I died again. She choked on a strangled giggle as she applied more medi-gel. Kasumi’s eyes darting back to her. Miranda would have lost her mind if she’d broken the merchandise before she served her purpose. The ride to the Citadel from the neighboring Boltzmann system would take a few hours, just enough time for the medi-gel to work its magic, leaving fresh pink skin across shoulder and hip.

Shepard had stripped out of her singed armor and taken some time in the shuttle’s head to clean herself up. Satisfied with the progress of her burns, the shiny pink skin was sensitive but no longer burning, she silently cursed herself for not packing another set of clothes. Nothing for it, she’d have to wear that stupid cocktail dress. It was the only clothing that wasn’t Swiss cheese. Her whole kit was a fucking mess. The shields had taken a beating and plasma had scorched through the pauldron and hip plate, hence the bacon smell of cooked flesh. Hell, even her underwear hadn’t survived the massacre. She added them to the heap in disgust, an angry tsk escaping her lips and garnering another side eyed glance from Kasumi.

“What?” She hadn’t missed the other woman’s eyes darting away.

“Nothing!” Kasumi squeaked.

Shepard’s eyes narrowed, but she left it alone, instead deciding to fantasize about when the Kodiak docked with the slumbering Normandy. She’d skip the visit to Chakwas and head straight towards her quarters. A shower. A drink. A nap. She was definitely looking forward to the downtime necessitated by the Normandy’s maintenance. Maybe she’d have that drink first, then the shower, then the nap… If everyone could just keep their personal needs to a minimum for the rest of the shore leave that would be just fucking great.

~~~

Zaeed knew the moment Shepard’s Kodiak had hailed the Normandy to start docking protocols. He had been laying awake in his bunk, nursing his bad mood with a bit of nicked whiskey when the alert popped up on the scrambled piggyback channel. He’d installed back door protocols, skeleton keys and camera workarounds for the entire ship the first week he’d been aboard and had managed to avoid EDI’s interference so far. Not much happened that he wasn’t immediately aware of. He took evil pleasure in how much that would annoy Lawson.

He watched the Kodiak touch down in the deserted cargo hold from the rerouted security monitor in his storage closet. She’d stepped down from the hatch barefoot and carrying her heels, still wearing that sin of a dress as she headed for the elevator. Cheeky minx. A pent up tension he’d carried since her departure eased between his shoulders.

A quiet “huh” escaped his pursed lips. Her usual efficient movements looked reserved, as she turned back to the Kodiak to say something to Goto, he could see the noticeably reddened skin down her arm. Healed skin, Medi-gel slick. Apparently the heist didn’t go as smoothly as the report he’d pilfered off Chamber’s data pad had indicated. The little shit had lied on her official report. The slow anger mingled with the relief. She definitely could have died, but she didn’t, but she could have. She had been injured and had managed it herself to appear no worse for wear. Prideful thing.

Zaeed grunted. Coming to some kind of decision before he could look more closely at his motivations. He snatched up the half empty bottle and headed for the door. How they left things had quietly ate away at him. And now that he knew she made it out alive, he was compelled to finish what they started. Glancing at his reflection in the window overlooking the cargo hold he grimaced. He’d always have a fucked up mug, the scars of his face telling of a dangerous life lived, but that hadn’t seemed to matter to her.

Tapping a quick loop in the corridor cameras along the way, he slid unnoticed to the service hatch and made his way upstairs. He beat Shepard to her quarters and used the skeleton key protocol on his omni-tool to let himself in. He hadn’t been up here since he’d slept in her bed the night she’d drunk herself stupid over some idiot boy. He still thought about how, under different circumstances, that night could have gone. He’d laid awake most of that night listening to her quiet breathing, marveling at how sleep softened all her hard edges. He was the idiot.

Zaeed had debated with himself over and over again to let whatever their last meeting had stirred up die a quiet, dignified death. Never to be spoken of again. He took a deep swig of the amber liquid and set the bottle down on her desk. He wasn’t the “go quietly” kinda guy though, and he sure as shit wasn’t a coward. He hoped she wasn’t either.

~~~

The door whooshed open and his entire body stiffened, the black work of his tattoos shifting as his folded arms tightened. He had leaned against the the wall beside the door, failing miserably at trying to affect casualness. He had rehearsed so many clever opening lines. Hey sweetheart. Hey kitten. Hey princess. I told you so. I’m glad you’re alive. I’m sorry? Second guessing every life choice that led him here. But he had to be here. They had unfinished business.

Her head was down as she stepped over the threshold. Throwing her shoes across the room with a clatter, she was lost in thought, her guard down. Zaeed really meant to talk to her. To clear the air, to give her shit, but he watched her pull that maddening quantity of hair from its binding, its shiny curtain hiding him from her view and his fingers twitched.

All his smooth plans slid out of his addled brain. He was so fucked.

Before he could assess the stupidity of his actions, Zaeed’s calloused hand wrapping around her wrist, mirroring how their last encounter started, he pulled her towards him. And again, that uncharacteristically feminine gasp as she collided against him. Her breasts pressed flush against his chest, solid and warm and all her.

It was a fucking match and he was ignited.

Lightning quick, Shepard’s free hand had instinctively come up to lock around his throat, her thumb pressed against his thundering pulse, ready to squeeze the life she held out of him. Her wide eyes met his, darting across his face as recognition dawned.

“Zaeed?” Her breathy whisper escaping full, parted lips tightened his chest and went straight to his cock. She didn’t let go.

He was truly fucked.

Zaeed took the split second of her not kicking his ass as an invitation to commit suicide and with a sandpaper growl slotted his mouth across hers. Words replaced by action. This wasn’t his plan but god dammit, she kissed him back. Her tongue followed the seam of his lower lip before teasing inside, she swallowed his answering groan and leaned in.

He dropped her captured wrist and slid battle hardened hands under the curve of her ass, lifting as he slammed her against the bulkhead. His narrow hips pinning her against the wall, she instinctively wrapped those long legs around him, distributing her weight and freeing his hands. In for a penny, he thought as she molded her free hand along his jaw, guiding his mouth were she wanted it, teeth nipping, tongue soothing the sting. She sure as shit wasn’t a coward.

Following the curve of slit bared thigh with one hand, he slid the other into that glorious hair. He was going to live out one of his thousands of fantasies, before she could strangle him to death. He pulled her hair tight in his fist and her lips broke from his on a wet gasp. Her eyes hooded, burning and the groan the tension pulled from her lips was a fucking drug.

Her thumb ran the groove of his neck muscle, her eyes following it’s path, watching the havoc it wreaked across his face and he was harder than he’d been in his life. Her thumb dug a little deeper into his neck and he saw stars.

“Fuck, girl.” He tortured voice squeezed past her grip as his hips rutted against her warm core separated by only a few flimsy layers of cloth. He rolled his hips against her again and she groaned in return.

“Please.” She ground out, her head craned back from the tension, exposing the smooth column of her neck.

“Please, what?” His voice rasped. His lips and teeth trailing down her neck before nipping hard at her sensitive bared shoulder, marking the freshly repaired skin.

“Fuck me Zaeed.”

“Is that an order Commander?” He teased. Rolling his hips again.

“Yesss.” She hissed.

He chuckled darkly and she squeezed again cutting off his air before easing up. If she killed him, he’d die happy.

“Hold tight baby.” He mouthed against her skin and brought her away from the wall to drop her unceremoniously on her desk. Shoving aside the bottle of forgotten whiskey, data pads and ship models he stood between her bent knees working on fantasy number two. He ran his hands up her thighs trying to ruch up her too tight dress. What was once a mouth watering trigger was the bane of his fucking existence.

“Goddamn it. You like this dress princess?” He growled out.

“I fucking hate it.” Her voice vehement, her hands frantically scrambled across the plans of his abs, fisting at his hips and yanking the shirt from his pants. He leaned back allowing her to pull it from his body. He was all hard planes, scar tissue and ink. A taught body used as a weapon and a canvas and he could feel her eyes leaving a trail of fire wherever they landed. Frozen for a moment in her observation, he took her distraction to his advantage.

“Good.” The glint in his eyes feral as he grabbed the slitted seam and with an angry grunt tore it from hem to neckline. Jesus Christ. She wasn’t wearing any underwear. All of Commander Logan Shepard was suddenly on display for him and he was struck dumb. His hands sliding along her ribs of their own volition. Thumbs grazing the gentle curve of her petite, high breasts to cup gently. She was an athlete, lean muscle clad in silken new skin. The reconstruction scars all but faded, leaving a faint map for him to follow. How could his mouth water and be dry at the same time? He choked down a swallow.

“God, you’re beautiful.” His voice cracked, full of reverence.

“Zaeed,” her voice exasperated as she grabbed his pants at the V of his hips to pull him in. “I gave you an order.”

His bark of laughter cracked.

“You’re a goddamn brat, you know that?” He said, grabbing her behind the knees and dragging her to the edge of the desk.

“You like me this way old man.” Her voice thick and sultry as she fumbled with his tabs.

Zaeed wasn’t ready to give in to her every whim. She was a brat too used to calling all the shots and getting her way. He’d show her the benefit of experience. He slapped her hands away from his pants and dropped to his knees between her dangling legs.

“Wh.. what are you doing.” She stammered.

“Whatever I want.” His insolent reply. “Are you ticklish sweetheart?” His voice now heavy with threat.

“Zaeed…” Her voice suddenly high with panic.

Zaeed tilted his worn face up to to her. His mismatched eyes were bottomless as he slowly slid one of her legs over his shoulder, daring her to stop him. His hand resting heavy at the crease of her hip, locking her there before using his other hand to press her dangling knee wide, exposing all of her to him. He never took his eyes from her as ran his stubbled jaw across her inner thigh. Like a big cat scenting, he abraded the delicate skin and her breathing hitched. He couldn’t keep the satisfied smirk from his lips. He watched the charming pink flush across her chest, but she remained fixed.

Her breath was ragged now as she watched him with wide, glittering eyes. He’d never seen her so rattled, so out of control her hands gripping the desk edge for support. He felt like a god there between her thighs. Zaeed watched her closely as he moved his way up towards her glistening core. Ghosting the back of his knuckles against her thigh, closer and closer and closer still.

“Do you want this?” He asked. Pivoting from his earlier bravado.

“God dammit Zaeed, yes!” She yelled back and he huffed in agreement before laying his mouth against her to drown in her flavor. They both groaned in satisfaction, his eyes daring her to look away and goddamn she was no coward. She fisted her hand in his hair and bucked up into his mouth dragging a groan from him he swore went straight to her cunt by the sudden increase in slickness.

Doubling his efforts, Zaeed alternated his attack. Laving flat tongue to a point and flick, he sucked her sensitive bud into his mouth and Shepard’s eyes rolled closed as her head tipped back on a strangled moan. He could feel her body tense and jerk when he hit that particularly responsive spot. He couldn’t remember a meal he’d enjoyed more as he buried his face against her. She was sweet and salty and fucking wet. This was everything he’d imagined, but he could do more. He flicked his tongue once more against that swollen nub before dragging himself away. Her desperate whine at the sudden loss swallowed as he kissed her. Her tastes mingling on his tongue, he wouldn’t leave her bereft.

All that weapon honed dexterity meant that Zaeed had talented hands which he put to good use sliding through her folds. One finger, knuckle deep, two, pressing his palm against her mound as she rode against his hand, her nails latched into the backs of his arms. Taught muscle gripped tight as her only anchor to reality. The calloused thumb of his other hand grazing over the edges of her breast, cupping the tidy handful, her nipple rolled between nimble fingers before migrating back to her hair, cradling her skull as he worked her over. His mouth swallowing the moans and sighs and filthy words he dragged from her lips.

“Fuck.” She hissed again. “Please.” Coherent sentences failing, but the desperation clear as a bell. She slid her hands down to his pants. Her intentions to divest him of the rest of his clothing.

“Use your words princess.” His breath warm in the shell of her ear. His teeth grazing.

“Fuck me Zaeed.” Her impatience burned in each syllable.

He slanted his mouth over hers again before deftly popping the tabs on his pants and shoving the fly aside. He needed her as much as she needed him. He didn’t have time to shed his boots and pants. His wicked games in the end tortured them both.

Freed from its confines, Zaeed pulled his hand from her moist folds to take the heavy weight of his cock in hand, pumping twice before running the swollen head against her slick and she keened. The sound was music to him. He hadn’t wanted a woman this bad in all his long memory and he savored the precipice before sliding home, one agonizing inch at a time.

Jesus. He was going to die.

He went torturously slow to allow her time to adjust before Zaeed finally came to rest, hilted deep on her exalted sigh and him almost in pain at holding his control. Every nerve was on fire, his body as tight as a bow as he covered her, holding onto her hip to anchor them both. She was so fucking warm, so tight, so perfect. His soul felt like it was leaving his body.

He was definitely going to die.

Shepard hooked her legs over his hips, locking her heels at the small of his back and drew him in closer. His self control stretched to its breaking point and he pressed his forehead to hers, eyes dipping closed. Their ragged breathing tied and suddenly everything was much more serious. This wasn’t about power struggles, or blowing of some good natured sexual tension. She had somehow replaced a life of hollow, selfish existence with something more. He was laid raw before her.

“You don’t know what hell you put me through.” His voice was rough with need and emotion.

“Show me.” Her response a challenge and his eyes shot open, locking with hers. Always there to push him farther.

Zaeed threaded his hand into her hair again. Holding her immobile before him so he could watch her face as he torturously dragged himself from her. Slowly, slowly back before slamming home again. All of her passion. All of her need was written across her features. Her pupils blown and mouth a pretty “o” as he fucked into her again, building speed and force until they both held on for dear life. The repeated thud of his hips against hers thick and meaty, in time with her breathy moans. He was quickly approaching that cliff’s edge and he’d be damned if he didn’t shove her off first. He was not gentle and the sting of racked nails meant she wasn’t either.

God, he hopped they scarred.

Zaeed crashed his mouth into hers, swallowing her cries and pouring all of his repressed anger and lust and fear into her. He reached between their fevered bodies and dragged a heavy thumb across her clit. Once, twice, he could feel she was close. Her walls fluttering and her breath shallow and quick. A third time and over the edge she went, clamping down on him like a vice and her voice strangled on his name.

“I got you baby.” He whispered as he slowed his pace, fucking her gently through her orgasm. Shepard’s eyes fluttered open, and she slid her hand across the flat plane of his chest, to encircle his throat again. Thumb back into that groove like it was made for her. She lightly applied pressure.

“Who told you to stop?” The command back in her voice.

Zaeed’s guttural groan rumbled through them as he picked up his pace and effort. Hard and harder still chasing his own release. His fingers leaving bruises across her hips as he dug in. Pistoning in and out, chasing that ragged edge as he watched their bodies join and separate with a violence that would scare a lesser woman. But not her. She stroked the corded muscles of his neck, applying the perfect level of pressure, her eyes hooded as shallow grunts left her on each thrust.

There was no question who held the reins here. She fucking owned him. She held his being in the palm of her hand and the grip of her cunt and if he died now. It was worth it.

“Come for me, Zaeed.” Her voice whisper soft and it threw him across that edge. He buried himself deep with a howl and filled her. Shallow thrusts riding the aftershocks until he stilled. His breathing ragged with his face buried in her neck. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him close to her breast, as it took everything to hold himself up, let alone together.

After a moment of relearning to breathe he pushed away from her. Searching her face for the rejection he knew was coming next. Thanks for the fun, now get the fuck out. He searched her face for a hint of the acid to come. But her eyes were soft, her smile satisfied. She gently brushed a lock of his faded hair from his forehead back and out of his eyes.

“Take me to bed Zaeed.” She was back to giving orders.

“Yes ma’am.” He hummed low.

#mass effect #mass effect 2 #zaeed massani #fem!shep #Zaeed massani x fem!shep #fanfic #fanfiction #tinmunky writes #no galaxy for old men #smut #Zaeed can’t handle his emotions #fuck it out

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dirtybiowareconfessions · 5 years

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Confession: I’m not an ass girl per se. But Zaeed’s? I’d peg it.

#Zaeed Massani #Mass Effect #mass effect 2 #mass effect 3 #lemon #smut

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candycoatddalek · 2 years

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CandyD’s Gaming Fanfiction Master Post

Here’s a master post of all my gaming fanfiction written works. List is in alphabetical order by game. I don’t normally take requests unless I feel like it so unless I put up a post or something on my sidebar that says requests are open please don’t make requests because they won’t be answered.

Check out the Key below to see how I tag my warnings on things, I’ve tried to place warnings on those fic’s that I feel may need it but I’m only human and some times miss some things, kindly send me a message if you think something needs to be tagged with a warning.

If you want to get an introduction to my OC’s take a look at this page.

Enjoy!

Other Masterlists.

Music|Original Fiction|Otome|Real Life|TV/Movie

OC’s|MC’s

Key

Newest stories: N!

Smut: NSFW

Violence: V!

Horror: H!

Non-Con: N/C!

Last Updated: 17/05/2022

Assassins Creed 3

(Memory Fragments: AC3)

Connor Kenway

Oneshots

Assassins Creed: Syndicate

(Memory Fragments:ACS)

Jacob Frye

Mini Series

Oneshots

Cyberpunk 2077

(Relic Malfunctions)

General

Oneshots

Johnny Silverhand

Oneshots

= A Dirty Surprise (NSFW) (N!)

= Dress to Impress (N!)

River Ward

Oneshots

Saul Bright

Oneshots

Viktor Vektor

Oneshots

Dragon Age: Origins

(The Warden’s Burdens)

Zevran Arainai

Oneshots

Dragon Age 2

(Hawke’s Hidden Tales)

Fenris

Oneshots

Sebastian Vale

Oneshots

Dragon Age Inquisition

(Inquisition Secrets)

Iron Bull

Oneshots

Solas

Series

= Uth-Shiral Series

1. Vir’Revasan. | 2. Vir’Enasalin. | 3. |

Mini Series

Oneshots

Duskwood

(Duskwood Mysteries)

Dan

Oneshots

Jake

Oneshots

Fallout 3

(Vault-Tec Secrets: FO3)

Charon

Oneshots

Fallout 4

(Vault-Tec Secrets: FO4)

John Hancock

Oneshots

Lovelink

Character

Oneshots

Mass Effect 1,2,3

(Normandy Corrupted Data Files)

General

Mini Series

Oneshots

James Vega

Oneshots

Liara T'soni

Oneshots

Thane Krios

Oneshots

Zaeed Massani

Oneshots

Mass Effect Andromeda

(Pathfinder Private Files)

General

Oneshots

Jaal Ama Davar

Oneshots

Liam Kosta

Oneshots

Peebee

Oneshots

Reyes Vidal

Series

Oneshots

Vetra

Oneshots

MeChat

Character

Oneshots

#CandyD's Master Posts #CandyD Writes

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clericofshadows · 7 months

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20 Fanfic Questions

tagged by the lovely @rotschopf-thedrow

How many works do you have on AO3?

What's your total AO3 word count?

81,052

What fandoms do you write for?

Mass Effect and only Mass Effect!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

something to look forward to late night conversations space big place! the offer I'm very surprised by the offer since it's... not the kindest interpretation of a relationship between Shepard and Anderson but I'm not complaining.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I don't get many so when I do it's such a lovely treat and I want to gush and interact <3

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

space, for sure. Established Regis's fear of dying in space by making him die in space with Kaidan listening in.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Arguably feeling numb, lost in time as it has Kaidan, Regis, and Zaeed working towards their triad again, Regis and Kaidan reuniting for a brief moment during ME2, and Regis getting some news and slowly getting closure on his resurrection, but it's bittersweet.

Do you get hate on fics?

Do you write smut. If so what kind?

On occasion. I'm not the best at it, but I range from vanilla to light dom/sub dynamics. I try to stay away from too much detail, can be a bit vague sometimes, and usually don't draw it out. I want to get better, but it's hard... (no pun intended). I have some WIPs that explore those dynamics a bit, especially between the duos in my main triad.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not any published, but I do love them. I'd like to one day write some ME/Star Trek or something along those lines with some universe travelling, but idk if I'll ever put pen to paper.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, or rather, not to my knowledge.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Male Shepard/Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani with any combo of that triad.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have a WIP of Zaeed meeting the Alenkos, some family dynamics with Vikram and Adrian, and Kaidan learning how to Reave as well as telling Zaeed about BAaT, but it's all over the place and I really want to get back to it, but it's not letting me. I think it doesn't help that I haven't established too much about BAaT in my head with Regis, and that writing the Alenko parents is a bit difficult. I love the little universe I've created between ME1-ME2 and I want to explore Kaidan's and Zaeed's grief, their growing relationship, and Kaidan and Hackett dynamics more... I hope to find the inspo one day.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, character dynamics/exploration

What are your writing weaknesses?

Too much dialogue, not enough description/action. Hardest part of my WIPs is filling in all the space between dialogue, and my characters can't stop talking.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's not something I've explored yet, but I prefer having things translated in fic (or formatted in such as way that makes it quick to translate it). It's likely not something I'll do myself.

First fandom you wrote for?

Publicly? Mass Effect. Privately? Back in middle school I wrote a bit of fic for the Mortal Instruments series, was quite obsessed with it as a teen.

Favourite fic you've ever written?

That's a hard one... honestly, you got me in a chokehold, the fic where Kaidan and Zaeed meet and hookup after Regis's death is one of my favorites. Fun to write, explore, and start dealing with my triad with one meetup at a time. but don't ask about Ryuusei is another fic that I adored writing and exploring my version of Citadel DLC. I need to continue that little series, but writing the casino date with the triad is proving difficult lol.

tagging anyone who sees this and wants to participate!

#tag game

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veryloudfish · 3 years

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Chapters: 15/? Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Pitch Black (2000), Riddick (2013), The Chronicles of Riddick (2004) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jack | Subject Zero/Richard B. Riddick, Jack | Kyra/Richard B. Riddick Characters: Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Richard B. Riddick, Jack | Subject Zero, Jack | Kyra, Miranda Lawson, Jacob Taylor, Sharon "Shazza" Montgomery, John "Zeke" Ezekiel, William Johns, Carolyn Fry, Garrus Vakarian, Grunt (Mass Effect), Jeff "Joker" Moreau, EDI (Mass Effect), Mordin Solus, Kelly Chambers, Zaeed Massani, Karin Chakwas, Kasumi Goto, Imam Abu al-Walid, Suleiman (Pitch Black), Ali (Pitch Black), Hassan (Pitch Black), Paris P. Ogilvie Additional Tags: Crossover, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Violence, Retelling, Other: See Story Notes Series: Part 2 of The Furyan and The Biotic Summary:

What if Jack on the Hunter-Gratzner was actually Subject Zero right after she escaped the Cerberus Teltin facility on Pragia? Riddick and Jack teamed up and made it off planet with the other survivors, minus one pesky merc.

Eight years later, Riddick has returned from the Underverse and is searching for Jack. He hasn't seen her since they were separated when New Mecca fell to the Necromongers.

Commander Shepard was dead until Cerberus brought her back to stop the Collectors. Riddick is her first recruitment stop, and she has another dossier he'll find very interesting.

A crossover/retelling of Mass Effect 2, post modified events of Pitch Black, Chronicles of Riddick and Riddick, where Jack is both Jack|Kyra and Jack|Subject Zero.

#riddick #mass effect #chronicles of riddick #pitch black #femshep #commander shepard #jack #subject zero #fanfic #retelling #crossover

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queercraftingchonk · 3 years

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Chapters: 8/? Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian/Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, EDI/Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Ex-Liara/Female Shepard Characters: Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Garrus Vakarian, Legion (Mass Effect), Liara T'Soni, EDI (Mass Effect), Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Karin Chakwas, Hannah Shepard, Castis Vakarian, Solana Vakarian, Zaeed Massani, Grunt (Mass Effect), Urdnot Wrex, Samantha Traynor, Samara (Mass Effect), James Vega, Jack | Subject Zero, Kaidan Alenko, Steve Cortez, Kasumi Goto Additional Tags: Established Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Universe, Post-Mass Effect 3, Synthesis Ending (Mass Effect), Fix-It of Sorts, Injury Recovery, Disability, Biotics (Mass Effect), Biotic Shepard (Mass Effect), Trans Female Character, Trans Shepard (Mass Effect), Interspecies Romance, Weddings, Hospitalization, Spacer (Mass Effect), Sentinel (Mass Effect), War Hero (Mass Effect), Queer Friendly, Interspecies Sex, Geth (Mass Effect), Destroy Ending (Mass Effect), Control Ending (Mass Effect), This Machine Kills Fascists, Mild Smut, Explicit Scenes Marked, eventual throuple Series: Part 2 of The Biotics of Just Shepard Summary:

Shepard rejects the Catalyst's curated options...and when the apparent ghost of Legion comes to her aid, she entrusts both the galaxy's fate--and her own--to him. She is rewarded with a life where she kept her promise to Garrus. Yet, questions persist regarding the Crucible; finding the answers will require fighting some xenophobic fascists, reconnecting the Geth Consensus, and maybe even getting married.

"Remember, Shepard-Commander: The first thing a god masters is herself."

(Former Work Title: Shepard-Commander's Promises)

#mass effect fanfiction #shakarian #shalibrations #garrus x femshep

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rosebud1773 · 3 years

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So it begins...

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, James Vega/Original Female Turian Character(s), Nihlus Kryik/Solana Vakarian, EDI & Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Kal'Reegar/Tali'Zorah vas Normandy Characters: Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Garrus Vakarian, Mordin Solus, Urdnot Wrex, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, Steve Cortez, Steven Hackett, Space Hamster, Grunt (Mass Effect), Jack | Subject Zero, Male Shepard (Mass Effect), Zaeed Massani, Thane Krios, David Anderson (Mass Effect), Kahlee Sanders, Kaidan Alenko, Karin Chakwas, Castis Vakarian, Ashley Williams, Rachni Queen, Adrien Victus, Original Asari Character(s), Chellick (Mass Effect), Tevos (Mass Effect), Sparatus (Mass Effect), Valern (Mass Effect), Solana Vakarian, Garrus Vakarian's Mother, Urdnot Bakara | Eve, Shadow Broker, Original Krogan Character(s), Original Turian Character(s), Original Salarian Character(s), Kal'Reegar (Mass Effect) Additional Tags: Epic Friendship, Epic, Epic Love, Epic Battles, Romance, Love, Alien Sex, Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Alternate Universe, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Shower Sex, Violence, Action/Adventure, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Humor, Angst, Drama, Near Death Experiences, Near Death, Gunshot Wounds, Blood and Gore, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex Series: Part 6 of Welcome to the Snark Side: A Shakarian Trip Summary:

The war is over. Shepard saved us all. She beat the odds and sent the Reapers back to hell. It's time to rebuild. Rebuild our worlds, our galactic society... our lives. As the rest of the galaxy looks to the future with new hope, I'm wondering... are you out there somewhere? Did you somehow survive? It is... an awfully empty galaxy... without you.

- Garrus Vakarian

#mass effet #mass effect trilogy #mass effect fanfiction #femshep x garrus

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roorreer · 4 years

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Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian Characters: Garrus Vakarian, Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Castis Vakarian, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Liara T'Soni, Urdnot Wrex, Kaidan Alenko, Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Miranda Lawson, Mordin Solus, Kasumi Goto, Zaeed Massani Additional Tags: Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Paragon Shepard (Mass Effect), not a strict retelling, Through the trilogy, Mass effect 3 will mention EGM, Spacer (Mass Effect), Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), No Shepard without Vakarian, shepard has adhd, bc I have adhd and I gotta sprinkle that in my characters, I'm Bad At Summaries Series: Part 1 of Paragon Series Summary:

Since he had met her Garrus put Shepard on pedastal. He thought he was unmoveable, indomitable.

At least until her death, it isn't until she returns from the grave could Garrus fall in love with how human she really is.

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A mostly loyal retelling of the Mass Effect Trilogy. Enough difference to add it's own flavour to the fic.

#garrus x femshep #shepard x garrus #shakarian #I guess I'll cross post here every game #and It's mass effect 2 time

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starsandskies · 5 years

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2018 Writer’s Roundup

I was tagged by @natsora, and @pikapeppa ♥ Thank you both!

Words written in 2018: 26,976. Wow, it’s me, so... those are so many words!

Number of short fic written in 2018: 7.

Number of fic chapters written in 2018: 2.

Number of chaptered fic completed in 2018: 0.

Fandoms: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Andromeda, Dragon Age Inquisition and Far Cry 5.

Pairings: James Vega/FemShep, Joker Moreau/FemShep, Admiral Hackett/FemShep, Zaeed Massani/FemShep, Reyes Vidal/Sara Ryder, Harry Carlyle/Sara Ryder, Garrett Hawke/Trevelyan, John Seed/Female Deputy, Joseph Seed/Female Deputy.

Proudest achievements:

I wrote smut in English for the first time. It’s hard, and I’m not entirely happy with it, but I’m learning, and I’m really proud of it.

I got to finish three prompts for the Summer Smutfest, and I took part in the Fictober event even if it was only with one prompt. Much more than I expected for sure.

I got so many kudos, and comments and I’m still amazed at that. Thank you ♥

And... I just wrote, struggling with my fears and a foreign language, so I'm really proud of all the shit I got to post during 2018.

Writing resolutions for 2019:

Complete all the prompts I still have in my ask box.

And keep writing and improving! Step by step, not rushing myself to participate in events or please anyone... just keep doing it for me.

I’ll tag: @naromoreau, @conqueringthespace, @fereldanwench, @obvidalous, @melaena, @windysuspirations, @a-shakespearean-in-paris, @rock-paperback-scissors, @somnaborium, @juleshawke and anyone who wants to do this! No obligation, of course.

#my writing

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spectre-requisitions-exchange · 5 years

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1 Post-Deadline Pinch Hit

Assignments are mostly in, and while we have some extentions out, we do have one new pinch hit posted that we need a good come for. The absolute deadline for this is Friday, 15 Mar 2019 06:00PM EDT but ideally the sooner, the better. If you want to take this pinch hit, send the mods an email at [email protected] or send our inbox a PM with your Ao3 username.

Post-Deadline Pinch Hit #1 (keita52): Greg Adams/Karin Chakwas, Karin Chakwas/Adrien Victus, Karin Chakwas/Steven Hackett, Karin Chakwas/Zaeed Massani, Karin Chakwas/Septimus Oraka, Miranda Lawson/Garrus Vakarian, Female Shepard/Ashley Williams, Miranda Lawson/Female Shepard, Kirrahe/Mordin Solus, Nakmor Drack/Urdnot Wrex, Liam Kosta/Female Ryder | Sara, Nakmor Kesh/Vorn, Suvi Anwar/Peebee, Vetra Nyx/Peebee, Jaal Ama Darav/Peebee, Jaal Ama Darav/Peebee/Female Ryder | Sar (Fanart, Fanfiction)

EDIT:CLAIMED!

Request 1 by keita52

Mass Effect - All Media Types Greg Adams/Karin Chakwas, Karin Chakwas/Adrien Victus, Fanart, Fanfiction

Adams/Chakwas: That scene in 3 where Chakwas confesses to Adams that she’s not okay with what happened on the Collector Base… right in the feels! That clearly shows that Chakwas trusts him enough to tell him the truth. Does Adams feel guilty for not having been there to help her? Were they an item before or does that only start when he returns to the Normandy?

Chakwas/Victus: I'd love to see a developing relationship between the two of them while Victus is on the Normandy. He's lost his son and been thrust into a position of power he wasn't prepared for -- what drives him to seek Chakwas' company? What does she see in him that sparks her interest? How do they handle the inevitable separation? What happens after the Reaper War? I can see this one being a bit bittersweet, where they have a good time together but have to content themselves with less after Victus leaves the Normandy.