I MADE IT TO CALIFORNIA AND IT WAS GOOORRGEEOUSSSS. ❤️😍💕

Here's 2 pictures I got. I took many, but only a few made the cut. First is Jellyfish and the second is a photo from the hotel about how they're policies were inspired by ducks. Which was funny so here you go. A nice picture and a fun one. Woooohooo

Child's Play [1]

Bully College!Miguel x Reader

//Bullying, Miguel and Reader are both STEM students, Yandere ,Miguel being rich, and a playboy, Miguel isn't as grumpy as we know he kinda ooc here

No....that can't be him right?

That hairstyle could belong to anyone, it is a bit trendy and you've seen it around but you can't help but feel that shade of brown is familiar...Too familiar

It can't be him, you swear his gonna move onto some different country on a different school on a different place, not here, please, not here...

As more students fill in the classroom and the more you see him talk to his friends, you can't help but notice even smaller details and the more you realize it, the more it your stomach seems to drop.

A medium length scar on his forearm, of course, how could you forget that incident.

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You and Miguel have known since junior high and not in good terms, as far as you remember he was smart for his age and handsome than every guy you see in class, but looks don't always go as far as the eye can see.

Always taking advantage of his rich and popular status to avoid trouble.

He would slam his hands on your locker to get your attention.

Steal food out of the packed lunch you worked hard for yourself.

Made you look like an embarrassment in front of your crush.

And basically made your high school a living hell expeirence, Always dreading to go to school and always dreading what he has in store for you.

One time, You got partnered up in lab works which your teacher announced since last week and you can't help but feel excited for physical lab work instead of doing paperwork but of course someone up above seems to hate you since your partner was none other than Miguel O'Hara himself.

You admit atleast you have someone smart and reliable to work with you but then again how reliable is your bully gonna be.

As you work on your part of the assignment and he works on his but somehow he can't trust on what your doing.

"You know Y/N maybe lab work isn't for you if can't concentrate a bit" Miguel once again spoke out in a harsh whisper so not to disturb the other students but god does it disturb you.

You signed for the third time of this subject. "All im doing is looking at notes, I'm sure as hell I'm concentrating enough" you said as you glance one more time on your notebook then pour a substance into another beaker.

"Forget about lab work, team work doesn't fit your image too" Miguel smirked seeing you getting annoyed with your eyebrows furrowed and a frown forming your lips.

"Look, Miguel, I would appreciate if you would just concentrate on yo-" You tried whispering back but it seems it caught the attention of the teacher who was roaming around.

"Miss Y/N I'm sure your finish with your work if all what your doing is blabbering about" You flinched looking back you see your teacher glaring down at you and beside you Miguel was chuckling.

Curse Miguel and his tendency of getting you into trouble even if it wasn't your fault to begin with, "So-sorry ma'am" You apologized, with that the teacher went back roaming around and instructing students, you look at the clock and you see it's almost time, wanting to finish soon you turn to Miguel.

"Miguel can you lend me the mixture you made?"

"Say please" Miguel smirked as you look at him with annoyance.

"Come on Miguel we're almost out of time we still need to write what we observed" You pleaded, hoping he would relent.

"I'm not hearing any please" Miguel looked at you with a bored expression and you relented even if it means damaging your pride.

"Fine,please Miguel can I have the mixture you made?" you pleaded again

All Miguel did was yawn and looked at you again resting his cheek on his fist.

"Really? That's the best you can do?"

You really didn't have time for this, you stretched your hand out moving his arm out the way and grabbing the beaker. But you didn't carefully calculate your movements since it seemed that you pushed his arm too much it got scratched on the corner of the table.

"Argh-!" Miguel exclaimed and clutched his slightly bleeding arm, but you knew better, you knew it takes more than a small scratch like that to actually hurt him since you did witness him beating up a bunch of guys which you remembered were another group of bullies to you, but before you could retort an apology all of a sudden all attention and faces suddenly drifted to your table.

"Urgh- Y/N you could have just asked if you wanted to grab the beaker"

That bastard-

"Y/N! I thought you knew better than this espeically when it comes to lab work!" Your teacher yelled at you.

"Ma'am I-I'm I didn't mean to!" but your teacher was having none of it since she was too busy doting on Miguel and telling someone to lead him to the nurse's office.

"Ma'am I'm really so-" Your teacher stopped you again mid sentence.

"Y/N this is a serious situation especially when it happend in. the. lab, for this I'm assigning you an essay instead but you will have score deduction for this incident" your teacher announced loudly, so loud that you could hear your classmates whispering and chuckling about your misery.

With that you finalize that fighting back might meant detention or worse, so you accepted your fate.

"Y-yes ma'am" with that class is dismissed.

After your entire school is finish you started heading home but Miguel being Miguel didn't want to let you off the hook that easily and offered to walk home with you by sticking to your side. He would always do this, walk you home as if he didn't torture you enough in school, acting as if you two are the bestest of friends.

The first time he did it, you were confused and scared, is he gonna follow you till to your house so he has more chance to bully you? maybe go with his group of buddies to beat you up on the way to school.

Whatever it was you tried pushing him away but he seemed relentless and would threaten to beat you and leave you to rot in an alleysway, with that you gave up.

You half listened to his rambles and teasings,only giving tired nods and hums, and finally you arrived at your home and you always thank the gods that he doesn't follow you in it.

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That was years ago, maybe somebody just coincidentally had the same scar on the same arm with the same hair with the same shade of brown.

But as he turns around to laugh at another friend of his your entire body freezes

It's him

It's really him, the man you hoped and wished that you finally got rid of.

Miguel O'Hara

Before you could think of anything the bell rang and you curse your self for not being able to take that much notes on the syllables this school year but you don't have enough time for that.

For now you focus on putting your messy and blank-ish notes in your bag and head for the doorway hoping he didn't notice you.

"Y/N? That you?"

And there you wish somebody has a shovel so you could bury yourself.

my confession is that i don’t know what i’m doing. and i know that no one knows it all... but they definitely feel more sure than i do. i have the most stable footing of my life right now, but i feel just as lost as when i was stumbling around. also more bored than before. but stable. anyway, i mutually broke up with my bf of about 9 mos. i so recently described my break up in a way i thought was really profound… my ex (and previous exes) were never Filling a hole in my life—they were standing in front of the hole. you see, i stare at this hole a lot, especially after a break up because it’s in view again. and i can’t tell if this hole is just an inevitable hole that will be there as long as one is alive and you can choose to look upon it for as little or as long as you want… or if some people literally don’t know what i’m talking about. thoughts

the hole allegory.. i like the way you describe them as standing in front of it, i know this feeling well u-u in my humble beliefs, the hole might represent something only u yourself can fill.. maybe by trying to bring out something that's repressed in you, i feel its often something from childhood like a silly dream u cant let go of.. or maybe a bad pain u havent been able to address. whatever it is, only you can know, but it is possible to start filling that hole in slowly so it becomes less...Severe

one thing i feel strongly about tho, is that no one else can fill the hole for you </3 sadly </3 i say sadly but in a way its also empowering. like you can free urself from that ideal, the relentless search for That One Person who can fill it. like, i love slimbo so completely , but they can;t help me with certain personal terrors. what really helps is that they're patient & don't mind sitting thru it with me while i work it out.

dont ignore the hole !! figure out what the hole needs thru trial & error.. try different hobbies n activities, daily rituals, act in ways that feel pure to u, discover who is the pure you. solitary times can lead to great revelations+++ i cld go into personal experience but this wld go on forevr

those r my thoughts ^^ i hope they help u in some way and dont seem like im telling u to give up on love.. love can be accepted sm easier once u have some foundation & inner security. from my expeirence neways. ganbatte anon i believe u have the power to fill the hole !!! we all do., just takes a lil work. ty for sharing w me anoon <3

Hello! May I request a reading?

My question is, what are my possible shadow traits?

You remind me of autumn, and the color blue.

My mind went to that one period of transfer between autumn and winter, where autumn is about to end and winter starts, if it makes sense, but the feeling i get is, chilly but there is a beauty to it, not all white, dull colours being vibrant, few of the dried maple leaves still stuck to the trees.. a visual imagery i had.

And for colour I thought of blue first, but then it immediately thought of brown as i wrote the above para.. so both I guess! As to why? Well, when I chose blue to me it is something that is calm and deep, and now brown, eathy-vibe that I felt and a comfy atmosphere

😌🤭

Thank you for your time and energy!

Hello, thank you a lot for your words! I think you summarized what I generally got by most of the other people taking part to the readings. So yes, it does resonate. I love color blue and winter in particular, but also autumn and its light somehow, so a mix of everything just work fine to me LOL^^

I feel your shadow traits may have to do about your solar plexus, so being seeing, self esteem/worth, self validation, self confidence, mental and emotional balance... it may be related to your childhood possibly. You may expeirence strong outburst of emotions, feel not good enough, feel wrong... it affects your heart chakra too (and possibly others: when one chakra is out of balance, the others follow in trying to balance it but doing so, they go out of balance... not sure if I explained myself properly.. guess you may also have difficulties in communicating about your problems sometimes, your needs). Seems like you're unconsciously blocking yourself sometimes, while you should talk and work with your fears, to end this cycle.

Take care.

Love Languages

*Gif not mine, credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: No.

• Warnings: Pure fluff besties

• Summary: A look into your relationship with Jay and the love languages you portray.

• Words: 1400.

• A/N : I’ll be honest, I just wanted to write some straight fluff because I was craving soft Jay and came up with this ramble/long drabble. No plot or real thought went into this I just started typing and let myself run away with it... One to try and put a smile on my besties face @halsteadlover ily sis😌

Hope you enjoy!

***

When it came to love languages, you and Jay were quick to work out what the other liked. Your love language being gift giving and his being touch and affirmation, the pair went hand in hand with the both of you being more than happy with the way affection was shown in the relationship. 

You were constantly picking things up for Jay if you’d see something that reminded you of him or simply something you know he’d like. A shirt of his favourite american football team, a new pair of sunglasses as he’d broken his others a few weeks before or a cheeky guesture of a new pair of grey joggers as he moans you constantly steal his. At this point, he was always on your mind so you could see a bottle of water and be taken back to the time where you’d seen him pick up the same one at a gas station on route to work. Maybe you’d pass someone in the street and get a whiff of their cologne and be reminded of the many mornings it would be the first thing you smelt as you’re awoken to soft kisses being pressed into your skin as he engulfs you with his arms within the imprinted sheets.

It didn’t matter how big or small it was, you wanted to show your affection by proving to him how often you thought of him, luckily this perfectly matched his affirmation desires so you were more than happy to ablige. Something so small as a cute keyring you picked up on vacation as it had a certain phrase on it that caused him to flash through your mind. He would instantly attach to his keys so whenever he looked at it he thought about how you’d gone out of your way to buy it for him, and how he must’ve been in your thoughts, it meant alot to him. You’d even bought him an ice scraper for his truck as he was constantly moaning he didn’t have one and felt bad about always borrowing yours and to this day he still uses it, even though it’s in a pretty worse for wear state he still can’t bring himself to get a new one as it wouldn’t give him that little boost of serotonin to picture you strolling through the store and the smile on your face as you took it to the checkout. 

At first, you felt you were being over the top with the words of affirmation towards Jay. Did he really need to hear you tell him how much you love him, multiple times a day? Surely he knows by now and didn’t need you to tell him this much but he basked in your expressions and was constantly looking forward to the next time the words he craved fell from your lips. 

'I’m so glad you made it home safe’

‘Did I tell you how much I love when you cook for me, baby?’

‘I’m so proud of you, Jay’

‘Thank you for everything you do for me’ 

The glowing feeling you get to see the heat creep to his cheeks, the doting looks he would give you and the way his grip on you would tighten at the smallest of affirmations confirmed how much he loved to hear it. He wouldn’t even have to verbally respond, a simple kiss to your temple or a content hum would be enough to acknoweldge that you knew exactly what he wanted and needed to hear.

His love language of touch was something you had to get used to. Jay was your first proper boyfriend, you’d dated on and off in the past but he was the only one who’s stuck around. He on the other hand, had more expeirence in the dating world so seemed to know more about it than you and with that came more things that just felt natural to him, but was a shock to your system. 

He without a doubt Jay had to have his hands on you in some way, these desires varied depending on the situation you were in and what he felt was necessary. In public his hand would be pressed into your lower back as he guides you through a crowded place, his grip falling to your waist as you stood next to him in a que at the mall or his hand finding yours as you strolled along the street just to name a few.

His lips would press into your temple as you rested your head on his shoulder, the way he runs his fingertips up and down your back whilst you lean into him. Planting a soft kiss to the back of your neck as he creeps up on you pouring yourself a glass of water in the morning, him pulling you into him to place a chaste kiss to your lips just to show you his love took you by surprise. 

You’d never had someone be so consumed by you that they needed to almost be a part of you but you loved it. Behind closed doors he was equally as attentive, fingernails grazing your arm as you lounge around watching a film, his hands finding their way on you as you cuddle into him. He would abscentmindidly fiddle with the ends of your hair as he concentrated on the TV, his mind fully on the screen but you were so much his main prioroty that he didn’t have to even think about it.

Even in his sleep, he needed you close to him, you’d fall asleep on the edge of the bed and wake up lying of his chest with the soft grazing of his fingernails down your spine, zero complaints but also no memory of how you got there. If he opened his eyes and he wasn’t holding you in some way, he’d automatically shift to intertwine your bodies under the sheets to sooth himself back to sleep. 

If he was jealous, you’d know about it in a matter of seconds. The intenstity of his grip on you would tell you someone else was eyeing you up, before you got to see for yourself. The way he would pull you onto his lap and wrap his arm tightly round you to keep you in place. How he’d pull you inbetween his legs as he sits at the bar in Molly’s, grabbing at your waist as he settles you in front of him. Even so much as a heated kiss being placed upon you to firmly deter the eyes of another man wasn’t unheard of and again you had zero complaints. 

Jay would find it adorable in the beginning of your relationship, noticing the way you’d glance down as he reached for your hand while you walked, trying to hide the smile that was spreading on your face. The chills you would get as he tangled his hands in your hair, the little quips you’d make at his sudden forms of intimacy were what spurred him on more. He loved the effect he had on you and moreover, he loved that you’d grown accustom to his love languages without a shadow of a doubt and were always there to accept them.

The little giggles you gave out as he pinned you onto the sofa to cover your face in light kisses, him digging his fingers into your sides as you were concentrating on something to make you jump. Reaching to tuck a piece of stray hair behind your ear had him always craving more as you leant into his touch. 

People around you loved to comment on it too. Will would always dig at Jay whenever you were together with the familiar comment of ‘Will you just leave her alone for two seconds man’ as Jay responded with a scowl. He hated people telling him what to do and especially when it came to you, if anything it would give him more motivation to hold you closer. Adam would often joke about how if you needed to find Jay, just to look for you as you he would ‘follow you round like a lost puppy’, to others they thought it was cringey and annoying but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You were his weakness, he wore it like a badge of honor and he wanted everyone to know.

***

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VIP+ Expeirence (Nagito) (NSFW)

Fandom: Scandal in the Spotlight (Voltage 365) Pairing: Nagito x Reader Warning: Kinda kinky?  Note: this is part 2, if you havent read the prologue it’s here X and part one with Iori is here X Tag: @iluvsexyvoltageguys @danieyells​

Your eyes were closed, you were desperately trying to return to normal. You had never thought you’d be fucked by Iori. Your body was still humming with pleasure when the door opened.

“Oh! Are you okay?” a voice asked and the sound of rushing feet was heard.

Your eyes snapped opened to see Nagito. He had a look of worry all over his face, “Yes, I’m okay.” He pulled you to a sitting position, your wrists were still bound together by Iori’s belt. That was the first to go when Nagito had gotten to you, he pulled it off of your wrists and threw the belt to the side, his soft hands caressed the warm skin. You also noted that he was not in his pop star uniform. He had changed to a button up shirt and distressed jeans. Even in casual wear he looked so damn sexy!

A frown graced his lips, “We agreed we wouldn’t leave a single mark on you!” his soft fingers probed at your already beginning to form bruises on your neck, “Does it hurt?” he asked in a hushed whisper.

Shaking your head to an adamant no, “No, I’m fine.” You could feel his hand caressing your neck, eventually his fingers drifted to your chin as he manipulated you. Making your head turn from side to side.

His golden eyes studied you, and you studied him. He had such energy about him, but here… here it felt intimate. “Good, I’m glad it doesn’t hurt.”

His thumb caressed your lip, a smile began to form on his lips, “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”

“W-Well, maybe a little.” You replied, your eyes were downcast.

“Mind if I kiss it to make it better?”

You shook your head again, a blush forming on your cheeks, “N-no, of course not.”

He brought his lips to your neck as he kissed your skin softly, his lips lingered longer than would be considered appropriate. He peppered kisses on your neck till be pulled back, “Anywhere else I can kiss to make better?”

You nodded, “Uh huh.”

“Where?” he asked, a smirk was forming on his lips.

“Right here” you pointed to your stomach. He bent down and kissed your stomach, he nipped softly, having you yelp in surprise. “I thought you were trying to sooth the skin?” you asked.

“My bad.” He locked eyes with you and smiled again, but it took on a mischievous undertone. “Anywhere else?”

You instantly pointed to your hip, “Here.”

Nagito laughed, “Iori was pretty rough with you, wasn’t he?”

“Uh huh” his nose glided over the planes of your stomach to your hip, leaving a ticklish sensation “That tickles!” you squirmed and Nagito held your legs down.

“I cant kiss it to make it better if you move too much” he placed a feather light kiss upon the skin, you were particularly ticklish there and you squealed as he tickled the skin. “So sensitive.” He mused, “Anywhere else?”

You parted your legs to an actual bruise on the inside of your thigh, “It really hurts here. Please, help me here.” You didn’t notice how his beautiful golden eyes had darkened in desire. He kissed his way from your hip to your inner thigh. His tongue darted out between kisses. He gently kissed his way from your thigh to the apex of your thighs where your pussy lip glistened with arousal. “I think I see a bruise here too.”

His tongue darted out to taste your arousal and he couldn’t hold back his own moan. You tasted delicious. His hands clamped down on your open legs as he settled between them comfortably. His lips enveloped your clit as he sucked gently and wagged his tongue over the sensitive skin. The immediate reaction of your gasps and cries went straight to his cock, the already somewhat hard member was getting harder.

Your finger threaded into his curly soft locks as he went from moving his tongue from side to side to circles. Your hips bucked in pleasure, you were still sensitive to your last orgasm. Your gasps of pleasure increased as you were getting closer and closer to your next orgasm.

Nagito loved how vocal you were, it was a shame what was coming later, he wouldn’t be able to hear your moans as loud as he liked. Your orgasm came crashing over your body as your body convulsed. Your sweet nectar flowed freely and Nagito drank it in. You were sweeter than any Popsicle that he had ever had.

His hands pushed him up from the floor and to your lips, where he kissed you. The sloppy kiss ignited the fire within you again. You could taste yourself upon his lips. His hand came up to cradle your head as you both made out passionately. Nagito’s tongue touched yours, yet there was no battle for dominance, it was a give and take. Only pulling back for air did he release you.

Your eyes darted back to his lips, “That was amazing… but it didn’t hurt there.” You giggled.

Nagito laughed, “No, but your lips looked like they’re just begging to be kissed.” He stood up and made his way to a desk with a light directly overhead. “I hope you’re enjoying this VIP experience.” His back was to you, when he picked up the condom from the desk.

“Immensely.” You replied. You stood to sit on the chair that Iori had pulled you from earlier, and you took your discarded dress and draped it over your body, suddenly a little self-conscious. Nagito turned back towards you and laughed.

“Cold?” he was fully prepared to turn the warmth on if you needed.

“No, I uh.” You thought of an excuse, “I am a little under dressed.”

“You can help me with that.” Nagito replied, he came closer where his cock was eye level with you. He was painfully aroused now. Your eyes could hardly be torn away from how evident it was, “Go ahead.”

Your hands found his belt buckle quickly and a sense of déjà vu washed over you, Iori had asked for you to remove his pants too. No, Iori demanded, Nagito asked. You removed his belt with shaky hands, half expecting to be an exact repeat of what Iori and you did, your pussy was already puckering from the memory. When you removed the belt Nagito took it from you and threw it to the side. He quickly unbuttoned his pants and shoved them down.

The only barrier between his cock and you was his boxers. You continued to eye him, “I’ll let you have the honors.” He whispered.

Your hands caressed his cock through the clothing, the friction felt incredibly amazing to Nagito. His eyes fluttered shut and his head lulled back. You kissed the tip of his cock where you could feel the dampness there, his pre cum was already being soaked through the material.

“Damn, do that again” Nagito requested, your hands grabbed his cock and you kissed the tip. You wished that he had asked you to remove his boxers but you didn’t dare do so until he asked. You took his clothed head in your mouth as you rubbed him through the boxers.

Your own saliva was mixed with his pre cum, Nagito was enjoying this thoroughly. It was with much difficulty and regret that he pushed you off of him, “Can’t end early.” He gasped out. Your eyes were already hooded, and the arousal was clearly written on your face.

Your fingers grabbed the elastic of his boxers and pulled them down, Nagito was a little thicker than Iori, and you found yourself licking your lips, anticipating what was to come. He placed the condom in your line of sight. You took it instantly and rolled the green condom over his member. You took great pleasure in your hands moving over his penis. You took his cock in your mouth, having to relax your jaw to accommodate him. When he triggered your gag reflex Nagito immediately pulled away from you.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“I’ve given head before, I’m okay.” You replied, though you were grateful for his concern. Nagito, hyper aware of your movements and your reactions never went much further in. fingers wrapped around his cock to help where your mouth couldn’t reach. You were rewarded by the high pitched pants and whined coming from Nagito.

You weren’t lying about giving good head. Nagito was quickly racing to completion. He pulled you off of him as he panted hard, “N-Not yet.”

While you were still on your hands and knees he back you against the wall, where you felt something bump against your ass. Glancing back you noticed a large dildo attached to the wall. How did you not notice this earlier? It was a pale green color, indicating it had the ability to be illuminating.  

“Are you ready for some fun?” he asked after catching his breath.

You nodded fervently, “Yes, I am.”

“Open wide.” He grabbed his cock and guided it back to your mouth where you gladly accepted him. He naturally moved forward in your mouth as he leaned over and gripped the dildo and guided it to your pussy lip. He pushed you slowly over the toy, letting it fill you up. You moaned as you sunk deeper on the dildo, the vibration felt incredibly amazing over his cock.

“Fuck, ____ you’re driving me crazy.” Nagito couldn’t help but praise you. His fingers wrapped around your hair as he guided you forward and backwards. Your ass hit the wall again and again as the dildo’s silicone balls hit your ass multiple times. What it lacked in being the real cock, made up in length, it was almost as long as Iori.

When Nagito pushed forward he reached towards the wall and turned off the lights. Instantly your vision was lit up with bright green as Nagito’s condom began to glow green. You paused, not expecting to see it glowing green.

In the dim light of the glow you could see the boyish grin on Nagito’s face, “I thought this would be fun.” He commented.

You pulled yourself off of his cock for only a second, “It’s very you.” You grabbed his cock again and pumped him through the condom. Nagito took great delight in watching his glowing cock disappear within your mouth. It was such a turn on!

His eyes drifted to your ass, equally delighted to watch the dildo parting your folds. He groaned a low guttural moan as one of your hands played with his balls. Massaging them and squeezing gently. You had just pushed him closer to his completion.

You hummed a Revance song over his cock and you could feel him exploding inside the condom. His legs shook as he struggled to keep himself standing. He had removed his hand from your hair to brace himself against the wall as he filled the condom.

You pulled the condom from his cock and threw it to the side. Nagito flicked the lights on again, temporarily blinding you. He pulled you from the dildo and kissed you hungrily. You clung to him as he kissed you hard. Your fingers rubbed over your clit, trying to find your own release, you were so close!  You were pressed tightly to Nagito’s chest to the point you could feel his pulse and every breath he took.

Your eyes closed as you imaged his own fingers rubbing your clit and not just your own.

Iori was almost right, he had almost ruined you for any other man. Your clit was incredibly sensitive as you rubbed it gently.  You were getting closer and closer! You broke the kiss when you felt his fingers next to yours, however, his fingers went past your clit to your already abused pussy.

Your imagination, no, your newly formed desire was taking place, his fingers were inside you, and doing deliciously sinful things to you. 

His fingers curled inside as he pumped them in and out. Nagito kissed his way from your mouth to your cheek to your neck and to your shoulder, he bit down, making sure to mark you; if Iori broke the rules why can’t he? Each fleeting kiss felt as if he was toying with you, coupled with his fingers you were quickly finding your third release for the night. 

Nagito was intoxicating, and he knew it. From time to time you could smell his cologne as it wafted to your nose, you could smell hints of lemon and something sweet, mixed with the musky scent of sex. Your left hand reached back to grip his head as you leaned into his hand, bucking your hips in your goal to reach your orgasm.

“R-Right there.” You gasped as he massaged your inner walls, you pushed against his fingers, finding a sloppy rhythm. You did the majority of the movements while Nagito watched you, you were so sexy writhing on his fingers. He decided to add a third finger, stretching you so deliciously. The added finger had you crashing over as your orgasm broke through. Your body shuddered as you rode it out.

The endorphins flooded your system as you shuddered against his fingers. Your walls fluttered against his digits, drenching his fingers in your cum. He pulled his fingers from your cunt, and brought them to his mouth, once again savoring your cum.

“You taste delicious.” He whispered huskily into your ear, having you shivering and your pussy clenching involuntarily. With a ‘pop’ he cleaned his fingers “I wish we had more time together.” He whined, “I would take you all night long, as long as I pleased.”

Nagito had only a few minutes left, enough to get cleaned up. He pulled his boxers over his soft cock, you had given him the best blowjob  that he had ever had. He would remember it for ages to come. His pants were next, he didn’t bother putting on his shirt. 

He grabbed his button up that was discarded onto the floor and draped it over your shoulders. How considerate. 

You watched him as he got dressed again, the distinct warmth from his body was already fading from you. You missed it already, “Thank you, Nagito” you squeaked out. I love this experience.”

He smiled and winked at you, “I’m glad you did. I hope we get to meet you again.” he walked over to you and kissed your forehead, “Next is Kota. I promise you’ll enjoy this.” 

I don't understand myself... I like romance and sex in fiction but when it comes to me? Hell nay! Maybe I'm just scared? What if I'm not really aspec? I don't actually appreciate a men's body but girls are so beautiful! At the same time I don't think what I feel is sexual attraction... idk what it is and I just can't be sure! I like the idea of romance so much but I seriously cannot understand what I feel towards people... what's wrong with me?

Yeah, it can definitely get a bit complicated, and maybe even overwhelming trying to sort everything out. Especially if you’re trying to sort out multiple aspects of your orientation.

So there’s a lot of reasons someone may like sex/romance in fiction but not in real life. Being scared is a possibility. Especially if it’s something you want to explore on some level, but you feel like there’s something holding you back. Repulsion is another possibility, if you get really anxious or feel repulsion (either or or both) when you try to engage in sex/romance personally. You might also want to look into autochorissexual/autochorisromantic (also called aegosexual/aegoromantic), which is a term for people who experience a disconnect between themselves and what they find sexually/romantically appealing. So liking sex/romance in fiction but not wanting to be a participant yourself could call under autochoris/aego. Though it’s important to note autochoris/aego also falls outside of attraction, you can be autochoris/aego regardless of whether you’re experiencing attraction or not.

There’s also some gray-ace/gray-aro identities where this might happen. Such as lithromantic/lithsexual (also called akoiromantic/akoisexual), which is a person who expeirences romantic/sexual attraction, but doesn’t want or need it reciprocated or fictoromantic/fictosexual which is someone who only experiences romantic/sexual attraction to fictional characters. So that might be an avenue to look down too if you feel like it might be relevant. There might be other gray-ace/gray-aro identities that may be useful to as well.

As for figuring out what kinds of attraction you’re experiencing, it helps to separate out drive, desire and attraction. So sexual attraction is a desire to do sexual things with a specific person or be aroused by a specific person because of something inherent to them. Romantic attraction is similar, having a desire to do things you personally consider romantic with a specific person, or to be in a romantic relationship with a specific person. 

Sexual desire is a desire to have sex/do sexual things, and romantic desire is a general desire to do things you personally find romantic/be in a romantic relationship. The big difference between desire and attraction is that desire isn’t directed at any specific person, it’s just a general desire for these things.

And then sex drive is how often and how much you want a sexual release, and romantic drive is how much and how often you want to do romantic coded things/things you consider to be romantic. Romantic drive can also be satiated through romantic stories too.

So it might be helpful to figure out which of these things you might be experiencing, and remember too that sometimes the line can be a bit blurry, and even knowing the definitions it’s not always easy to figure out which you might be experiencing, and that’s OK too. 

It might also be helpful for you to look into the different types of attraction. Remember that sexual and romantic attraction are not the only types of attraction. There is a good list here of the different types of attraction. Remember that the biggest way that attraction differentiates itself is in what it makes you want to do. So for example when you say you find girls really beautiful, but you’re not sure it’s sexual attraction, do you think it might be aesthetic attraction? Aesthetic attraction is when you find specific people aesthetically very appealing and it mostly makes you want to stare at them or study in them, and it can feel a lot like experiencing a particularly beautiful/moving piece of art.

Anyways, I hope all that’s helpful and maybe helps you at least break things down a bit. But remember that sometimes it just takes time to sort things out and figure out what fits. So take your time. And if you can’t figure it out, or decide you don’t feel like figuring it out, there’s also quoisexual/quoiromantic you can look into too. Which is basically not identifying with a sexual/romantic orientation. 

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, sometimes this stuff is just a bit complicated, and we live in a culture that like to really oversimplify how orientation works.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

ive been looking for my dear dirk for fucking. as lng as i can ermember ive known he was missing. my paranoia is getting worse adn my family is abusive. the only one i can rely on and trust is calliope. i miss dirk so much. but my paranoia is making it so so hard to even speak to anyne outside of callie. ive self harmed because of this and attempted suicide. what can i do to get better? can i? -caliborn

(N0t g0nna quirk cause its easier t0 read)

Oh Caliborn, I am so sorry your going through that. it sounds awful. you are so,so,so strong for getting this far ok? you deserve an award for that alone! Situations like this can be hard, your cough between a rock and a hard place. 

as for Dirk I urge you to send canon calls!! there are lots of amazing Dirk’s out there. I know a few myself. I am sure yours is out there looking for you as well.It can be scary but you can always send them on anon and check out a persons blog before interacting with them.You can also put up posts on your blog if you want to or go through tags for yourself or dirk! you might find something there.We ever tae canon calls here if you wanna try it.

As for the family.. that one is a bit harder. abuse is always awful and so hard to handle. everyone has ays of dealing with it differently but my advice from expeirence would be: stay away form them as much as you can. excuses to stay at a friends house. stay late at school,etc. if it gets so bad your in real danger calling a trusted friend or adult could be good. just so someone else knows the situation and your not alone.Again I cant give much help on this front due to how intense and different every situation can be. but if you do want more help or just someone else to talk to feel free to send us another massage anytime!

As for the self harm things here are a few tips i have learned over the years that might help:Holding ice hurts and doesn’t do much damage. same with a rubber band around your wrist.Drawing over the places you want to cut is another good option. using red can help settle the want to see blood.corn starch and water with red food coloring is also satisfying.things like ripping paper. punching a pillow,screaming and writing can also help get anger and sadness out.

Stay safe out there Caliborn.  and if you need anything else of a different mod feel free to send another ask. good luck and hold your head high! your a mighty creature and deserve to be treated as such, weathers others see if yet or not!!

~M0d Aradia

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=726366980886527&id=128872377302660 My sponser Routes Hair Extension has spoken out because this deal Busienss owner who really does put her customers and client firsts. She sees ournpassions and really invests in my work. To Routes Hair Extension it is not about sales , she really fights for my rights and decided to after seeing first hand of what I really go through to ensure others with disabilities don't go through the pain that I put myself through inorder to be heard and show my skills,talent and experiences and education means something to me which I have always said "knowledge is power and I will leave a legacy of my stories on how my journey got others to do the same". I chose carefully who I work with and u couldn't very easily worked woth e vert company who offered to give me lots of free products and advertising but to me my image and my ethos means something . When I chose my Sponser and the designer rand clothes I did for a reason. My sponser is another role model, a strong female who has endured and gone through hurdles to get to where she is now a sucessfull business because she worked for it by herself and applied herself. For years I suffer with alopecia and lots my confidence because of others words 'she looks beautiful to she doesn't look beautiful because I lost my hair. Routes Hair Extensions gave me confidence back but I also learnt about my beauty is about appearances. It is about I feel and how i am going to channel that. So i learnt difference ways to look after myself and show it doesn't matter if I lost my hair n.a. d had bold patches I embrace myself gracefully, be presentable always , use my personality to internet and work on my goals THA to still had to achieve. I reminded myself at church God gave me another task to take on and was testing me on how I was going to be a better a person. Do I crumble and either away and lose myself ?and stop caring about myself? Do I give up on all my skills and knowledge that I have to get close to where I need to be? No! I go through the emotions as I do because I am human still and need to filter through the stages of emotions inorder to take the next stage of action... I then do what I always do look at myself in my mirror talk to myself, because I need guidance and for role model is the person in the mirror who I am.always xhasing after to be. The person in the mirror i tell myself , " for some who has done Pyschology, you really are don't see what are your doing, it is right in front of you" Once my emotions are out of the way, I say to myself from the mirror " only you can make the changes on what to do next, yes it's another obstacles, but you seem to be attracted to obstacles and what have you always done? I the say " I role the obstacle and never went through that every again bexause I changed and do something about it" The me in mirror says, "Well now you have a new obstacle to motivate you to not tell others go through it butnyou must go through it for that change to take effect. Your strong you always have been never forget your strengths" I then compose myself and get on with it! It is some as that it is the doing bit that takes time and who would've thought a 9 years girl has waited for her crown . I believe in myself and always keep my beliefs to myself until they come true . I am always thinking and finding ways to to do. If one wayndoesnt work I find another and another it may take months and years but I always knew I could make my goals come true and not by money or others but by myself by working. Winning a beauty pagent and being crowned Mrs British Empire for DisAbility Inclusion, if I can do it so can you. I just don't want you to go through the nightmare that I went through to get here that is why I am using these platforms to share my experiences and work with companies to educate them on how to make the changes they need and not be scared to not include people woth disabilities . We are all learning and lack of knowledge means we need to help another by giving them the knowledge you have. We often think everyone should still have basic common sense but it really is that if you don't spend time with aperosn in a wheelchair or have experience you just don't know but even the intelligent human being who is so sucessfuly and wealthy will have no knowledge of a person with disabilities in a wheelchair who also is educated and sucessful. Do I keep getting angry and fight woth them and keep crying and do I retreat back to my bedroom and never leave my accessible home where no one sees my qualities and strengths ? No! I wait to achieve my goals and go through the battle to get it and when i say battle it really is a battle a totrure wher i am degreded, dehumanizes, humilatated because i am not seen or treated as a human being , access is a night mare as soon as i leave my hime, people ignore me, i get pushed without being asked, i get hit, laughed, rejected, questioned about my " i shoyldnt be a mother becaue im in a wheelchair' 'i get people randomly come up to me and say ' I'd rather die than be like you" " that is a prison sentence you may aswell have died" " how can be a mother " " why are you happy and wear nice clothes when you r in that" " your embarrassment , your a baby for life in that pushchair " " I'll pray for you to be normal" " now that I met you I did my good deed for heaven" " why should you het special treatment with parking" " I can't walk like i used to and use sticks and struggle I should he that you got and live a life of luxury" " I'd loved to be pushed around" " "I understand what you go through I have a pushchair and suffer" " my pushchair is easy just likes yours" "I can relate I have pushchair and I struggle" can I just say a pushchair is NO comparasion to a wheelchair you choose to use a pushcahir for your child" "I should get on of these chairs and my arms will be strong and not flabby" " it must be a easy for you wheelchair so quick " " just wheel yourself on the ramp we had to make it for you you know" " we specially made the ramp for you it us all day" " we don't talk people like you" " how can you be a mum when your like that" These are just some of the comment so get on a daily basis and theme other it's is being ignored by not being able to get in shops, blocked dropped kerbs, wheelchair access toilets lack off and people using them woth no regards to people woth disabilities both disabled and disabled, absusing disabled bays. Then I communicate to the people on how I'm going to help them on how to make them better so they know what there doing to support disability inclsuion and how to talk to people with disabilities. I shouldn't have to do this as people should know but I have to as I am responsible to make sure it is done right as i have the knowledge, expeirences and skills to use. It is up to them to change or not but if they don't they are losing out not me because I see my world truly is limitless. All my possibilities are endless . For now I share another achievement I worked for so long to make a reality. A 9 year olds girls dream came true .... at 34 years of age a british born indian catholic mother becomes the first in a wheelchair wins UK pagent and breaks the barriers for DisAbility Inclusion with my daughter who is 11. I wanted to show my daughter that every achievements I made happen with my dau ghte represent she has seen what true beauty is and she has seen I have done it all in my wheelchair and when I was walking. She has seen and been part of the hardest challenges and we have survived and won. Everything I do is for my baby girl to know she is included everythibg my daughter has gine through for being different just like me I have shown and she believes she can be anything she wants and do anything and I proved to her it is possible because she will always have the power one can take it away from her now matter what you will go through and how many times you fall you will always have the power to your life. I have decided to speak out the truth and iver the weeks you read what I go through for the changes to take effect. It will upset companies and people but if I keep hiding everything in and not post my stories of discrimination society will never change. God put me on earth of for a reason and he has given me a purpose and I am now channelling every part of my life to do that. Eventually everything will be in my Book and I am happy my first book is completed by the end of year!!!!