#your views may not reflect that unless you put in the work
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"regular self-reflection and critical examination of one's views/beliefs is important, actually"
a line oft paraded through large parts of the Internet without any explanation, justification, or example.
I had one this morning. let's talk transhumanism
I believe in what transhumanism says; its points on humanity not being tied to one's flesh body (or natal one for that matter - see trans-related healthcare as well as cosmetic surgeries) and its point that what we ascribe to humanity may not even be that. there's the idea that it's not 'humanity' which matters, but rights to freedom and expression, and building a society that supports the needs of its members. compassion and empathy aren't even human-only rraits - plenty of animals, particularly other mammals, show these among their own species and in their interactions with humans.
the point is, I ascribe to these views, to the main points transhumanism makes. I believe the use of artificial limbs and organs etc. to be a good thing for those who want or need it. having prosthetics does not erase a disability so much as aid a person with it, nor do they take away from that individual as a person. the same applies to internal organs and implants. it applies to cosmetics and choosing to augment one's flesh body with new capabilities.
okay, so what's the issue? where do I fall down?
myself. I'm a creative, I work in the field of the arts. creative disciplines mix one's capability to create and express with one's skills in the instruments and media to do so.
now, theoretically, I could enhance myself with greater accuracy and the capability to consistently replicate certain movements. I could give myself a greater ability to communicate with my peers and to learn new skills. I could enhance my reactions and my ability to process the medium I work in. with the great effort and time it takes to develop both the skills and the language to express one's creativity, it feels a little like cheating to throw money at the problem by upgrading myself.
I don't know why it does when using these upgrades would be a learning process and when there would now be new limits against which to push. I don't know why when upgrading ones skill capabilities doesn't upgrade ones creativity - the best artist is not the one with the fanciest skills, but the one with the greater power of expression. the best musician is not the one with the most chops, but the one who can make you feel the most.
I also would not be against others getting augments to improve their craft, but I may well be jealous if any are in my field. and I don't know why because I'm not jealous of those in my field who are my age or younger and already better, of those with once-in-a-lifetime talent, of those who are just simply further along than I.
clearly this is illogical. clearly this is something I need to work through. even I know it makes little sense.
and this is why self-reflection is important - to find the inconsistencies in one's views; to find hidden prejudices
I support transhumanism, but clearly I have some work to do
#daemon.md#transhumanism#cybernetics#self-reflection#self-crit#no matter how radical you believe yourself#your views may not reflect that unless you put in the work
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John Price; Drop Everything Now.
Part 2
CW: PTSD, Songfic inspired by "Sparks Fly" (Not in a cringe way I promise)
GN!Reader who is a sergeant on TF141. WC: 2,262
AN: I needed to post this before I completely tore it apart (again) and decided to scrap it. LMK if you'd like a part two because I have a good chunk of it but unsure if I'd like to continue this since I want the PTSD to linger and not be just diminished because reader is love of his life (I'd like to at least try to have some realism, rip). This was actually created for a test run of writing PTSD so I am happy to take any constructive criticism or tips for writing it. Hope you enjoy!
Being stationed in the Middle East meant that you weren't used to much besides the hot sun baring down on every activity you did and dust storms that would blow over, which effectively made you shut your mouth to not breathe in the dirt. However, that didn’t mean that Mother Nature would not bless the dry lands with an ounce of rain every once in a while.
You wouldn’t know about the rain usually unless you were outside training or on a mission when the dark clouds would roll in, giving you a rare break from the sun. Other times, the clouds would cover the stars and moon in the night sky, but you wouldn't be able to tell just what kind of clouds they were.
And that, unfortunately, is how tonight is going without your knowledge.
The rain was never an issue on base, its greatest hindrance being the lack of vision, the annoyance of getting wet, and the general time it would take to wait it out. However, there was always the unspoken thought of the thunderstorms that could arise.
You’ve served two years within TF141 as a sergeant, having been recruited and transferred to be on base under Price’s command. Now having some experience under your belt, you’ve seen a thing or two- but nothing compared to your superiors.
From an external point of view and reflection on yourself, it brings a possibility that your mind has yet to realize if the memories are getting trapped within yourself. Your nervous system may have gotten stuck in the past at a few points in time, but while you remain living in the action, your biggest symptom is nightmares and anxiety that you brush off each time.
The same can’t be said for your Captain.
Price, with his two decades of service, has lived through more than you could ever imagine and things he wishes to not recall. He plays the classic tough guy act, brushing his emotions off as something he can deal with when he’s home and not deployed- nor does he want to even believe they are necessary to process, his ways still being a bit old-fashioned.
When you were recruited, his viewpoint shifted a bit. Price wasn’t sure that you would be a good fit within the team, and debated putting you on a platoon further down the branch that he still oversaw from time to time. Yet, during your grace period, he would check up on you- being sure to debrief with you after long days of training exercises or drills that were getting harder and harder. When you had proven your worth to him and the team, an unspoken agreement between you two was formed. You would casually reside in his presence but keep it under the notion of him offering guidance to the rookie. This often resulted in you filling out reports or paperwork on your laptop in his office while he worked at his desk.
Price was not a sharer of his inner turmoil. But, sometimes, you would confide in him and he would allow a sliver of a softer man to peak out in the late hours of the night.
That's how the deeper part of your relationship worked with him. Hard-ass by day, and a mildly reserved man by late night. You’re close with the entirety of the team, but you’ve always had an attraction to Price, classically never trying to show it or verbalize it to anyone. Yet, you had a good hunch that he already knew from your softened behavior towards him when the veil of superior and subordinate came down to friends in the dark glow of his office.
You knew it was a bad idea to ever indulge yourself in having his attention and reciprocating it, but now you over-indulged for the last year and find yourself with a cavity at the sweetness you suck from his words. Your mind is always left in a trance on any touch he unknowingly spoiled you with; a hand to the small of your back, adjusting your elbows if you were using a heavier loadout during training, or a pat on the head after a job well done.
Tonight, the storm rolls in with thunder chasing right behind it.
It's late in the evening as you stand in the common room, having had dinner late, and washing the dishes while quietly humming to yourself. The subconscious part of your mind notices the flashes of lightning and deep thunder that penetrate the barriers of the base but leaving it as a non-threat. You wash your dinner plate, moving the sponge around, but before you can put the plate down to dry, your phone rings with a call from Price.
It's not unusual for him to call when he decides he’d like your presence while completing paperwork, yet your eyebrows furrow as you see the time to be later in the night than his usual request.
Before you can even speak into the phone after answering, your ear is polluted with the sound of his ragged breaths; the sound of rain hitting the ground is amplified more than what you hear while being inside. It sends a roll of skin-prickling anxiety down your spine as your eyes widen. “Price?” You ask after a blink, trying to understand what this call could be.
You hear it when he speaks, a tremor in the back of his throat and you can imagine the adrenaline-crazed look on his face. The sound of your name is called from him, and it almost sounds questioning, as if he isn't sure it's you, even though he called.
“I- I don’t know where I am…” He pants out, sounding choked up, trying to swallow air and the lack of saliva in his throat while in the pouring rain.
Drop everything now
Without a second thought, you drop the plate, the clatter of it breaking once hitting the ground echoes in the common room and snaps everyone's attention on you. Not having any need for apologies or reason, your body is already supplying the adrenaline needed to set into a dead sprint out of the common room as you weave past the other bodies to push through the hallway and enter the stairwell with the clamor of the metal doors swinging open.
“John, where are you- tell me what you see.” You call out as your body gets set on autopilot, practically flying down the stairs of the barracks and onto the ground floor moving into the hallways. “Do you see the training yard or do you see a road?” You pant out while pushing to find the exit door of the base.
It's here and now, that you now actively recognize the roll and clap of thunder as if it's taunting you to hurry up and find Price before it does.
But it seems it already has.
Each door, person, and corner you pass feels like a deliberate obstacle, frustrating you as you try to get outside faster.
“I- I see a road and the-” He’s interrupted by a bright flash, a strong shake of thunder following right after, and you hear him grunt in aggravation at the sound he lacks control over. With a call of your name, he makes a quiet plea. “Please, I need you here. Now.” He manages to ground out with a sharp breath, causing you to almost second guess yourself at what he said.
You bank a hard left, towards the East entrance, finding the door to take you outside towards the main road that leads to the base's entrance. Shouldering the large door, you grit your teeth while taking the metal harshly against yourself, but almost come to a halt when you feel the pouring rain pelt on your body.
Meet me in the pouring rain
“Please.” His voice shakes again through the phone, and the rasp from his panting re-escalates the adrenaline through your body.
It breaks your heart to hear him sound like this as if he’s succumbing to his demons. “John, I’m gonna find you but you need to help me, ok?” You ask as your legs begin to burn from the force that you run through the damp earth with. “-you see the flag pole? ” You bark out while another flash of lightning crosses the sky, closing your eyes as you wince. “Hey- listen to me, focus on me.” You command, praying that he isn’t locked inside his memories.
After a moment, “Y- Yes, I see it. The- the rains comin’ down hard- won't fucking stop.”
The shake in his voice is back; he’s shivering and his irritability is beginning to build up faster as it makes itself evident the longer he stays held within the turmoil of his nervous system.
Running and finally entering the main yard after having had to cut through the detached buildings to make it to the front, you place your free hand over your eyes to try and gain some semblance of visibility while the flashes of lightning aid for a moment.
“Meet me there. It’ll be just you and me, only us.” You pleaded with a hint of firmness, needing to direct him as you move with haste towards the lit flagpole, the light being a beacon through the pelting rain.
While running in the dark and wet ground, you lose footing and slide your foot into loose gravel; your right elbow is now scraped while you clatter to the ground with a “Fuck-” Your voice breaks through the night air, as your yelp of pain staccatos out in the silence between the flash of light and complimenting rumble of thunder.
In a moment before you can stand up, you hear your name being yelled out, whipping your head up in response. The raw tenacity of his voice through the thrumming of rainfall hits when there is no other force of the storm that can distract either of you.
Your gazes find each other; he looks frozen for a moment, then immediately runs to you.
“John-“ falls past your lips in a cry when you spot him. His fatigues stick to his body, his hair wet and bucket hat long gone. Making his way hurriedly, his body slows with unexpected grace as he helps you to your feet. Almost as if in a hurried frenzy, you latch onto him by his arms, blinking through the falling rain as you look up and search his face.
The expression he wears, as he makes sure you’re alright, contradicts the voice he had just seconds earlier; his eyebrows furrowed with worry as he checks over you, quickly placing his large hands on your ribs to stand you upright as if you are a toddler who has just taken a tumble.
“Bloody- You alrigh’ sweetheart?” He asks as the warmth of his panting breath fans across your face while pulling you up against him.
“I’m ok, I just slipped from the rain. Thank you.” You speak while still holding him tight, latching onto him. Your heart aches at seeing him care for you no matter where his mind places him, always putting others before himself.
John nods, letting out a small sigh. The feeling of your warmth against his chest brings him back down as he looks over you, trying to blink the anxiety and rain from his eyes. The feeling of his hands, cold and now gentle, glides up to move the wet hair from your eyes. It surprises you for a moment as he stays completely silent besides the tremoring breaths he takes.
At the silence, you let a small huff of laughter escape before closing your eyes and giving a smile in relief at having him in your sight and arms, before fluttering your eyes open to gaze up at him.
You return the gesture when you move your hand to wipe his hair off of his forehead, the rain having matted it down to his skin. “With me as I’m with you. Always with you, John.” The lull of your voice surprises both of you as it can be heard perfectly in the rain, with no sign of thunder or lightning interrupting your words.
John cups the base of your skull, looking at the raindrops that fall in small splashes and trails along your face. His eyes dilate when focused on you, the sight of him this close and his icy blue eyes keep steadfast on you, leaving a haunting mark on your memory and heart.
He moves his head down to meet yours; pausing for a moment as if he isn't sure this is real- he isn’t sure that this isn’t a dream and his mind is granting him a wish. Is this a true trick of his mind? This can't be a memory, surely-
He looks as if he’s in pain, so you take the last leap of faith for him.
The new and added warmth of his lips on yours is tender. It contrasts the rough environment of where you stand, the life you both live and the constant battles faced within. Your arms and his alike move to wrap around each other in a harsh and tight embrace.
As the raindrops fall all over both your faces, you feel as if you’re in a movie and the climax has just hit when the lovers are united.
You both are soaking wet, but neither of you seems to mind. He pulls you back into him, deepening the kiss with a determined and desperate force.
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain.
#task force 141#call of duty#captain john price#john price#john price x reader#captain jonathan price#jonathan price#cod mw2#call of duty modern warfare#captain price x reader#captain price mw2#cod price#price x reader#captain price#141
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Readmores And You - A Really Great Tumblr Feature!
(this is technically directed at stuff I've seen in a specific tag because of the content of said tag makes it more likely to spoiler things, but it applies to anyone likely learning the ins and outs of a new site. speaking of which, hello! welcome to tumblr!) (this got. longer than anticipated. apologies, I get bogged down in trying to make things as clear as possible. ^^")
I've seen this a lot recently in the VC tags especially, where the post goes something to the effect of "tw bloody animal!" then like six periods and the images of whatever dead thing the post is about.
I recognize this is probably being carried over from some other website (...reddit probably? maybe insta?) but please. I appreciate y'all so much for trying to do what you're doing. but this method of hiding pictures isn't effective on tumblr, but there is an infinitely better option!
"but why? it works fine on other sites?" firstly, a few extra lines typically don't even take up enough space on mobile (let alone desktop) to hide your pics, so even at a glance anyone is likely still seeing at least the top half of whichever picture you posted before even noticing the trigger warning on top. second, because you have to scroll all the way past the images at the bottom of your post anyway to get to the next one on your dash/in the tag/etc. so if someone comes across your post and the trigger warning is applicable as something they want to avoid, unless they have access to a keyboard to use a keybind shortcut that ive been here 12 years and still cant remember, they can't see any other posts after it without either having to scroll through the pics or outright block you. which is... not the most ideal of options I would say.
"but what else am I supposed to do then!?" I hear you ask.
READMORES!
tumblr has a wonderful feature known as a "readmore" that's built into the site! it creates a break in your post, which hides any content - be it words, images, whatever - that you place underneath it, not showing it unless the person viewing it clicks on the words "keep reading" (formerly "read more" - hence the name :D).
Cool, how do I do that?
on mobile you can place one by tapping an empty line and clicking the grey squiggle icon from the selection that allow you to insert an image/vid/link
which will place a squiggly line into the post you're making:
(desktop uses the same icon, it's just in a more compact row of icons.)
you can drag it around after placing it too, just like photos. (note: mobile can get finicky with this and it's usually just easier to remove it -click the big red X- and add it in the new place you want it.)
EDIT: some of the versions of mobile editor are broken and don't show the icons. to add it in manually type ":readmore:" (with the colons, but not the quotation marks) on its own line. Thank you for the reminder, LovingTogetic!
this is also a nice way to keep your blog tidy and not swamped in long and/or spoilery posts (say if you're posting 5k word fics, or extensive meta, or gushing over the ending of the latest game or TV show most people probably haven't seen yet)! it's not required, obviously, but it's generally considered a common courtesy for others that will be seeing your post cross their dashboard.
finally, an example of the readmore in action:
(ta-da!)
have fun out there y'all, I hope this is helpful ^^
as an aside (I wasn't sure where to put this but under the break seemed appropriate), you may also see a lot of personal/vent posts be fully under readmores as well, even if the post is only a sentence or two long. this is mostly so followers don't necessarily see it unless they specifically click, but there's a more frustrating history to it becoming a thing: when a post is reblogged, any content above the break is permanently frozen as it existed at the time, but anything under it will reflect edits made to the post. while not common, a certain type of user sometimes browse the various "do not rb" tags and will purposefully reblog personal posts in order to upset and distress the users. putting those things under a readmore make it so even if that happens, the text can be deleted from all iterations of the post. recently the site rolled out an option to lock a post to reblogs, but you gotta mess with the settings and it's mostly a habit after a decade here dealing with the nonsense.
#tumblr guide#hope it's okay to tag i'll remove if asked but#vulture culture#how to#tumblr how to#readmores#tumblr how-to
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Hi! If I may, this is not about Widderwood, but the way you talked about witchcraft in a recent answer, "Real world witchcraft is literally just moving with intention and cause & effect" and "it helps with being delibreate with my life": seems quite interesting, but would you care to elaborate, if you wish and have time? Or is there a previous post here or somewhere else where you already talked about your view on witch spirituality? Sorry if I bother, obviously you're free to not answer and ignore this message if it's too personal or annoying. Thank you for sharing your art and world!
Yeah I'll try to explain. Unfortunately when people hear magic or witchcraft they of the media fantasy version of witchcraft or whatever when that's not what it is at all. It's just like any religion in that it focuses on cultivating life morals, cause & effect (praying to a God for blessings is similar!), and can be utilized by less than great people for power and control over others.
Witchcraft varies greatly by culture and even the person, but I can only speak from European centric stuff and my own practice. For background, I've followed my own path since I was around 12 with no guidance from others.
Spells work by focusing intention. You want x, so you create a small ritual that helps to focus on the task and what you really want and how to get to that point, like any goal setting. Often rituals are repeated for greater power to achieve a result- just like a habit. Spiritually speaking, the reasoning is often considered that everything has an energy, and this energy can be manipulated, or that there are God(s) at work. Psychology speaking, these rituals simply help you realize what you actually want to work toward and give you the gumption to go for it. For both, it's commonly believed that spells won't work unless you put in the actual, real effort to work toward a goal- and that is part of the magic. It is the act of creation. And failure is just as likely, especially if you don't plan for it or are unrealistic. You can't make someone love you or win 1 mil, but you do have the power to be kind to others and better your finances by education or similar opportunities... and even if you fail anyway, there is always something you learn from it. You just have to be intentional.
I fully believe you don't have to believe in God's or ghosts or anything to do witchcraft. The fact it works to better our lives- even if it really is just in our brains at the end of the day- is enough. And just like how people has historically leaned on a Christian God to get through times of hardship- that's what I use it for. To better myself, to realize what I want to work toward in life, and to make a conscious effort toward it. It isn't a replacement for professional help, but the addition of witchcraft has significantly helped me in my own mental health, continued betterment as a person, and appreciate living.
Tarot cards are similar. They assume fortune telling = fate, which imo is wrong. Some people think theyre demonic, some think theyre "stupid" because of the connection to spirituality, and some people consider them too serious and scary, but like all tools you have to use them right, and by God do they work when you do! Tarot cards are absolutely amazing as prompts. Ask a reasonable question, get a card, and notice what emotions and thoughts come to mind immediately- you have all the answers within you, you just might not be paying attention... and Tarot works as a surrogate third party to reflect and help you pay attention to what you really feel. Witchcraft rituals all work essentially the same way.
There's also more woo-woo centric things like ghosts and fae and such. I personally am on the fence on it all but "believe just in case" lol. I've experienced many paranormal things but also know it could be caused by my autism, trauma, or whatever else. But it isn't hurting me or anyone else.. so it doesn't matter!
This is all a ramble and probably hard to understand if you aren't already very familiar with these kind of eccentric things. I work with a lot of chemistry so I've personally noticed how close witchcraft things are to science and even therapy- and likewise how a lot of past beliefs of magic were actually just yet unexplained science & medicine.
At the end of the day, I know everything may be an illusion from my various ailments and perspective. But that's perfectly okay, because it has done nothing but make me happier, more emotionally strong, and helped me focus to better my life and relationships. It's made me a much better, intelligent person and is the perfect fit for my life, though it may not be for everyone. Our variance, weirdness, and mysteries are the beauty of being alive.
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
How do you get over a painful breakup?
Before we get into that, let's look a bit closer at the term "get over" here. The end of a romantic relationship is comparable to any other kind of loss, in the sense that you are grieving something.
It may feel strange to talk about loss and grief as they are still alive. But loss doesn't necessarily mean death: You lost your partner. They no longer exist in the role they used to play in your life.
You may also feel like you lost yourself as you no longer exist in the role of their partner, either. You may grieve your sense of identity or purpose or stability that was connected to this role.
The reason I point this out is that the term "getting over" can make it sound like something that should be quick, easy and painless. You press some button and then you are over it. The term grief reflects much better that it's a healing journey. This journey takes time, patience and self-compassion.
It also better reflects that the goal is not to completely forget that this person ever existed or to become "your old self" (before you ever met them) again. It's not only about accepting that this chapter ended - it's about finding a place for it in the story of your life.
This is where we can go into more concrete advice:
Write that chapter down. The exact format (and content!) is up to you as every break-up is different. You may want to write down a (short) summary of the relationship, including the end, from your point of view or as a completely neutral narrator. You may want to write it as a "letter I'll never send" type of thing where you ask them all the questions that are running through your head (just be careful that you actually never send it. Do not write it anywhere you could accidentally hit "send"!). You may want to write down your feelings diary-style and make it a daily/weekly practice. You may want to write a "Red flag list" with all the reasons you two weren't a good match.... Whatever works for you!
Allow yourself to feel the "ugly stuff". Give yourself time to cry and feel sorry for yourself - or to get angry and think mean things about your former partner! Cry in your ice-cream or punch the stupid pillow they gave you on Valentine's Day. Both, even at the same time, is okay. You can't heal without allowing yourself to feel first. (Just don't call them while crying and don't punch them, okay?)
The last two pieces of advice were all about getting it out of your system and clearing your head. These are important first steps when the wound is still fresh - but do not confuse them with "endlessly ruminating on it". It is important to make sure you don't get stuck in that stage. Give yourself a chance to accept that it's over: Take those couple pictures off the walls and put away the gifts and letters. You don't need to throw them all away unless you want to, just get them out of sight for now. Unfollow them on social media (and please do not scroll through their pics to find a sign of an affair or a new partner. Even if you found one, it'll only make you feel worse.). Go to a different coffee shop, for now, so you don't keep reminiscing about your first date there. All of this is not about forever deleting those memories, it's just about creating the necessary distance for you to work through your feelings.
On the topic of distance: Even if you hope to stay friends, don't jump right into going on "friend dates" if you are grieving the romantic relationship. Go some time without texting, calling or meeting up with them. Chances are that you would just get your hopes up that the friend-date will turn romantic and get hurt all over again when it doesn't.
After feeling your feelings and creating distance, you may (at your own pace) slowly feel ready to adapt to - and create - your new chapter. This can mean tapping back into old hobbies or trying out new things. Was there anything you neglected or missed during the relationship that you would like to spend more time on now? Is there something you always wanted to do but knew your partner wouldn't like it? What did you learn from this relationship that you'd like to explore more in-depth now? Which positive aspects of the relationship can you carry on into the new chapter? Asking yourself questions like that can help you see that this is not only the end of something, it's also a fresh start!
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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Golden Arrows: Nathan Drake x Reader
Anonymous Request: “You got home from work, you got voicemail from your friend, you were invited to wedding for tomorrow as a guest. Next day, you put your emerald satin strappy maxi dress, necklace, and short heel sandals and also wavy hair. you get in church, it was so lovely, very crowded, you walks as you bump into someone, who is wearing a suit, you never met him before. You clear your throat as you may have seat as he maybe could be besides you, after that you went to wedding reception, just drink a bit of glass of champagne, just look at view. Suddenly he came in to you, you two talks a lots at each other, you never met someone like him who is funny, charming and optimistic, then he take you home just as you thought it would”
Summary: 6.2k wc, reader attends an event that Nathan Drake (Nate) happens to be at as well but for a very different reason. What happens when the reader finds herself falling for Nate but he is there to steal an item from the reader?
Thank you my lovely little anon for your request! I tried to combine all the aspects you requested and kinda went way over haha.
Warnings: suggestive (but no smut), a few curse words, mentions of alcohol, stealing.
P.s. This is NOT thoroughly proofread as I am about to board my plane but wanted to post it first!
✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
y/f/n: your friend’s name
y/f/e: your friend’s ex’s name
y/n/n: your nickname
and as always y/n: your name
✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿
Dropping my keys into the coffee table, I slump into the leather couch and sigh. It’s been a long week, but at least tomorrow is the weekend and I’ll have time off. I sluggishly pull my phone out of my pocket and notice a missed call and voicemail from y/f/n. As exhausted as I am, I know I should listen as she doesn’t call unless it’s serious.
“Y/n! You’re going to y/f/e’s wedding with me tomorrow! I ran into him today and was invited with a plus one. I can’t show up alone but don’t have time for a date! Plus I’ll need emotional support, no arguments! I’ll pick you up at 3!” Y/f/n screams over voicemail. I sigh and run my hands through my hair.
Y/f/n has gotten me out of many uncomfortable situations before, at least now I can finally return the favor. That’s not to say I’m excited, I’d much rather stay home and rest. Accepting my fate, I get up and prepare my outfit for tomorrow.
I settle on the best, yet also most revealing dress in my closet, a pair of 1 inch heels, and a set of golden accessories including my late mother’s golden arrow necklace. After setting the outfit out on my bed in front of me, I smile approvingly. I might as well make the most of the night, and maybe get some free drinks.
The lighting in the restroom is reflecting mesmerizingly off my spaghetti-strapped, vibrant silk dress that is dyed a deep emerald color. I take a moment to look at myself in the mirror. My dress has a plunging neckline, a bodycon-like waist, and an elegant yet sultry cut up the right leg. The whole dress stops a few inches off the ground, just short enough to show off my gold 1 inch open heel sandals, and freshly painted emerald toenails. I smirk to myself. I may not be an overly confident woman often, but today I’m feeling great about myself.
After finishing my final makeup touches, I carefully put on my mother’s necklace and the rest of my gold accessories. I smile at myself once again, loving the confidence this outfit has given me. I notice my fake lashes and cherry red lipstick make my facial features pop. My wavy hair stopping just above my shoulders.
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I roll my eyes as y/f/n continues to flirt with the older man who requested to buy her a drink when we get to the reception. The man is at least 20 years older than us. It isn’t much of a pickup line given there are free drinks even now as we mingle before taking our seats. Yet, it seems to work. “Go have fun” she says as she catches me watching her. I sigh, I came here for her, only to find myself alone.
The church for the wedding ceremony is beautiful, but it is so crowded it’s hard to even see the stained glass windows sounding the wall. The wooden pews are freshly sealed and shiny. I try to push through the crowd to get to my seat without making a scene, but unfortunately there are too many people. I bump into or rub against person after person as I progress towards my seat.
“Sorry, please -“ I say, beginning to request to pass once again as I bump into yet another attendee. However, I find my words cut short when I look up long enough to take him in. He’s my exact height, actually probably a bit taller given my heels. His gorgeous brown eyes hold a mysterious glimmer. I watch as his eyes meander over my body, slowly glancing down to my short heels and intently scanning back upwards towards my face. I bite the inside of my lip and smirk as I watch his walnut colored eyes return to mine. He instantly flushes crimson but tries to play it off by holding his hand out to me.
“I’m Nathan, but you can call me Nate” he says with this alluring voice. I take my time exploring his body with my eyes, the way he did mine. He is wearing matte black dress shoes, a midnight blue suit with matte black accents and lapels, his jacket buttoned at the bottom of his torso. Under his jacket is a white dress shirt that is firmly pressed against his chest and a black tie. I gingerly bring my eyes up to his again before letting him take my hand in his palm. His flirtatious eyes sparkle as they glance at my lips before he hangs his head to kiss the back of my hand.
“I take it you do this often?” I ask, clearing my throat and raising my eyebrow at him while shaking my head softly. “Do what?” He asks, pretending to be puzzled. I roll my eyes as I let my hand slip from his and back down to rest just above the slit in my dress. “Flirt with women at weddings” I retort, glancing around the crowded room. “Does it look like I’m talking to anyone else?” He asks, his eyes quickly taking in my mother’s necklace. “That’s not what I asked” I point out, placing my left palm against my hip as I adjust my stance.
“Hmm, well no. I don’t normally even attend weddings. After all I don’t really see the point in such a charade” he says, grabbing two glasses of champagne from the waiter walking around trying to keep people calm as we wait to be told to take our seats. “Charade?” I ask, accepting one of the champagne glasses from Nate. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend you. I’m not sure your relationship with the couple. It’s just I don’t see the point in marriage, it requires one to rely on another person so strongly and trust that they won’t abandon them or the relationship. In my experience, I don’t see that being common in families or relationships so I fail to see why marriage would change that” he says, throwing back his champagne. “I can understand that perfectly. It definitely makes it harder when your trust and emotions are wrapped up in someone else’s presence in your life” I agree, sipping on my drink as I feel the weight of my mother’s golden necklace weigh down on my neck as if hearing our conversation.
I sense Nate’s eyes examining said necklace as though he knew the connection it has to my statement. Not caring to talk about my mother or her necklace, I finish my champagne in one gulp. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I should get to my seat” I say, handing him the glass and stepping to his left to pass. “Wait!” He says, turning and delicately grasping my wrist. I don’t turn around but instead turn my neck over my shoulder to look at him. He is biting his lip and staring at me. “Yes?” I ask, turning my body a bit more towards him. “You never told me your name” Nate answers.
I nod twice, “Y/N”. He smiles wide enough to show his snowy white teeth. I can’t help but smile back. He opens his mouth appearing to want to say something before he quickly raises his hand to scratch his right inner ear and sighs. “Well, I’ll see you around” I say, not sure what more there is to do and begin to walk to my seat. “I know… I know” I hear Nate mumble softly. “I couldn’t quite make that out. What was that?” I ask, turning around as he interrupts my approach yet again.
“Oh, uh.. I was just talking to myself about how I shouldn’t let you sit by yourself. Especially when you don’t care for weddings either” he says, striding closer. Not fully believing him, I anxiously take hold of my mother’s necklace and run my finger absentmindedly over the intricate carvings along the arrow charm. She never told me where she got it, always saying I was too young to hear the story, but I know it was her favorite necklace.
When she went on another work trip to some other country, she decided I was old enough to keep it safe until she returned. Granted I still wasn’t old enough to be told anything about the necklace, but at least she had begun to trust me with it. She had placed it cautiously around my neck when we said our goodbyes 7 years ago. That was the last time I saw or heard from her, or even about her until her coworker showed up and told me she died on the work trip. Once again, I was not told anything more about what happened, where the trip was, or even what it is my mom does for work.
“Umm thank you, but I’m actually sitting wi-“ I begin as I come back to my senses and face y/f/n but she has her eyes locked on me and is signaling behind Nate’s back to sit with him. “Actually, sure” I say, rubbing the engravings once more before letting go of the necklace and letting it lay against my chest once again. He smiles and holds his hand out for me. I feel my cheeks flush and politely accept his direction and assistance even though I don’t need it.
“See, told you” Nate snickers, his arm draped over my shoulder as he points to the aisle next to me. Just as he predicted, the bridesmaids are wearing horrendously vibrant pink dresses with cheap chunky jewels and sequins. I bite my lip to not laugh loudly, instead letting a small giggle escape. I turn to face him and we hold eye contact for awhile as he smiles at me, his arm still behind my neck.
“Woah she looks beautiful!” I hear the young girl on the other side of me say just as the music changes to a different song and the bride enters the room. “She’s not the only one” Nate whispers, dragging his hand a bit back towards him but still on me; just more center on the back of my neck this time. I smirk “you really shouldn’t hype yourself up like that ya know. Girls like confidence but that’s just cocky” I joke. His eyes widen before realizing I’m joking. He laughs and shakes his head, “I was talking about you”. I feel his fingers dance over the back of my neck playfully but his gaze never leaves mine.
Nate looks down at his lap as his free hand goes back up to his right ear again, “I can’t do this” he says quietly. “I know, we already discussed that” I tease. “What?!” He asks, his head instantly raising to look at me. “Getting married, we already said how neither of us understands the point of it. That is what you’re talking about right?” I ask in a hushed tone as the ceremony progresses before us. “Oh, yeah, right” he laughs timidly. “Well, relax Nate, it isn’t like anyone here is forced to go home with someone other than him” I say, pointing to y/f/e. He remains silent so I glance over at him and see him smirking as he watched me closely, “forced, no”.
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“He’s cute, who is he?!” Y/f/n asks gleefully as she sips on the drink the man she snuck away from bought her. “His name is Nate” I laugh, not divulging any more information. She winks, “are you thinking of going home with him?”. I play coy and shrug, knowing she’ll cause a scene if I outright tell her I’m tempted. “Well, better go get cozy again” she says, tipping her glass in his direction.
I finish my champagne as I round the buffet tables, headed towards the hall where Nate is leaning up against a wall. Setting my glass down on the table nearest to me, I take a deep breath and touch my necklace for good luck. “You don’t get it Sully! It isn’t that I logistically can’t do it. It is that I don’t want to, it clearly means something to her. Plus, she m-“ Nate says, and only now do I notice the phone in his hand. I pause behind him, as I am not wanting to interrupt and also out of curiosity.
“I know, but we need to figure something else out, I’m not pick pocketing Y/N’s necklace Sully. I won’t do it” Nate says angrily. I feel a tightness in my chest and take a shaky breath as I clutch my mother’s arrow charm even tighter in my left hand. Nate seems to hear me as he quickly turns around and gives me a remorseful look. I clench my teeth and use my empty hand to smack his irritatingly enchanting face. “Fuck you Nate” I say, spinning on my heels so fast I’m surprised I don’t fall. However, the anger and betrayal I feel keeps me upright as I stalk out of the hall and back into the reception center.
Y/f/n is still chatting with the guy from before. I guess I need to just wait it out. However, the pain in my chest won’t leave and tears begin to form at the idea of something happening to the last piece of my mother I have left. When she died, her coworker scavenged the apartment and took most of the things from her locked office. Whereas the social workers who picked me up refused to let me take anything more than a weeks worth of clothes from my bedroom. I found out later that week that the bank took possession of the house thereafter and sold everything. This unique yet unimportant necklace is all I have left of her, and Nate, some random man I met at a random person’s wedding hit on me and was kind just to steal it?! Anger and more sadness bubbles up inside of me and I decide I need to do something about it.
I stomp over to the bar and quickly ask for the strongest drink they have. The man behind the bar nods and promptly starts to make the drink. “You’re not even going to check her ID?” I hear a firm, yet somehow annoyingly warm voice asks. My brain instantly connects the voice to the man; Nate. I refuse to turn around and acknowledge his presence. The bartender glances up, “are you under 21?” He asks me. “No, ignore him” I groan, reaching into my clutch to pull out my ID. “Says she’s over 21” the bartender says, handing it back.
“You don’t think she’d have a fake ID? Rookie mistake. Don’t lose your license over her wanting to prematurely drink” Nate says, placing his hand on my lower back in an attempt to lead me away from the bar. The bartender gives me a look that tells me Nate won. I glare at Nate and pick up the pace to get away from him. “Y/N, wait, please “ he calls out after me.
“What the hell was that?!” I ask pointing aggressively towards the bar. Nate shrugs, “he doesn’t make it right anyways, it wouldn’t have tasted good”. I narrow my eyes at him even more, “that wasn’t the point! I don’t care what it tastes like”. He sighs, “because the intent was to get intoxicated”. I give him a look that causes him to straighten his back more, “you’re the reason behind that and yet you ruined that too”. Nate frowns, “I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you, but can’t we just talk about this? I can explain-“.
“Explain?! Fine Nate, explain to me why you thought I wouldn’t be hurt by you attempting to steal my mother’s necklace from me. The one thing I have left of the dead woman I used to rely on 7 years ago!” I scream. Nate’s eyes widen and his expression looks even more ashamed and remorseful than he did in the hall when I caught him. Before he can attempt to respond, I’m speaking again, “Explain why is this random necklace so important that you would go through the whole charade this evening!?”
This time, Nate responds before I can continue yelling at him, “charade?!”. “Yes Nate, the charade of you acting like you were interested in me, like you wanted to get to know me, and like you gave a damn about me!” I glare, really resenting not being able to have had a drink before this. “Y/N, that wasn’t a damn charade!” He argues, reaching out to grab my hand. I step back, still glaring at him. If I keep this up, I’m definitely going to have a headache tomorrow from the tension above my eyes. He sighs and closes his eyes. “No?! You really expect me to believe it wasn’t a ploy to get my necklace?!” I argue. His eyes quickly open and he meets my eyes.
“If you recall, you bumped into me! I didn’t even notice you had the collier reine des flèches until after I was enthralled by you” Nate says, refusing to break eye contact. I open my mouth to object but he continues. “Look Y/N, I get it, I do. I didn’t know what the collier reine des flèches meant to you. But even before that I stopped even considering trying to take it because I knew it was wrong and I couldn’t do that to you. And I promise I’m not going to change my mind on that, regardless on if you forgive me or not” he rambles on.
“What is that?” I ask, noticing he’s mentioned it twice. “What is what?” He asks, seemingly surprised that that is what I focused on from his statement. “The French sounding thing you said” I say, relaxing my eyes. “You knew it was French but not what it means?” He asks intrigued. “My mom taught me clue to pick up on what language someone is speaking even without an accent. Now your turn” I tell him, crossing my arms over my chest.
He laughs softly and nods, “It is the name of that there necklace” he says, pointing at my mother’s gold necklace and intricate arrow charm dangling off of it. I try to think if there are any words in the name that sound familiar. I learned a little French since my mom was always speaking it in her office. But, I never knew enough to understand full sentences nor learn what she was talking about. “It’s rough translation is ‘queen of arrows necklace’. It dates back centuries and used to belong, as its name suggests, to Queen Marceline Kybele” Nate explains after noticing my confusion.
“How do you know all of this?” I ask, cautious of his motivations still. He may have decided not to take it earlier but this could be another ploy to get me to lower my guard. “I guess you could say I am a treasure hunter and the collier reine des flèches is a crucial relic said to unlock the path to Queen Kybele’s hidden gem chest” he says slowly. “Why is she called the queen of arrows if her chest is full of gems?” I ask aloud before I can stop myself. Nate smirks a bit before smiling, “her army only ever used arrows to defend the kingdom and the shovels her gem seekers used to dig up said gems were shaped as arrows both in regards to the blade, which was a downwards arrow, and the handle which was a dull upwards facing arrow”.
While I get the sense Nate is saying all of this to show off, I can’t help but be intrigued. I never knew exactly what my mom did, but I knew it had to do with artifacts from other countries; hence the language lessons. “Why would my mom have this?” I question, asking my more important question this time. “Why, I’m not sure. How, has an easier answer” Nate says. I raise my eyebrow, “are you suggesting she stole it?”. “Y/N, I wish I could tell you no, but from now on I’m not going to lie or hide anything from you” he says kindly.
I’m still hesitant to trust him but something in his eyes is so assuring. Regardless of whether I can trust him or not, I need to try and understand as much as I can about the necklace and my mother. It seems he may know more about her than I do. “And that means it is okay to steal it back?” I ask, taking a seat at one of the decorated tables surrounding the ballroom floor.
“It was an excuse I gave myself. You’re telling me you’ve never done something just to get by?” Nate asks, sitting next to me. “I’m not saying that in the slightest,” this causes Nate to smirk, “I’ve done plenty I didn’t care for in order to keep a roof over my head and feed myself after I aged out of the system”. Nate’s hands stop tapping the table as he watches me even more scrutinizingly. “You were in the system?” He asks. I nod, “and don’t you dare give me that look of pity everyone gives when they find out”. He shakes his head with a chuckle, “no, I get it. I was too, so no pity from me”. I give him a nod, “okay, good, no pity. I’m still trying to decide if I like you or not, the last thing I need is you feeling sorry for me”.
“I can’t believe it” I say, pushing my chair back from the table by extending my arms and sliding back. “Y/N,” Nate says, standing up. “No.. I… I’m not mad at you. Well, still irritated, but after all of this” I say, waving my hand around in the air as if one could point to the long conversation we just had. “I’m not mad and I’m starting to trust you. Well, at least what you say. I just…. I can’t… you know more about my mom than I do or ever did” I say shaking my head to myself. “Hey, come here” he says, inching closer and taking me into a hug, “I’m sure that’s not true”.
“Nate?” I ask, stepping out of his arms as the song ends and I notice hardly anyone else was dancing. It was Nate’s suggestion to take my mind off my mom. “Yes?” He inquires, squeezing my hand. “How did you know the necklace would be here?” I ask. “Oh, Sully got a tip from someone who mentioned it would likely be present tonight. Granted, we didn’t know it would be on someone, and if it was we’d assumed it would’ve been the bride” he says, softly tugging on my hand to bring me closer to him again.
I smile as I rest my head on his shoulder as his hands adjust until one is holding mine and the other is around my lower back. I drape my my free arm under his and rest the palm of my hand on his shoulder as we sway back and forth. “Are you feeling any better?” He asks quietly and I can feel his breath against my exposed neck. “A little” I say, smirking as I press my face further into his shoulder. He chuckles lightly before I feel his lips press against my bare shoulder, “good”.
“The newlyweds want to remind everyone to sign the guest book in the back corner of the room” the DJ says, ending the peace I found with Nate. My attention is brought back to my surroundings as I lift my head off his shoulder and loosen my grip on him. “You’re wanting to sign the book?” Nate asks surprised. “No.. I just….” I mutter, trying to compose my thoughts on the task at hand and not on Nate or funny and optimistic he is.
You’d think a man cynical of marriage to be pessimistic, but he’s not. Nathan tried his best to be optimistic for me when it came to my mom and the mysteries that suddenly seem to surround my life now. He is also endearing and charming, going so far as to assure me that he’d help me find the answers to all those mysteries and questions I now have.
“Y/N?” Nate asks, stroking my face tenderly. I snap out of my distracting thoughts only to look up at his equally if not more distractingly handsome features. “What seems to be on your mind presently?” he asks, “maybe I can help”. “Do you know who the tip came from?” I ask, glancing across the hotel ballroom we’re in at my only suspect.
I feel guilt rise in me as I even consider the possibility it could be her, but no one else knew I had this necklace or paid any mind to it if they did. “Ummm… one sec” Nate says, fishing in his jacket pocket for his phone. “Ahh here it is, someone named y/f/n” he says, “and here is their photo” he adds holding up his phone. Upon hearing his confirmation and seeing her face on his screen, the guilt I felt immediately dissipates and turns into anger instead. “I’m going to kill her” I growl, stepping back from Nathan.
“Y/N, you know her?” He asks and before I can tell him how stupid I think that question is, I remember he didn’t know the necklace would be on anyone, just that it would be in the building. Meaning he had no way of knowing the tip would be someone I’d know. When I don’t respond Nate follows my gaze as I stare across the room in fumes at her betrayal. Nathan didn’t know what the necklace meant to me, and even before then he changed his mind and didn’t actually take it. Y/f/n on the other hand knew full well the value I placed on the necklace and willingly went behind my back. “Oh shit” Nate mumbles, grabbing my hand, “come on, let’s just go”.
I shake my head, staring over at her even as I feel Nate’s eyes focused on me and his breath against my skin. “I have something I need to do” I say, slipping my hand from his and heading towards y/f/n. “Y/n/n, you know you can’t actually kill her right?” Nate asks, speed walking to keep up with my prowl. “I know” I respond sharply, irritated he’s trying to limit what I’m doing once again. I may not have actually been on my way to kill her, but between the drinks and this, it’s getting frustrating. “I’m just trying to make sure because I care about you and don’t want you to make a rash decision you’ll regret” he says, slipping his hand into mine as he catches up. His words cause me to slow but not stop. I nod in appreciation as we finally close in on y/f/n.
“Nate, how have you been?” the older man from earlier asks as he and y/f/n take notice of our arrival. My eyes quickly dash over to Nate who just squeezes my hand while glaring at the older man. “Nate? Who is this?” I ask, trying to trust the Nate I feel I’ve come to know, but the intensity of the situation makes it difficult. “Y/N, meet Sully” he says, his eyes never leaving Sully. Nate told me about his business/treasure hunting partner -Sully- during our conversation earlier this evening. “It’s a pleasure Y/N” Sully says, holding his hand out towards me. Nate tugs on my hand but after everything Nate told me, I already know better than to trust Sully. “That’s a beautiful necklace you have there” Sully says.
Nate tugs backwards on my hand again before dropping it and standing slightly in front of me. Shielding me, and the necklace, from Sully. “Nate, it’s fine, I’m just admiring it” Sully says, looking between the two of us; likely trying to figure out if I know what he and Nate had planned. “Sully, stop. You need to leave her alone. I’m serious. Plus, she already-“ Nate protests, inching over to cover more of me.
“No Nate, like Sully said, it’s fine” I say, placing my hand on Nate’s back in between his shoulder blades. Nate gives me a sideways glance, confused and silently pleading for me to step back. Ignoring him and feeling all of my emotions from today rise up, I remove my hand from his back and reach behind my neck. “Y/N, what are you-“ Nate questions, reaching for my hand.
I unclasp my mother’s necklace and ball it up into the palm of my hand, feeling the point of the arrow pierce my skin. “This clearly means more to you guys than it does to me. I couldn’t care less about the damn thing anymore. I’m tired of the secrecy and lies that have been plaguing my life longer than I even could have imagined. So here, do with it as you please. It, “ I say, grabbing Sully’s hand and dropping the necklace into it. “And you,” I add, facing y/f/n “are both dead to me. Enjoy” I say, walking off.
I take yet another shaky breath this evening as I slip out onto the terrace. Part of me feels missing and empty without the necklace, but part of me feels relieved. It was the last thing I had of my mother, but it also was the thing that caused so much insanity and lies; even from my mother. I decide to settle on the belief it is better off with Sully, and Nate, should he choose to return to their original plan to use it to find the gems.
I let my eyes lazily wander across the landscape before me. The dark sky being lit up only through the lights of the party and the stars in the sky. It is oddly calming and certainly romantic, I can see why they chose this venue. I cross my arms and lean forward to rest them on the terrace railing. “You really should be careful doing that” I hear Nate’s voice call out. He says it in a whisper, but it is so silent out here that it sounds normal. “And you, should really stop trying to make decisions for me” I respond, leaning against the railing more in retaliation.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s clear you are capable of taking care of yourself. As I said earlier, I care for you. Which means I don’t want to see you get hurt, even through your own choices” Nate states, standing next to me. I nod as I stare into the twinkled abyss before us. “But, I realize I need to step back a bit and let you make your own decisions” he says, handing me a drink. I glance over at him and thank him as I take notice of the champagne.
“It was truly the best option they had left” he says as I take the glass from him. I laugh and smile at him before sipping on my drink. “Unless you want my beer” he offers, holding it out to me. “I’m good, thanks” I say, scooting closer to him. “I hope you don’t mind me doing this one last thing” he says as he sets his beer down on the patio table. Before I can turn to face him, he is behind me with his arms over my shoulders as he grabs something from his left hand with his right as they connect above my chest. I can feel his breath warming up my neck as his fingers slowly pull in their respective directions and around to the back of my neck.
The dark makes it impossible to see, but the weight and feeling is so similar I know in an instant it is my mother’s necklace he is holding. “Nate?” I ask barely audibly as I reach up with my free hand to rub the carvings. “Hmmm?” he asks as his fingers and breath tickle the back of my neck while he fastens the clasp. “What’re you doing?” I ask, shocked to have the necklace back, let alone from Nate. “Returning it to where it belongs” he whispers, placing a soft kiss to the backside of my neck.
I feel my breath catch in my throat as I turn to face him. I quickly place my drink down next to his. Presumably with tears in my eyes, I smile at him and wrap my arms around his neck. “What happened to finding the gems?” I ask curiously. He gives me a smile, the left of his lips curling upwards more than the right, “some things are more important”. I mentally thank the universe for it being so dark out here as I’m sure my cheeks are neon red.
I lean forwards and connect my lips with his, causing Nate to smile as he kisses me back. “Thank you. I’m sorry about your adventure though” I admit. He shakes his head and wraps his arms around the small of my back, “this one seems better. Besides, we could always look for it together”. I hum, drawing shapes on his back with my finger, “you know you could have just kept the necklace and then you wouldn’t need me to go with you”.
“I realize. But you seemed really interested in the history of it, most people zone out when I ramble like that” he laughs, moving one hand up to trace my jawline. “Besides, if I’m stuck looking for Queen Kybele’s treasure with Sully, I’d like you to keep me company” he says, and I swear despite the darkness he is blushing. I smile and pull him in for another kiss.
Nate uses his arm on my lower back to pull me to him as his tongue dances over my bottom lip. I open my mouth enough to let it enter as I raise my hands to his hair. He moans as I softly tug on the back of his head. I smirk and remove my mouth from his before lowering my lips to his neck. He instinctively holds me even tighter as he backs up into the brick wall behind him. I have just begun to place teasing kisses on his neck when he abruptly pulls back to create distance.
“Nate?” I ask, my hand trailing down his chest. He takes a deep breath and stares deeply into my eyes, “is this just because of everything that happened tonight?”. I shake my head no. “It doesn’t have anything to do with you mom or y/f/n or how much you’ve had to drink?” He checks, holding my hand. Once again I shake my head no, smiling at how sweet and considerate he’s being. I elect to ignore the fact that I have hardly had anything to drink; in part thanks to him.
“Okay, so you’re not just in need of a distraction? Because you don’t have to do this,” he says softly. “I’m sure Nate. But if you don’t want me to-“ I begin, but he cuts me off “no! I want you to, I want us to, I just want to make sure there aren’t any issues with why you changed your mind” he responds. “Who said I changed my mind? Last I recall, I said I was trying to decide if I liked you” I tell him, my fingers hooking onto his tie as I form a grip around it.
“And... I’ve reached my decision” I tell him, using his tie to pull his head forward until our lips meet. He smirks into the kiss and quickly swipes his tongue back over my mouth. I as open my mouth in response, I keep one hand gripped on his tie and the other moves back to his hair again.
“So, does this mean you’d like to go with us to find Queen Kybele’s treasure” Nate asks as we part for air. “I’ll think about it, how about you show me why I should” I smirk causing the taunting glimmer in his eyes to flicker as he smiles and pulls me against his body. “Okay, but Sully isn’t joining this adventure” he laughs. “Nate!” I yell, smacking his chest playfully.
He grabs my wrist from his chest and holds it over my head as he presses me against the wall, his lips coming down to meet mine. “You have a deal, why don’t we take this somewhere more private where I can show you” he says, his lips against my jaw. “Every” his lips move to my chin, “single” lips moving to the skin below my ear, “reason” lips on my neck. I let out a low moan as he sucks on the skin of my neck. “You have yourself a deal” I paraphrase him as I take advantage of our position to wrap my legs around his waist.
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Disclaimer/AuthorNotes
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I tried my best, and the smut it semi descriptive, 18+, please enjoy. Sorry for my poorly Arthur Morgan. It's my first attempt.
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Once upon a time
It was a late night for y/n as she tended to the paper work for her hotel. She had bought the hotel in the town of Valentine. Gazing down at the papers with her reading glasses sitting at the end of the nose. As she was reading the papers a chime rung into the hotel. Gazing up slowly a cowboy had stumbled into her fine establishment. Her eyes couldn't help but gaze the man up and down as he entered. Lowering her gaze one again a light from the lanterns as he walked reflected off his chest but slowly risen to his face. Taking notice of his shirt is slightly undone showing the thick curls of his hair under it. His face came to view as it was a handsome gentleman. His beard was perfect as she took notice of a few scars on his sharp jaw line. "Evening, sir... May I get you anything? A room? Or are you here for somebody upstairs. It can wait till morning. " Y/n spoke sternly towards the man.
The man grumbled out a chuckle that was deep and from deep within his chest. "Haha, I'm just here for a room, sweetheart. " his voice rang out and my was it just heaven to her ears.
Blushing softly as she nodded gently. Slowly taking out a book as well as taking a pen; Handing it towards him "just sign your name here. That'll be 2.00 for the night. "
"Did they raise the price.... Jeez"
"No, on the contrary. I bought out the previous owner. 1.00 for a bed to sleep in 1.00 for breakfast in the morning. In total 2.00 for the night with breakfast in the morning. " Y/n began to explain. It honestly brought her a lot of business since she provided a meal along with it.
He chuckled once more before tossing her 2.00. As he signed his name. She took the book from him reading the name, his hand writing was pretty good. "Mr. Morgan, please this way. Unless you are hungry now? Then I suppose, I can throw in a meal before bed."
Arthur looked up at her as he nodded gently "I would love a hot meal before bed, thank you."
"This way then" She walked over putting up a close sign for the night before heading to the kitchen in the back.
Deciding to cook some dear meat with some vegetables on the side. As Arthur made a seat at the table as she worked. Eventually serving the two of them a plate as she sat down. Gazing up into his eyes, she noticed they were on her a lot since he followed her into the kitchen, Even when cooking. "Would you like any whiskey Mr. Morgan, Or tea? " she paused for a moment. "Pardon, I never introduced myself. My name is Y/f/n Y/l/n. Its a pleaser. Morgan"
"Whiskey is fine. If you'll drink with me... Thank you again for the meal, I quite wasn't" he paused for a second "Expecting this tonight. It's a uh, Pleasure Ms. Y/l/n."
Y/n couldn't help but give a small giggle. Getting the two of them glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Returning and pouring the two of them glasses as they soon dined and drank most of the night away. Eventually finishing the bottle quickly, shot after shot as they ate. Eventually the plates were empty so they both just drank and chat. The liquor soon hit each of their system as they couldn't help but gaze into each other's eyes. It was like fate... But there was no way it could be real. It was like the red string of fate was attached to both of their pinkies. His and hers. It was truly romantic as they both were silent just admiring each other; until she had noticed. Blushing heavily y/n cleared her throat before gazing away. "O-Oh my... I' I'm so sorry...." she paused for a moment touching her forehead. "My head is so fuzzy..." She wasn't much of a drinker, So this was a first. He couldn't help but chuckle. "don't worry sweetheart, you'll just have a hell of a hangover tomorrow... " He chuckled as he was feeling the liquor himself but he wasn't as wasted as her. "Lemme get you to bed." With that he stood slowly picking her up bridal style. "About that, Which way is your room.." He muttered to her as he looked down as her point the way; the best she could. Eventually making it to the room, However the moment he laid her down in the bed. She wouldn't let go of him, Staring up into his eyes as her lips slowly lifted up as they touched his gently. "S-Stay with me..." She spoke lightly into his ear as he blushed a bit looking down at her with a small gentle glare. Giving a sigh before nodding as he kicked his boots off and slid his hat on top of them. Ripping his jacket off. She watched with anticipation a bit as his ripped arms came out of the sleeves showing of his muscular body. Y/n couldn't help but blush at the sight before her. Arthur slowly climbed into the bed next to her looking into her eyes. "well... I'm here, sweetheart... what you want me to do?"
"Just stay with me... till morning. " With that y/n slowly leaned into the small gap between the two. Kissing Arthur on the lips, he was shocked at first before pushing further into it. They both soon succumbed into a deep passionate kiss. His hands sliding his way from her arms down to her waist. Pulling y/n ever so closely to him as he deepened the kiss more unable to resist himself a deep rumble came from his chest as it made its way into his throat letting out a light groan. His hand slowly went up y/ns back as he gripped her hair; pulling it back. laying gentle kisses down her jaw to the throat. Before biting it gently giving a few suckles too. Leaving small hickeys here and there along the way. Marking y/n nice and pretty as his. Y/n was such a tease to him in the beginning when he laid eyes on her. Something about her seemed to caught his interest as she spoke to him. She had a spark that caught his eyes and liked it. It made him very interested and now here she was melting in his hands, by his lips... Soon enough Arthur helped her remove her clothes as y/n helped remove his. Getting right to it, y/n on her all fours bent over for him. Arthur was on top about to slid in but quickly stopped as he leaned over her back. "May I?" Arthur asked with a deep hoarse tone sending shivered up y/n spine. Y/n couldn't help but nod quickly wanting this badly. Arthur chuckled before smiling. "Good Girl." He smile before sliding it in. Slowly thrusting as he was slow. Trying to be gentle. His gaze on hers as Y/n couldn't but whimper and moan softly at his movements. Her eyes locked with his as she smiled. Biting her lip gently. "M-My Mr. Morgan... You really know how to... Mmmm~ Show a girl a good time. " Y/n spoke softly to Arthur. He couldn't help but chuckled. "Haha, It isn't my first time, I wont lie about that. But I must say, This is the best I've had in a while. " he groaned into your ear as he held her hair back kissing along her jawline as his thrust continued. For a while they continued their rapid motions as Arthur continue to go at it as y/a finally came as he soon came inside her. Filling her with his seed quickly before pulling out. "S-Shit.." he muttered looking down at her as he huffed lightly. Watching her sink down as she was resting. Arthur chuckled before smiling. Seeing she quickly fell asleep after that was she was worn out and liquor on top of that. He soon backed away and sat on the edge of the bed. Rubbing the side of her head gently petting it. Looking outside through the window Arthur pulled out a cigarette as he lit it and inhale lightly. Slowly standing and pulling on his clothes. Going to the room he rented. Getting a few hours of sleep.
By morning Y/n awoke. Unable to remember much of last night, Gazing out the window. She sat up and noticed she was naked. Confused as to why, Pulling on a nice f/c corset with matching skirt. Making her way to the kitchen to make breakfast. Once that was finished, she headed to the front desk to see one of the guest coming down. Mr. Morgan... Y/n looked up and gazed at him. Few vivid memories rushing into her mind. Their passionate moment last night. But was those memories true. Arthur smiled at her. "morning Ms. L/N. Thank you for the night. But I must be off... I Have things to do. It was a pleasure. " Tossing the coin to the startled Y/n. She couldn't utter a word as he was out the door. Running out the door quickly. She sees him already on his horse and down the road. It was too late. Clutching a hand to her chest.
< 2 years later. >
Y/n brushed a strand from her child hair. "and that is how , I met your father. " Except for the child's sake she left out how and just said 'Made you, sweetie'. In your lap was little AJ. Arthur Junior. "But... where is daddy now, Mommy" AJ spoke looking up at her. "He's... He's somewhere safe, Sweetie. " In fact, Arthur died of Tuberculosis a few weeks after she gave birth. "But don't worry sweetie, He was around for mommy, she she held you. "
"Really?!" Aj spoke excitedly as she couldn't help but nod. after tracking him down after a few months and discovering she was carrying. She found him again. After that, Arthur visited more often but slowly he got sick and sicker. They discovered he had Tuberculosis. So he always wore a mask near her. She wore one as well. Luckily her and the baby was safe in the end. But he tragically died. However Y/n will always dream of that Once Upon A Time Dream of going back and reliving the moments they had.
#red dead fanfic#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption arthur#arthur morgan fanfic#arthur morgan x reader#arthur morgan smut#rdr2 smut
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In a Pokémon AU, what do you think the RFA + Minor Trio's roles be? Like gym leader, professor, trainer, contest star, etc?
Oh boy, Pokemon au's are always a ton of fun to play around with! I am a bit rusty, but I did my best with my personal picks for their possible trainer classes. Some of them are pretty random and even weird, but hey, I had fun writing out my thoughts regardless :D
Yoosung
Ace trainer. Honestly? I see Yoosung as being a very competent fighter that you should not underestimate under any circumstances. Ace trainers mostly consist of teens or young adults in games, as far as I can remember, so they do fit his demographic quite well! Yoosung is someone who has a deep drive to better himself, which is why I can easily imagine him travelling around the world and taking regular part in Pokemon League competitions. His team is very well balanced and pretty hard to beat, as he does take pride in his fighting skills!
Zen
Gym leader. There's just something about Zen being in charge of testing beginner trainers and making sure that they're strong enough to continue into the Pokemon League that is so appealing to me for some reason. I always viewed him as a mentor figure of sorts, so it's fun to imagine him putting his hard earned skills to good use like this. It's a pretty harsh and unforgiving position to be in, but Zen's hard work always pays off. He's not just in charge of testing and training, he's also supposed to look after the gym itself, which is a tiring physical labor to go through. It's a role that requires a lot of responsibility, and that's something that our beloved actor takes very seriously.
Jaehee
Baker. Uhhh, this may be a weird choice, but I kinda just see her opening up her own cozy pokemon cafe eventually... I want her to live a peaceful life filled with yummy treats, warm coffee and her loyal pokemon buddies right by her side. So, the first thing that came to my mind is baker class. Still, don't underestimate Jaehee. She's an extremely difficult opponent to beat!
Jumin
Pokemon professor. Jumin is definitely someone who's reached the expert level with his skills and knowledge. I can see him being highly interested in research and working towards new improvements in the training field with the help of his company. It's also easy to imagine him being in the position of giving their first ever pokemon to new trainers. Jumin is deeply connected to nature, so I tend to think that he's a certified pokemon master in that regard. He'll be able to form a connection with any pokemon and, with time, he learned to pick the perfect ones at just a few glances.
Saeyoung
Collector. Okay, I was kinda conflicted between a scientist or a collector class for him. But, since the scientist class is usually aligned with evil teams, I decided to go with the collector class. I honestly imagine Saeyoung using super rare pokemon in his team, as well as finding joy in the process of learning everything there is to know about certain types of pokemon and planning the perfect way to catch them. Fighting with him would be quite a doozy due to just how unpredictable he really is in combat, and his pokemon team reflects that ideally.
Jihyun
Doctor. I always associated Jihyun with a healing role in whatever au I put him into. It just fits him y'know? He's someone who avoids conflict and doesn't like fighting, which is pretty fitting for the doctor training class who won't fight you unless you directly interact with them and talk to them. He's also definitely the type to heal your pokemon after the battle is finished, and he does his best to heal all injured pokemon he comes across.
Saeran
Pokemon breeder. Alright, I personally see Saeran as an animal person, even though he doesn't even realize that until someone directly points this out to him. He's able to easily form a connection with any pokemon and his tender touch is known to calm even the spunkiest of individuals. I imagine him both nursing young pokemon from birth and taking care of those who, due to unfortunate circumstances, have lost their former trainer. If you need to learn something specific about your little buddy - Saeran is the right person for the job. Plus hey, picturing him in his comfy overalls as he takes care of his little garden with a few tiny pokemon nestling themselves on his shoulders is just too cute of a sight for me to ignore.
Vanderwood
Pokemon hunter(poacher)/pokemon breeder. Okay. So, initially, they play the role of a pokemon hunter, and a very skillful one at that. Pokemon hunters are known for their powerful teams, and I always imagine Vandy being a particularly difficult opponent to beat. It's not a job that they enjoy doing, but they need to keep themselves stable in one way or another. They join Saeran as a fellow pokemon breeder once they're free to choose whatever role they want for themselves. Like Saeran, Vanderwood has a natural talent at building close connections with their pokemon, and additional farm work is something they enjoy to their hearts content.
#mystic messenger#mysmes#mysme#mm#yoosung kim#zen ryu#jaehee kang#jumin han#saeyoung choi#jihyun kim#saeran choi#ge saeran#vanderwood
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Hey there.
I am very new to all of this. I had a reading done by someone (primarily Norse) and it made a lot of sense what she said, but she pointed me the Celtic (she said The Dagda showed up for the reading and Lugh) when I had been paying attention to what I’d interpreted as Odin, Freya, Fenrir, and Tyr, with some interest in Hel. Last week, I asked someone in a shop I now frequent if they had any books on Freya and they said no, but that if I was interested in knowing who was showing up and where to start, to talk to a particular person (J). When I talked to J, she immediately said The Morrigan and Sif were present but that Sif was indicating I wasn’t ready to work with her yet. But that The Morrigan was right there and wanted my attention. I had seen a random video several months back that indicated Her, which my (now) wife showed me after I had seen it on my own, and books mentioning Her have been drawing me. So I finally got the Celtic Lore and Spellcraft (Stephanie Woodfield) book and have been reading it. J mentioned some other things, some very personal to me, when recommending that book, most of which were things that no one could know unless they knew me. I have no clue where to go from here and have no legit experience with witchcraft or paganism or anything. I grew up conservative (to be mild) and know that may impact how I initially view things so I’ve been trying to be open to wherever this may lead. Once J said Her name, it all fit and made sense. I see crows all the time, I’ve felt drawn to black crystals and amethyst, I’ve always been drawn to wolves and crows and ravens and horses, and etc. But I don’t know what it means to pray or offer a prayer? I also don’t know what to do now that I am reading about Her? I feel like I’m in over my head.
WELL, then. There's a lot uncover here, so let me see if there's anything that I can do that might offer you some decent advice.
Feeling like you're in over your head is actually something that's very respectable, and it's actually more common than you think. Most people I've spoken to, especially in regards to The Morrigan, mention feelings of being overwhelmed and lost. But She's also a very overwhelming deity. Fate. Magic. Death. Love, and sex. Personal sovereignty, and personal power. It's A LOT to take in, especially if we have a history of feeling powerless or out of control of our lives. As a side note, I also am not surprised that you had interest in Odin, Freyja, and Fenrir. I have worked (and still work) with 2 out of 3 of these deities, and in my personal experience they all share a very similar energy to the sort The Morrigan puts out. She is wise, passionate, and can be very savage.
My ultimate advice, if you take nothing else that I say or that my page has to offer in terms of reference, is to try not to think of speaking with The Morrigan as having to throw yourself into witchcraft and paganism. Yes, one of Her pieces is magic - and Fate, which to some people could be interpreted as magic such as divination and the like. HOWEVER, in my personal experience, Mama (The Morrigan) looks for a relationship before anything else. She is someone for you to take. your. time. in getting to know. There is a sh*t ton that you can learn about Her by simply giving Her space in your life - and also just by learning about yourself. Self-reflection is MASSIVE, with Her.
Again, this is all based upon my own experience, and other people might not agree with me. But you asked me, so that's what I have to say about it.
Mama is... well, She's essentially a powerful motherly figure. She will push you to learn about yourself, as you work together to find your strengths, your weaknesses, and the boundaries that you need in your life. I say need, because what we need is not always what we want. And Mama does not give us what we want, unless it aligns with what it is that we need in order to become a more powerful and sovereign version of ourselves. She doesn't coddle. We are Her children, but we are Her battle crows/ravens/wolves. My first few years of working with The Morrigan was mostly about self-reflection, and learning how to divine and discern what I needed to get rid of in order to allow myself to grow into my higher self. Habits that need adding, changing, or removing. People that need adding or subtracting, and the behaviors you tolerate from yourself and others. It is a constant effort, and the work is never over. But it does get easier over time.
The Morrigan chooses Her warriors, because She sees our potential. Sometimes the battle seems impossible, but if we hold true to that knowledge - and have faith in Her guidance - She will not let us hit the ground until it's our time to do so. You say that it felt right, when you heard Her name. So absorb that feeling, and accept it. Use it, and learn as much as you can about who you are. What do you fight for? WHO do you fight for? What do you need to remove from your life that might be keeping you from becoming the person you want to become? As you learn these things about yourself, She will give you whispers and hints in your everyday life that can help you reach those goals. You just have to be willing listen.
One thing I always say is that Mama only shows us the doors to walk through. It's up to us to choose to actually take those steps, and conquer the battlefield. Just remember that you don't have to go through every door all at once. Start small. Go slow. Enjoy the experience, even when it hurts. Because that means you're growing.
As far as prayers go, the easiest advice I can give is to just be open. The Morrigan isn't one to yell at you, especially if you don't have a receiving heart and mind. She whispers, like I said before. But when you hear Her, you just know. So do what you feel drawn to do. Gift Her a stone. Offer Her incense. Give an offering in the form of saying something like "Show me how I can be better today than I was yesterday." As your relationship grows, you'll hear more specific requests, and then you can adjust accordingly.
I don't know if ANY of this is really helpful, but it's what I felt called to say. Please feel free to look at any of the references/correspondences I have on my page, and you're always welcome to message me privately if you need help on anything - or better explanation of anything. I'm not always quick to respond these days, but I will. And don't be scared to check out #caw squad or #the morrigan tags, along with #na morrigna and #na morrigu. Those tags, and the people that use them, are always willing to share their experiences and journeys.
Also, sorry for the ramble! *sweat drop*
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Not sure where to start on this and this may seem a little out of the blue, but do you have tips on how to continue writing a wip when there's been a recently uploaded story that has a similar/same premise, or prompt/dialogue?
I recently started reading something, and in it was a line of dialogue that's the exact same as in something I've been writing and is quite important, so I don't want to cut it out of my own work. How do I keep going? I don't want to steal anyone's work or plagiarize anything...
Feeling a little stuck. Any tips?
Hi! That's a tough situation to be in, for sure, and I can completely understand where you're coming from. It's so easy to get discouraged when you see someone else write something similar to what you're working on or even when there's a line you have in mind that pops up in someone else's work. I think in more recent fandom days, there's been a lot more of a critical eye on similar seeming work, so I think hesitance is justified.
All that being said, however, you shouldn't feel like you can't write what you want simply because of a happenstance like this. Lines, especially within the same fandom, are bound to be repeated, and plot lines even more so. As much as we all like to think we're boundless wells of original material, there's a reason why stories repeat themselves, and depending on how deep/active you are in fandom space, it's going to happen where similar viewings will spark similar stories. But, to put my word vomit to an end, here are a few more concise things/advice I want to say on the matter:
You never know who is going to read your work or the work you just read. It's possible that your audiences don't overlap, and that important line might be missed if you don't include it in your own.
Intention is everything. You've already told me that you didn't intend to plagiarize, you wrote your line before reading this piece, and if anyone decides to bring it up (unlikely unless it is a very specific line), you're always going to have the chance to explain.
People need to remember that fanfiction, at its core, is meant to be fun, and when people start throwing out the word plagiarism for things such as a single line or a similar plot it's not okay. Obviously, there are examples of real plagiarism within fandom spaces, and that isn't okay, but when we start using it for everything, it's so discouraging to writers who want, for example, to take a coffee shop au for a spin, from doing so because they might fear it'll read too similar to someone else's.
You write for yourself, and what you're writing is important. The fact that someone else's brain worm wiggled a bit similar to yours shouldn't stop you from completing your work.
If you're really caught up on it, you can always take a step back or reevaluate. See if you can say the same thing but in a different way.
I'm sure you didn't want an answer this long-winded, but I think there's such hypercriticism of ourselves and from others reflected back on us, and it really spoils what should be a fun and creative experience. Your writing matters. Your intention for your writing matter. That line or plot you want that someone else might have already taken a crack at? It all matters, and it would be a shame not to share that because of a fear of criticism that, at the end of the day, when it doesn't come from yourself, shouldn't matter.
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Did all that happen this morning? I was startled to see how much work was done in about an hour and 40 minutes, which included cat breaks. And now I had several astonishing physical events: a brand new level of control over the movement forms is generating the image which fits that capacity, meaning that image of the shell me, the one who is smiling at me in the reflection on the screen, who is amused by me. He used to appear in glimpses or out of the corners of my eyes or in some pathway which could never duplicate, and now he’s here almost all of the time. I look in the mirror now and almost always see only him, and that level of clarity is true in the chain of Understandings constructed.
There’s way too much to say. I saw in the mirror that I am achieving the Greek statue ideal, meaning I generate the poses in their tension, and thus the Pathways into those poses so they become forms of ideal that can then be altered under tension, meaning each change is mapped. That’s what tensioning does: it forces mapping across the structure. Build a better map, increase the detail on the map, build stronger connections on the map. Like I said, that’s also what CBD does: it maps the local limbic system to the brain’s map of the limbic system. Since humans don’t access their limbic system well, this has the potential to awaken the mapping, and that enables more Pathways, and that has two pain reducing effects, at minimum. One is that it statistically reduces the number of pain Pathways versus non-pain Pathways, which matters because grid squares is iterative and pain has amplitude. Like we grade it, so we grade it versus the amount by which it takes up space in our heads, which means Pathways.
The other is that more Pathways means less usage of the hurting ones, so they can heal. By heal there, I mean inflammation may reduce with less usage. Actually fixing may and I think typically does mean using those enabled painfree or lower pain Paths to untangle or otherwise break down or address the causes of pain, which may not be local at all. Like you’re experiencing pain referred down a chain, meaning a misalignment or injury or weakness or habit is connected here where it now hurts because that isn’t how here is meant to work.
Some of the poses were really cool. I can only do that because I now see the head on the statue. The muscle and contraction work in those takes a lot of faith, trust and effort.
I also managed to achieve lift in sock putting on. This is something that developed in Storyline because Joanie thinks about the math behind the choreography inherent in ordinary movement. So when you put on a sock, you can contract the lifting mechanism identified in ballet and yoga so the balance point transfers up the structure so it isn’t teetering at the bottom. That rigidity has to occur in a specific way, and that is something you may experience in childhood, where you sense a lightness on your feet. I doubt many do, given how few people dance, and the types of workouts people do.
I need and want to get going, but I realized that this work, with the head and the body coming together, is part of that same vertigo cure: I’m centering the iterations of myself by achieving myself. That’s an actual argument for undertaking the physical work: you actually center yourself, your reactions, your view of yourself, and that isn’t new age made up, but actual math. Think about it: as a construct, you have a rotation and that rotation can be all over, as we know is ahem true. So creating these images centers your construct.
This is also why ideas and trends and sometimes very bad ideas catch on: some people center themselves around the bad side of the Alternation mechanism. They choose violence because that is what is centered in them. Culture and everything else: it’s centered in them. Maybe the problem can be compared to a ceiling fan: it blows air down unless you stop the motor, reverse it and then it blows up. The problem is in the reverse it line because that’s I//I. And as noted, that’s also a 2Square because have H/D over grid squares, Injecting into grid squares, with the cardinal and ordinal coming together at the Bip.
I want to think about our old friends, the Continuum Hypothesis and Choice.
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Looking Back To Move Forward- The Importance of Self-reflection.
Imagine you’re a baker trying to perfect the recipe of a new cake for your bakery. The first time you try, the cake does not rise and instead of evaluating which ingredients work or if they are the correct amounts, you just remake the batch expecting a different outcome. Quite silly, isn’t it? Well, this is the same concept of self-reflection. “We learn by experiences and mistakes. But, unless we question ourselves about what our experiences mean and think actively about them, research has shown that we won’t make any changes” (Herbert-Smith, n.d.).
It feels like it is just yesterday that I received my university acceptance letter and to think that I am almost three-quarters of the way through to being an OT is surreal. Whilst I am proud of all the growth I’ve made, there are some “ingredients” that need tweaking. At this point in my journey, it is important to not just reflect on how far I’ve come but also where I am going and how I could be the best OT I envision to be. “Reflecting helps you to develop your skills and review their effectiveness, rather than just carry-on doing things as you have always done them.” (The Open University, n.d.)
According to The Open University,( n.d.), some factors that guide reflection include thinking about your strengths, weaknesses, happiness, and solutions. When I reflect on my journey, I count my ability to build a rapport with my client, show understanding and show empathy and not sympathy as valuable strengths.
Whilst capitalizing on my strengths is important, my weaknesses may overshadow if neglected and not improved on. “If you have a strong right arm and a very weak left arm you will always favour your strong arm to carry something heavy. Over time, you risk tweaking your back because you’ve been putting so much weight on one side of your body”. (Lipkin, n.d.)
One of my biggest weaknesses is being unable to be overly firm in my handling of patients when required. I am able to set boundaries but the line between respecting a patient’s choice and being firm to ensure the therapeutic nature of a session is not as clear as it should be to me. This is a weakness that I have identified and am working on.
These are just a few examples of my strengths and weaknesses that I need to harness and improve respectively as I continue to journey to be a qualified OT.
Another factor that guides self-reflection is feedback from others. Feedback is known to increase “self-awareness, helping you reflect on your performance and progress in your current role.” (Deeper Signals | the Top 5 Reasons Why Feedback Is Critical to Success, n.d.). I used to be fearful of feedback but now I view it as a chance to learn and grow.
The basis for self-reflection is passion. “Passion is an essential ingredient in being the best you can be, bringing you pride and purpose—and advancing your career to heights you may not have considered.” (What Does It Mean to Have Passion in Your Work? And Why Is It Essential? n.d.). This passion is what drives me and will continue to drive me to make these changes and not just offer a service to others that is merely acceptable but to be able to look back after providing therapy and be proud of what I had to offer. So, no matter how difficult some days may get, I let go of the mistakes, hold on the lessons, and move forward towards growth. As I am closer to the end of my OT student journey, constant self-reflection is what will aid me in achieving my goals.
References
Deeper Signals | The Top 5 Reasons Why Feedback is Critical to Success. (n.d.). Www.deepersignals.com. Retrieved August 18, 2023, from https://www.deepersignals.com/blog/the-top-5-reasons-why-feedback-is-critical-to-success#:~:text=Encouraging%20self%2Dreflection&text=In%20this%20way%2C%20feedback%20is%20an%20important%20means%20for%20increasing
Herbert-Smith, K. (n.d.). The importance of self-reflection. Blog.irisconnect.com. https://blog.irisconnect.com/uk/community/blog/importance-of-self-reflection/#:~:text=Self%2Dreflection%20enables%20you%20to
Lipkin, N. (n.d.). You Need To Know Your Weaknesses To Boost Your Success. Forbes. Retrieved August 18, 2023, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolelipkin/2022/06/28/you-need-to-know-your-weaknesses-to-boost-your-success/?sh=40b4e6307221
The Open University. (n.d.). Www5.Open.ac.uk. https://www5.open.ac.uk/choose/unison/develop/my-skills/self-reflection#:~:text=Reflecting%20helps%20you%20to%20develop
What Does It Mean to Have Passion in Your Work? And Why Is It Essential? (n.d.). Www.linkedin.com. https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-does-mean-have-passion-your-work-why-essential-cheri-gudaitis
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hi long post anon… again😭
yes “rule” is more so used as “unspoken boundary”
and its a lil concerning anon didn’t pick that up when the explanation is right under that specific quote they picked😭
like have fun but don’t get caught up in thinking that just because you write something that is fiction that your muse is gonna wanna see it
not only is this just to be safe/respectful morally but even legally in terms of copywrite
thats why mainstream authors don’t want people to send them fanfic because the author may accidentally add from the fic subconsciously. Or coincidentally they added it because it was an idea that you two happened to think of at the same time before you ever sent the fic or the author opened your letter/email.
this leaves people to then be able to claim the author stole content whether intentional or not.
but also in terms of morals, it just says that you respect how an author views their relationship with THEIR work by not making your interpretations aware to the author. many authors work hard to establish their worlds/characters and may feel put off if they feel someone has mischaracterized their work or morphed it into something they don’t recognize within the canon of their universe. not to say that the fic isn’t good but essentially you dont come into someone else’s home and tell them how to decorate.
and in terms of real life people, it keeps your muse from seeing how you characterize them which may not be a reflection of their own self-actualization. and again it can mess with how people see themselves. or almost feel like they’re being harassed to reveal something about themselves because fics with certain characterizations are being thrown in their face. like “i know something about you, you should just say it already.”
its not to say that a nonbinary or autistic headcannon isn’t valid but sending it to someone may feel like projection to that very real person.
like jungkook may not take offense to being called nonbinary or trans but if thats not his actual lived experience, then sending him fics or making him aware that you’ve “headcannoned” him as such would be crossing a line.
its like saying “oh im going to disregard how and what you’ve being willing to share about yourself publicly until you possibly give in and out yourself.”
we saw this with the actor who plays the bisexual boyfriend in Heartstoppers. people -mainly other queer people- couldn’t separate the actor from his role and kept poking him to come out until he actually did. just because the internet was right about him being queer, doesn’t mean they were morally right for pressuring him.
its like receiving a “love” letter from an unreliable narrator in which they detail how you smiled at them once which meant you were “obviously” flirting; when in reality, you -the person who knows your own feelings- only smiled cuz you were just being nice. doesn’t mean you aren’t a lover; it just means that your love hasn’t been extent towards them.
if Jungkook is nonbinary, he’s is for himself; not to reaffirm some preconceived notion Army have. he exists outside our collective thought and doesn’t need fic to convince him of his identity or lack there of.
basically this rule is a “curtesy” that we should extend to ALL people. so unless they ask, don’t show your fanfic to your muse, friends.
ugh i keep ending up long winded😭🤦🏽♀️
but this has been fun discourse and hopefully it enlightens someone cuz that what social change is supposed to do💜
thank you for explaining a little deeper, my lovely.
literally i’d go missing and you’d never hear from me again if bts were to read anything i’ve written, it’s not made for them 🏃♀️🏃♀️ my worst nightmare is them perceiving me LMAO
and i think i can speak on behalf of most writers that what we write, either it be bts as gay or anything of the sort, is no way for us as writers to push the boys to come out or feel as though they should identify a certain way. as i’ve reiterated like a million times within the last couple of hours, it’s all a story, not there to project onto anyone in real life. i don’t sit in my bedroom and scheme up ways to force an agenda onto bts, i’m just trying to have a good time and little fun and if i’m doing something wrong then at least i’m aware now and can improve as a person
i’m not saying, as a straight fact any of the members are gay, or that they specifically go by they/them pronouns. if he does identify as anything above then that’s super cool too and he doesn’t owe me or anyone else anything, and that’s fine!! but me writing a non binary jungkook is in no way me saying that is how he should be or is in real life. idk why that point hasn’t come across for some people yet 🏃♀️
anyways, thank you again for taking the time to explain!! you definitely deserve a yummy snack after all this, and you’re super cool and very smart!! so thank you for taking the time out of your day to talk about such a kinda weird but very interesting topic with me 🫂
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How to Pick the Right Drawing Software
How to Pick the Right Drawing Software
Parallel rules, circle templates, vellum, drafting dots, erasing shields … you may still have some of these implements on your desk for sentimental or nostalgic reasons, or your projects may begin there, but it’s probably been a long time since you’ve actually inked a set of construction documents on Mylar to run through a blueprint machine.To get more news about 2d construction drawing software, you can visit shine news official website.
Drawings remain the primary means by which architects convey ideas to the craftspeople who will manifest them into tangible structures, just as they have been doing for a very long time. The way we create those drawings has evolved over time and will continue to. But no matter what, the way you put a set of drawings together — the line weights, shading, notation, what you choose to draw and what you leave out, the unspoken gestures of delineation and representation — are by extension a part of your brand. And that means you’ll need the right tools for the job.
To select the software that’s right for you, I recommend starting by answering this question: “What’s the best way for me to channel my creative energies into a representation that someone can build from?” The answer will be different for all of us, but let’s briefly review a few of your options.
It’s important to remember that drafting and design software, like anything else, is just a tool. And unless you’re willing to dust off the drafting board and break out the pounce (remember that stuff?), you’ll need a drawing tool in the form of CAD (computer-aided design) software to create your drawings in an efficient manner.
CAD software can incite great passion among architects and designers. I understand just how personal a decision this is, because it’s used almost every single day. So my goal isn’t to endorse one tool over another. That would be the equivalent of my telling you to sketch using only an ultrafine-point black Sharpie when you prefer Sign Pens or crayons. This is really more of an overview or guide for navigating the choices. It’s up to you to decide which one best fits your work habits and your brand’s message.
2D Digital Drafting vs. 3D Model Making
Up front you’ll need to decide whether to invest in two-dimensional CAD or a three-dimensional BIM (building information modeling) system. Two-dimensional CAD is purely representational drawing, or digital drafting. Lines represent three-dimensional objects using standard drawing conventions.
While the drawings correlate to each other, they never coalesce into an actual model of the structure. You create drawings based on architectural standards (plans, elevations, sections) to represent that building three-dimensionally. It’s completely up to you to create the appropriate drawings needed to illustrate the characteristics of the building coherently to those responsible for constructing it.
By contrast, with BIM, you’re drawing the actual walls, roofs, columns and other building components that contribute to the creation of a model and a true three-dimensional representation of the structure you’re designing. The model is imbued with all of the real-world characteristics of a physical building, such as windows, doors, hardware and wall construction. BIM allows you to create a single, “intelligent” model, in which each of the components drawn exist as parametric, information-rich objects.
When you insert a window into a wall in the plan view of your model, it comes with a definable subset of information (type, size, color, glazing etc.) automatically associated with it.
Your drawing set is essentially extracted from the model by viewing it from different vantage points (a plan view, section or elevation). The real power is evidenced when you make changes. For example, when you move a window in the model, any of the drawing sheets (views) you’ve created that reference that particular window will reflect this change automatically. So too will the plans and sections, which can reduce your coordination and drawing time significantly.
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Building Bridges, One Colleague at a Time: Tips for Positive Work Relationships
Without taking into account the time spent reflecting on or discussing their interactions with coworkers at work, people spend one-third of their week on average with their colleagues. Our relationships with our co-workers play a significant role in our lives, therefore it's critical that we get along with them well enough to work together and create a supportive workplace. Assuming others have good intentions is one way we can foster productive relationships at work. This means that, in addition to acting with good intentions toward our coworkers, we also presume that they are acting with good intentions toward us. It is crucial to keep in mind that people from different identity groups have different experiences, and what one group may view as a positive connection may not be the same for another.
When conversing at work, it can be challenging to determine which topics are appropriate and which are not. Even while interactions with coworkers frequently take place in a work environment, all relationships are fundamentally personal. When it comes to whether subjects are appropriate or not, different professions and businesses have distinct rules. The best way to navigate conversations is to notice how the people you’re relating to respond to your invitations to connections. It is important to notice when somebody does not want to discuss a certain topic as that is a clear indication that you are crossing a boundary. Another difficult aspect to navigate is deciding how much to share with our coworkers. Brené Brown coined a term called ‘vulnerability hangover’, which is when we overshare with someone but did not mean to. Since we spend a lot of time together with our colleagues, it can create a false sense of intimacy which can cause individuals to have trouble accurately understanding the boundaries and comfort levels of the relationship. While talking about problems might be helpful occasionally, it's vital to remember that disclosing personal information to a colleague may lead to them disclosing it to others. It's crucial to think about how talking about a particular issue may affect your career, your relationships at work, and whether you don't mind other people knowing about it.
The subject of gossiping is another intriguing facet of relationships between coworkers. Even while it typically has a negative connotation, there are situations when gossip can be beneficial for settling conflicts, understanding others' needs, or addressing issues that are harder to perceive unless they are widely discussed. However, if gossip is used to disparage others, it can be damaging. If you are discussing a personal situation that has impacted you with someone else, that type of gossip can create connections and be positive. Some research suggests that when we talk negatively about a person, those listening associate a part of what we are saying to us and not just the other person. Using gossip in a negative way with colleagues may put an individual at risk for being perceived in a negative light. You should assess the topics of the conversations you are having at work to make sure they are not reflecting poorly on you.
Consistency is an essential part of creating trustworthy relationships with colleagues. Consistency is about focusing on making sure the people you work with can trust that you will do what you say and if you cannot you will give them adequate notice. Consistency not only means meeting deadlines and reaching goals, but also being able to clearly identify when you have taken on too many tasks or need to extend a deadline. Your colleagues should be able to trust that you are able to manage your workload, not just that you will always do what is given to you how it is given to you and that you have a rigid routine. Another challenge that can arise with coworker relationships is finding ways to connect while working in a hybrid or remote setting. It's crucial to establish various channels of communication with your coworkers when you don't share a physical workspace, as well as to set up time for online meetings where you can chat before starting work.
Working with a coworker you don't get along with might be challenging, but it's important to try to modify your mindset. If we describe our coworker as difficult, we are placing the coworker as the problem; but, if we describe the coworker as difficult, we are positioning our relationship with the coworker as the problem. This allows us to see beyond the person and identify the relationship as the root of our problems. We may be experiencing issues as a result of how we react to and manage situations. While we might not be able to influence others, we can modify how we react to and perceive their behavior.
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5 Ways How an Outdated Web Design Can Hurt Your Business
Your company’s digital identity is its website. It can either help or hurt your company’s first impression. Having a website that is up-to-date, user-friendly, and visible on search engines helps you get more relevant and high-quality leads. To remain relevant to their customers, businesses must adapt to the market. To keep up with any changes to your business, you will need to keep updating the content and design of your website. You should think about updating your website if it does not accurately reflect what you have to offer. We’ll go over 12 ways that a dated website design can hurt your business in this blog post. Let’s start.
What makes a website design outdated?
Your website serves as the first point of contact for potential customers. If your website design out-of-date and out-of-date, it gives the impression that you don’t have enough time to concentrate on a crucial aspect of your business. It suggests that you do not care about the requirements of your customers. Within 0.05 seconds, visitors form an opinion about a website. They shouldn’t see one that doesn’t match your current brand, customer engagement, or business personality.
5 Ways How a Poor or Outdated Website Design Can Hurt Your Business
You’re losing sales
It is entirely possible for your website to simultaneously generate and lose sales. Regardless of the design of your website, some visitors will always convert, but that doesn’t mean you’re selling as much as you could. Websites are judged by how they look, and visitors may leave if the design is out of date.
Until you hire a web designer to update your web design, you won’t know how many sales you’re losing. Hiring a web designer who also offers high-quality web hosting that can handle more traffic is helpful when you get a new design. Your server will be put under a greater load as sales and traffic rise, and you do not want it to crash.
Outdated imagery
It is essential to select images that have a positive impact on the goals of the website when making a new one. When you need an image quickly but don’t have the resources, stock photography can be helpful for blogs and social media. When you use your images for your website, it can feel more like your brand and vision are being represented.
Broken links make visitors bounce
Have you got a website that has a lot of internal links? If you delete any of your pages without redirecting them, you have broken links over time. This indicates that when people click on links, they receive an error.
Even though having a lot of broken links is worse, visitors can be lost with just one. When your website’s design is updated, it’s a good time to check all of your links on each page to make sure they work. Unless you used relative links, you will need to update all of your internal links if your link structure changes as a result of the update.
Inadequate responsive design
Your website can adapt to the size of the screen on which it is being viewed thanks to responsive web design. For a better user experience and SEO results, websites must be formatted for various screen sizes. Mobile devices account for roughly half of all global web traffic, according to Statista. You will lose a lot of visitors to your website if it does not respond to mobile devices.
Difficult to update
For your website, there are many different content management systems (CMS), and you can even have one made just for your business. Each content management system (CMS) has its own set of features, and some are better suited to particular sectors than others. A new web design and content management system might be in order if you find it difficult to add content, create new pages, or find that you are unable to make improvements with the resources at your disposal.
Is your website’s design out of date? Are you unsure which design elements are stifling the expansion of your website?
Dig Panda is here to help! We have a group of designers with a lot of experience who can help you make a new website or update your existing one. For a consultation, contact us right away.
#Web Designing Course#Website Designing Course in Nagpur#web design classes#web designing institute#Web Design Fees#Web Design syllabus
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