#you'll pay too
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turns out i can't listen to 1D/their solo career, especially Harry anymore because it makes me emotionally unstable
#I MEAN HARRY IS LIKE HE'S WHISPERING IN MY HEARSSSS#please i need him in my blood#cam's trying to talk#thinking about 1D makes me so emotional damnnn#they're going to pay my therapy#oh and taylor#you'll pay too#because you're billionaire now and you care about your fans well-being pls#😊😊😊#one direction#harry styles#Taylor swift#louis tomlinson
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#cc#art#marketability#art advice#i feel like this can relate to writers too#there are niche markets for both writing and visual art#and “write/draw for yourself and you'll eventually find your audience” can be good advice#but that audience can take a while to find you#and if you don't have financial support (spouse or other family who can handle bills while you write/draw/paint)#you don't always have that time needed to find the audience for your passion projects#and even if you do find them it doesn't mean that audience will be big enough to support you enough to pay your bills#“we need more weird art!” artists need to be able to pay their bills first bcoz weird art doesn't always pay
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( ͡❛ ‿‿ ͡❛)
#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#I've been deep in the trenches. Surviving on moss and dirt and the occasional grenade just to spice it up a bit#life has been very hectic with a (distant) death that im helping with#the second interview for a possible promotion#and work that eats my energy more than it really should (but I can't help to get invested in)#I have tried to keep to a higher standard of words written/edited and it is paying off; im hoping to show you this tomorrow in its entirety#writing id's 101 has been so emotionally draining :') theres these guttural emotions that I don't face often...#really cathartic once they are on page. But agonizing to write-- to live in that moment.#I hope you'll like it. I hope I can finish it quickly too#without devolving into melodrama or that impassive tone I hate#I guess we'll see! [crazy person laugh]#ouroboros spoilers
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living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more
#eliot posts#i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry#just experiencing some Ideations#but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry#ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt''#suicide mention#suicide tw#tw suicide#american healthcare my beloathed#dogshit private insurance my beloathed#also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday#it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level#my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them)#and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it#with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually''#and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program#(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent)#so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down#it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday#and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''
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#nothing is more depressing than working on my cv#because I just don't feel like I have marketable skills#and so many of the writing and research posts I come across on job sites are like ''you'll be working alongside ai''#I even saw a copywriter post that said ''you won't be doing any writing or editing. you job will be to refine and improve ai prompts#so that the ai can more consistently produce the texts we need''#like hello#the person doing that job is literally making themself more obsolete by the day#so here's the plan#I need to take any job that pays vaguely well#and use that money to either do short corses#or save up to go so my masters#that conclusion is inescapable#just. for now I'm still stuck on step 1 : finding a decent job#and (perhaps I'm being too picky) but post covid I do not want to go back into anything in the tourism industry#it's too precarious and honestly just comes down to entertaining rich people which pushes me further left every time i think about it#I considered joining the communist party. but 1) they're still part of the tripartite alliance with the anc... which is a no from me#and 2) communist révolution should spontaneously happen in industrialised countries with surplus wealth when the proletariat arise#south africa does not have surplus wealth nor class consciousness really. it's still filtered through post apartheid racial groupings#which is unhelpful because the black bourgeoisie are not our allies just because they're black#and trying to impose communism in a society without the surplus wealth didn't work out too well throughout the 20th century#so what does that leave you with#parties like cope ? plagued by the same issues as the anc ? no thank you#(I did also study politics btw which is why I've even considered these career paths)#(although I haven't worked in politics or governance since graduation so maybe that doesn't even matter anymore it's been years)#all I want is a job that pays fairly and leaves me with enough free time to do my hobbies#I do not have the grindset I'll admit that#which is why I've enjoyed the art industry#but again. it just comes down to entertaining rich people in the small galleries which is needlessly stressful#and the larger non-commercial galleries and musea aren't hiring atm...#and that's it. rant over I guess since this is the 30th tag
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I would love to hear more about your thoughts on Radiance as a lover 🥰🤲
(And mother if you’re comfortable, the idea’s just making my heart burst)
Aw yeah! I get to jabber on about pixelated women! My favorite past time lol.
Radiance as a lover hc:
♤ Catching her eye, meeting her for the first time and for awhile afterwards while you're mere acquaintances, she comes across as a very intense person. When you catch her eye, she immediately knows she wants you. At first she thinks she just wants you in her bed but as time goes by she realizes it's something more.
♤ She gives you her undivided attention when you speak which is part of the reason why she comes across as intense. If the other fae try to interrupt you or speak over you, Radiance will interrupt them and smoothly bring the conversation back to you in a way that makes the one who interrupted you, embarrassed.
♤ Radience is soooo charming. Smooth and witty, she'll make you laugh easily. She will shower you with compliments and gifts to the extreme. It will make you uncomfortable at first but if you ask her to slow down on all the gift giving, she'll pout and tell you that's just her love language. Very sugar mommy vibes lol.
♤ I do feel like even in an AU world where Radiance isn't power hungry like she is in canon, she has to still have a dark side that she was predisposed to. In canon both Gleam/Longclaw and Radiance grew up in the Sun court but Longclaw is nothing like Radiance, their uncles saw something dark in Radiance and they nurtured it until she became the woman she is. In an AU, the uncles don't exist so she didn't grow up to be cruel but that doesn't mean she's perfect.
♤ There are some behaviors and habits she's going to have to unlearn when she gets with you. She's very overprotective and can be possessive. When she realizes the true depths of her feelings for you, she panics. You became her greatest weakness and in the Sun court, any weakness can and will be eagerly exploited by the nobles. At first she wants to hide you away, keep your relationship a secret, not because she's embarrassed by you but she's scared of what "accident" could fall upon you by the fae.
♤ Eventually your relationship becomes public and she refuses to let anyone treat you as inferior, even if you're human. Though Kieran is the Moon Court ruler, she has a fiery temper, the opposite can be said of Radiance. Though Radiance is of the Sun Court, her anger is subtle and icy. Still smiling at the poor unfortunate fool that spoke ill of you, she'll easily tear their entire world apart with just a couple of sentences.
♤ She tries to "forbid" you from leaving the Sun palace, at first. There are fae that want to get their claws on the Sun princess's consort after all, not to mention the one thousand and one dangerous plants and animals out there in the forest. When that doesn't go over well with you she let's it go but you'll always have 2 if not 3 bodyguards when you set foot outside and she dislikes events that take you outside of the palace. And that protectiveness gets worse when you two have children.
Radiance as a mother:
I couldn't help but picture Radiance holding a mini you (if you play as a feminine mc, there has to be some type of magic that would enable 2 women or a woman and an enby to have a child together, I don't care about canon at this point, magic is magic dammit lol) ANYWAY back to what I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself---I pictured Radiance holding a little one year old mini you in her arms, making funny faces and puffing her cheeks to make yours and her daughter/son burst into laughter. And how bright her smile would be.
♤ She'll happily carry all 3 kids if you can't or don't want to (she wanted more but you talked her down to 3). If you carry her child, she'll be extremely doting and overprotective but if she carries your child, she's gonna be a little bit of a brat at times. I'm talking mood swings for days. Her feet and back hurt and her patience with the court's stupidity is very thin. But it's all worth it once your child is born.
♤ She flourishes being a mother. Doesn't want to put her newborn down for a moment. All the court's schemes and machinations disappear when it's just her and her child. Your child will have anything and EVERYTHING they want
Anyway I think I'll stop here, this is getting quite long lol. Thanks for asking me about my hc and letting me go on and on about a pretty woman. 💕
#You're literally her doll#She loves dressing you up#And having you sit in her lap#Even if you're male or masculine presenting#She's going to drag you into her lap#And stroke your hair and neck#The sex is fire#Being alive as long as she has#It's inevitable#I think she won't take well to you#Trying to break up with her#She'll always have some way to bring you back#That's where some of her darkest sides#Come to play#If she loves you#She loves you forever#And you're gonna love her forever too#Or you'll pay the price#If anyone tries to assassinate you#They will be immediately executed#If a fae flirts with you#Sharp warnings will be administered to the flirter#Dressed in glittering smiles#And if they still persist in chasing after you#They and their entire family will lose everything#But you'll never know#She doesn't come across as a jealous person#choices#Playchoices#Pixelberry
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saw a post one time of someone getting an annotated book as a gift and it's been living in my head rent free imagine bakugo doing that and there being angry scribbles whenever a character is being dumb or cute parts being highlighted
!! i remember seeing that post too! i think it might've been by luna? tho maybe someone else too, if anyone knows, tell me so we can all read it again🥺
but YES GOD!! in his worst handwriting cuz he just scribbles as he goes, at first thinking it wouldn't be anything anyone else would care about, just a habit he picked up from reading all his hero stats and damage report paperwork.
but then when you take a liking to that first book (probs something he just lent you off his shelf), he starts to do it more and more w/ the books he gets for you both. and it's probably coded somehow with the highlights, too.... underlines and circles but hearts and smileys as well (EVEN IF they're small or ugly) ... i'm gonna cry :(((
i also like the thought of him reading your annotated books too... he's the type to pick up whatever you're in the middle of while you're away and just start reading it randomly, all so he can talk to you about it. it's funny if its for school or not his preferred genre, seeing him stand over your desk with his glasses on and a grumpy face bc he's having typical bakugo-esque Thought (TM) about it jaskdlfkajsdf.
(catch him next week in the office citing an academic journal about healing centered engagement LOOOOL.... or at a bookstore w/ kiri looking at the colleen hoover he read a bit of on your tablet and then immediately put down...)
thank u for indulging me w/ this, anon!!
#bakugo#i want him so bad#bakugo with a lotta books in his house always#makes me want to SCREAM#and it's so special too cuz you'll go to the bookstores together and he's like.#not even just slamming his card down but it's like#'thats all u want? are u sure??'#BOYFIE DON'T DO THIS TO ME I'LL FILL THE HOUSE#suddenly he's your sugar d*ddy paying your tuition#and (kids tw) but god forbid u have kids or even nieces and nephews cuz he's buying them whatever books WHENEVER#caitie answers#anon thoughts#gen#anon
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I need the mecha to learn about Yellowstone because they'd have three conclusions:
Oh that's so cool, wow
Hey! We had places similar to this on cybertron! (They do iicr, and they'd start reminiscing about home)
(or, my current thought right now upon hearing the word "Yellowstone" on the TV,) Primus and the thirteen that is fucking terrifying
#maccadam#transformers#yellowstone national park#i love the place and it's pretty and we need to protect it#but#you'd have to pay me good money to get me to go there because it scares me beyond belief#it's not the dormant super volcano part that gets me oh no no no it's the wildlife and the //pools of boiling acid water//#the fact that ah yes you can take a step onto what seems like solid ground and you'll get melted alive way too quickly#i was thinking about this earlier when listening to this one girl talking about how the features regularly have bones in them#it's on Riot's list of ''things xe find super pretty and interesting but also xe're deathly afraid of''#along with fireworks_ thunderstorms_ and fire#i have two entirely different trains of thought in my head right now and they are crisscrossing in impossible ways
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Pros of dating Margaret in RF4 - she's very cute and sweet and all around lovely. She's also the only girl to get a skill exclusive to romancing her, and it is BUSTED. Her healing rainbow wave is the best support move in the game, IMO.
Cons of dating Margaret in RF4 - Unless you get obscenely lucky or choose to save scum a lot, you will NEVER be able to marry her.
#rune factory#rf4#rf4 margaret#to be clear this is a SLIGHT exaggeration. eventually you'll get her FOUR required events. but...#expect it to take so long that there is virtually NOTHING left to do in the game#you can EASILY beat rune prana AND do all the eliza requests before being able to marry margaret#and at that point what is left? trying to gold crown all shipment stuff? that's SO tedious and NOT fun#at that point i can't find the motivation to keep playing and just want to start over#fun fact on my FIRST playthrough of the game - before i knew how everything worked - i dated margaret#i fell in love with her almost instantly and get her 'thoughts lost in the lake' event very early on#we were like 3-4 FP level so it felt like the natural and organic point to switch to calling her Meg#and THEN i got her mini-event right before confessing (successfully! on the first try!) at 7#so not only was i REALLY digging her but the game had given me these lovely coincidences to make it feel RIGHT#it just felt so natural and real to date her and i was so excited to eventually marry her#but then. BUT THEN. literal YEARS passed in game. so many dates. affection WELL PAST 10 hearts.#but her other 3 events eluded me. i got ONE eventually. but my patience ran out.#i didn't necessarily want to be a cheater but i knew the game allowed me to date multiple people with no repercussions#so i started confessing to the other girls. at first just clorica since she was my second fave at the time...#but then xiao pai as well since clorica was NOT biting and i could only take so many platonic just friendsly 'i love you too's#i ended up dating xiao pai 2nd and she was the first person i married. and she's probably my favorite girl now#but i kept a save file where i rejected her because i still held out hope for margaret#in the meantime i decided to go for as much content as possible and aimed to date/marry ALL the girls#and let me tell you - i SUCCEEDED. in ONE file where i initially JUST wanted to marry margaret...#i ended up dating and marrying EVERY OTHER GIRL first. and i STILL never got all the events i needed before finally giving up#i like margaret a lot but marrying her is SUCH a pain. on my recent NEW file i got lucky and got 3 of her events in a single year#so my hopes are up and i chose to date her again. but in my mind and heart i know - i FEAR - her final event will just never proc#anyway take it from me - she's a trap. unless you have the patience of a SAINT you should pursue literally anyone else#thank god none of the dudes cause me similar issues
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people really thinking that planning out your day is a sign of autism...
#this is why self-diagnosis is harmful#it's not that you might land on the wrong label to describe your experience#it's that you'll use the label to describe experiences and behaviors that are not part of that diagnosis#and then everyone else not paying close enough attention start mis-diagnosing day planning as autism too#cursed
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How do you eat Castella?
#Nothing like the Apartment AU after drawing all that food X'D#If you guys pay really close attention you'll notice the song is missing a whole beat#It's because I cut out the second 'Castella hitobako' and realized it broke the flow a little too late#Shhhh don't worry about it folks#Insanity Draws#Insanity's Videos#Insanity of Mojiru#透明な無名世界
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so are we gonna ignore how, besides the promotion of mc donald's from kibum, minho is also going to starbucks? lol unbelievable, the selective attention of this fandom is crazy. all about holding people accountable until it's their favorites. then suddenly you're called a hater if you call them out. have you considered that maybe human lives being lost is more important? mmmmhhhh. i think you have not. also don't come at me with the "they don't know it's not that big in korea" like please... how many times have people sent them informational graphs in korean? and with how much they lurk on sns, you think they wouldn't know? the fact that you go to or buy from a certain brand is a conscious choice. they could at least shut up about those stupid drinks and unethical brands but post about it. is that how you use your powerful platform? okay, well. please do your part in educating them still, instead of just reblogging some gifs and going on with your day like nothing is happening.
#in the words of my friend... you'll pay for your ignorance and lack of empathy in due time so ok#also if you plan on not trying to educate them please unfollow me over this then block me so i will automatically unfollow too#i am not going to put kpop over humanity and moral values#i am done trying to beg people to care about other people you'll get what you give
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i don’t live there anymore so it isn’t doxxing myself to say this. if you come to salem massachusetts during october i am shooting you with a gun
#what do you think you're even gonna fucking see#the handful of relevant artifacts are 1) mostly court documents 2) owned by a single very nice art and history museum that doesn't display#them typically#so what you're gonna do there is spend too much fucking money sitting in ''museums'' that play videos or do staged reenactments at you#for like 30 minutes#and then you're gonna walk through a packed street full of drunk people and spend too much money on some street food#and maybe one of those cute little squat mod witch hats that white women have been enjoying lately#and then maybe you'll pay even more too much money for a ''ghost tour'' where a man in a stupid outfit will lie to you for an hour#and then you will go back to your hotel room which you also paid too much for#and collapse into bed with your sore feet and your aching wallet#and you won't even know how much every downtown resident fucking hates you & dreads your coming every single year#bc you will be too consumed with the thoughts of how you could have acquired all that knowledge from those stupid little videos#or presentations or whatever#through an hour on wikipedia a half-decent documentary and maybe a book if you're really curious#salem massachusetts#just squirrelly things
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I don't hate my job or anything it just feels beneath my skill level especially considering how average the pay is
#I've seen former employee reviews and they say a lot of the same things#like being used as a cleaner more than what our actual role should be i.e. support worker#then you'll be doing sweaty and hard work for a substandard pay#you also need a car too so you have to consider that#it doesn't happen a lot but you'll get some clients that expect you to be a professional cleaner when that's not what we are lol#I'm one of their best staff i know this for a fact#so i know i can do more and get more elsewhere without as much mental and physical effort#i mean i ditched a job that i realistically could have gotten 70k a year at but it was way too stressful and i left#that was working with kids in residential homes taken away from their families#usually gone through several fosters or agencies#so you can imagine what that was like
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How much of a perfectionist are you, when it comes to your own art or writing? If you're not completely happy with a piece, do you still post it, or do you scrap/rework it?
Honestly, if I only posted things I thought were perfect, I would never end up posting anything! That's especially true for any of the daily art challenge ones, since I've only been spending maybe 1-3 hours on most of them.
I feel like anytime you make something, there are always going to be little "defects." I could probably look at anything I've ever posted and nitpick little imperfections. But personally, I'd rather think of those little imperfections are part of the charm! It shows that something is made by a real person instead of a machine, you know?
#ask#I'm not really the kind of person to post something and say “I'm not really happy with it but here it is”#so chances are if I'm not happy with something I drew you'll never actually know!#that's part of why I don't really do commissions too#if someone pays me for something I feel like it has to be worth the cost#if I'm just drawing for fun then who cares if it's imperfect?
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i have decided to take my new job search more seriously after getting literally laughed at... to my face. after asking if being trained in as an inspector would come with a pay raise since that would be doing two jobs as one person. (i currently work in quality documentation - inspectors are part of the quality dept.)
im done. 2 of the 3 past inspectors that have quit put their reason for quitting as "toxic work environment" and they were all like eh its a them problem. like no. i think it might just be a you problem actually. i literally once had my manager write on his calendar "emily was wrong" when i was like whoops i got my information wrong. you were right. but if HE is wrong and I am right about something... well I just have to deal with getting the cold shoulder for the rest of the day (at minimum).
i have recruiters messaging me once a week on linkedin! you think i cant find a job that will pay me more for the work i do right now?? im getting paid almost half what the low end of the average salary is for my job title and description!
like i only after three years now am getting paid what i used to make at my old job!!!
#this happened hours ago#and im still so mad about it#i brought up that there are jobs that pay twice what i make now for the same job#and they were just like you'll be back#the grass isn't always greener#like i dont think im going to take career advice from the 62 y/o#who only now (after taking money out of his 401k!)#is trying to buy his FIRST house#way out in the country too#this man has an hour commute#like somehow hmm i dont think youve been all that successful in your career
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