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alwaysmicado · 2 months

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Sunshine

6.7k | 18+ MDNI | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader | pt. 7

Warnings: no outbreak AU, implied age gap, alcohol & painkillers, a little kiss, lots of sarcasm, angst, jealousy (reader would never!) Summary: A spontaneous meeting in a bar lays bare some uncomfortable truths. A/N: Why be sad when you can just turn off your feelings and not be sad anymore? It’s so easy. /s I can't tell you how much your messages about this series mean to me!! I love talking to you about it and I appreciate your enthusiasm and support soooo much!! Enjoy this part and let me know your thoughts! 🤍

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The Birds Don’t Sing, They Screech in Pain

– Werner Herzog

– – –

You don’t have feelings. You don’t have a heart. The world is a joke and nothing you do matters.

And you got a great ass.

So fuck it.

You close the mirror cabinet and look at your reflection. The steam from your recent shower lingers in the air, creating a hazy atmosphere around you. With a determined gaze, you meet your own eyes, trying to convince yourself of what you so desperately want to believe.

You. Don’t. Have. Feelings.

Sighing exasperatedly, you leave the bathroom to go get dressed. You eye the empty space on the wall where the mirror used to hang in passing and can’t help but smile sardonically at the clean floor below. Who knew you had such a talent for cleaning blood?

If your current job doesn’t work out in the long run, crime scene cleaner could be a viable alternative.

You rummage through your drawer for a fresh pair of panties, a soft bralette without any bothersome hooks, and a flowy dress you can easily pull over your head. Comfort is key today. Your morning shower proved tricky enough, but you managed somehow, maneuvering very ungracefully to keep your injured hand dry.

Thankfully, you were smart enough to go to bed early last night and get up in time this morning, allowing you ample time to change the bandages and dress yourself with just one functional hand.

Exhaustion still lingers in every single one of your bones, but you’re determined to not let it get you down. Not again. So, you pour yourself a cup of strong coffee, sit outside on your balcony, pop the painkillers you got at the emergency clinic on Sunday, and browse the internet for a new mirror.

The sun kissing your skin feels nice, and the fresh air invigorates your senses. There’s even a flock of birds doing their choreographed dance in the sky. Just for you. You’re living in a goddamn dream, aren’t you?

You scoff, down the rest of your coffee, cough when it goes down the wrong pipe, and go back inside once you don’t feel like you’re choking to death anymore. It’s time for work.

Your boss graciously let you work from home on Monday and Tuesday, but since there’s an important meeting scheduled this morning, she’s asked you to come to the office today. The meds should get you through the day, you’ll just have to figure out how to do your job effectively without the ability to type with your right hand.

You could try to push some of your workload onto the new intern who’s been unsuccessfully trying to flirt with you for the past month, but he strikes you as the type to show up with flowers and a teddy bear after you compliment his sneakers once — it’s probably not the best idea to entertain him.

An office romance sounds hot on paper, but your job is the only halfway stable thing in your life, so you don’t want to mess it up for some guy. Especially if said guy looks young enough to get carded in bars.

Why can’t you just not need money and not have to go to work at all? Is that really too much to ask?

“Get your shit together,” you murmur to yourself as you grab your bag, your keys, and quickly check your appearance in the bathroom mirror. Eh, you look fine considering the messed-up past few days you had. The black wrist brace is kind of derpy—you can already see Kristen giggling at it and very much not believing any excuse you invent for it—but the smile you force onto your face looks virtually natural.

What a little sunshine you are.

Sandals on your feet, sunglasses sitting on your nose, wireless earbuds in your ears, your top three songs of the week on a blissful loop, you start your walk to the office. Nothing bad can touch you when the rhythm of your favorite beats courses through your veins, encapsulating you in an invincible cocoon.

For the first few minutes at least.

Your pulse quickens and your chest tightens as the gas station, where Joel could barely wait to pull out of you before gushing about his date, comes into view. And of course, Chris, the clerk, steps outside right as you pass it to inexplicably water the two withered plants next to the entrance.

You attempt to speed walk, hoping to avoid an embarrassing encounter, but where’s the fun in that, right? Sure enough, you hear him calling after you.

You roll your eyes behind your glasses and reluctantly stop, pulling out one of your earbuds as you turn to face him. His eyes fixate on the black brace around your wrist.

“What happened to your hand? Too much fun on the weekend?” he asks, a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

You sigh, not in the mood for a detailed conversation, and also very much aware of what he’s probably insinuating. “Just a little accident at home,” you reply, keeping it vague. “Don’t do yoga if you’re drunk.”

He chuckles. “I’ll keep that in mind.” When he realizes you’re not going to say anything else, he’s nice enough to not keep you any longer. “Well, I hope it heals soon. And let me know if you, uh, need anything. You know where to find me.”

You nod, offering a polite smile, and continue on your way, reinserting the earbud to drown out the world. You turn up the volume, lip-sync, and ignore Joel’s call without missing a beat.

– – –

“Please, tell me. Please, please, please. Come on…you know you’re gonna tell me eventually, so let’s just save us some time and get it over with. You know I can keep a secret.”

As expected, Kristen is very intrigued by your wrist brace. In fact, she has been switching between begging for you to tell her what happened and coming up with some outlandish theories since you sat down at your desk four hours ago. To nobody’s surprise, they all involve some sort of sex accident.

It’s kind of funny, though, that none of the elaborate stories she imagines come close to capturing the absurdity of your reality. Oh well, you’re used to it by now. And yet, there’s no way in hell you’re going to divulge one of your most vulnerable and embarrassing moments to her. Not a chance.

“I already told you,” you say without stopping your one-handed typing. “I got drunk watching The Bachelor and then my genius brain decided that was the perfect moment to try out some new yoga positions. It’s a miracle I only sprained my wrist and didn’t break my neck.” You put on your most convincing smile and look at her. “It’s embarrassing as shit, okay? I mean, look at this thing,” you point at your injured hand. “I look like a kid who fell off a swing on the playground.”

Kristen giggles and is about to say something, but right at that moment, she receives a phone call from a client. She sighs, narrows her eyes, and mouths, “This is not over.” You wink at her and go back to typing with your left hand, occasionally swearing under your breath when you hit the wrong keys. This is all so much fun.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur of emails, phone calls, bad coffee, painkillers, Kristen putting a heart sticker on your wrist brace, another meeting, and your phone lighting up with new messages from Joel.

By 5:30 p.m. your brain is about to explode, so you decide to call it a day and leave. There’s a frozen pizza waiting for you at home and you can hear your pajamas and sofa calling your name. Sweet, sweet solitude; it’s so close you can feel it. You just have to walk out fast eno–

“Drinks.”

“Did you seriously just hide behind that plant and jump out?” you chuckle, and Kristen’s grin tells you that is absolutely, one hundred percent what just happened.

“Drinks,” she repeats. And when you open your mouth, she says it again, but this time she gives you her most adorable pout.

“Okay, okay,” you say with a playful roll of your eyes. “You can stop the puppy routine.”

“I love how easy you are,” she beams at you and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Let’s go!”

The warmth of the summer evening envelops you both as you step outside. The sun, still casting its golden hues across the city, paints the urban landscape with a vibrant palette. Kristen, with a fancy sun hat perched on her head that perfectly complements her black hair, looks for bars near you on her phone.

As you try to decide on a bar, the balmy air carries the distant sounds of the city’s summer symphony. The occasional laughter from a nearby cafe mingles with the hum of traffic, creating a lively backdrop to your anticipation.

Amidst the ambient noise, your phone buzzes with Tommy’s name flashing on the screen. You answer, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Hi Tommy.”

“Hi honey,” Tommy’s voice comes through, the background noise indicating he’s at a lively place. “Just calling to ask how you’re doing today.”

“You know you don’t need to call me every day to ask me that, right?” you chuckle, still unable to understand why he even cares. You don’t deserve him.

“Come on, it’s the highlight of my day,” he says in mock offense, and you can perfectly picture the grin on his face.

“Well, if it’s that important to you…” you say, a smile on your lips. “I’m good. My friend and I are going for drinks. Just need to decide on a bar first.”

“What a perfect coincidence! I’m at this new place right now. They got great burgers and drinks, even non-alcoholic stuff,” he tells you excitedly. “Oh and Joel’s here, too.”

Your heart skips a beat at Tommy’s words. Joel is there, at the same place. The thought of seeing him again stirs a concoction of emotions within you — longing, uncertainty, and a subtle yearning for things to be okay. There’s an undeniable pull. You miss him.

As you take a moment to think of your answer, Kristen mouths, “Who’s that?”

“It’s my friend, and he’s inviting us to join him at a bar,” you explain to her.

Tommy’s voice perks up on the phone, “Come on, it’ll be a blast. The more, the merrier!”

You look at Kristen questioningly, and she gives you two thumbs up and a big smile.

You sigh and look up at the sky. There’s a big bird chasing a smaller one. “Okay, we’re in,” you say to Tommy, and his excited shouts in your ear make you giggle. He sends you the location and you immediately order an Uber for you and Kristen. You don’t have to wait for long.

Sitting in the car, your initial, albeit reluctant, excitement has turned into annoyance as the hands of the clock seem to move at an agonizingly slow pace. What was supposed to be a ten-minute journey has stretched into an interminable thirty minutes, courtesy of the unrelenting rush hour traffic.

The air inside the car feels stifling, even with the AC humming, and the incessant chatter about football between the driver and Kristen becomes an indistinct drone. Your lack of interest in the sport combines with the whirlwind in your head, making their conversation an incomprehensible blur.

As your stomach churns, a sense of queasiness settles over you, intensifying the already uncomfortable ride.

By the time you make it to the bar, you’re tired, cranky, and wish you had just gone home after work. You could be lying on your sofa right now, stuffing your face with pizza, watching Netflix, and testing your new vibrator before falling asleep in your soft bed. But no, you just had to be social, hm?

As you enter the crowded and lively bar, the buzz of upbeat chatter, clinking glasses, and the rhythmic thump of music surrounds you. Everyone’s loud and happy, and you’re just not in the right mood for it. Slowly making your way through the sea of faces with Kristen trailing behind, you spot Tommy seated in a cozy booth.

The mere sight of him puts you at ease — for about a second, that is.

Your eyes fall onto Joel and the woman who’s casually touching his shoulder, comfortably nestled against the plush cushioned seats. You’ve never seen her before, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist or even a sober brain to figure out who she is. What is she whispering into his ear now? He’s laughing. You can see his eye crinkles from where you’re standing.

The sight is like a punch to your gut.

For a moment, you’re frozen in place, and the urge to turn around and run away grips you. Unwelcome emotions and memories surge back, catching you off guard and leaving you breathless. Just as you contemplate an escape route, Tommy spots you from across the room, his face lighting up.

“Sweetheart,” he shouts, rising from his seat and waving enthusiastically. His excited shout draws the attention of everyone around him, including Joel. Your eyes lock, and for a brief moment, the world around you fades. The corners of his lips instinctively turn upwards as he looks at you, but after spotting your wrist brace and the pained look on your face, he furrows his brow.

What the hell happened to you?

In the blink of an eye, you flip a switch in your brain, put on the most radiant smile you can muster, straighten your shoulders and cross the room. Joel’s concerned eyes don’t leave you for a second.

“There she is,” Tommy says, genuine warmth in his voice as he leans in to plant a kiss on your cheek, followed by a tight, comforting hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too, Tommy,” you murmur, a sense of momentary relief washing over you in the wake of his presence.

He pulls away from the hug, extending his greeting to Kristen, before introducing you both to the beautiful brunette sitting next to his brother. Draping his arm around your shoulders, he tells you with a smile that, “This is Jan, an old school friend of mine. We actually didn’t plan this whole meeting with everyone, somehow we just all ended up here. Funny coincidence,” he chuckles and you strain the muscles around your mouth so hard it hurts.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jan,” you say, reaching out to shake her hand. She reciprocates your greeting and gives you a charming smile.

“And I don’t need to introduce you to this guy, huh?” Tommy grins, squeezing your shoulder.

Your gaze shifts to Joel, who’s caught in the limbo of whether to remain seated or stand up, so he ends up awkwardly half-standing, caged in the narrow space between the bench and table.

“Hi, Joel,” you say, your eyes lacking their usual vivacity—a detail not lost on him.

He settles back into his seat, audibly clearing his throat. “Hi, darlin’.”

He studies your face as you settle down beside Tommy. You look as beautiful and glowing as always, but the longer he looks, the more cracks in the carefully put up facade he can see. Your smile isn’t genuine, your eyes look a bit swollen—like you’ve been crying or not sleeping well—and your body language screams unease.

The others may not notice, but he does. Because he knows you.

Kristen takes a seat beside Jan, seamlessly weaving herself into the ongoing conversation with Joel. Her ability to navigate social dynamics with such ease leaves you marveling – how is she so good at this? Her charm extends, connecting the trio in animated small talk.

Your body eases into a semblance of relaxation as Tommy pulls you closer and presses a kiss on the crown of your head. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” he whispers into your hair, a tender reassurance that brings a sense of solace.

Sitting up straight, you return his smile, gratitude evident in your eyes. “Thanks to you.”

Tommy beams at you, momentarily lost in the exchange, before redirecting his attention to the group. “Are you guys ready for a first round of drinks?” he asks, the unison response from everyone echoing with enthusiasm, a collective “yes” that adds a burst of energy to the already vibrant atmosphere.

– – –

After three rounds of drinks (you very responsibly decided to change to coke after one mojito), burgers, nachos, sharing the epic tale of how you managed to hurt your hand doing yoga, Jan gossiping about the guy her adult daughter brought home last week, Tommy sharing hilarious stories from his and Joel’s workplace, and everyone seemingly having loads of fun, you let yourself relax a bit.

It’s nice witnessing Joel’s laughter and enjoyment. A warmth spreads through your heart at the sight, a flicker of happiness for him. Yet, the subtle discomfort lingers as Jan’s touch becomes a constant presence on his arm. Rationalizing it as a casual gesture during conversation and under the influence of drinks doesn’t fully erase the twinge of unease settling within you.

But you can handle it, you convince yourself.

Until you can’t.

You can’t handle it when Jan’s hand finds its way to Joel’s thigh and her lips brush the shell of his ear.

You glance at Joel, searching for a reaction, a flicker of discomfort perhaps, but his response is subtle. A shift in his seat, a movement so slight it could be mistaken for a casual adjustment, yet there’s a discernible change in his demeanor. It’s a momentary pause, a beat in the rhythm of the evening.

The weight of the scene bears down on you, and you feel a pang of vulnerability, a subtle ache in your chest. In that split second, a mix of emotions surges within you – a tinge of hurt, a brush of jealousy, and a sting of betrayal.

Emotions you haven’t felt in years. Emotions you have sworn to yourself you’d never feel again.

Why does it bother you so much? Is it because it reminds you of how you touched him, how you ran your hand further and further up his thigh when he was taking you home for the first time, teasing him until he couldn’t take it anymore, pulled his car over and fucked you in the driver’s seat? Has she done that with him? Is she as addictive as you are?

This close to a full-blown panic attack, you jump up from your seat to the surprise of everyone at your table. You make brief eye contact with Kristen, who shoots you a sympathetic look.

Excusing yourself, you navigate through the bustling crowd towards the restrooms, located downstairs and accessible via a staircase. There are three separate spacious restrooms, and you choose the first one. Inside, you immediately head to the sink, running your left hand under cold water. The sensation helps to calm you down.

Closing your eyes, you take deep breaths, reassuring yourself that it’s not a big deal, and that it’s exactly what it was always meant to be—probably even for the best.

Then, as you try to find composure, a knock on the door interrupts your thoughts.

“Occupied!” you yell in response to the knock, and then you hear Joel’s deep voice saying, “It’s me.”

Of course it is.

You sigh exasperatedly and shuffle to the door to let him in. Joel enters, swiftly locking the door behind him.

“There’s two other restrooms, you know,” you murmur as you walk back to the sink and divert your attention to your reflection in the mirror, concentrating on fixing your hair.

“Yeah, well, I specifically want the one with you in it,” he says with a little smirk, his eyes searching for yours in the mirror. As your gaze meets his, he’s taken aback by the lack of the usual sparkle that used to light up your eyes at the sight of him. The absence of that adoration he’s grown accustomed to leaves a void, and a tinge of concern creeps into his expression.

“Hey,” he says tentatively, his voice softer than before. “Are you okay, darlin’?”

You look at him, and the weariness in your eyes doesn’t escape his attention. There’s a distant quality to your gaze, and it sends a pang of worry through him. The connection he once felt in your eyes seems to have dimmed, and he can’t help but feel a sense of loss.

It’s the same expression you had when he last saw you. He hates it.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you respond, putting on your fake smile again, but the lack of conviction in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed.

Joel’s concern deepens as he steps closer, the teasing smirk replaced by genuine worry. “I’ve been trying to reach you, but you haven’t responded to any of my texts or calls.” He rubs the back of his neck and clears his throat, his brow furrowed. “I was worried something happened, and—he points at your injured hand—my feeling was right.” He tilts his head and studies your face. “What happened?”

You turn around and lean against the sink, holding your right arm with your left hand, your eyes revealing a complex mixture of emotions. “I told you already,” you say nonchalantly. “Getting drunk and trying to do elaborate yoga poses is a dumb idea if you’re as clumsy as me.”

Joel raises his eyebrows, not believing a word you’re saying. “That’s not all, is it?”

“What do you mean?” you say, feigning ignorance.

“You don’t seem like yourself and I’m…worried about you.” Joel’s concern etches lines on his forehead as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. His eyes, usually warm and comforting, narrow slightly as he studies your seemingly cheerful facade.

“But this is myself.” You point at your smiley face with your left hand and tilt your head. “You don’t like it?”

He shakes his head, a subtle sigh escaping him. “That’s not what I said. I just feel like something’s off.”

“Is it because I’m happy?”

“It’s because I don’t believe you’re happy. I know you too well, baby.”

You scoff, a defensive edge creeping into your voice. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that I’m happy? Do you want me to be miserable?”

“No, sweetheart. There’s nothing I want more than for you to be happy. But you’re lying to my face right now and I don’t appreciate that.”

You turn your head to avoid his gaze, your silence speaking volumes, your hand tightly gripping the flesh of your arm as if to contain the emotional turmoil threatening to spill over.

Stop it.

“Darlin’,” Joel says gently, closing the physical gap between you two, and reaching out to place his warm palms on your shoulders. “Look at me.”

A shiver runs down your spine and tiny goosebumps instantly form on your skin. You’ve missed his touch more than you care to admit — to yourself or to him. His touch is tender, a plea for connection, but you hesitate. Reluctantly, you meet his gaze, revealing the deep sadness you tried to conceal.

What happened to you? Whatever it was, it breaks his heart that he wasn’t there to protect you.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asks softly.

“Not everything’s about you, Joel.”

“I know that. I just…wish you would let me know what’s going on.” His touch becomes a subconscious reassurance as he absentmindedly rubs your arms, as if trying to make sure you’re really there in front of him.

“Why do I owe you that? Why do I owe you every shitty detail of my life while I know virtually nothing about you?” you say a little sharper than intended.

Joel takes a deep breath. “You don’t owe me anything. I just thought–” he pauses, searching your eyes. “I miss seeing that spark in your eyes when you look at me,” he admits, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. “I never fully realized how much it meant to me until now.”

You take a moment to process his words and his touch as frustration bubbles up inside you. Your heart aches.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what? Caring about you?”

“Ruining the mood.” You shake your head, swallowing what you actually want to say, any traces of happiness erased from your face. “If you’re trying to make me feel bad, it’s starting to work.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to understand what’s happened since the last time I saw you.” He tilts his head and studies your face, genuine concern in his eyes.

All you can see, though, is disappointment. He’s disappointed in you, you can sense it. And how could he not be? You’re a liability, a mess. Looks like he’s finally seeing you for who you are, and that’s why he replaced you.

“And now’s the best time to do that?” you scoff, averting your gaze and looking around.

“What am I supposed to do when you don’t respond to me for days on end and this is my only chance of talking to you?”

You look back into his eyes. “How about leaving it alone?”

“I can’t do that. Not when it comes to you,” he says, shaking his head and moving closer, his cologne filling your senses like a familiar embrace. His hands trace the contours of your neck, a gentle and deliberate touch that ignites a cascade of sensations. His thumbs brush your cheekbones with a tenderness that speaks of longing, his gaze dropping to your lips before finding your eyes again.

In that charged moment, the air between you thickens with unspoken desires before you both succumb to the magnetic pull drawing you together. Your heartbeat quickens, matching the rhythm of anticipation. Without breaking eye contact, he closes the remaining distance, his lips meeting yours in a soft yet passionate kiss. The familiar sensation of his lips on yours is both electric and comforting, and you allow yourself to get lost in it for a bit.

As he eases away, his fingers trail lightly down your neck and arms, leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. There’s a soft smile on his lips as he breaks the silence.

“I mean it when I say I care about you and want the best for you, darlin’,” he murmurs. “And you don’t have to tell me any details about what happened if you’re not ready yet, but I need to know what made you not want to call me. We’ve been there for each other in difficult situations before, so I just really don’t get it.”

You raise a skeptical eyebrow, frustration and anger intertwining with the lingering memory of his lips on yours.

“Why in the world would I ever call you while you’re on a date?” you say quietly, a steely edge in your voice, no trace of a smile to be found on your lips.

Oh. So it did bother you.

Joel’s expression shifts from concern to a momentary realization, the lines on his forehead deepening. “I would always drop everything to be there for you. No matter where I am or what I’m doing.”

You laugh wryly. “Joel. Seriously. Are you really trying to tell me you were oh so worried about me while you were fucking someone else? And that you’re worried now even though she’s currently upstairs, desperately waiting for you to take her home? Come on, don’t insult my intelligence.”

He stares at you in utter disbelief and takes a step back, as if physically recoiling from the weight of your words. “That’s not what–”

“Look, Joel,” you push yourself off the sink, straighten up, and walk past him towards the door. “It doesn’t matter. You can fuck or date whoever you like. Jan seems nice and like a good match, so I’m very happy for you.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not doing any of that. You misunders–”

You turn around sharply to look at him. “I misunderstood the woman who’s had her hands all over you the whole evening?”

“It’s not like that,” he insists, trying to get through to you. “She’s drunk as hell and probably doesn’t even realize what she’s doing. And I’m not interested anyway.”

“Sure. That’s why she’s here right now.”

“I had nothing to do with that. Tommy invited her without telling me,” he says, running his fingers through his hair as his stress is mounting. “Darlin’, please. This isn’t even about her; it’s about you and me. And maybe it’s time to stop pretending everything’s okay when it’s clearly not.”

You turn your head, deliberately avoiding the intensity of his gaze as the weight of his words settles in. His plea sends palpable waves of discomfort through your already wounded emotions, causing your chest to tighten further. Why is he doing this? Is this fun for him?

“So you’d rather keep pretending everything’s fine?” he presses, his tone a mix of concern and urgency, the edges of his patience beginning to fray.

Okay, now you’ve had it.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Joel. What do you want from me?” you hiss at him, frustration dripping from your words.

Joel is momentarily taken aback, but his own agitation prevents him from fully grasping your distress. A deep sigh escapes him as he props one hand on his hip, rubbing his eyes wearily with the other.

“Since when does it matter what I want?” he murmurs.

Ouch.

That hurt.

Your face falls, and you feel like he just slapped you across the face. The sting of his words cuts deep, causing tears to well up in your eyes.

Joel’s eyes widen in shock when he sees the look on your face. “Shit, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” he stammers, realizing the impact of his words a moment too late. “I’m sorry, baby, I–” his voice trembles with regret, desperate to undo the damage he’s done.

“Is that how you really feel? That I don’t care about what you want?” you ask, your voice shaky.

“No, I shouldn’t have said that, I’m so–”

“But that’s how you feel? Deep down?”

Why are you acting so surprised? Were you really naive enough to believe him when he said he was happy with you? God, you’re dumb.

“Oh, sweetheart…” he reaches out to wipe away the tears that are making their way down your cheeks, but you push his hand away.

“I came here for you, Joel,” you blurt out, your raised voice startling him. “And I–I spent the last three hours making conversation with everyone, including the woman you’re fucking, because I care about you and want you to be happy, even though my hand is killing me and I’m so drained I have to force my eyes to stay open.”

You express yourself with animated hand gestures as you talk through your tears, your voice breaking.

“I had a horrible weekend and needed some time to recover, but I was so fucking happy to see you tonight because I’ve missed you and I’ve–I’ve never hidden how much I like spending time with you. Why is that not enough? What more do you want from me?”

Your big, watery eyes pierce Joel’s, and the fact that he’s the reason for your tears pierces his heart.

“Darlin’, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t right what I said.”

He takes a step closer to you, the desperation in his eyes matching the pain in yours, intending to pull you into a comforting hug to calm you—and himself—down. However, you immediately take a step back, creating a physical distance between you two.

“Do you want me to cry ‘cause seeing you with another woman breaks my heart? Is that it?”

Joel stares at you incredulously, your accusing tone making him wince. “No, of course no–”

Your heart is racing, and you can feel the tightness in your chest growing with every second you’re looking into Joel’s eyes. Eyes that—until now—have always made you feel so calm, so safe, so…loved. Your hands tremble slightly, and a lump forms in your throat, making it difficult to speak.

“Do you want me to make a scene in front of everyone ‘cause it physically pains me to think you’re touching her the same way you touch me?”

Joel opens his mouth to say something, a fleeting impulse to express himself and try to console you, but he catches himself, realizing that uttering those words might inflict more damage than repair right now.

“Do you want me to beg you not to leave me ‘cause I can’t even imagine my life without you anymore? Is that what you want?”

“Sweetheart...” He takes a step towards you, his eyes pleading, but you cut him off.

“No, I’m fucking sick of this,” your words spill out between sobs as tears stream down your face. “It’s always the same. I’m good enough only as long as I act the way you want it, and the minute you get bored or realize I’m not as perfect as you imagined, you replace me with someone better. Everyone always fucking leaves and I’m so sick of it.”

“Darlin’, I swear that’s not what’s happening,” Joel implores, his whole body so tense and hot he’s sweating through his shirt. “I’m not leaving and I really didn’t mean to hurt you.”

You sigh deeply, grab a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall, blow your nose, and dry your tears.

“I knew this was gonna happen and I still let myself believe I could be enough for once,” you murmur more to yourself than him, your head pounding painfully.

Serves you right for having feelings.

Joel says your name gently, trying his best not to spook you. His words hang in the air like a lifeline, a desperate attempt to mend what is broken.

“You are enough. You’ve always been enough. I’m so sorry for making you feel otherwise.”

Your head is spinning, emotions tumultuous and unyielding. In dire need of fresh air and distance from Joel, you stagger towards the door. His voice follows you, pleading.

“Sweetheart, I promise I’m not going to leave you. And I’m so incredibly sorry for upsetting you, I just–” he exhales deeply and clears his throat. “I wanted you to be honest with me about your feelings, but this wasn’t the way to go about it. I’m sorry.”

The door swings open, and you turn around, the forced smile from before back on your lips.

“Well, congratulations, Joel,” you say, your tone laced with a mix of bitterness and anguish. “You got what you wanted. I hope you’re fucking happy.”

The door slams shut behind you, leaving Joel stunned, alone with the haunting echoes of shattered trust and unspoken pain, the distant thump of music mirroring the beating of his remorseful heart.

As you make your way back upstairs, the residual heat of the argument lingers on your skin. Taking a deep breath, you enter the lively space once more. Tommy, who’s standing at the bar, notices you, concern etched across his face.

“Hey, is everything okay, honey?” he asks, his voice soft with genuine worry.

You manage a tight smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. My hand’s just hurting really bad now and the meds make me dizzy, so I’ll head home.”

He furrows his brow. “Joel’s my designated driver, but I can take a cab, so he can drive you home.” He looks around, searching the bar for his brother. “Where is he anyway?”

“There’s a huge line in front of the restrooms, he’s probably still waiting. And it’s okay, Tommy, really.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, seeking solace, and bury your face in the crook of his neck. He responds by pulling you into a warm and reassuring embrace, a gesture that speaks volumes without the need for words. Luckily, he’s drunk enough not to smell his brother on you.

“I missed you,” you murmur, your eyes closed.

Tommy strokes the back of your head and chuckles. “I missed you, too, sweetheart.”

He pulls away far enough to look into your eyes, giving you the brightest smile. “Tell you what. You come over for dinner on Friday — no ifs, ands, or buts. Maria’s been wanting to see you, and we just finished our patio, so it’s perfect.”

You pinch his cheek and shake your head at him. “It’s not fair that you’re this charming, you know? How could I ever say no?”

“Don’t say no, then,” he says playfully, a hint of worry still in his eyes.

You sigh exaggeratedly. “Okay, okay, I won’t.”

“Attagirl. And you’re sure you don’t want Joel to drive you?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I always find my way home somehow.” You plant a kiss on Tommy’s cheek, and he finally agrees to release you from his embrace after securing a pinky promise that you ‘a hundred percent won’t flake out’.

You walk over to Kristen and Jan, who are still sitting at your table, engrossed in an animated conversation. Observing them for a moment, you find yourself captivated by Jan’s effortless charisma. She’s a real sunshine — and unlike you, she doesn’t have to fake it. Had you met her under different circumstances, you might have liked her.

Kristen’s eyes meet yours, and her brow furrows slightly, registering the expression on your face for a fleeting moment. Swiftly, you put on a polite smile and step closer, masking the momentary vulnerability with practiced ease.

“Ladies,” you say, a touch of self-deprecating humor in your tone, “I know I’m lame, but I’m actually going home already. Just wanted to say goodbye.”

Jan answers first, surprising you with a warm smile. “Oh, that’s not lame at all! You’re just smarter than us.”

You hold up your injured hand and deadpan, “Yeah, I’m a real genius, aren’t I?”

Jan and Kristen giggle, and you join in, sharing a brief moment of camaraderie. You’re so good at this. Almost believable.

As you look for your bag on the bench, contemplating the logistics of your departure, Kristen catches your eye and winks at you.

“I’ll come with you,” she says, giving you a reassuring look. “Our boss is gonna have a fit if I fall asleep at my desk again, so…I guess this is what being a responsible adult is,” she sighs. She hands you your bag, downs the rest of her drink, and the two of you say goodbye to Jan, who’s now getting up to search for the Miller brothers.

Kristen takes you by the hand, gently leading you outside. The cool breeze brushes against your face as the sun starts its descent, offering a much-needed breath of fresh air. Settling down down on the curb together, you find a comfortable spot, trying your best not to inadvertently flash someone as you adjust your dress.

“I’ll call us an Uber,” Kristen says, her tone comforting. You appreciate the warmth of her presence as you wait for the ride, the fading sunlight casting a soft glow on both of you.

“Done.” She wraps her arm around you, providing a supportive shoulder for you to lean on. The two of you sit in silence, the ambient noise of traffic and distant chatter from the bar filling the air, serving as a backdrop to the racing thoughts in your mind. Eventually, Kristen succumbs to her curiosity.

“So…” she starts, her voice carefully navigating the sensitive terrain. “That’s him?”

You chuckle faintly. “Yup. That’s him.”

“Hmm, I get it now. He’s hot as fuck,” she says, happy that she can make you laugh. “Do you think he’d be up for a threesome?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’d be up for it. I’m just not so sure about his heart being able to take it. Or his back. Or his knees.”

Kristen giggles and then looks at you for a moment, fascinated by this evening’s revelations. “It’s so interesting, I had no idea you were into older guys.”

“I, uh, didn’t know either before I met him.”

“I see,” she nods, a thoughtful expression on her face. Another minute of shared silence passes before she decides to just come out and ask you the one burning question on her mind.

“Do you love him?”

You don’t need a second to think about your answer.

– – –

Thank you for reading!! 🤍

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jq37 · 3 months

Text

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 4 Shrimp and Strudel

Welcome back to the Report Card where we’re gonna waste no time with just getting into it as the last ep ended on a big cliffhanger.

We pick up where we left off–Kristen talking to Cass who is petting Kalina–currently in her cat form and claiming that she’s not bad anymore (with a verbal “meow” which is so unsettling/funny). Kristen isn’t buying it but it’s not a crazy claim. If Cass is bad, she should be bad and if Cass is good, likewise.

Good or bad, she is still very eyes on the prize and immediately starts grilling Kristen on what her plans are as Cass’s sole cleric–a fair question considering she’s all that stands between Cass (and Kalina by extension) and oblivion. Cass tries to keep the peace between her familiar and her cleric and even gives Kristen an out: she’s gotten invitations to quit being a god and be an archfey of the Autumn Court instead. But Kristen doesn’t seem to want to take it. She says she does believe in Cass but she’s kind of hard to evangelize for because her whole deal is a hard pill to swallow even if it’s more true and deeper than the certainty other religions provide. Kalina’s eyes narrow and she says that Kristen’s a shitty saleswoman.

Kalina instead wants to go with a pitch of, “Hey? Do you wanna wield sick ass night magic and crush your enemies?” Which Kristen thinks is kind of a betrayal of Cass’ whole ethos. Kalina thinks they can quibble over details once Cass has more than TWO followers (shoutout Craig) and Cass on one level gets where Kristen is coming from but on a deeper level REALLY doesn’t wanna die. She says that their plans aren’t actually conflicting and they can work on both of them! She asks Kristen when she has the bandwidth to talk about this and Kristen is like, right now! All she cares about is Cass…and her campaign. Kalina is clearly so over this and reminds Cass that though they can’t actually go to the material plane, there are places they can talk to mortals outside of the material plane like the Synod of Spyre (wizard hub where they incidentally just put in a new mall!). Wizards like magic and mystery and stars, right? Cass is all about all of those things! It’s an untapped market!

A plan is set for them to head to the mall over the weekend and Kristen sincerely apologizes for dropping the ball and hurting Cass’s feelings. Cass tells her that she doesn’t need to be sorry, that she’s there for her when things are uncertain, and that she believes in her. She kisses Kristen on the forehead and sends her back to school.

At lunch, Adaine tries to call Aelwyn but gets her answering machine. Aelwyn texts to ask what’s up (she’s in class “looking after bozos”) and Adaine says she’ll call her later. She texts an “I love you” and then deletes it, causing a torrent of divination spells to come in as Aelwyn tries to figure out what the deleted message was.

Before Fabian heads to lunch, he has a banking interlude with his banker at KVX (Alston) who tells him his trust is worth 20 million gold and he gets an allowance of 5k gold a month. Rich as he is, Fabian is staggered by the amount of money and asks if there’s a way to cash it all out now. Alston says that due to a clause left by his dad (meant to encourage him to forge his own path), he can cash out 2 million but then the rest would go to his various nemeses (with a small cut to the bank). They apparently have a whole department just for tracking the nemeses of their clients. Chungledown Bim is listed as one of Fabian’s nemeses so he immediately shuts down talk of cashing out. Chungledown Bim with 18 million gold? Terrifying. Alston offers Fabian a free trial of Nemesis Alert which lets you know if anyone on your planet has sworn vengeance on you but Fabian declines, having the foresight to know that he’ll forget to cancel.

Once everyone is at lunch, Riz uses the Message cantrip to tell everyone that Kipperlily Copperkettle (KP) was spying on them and overheard them talking about Kristen’s god dying. They look around to check if she’s spying on them right down and don’t see her but, on a Nat 20, Fabian senses…something. He immediately signs up for that free trial of nemesis alert and is told that no one has sworn vengeance on him in the last 30 days (but what about before that Alston???? What about before 30 days ago?????). Adaine turns on her wizard feature that lets her see invisibility and walks around the cafeteria, but doesn’t clock anyone.

Gorthalax shows up to hype up the boys for Bloodrush tryouts later in the day and Fabian asks about the Rat Grinders. Gorthalax says that their Barbarian (Mary Ann) is trying out later and offers to tell them where the name comes from. It’s just what we speculated last week. These posers are literally level grinding! They’re farming XP by going to the woods just outside of school (Where the week 2 freshman go to practice) and killing rats, spiders, and twig gremlins. They made it to Junior Year by just killing rattatas on route 1! Apparently, they do this for 3 hours at the end of every day and 9 hours every weekend. Riz is HISSING with rage at how against the spirit of the rules this is. But here’s the thing. Grinding low level monsters to get this far is very uncool. But the focus it takes? Kind of impressive. And that thought strikes Riz through the rage.

After lunch, Gorgug goes to talk to Henry Hopclap (gnomish Artificer teacher with the same last name as the Rat Grinder bard btw). He sees an equation on the board and tries to have a Good Will Hunting moment but ends up just trying to solve for Henry’s email address and phone number. Minor mathematical blunder aside, Henry tells Gorgug that he actually approved his MCAT, but Porter had the last word. He tells Gorgug that he doesn’t actually have to be an Artificer in a school sanctioned capacity just because he’s passionate about it. He can just do it on his own time. But Gorgug is determined so Henry tells him that there’s technically another way: he can take three years of Artificing at the same time and withdraw from Barbarian classes.

I took psychic damage from hearing that and I took even more when Gorgug decided to do that AND take Barb classes (which Henry says that he can do but he has to run that by Porter).

Though Henry is way more supportive than Porter, he still tells Gorgug that this is gonna be an uphill battle. Junior Year artificing is already very hard and there’s never been a Barb/Art multiclass at Aguefort before. Like Porter, he says that he doesn’t really see how the passion you need to be a good Barbarian and the dispassionate focus you need to be a good Artificer mesh together, but he’s rooting for him. The other students filter in and, based on how well equipped they are, it seems like our boy has a lot of catching up to do.

Meanwhile, Fabian gets the other half of his MCAT paperwork signed off by his Fighting teacher (Corsisca Jones who looks a LOT like Aabria who played her younger sister Antiope Jones in The Seven) with barely any conversation or pushback about it. Must be nice!

During a break period, the Bad Kids are hanging out on the quad. Riz and Kristen work together on Kristen’s paperwork and his applications for as many clubs as possible while they both down coffee. Fig is trying to see if she can figure out where in time the fossils Ayda sent her are from so she can send a message but she’s beaten to punch when a weary knight from “Order of the Sacred Scroll” shows up with a message his order has protected for 1500 years. One that he killed his brother for peeking at. One that he’s devoted his life to. Fig opens it up and it’s literally just a “Love you, Miss you,” postcard from Ayda.

Porter (who we learn loves Fig despite the fact and honestly largely because of the fact that she hates him and he appreciates a good rage) shows up and Gorgug goes to tell him that he’s going to triple down on his classes. His friends say that he’s really smart and he can handle it. Porter says that he’ll let Gorgug do it if one of his friends audits the class with him to help him and Fig happily agrees.

After school, Aelwyn calls Adaine and we learn exactly what kind of teacher Aelwyn is as she says that she got sent to the principal’s office for making some of her students cry. Thank you for letting her stay in Elmville, Brennan. Anyway, Adaine rattles off the list of insanely expensive things she needs for class and Aelwyn suggests some solutions: (1) They can find and kill their mom in order to inherit, (2) they can sell drugs, (3) they can sell weapons, (4) Adaine can maybe…get a job? Adaine doesn’t know how to get a job and asks Aelwyn how she got hers. Apparently, she blackmailed the principal. With what, asks Adaine. Photographs Aelwyn says with a coy smile and Adaine requests that Aelwyn not enlighten her any further. Adaine laments the fact that she had to give up all her dragon madness gold and then signs off with a verbal “I love you” that she tries to take back. Aelwyn pounces on it like one of her five cats. “I heard you say it!” she says with a villainous laugh. “I win. You've exposed yourself to me.” She hangs up and, once again, Brennan, thank you.

We cut to Bloodrush tryouts where Fabian gives an honestly really good speech to the team and prospective recruits (tres Jammer). Riz is also at tryouts because, remember, he’s trying out for literally everything. We see a drow student (Hexblade Warlock Max Durden) give a really good showing and Riz give a not so great performance. Then, Mary Ann Skuttle shows up–the Barbarian of the Rat Grinders who’s this tiny kobold girl with aesthetic, kawaii plushies on her backpack. None of that energy is on her face though and she seems very unenthused to be there, answering all questions with short, monotone answers. On the field though? She’s a monster. She absolutely bodies Gorgug, sending him flying across in the field in a way that no one has before (Brennan says that he needed to beat a 33). And she didn’t even get a running start! Gorthalax is thrilled to get her on the team so that they can finally beat their rivals (the Hellions). Riz uses one of his gadgets to cast detect magic and sees that she was buffed with magic (but that’s not illegal in Bloodrush). Gorthalax breaks the news to him that he didn’t make the team and he just runs to the next club on his list. Gotta pad that resume!

After school, Kristen meets up with Bucky who has a lot of the same energy she had on her first day. He’s a Helioic Paladin as we suspected and he’s been telling people they’re going to hell. Kristen doesn’t *love* that but she does tell Bucky to campaign for KP while he’s proselytizing to try to poison the waters a bit. Bucky says that he really misses her and that he hasn’t told their parents about all the gold she sent. Kristen tries to convince him that maybe the concept of hell they grew up with isn’t real, but that’s hard to argue when two separate devils (Fig and Gorthalax) are literally in the room with them. Bucky recognizes the Rat Grinders symbol on the pin Kristen gives him and says the new Helioic cleric from Highcourt (who their parents love) has one of those. We don’t get any more info from him though because Kristen drops an F bomb in front of him and he runs away like a scared puppy.

Fabian drops some hints that he’s lonely in his big empty house so the gang heads to Seacaster Manor for a study party. They Doordash some pad thai and Adaine gets a text from Aelwyn which has a link to job listings at the Synod mall. On a pretty low Investigation check (6) she finds an ad for a place called Oodles of Strudel that pays 2 silver a day and doesn’t require a resume, just an interview.

A lot happens during this study party so I’m gonna go through it rapid fire:

Kristen tells everyone that Kalina is back.

Riz learns (as a residual part of his 30 Investigation roll from last ep) that party comp is announced at the end of their first day and if it changes (ie: someone leaves the party or dies) everyone else goes pass/fail which excludes them from extra credit which would exclude them from scholarships and such. So everyone has to stick together and not die!

Adaine goes to the Synod mall and interviews with a dude named Biff at Oodles of Strudel (where they pump strudel in from a strudel dimension because sure). She gets the job! Though idk if that’s worth celebrating because it’s 8 hour shifts and she has to work the night shift because of school.

Fabian texts Mazey and determines that if he’s going to be a maximum legend like he wants, he has to host a party on the first weekend back and he’s committed.

Fig, shockingly, goes to class AGAIN. It must have been cut from last episode but she learned that warlock classes meet at night and decided to check them out. The teacher is a hot vampire lady with a celestial paramour patron so Fig is like, all in right away. Not only that, she rolls a Nat 20 to catch up and it turns out that, as we already know, when she’s dialed in, she’s really good at this stuff! Plus, warlock is a charisma class and she has charisma for days. With warlocks it seems like it’s all about paperwork but really it’s about relationships, bargains, and exchange. As Zara tells Fig after class is over, these are things that everyone deals with every day, the power is just more potent when the bargains are struck consciously. Zara says she’ll approve her MCAT if she wants and Fig, eager to avoid work on her Sophomore album and genuinely taken by the class, agrees.

Ragh shows up at the manor and Adaine asks how Tracker is doing. He says she’s doing great and the four months of night were honestly great for her whole situation as cleric of the moon goddess. Kristen GRILLS his ass about the “bitch on her lap” on her socials and Ragh (who was supposed to let Tracker break this news but cracks under Kristen’s manic energy) says it’s her new girlfriend, elven princess Naradriel–Nara for short (another girl with a dog name Kristen laments as though her first girlfriend isn’t named TRACKER). Ragh says Nara has been trying to have Tracker and her go Facebook official for a while and that photo she saw was her compromise. Kristen gives Rgh the go-ahead to tell Tracker she can reach out. Ragh says she’s cooler than Nara and he’s rooting for her.

And that’s about it! The next week is hella busy for the whole crew. School crashes down on them like a tidal wave. There’s their actual classes, extracurriculars, and the campaign which everyone is super invested in. They recruit Torek Railgrinder (skater dwarf in the LGBT club and Drama club) to build a ramp off Fabain’s roof so Kristen can ride it off his roof into the pool which he will have filled with tartar sauce because it’s going to be the Ultimate Shrimp Party obviously. The party planning is also in full swing and EVERYONE is invited. That includes freshmen, Hudol kids, even cool middle schoolers. Ragh is buying them beer. The idea is that they can two birds this and make Fabian a Maximum Legend and Kristen super cool at the same time so people will vote for her.

(Also, this doesn’t matter to the plot but Kristen gives a campaign speech at a steel mill for some reason–like a steel mill with adult workers–where Kristen is injured by a buzzsaw and Fig is once again questioned by Agent Clark (who she throws off the scent by saying Wanda left for the Red Waste). Not plot relevant but I HAD to mention it for the sake of posterity.)

But we quickly see the seams start to show. Fabian is forced to skip Bloodrush practice so he can set up the party. Adaine gets the new work schedule and sees that she has to work during the party. She texts Fabian that she has to work but she’ll show up later and doesn’t get a response back. Then she texts everyone else to ask if Fabian is mad at her.

We follow Adaine to work where she’s met by none other than Kalina (in tabaxi form) who is there handing out pamphlets with Cassandra. She asks if Kristen is on her way and Adaine doesn’t know what she’s talking about. As far as she knows, Kristen can’t even get to the Synod without her help. Kalina asks if she can go grab her but Adaine says she’s at work and she can’t just leave.

Back at the Manor, Kristen gets a brain ping from Cass who asks Kristen if she’ll be there soon. Kristen is full deer in headlights–she didn’t realize that she was supposed to be helping with that. She thought she was Team Material Plane and they were Team Synod. (And, in fairness to her, in this instance I understand how she could have thought that if the only conversation they had about this was the one that we saw but wild that they wouldn’t check in day before when Cass can talk in her mind) She quickly tries to finesse the situation and claims that with such a big crowd gathered, she’ll be able to spread the word to tons of people. Cass is briefly excited until she sees through Kristen’s eyes that her supposed recruitment drive is actually an Ultimate Shrimp Party.

Back at the mall, Adaine watches red light burst through Cass’s chest as she cries out in pain and collapses to the ground. At Kalina’s behest, Adaine texts Kristen to get her ass to the mall right away. The non-Adaine Bad Kids try to make a plan to save the party–maybe Fig can do the shrimp jump disguised as Kristen–but the situation at the mall gets more dire. Cassandra, still in agony, yells, "This isn't fair!" She bleeds indigo and the light from her chest sails out and hits a nearby wizard. That wizard grows crazed and buff and kills his friend by smashing his skull open with his quarterstaff. Kalina is horrified. Adaine is horrified. The other mall patrons are horrified–the ones who aren’t getting possessed at least. Cass is on all fours, growing larger, and there are three more of those red light things coming out of her.

Adaine, who now has a special Synod key as an employee, opens a portal so her friends can join her. Everyone (including a kind of reluctant Fabian) joins right as the portal Adaine closes and that’s it for the ep! Next week, showdown at the Synod!

Honor Roll

Kalina for Having Cassandra’s Back

I never thought I’d give this to her but who else is looking out for Cass like Kalina right now? Nobody. I felt so bad for her handing out pamphlets at the mall. I’ve had to do that and it’s NOT fun. I’m glad she has someone sticking up for her and diligently looking out for her interests, even though it’s someone who I referred to as “the bitch” last week, lol.

(Honorable mention to Fig for honestly being a great student. Way to go girl, you might just graduate yet.)

Detention

Aelwyn for Blackmailing the Middle School Principal with Photographs To Get A Job

This is entirely affectionate. Also, unlike Adaine, I’m curious about what the level of blackmail is that allows you to strongarm your way into a job but still subjects you to being reprimanded by the person you’re blackmailing.

((Dis)honorable to Fabian for his rich boy shenanigans which I touch on below.)

Random Thoughts

“Meat mama”

Insane that KVX Bank still exists and they literally just changed their logo from red to blue.

Was anyone else getting Berries and Cream vibes from the new lunch lad? (if you know, you know)

Fig got hurt yet again in this episode and stuck her hand in construction putty. Last episode I called out that both mishaps so far had involved construction equipment but now we’re officially out of two nickels territory and into rule of threes. Brennan, what are you playing at?

She also got food on herself twice (creamed corn and pad thai) and mimed eating it both times. Emilyyyyyyy grossssssss.

Fabian got the confirmation that no one has declared him as a nemesis for the past 30 days but I would have asked for a full list. We know they have one because CDB is from like a year ago at least.

I thought it was odd that Henry said that what was needed for artificing was “dispassionate focus” when I feel like a lot of people I know who tinker irl are actually intensely passionate about what they do.

As a side note, Henry said that Porter couldn’t stop Gorgug from tripling down while taking Barb classes–just that he wanted Gorgug to tell him as a professional courtesy. So I’m not sure why Porter was able to attach a condition to Gorgug’s being there.

Porter’s, “God this sucks” when Gorgug started talking about his feelings was extremely unprofesh but objectively funny.

Actually, roundup of all the funniest parts of this episode:

1)The entire Adaine and Aelwyn conversation but especially (1) The bit about Fig being attached to Ayda’s feathers, (2) Photographs :), and (3) Jawbone no-selling her sinister flirting followed by her immediately moving out.

2)Bloodbath and Beyond

3)Adaine not wanting to use a ladle at her job because of the Trauma (™) from Freshman Year (RIP Doreen).

4)Fabian nodding knowingly when Adaine talks about killing her dad like it’s a normal, relatable experience.

5)“What's the drinking age in Solace, if you're a pirate?”/“You guys have murdered so many people.”

6)“You find Siobhan Thompson.”

Don’t know if this matters but both the Artificing teacher and the Warlock teacher are new hires. Henry is said to be fresh out of college and Zara took over because the last guy (Evan Freem) failed his warlock pact and was devoured. I suspect out of game it’s just so Brennan can bring in interesting new NPCs that fit the plot for this season and he had to retcon whatever names he gave them for the faculty in Freshman Year. Not sure if there’s an in-game angle though.

Brennan asks Fig where she thinks she gets her warlock powers from and she says, “I think it's from my dad or my bloodline or my legacy” That answer isn’t weird but I dunno the fact that he asked about a thing that I thought was already established struck me as off so it’s going on the list of notes.

I loved Fig being rewarded for sneaking her name onto the class list by Zara who rightfully says that when it comes to warlocks, it’s all about what’s on the page. Brennan really invented a teacher to force Fig/Emily to get invested in class.

Kristen trying to talk Bucky out of being scared of hell is another instance of the metaphor of Kristen’s arc brushing up against the reality of their world because some of y’all have *literally* been to hell. This isn’t real life where religion is all nebulous and personal. Hell is a place you can just go and, again, several of you HAVE BEEN. It’s not a silly thing for him to be scared of.

Lol at Adaine who drank half a beer one time getting Bucky starry eyed by her Bad Kid exploits (said exploits being drinking that half a beer).

So the new Helioic Cleric. What’s his deal? Have we been to Highcourt before? I don’t think so but it’s been mentioned as the place that the Applebees want to send their kids for school so they don’t turn out heathens so maybe it’s a bit theocratic or traditional? Also, did the Rat Grinders lose their OG cleric or did they just never have one seeing as they’re just fighting weenie monsters? Why did they suddenly decide to pick up a cleric? To round out their party comp or because they know they’ll be needing one soon? How did they convince this guy to join up with them first day? I wish Kristen had gotten more info but I’m excited to see where this is going.

I wanna get your votes in now. Are the Rat Grinders evil or do their vibes just suck? Because it really could go either way. I really can’t wait to see what the rest of them are like and how they contrast their corresponding BK members.

Sidenote: So far, every time we’ve met a Rat Grinder they’ve been alone. As opposed to the Bad Kids who hang out as much as possible. I wonder if we’re just never catching them together or if they literally don’t hang out when they don’t have to.

The Hangman is so adorable when he’s like, “I don’t wanna do a shrimp jump but if you ask I will because I love you :(“ Big sad puppy energy. Be nicer to your bike Fabian!

Also, I said this in an ask earlier but despite the fact that Adaien’s financial situation isn’t Fabian’s problem–even if he’s 18 he’s still a child–he can’t be mad at her for not going to his party from his pirate ship mansion with his 5000 gold a month allowance. Come on now. The girl is filtering gold flakes from discounted liquor.

I didn’t mention it in the recap proper because school is also kicking my ass right now but we learn in this episode that the Kristen/Tracker breakup was amicable, followed by 3 months of radio silence, followed by WHO IS THAT BITCH ON HER LAP RAGH??? Curious to know what Nara’s vibe is. I want her to be chill but the little disagreement over whether to be public gives me pause. Not that that’s a relationship ender of course, but I’m wondering if it’s meant to hint at further discord or if Tracker just didn't want Kristen to find out like that or something else innocuous.

Nothing was outright stated but for like a second I felt like I caught a vibe that Ragh maybe felt bad about just being used to buy beer? But I could have imagined it.

I really love Kalina being in this episode to just really cut to the heart of the matter re: things involving Cass. Like it’s hard to use humor to deflect when there’s a steely eyed cat there who will just very evenly say exactly what the situation is. I also really love that Kalina can just be casually encountered at the mall. I cannot imagine being Adaine and getting jump scared by that.

(Sidenote: I wonder what Adaine’s other job options were if she didn’t go for the first one she found or if she’d rolled better.)

I know these are high schoolers, full children, but the idea that you would even be thinking about the shrimp party when your friend’s goddess is going supernova and your other friend is already on sight and in danger is WILD to me. People are dying Kim.

I also already said this in another post but my best guess about what’s happening to Cass is that she’s being affected by Kristen’s whole deal–Kristen has been obsessed with getting jacked, hence the buff wizards. It could be something totally different of course but that’s the best connection I can make with the info we currently have.

I understand why this can’t happen mechanically but it seems pretty low commitment to be a follower of Cass and I don’t think she’d be opposed to giving the Bad Kids a level of cleric for their trouble. Like, literally Adaine calling for a medic for Cass is as much if not more than we’ve seen Kristen for her so far this season. Why not help Cass not die and pick up some free healing spells in the process? Like they don’t even need to become clerics, just give them one low level healing spell like magic initiate for the cleric class. It’s not like any of the Bad Kids seem overly religious/like there’s another god they’re loyal to that would prevent them from doing this. Idk man, if I was in this position Cass would just have one more follower is what I’m saying.

#Dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #spoilers #the report card #hit the character limit AGAIN lol #this is the last thing I wanted to say: Cass is so nice guys. I hope she’s OK :(

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lizsos · 14 days

Text

Chapter 6

Bad Girl

TW!: chapter contains extreme violence, disturbing, blood , gore , death , not real . (MDNI) .

(Enemies to lovers)

(Yandere bada)

You've been warned....

"Of course! What do you want?" Nana questions , fear laced in her voice . Bada chuckles. "Isn't it obvious? I want Y/n to work for me from now on "

"What?!" She stands and slams her hands on her desk "she works for me! There's no way in hell I'll hand her over to you just like that!" She yells. Fear no longer in her voice .

"There's no need to yell . Now sit back down " Badas voice deepens . She sits back down in fear knowing she'll be next to have a bullet go through her head if she didn't control herself.

"Listen you old hag...." Nana glares at Bada . "This bitch!" She angrily through. "I'll make this short and simple . Y/n works for me , I'll give you anything you wish for. Money....drugs..... power......Anything." Bada's smirk widens .

Nana hesitates , remaining silent . She sighs . "Im sorry but I am not going to do that " Bada frowns but her frown sonn turns into a smirk. "Afraid?" Nana look at Bada with a confused look . "Afriad of what ?" She answers confused .

"That you'll lose your most prized possession?"

Her eyes widen. " I...I don't know what you're talking about" she stutters . "Without y/n your clan would be nothing. You'd be nothing...you're weak and we both know that ? You'd lose all your business and money.

Nana begins to violently shale . "You see, y/n , in your terms is ' a thing' for you to use ofr your own selfish needs ." Bada glares at Nana . She continues to tremble in fear .

"I don't see her in that way though....so what do you say?" Bada asks "what if I refuse?" She crosses her arms . "Then that's your call. I'm just warning you if you refuse , ill ruin your status, your business and dealing. " Bada chuckles. "You.... you wouldn't!" " ill maybe consider y/n continuing to come here and seeing you or the others."

Bada was right about everything . Your boss never cared once for you . She only wanted money , power and fame so she used you in order to get what she wanted .

"So what do you say?" She smirks . 'If I give y/n to her I won't have any business ruined . If this bitch considers it , she'll still come here but so often anymore...' Nana think . She looks down to her feet and nods .

"Deal..."

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Y/n let's go..." Kristen places her hand on your shoulder but you only shake your head . You refused to let go of Finn . "We need to go" Kristen says .

"You can go! Just leave me alone with him.." you cried . "I'll be waiting i-" Kristen stops talking as you both heard footsteps coming your way .

Kristen stand in front of you , hands in her pocket. Ready to pull her gun out and shoot the ones coming toward you.

Bada appears in of of Kristen with Nana behind her . You didn't bother looking up , you could care less about them . " I though I told you to le-" Nana stops talking as she sees you clutching on a dead body.....

Finn's lifeless body....

Bada starters at your broken state . She tries to approach you but Kristen didn't allow it . "Step aside." "Make me" Kristen snaps back . Bada glares. "Don't worry were about to leave." She responds to Nana .

"Jusg leave him y/n . Ill take care of Finn's-" you cut her off. " as if I'd leave him with you.....all you're gonna do is ditch his body somewhere and let it rot. I don't think so . I won't allow it !" You yell . Glaring at the boss with tears in your eyes . Taken by your words , she glares back .

She pulls her gun right at you . Both Kristen and Bada's eye's widen . Bada's blood boils with anger . She pulls out her own weapon , pointing it directly at Nana ? Her eyes widen in shock .

"Put the gun down"

Nana doesn't hesitate. She drops the gun and kicks it away . " you two leave , I want to have a private conversation with y/n" Bada ordered .

"No way i wo-" you interrupt Kristen . " I'll be fine Kristen , just go" you sigh quietly. She sighs back in defeat and nods . Both of them wait outside .

"Sorry for your loss" "cut the crap , what do you want ?! "She sighs and kneels down to your level , her hand reaching towards you . You glare and hold Finn's body closer to you .

"Im not going to do anything plea-" " you order your men to kill them!" Yu look down at Finn . Your tears landing on his face ."your order caused his death....." .

Memories begin to flood your mind . The first time you've met , the time he saved u his money to buy you a rose necklace for your birthday. You hah to admit , that was the nicest things someone has ever given to you. You promised him that you'll take good care of the necklace . You ever once took it off.

You've always enjoyed his energy, his courge , his kindness , his warm hugs....his smile...

His wamth was no longer there . His body was now cold and limp . No life left in him....

The image of him smiling brightly...

The time he'd run up to you and give you the biggest , warmest hugs right after you came from your job matter what time of the day was it .

You've always enjoyed it .

The image in your head of him smiling fading away . More tears start to steam down your eyes . Landing on Finn

You snap out of your thought as you feel a warm hand on your cheek . Bada's hand . She wipes away your tears .

"So warm , so soft "she says to herself . "Enough with the tears doll .I'm truly sorry for hurting you . I apologise for what I've done . Let me make it up to you " .

"There's nothing you can do to make it up... its already too late to him him...he's gone" you whisper " you didn't let me finish"

"I'll give him a proper burial . I won't allow that old women to ditch a child out of nowhere. I won't let her do such a thing . I can tell you two were close " you only nod

"A proper burial?" You quietly ask . She nods . "Yeah that would be nice.." you look down at Finn. You lace your hand on his eyes , closing them "I'll give you money if you wan-" .

"I don't want your money d rather you give it to his family . They need it the most... she once again nods and smiles this time.

"As you wish my doll " .

#swf2 #bada lee #bada lee x reader #bada lee x y/n #bada imagine #swf2 x reader #street woman fighter 2 #team bebe #bebe #street woman fighter x reader

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verosvault · 2 months

Text

🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 7🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"

Episode 7 "Stress Tested"

Timestamp: 00:06:51

Video Length: 4min. & 48sec.

Agent Clark spots Fig + Principal Grix's Mandatory Drug Test

Arcturus Grix: "Please give a warm welcome to law enforcement officer and agent of the Council of Chosen, Agent Clark." *Claps*

Fig does disguise self as Kristen! 😭✋

Gorgug is sitting between two Kristens! 😭✋

Fabian: "Do anybody else. Anyone else."

Brennan: "I rolled the nat20 on my Perception."

Agent Clark: "THERE YOU ARE!"

Brennan rolls a luck check!

Brennan: "One of you pick odds. One of you pick evens."

Everyone's reactions! 😂🤣💀

Brennan: "This episode's off to a rocky start, gang." 😂😂😭😭💀💀✋✋

Murph wants to silvery barbs the perception check

Brennan: "Okay. It's gonna be clear you're casting a spell."

Siobhan: "You got a two."

Brennan: "Oh, he got a two on the Perception?!"

Siobhan: "Yeah."

Brennan asks for a deception check from Fig!

Fig does it with advantage when she's disguised!!

Agent Cuspin Clark has a +10 to his perception and he got a 2 so his perception becomes a 12! 😭✋

Fig gets a 17 deception!

Brennan: "You see that Agent Clark, this literal eagle-eyed special agent, looking over a crowd that has two of the same person in it, begins to- he takes the mic off the podium-"

Emily: "With Gorgug in between."

Gorgug just put his huge axe in front of Fig! 😭✋

Ally: "I'm just smiling. I don't even know you've done it yet." 😭✋

Agent Clark: "Disguises. Pretty fun. Right, gang? Pretty fun to commit fraud, to pretend."

Kristen wonders what Grix is talking about and then notices Fig and asks her what she's doing! 😂🤣😭💀

Agent Clark: "To pretend to be someone you're not. It's all fun and games."

Gorgug whispers to Kristen: "Change into Fabian."

Kristen: Okay."

Ally grunts and does an impression of Fabian! 😂😂🤣🤣😭😭✋✋💀💀

Fabian: "Stop. Stop. Stop. That was sophomore year. I'm cool now."

Ally just keeps dancing 😂🤣💀

Fabian: "No. Stop. Stop, this is just rude. This is just rude. The Ball, do something." 😭✋

Brennan: "Your entire section loses it over this bit."

Kristen makes a persuasion check and gets a 16! 😂

Brennan: "So you guys sort of check out of Agent Clark's speech to watch Kristen kind of body roll for a second until you hear,"

Agent Clark: "All fun and games until DOPPELGANGERS BURN YOUR NEST! Thank you for your time." 😭✋

Agent Clark hands the mic back to Principal Grix! 😭✋

Emily: "That's a lot of emotional baggage to dump on some high schoolers."

Ally: "Wow."

Zac: "You'd think some sort of agent would be able-"

Ally: "Maybe reel it in."

Principal Grix: "As this injunction has been filed in between two segments of an auditorium assembly, the question and answer period will be limited to (beeping) 3 questions."

Adaine: "Okay, so are we not allowed to disguise ourselves or use Mirror Image or anything anymore? 'Cause like we've specifically been learning that in school and it's not against the law. So, like, why is-"

Principal Grix: "Did you not hear the middle portion of Agent Clark's speech?"

Adaine: "I just wanna clarify for everybody here that maybe didn't."

Emily and Ally dancing again 😂

Principal Grix: 'Please consult the Adventurer's Handbook regarding-"

Fabian to Kristen: "It's more like this anyway." 😭😭✋✋

Principal Grix: "Authorized usage of disguise and enchantment spells are-"

Fabian to Kristen: "Your shoulders need to go up."

Brennan: "The entire section just starts going, woo!" *dancing* 😂🤣💀✋

Adaine: "I'm sorry. I don't think we ever received an Adventurer's Handbook. We were just told that chronomancy was the best kind of magic and then kinda sent on our way."

Principal Grix: "I must to the printing room at once. Copies will be provided at end of day of the Adventurer's Handbook. Only authorized uses of disguise in the service of a sanctioned adventure will be allowed on Aguefort campus. For the final bit of business today at the assembly, it has come to the attention of the student government that there may have been some illicit activity during non-school hours. You will all now be submitted to a mandatory drug test."

The awesome caption team: (scanner whirring)

😭😭✋✋

Principal Grix scans the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY! 😭✋

Fig: "It's a good thing I've been too busy to do drugs." 😭✋

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theballsbriefcase · 2 months

Text

Bucky Applebees Goes to a Party

Bucky didn’t think he’d get this far, he was sure someone would have turned him around but here he was standing on Fabian Seacasters front lawn as his sister rode a demon motorcycle dressed as a shrimp into a pool of tartar sauce that she somehow lit on fire. He listened as people chanted her name and called her a legend. He watched as teens all around him split off to drink, dance, talk, or … well other activities Bucky wasn't sure he was even allowed to think about.

The night whirled by him but he was always searching for Kristen, finding her in different crowds of people usually with one of her friends by her side. He watched her from afar, watched as she laughed and joked, as she drank from a solo cup, as she talked to Buddy Dawn of all people, and just couldn’t help but question it all. His sister had been the chosen of Helio and she had left all that, left him and his brothers for this? For these people, she called friends? He didn’t understand it but he also couldn’t stop watching, so he stayed and watched.

Eventually, the party started to slow down and people started to go home but not Bucky. Instead, he sat out on the lawn and watched the dawn come not knowing what to do but knowing that he would be in trouble when he got home and that he had found none of the answers he was looking for.

“Bucky?” Suddenly Kristen was standing next to him, a solo cup in her hand and a crooked cowboy hat on her head.

“Um, uh hi … I’m not meant to be here.” He stumbled out.

“No you’re not, you are out waaaay past curfew.” Kristen smiled as she sat next to him.

“I know, I’m going straight to hell.” Bucky said sadly after few quiet moments.

“No, you’re not. It takes a lot more than breaking curfew once to go to hell.” Kristen told him taking a large swig of her drink and grimacing.

“How would you know?” Bucky almost spat at her but his curiosity came out instead.

“I’ve been to heaven and I’ve been to hell. I’ve met Helio and Sol, I’ve created a god, killed a god, and saved a god. I know some things.” She gave him a hard look before looking back at the horizon.

“I … I didn’t … when did?” Bucky could barely comprehend what she was saying.

He’d heard rumors about Kristen of course both at church and now in the halls at Auegfort but all of that had to be nonsense, none of it sounded like his older sister. Kristen didn’t kill dragons and date werewolves, she made friendship bracelets and healed bruises. She wasn’t some big hero, she was a sinner, an apostate. She was just a teenage girl, just his older sister. There was no way the rumors at Auegfort could be true about her, he would know … wouldn’t he?

“I’ve been busy these last two years.” She winked at him.

“Right. Busy.” Bucky’s voice hardened again as he thought of her absence.

“I’m sorry Bucky, I’m sorry I left you and Bricker and Cork. Thats not what big sisters are meant to do, I … miss you all so much every day but I had to leave.” Kristens voice wobbled as she spoke.

“Why?”

“Because I lost my faith in Helio and I knew I wouldn’t be welcome anymore. Our parents are not accepting people and they would not accept me, my beliefs, or my life.” Kristen explained.

“How could you lose your faith? You were chosen!” Bucky is almost pleading with her.

“When I died I asked why there was so much suffering but Helio didn’t answer me instead he sent me back here. After that I … I’ve been searching for meaning, why things happen and I think I’m awfully close to knowing that we … well that we will never know why there is suffering but that's not a bad thing. Doubt is okay, the unknown isn’t always terrifying and it's perfectly fine to just not know.” Kristen is staring at the horizon now and a tear is on her cheek but all Bucky feels is disappointment, confusion, and anger.

Bucky shakes his head, “Faith is what matters.”

“Faith in what?” Kristen asked him, her voice harder her eyes looking at him now.

“Faith in Helio.”

“Only faith in Helio matters?”

“What else is there?” Bucky asks quietly as if the very question itself would hurt him.

“Everything. There is a whole world out there Bucky, there are planes of existence that would blow your mind, and faith in Helio is … if it's something you truly believe in, something you study and know with all the good and the bad then that is your faith but I … well I believe in something else.” She told him.

“I don’t understand how two years at High School can change someone so much.” Bucky said after a few moments of silence.

“One day it’ll be the first weekend after your first week of Junior year at Auegfort and we’ll see how much you’ve changed.” She smiled widely at him.

“I love you Bucky, and I love Bricker and Cork. You can always come to me if you need help, or someone to talk to or a place to stay. I’m still your big sister, nothing can ever change that.” She gave him a side hug before getting up, dusting off her wranglers and walking into Seacaster Manor.

Bucky stayed where he was for a few more minutes before finding his bike in the bushes he’d hid it in on the way here hours before and rode home. The lights were still off and Bucky let out a grateful prayer as he managed to slip in through the back door and up to his bedroom his parents none the wiser that he’d been to his first high school party and talked to his big sister.

#fhjy #fantasy high #fanfic #drabble #just a little scene i thought of #unedited

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outrunningthedark · 1 year

Note

Seeing the new bts with hen and chim made me even more mad about how they treated buddie in 6a, because this means we surely have more amazing chim/ hen content one of the best friendship of every tv show, and that they’re the first person they talk to about anything like hen confided in chim about Denny, now he goes to her for the ring. We used to have another couple that confided in each other a lot, but we’re not allowed to see them interact anymore

I get the inclination to prepare for the worst, but we don't know what we're getting from Buddie because nobody is giving anything up. (I don't think it's a covert operation over there. Ryan never posts and Oliver goes through his phases re: engaging with the fandom on insta) 2. I don't care how platonic anyone on that writing staff believes Buck and Eddie to be, everyone in the room knows you can't have an injured Buck (or Eddie; let's humor the speculation for a minute) and not involve his best friend in some way. They will interact. 3. When they *do* interact, it is up to every individual to first see whatever happens as a close male (familial) friendship. Tim may not always say the "right thing", but he was on the money when he said the show is stuck in a lose-lose situation. Separate them? People complain because of homophobia. Give them scenes? People complain because "they should be together". I agree that outright saying "Listen, ship to your heart's content, but it ain't happening" would weed out a lot of the negativity, but he and Kristen CONSISTENTLY refer to them as friends, so folks need to learn to ship without expectation - nothing wrong with optimism, though - or abandon this environment all together.

#anonymous #tina speaks #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie

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vriskadyke · 3 years

Text

anyone ever think about how the bad kids all started out with like, no friends

like gorgug canonically didnt have any friends pre-bad kids, riz's only friendship was his fuckin babysitter, kristen might have known people also in the cult but let me tell you, friends you have when you're as trapped as she was Do Not Count, adaine DEFINITELY didnt have friends, fabian's 'friendships'- if he had any- were all most likely not genuine at all- and fig lost all her friends when her horns came in

and then you think about how they all had some kind of trauma or psychological issue coming into their friendship, especially regarding their home lives

fabian's mom was an alcoholic. bill cares a lot about his son but sophomore year makes it very clear just how much his expectations, intentional or not, fucked up fabian, and how bill's expressions of love arent exactly... healthy. like, to me i'd probably place fabian's issue as being closest to parental neglect- yes, both hallariel and bill were present and loved him, but bill especially started out not loving him as an Actual Person ("i thought you were just going to be me. a way for me to live forever"). actually the entirety of family in flames really shows this- bill was not a good parent, and it Really Messed fabian up. hell, bill physically assaults fabian at one point and calls him soft. while fabian is in jail. bill is the root of his issues with toxic masculinity

we know adaine is an abuse and neglect victim, so that goes without saying

i am firmly in the camp that sandra lynn was a good parent to fig (yes, she fucks up during sophomore year, but i think that was Very Complicated and not something she ever intended for fig to have to deal with). but gilear was not a good parent to her. i will point to the very first episode on this. fig says "the look on his face when my horns started growing in didn't look a lot like love". in a later conversation in the same ep, gilear says "i know i said some hurtful things when i first found out". fig fires back with "yeah, you said 'you're no longer a faeth', and guess what, i'm not. i'm just fig now"

and god, how much that must have fucked her up. especially since canonically fig lost all her friends during this time period. How much that must have hurt. i firmly believe that fig's behavior during season 1 re: trying to find her dad is a product of the fact that gilear said that. "i'm not your daughter anymore? fine, ill find a dad who does want me". not to mention that she feels GUILTY for being the product of an affair. she says that she's "the living embodiment of someone betraying gilear". thats so fucking sad. and couple all this with the loss of her friends, a double puberty- tiefling *and* normal (i hc fig as a trans girl so this is especially gutwrenching for her)- and that's enough to fuck up Anyone

sklonda was a wonderful parent to riz and so was pok- i love them both- but just because they were both great parents doesn't mean there's not trauma from the loss of a parent, especially since riz is so young, and he had so little closure. remember, all he knew was that his dad died in a shipwreck. plus, his only friend goes missing and so do a bunch of other girls and he has no answers about what happened. and maybe it's not trauma, but the combination of these two things is definitely a huge emotional weight on him, especially before he met the bad kids!!

and gorgug- like i said, he had no friends growing up. i don't think i can fully explain how much it hurts to have no sympathetic peers growing up- and i had some friends, even if they weren't always the best of friends and even if i couldn't talk to them about everything. gorgug had absolutely no one. not to mention the fact that he grows up in a community where no one looks like him- and wilma and digby were absolutely great parents (the world if all parents were like wilma and digby.....) but that doesn't change the fact that there was a huge gap between him and the rest of the people who surrounded him. and how sad and lonely that must have been. how utterly full of despair

kristen. kristen applebees. i think people forget that her home life wasn't just ultra-religious but a full on fucking cult. she had probably never met anyone outside the cult before going to the academy. the reason she was even allowed to go was probably because coach daybreak worked there and would keep an eye on her. and kristen's a lesbian. and it's canonical that she's a lesbian, yes, but also that the cult was explicitly very homophobic. i firmly, adamantly believe that there was a whole journey between season 1 and 2 where kristen had to grapple with that. tracker brought her to lgbt parties and kristen literally hid in the bathroom because it was so fucking alien and scary to her.

how full of fear she must have been growing up, expressing herself and immediately being told that it's a sin in the eyes of helio. ESPECIALLY because she was the fucking chosen of helio. she was their pinnacle, the embodiment of everything they stood for. there's so many things that the cult probably did that kristen didn't even bat an eyelid at. the scene in dishing with a demon where she's talking about the harvest festival, kristen talks about adults torturing children with sleep deprivation as if she's talking about a cool summer class she took. gorthalax talks about the harvestmen and kristen doesn't think about cultists in robes hurting people, she thinks of corn ears and pop quizzes and her parents.

these kids were all so fucked up prior to meeting each other. and yknow what. i think that might be why they all ended up being so close. there's a certain recognition that kids who have Gone Through Shit have for one another. especially if you fight a demon corn glob butthole together.

#the bad kids #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #figueroth faeth #fabian aramais seacaster #riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #d20 #fae.txt #id tag

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 3 years

Note

I’m actually one of the larries who’s Louis centric and I actually agree with your posts about Harry. I can’t help it, deep down I still want them to overcome it all, but I know they aren’t. I talk about Louis more then Harry/Larry. Harry makes me wanna scream sometimes, yet I still pull for them. I guess cause they fought hard. L is my favorite member and always has been. So there are some Louis centric Larries. I guess I’m just an idiot who thinks they still care. I just want Louis to be happy

Hello!

Thank you for your message.

Because of my bias, I tend to see Harry-centric Larries (all of my previous Larrie friends and most of the Larrie accounts I see). I know now that there is nothing either Harry or Louis can do to change their minds, because Harry will always be the center of their hearts, with Louis in a far-flung orbit somewhere.

What repulses me is the way that these Larries, who claim to have affection for Louis, proselytize the ideas that Louis isn’t ambitious, doesn’t want a career, prefers to play second banana, doesn’t deserve a solo fandom, has horrible solo fans, deserves to have a fanbase that ONLY agrees with their criteria, deserves to have his solo fandom wiped out.

There is never the same energy against solo Harry fans.

These Larries know that Louis’ fandom is his biggest asset. The industry protection for Harry makes him titanium. He is sleeping with the director of his movie, but he’s indestructible— not even a whiff of bad press. Was there bad press, the way it was for Kristen Stewart? Will he lose roles like Lily James? No, not Harry. Will there be 50+ articles about Harry fucking his way to the top, the way there were 50+ Freddie-Louis articles the day after Just Like You charted number one last sumner? No.

Louis doesn’t have this protection. You say you’re a Louie first, so you must see this, because this disparity between Louis and Harry isn’t only obvious, it is deafening.

You must know that Louis relies on fans to introduce him to a GP market, and see that his team is closely affiliated with Harry’s and not in a good way.

Is the imaginary relationship worth filtering out real-world facts? You choose to affiliate yourself with a group that wants Louis to always be less-than, inferior, second-best, and they don’t even try to disguise it anymore.

Sometimes not choosing to let go is also a choice. Not rebelling against bad things sometimes is allowing bad things to flourish... in politics as in fandom.

I appreciate your love and support of Louis. Remember that courage is a hard choice but Louis has written about it numerous times on his album. Harry, almost never, because he has never needed to.

#louis tomlinson #harry styles

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years

Text

stuck together ~ scotty sire

word count: 1777

request?: no

description: when a worldwide lockdown leaves you stuck in a house with your brother’s friends, you are forced to admit your feelings to his best friend

pairing: scotty sire x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

i know scotty isn’t in isolation with todd and the boys but for the sake of this imagine he is

It was only meant to be a short visit. With everything going on, you decided to visit your big brother for a week before things got so bad that you wouldn’t be able to. However, just before you were supposed to go home, everything shut down and everyone was sent into isolation. Thus, you were stuck at your brother’s place with him, his roommates, Zane and Matt, and his best friend, Scotty.

Staying with Todd, Matt, and Zane alone would have been fine. You got along very well with your brother’s roommates and, although you two constantly teased each other, you didn't mind getting to spend so much time with him. The only problem was Scotty.

For as long as you had known Scotty, the two of you had a love-hate relationship. You constantly annoyed one another and some days neither of you could even stand to be in the same room. So being stuck in a house with him with nowhere to go definitely was not going great, for either of you or for the others in the house.

You were in the shower, rinsing off the last of the shaving cream from your legs, when you heard yet another loud knocking come to the bathroom door.

“I’m almost finished!” you called as you reached to turn off the water.

“You said that like 10 minutes ago!” came Scotty’s voice.

You rolled your eyes and stepped out of the shower. You dried yourself off and wrapped one towel around your hair and another around your body. When you opened the bathroom door, you found Scotty standing there in just a pair of sweatpants with a towel thrown over his shoulder.

“If you kept hassling me I would’ve stayed longer,” you told him,

“You can’t stay in the shower forever. I’d get in eventually,” Scotty retorted.

You raised an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge, Sire?”

Scotty merely looked at you for some time before pushing past you into the bathroom. You rolled your eyes and went to get dressed. You were towel drying your hair when you heard a yelp that was obviously Scotty’s coming from the bathroom. You smirked to yourself as you got dressed and made your way to the kitchen.

“Did you use all the hot water again?” Todd asked as you poured yourself a glass of OJ.

“Not on purpose!” you responded. “I didn’t know I was in there that long!”

The sound of footsteps came down the hall and Scotty stood there with a towel wrapped around his waist and still dripping water.

“You used up all the hot water!” he exclaimed.

“I didn’t mean to!” you snapped back. “The water was still hot when I got out, I’m sorry.”

“Man, no wonder you’re not in a relationship. Any guy you date would never be able to shower because you’d use all the hot water on them.”

Your face fell at his words. Your relationship status was a touchy subject, everyone knew that, even Scotty. To bring it up was really a low blow for him.

You fought back tears as you brushed past Scotty, speed walking straight to your room to get away from the situation as quickly as you could. Behind you, you heard Todd mutter, “Dude, not cool.”

~~~~~~

Later that night, after everyone else had gone to bed, you snuck from your room to the kitchen to grab a snack. You ended up spending the whole day in your room. Todd tried to coax you into coming out a few times, but you refused to face Scotty. You just wanted to be alone.

You grabbed the tub of chocolate ice cream that was stored away in the back of the freezer and a spoon. The ice cream was almost gone anyways, so you didn’t feel too bad about eating it straight from the tub.

You sat up on the island, shovelling spoonfuls of ice cream into your mouth, when you heard someone coming from their room. You didn’t think much of it until someone spoke.

“Oh, hey.”

You turned to see Scotty stood there in a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. You rolled your eyes and looked back down to your ice cream, taking another spoonful in your mouth to prohibit you from saying anything.

“Listen,” he continued, “what I said earlier, that was so wrong of me. I’m so sorry, I hope you know I didn’t mean it.”

You didn’t respond. You focused your full attention on the ice cream, trying to keep the tears at bay as the memory of Scotty’s earlier words came back to your mind.

He walked over to the cutlery drawer and pulled out a spoon. He tried to scoop some ice cream out for himself, but you quickly jerked away and held the tub to yourself, protectively.

“No ice cream for assholes,” you muttered as you turned away from him completely.

“Come on, (Y/N), I said I was sorry,” he sighed.

“Sorry means jack shit!” you hissed. “Scott, you know how much talking about my relationship status hurts me, but to make a joke saying why I’m not good enough to be in a relationship? I know you don’t like me, but Jesus, dude, that was too much!”

“But why is whether or not you’re in a relationship such a big deal to you?” he asked as he sat himself next to you on the island. “And I don’t...not like you. I think you’re a pretty awesome person. I just figured you hated me, so I always relayed those jokes and jabs. I definitely took it too far today, that’s on me.”

You sighed as you watched some melted ice cream fall from your spoon back into the tub. “I don’t hate you.”

“Then why do you act like you do?”

“The answer to that and to your earlier question are very similar answers.”

“And those would be?”

When you looked up at him, he was looking back at you expectantly. You could choose to play off the whole thing and give him some bullshit answer, refuse to answer all together, or you could finally tell Scotty the truth. It would feel like a weight off of your shoulders if you did, but it could also make things much more awkward than they already were. It wasn’t like you could tell him and then leave to go home. You were still going to be stuck with him in isolation for at least another few months.

But you had let this much slip, what was the point of going back? Might as well come clean.

“It’s because...I’ve always had a crush on you.”

You looked back to the ice cream tub as you said it, trying to play off the words as if they were nothing. Scotty’s stillness, however, told you that he definitely was not going to let this go.

“What?” he questioned. “Really?” You nodded. “Why did you never tell me?”

“Because you were with Kristen, and you were so happy with her. Honestly, all of us thought you two were going to end up getting married and living happily ever after. I figured...well I thought it would just be easier to act like I hated you and push you away than to allow myself to continue being heartbroken.”

Scotty sat back with his arms behind him, taking in the information. You looked off in front of you, absentmindedly continuing to eat as Scotty let what you had said to set in. You figured whatever he was about to say next would be the determining factor on how these next few months were going to go.

“Why didn’t you tell me after Kristen and I broke up?” he asked, the question sort of taking you by shock.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I had figured the charade was so far gone that there was no use in admitting the truth. That it’d probably be easier just to pretend I hated you for the rest of my life instead of admitting the truth and being rejected.”

“Why do you think I’d reject you?”

You turned to face Scotty, glaring at him. “That’s not funny.”

“What?”

“Don’t say shit like that, not after I’m admitting a secret I’ve been keeping for so long to you. You’re already making me regret it.”

“I’m not trying to make you regret it, I’m just asking a very valid question. Why do you think I’d reject you if I was single?”

“Because...I don’t know. I’m just your best friend’s baby sister, I didn’t think I was exactly a dating candidate.”

“Well, you are my best friend’s little sister, that’s a fact. But just because you are doesn’t mean you’re officially crossed off the list for potential dating candidates. Not to me anyways.”

I looked at him long and hard, trying to see if he was joking or not. “What are you getting at, Sire?”

Scotty threw his head back and let out a long groan. “What I’m trying to get at, Smith, is that I like you, too. And I have ever since I broke up with Kristen, maybe even before. Part of the reason we broke up was because I didn’t really love her like I once did, and upon being apart from her and thinking it all over, I realized that maybe the reason why I didn’t love her like I once had anymore was because I liked someone else. Someone being...you.”

You looked at Scotty for a long time, trying to let the information sink in, but for some reason it just wasn’t sticking. Part of you just didn’t believe that Scotty could possibly like you. Although, part of you still just couldn’t believe that he was finally single at the same time that you were, so it was actually possible to try and be together.

“I know it's not exactly the greatest time to start dating,” Scotty said. “But when everything opens again I’d like to take you on an actual date, if you’d let me.”

You couldn’t help but smile as your heart began to beat a million miles a second. Unable to really say anything, you just nodded quickly, causing Scotty to smile as well. Suddenly, he sat up and dug his spoon into the ice cream, managing to get even a little bit before you yanked the tub away from him again.

“No! Just because I said I’d date you doesn't mean you get my ice cream!” you laughed as he tried to reach around you to get more.

“Oh, I will get that ice cream, just you wait!”

#scotty sire #scotty sire imagine #scotty sire x reader #the vlog squad #vlog #vlog squad #vlog squad imagine #imagine #one shot

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isthisthingeven0n · 4 years

Text

i love you : d.d

brief summary: based on the song i love you by billie eilish (a blessing of a song) (also i based it on particular lyrics from the song, i hope that makes sense!)

word count: 1.4k requested: yes, by a sweet anon. i hope you like how it turned out! warnings: angsty, but it has a fluffy ending of course

* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it isn’t me. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)

Curling up closer to him in bed, you hear him murmur in content. “You comfy?” You giggle, watching as he nods before reaching to turn off his lamp.

“Comfy as can be.” He mutters in response before turning around to face you.

Despite it being dark, you can make out small details of him. You can see his lips are rising into a smile, his teeth slightly exposed as he squints his eyes at you.

You roll over so he can be the big spoon and your legs intertwine with his. Never before have you understood how people comment on fitting perfectly together, but with David it makes sense.

“Hey,” He whispers, but you remain unresponsive as you’re dozing off. “I just wanted to say that you mean so much to me,” He continues, his fingers dancing around your side.

Freezing up you turn around to face him, not quite seeing the look in his eyes. “What’re you doing?” You question, any sign of humour having left you as you focus on him.

“I, I need to tell you something,” David states quietly and you move to sit upright.

You let out a small sigh. “You cheated on me?” You joke, but David shakes his head as he turns his lamp on, dimly illuminating the bedroom.

David chuckles as he shakes his head. “No, I love you too much to ever do that.” The words roll off of his tongue with ease and silence falls in the room as realisation hits. “I, I,” He stutters, looking over as you remain too still. “are you in there?” David moves closer, waving his hand over your face as you snap out of it.

“I, sorry,” You mumble as you run your fingers through your hair.

“I was just trying to make you laugh, that’s all.” He tries to cover it up, downplay what he’s just said despite it being true. He truly does love you.

You nod to yourself. “Yeah, I get that.” You weakly reply as you pull the duvet further over you. “I think I’m just going to get some sleep.” You turn away from him, resting your head against the pillow.

David looks over at you, wishing he could’ve said something else or at least followed it up. But he didn’t. He admitted how he truly feels about you and he ruined it, the moment that should’ve been perfect was completely botched.

Sighing to himself, he turns the light off and for the first time distance remains between you as you sleep.

You didn’t expect it, that’s what hurts.

After your last relationship fell apart, you thought you were taking it slow with David, but clearly, he is on a different wavelength to you.

“I just, I didn’t know what to say,” You admit as you curl up into your armchair as Carly and Kristen sit in an uncomfortable silence having just heard about the events of last night.

“So what did you say?” Kristen questions, already wincing as she awaits the response.

You bury your head in your hands as you groan loudly. “I said I was sorry, and he admitted he was trying to make me laugh.”

Both girls wince at the harsh answer. “Wow.” Carly states as Kristen fiddles with her rings.

“It’s just after Harry cheated I’ve been so afraid of falling in love again.” You state, trying to suppress all those memories. “He told me he loved me, and he meant it but he broke me, knowing how much I cared.” You wipe your eyes, hating that despite it being a year ago he can still affect you this way.

“But David isn’t like Harry, Y/n.” Kristen speaks up, catching your attention as you focus on her. “David treats you right, and we can all see it.”

You look over to see Carly nodding in agreement, and if all of your friends were here too, they’d be telling you the same.

“Do you feel the same?” Carly speaks up.

The question hangs in the air around you, floating slowly before burying itself into your shoulders. You can feel the pressure building, that if you just say the truth it’ll leave. But fear contradicts it. If you say the truth and he breaks your heart you’ll be reunited with this feeling of pain.

“I’m scared to tell him.” You mutter quietly, picking up your mug as you take a sip of coffee. “but I can’t imagine my life without him anymore.”

It’s true, you can’t.

Earlier you sat on your sofa, wishing he was beside you watching a movie. Photos and memories line your shelves of the times you’ve shared, before and during your relationship. You’ve never been happier, and it shows. So how can you just throw it all away?

“I gotta tell him,” You declare and Kristen nods eagerly.

“Well? What’s stopping you?”

You sigh as you take your phone and check your calendar. “Shit, he’s on a flight to New York.” You roll your eyes.

“Talk about poor timing, shit.” Carly huffs loudly. “I guess we gotta get you on a flight to New York.”

Somehow, by a miracle, you made it to New York. Your bank account isn’t the happiest, but you will be once you find him.

You’ve been in touch with Natalie, monitoring their whereabouts and you had the perfect plan to meet him in Central Park as the street lamps illuminate you both.

As you wander through Central Park, you can feel yourself breaking down. Nerves overcome you as you think about his reaction. What if he isn’t interested or no longer cares? You hurt him once, why would he even allow you to put him through that again?

Doubt clouds your mind and you aren’t looking where you’re going.

“Watch it,” You speak up, turning to see David being the force who collided into you. “Dave?”

Pausing in his place, David turns on his heels to see you before him. “What?” He is surprised, to say the least. “Y/n, I, what’re you doing here?” He asks, but there isn’t a smile on his lips like you anticipated. “I’m just on my way to meet Natalie, I, why are you here?”

The words leave his lips harshly, and you take a step back as those doubts return with thunder rolling through the clouds.

“I needed to see you,” You tell him weakly, distance still remaining between the two of you as you shuffle your feet. “I wanted to talk about last night because I should’ve said something and I didn’t.”

“You don’t have to, Y/n.” David says softly, a hint of disappointment in his tone. “It’s okay, I mean if you’re not ready I get it. And I’m sorry if you felt uncomfortable about it.” He shrugs his shoulder as his hands bury further into the pockets of his jacket.

You shake your head. “It’s not that at all, Dave,” You say with a heavy sigh, watching your breath float through the air. “I do, I really do feel the same but I’m just scared to admit it aloud.”

“Why? What’s stopping you?” He retorts, looking at you as tears begin to form in your eyes.

“I’m scared if I say it, that it’ll ruin everything. That this perfect bubble we have will be popped and you’ll realise you don’t want me.” You reel off your thoughts to him and you focus on his smile, how he’s trying to comfort you as you feel like you’re dying inside.

David takes a step forward and reaches out. He takes a hold of your hand and pulls you into his embrace. “It’s okay,” He shushes as the tears fall down your cheeks, hitting his jacket. “I’ll always care about you, Y/n. I won’t ever break your heart like he did.” His hand rises and strokes your hair soothingly and he listens as you sniff quietly.

“Thank you, David.” You mutter as you close your eyes. “I love you too.”

Pulling you out from his arms, David raises an eyebrow to you. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” A smile rises across his lips as you chuckle, using your sleeve to wipe your face. “Gotta speak up a bit, baby.”

“I love you, David.” You speak clearly, smiling to yourself. “Happy?” You playfully question as he takes his hand in yours.

“As I could be.”

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matt-skc-rp · 3 years

Text

Summer Heat Wave|| Swiftimer AU Drabble

A/N: Shout out to my girl @suzydoozy, who's been working really hard all summer so I decided to surprise her with a drabble I wrote in the morning. Love you, boo! Keep going you got this!

Matt woke up early and flinched slightly at the cat Mochi sleeping on his chest. He gently moves the feline and slinks out of bed, shuffling to the bathroom to get his bearings and sneak a cigarette. Suzy's phone was still going off, although she was dead asleep from their late night. He creeped over and turned her phone off, which caused the girl to stir, putting a reassuring hand on her back and rubbing it, receiving a sleepy groan in response. He looks down and sees her notifications (even though he shouldn't) to see that Arin had called her and texted her all night. Her DND must turn off in the mornings.

He didn't pay it any mind anymore.

The two had been hooking up since the end of the last semester and she begged him to make sure nobody knew. It wasn't like Matt was in a relationship himself, but she even instructed him not to tell Kristen, which was different. He told her everything, even if it was nothing going on. Those planned occasions when they would go to a fancy restaurant and just spill the tea on their respective houses and plan their next attack on how to keep the campus as aesthetically pleasing as possible. It started so innocent: Suzy had been up late and wanted to stream a scary game, but didn't want to be alone. Arin was busy- well she thought he was busy because he wasn't answering his phone at all- and the girl thumbed over the other's contact, thinking that she might reneg and just ask her ex-roommate from Theta instead. But no. A few very brief messages later he showed up to Gamma, his lanky frame in his OG Twitch hoodie and some black jean shorts.

They sat together day after day playing games, eating, and just hanging out- their platonic touches falling away innocently for the thrill of fun and companionship. That's what they told each other. She remembered how she felt the day that she was standing in Theta with his hoodie draped over her and nothing much else, feeling more comfortable with him than Arin but not by much. She knew it was for the moment. She knew it was temporary. Matt is just so sweet and at times a little hard to figure out, but she really felt at home. She still doesn't remember what exactly got them to their lips touching in the still kitchen, the light from the windows shining on them. He had walked away that day.

Now she was sleeping in his bed, wearing his t-shirt with nothing on, fully satisfied after yet another late romp. Every morning she woke up in his room, she reveled in the smells of smoke and herbal air freshener. That gentle hand on her back as she stirred awake, his way of coaxing her to sleep in. He's so polite. He really cares even though he's not anything. Maybe that's what makes all of this so hard for her but so easy to fall into. She heard her phone ring and then stop, then the hand on her back, a light press of lips in her hair. She slept in her makeup again, but she couldn't help not caring about how she looked around the man. The girl stretched in the bed, moaning as Mochi stretched with her and climbed into her lap once she sat up. The girl pet and gave love to her kitty as she refused to look at her phone.

"You want breakfast?" Matt asked, closing the window but not shutting it as he put the butt in the ashtray. Suzy shakes her head as Mochi runs off to chase the shadow of the trees on the window, making the girl giggle lightly. "You wanna talk?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck before stretching himself.

"What happened with you and Gabbie?" she asked simply, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.

"Eh, I mean we're still going, but she's just taking a lot of different directions. She went home before finals ended. Why?" he said, picking up his extra clothes from the floor before starting his pushups.

"Just curious..." she said, watching him and moving to the edge of the bed to see better.

"If you're wondering if I'm cheating, technically I am, but Gabbie isn't exactly in the headspace to worry about me right now, I'm actually glad I get a break from trying to understand somebody," he said with grunts as he pounded out each one, "I mean we're not super serious according to her, so I don't see the harm in test driving a few other ideas while she's not here."

"So...if she came back and wanted a relationship.." she started.

"I ask her if she's sure..then I'd be all for it. I still really like her, but I'm not running to go and be cuffed up since cuffing season is approaching, you know?" he replied.

"Wh-what would happen then?" she asked, playing with the helm of the t-shirt.

"What's with the questions?" he said, standing up and sitting on his knees after taking a breath.

"I dunno...guilt I guess," she said.

"You have nothing to be guilty about, at least I don't think so...Same with you, I'm not worried-"

"So what is this?" she blurts.

"What?" he asked after choking on his water, "What is what?"

"You know...this," she gesticulates, thrusting her hand back and forth.

"Fling. It's a summer fling. They're really popular this time of the year...Why are you so worried about it? Aren't you excited to have him to go back to?" he asked, sitting down in front of her.

"I mean...yeah, but..I really like the fling..I'm just saying," she began, not really sure how to finish.

"You can like the fling, but it's a fling. It's gonna end..and we'll go back to being friends or complete strangers, but I think that's the difficult part of that," he says, taking her hands, "For me, at least."

"Oh...well, do your planks," she giggled lightly, deflecting her feelings.

~~~

Suzy bit her lip, clicking through her chat and switching tabs to make sure OBS was recording, watching chat start just to roll in, she greeted her stream. It was supposed to be just a typical night for her. Some games, some ideas, some editing then she was going to bed.

Matt stood impatiently, checking around to see if anyone can see him, still checking his phone to make sure he wasn't getting any calls from his sister especially.

They embraced how they usually do, but tonight Suzy didn't let go. "Heyy, what's up?"

"N-Nothing..I just..I guessed I missed you," Suzy said, trying to hide the red flushing her cheeks. She backed away and showed him to her room. She walked on her tiptoes through the hall, hearing the faint noises of the other gamers in the house before getting to her door, decorated with cheap Halloween decorations with a little work done to make them scarier and aesthetically pleasing.

Matt shrugged off her response and followed behind her until they were at her door, the one with Halloween on it no matter the time of the year. He liked all the little things that were different about her, but still reminded him of Gabbie, like their love for dark themes. Suzy still was acting weird to him, but he passed it off as some hormonal thing or a mental episode and she just needed the company. He had just seen her a few days ago and she wasn't like this, but he never really took the time to know why she was even at the school in the first place save for a few traumatic experiences she shared that they bonded over.

Once they were in the room, Matt broke the silence, "Com'ere," he muttered, pulling her gently by the hand, which she allowed herself to turn around and shuffle towards the taller man, he picked her head up and gave a soft peck on her lips, wrapping his arms around her, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing-I...I dunno. I usually know," Suzy explained softly, not wanting to break the sound barrier of his embrace, "I barely made it through the stream..I guess I've been working too much."

"Maybe you need something to take your mind off..hm?...But I saw your stream, you did great despite how you felt," he said, pushing her hair from her eyes and lifted her head up by her chin. Suzy was already feeling better with the kiss, but the way he just cradles her and makes her feel like a little girl who just scraped her knee. She wanted him to buy her ice cream to match his sweetness.

"Were you busy? Is your sister gonna call tonight?" she asked, shifting her feet underneath.

"No..I told her I had a long night of editing to do from that road trip that I totally lied about. I'll tell her tomorrow that the files were corrupted..you know...stupid stuff just to get away from my phone...I wasn't doing anything when you called me," he replied, scoffing lightly with a smirk shifting with her. Maybe it was this that she missed: idle dumb conversation about how their lives were. Not planning how they were going to approach their fling with the utmost clandestine. "The real question is..why didn't you call Arin?" he asked, wasn't sure if he was allowed to.

"Wasn't picking up, and he isn't in his room, so I guess he's at a Grump session or he's playing games with his friends...but I guess you'll do," she joked, finally cracking a smirk.

"Sounds good to me, that's literally what I'm here for," he said at a regular volume, "It's just a matter of what we're gonna do now...feeling sexy? You want me to make you something to eat? To drink?"

Suzy looked up when he asked if she was feeling sexy, it rang in her ears that it would be the perfect distraction. She had ignored her thoughts all day and did everything she could to push the idea away in order to get more important things done and to just act like she was a developed person who could function without it. Guess she was wrong. "I-I do...feel..like I could use some..uhh..attention I guess..see how I feel.."

"Well...what do'ya want? Ball's in your court," he said, surprised that her first choice was sex, but he was the fling, of course they can have sex. That's the whole point. He was willing to do more, but maybe he needed to get some clarity and figure it out later. He let her go, kicking off his shoes and setting them by hers by the door, and sheds his jacket, setting it on her gaming chair before approaching her again.

"Uhh...I guess just the usual, just like...I dunno...go slower?" Suzy said, rubbing her arms and holding herself. Matt was confused and didn't feel the most comfortable. He took to grabbing her hand gently, kissing her fingers, which she quickly pulled back and made her giggle. She loved that when she asked him to go slow, it didn't dampen the mood at all.

"Take your clothes off...." he said after he pulled her into a hug, sliding his hands under her sweatshirt to help.

Suzy was already feeling better about having Matt over, even if the feelings weren't going away. His lips on her bare skin brought her goosebumps, drawing a soft hum from her throat. His hands caressing her waist to help her take her shorts off.

Once they fell to the floor, Suzy turned around to hide her front against his naked top and rough shorts. She liked looking up at him and seeing those kind eyes, ones that just felt like home away from home. His large beard that she had gotten lost in on many lazy afternoons, and probably would do it tonight if she had time.

She was focusing on his hands, where they would go next, how they would carry her into a descent to a place much more lovely and sweet- a place she was used to. She shuffled backwards, never breaking eye contact until she fell back onto her bed.

Matt grabbed a random pillow on her bed, stuffing it beneath his knees as he looked down at a blushing and anxious Suzy. He sat in his knees, still towering over her and gave her thighs a soft kneading rub down. He loved when she would relax into his touch and consumed every tentative noise she made. He wasted no time and adjusted his body lower, giving her flower cute long kisses before slowly nipping her thighs, bringing a satisfied him from her.

Suzy's legs were trembling as he massaged them, her mind still racing about Arin and Matt's hands and whether or not she fed Mochi. She felt his fingers pushing and curling so steadily and careful she felt so dirty and so free. Her hands didn't rush to grip anything just yet, she just laid her head back, letting her staggered breath and noises slip from her lips. His mouth moving just as slow on her folds made her jump a little, which she prompted him not to stop. She could feel her thoughts beginning to cloud as she thought of the first time he did this. The girl was a whole mess. She's learned to enjoy these moments. Nothing was stopping her now. The way he just knew to speed up just enough to bring her to the next level of her pleasure made Suzy wish she could live in the moment for a few days. Her legs open and seemingly small in Matt's hands, her flower wet and exposed, twitching at the outside stimulation. She was thinking of his kisses on her lips those days and nights when there wasn't much to do. The fireworks they watched and accidentally made out under. The way she came for him after an OnlyFans shoot and they laughed it off over lunch. The girl let out a long greedy moan, which caused him to change what his tongue was doing, sending her. She wanted to close her legs, her knees rising as he found the right spot and the perfect tempo. Her arousal becoming almost too much, she felt exposed s though they were being too loud in the library. She covered her mouth, feeling the pressure build and an orgasm on the horizon. He pushed her legs apart by moving up and looping his arm around one, and resting it on his shoulder, going back to his teasing now that she was locked in place. No turning back. Matt was always so focused- "once I start, I don't like stopping...I just want to warn you.. but let me know if you need a break or anything.."- he was so gentle and kind. She hadn't felt so seen, and cared after, as to say Arin didn't do his best all of the time. "Make me cum~" She whined, running her hand through his hair, "I'm ready..."

"You know that's not how you ask, but you look so good right now... so I'll give you a pass..." he brought his head up to say, thumbing over her swollen clit while he watched her plead from the slight edging. He smirked at her as he coaxed another edge. He enjoyed watching her writhe against his hold as though she might explode or fly away if he didn't have her. Suzy was spilling from the mouth after the seventh edge, begging and pleading to cum. It's the longest she's lasted since he introduced her to the idea. Ever since the first photoshoot he helped out for that had a happy ending like this one, Matt had been helping her to have better control over her sex. Giving her what she asked for and teaching her a few things along the way. She liked to say he owned her pussy for having such a keen idea on what she needs, but he always said that it's more like satisfying a girlfriend's family, and the pussy is the sister or the mother. He retracted his fingers making it the hardest edge yet, and stood up, wiping his hand on her bed, promoting her to get up by tapping her thigh. "Get into your favorite position," he said, taking his pants off in one go and avoided touching his bouncing cock. He watched as the girl got up slow, getting on her knees and reached out for his hand, which he took hers and moved him behind her, leaning back and letting him do the rest of the work of pushing in.

"Don't touch me anymore.." she started timidly, "Just choke me until I tap out...please.."

"You sure?" He asks, giving light thrusts to get her used to the size, holding her waist and kissing her neck and shoulder as he found a rhythm.

"Yes baby...I need you to make me cum as hard as I can..." she mentioned between slutty moans as he steadily raised his speed, creeping a hand between her breasts and gripping her throat just hard enough to limit airflow and allow her to talk. The girl became a need of loud moans and soft screams as her orgasms run through her body. Suzy burst with pleasure, Matt not halting his thrusts as he was instructed, her eyes rolling back as the results of Matt's hard work ran down her leg and splashed against the bed. Her embarrassment crept up as she tapped his hand gripping her neck and he released, allowing her to try and close her legs although she was still getting pounded with both of his hands on her thighs to keep her from falling. Her moans changed as he finally got her spot dead on and begged him not to stop, another orgasm washing over her.

"You like cumming like this don't you?" He asked, his voice gruff as he was nearing his own orgasm.

"Yes, yes I do... fuck I-I think I'm gonna cum again~" She gasped.

"That's right baby... cum for me... you're doing so good... you want me to cum too?" He asked already feeling it coming on.

"Fuck, fuck just cum fuck... please cum for me baby~," she moaned quickly.

Matt gripped her hips tighter as his orgasm rose and bubbled over, hearing Suzy's crying out, falling against his body and stroked slower until he was strong enough to pull away and allow both of them to fall back into bed, Suzy immediately cuddling up to him out of breath. They both shared a tired giggle fit before Mochi came up and rested on the foot of the bed mere inches away from the wet spot on the bed beneath their feet.

"Oh my god, Matt~... look what you made me do~"Suzy said, looking down.

"I ain't doing nothing, you were wet like that when I got here," he joked, pulling her close, kissing the top of her head, "You held out longer this time... you should call me to fix your attitude more."

"I don't think that's a good idea...I don't think I could do that everyday," she laughed.

"I bet you could... keep practicing like you have been," Matt said, shifting to sit up.

"I can't... everybody would notice-"

"Notice that you're in a better mood... you don't owe anyone an explanation..." he explained.

"I-i guess you're right.. but I just..I guess I'm self conscious about that... aren't you gonna smoke?" Suzy asked.

"Not in your room.. remember?" He replied, "Too much of a giveaway.."

"What are you gonna do after this?" She asked, tracing his chest.

"Eat something and get some sleep... figured I wasn't gonna stay long when you called me over... and speaking of calls...I think your phone rang while we were busy."

Suzy hadn't even given her phone a thought since Matt came through the door. She used her trembling legs to go to her desk and see that it was a missed call. From Arin. He left her a message and texted her that he was outside her door. Her heart sank into her chest. She felt so exposed and disgusting for letting him down.

[Text: ARIN] I HEAR SOMETHING STRANGE COMING FROM YOUR ROOM 👀👀👀

[Text: ARIN] Uhhh i think you're watching porn ill come back later lol

[Text: ARIN] Sorry for not getting back to you sooner I guess

[Text: ARIN] Have a good night, lovely! 🥰

"What's wrong?" Matt asked, trying to respectfully stare at her back, "Arin try to come by?"

"Yeah..." Suzy sighed as she still tried to figure out how to feel about nearly getting caught. It was more of the rush, the thrill of knowing he was being cucked and he didn't know it. And if she was going to compare experience, Matt had Arin beat for right now. Her mind danced about with the idea that although Arin was familiar and reminded her exactly of home, Matt made this place. This place was filled with their memories and every touch and sound that littered their dorm walls. His southern ways and the way he keeps to himself yet remains so kind and happy. She felt like he was a nice little treat she found while having another treat: Shawna. These thoughts and memories of Matt made it hard for her to concentrate on her work, and his touch made her melt faster than an ice cube in an oven.

"Yeah? Did you need to talk to him?" Matt asked, scratching his neckbeard, then smoothing it out.

"Pfft! No. He thinks i was watching porn-"

"You?.. watching porn?.. at full volume?" He asked, trying not to laugh as he put his boxers on, standing up and handing Suzy her shorts.

"I'm the only girl here. Of course, they think I'd be watching porn at full volume.. to them I'm always in my room or I'm doing something for someone else..or I'm going to class.. but since this whole lockdown and the moving, nobody's sure," she explained.

Matt understood and walked up with her shorts, "One thing I'm sure of is that it's past curfew and the doors are locked... so I can't get out until the morning," he looked at the stream setup on her desk and played with her keyboard, accidentally waking up the desktop.

Suzy took her shorts and slid them on, then realized something, "Matt."

"Yes, darling?"

He killed her when he said that. He was so cool and sexy with his words, it matched his touch.

"Where are my panties?" She asked biting her lip, she turned to him.

"Answer my question first," he replied with a dark smirk, "You on birth control?"

"I'm fine...I take care of all of that, so just know before you get here, there's a lot of work being done to keep me safe," she said proudly.

"Safe and not pregnant are two different things at this school. Yeah nobody's passing around chlamydia, but girls do get pregnant around here... that's what I was told," Matt said wrapping his arms around her exposed midsection and rocking her back and forth. Suzy was so welcoming to the touch but it made her nervous that he was trying to lead onto something. He wasn't suggesting that she gets pregnant, but that he's noticed it hasn't been a concern for her.

"You believe everyone who tells you something? Especially here?" She leaned against him, absorbing his scent.

"Not always but I feel like you getting pregnant would draw a lot of attention to you that you're not ready for-"

"I'm not stupid, Matt. I may be sick sometimes, but I wouldn't risk everything because I didn't take my pill," she bit back, she didn't mean to be so aggressive, but he gave her confidence she never knew she had, "I should make you shower for coming in from the outside, putting me at risk like this."

"Oh trust me, I have condoms, but you've never brought it up and you told me yourself you're not quite worried..I just never asked what you were doing on your end," Matt said kissing her neck.

It did surprise her how this little funny fake fight to so long to happen. The fact that he was able to bring her to reality, without ruining anything. The kisses on her neck gave her goosebumps, and she could feel his hands hold her waist, then turn her around as she placed her phone back on her desk. She faced him and allowed herself to be pulled into another kiss before he walked away, and she just wanted to pull him back in.

"Answer my question," Suzy said, trying to keep her composure.

"Ask away sweetheart," he said, grabbing his phone to answer a text message.

"Where did my panties go?" she asked again, "I remember having them when we started and they seem to have not only disappeared...they're not even in the place that they originally were."

"You want them back? Why do you want them so badly?" Matt asked.

Suzy thought for a second, "What? I need to earn them back?" she couldn't help the smirk on her lips.

"You might have to, but you can just ask me much nicer than that...I like how you look with no panties- is that a crime?" Matt mentioned, finding the remote and turning the TV on.

"No, but they are mine..and I don't want to find them tomorrow after you leave," Suzy said, "They belong in a hamper."

"If you crawl up here and ask as nicely as you can, then I'll tell you."

Suzy folded her arms and pouted, "I gotta suck your dick too?"

"Nope. Just ask me. I think we're past the sex portion of my visit," Matt grinned, throwing his hands behind his head, "Come on, you can do it.."

Suzy sighed as she trying not to laugh. He was a goofball when he wanted to be, and it was always so much fun to indulge. She sauntered over to the foot of the bed, straddling his legs, and did a sultry crawl up his lanky body, feeling his eyes following her. She didn't break eye contact and was feeling so dirty as he devoured her figure. "Matthew," she asked with a much lighter and cuter voice.

"Yes, pumpkin?" he asked, cupping a hand on her face and caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"Can I please have my panties back...sir?" she sat up on her knees.

Matt smirked, trying not to laugh at how committed they were to their jokes and fun. He took in her body before him, every curve softened by the low stream lights in the room. Her aesthetic made him want to take pictures and short clips of her movements. He wanted to study her as a muse. He bit his lip as he gave her one more glance, "They're under the bed, in one of your shoes..I think it's your chucks."

The girl sat back with a look of disbelief, "Seriously?..How'd they get in there?" she dropped her voice act and sat on his legs.

"I put them there. You're too busy getting head to watch me stuff them in there..but then I stuffed you so I think it's even-"

"That is not even!" she laughed, pushing his chest playfully.

"You don't think so?" he laughed back.

"No~ you're not allowed to use sex as a veil of mischief. That's super sneaky.."

"I was in here- you snuck me in here- right? Your dude comes looking for you and he thinks you're watching porn..and you're gonna let him believe that and you're telling me that I'm sneaky..you have no grounds to tell me that I'm being sneaky. I'm trapped here until morning because of you-"

"Well the window's right there! You're welcome to leave anytime you want," Suzy said, picking up a pillow and hitting him with it.

"Ah~ now you're abusing me..get off me!" Matt tried to dodge her strike but took the soft hit.

"No I will not get off you," Suzy said, "Not until you take it back."

"You can ride my dick, I'm not taking it back..I call them like I see them," Matt folded his arms.

"In your dreams, Matthew Brian," she said, "You're sneaky too."

"I'm only sneaky because everyone in this house wants my head on a spit. You just want extra attention," Matt said, placing his hands on her thighs, which sent a shock through her, "Such a shame, too..You're already not wearing panties-"

"Because you told me to take them off!"

"Because you sent me a text."

"That's not important. If you were doing anything you would have come over anyway."

"I'll come over for you," he said sweetly. Suzy's heart couldn't handle him sometimes and cursed him for being so sweet and just being a general-

"You're a boob," she said trying to contain her big smile and a blush.

"Aww I think someone liked what I said~" he teased her.

"It's not..what you said..It's how you said it..." she whined.

#matt #suzy #for tatyln #with love

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bogariel-frogariel · 4 years

Text

Taking A Breather

Adaine ducks out of a party to get a breather. She’s not the only one that needed a break from everyone.

Introducing my OC.

Find it here on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25262344

Tell me if you want more.

----

Adaine was getting bored.

She hadn't even wanted to go to this party.

However, when your sister helps cause a revolution and a complete restructure of a government's systems, inadvertently landing herself as one of the four newly elected Queens of Fallinel, you kind of need to attend a few formal social events.

That, combined with the fact that ever since she'd turned seventeen, she had been receiving many more inquiries and requests from various governments and magical institutions throughout Spyre, asking for her to act in her role as the Oracle meant that Adaine's calendar was much more full than she'd ever anticipated it being two years ago before she started high school.

Her face was starting to hurt from the polite smile she'd needed to wear for what was dawning on two hours now as she talked to politicians and important religious and magical figures from High Court, Solace and Fallinel at the banquette formally celebrating the renewed alliance between the three nations.

She knew she couldn't retreat to the library, even though she had been itching to explore it all day. The old elven castle the party was in was thousands of years old, perhaps millennia. However, Aelwyn had asked her to (told her to, really) not go into the library during the party. Adaine knew this was important to her sister, and they had both been trying really hard to be better sisters over the past year, so she'd agreed.

Besides, she could join Ayda (and by extension Fig) in the library tomorrow.

But she just really needed to escape right now.

Riz wasn't here, off at work, Gorgug and Zelda had (surprisingly) snuck off somewhere an hour ago, Fig and Ayda were (as previously stated) in the library, Rag was flirting with an elf (Adaine recognised as Queen Amara's twin brother), Fabian was sticking close to her sister, who was surrounded by a crowd of admirers, and Kristen had (unsurprisingly) slipped away from the party with Tracker an hour ago. They had barely left each other alone since they'd reunited four weeks ago after months apart, since the werewolf had also been instrumental in the revolution, and was now toting the title of High Priestess of Galicaea.

She just needed a few minutes to recharge, away from people.

So, Adaine ducked into the first narrow, shadowy corridor that she found.

For a moment, she allowed herself to sag in relief at finally, finally being alone. However, she turned a little more and froze, suddenly glimpsing someone sitting on the floor, poking their out from a blanket, which they'd thrown over their head.

The person stood up and both of them stood, staring at each other for a few seconds.

The first thing that Adaine registered was the fact that the girl (or so Adaine thought, but living with Kristen had meant that she'd learnt to make sure she got confirmation anyway) had not, in fact, been wearing a blanket, but had curled her wings in front of her. Her brilliantly black wings. As Adaine stared at her, she saw little white dotes flicker to life across the wings, quickly joined by some dark purple swirls, making them look like a picture from space.

"Umm…" she girl said and Adaine tore her eyes away from her wings and looked at her face properly.

The girl had dark skin, fine pointed ears that spoke of elven ancestry, and wavy, brilliantly white-silver hair that contrasted against her dark purple eyes that were rimmed with a sparkling gold. Adaine's heart hammered against her chest.

She was snapped out of her reverie when the girl tucked a book into the folds of her midnight blue gown.

She stuck her hand out to the girl.

"Hello, my name is Adaine Abernant, my pronouns are she/her."

Kristen would be so proud. A month ago, she'd spent a week making them practice the greetings whenever they entered a room she was in.

The girl blinked at Adaine for a second, her eyes widening. Adaine cringed internally. She didn't know how she would take more gushing or ass kissing.

However, after a second, the girl took her hand.

"I'm Rhaezella Starkterian, my pronouns are also she/her. Pleasure to meet you."

Adaine immediately recognised the name. "You're Queen Amara's sister."

She winced when Rhaezella pursed her lips. "Sorry."

The girl waved her off. "That's fine. You'll forgive me for acknowledging that you're the Oracle then, Princess."

Adaine couldn't stop her scowl at the second title and Rhaezella smirked.

"Yes. It's kind of ridiculous that we get those titles just because of our sister."

Adaine rolled her eyes. "And we have to keep them for the rest of our lives, even after they get voted out in fifty years."

Rhaezella snorted. "I think they were trying to prank us."

Adaine shared a grin with the girl. "So, you're looking for a refuge as well?"

Rhaezella sighed. "Sick of people trying to earn my favour."

Adaine nodded, her brain finally starting to work properly as she realised she remembered the name from more than just the queen.

"You're about to be tested for Archmage, right?"

Similar to the Oracle title, the Archmage was a life-long title given to a prominent and powerful magic user, who would work as a sort of anchor for magic to redistribute throughout Spyre. Whilst the Oracle looked to the future, the Archmage took care of the present, helping stabilise the magic in the planet's core, which was liable to become unstable without a living being to ground it. However, instead of automatically passing on automatically, the title was passed on when a suitable candidate came into contact with a jewel at the base of the Mountains of Chaos.

Fig had been asked to try for the position a few months ago, but the giant amethyst hadn't reacted to her touch.

Adaine supposed, with travel between nations becoming easier than it was a millennia ago, when Archmage candidates had to quest to find the previously unmapped location, the jewel could afford to be picky.

Rhaezella grimaced. "Yes. Being one of the few still living demigods has its perks I guess."

Adaine nodded awkwardly. She'd heard the story of the elfling who had one day sprouted wings and then been snatched into the Outer Planes by the gods moments later, only to then be imprisoned by the Elven government when she finally escaped her captivity by the gods years later.

Demigods were usually either taken by the gods (who had all seemed to dislike other gods having progeny on the mortal plane) or taken advantage of by governments seeking their power.

Being Archmage was really the safest position for her.

Personally, Adaine found it ironic that devils were nicer to their children than the gods.

"Umm… I like your dress… and your hair," the girl stuttered, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them.

Adaine felt her cheeks heat up and her heart stuttered. She tucked her hair behind her ear self-consciously. She had allowed it to grow out over the last year, not bothering to cut it anymore like her parents had always made her. She knew it was very stereotypical of her, to have almost waste length hair; and that having such long hair had fallen out of style centuries ago, but it felt like rebellion against her mother, and Aelwyn had encouraged her when she'd voiced the idea.

She'd probably have to cut it soon though. It could be terribly annoying on adventures. Although, it did feel rather nice when she let others braid it.

She bunched her other hand up in her silky dress that was rather tight to her to her thighs fanning out from there. Aelwyn and Fig had pulled it out of the store because they had never seen her wear something like that before. She'd agreed to it for its colour; which was a blue so pale it was almost silver.

"Thank you," she muttered, before stammering, "Umm… I like your -" everything, everything looked pretty, "hair as well. The waves are really pretty."

"And your snake," she added with some shock as a black serpent appeared over the girl's shoulder. Adaine hadn't noticed it coiled around her waist.

Rhaezella pet the snake absentmindedly. "Her name is Cerridwen. They were a gift from my mother. My godly one. She's a shape shifter - nothing my mum makes is really… one thing. It comes with being the goddess of chaos and magic with no church. There are too many magic users and people so they are always… changing. But I love my familiar. She… helps when it gets too much."

Adaine grinned, pulling Boggy out of the purse that was slunk over her shoulder.

"I have a familiar as well. His name is Bogariel Frogariel. Or, Boggy the Froggy."

Rhaezella laughed and Adaine hugged Boggy close.

"I used a spell to summon him, so he can also change forms. He helps me with my anxiety."

Adaine had a moment of panic after she said that. She'd gotten too personal too soon.

However, Rhaezella just nodded in understanding. "I got Cerridwen before I was formally diagnosed, but my therapist says they help me."

Rhaezella she grimaced, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. "My sister just messaged me."

Adaine winced sympathetically.

Rhaezella sighed, smoothing out her skirt. Suddenly, Adaine didn't really want to be alone anymore.

"Why don't we go out there together?"

The girl glanced up, furrowing her eyebrows. "You don’t want to escape the party? I won't tell on you."

Adaine smiled. "Nah. It's alright. I'd rather have someone I like to talk to, even if I have to deal with everyone else."

Rhaezella beamed at her. "I would like that too."

The demigod gestured down the corridor. "Shall we then?"

Adaine nodded and started walking.

As they emerged into the light, she glanced to her side. It would be better if they were talking. It would discourage at least some of the vultures.

"What book were you reading."

Rhaezella blushed. "I'll only tell you if you promise not to tell any of the queens. I was meant to stay out of the library."

"So I brought some of it with you," Adaine said with a grin. "And deal."

She made a note to wear a dress with a large skirt and pockets at the next one of these functions.

However, as she launched into an animated discussion with Rhaezella that lasted almost the whole night, resuming whenever they were left alone, she thought she might not need to.

#dimension 20: fantasy high #dimension 20 #adaine fantasy high #fantasy high #fantasy high fanfic #dimension 20 fanfiction #adaine abernant #my oc

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