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#you've ignored that crumbling wall long enough kid
casspurrjoybell-27 · 9 months
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Claimed by the Beast - Chapter 3c
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*Warning Adult Content*
Alpha Energy - Part 3
- Everett -
Everett is standing by the dresser munching noisily on a bag of chips while Knox remakes the bed.
Had they met under different circumstances, Everett would've gleefully thrown himself at Knox.
The man is his exact type, tall enough to climb, muscular for days, sinfully attractive and badass to the core.
It's a shame the universe or whoever the hell is in charge, brought them together like this.
They're two opposites who teeter on the line of ripping each other's heads off instead of their clothes.
Only time will tell if they can ever become friends.
"How did you become a member of a motorcycle club?"
Everett moves to plop down on the left side of the bed after Knox has finished with it.
"Can anyone join, or is it like an invitation-only type of thing?"
"You're suddenly interested in getting to know me now?"
Knox raises a confused brow while stepping out of his sweatpants, revealing a pair of fitted black boxer briefs.
It perfectly outlines his drool-worthy package, making it difficult to ignore.
Everett almost chokes on the mountain of chips in his mouth.
"What? You've already seen me with less on."
"Yeah but... but..." Everett stammers, looking visibly flustered as he forces his eyes upward. "Is that really what you plan on sleeping in tonight? At least put on a shirt or something out of respect for me."
"You fucking kidding me? I normally sleep naked."
"Oh."
"Right, so consider the underwear as me doing you a favor."
The enormous bed dips a little as Knox gets settled underneath the covers.
He grabs the remote off the nightstand and turns on the flat-screen TV hanging on the wall, mindlessly flipping through the channels.
He eventually stops at the news, then rests his arms behind his head, his eyes glued forward.
"So, uh, you're just not going to answer my questions?" Everett mumbles.
Knox continues to pretend that he doesn't exist, so Everett loudly crumbles the now empty bag of chips into a firm ball and then tosses it at Knox's head.
"Asshole."
It hits him right on the nose.
"Jeez, fuck... How much more childish can you get?" Knox exhales sharply, rolling his eyes.
He captures the ball and shoots it into the wastebasket on the other side of the room, making the shot.
Everett scoffs, mockingly.
"I became a member by making a name for myself in the streets and putting in the work required. To answer your other question, it's a no on both parts. Happy now?"
"Not really. You didn't tell me shit. Details would've been nice."
"The less you know, the better."
Everett glances over to meet Knox's dark gaze, the tension in the room popping like fireworks on the 4th of July.
"When can I go home? You still haven't said how long you plan on keeping me here."
"A few days," Knox answers. "They're running Shaun's story on the news right now. I want to see how The Jackals plan to respond before sending you home. If you end up being a causality of war, it'll be on my conscience. I don't want that. So are you sure you've told me everything that I need to know?"
Everett nods, breaking eye contact as his freckled cheeks tint red.
"Can you please stop looking at me like that? It's annoying as hell."
"How am I looking at you?"
Knox's voice drops to a level that it shouldn't as he sits up in bed, staring intensely at Everett.
It's clear he gets a kick out of teasing the boy.
"Tell me how and I'll stop. Maybe."
"Forget it. Let's just go to sleep."
Everett gets up to turn off the lights before laying back down on top of the comforter.
He faces away from Knox and curls into a ball, staring at the closet door.
"I don't like sleeping with background noise. Are you going to leave the TV on all night?"
"Yeah. I can't sleep when it's too quiet," Knox admits.
"Got any more questions to ask me? I feel like talking now."
"I feel like sleeping now," Everett says.
Knox chuckles, playfully thumping the back of Everett's head.
"I have little patience for brats, just so you know. It's a wonder how that Jackal put up with your smart mouth for this long. If you were mine, I'd have long bent you over my knee. Wouldn't be able to sit right for a week."
"Oh my God..." Everett shudders from the sweet chill that creeps up his spine, courtesy of the filthy images Knox has implanted in his head. "You are so gross."
"More like too honest." Knox shifts behind him, lying back down. "So, what were you and Red running your mouths about before I arrived?"
"You mean Josie from the kitchen?"
"Yeah. I call her Red."
"We weren't talking about much," Everett says. "Though she did try to convince me you all weren't a raging group of savage murderers. I didn't believe it until after she told me the story of how you all saved her. Wasn't expecting to hear that."
"I'll let you in on a not-so-little secret," Knox says. "Most MCs make their money through illegal means. But, for the right price, The Fallen Angels will do a little extra on the side, including rescuing a filthy rich CEO's daughter from a crazed drug kingpin."
"How noble of you," Everett sarcastically replies. Knox laughs. "Then what's the reason for all the half-naked women running around here? One girl literally had her tits out when I reached the kitchen. I think a few of them might've been fans of yours."
"I'm not interested," Knox says all too quickly,and Everett doesn't miss it. "Many are patch whores looking to get claimed by a member. The others are friends of the club who simply have nowhere else to go. Gavin lets them cook and clean for free housing."
Everett turns around at that.
"And you guys don't ever… you know, force them to do any sexual favors in exchange?"
"Fuck no," Knox snaps, causing Everett to flinch. "Violating a woman will not only get your ass beat to the brink of death but you'll also get booted from the club and all its chapters. My brothers and I may very well be savages, just not in that way."
"I believe you. Sorry for suggesting otherwise."
Everett's cheeks flare with embarrassment.
He swiftly changes the subject.
"I saw your tattoo in the shower earlier. What's the meaning behind it?"
Knox doesn't immediately respond, almost looking as if he's debating with himself about whether he wants to answer.
Then he does.
"It's in remembrance of my mother. I lost her several years back."
"Oh, shit..." Everett frowns. "I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Thanks. My mother was an amazing woman."
Knox smiles and this one does the job of tugging at Everett's heartstrings.
"She loved angels and used to keep little figurines scattered around the house when I was a kid. She was the only angel in my corner back then, so I got the tattoo to always keep her with me."
"It's really beautiful, Knox. I'm sure she would've loved it."
Everett gives the man a genuine smile, unconsciously reaching over to grab his hand.
Their eyes meet and the mood shifts yet again as Knox quietly studies Everett's face, searching deeply for something that Everett isn't sure he even has.
The sounds coming from the television gradually fade out when Knox slowly intertwines their fingers.
An innocent act, but still so intimate.
Knox licks his lips before speaking again, throwing Everett's pounding heart into overdrive.
"You're a dangerous one, aren't you?"
"Me?" Everett swallows hard. "Dangerous in what way?"
"All the ways."
Knox's eyes remain on Everett's, his thumb lightly stroking the back of Everett's hand.
How can something feel so good and so wrong at the same time?
"We should, uh... you know, get some sleep. It's late."
Everett pulls his hand away and instantly regrets doing so.
He sighs and turns back over to face the closet.
"Goodnight, Knox."
"Goodnight Kitten."
"You just had to ruin the moment, didn't you?" Everett grumbles, simultaneously fighting the smile that's threatening to break through. "I don't like being called that, by the way. I know I don't look it sometimes but I'm a grown man, not some dainty little feline."
Knox's laughter shakes the bed.
"No, that's exactly what you are. A dainty little kitten with a temper."
"I fucking hate you."
"For now."
Everett doesn't waste his breath replying with another snarky comment.
He roughly fluffs out his pillow, closes his eyes and silently prays for a better tomorrow. It's all he can do at this point.
Hope and pray he makes it out of this mess unscathed.
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i-need-air · 3 years
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"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.
Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;
Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;
Word count: 4.5k;
[ Part 2 ];
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"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.
Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.
She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.
"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.
Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.
Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.
And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.
Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.
Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.
Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.
"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.
"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."
"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.
"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."
"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.
With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"
"Woah—" that surprised her.
"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.
Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.
"He comes here from time to time—" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.
Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.
"How even—"
"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"
"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.
"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"
"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.
"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.
"Don't make fun of me."
"You say it too~"
"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.
"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.
"Of course. Which reminds me—!"
"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.
She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.
"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"
Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.
Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.
Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.
Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.
"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.
Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.
It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.
"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.
"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.
"What!? Who?!" Confusion.
"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.
"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.
"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.
"Is that Midori?" Surprise.
"The nerve—" Anger.
"Midori from—" Disbelief.
"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.
He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.
Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.
There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.
"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"
He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.
"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.
"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.
"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."
Another set of gasps filled the room.
"Bakugou!"
One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.
Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.
"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.
"He's such a brute."
"What a mean guy—"
"She's crying!"
"Fucking asshole."
He gritted his teeth.
After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.
"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.
"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.
And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.
And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.
Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.
With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.
It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.
He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.
"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.
"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.
Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.
You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.
"Heard you were talkin' shit."
Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.
He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.
Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.
"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.
"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.
"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.
"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"
"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.
"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.
"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.
Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—
"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"
A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.
"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.
Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.
"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"
"I—... Say what now?"
"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"
No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."
Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.
"Or what?"
"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.
"Hey, extra!"
Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—
"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.
"What's it to you?"
Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?
You scoffed.
"They're scratches, dude."
"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.
Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.
"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.
"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.
Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?
A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.
And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—
"You. Sit."
Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.
You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.
"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.
Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.
"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.
"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"
You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.
Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.
"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.
A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.
Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—
"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.
You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.
Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—
Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—
How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...
"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.
But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—
"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.
"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.
"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"
"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.
You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.
"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.
"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"
"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."
"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"
"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.
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Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.
Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!
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druigswhores · 3 years
Text
what died didn’t stay dead
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(originally posted by vormirjumper)
dedicated to @starsvck and @artipotter hope u enjoy this <333
summary: the last thing you remember was fainting in wakanda thinking you saw your own fingertips turn to dust only to wake up in a world where natasha romanoff no longer existed. inspired by marjorie by taylor swift
content warning: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, set after endgame, angst, mentions of death, trauma, their relationship ending on a bad note, trust issues & previous steve x nat, (WANDAVISION SPOILERS AT THE END)
‘моя любовь’ = ‘my love’ in russian <3
REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (please lmk if anyone written something similar to this! & if you want more nat content lmk!)
masterlist
PART TWO
You forced your eyes open.
Pulling yourself up from the ground you glanced at your arms in confusion. You swore you saw your own hands turn to dust before fainting. You glanced around to take in your surroundings eyes widening in shock as you saw the hundreds of Wakandan's you fought beside minutes ago appearing out of dust. You stared speechless as you watched people materialise out of thin air, the dust forming into fingers, then a whole hand and eventually becoming a person who's mirroring your exact reaction.
You felt guilty about the first thought that came across your mind.
'Is Nat okay?' You panicked while rushing to look around, ignoring how you spent the last few years loathing her to hide your heartbreak.
You were an avenger since the beginning. The two of you were on the same team during the airport fight which wasn't surprising due to your history together. Despite the slight age difference between the two of you, your personalities worked well together which is why you got along well, so well in fact that those platonic feelings you thought you had for her developed into something more and somehow you found yourself in her bed many times in her arms with your bodies pressed against one another's, struggling to catch your breath, bliss written all over your face. Your legs were intertwined with hers as you embraced the warmth radiating off her. You refused to acknowledge the unspoken tension in the atmosphere due to the fear of speaking out about your feelings and end up ruining what you had. You couldn't help but let the insecurities build up as you gently caressed her cheek, her eyes met yours back in adoration, full of what could've been love.
But you knew she once looked at him in the same way.
"I love holding you in my arms моя любовь." She muttered, as she stroked your hair gently, you hummed in response, not trusting your own voice. What you both had felt right, you didn't want to ruin it, you didn't want to label what you had together due to the job you both have. Being an avenger doesn't exactly mean stability, anything could happen.
You remember the panic you felt when Ultron took her, the chance of losing her filled you with dread, but you also had faith. You knew how strong Natasha was. Your faith gave you strength and it kept you alive, Nat admired that about you.
The two of you fit together well, whether it was on the field or outside of the field. You could predict each other's moves and although telepathy isn't either of your powers, you know what the other was thinking. You made her better. You helped her wipe out the red in her ledger and when everyone's files was exposed to the globe you were right there by her side comforting her as she feared the reaction from everyone. You were there for her when nobody was and you stood by her side no matter what. Those feelings were reciprocated, you knew Natasha would've done anything for you.
She would even sacrifice herself for the possibility of you coming back.
Then the Accords happened and Nat betrayed the Accords, ending up on the run with Steve, Sam, Wanda and Vision. You were left alone at the compound with an injured Rhodey.
"How could you do this?" You spat out, voice full of hatred as you watched Natasha let Steve and Bucky get away. Your pistol shook in the palm of your hands, pointed directly at Natasha who lowered her own onto the ground, allowing herself to be defenceless.
"It's not that easy моя любовь, you out of all people should understand that." She explained, and you scoffed in response. The pet-name which once caused a flutter in your stomach now fuelling the fire that's building up. All the insecurities you felt during your relationship suddenly turned to hatred. You should've expected this, you should've expected that after all this time she would've chosen Steve over you.
"I guess you'll never change." You responded flatly, admitting defeat. You silently walked passed her and climbed out of the rubble that was created, allowing a wall to be in between the two of you not knowing you tore a piece of her heart as you did so.
That was two years ago.
You thought you'd never have to see her for a long time. You hoped you wouldn't have to see her. Clearly things never go the way you wanted it to go as you found yourself staring back at the person who once owned your heart.
"Well, you guys look like crap." Rhodey teased, wrapping the fellow avengers in his arms as you stood to the side, awkwardly watching the scene in front of you while fidgeting with your fingers. The atmosphere in the compound was comforting, it's been a long time since you've heard so much laughter in one room despite the war that's brewing.
Natasha, who was now blonde but as gorgeous as ever, hesitantly approached you. The two of you stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the next move.
"Romanoff." You nodded, greeting her before moving away to greet the other Avengers, missing the way she muttered the now bittersweet name she specifically picked you.
"моя любовь..."
Did she really love you? Or was it just for revenge? You believed that love blinded you, you managed to convince yourself that your love wasn't enough for her and that's why she left you. Your relationship with her died. It was over. You thought you buried it all, all your feelings. But you were wrong, when your eyes met her green eyes all those feelings came back to life, flowing through your veins.
After all this time you still loved her.
But your feelings for her weren't the only thing you couldn't bury.
Within an hour of reuniting with the Avengers, the team found themselves on the quinjet travelling to Wakanda. You wouldn't have said this out loud but you had faith that everything would be okay, Nat was finally by your side after all these years.
You felt as though nothing could go wrong.
That was a couple hours ago you estimated, you glance at Wanda who appeared a couple feet away from you the tears were evident on her face.
"Where is he?" Wanda cries out, clenching her fists, you saw the scarlet red energy glowing around her. You knew she must've been talking about Vsision who should've been on the ground next to her. "Wha- why does everything look different?" You realised, noticing the damages caused by the battle has disappeared. The grass was greener as ever. The corpses of the creatures you fought were no longer on the ground.
It looked as though the battle never took place.
You ran over to Wanda, helping her up from the ground when you hear someone call your name out. "That sounds like Sam." Wanda points out as the two of you held each other up.
"Wanda!" Sam called out.
"Come on, we gotta go! They need us! The fights not over yet!" He shouts from a distance, the two of you made your way to the direction you heard his voice come from, you saw all the superheroes surrounding him and a man in a red cloak. "What about Nat? Or Rhodey?" You questioned, looking for them in the crowd. You missed the sympathetic glance the man shot you before waving his hands up in the air, creating a yellow ring in the air that transformed into a portal.
"We're going to fight beside them right now." Sam confirms before flying through the portal.
The compound was completely destroyed. Your home was crumbling apart. Thor looked completely different, Tony had grey hair and Natasha was nowhere to be seen.
You wanted to finally tell her, tell her that you loved her with all of your heart.
You fought beside hundreds of Avengers that day, but you couldn't help searching for one specific Avenger. You ran over to Clint who was on the ground struggling to fight off a bunch of creatures, saving him within moments.
"Thanks kid." He pant, out of breath from all of the fighting. You smiled at him in response, reaching your hand out for him to take which he gratefully took, lifting himself up. "Have you bumped into Nat on the battlefield yet?" You asked, hopeful. There were hundreds of people fighting so you didn't expect to find her easily. The smile on Clint's face fell.
In that moment he relieved everything that happened moments ago. Flying to Vormir with Natasha, climbing the cliff with her, reminiscing about Budapest. And the way he witnessed her body hit the ground, the crack echoing so loudly he managed to hear it more than just once. He glanced down the cliff and saw her lifeless body faced towards his.
His closest friend. The person he trusted with his entire life. The person he named his son after. The Godmother of his kids.
Gone.
Just like that.
"I need to do this for her Clint, she's моя любовь." Nat whispered to him before smiling back at the oldest friend she had, pushing away from the cliff and inevitably falling to her death.
You found out what happened to Natasha, hours after.
The Avengers won, but at the cost of the lives of the people you cared the most about, the person you'd do anything for and the person who owned your heart the minute you met them. Clint broke the news to you, he felt as though you deserved to hear it from him.
"She loved you till the very end." He finished after explaining what happened on Vormir. You felt as though you couldn't breathe, like your soul was crushed and pulled away from you.
Natasha Romanoff was dead and there was nothing you could do about it.
She never got to hear that you felt the same towards her.
"I didn't think the ending to be so soon." You struggled to hold back a sob, holding the letter Clint gave you tightly in your arms. Scott somehow found a letter on the ground while trying to save Clint, it was slightly damp and covered in mud. But it was written for you in Natasha's handwriting.
You couldn't bring yourself to read the letter even nine days after the blip. You had to live in a world without her, a world where people drag her name through the mud even though she is the reason they're still standing. You adjust to a world without Natasha Romanoff and reading a letter she wrote for you months ago wouldn't help.
You regretted everything. You regret spending those last few years in anger, you should've stayed with her, you could've told her how much she meant to you. You could've told her you loved her, you could've held her in your arms once more. You would do anything to have her in your arms once again.
Sometimes it felt as though she was still there, laughing at something she saw on the TV. You always felt her presence around you after she passed away, it felt as though she never died. It felt as though a part of her lives through you.
You sat in the passenger seat of Wanda's car, staring at the Sword logo plastered on the side of the building, you could feel the letter in your back pocket, dying to be read. Wanda made her way back to the car, face flared in anger, tears threatening to spill.
"Wanda?" You called out as she got into the car, turning on the ignition but not pulling out of the car park. She sniffled quietly, wiping her eyes before glancing back to you. "I saw him." She responded, her eyes glancing to the folded paper on the backseat of the car, she could see the faint colour of red that was in the shape of a heart. "But they're not letting him have a funeral." You realised, looking back at your friend, heartbroken. "I figured at least one of them deserved a funeral, it's not fair. It's not fair that the world can just go on like nothing happened and we don't get to mourn the people we lost." Wanda rants, pulling out of the parking lot and beginning to drive.
"They both deserve a funeral." You agreed solemnly, remembering the fact that Natasha's body is at the bottom of a cliff in space in 2014.
"Where are we going now?" You asked, wanting to distract yourself from that thought. You felt as though you and Wanda were left to mourn your loved ones alone as the rest of the avengers scattered across the country.
"To the only thing I have left of him."
The two of you sat in silence as Wanda drove, you stared at the shrubbery outside the window before closing your eyes and resting your head on the window, allowing yourself to drift off.
It felt like it was only seconds later when you felt the car turn harshly, you opened your eyes and glanced around in confusion when you saw that you pulled into a quaint town, you had only just missed the town sign plastered with the words "West View." You watched the pedestrians walking by, noticing how some of them sat on their own with no one to comfort them similarly to you and Wanda.
The two of you pulled up to a plot of land with the foundation of a house on the ground, it looked at though the house never had the chance to get completed.
"Stay in the car, I won't take long." Wanda reassured you before reaching towards the back of the car to grab the folded up sheet of paper and getting out of the car. You nodded, staring at the built house next to the plot of land.
Your mind wanders as you stare at the home. You think about Natasha. You think about the future you could've had with her, living together in a quaint home like the one in front of you. No stress about being an avenger, just the two of you and your family. You softly smile as you imagine Natasha's reaction to wanting to adopt 5 cats, knowing she was more of cat person. You imagine holding her hand while walking down the street and watching movies with her in your shared bed. You wanting to stay in for the day and watch movies to ignore the real world outside and her letting you.
You think about what could've been.
A heart wrenching scream snaps you out of your thoughts, you rush out of the car and look for Wanda but is blinded by a scarlet red light that knocks you unconscious.
Your eyes open on command.
The room you stood in was black and white. It was a nicely decorated living room with a dining room connected to it, you couldn't pinpoint which decade the interior was from, too preoccupied by the woman standing in front of you.
Although the lack of colour in them, you could recognise those eyes from anywhere, that smile that you've wished to see was right in front of you. The dress she wore matched the decade and decor of the room, her hair curled up neatly. Natasha stood in front of you, reaching her hand out towards you waiting for you to take it.
You hesitantly reach out towards her, happiness flooding your emotions. She pulls you closer to her, welcoming you into a hug. The palm of her hands are warm as they rested on your back, you could feel her heartbeat as you laid your head on her chest, melting in her arms.
"Welcome home моя любовь."
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levithestripper · 3 years
Text
Hello My Old Heart
a/n: I felt it was only right to commemorate the final chapter of Attack on Titan with an angst fic about the last chapter. listen to Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos while reading for the full experience!
✩ warnings: chapter 139 spoilers, talk of character death. ✩
✩ taglist: @myglitteringstardust @alicchi @sleepysnk @waywardsongbird3 ✩
✩ If you want to be added to a taglist, fill this out! ✩
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Hello, my old heart, how have you been?
Footsteps clacked against the stone ground. The steam cleared, showing off Mikasa gently cradling Eren’s severed head. Mikasa was disturbingly calm. As if the trauma of it all desensitized her to the realities of Eren’s death. That she’s never going to be able to see that cute kid he was again. Or hear the determined sound of his voice, like when he finally mastered his broken ODM Gear. Or hear his laughter after pulling a prank on Jean. It’s like she still thought he was here. Eren did everything in his power to keep her safe, to keep her alive. To keep them all alive.
Eren told her that he wants her to forget about him when he dies. Wanted her to throw away that old red scarf of hers, to truly leave him behind. Leave him behind, dead and cold in his grave. To forget about him and move on with her life. To find someone so much better, someone so much better for her than he could ever be. Eren loved her with all of his heart. Loved her more than himself at some points. He built up walls around her to keep her safe, to keep her safe from anyone that tried to hurt her.
Are you still there inside my chest?
Armin crumbled to the floor in front of her, sobs wracking his body. His brother was dead. His brother was dead. His brother was dead. His decapitated head was sitting right in front of him. His head should still be on his body! Eren should still be here! He has to still be alive, what is he going to do without him? Eren needs to be here, he needs his brother! Eren was always there to pick him up, to push him forwards, gave him confidence when he was bullied and made fun of. What was he going to do without him now? Eren was the whole reason why he pursued that stupid, stupid dream of his. Armin clutched his brother's head against his chest, hunched over as he wailed. Thick tears streamed down his face, dripping down his chin, some even getting in his mouth. His blond hair stuck to his forehead, matted down with sweat and dirt. Why does all of his family leave him alone? Why is he always alone in this world?
I've been so worried, you've been so still
Barely beating at all
Eren used to sit under that tree and talk with Armin for hours, just as long as they were both back home before dinnertime. Armin would bring his book and read to him, talking all about the oceans full of sand, water so salty that no merchant could collect it all. Sometimes, Eren would bring the action figures his father bought for him when he went on trips to the Capitol. They’d run around and laugh till the sunset, dreaming of the day that they both could see the pictures in Armin’s book for real.
When the Survey Corps finally made it to the sea was the last good memory they all collectively had together. Back when everyone was still alive. Back when Sasha and Hange were around before Levi was injured. Before Eren became the monster he ended up as. Armin often found himself looking back at it, remembering when he sat in the shallow water, laughing with Mikasa and freaking out over sea creatures with Eren. He remembered Jean and Connie dunking each other under the waves, gasping when they swallowed some and found out how salty it was. How Levi was still looking after and protecting Hange from injuring herself again. Oh, if he could only go back to those days. He missed those days, seeing Sasha always smiling so brightly, listening to Hange frantically going on and on about a theory they had.
He thinks back to their days in training, how young they all were still. How young and naive they were to the things ahead of them. When Jean was still an asshole when Marco was still alive. Before Reiner, Annie, and Bertolt were all out as traitors. They were so, so ignorant to the world around them, to what was going on. But he wouldn’t have had it any other way. If given the chance, he wouldn’t have done anything differently.
Oh, don't leave me here alone
Don't tell me that we've grown
After Eren’s funeral, Jean had pulled Armin off to the side, wanting to reminisce about the old days.
“Do you remember that one time in our third year of training, right before we graduated, the prank Marco pulled on me?” Jean asked with a chuckle. They were sitting where the Yeager household used to be. It was still in shambles, the roof was still caved in, cobblestone porch crumbling as they walked on it. They sat on the edge of it, feet dangling, soles of their shoes scraping the dirt. “He filled my pillowcase with and bed sheets with itching powder, so when I got up in the morning I’d itch myself raw from how much he used. When we had to line up for roll call that morning, I couldn’t stop moving so Shadis made me run until I passed out.”
Armin nodded, rolling a pebble around in the palm of his hands. “That was a fun day. I’ve never seen someone strip that fast before. You came back and were practically throwing your uniform off as you ran to the pond right outside of camp.” He looked up at him, the smallest of smiles on his face. They were both dressed in suits, white dress shirts, and black ties, with matching shiny back dress shoes. Jean’s hair was pulled back into a short ponytail, a little tuft of fluffy hair on the back of his head. He had shaved his undercut again, looking a little bit like his old fifteen-year-old self again. Jean had shaved Armin’s undercut as well, helping him clean up his look a bit.
“Oh! Or that time when I dared Eren to get Captain Levi to crack a raw egg on his own head?” Armin laughed softly, smiling up at Jean as he spoke. “Eren-Eren he walked up to him and handed him the egg, you know? And said ‘Hey, Captain Levi! I need you to hold out your hand for me! Now close your eyes!’ And Captain actually did it! Then Eren positioned his hand above his head and told him to let go!” Jean had a huge grin spread across his face, one that Armin hadn’t seen in a while. He missed it. It was nice to finally hear Jean laughing again. It was nice seeing the little crinkles that form in the corner of his eyes when he smiles too hard. Little lines were coming in around his mouth now too. He seemed so much older than he used to.
“Remember right before graduation, the night before the Trost attack, when we all snuck into the girls' barracks and had a sleepover? You tried so hard to sleep the closest to Mikasa’s bunk.” Armin laughed this time, his eyes shining again if you looked real hard. “To think that was the last normal night we had before everything changed. The last night we still had everyone around. Before Marco died.” Jean looked down at his lap, playing with his right hand. “I know he was cremated, but did you ever make a memorial of sorts somewhere for him?”
He shook his head solemnly. “I didn’t have the chance. I thought about it, but no place was good enough. Marco deserved so much more than I could give him, I couldn’t find a place that deserved his presence.” He looked up again, turning to face Armin. “His mother made one in her backyard, I might do the same, now that I'm back home."
"I miss him, Jean." Armin wiped at his cheek, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over. "I miss Sasha, I miss Hange, I miss Erwin!" The tears started readily flowing now, dripping off his chin and onto the stone below him. He hiccuped and sniffled, voice wobbly. "I miss my brother, Jean. I want my brother back. Why did they take him from me! I still need him, I-I can-can't do this without him!"
Jean pulled Armin close to his side by his shoulder, rubbing the top of his back, slowly moving up and down to soothe him. "Shhh, shhh. It's okay, it's okay. Let it all out, alright?" Jean rubbed his arm, going back and forth from his arm to his back. "I know, Armin. I miss him too. I miss him too. But it's going to get better. I promise you, it's going to get better. Here, look at me." He placed his index finger under Armin's chin, tilting his head so he's forced to look him in the eyes. "Eren might be gone from this world, but it doesn't mean he left completely. He's still alive here." He pressed his palm to Armin's chest, right over his heart. "He trusted you with saving humanity. He knows he can trust you to keep his memory alive. You'll see them all again when it's your turn to leave. They'll all be there waiting for you. Eren will be right there, holding out his hand for you to take like he did when you were little."
Armin had managed to keep his composure throughout the funeral. He stood up straight, looked forward, and participated without any hesitation. Although if you looked at his face, you could see the cracks in his mask. Could see the tears looming in the distance, how his straight face wanted to fade into a shaky frown. You could see how hard he wanted to break down and cry. How he wanted to collapse onto his knees and beg for whoever was up above to bring Eren back to him. Mikasa, on the other hand, was a mess. She had her scarf wrapped up around her face, covering her mouth. Her tears made the fabric discolored and soppy.
“Tha-Thank you, Jean. You alwa-always know what to say to make me feel better.” He chuckled sadly. “You’re too good at making me feel better. I shouldn’t be falling apart like this.” His hiccuping started to stop, tears slowing as well. Armin took Jean’s hands in his own, rubbing his thumbs against the meat of his palms. “Thank you for always being here for me.” He smiled up at him the best he could.
Jean enveloped Armin’s hands in his own, completely dwarfing his. “Don’t ever apologize to me about your emotions. Ever. They’re expected to happen in times like this, okay? It’s okay for you to cry even when the seems to be no reason to.” He stroked his thumbs over the backs of Armin’s hands. “I’ll always be here for you, okay? No matter what. Call me and I’ll come running.”
For having loved a little while
Oh, I don't wanna be alone, I wanna find a home
And I wanna share it with you
After a while, Jean and Armin went back to where the funeral had taken place. Mikasa was still there, waiting for them to return. From there, they and the rest of their family walked behind the trio, up to the tree on that hill Eren loved so much. It was sunny out, just like how it was when they were little. Accept this time, there wasn’t a giant wall blocking Eren’s view anymore.
Reiner and Jean dug Eren’s grave. His casket was deep mahogany, the wood polished and shiny. Although, it was smaller than a normal casket should be. Eren’s head was the only thing they could bury so it was more like a small box. Mikasa was the one to lower Eren into the ground, setting him down gently in the almost six-foot hole. When they filled the dirt back in, it seemed like there was too much dirt to fit the hole they had dug. A large mound of it was piled on top of the grave, too large to put the headstone on yet. Everyone went home after that, heading off to their respective homes to leave Mikasa to grieve in peace.
She remembers the cabin in the woods from her dream with Eren. Remembers how happy they seemed to be together. She wishes that they really could just run away still, run away and live together forever, maybe have a couple of kids too. Eren never talked about having children, but she hoped that he would give her some anyways. Eren would’ve been a good father, better than Grisha, at least.
Mikasa pulled the scarf off from around her neck, clutching it in her hands. All she seemed to be able to do was stare at it, hoping something good would come from it. She stroked the fabric with her dirty thumb, pressing it to her face. It’s almost like she could feel Eren wrapping it around her for the first time again. Could feel him taking her hand as he walked her back to his house for the first time. When she first met Armin, she was holding Eren’s hand too. Seems like he always had a thing for protecting her, even if it was just from possibly walking too far out into the street, huh?
Hello, my old heart
Mikasa stared up at the sky. The sun was out and a few clouds were here and there. These were the kinds of days that Eren loved the most, especially when he was little. When his mother called him inside for dinner, he’d beg to eat outside, or at least if he and Mikasa could eat outside. More often than not, he was forced inside to sit at the table with the rest of his family. That kid could never be contained, always wanted to be running somewhere, exploring something, finding something new, it didn’t matter what it was. Just mattered that he had Mikasa with him.
It's been so long
At this point, she barely remembered her parents. Her earliest memory was when Eren came and saved her, sweeping her off her feet in the most ten-year-old boy way possible. She remembers that rush of power standing in that house. Thinking to herself, why is my body moving on my own like this? Why, why does my head hurt so suddenly? Where’s mom and dad? Why’d they have to leave so soon? Then after that, all that's there is Eren. Ten-year-old Eren, twelve-year-old Eren, fifteen-year-old Eren, nineteen-year-old Eren. All with a shining light behind him. A proud look on his face, a determined expression. A face that tells you everything is going to be okay, that he’s going to fix everything for you to keep you safe.
Since I've given you away
There was no more Yeager family anymore. All of them were gone. She doesn’t know if she can even consider herself a Yeager. Carla always said she was her daughter, but she never really embraced it. But if the Yeager’s aren’t here to tell their stories, who will?
After all, he became the devil so she could become an angel. And what kind of angel would she be if she didn’t live? She fought, she won, now she can live. She doesn’t have to be strong anymore. She sniffled softly, hands coming up to her face, covering her eyes. Tears came soon after, pooling in the palms of her hands and pulling out from the sides. Her body shook slightly from her sobs, her back quivered and her shoulders shuddered from the intensity of them. Her knees got pulled up to her chest, her head moving to rest on them. “…I can’t believe you’re gone for real this time, Eren… You said you’d wrap this scarf around me every time I asked, now how will you?”
And every day, I add another stone, to the walls I built around you
To keep you safe
Squawking of birds could be heard from above. A group of Arctic Jaeger’s were circling the tree, crying out their songs for one another. One of them flew down closer to Mikasa, landing on top of Eren’s grave. It looked over at her, chattering softly. The bird hopped up and down the best it could, trying to get her attention. It flapped its wings, moving over to sit on the crest of her knee. Its beak nudged her hand, making Mikasa look at it. The bird tilted its head back and forth at her, seemingly trying to smile. The bird bobbed its head, leaning in to press the side of its head to her cheek. It seemed like it wanted to wipe her tears away, but unable to since it didn’t have hands to cup her face with, or thumbs to stroke the apples of her cheeks. Mikasa held the bird close, carefully stoking its wings and back. “Thank you for wrapping this scarf around me, Eren.”
The bird wiggled around until Mikasa let it go, watching it fly off to meet up with its friends in the sky. It chirped a sweet goodbye to her, waiting until Mikasa waved before leaving completely.
Nothing lasts forever
Some things aren't meant to be
But you'll never find the answers
Until you set your old heart free
“Thank you, Eren, for everything.”
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