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i-write-hurt-not-comfort · 6 months

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Aww!!! I love your new Ayato story. To be honest, when I read the tags and the description, it was very hard for me to imagine a combination between Ayato and drugs, but I was very wrong, because now I started to get addicted to this story as well as Ayato. The idea feels so real and doable. I'm even now convinced that if Ayato was human in the canon universe, without those supernatural powers and vampiric sadism, he'd handle the situation in a similar way, since there's no way he'd be the asocial loser in class (-: However, his super beauty as a vampire doesn't work here, and it wouldn't be realistic just to exist to have friends :-*

hey anon! thank you so much! i'm excited to continue it, hoping i get another chapter in before christmas. here's the fic for anyone wondering, it's called the basketball diaries and i'll ramble a lil bit here, don't mind me.

putting it under a cut for discussions of drugs

so i've been writing drug addict fics for a real long time now and i generally consider myself able to make any character into an addict, primarily due to my wide scope of knowing and under the pretext of "it can happen to anyone", and in dialovers, i've now written shu, reiji, laito, subaru, ruki, kou, yuma and azusa. hence i moved to ayato.

ayato has gone up a lot in my heart since i first found dialovers in 2017 and especially since my re-obsession era in 2021. the more i read him, esp LE, the more i learn about his strengths and weaknesses. he's vulnerable, he's got academic trauma. he wants to do well, he does, but he's scared of trying because he doesn't want to make himself look stupid.

and contrary to the ayato can't read joke on my DL server, ayato can read and i think he's pretty smart if he really wants to do something. i.e. his MB after story he DOES get a degree but it's for yui's sake. he has to have a reason. and without said reason, he's void of motivation and frankly doesn't really know HOW to try.

you're right, ayato acts like a silly goofy big strong vampire because he's convincing himself he's The Shit. he bigs himself up as Yours Truly, pretends he's the best, because his entire self-worth growing up was based on the assumption he was going to be The Best. and if he's not The Best, then he's a failure.

when you combine that mindset with a situation where he obviously isn't going to be the best, you have a perfect recipe to write a drug fic i think.

he can't possibly be that guy with no friends, he wants to be liked and the best. but most importantly, he has a deep intrinsic desire to be the best academically too. but he never learnt to study, he has zero self-worth, and starting uni away from his closest brothers (laito n subaru in this case) in a difficult degree is challenging. couple this with the fact i gave him ADHD bc ADHD ayato has my heart, he's lost. and because being the best in his mind is more important than his own health and sense of self, he'd be willing to do anything to maintain that. and if he found a drug which does that for him, why wouldn't he use it, yknow?

i won't spoil too much about the fic there by mentioning yui's role in this (bc yui doesn't appear until ch11 unfortunately), but this is an overview of why i'm so excited to write an ayato addict fic finally.

on a similar note, next up Might be shin, actually. shin has potential, mostly from stuff in his LE. because of endzeit, shin very much has this mindset where he needs to prove he's sick in order to get validation. like he needs to be sick to prove something about himself. obviously if this weren't canon then endzeit can't be a thing, but i could talk for hours and hours and HOURS about the "needs to be ill to get validation of health" trauma (mainly due to personal experience) and it'd be really interesting to write in the context of drug addiction!

#ask #anon #the basketball diaries fic #diabolik lovers #ayato sakamaki #tw drugs #just a goofy long ass incoherent analysis

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jemandrr · 4 months

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accidentally browsing a (very niche) female-dominated gaming space and seeing people TEAR into people who want an option to change the player character's pronouns to he/him or they/them without changing anything else because it'd invite men to invade a safe space. For a game purely about dating men. Like, I've been through plenty of female-dominated spaces where queer people and similar-interest straight men are welcome (in this case it'd be bi men but yknow), so it's just this one community, but jeez. The amount of fear that anyone who isn't explicitly a femme female would come in and A. hit on the faceless women there or B. taint the game by making the devs add designs of men who they don't want to date?

I got such a strong terf-y rhetoric from that community, like we can't have anything in common with people who aren't like us going on. All about taking 'our' things. And a lot of people contradicting one other but not trying to find out what the truth is because they have the same conclusion. Like two people saying A>B or B>A and no argument arises and no one shows interest in which is true because both people conclude C.

A lot of people even saying that, likewise, things that appeal to female or queer audiences should NOT be added to mainstream media just like queer content should not be added to female-oriented media. These hard walls around what belongs to who is like...they were raised by toy companies or something.

Like what is (paraphrasing so it isnt searchble) "I would never come into a male dominated community because I feel like I would be invading their safe space, so I don't get why men would want to come here and talk about liking men." At least the people who are scared of sexual abuse are warranted, I've seen tons of abusive language towards people they think are women in male dominated online spaces, but what is this fear of even...sharing interests with men? I know we've been in a new era of gender role enforcement with the tradfem movement, but jeez. And as for these last two points, they both are ones that were contradicted. People also said they do believe in diversity BUT just *this* shouldn't count.

Some people even said it's not fair that they get pushed to be more inclusive when mainstream media never does. Which makes me wonder if they're so deep in their niche 'I only experience content made by and for exclusively straight women' content that they haven't noticed any of the movements in media going on over the last 1.5 decades. Like it's true that we haven't made that much progress, but how do they think that no media gets pressed to increase diversity? The more rigid/right-leaning male audiences of tons of media have been complaining about forced diversity for years in exactly the same way (and sometimes, when it really WAS forced diversity, everyone complains because it's not representing anyone really but yknow). But I guess they wouldn't know that if all of them avoid mainstream media?

Also...what is the fear that gay men like men in a 'wrong' way...(and again, the unargued contradiction being plenty of people saying that they also like media about gay characters, but just they shouldn't make these characters gay)

And like I do get it, in the sense that being marginalized makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand in its own separate way from how being in a privileged class makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand. There's a lot more fear of exploring things different and new because the possible retribution feels/has been higher.

Honestly, this post isn't actually about a couple hundred to low-thousand women in a small community for niche games. Not like, I think it's important, I want to actively make them change. It's not that big a deal, not that surprising in the grand scheme. It's similar rhetoric to things i've seen before (Tradfem/terf). I've seen screenshots of, like, facebook mom groups before. And I've seen way bigger communities be way more open and welcoming, it's just a little outlier.

I'm just writing this because I'm a bit shellshocked because I forget how much that those kinds of people are not just the older, tech-illiterate generations, and not just shallow influencers who will say anything for the clicks (or because someone behind the scenes is funding it), their views behind the camera up in the air. Like I think I cultivate the people I interact with a bit too well. Too many of the people I actually interact with or witness the thoughts of regularly are queer and have flitting relationships with gender and then I remember the other side of the coin has people who think they're being progressive by suggesting that everyone who is different be segregated and therefore safe from each other with no room for intersectionality.

#for the record in other communities talking about the same game i saw several people sharing tips for making androgynous or slightly butch #characters which is the wholesomeness on the other side #ranting into the void #is this one of those situations of like #'the celebrity you call ugly will never see this but the person you know who shares those features will?'#but with 'The men who want to invade your safe spaces will never see this but the he/him butch and other queer people who are otherwise #generally your advocates in political and social spaces will'#also ngl being gay admittedly does make this so much easier #but i cannot imagine having the idea that #categorically #'you and your partner cannot have any interests in common' but so many do #And honestly I would have trouble believing that any women who says they're scared ofplaying or discussing a videogame #with a gnc or gay person- would say that irl they're not a terf and they would let gnc and trans people into the same public bathroom #like i can believe it because people hold lots of contradictory ideas but #if more than 20% of them said it i would think that was legitimately virtue signalling #because while i think trans panic is waaaaay less common than the media thinks #inside a community with those beliefs when they can talk anonymo usly #itd be a tough sell for me. I have to imagine most of those women are the kind who would find out their partner was bi #and start feeling uncomfortable about the state of their relationship- with the way they talk about how men can't enjoy female things like #dating men and such #ALSO there are more women than men #wtf do you mean mainstream media is only for straight men #straight adult men is #like 30-odd percent of the us tops #they got more purchasing power cus of sexism and homophobia and so on but #its so self defeating to think of mainstream media as exclusively the purview of straight men

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the-hatchetfield-archives · 7 months

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I'm not gonna give my name up and I'm not even sure if this will help me sleep at night but giving a statement might be good for me, I guess? So, every year Hatchetfield has this event called The Honey Festival. It's exactly what it sounds like. Honey everywhere. There's even a pageant but that's not important. I went with some friends because our favorite up and coming band was set to play there. I'd been really excited to see them the whole day, even sitting through all the other acts I didn't care about. The band set up on stage and is warming up when this woman storms onto stage. This is the part where I would describe what she looked like, what she sounded like and what she was doing but... I don't remember. I don't remember anything more than that. And then, a second later, the speakers rang out the last notes of a song. The band had just lowered their instruments, blinking as if they woke up from a dream. As I looked around at everyone else, I realised they were doing it too. Obviously, there had been one hell of a performance because the entire audience was clapping but quickly stopped as we realised none of us knew what we'd just watched. The woman had vanished. No one knew where she went. Hell, I don't even know if she was real since she wasn't anyone I can remember being in town. In case you hadn't noticed, we're a pretty small town so everyone knows everyone, right down to their family tree. Whoever she was, the woman didn't turn up again except for in our words. Rumours say she used to own the abandoned diner at the edge of town, the one by the mall. I can't remember if it was ever open but every time I look at the place, a sickly sweet taste hits the back of my throat like a cream pie or a milkshake with extra whipped cream. I started looking into the diner in the hopes I'd get some answers about who the hell that lady was or what the hell happened at the Festival that made us blackout. I've emptied out the library's resources but it's just the plans from when the diner used to be something else. No records at town hall showed anything recent either. Honestly, it was like the whole thing had been wiped or erased somehow. I'm... not proud of this next part but it's important. I broke into the diner a few times. The first time, it was because I wondered if the woman left anything behind that could help me indentify her yet all I could find was a smashed up jukebox and vintage collectibles. The kind of shit people would sell kidneys to get too so seeing them abandoned to darkness and dust freaked me out. When I went in again, I actually started to take it all in. Somehow, the whole place looked exactly how the TV and movies made diners look. That timeless look where everything would glow under neon lights and the booths were cozy. Even though it freaked me out, I kept going back. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't obsessed with the place or anything. I just wanted answers. As you can guess, I found jackshit. What I did get was Grace Chasity ratting me out and two months of community service. The worst thing is that the school is making me talk to the new councilor. My friends haven't really talked to me since. Probably because they're worried about how everyone else will look at them, knowing I'm still waiting for a sign that the woman was real

Oh, the diner? We've actually been looking into it already. Heard a few whispers of strange happenings near there through the grapevine.

Haven't actually gotten around to, yknow, breaking in, of course. I mean, we don't even WANT to do that, obviously, our investigations definitely aren't worth it.

Thank you for your time, I suppose.

#submitted statement

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joshstambourine · 3 years

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A Seconds Glance

"Hi I have a request for either Josh or Jake 💛 can I get a story where they see a girl, either at school or they can already be famous in this, and is instantly enamored. I don't know if you've seen The Virgin Suicides, but if you have then something similar to when Trip sees Lux for the first time. I'm interested in how those two would go about getting a girl's attention when they have a crush.💕💕💕" - Anonymous

//Hi Doll! I can’t say I have seen that--- but I will try my best to write something that I feel matches the idea you had.

I’m gonna be repeating this forever--- but again, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get this request out for you! I decided to go with Josh being in school for this one.//

Warnings: Cursing, awkward beans

Word Count: 1969

Synopsis: Josh had never really believed in love at first sight... but yet....

Josh Kiszka x Fem!Reader

The first day of sophomore year. For most this was just the start of another school year; a sudden reminder that a new binder or fun pencil case is exciting for all of 10 minutes when it comes to actual classes and work. But for Josh… this year felt like it was filled with possibilities. It sounds like some sort of stupid thing you'd see on a motivational calendar, but it really truly did.

Josh hadn't imagined for a second that he actually would have a chance in making music his career; and yet, he had spent all summer with his band mates playing for different occasions and pubs. All the while they were working, working hard on writing songs that they could be proud to play for others.

All of that said, Josh was returning to high-school this year with a new found amount of confidence and excitement; it showed in every step Josh took. His one hand held loosely on to the arm of his backpack, walking in time with Jake.

"But what do you think? Would it look good on me?" Jake inquired, fingers lightly playing with the mid-length pieces of hair on his head.

"I mean… I don't know…" Josh lightly starts, glancing at his twin and begins to take a good long look at him.

Jake's eyes widened just a touch, his expression becoming one that said, 'Well…?'

"Uh… honestly I don't really know Jake. I've never seen you with anything else than this." Josh admits, then snickers a little, "Except for that one time when we decided it'd be fun to take those scissors and---"

"No, that's fine, I didn't need to think about that." Jake immediately stopped him, his hand going to take a full dive into his mess of dark brown hair.

"Cmon, it was really funny though. Ma really lost her shit when she saw your head like that." Josh continued to muse, hands folding into his pockets with the utmost of ease.

Jake shook his head in a mournful way, "I can say I will never go back to a buzz-cut again… not without a fight."

Josh's smile never faltered, it was his laughter that changed, softening into a bit of a sigh as they reached the double doors at the front of the school. With a swing of the doors they both were making their way down the hallway to their lockers.

"Meet by Mr.Shapiro's class before lunch?" Jake questioned, to which Josh nodded. No matter which school the twins went to the teachers seemed to know that the best course of action was to keep them separated. That said Josh and Jake always had separate homerooms at least, through most of their time in school.

"See ya in a bit." Josh waved, taking a few steps back before turning on his heels and heading to his own locker.

Josh's excitement to be back in class showed on his face more than he probably would have wanted. A few pencils in his hand along with a binder filled with blank paper and tucked away dividers.

As soon as Josh stepped into the class room his eyes were met with many familiar faces. Some of these people he had been in school with since kindergarten; like Meg, a rather tall blunt faced girl with long kinky black hair. She simply threw a peace sign Josh's way as he stepped through the doors; he eagerly returned it, bringing a small smile to Meg's lips.

With some brisk steps Josh moved to place himself at the back of the classroom, just behind Meg. He threw his things on his desk without much thought. Despite there being a good number of kids he knew... there seemed to be equally just as many new kids.

Leaning on his desk Josh moved closer to Meg, "Where the hell did these guys come from?"

Meg's brow lifted as she leaned back a little, "Know the high-school on the east side?"

"The one where you can get crack for super cheap?" Josh inquired,

Meg's head bobbed, "They closed it down, so now we get half the kids that went there." She explains with her head resting on her hand in a bored way.

"Oh shit really? That's a lot of kids---" Josh was quick to respond, glancing around the room.

"Oh yeah... way too many in my personal opinion --- not that anyone cares." Meg mutters, beginning to click her mechanical pencil.

Josh's eyes were still taking in all the new faces as he started to respond, "Wow aren't we positive today."

Meg sighed, "Eh.... I'm just not excited, Justin and I broke up over the summer and I'll have to see him in history." She began to explain, "Things are just really tense, yknow?"

She waited a moment for him to give some comforting... but still idiotic response, however none came. It finally got Meg to turn and look at him, as she did she immediately noticed that Josh's eyes had widened just a touch, cheeks dusted a light pink.

Meg followed the line of his eyes to a beautiful young woman. The expression he wore was more than enough to tell Meg that she should move.

Josh was so busy just... taking the new girl in that he didn't even notice Meg slip to the free desk to the side of the one she was previously sat in. Josh just couldn't put his finger on it, there was something... something so breathtaking about her. Was it her eyes? Or maybe how her hair fell around her face? He couldn't be sure. What he was absolutely sure of was that he had never had a moment in his life where he could hear music just by looking at someone.

"Hey... do you know if this desk is free?" A new voice shook Josh. It was her. She was standing at a desk to his left with a bit of an awkward air.

He was just so shaken. What did she say again? Something about a desk? Josh's lips parted, "Uh--- I uh, what did you--?"

"No that one isn't open, but the one just in front of my dude Josh is, right Josh?" Meg interrupted, pointing to the desk ahead of him.

"Oh y-yeah, that one's open! Definitely 100% open! It couldn't be more open even if it tried!" Josh started spouting, he really wasn't even aware that his mouth had moved, and that was clear in the fact that it just kept moving when she had come to sit down. "Do you need any pencils at all?? I have like 20!" He continued, though his hand held one full sized pencil and one shorter than the average person's pinkie... both chewed on. "I mean not on me but--- who needs a pencil right?"

The girl laughed a little awkwardly, her gaze moving from Josh to Meg and then to the desk. "No, no I'm okay thank you though." She slipped into the chair, keeping her gaze frontwards.

Meg looks to Josh with a shocked look, 'What was that??' She mouthed,

Josh responded with an absolutely mortified expression. He would never say he was the smoothest guy on the planet, but he had never been that awkward in his life.

Meg shook her head before reaching out to tap the girl's shoulder, "I'm Meg!" She introduces, "And that goober is Josh."

The girl lightly moved to glance over her shoulder at Josh in a shy way. "It's nice to meet you both. I'm (Y/N)." She hummed with a sweet smile.

"That's a pretty name, isn't it Josh??" Meg quickly said, trying to get him to continue the conversation in a less awkward way.

Josh nodded very enthusiastically, "The prettiest name I've heard in a long time!" He said with a smile,

(Y/N)'s cheeks began to hold a flush of their own. "Oh! Uh... th-thank you!" She sputtered out.

'OH FUCK. She's so cute.' Josh thought to himself, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat with a shaky swallow.

Little did Josh know that (Y/N) was thinking something very similar. She might not make it as obvious as he was, but being so much closer now... being able to see the warmth in his brown eyes, seeing how his wavy brown hair came to cup his cheeks --- she couldn't help but continue to stare back at him.

The only thing that could pull them both out of the little trance they had fallen into was the bell. Both of them quickly looked toward it, followed by a man's voice at the front of the class.

"Alright everyone, take your seats!"

(Y/N) was reluctant but she turned herself to look toward the front of the class. A little bit nervous, but mustering an ounce of courage she tore a piece of paper from her notebook quietly and began to scribble something down.

Josh hardly got anything out of that language arts class, he was way too busy trying to figure out what excuse he could make to talk with (Y/N) again. He was just rattling through every little conversation starter he had ever heard in his life... but none of them felt like they would work.

Before long the bell had rung overhead once more and everyone was shuffling to grab their things and head to all of their next classes.

Biting his lip, Josh was determined to catch (Y/N) before she could head off to her own next class. Luckily for him she had a similar idea. Both turning to each other as they stepped out of the classroom, it was painfully quiet at first. It seemed as if they were trying to get their thoughts together really.

Finally they spoke,

"Hey would you---" "I was wondering if you'd---"

At once.

A small awkward laugh left their lips, "Please, go ahead I was going to say something dumb---" Josh quickly said moving to rub the back of his neck.

(Y/N)'s lips parted as she let out and unsure chuckle, eyes moving downwards for a moment. "I was just going to ask if you would mind if I joined you for lunch? I just am new and don't really have any---"

"Yes!" Josh quickly said, "Yes absolutely. You didn't even have to ask, you could have just showed up if you wanted to!" He quickly says to her.

The speed he seemed to talk at entertained (Y/N) a heck of a lot. A smile creeping across her face, "Okay! Thank you!" She responded.

"Do you know where the cafeteria is? I can show ya if you want??" Josh quickly continued, "I mean I'm sure you could find it on you're own, you seem very smart and capable. Most women are to be honest; I remember reading an article about how men need to---"

"That would be really great actually." (Y/N) smiled in a gentle way. 'He's even more nervous than I am.' She thought to herself.

"Oh-oh! Okay cool! Uh, do you know where Mr.Shapiro's class is?" He asks,

(Y/N) seemed to think for a minute, "113... right? I have him for chemistry this afternoon I think." She mutters.

Josh swiftly nods his head, "That's the one!! Meet me there okay?" He says.

(Y/N) nodded back, understanding the little plan they now had. "I'll see you in a little bit then?" She lightly asks.

"Yeah absolutely." Josh began to grin, suddenly beyond excited. Even as she began to walk off to her class all he could think about was how sure he was now that this year was going to be fantastic.

That was until a warning bell played overhead, "Oh shit--" Josh jumped in shock, immediately beginning to run to his next class.

//That's all for now lovely! I do actually have an idea on how to continue this one if anyone would like! Pretty please let me know in the comments if that's something you guys would like 💜//

#greta van fleet #josh kiszka #josh gvf #greta van fleet fan fiction #jake gvf #jake kiszka #awkward beans #greta van fic #greta van fleet imagines #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fluff

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amjustagirl · 3 years

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hey Nikki it's ellie !! i noticed you found my account :0 it's not like i made it particularly hard but i'd like to keep sending anonymous asks if you don't mind

the latest kuroo post ❤️❤️❤️ okay you know how old i am, i've never been in a similar situation myself but i've been hearing a lot of things from friends and you know, not everyone is as respectful and patient and it was really nice seeing someone setting the standard, even if it's just a fictional character, does that make sense?

i also noticed you said a lot of angsty pieces are based on situations you observe and i had to say you have an interesting way of viewing things

anyway how are you? i'm doing great !! patiently wait for the Kita fic, taking care of my plants, studying calculus, and Japanese as i do that, i'm technically on a summer break but i want to get ahead in uni

you chose a major that would allow you to have a relatively normal job and to retire early right? not me 💀 i want to go into astrophysics but it feels so scary sometimes you know? the competition is HUGE and you always have to stay alert and informed about the latest advancements and opportunities, i don't mind the stress but i keep wondering whether i can make it or not

but oh well worst case scenario i'll open a flower shop and hope for smth au-ish like the day dreamer that i am

see that's why i'll stay anonymous, i always go off about whatever it is that crosses my mind, it's embarrassing

that aside i really hope you're doing well or at least surviving 💛🌻

hehe i saw your reblog tags and found you!! please feel free to send in asks on anon - i have zero issues with it. i'm just happy you even wanna chat with me!!! like the recent kuroo post - yeah yknow i'm rly glad that you've never been in similar situation before, and i hope you never will because it's not....good - an understatement but yeah. it's sad that ppl think they have a right to dictate what another person does with their body but that's what happens when there isn't an emphasis on autonomy and consent when a kid is growing up! so..idk i just wanted to do my part cos that's something i feel very, very strongly about!

(ofc - to anyone reading this - if you wanna share your experiences or talk abt these issues, pls, pls pls. my inbox is always open to yall).

i....observe people. i watch people, i listen to their stories and i guess that where a lot of my inspiration to write angst comes from! idk does it make sick in the head or wtv but yeah. interesting HOW hahahaha.

i'm good and im happy to hear you're doing great! what sort of plants do you have! and omg smarty pants love that you're learning japanese!!! and calculus! you go girl! i think it's amazing that you're pursuing what you love - i think there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! but look, don't be scared about the competition as long as you tried, but my real world advice would be to always have a back up plan in case everything goes south. (maybe a flower shop???) don't be embarrassed about rambling, i rly love hearing from you :)

#Nikki chats!#Ellie<3

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mentally-unstable-pigeon · 3 years

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Okay so I'm bored and I feel like talking about how ppl found out/reacted to my sh because someone might find it useful idk prolly not (these are in chronological order)

So my best friend at school found out first, although it had been a few years by this point. She was rly chill about it, but still checked if I was okay after. She kinda saw when I was washing my hands, but didn't dwell on it when I looked uncomfortable. I already knew that she used to sh so it wasn't that bad, and she's helped a lot... Honestly I think this is the best it can possibly go

Then another friend at school found out about a year later. She never brought it up, but I figured she knew because getting changed for pe. She only bought it up when someone made a kinda iffy joke about suicide and she just checked in on me... We've never really talked seriously about it, but that's not something I'd want to do anyways... Again this was a really good experience and I'm glad to have her in my life

The fourth person to find out isn't really a person, but school which is a whole mess and I feel like they handled it really poorly... Highlights including : avoiding saying c*tting etc and resorting to "ruining your body", body checking me, calling me a zebra (it's kinda funny but yanno), and calling home, however the, did get me professional support, which is honestly the best and most helpful thing that's happened

Dad... This was just awful, but at least he didn't shout at me for it...

Best friend outside of school... I messaged her about everything at school and she was super supportive and nice, but now if she asks me if I've stopped I lie because I don't want her to worry about me, also it's not something she can really understand, which is fine... Honestly this is about as well as it could've gone and I love her loads

Every other friend at school... This wasn't fun but yknow... Basically one of my friends saw some cuts, got worried and told everyone else behind my back when I went to get food at lunch... I'm not mad because I understand she was just concerned, however it is now incredibly awkward because now I'm in a weird sitch where ik that they know, but they don't know that ik that they know... Idk, this wasn't helpful and in case anyone was wondering, pls don't do anything like this lol

#barcode #self harrrm #tw #mental eelness #tw sh #this is super long sorry lmao #but also i wanted to talk about it lol

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

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so i saw your post about artists still drawing willc, and i understand the viewpoint (i am also disappointed by lack of willr content) but i felt i should maybe provide an artist's perspective! personally, while drawing characters i like, i fall into a groove with it. they obviously became fans (perhaps far) before willr was jerm and they cultivated willc in their style already. i've gotten to a point where i don't even reference characters anymore, how i draw them Is That Character for me

i don’t follow you and just peeped your blog realizing you make art and shit that sounds condescending now cause i didn’t know you were an artist! and also although i have my Main Base characters i draw, i like to branch out to explore newer actors in the roles, so it’s still kind of disappointing there’s almost a rift between jeremys. (also ps your art is very good and cute i hope you have a nice day)

i really accept no Good Faith arguments about why there’s a noticeable lack of Specifically Roland Jeremy depictions. like, this isn’t even about individual artists; i don’t need every single person who draws a conn-style jeremy to justify it or Prove that it’s not about rejecting roland jeremy. the issue is the emergent discrepancy between them + the fact that we Do see people make adjustments for visual changes and new castings seen in 2.0/3.0, even allowing for jeremy’s new costume (or voice…..) while still retaining Will Connolly’s Appearance. which in itself is not necessarily the work of the devil but we Do see that it is A Choice that people make

there’s never any reason someone is Actually Incapable of learning how to draw anything differently. god knows we all wish that we really Could settle into a routine with the way that we draw and feel comfortable at home base but even if you do draw the exact same characters all of the time, your style evolves and your abilities improve and you really Can’t not adjust the way you draw. and inevitably we have something new we have to learn how to draw and yes it’s frustrating not feeling like you “know” how to draw it but like. if you try to learn you can. and artists will keep pulling out the “well i don’t have as much experience drawing _____ so i’m never going to draw that way” to justify some kind of nonsense about why they can’t possibly depict a fat person and it’s so totally reasonable to just imply they can’t even Make An Effort……like, not drawing some Unusual Perspective or not putting realistic folds in clothing b/c you don’t have much practice / don’t really feel like it isn’t the same as “i shouldn’t have to learn how to draw people with characteristics i’m not already used to drawing” b/c obviously a Lot of issues crop up with this that aren’t relevant with stuff like “i’m not used to drawing shoes so i’ll draw them the exact same way always”

in this case there is the way too pervasive issue that people have honest contempt for will roland because he does not look or sound a way they consider adequately Cute / attractive and that is the entire nuance of it. we’ve got people out here imagining justifications and making up objectively false arguments about why actually It’s Bad And They Dislike Him /(As Jeremy) Because ___ but then you really do have people flat-out owning it that they don’t like him b/c of how he looks. this is the Entire Issue. if this wasn’t a factor then we’d see a more balanced ratio in terms of The Way People Are Willing To Imagine This Character. there’s only two guys to have played this role (and only very recently several appearances by alternates) and while the fanbase exploded on the connolly look and sound, there’s been like. a whole Year of will roland jeremy and if the only issue was “it’s difficult to learn how to draw a new person” then, well, there’s been time to practice.

again i accept no arguments that so many people are refusing to draw will roland jeremy In Good Faith. this isn’t about individual artists; the Trend or Pattern inherently requires looking at a whole group to be discernible

like, i don’t really search out bmc fanart, so what i come across is a pretty random selection of recent-er works, and i’ve very very rarely seen Only 1.0 Cast fanart, yet i’ve also very rarely seen Clearly Roland Jeremy fanart. people are willing to learn to draw characters in a new / multiple ways, but there is this unwillingness to imagine jeremy the way he looks as played by will roland because yknow. god forbid you compromise the mental image of a willowy conventionally prettier jeremy

honestly and it also feels like a rare occasion when i see a jared that looks all that much like will roland in particular. obviously there’s a lot more options re: people who’ve played the role and so like, okay. but at the same time it’s wild that like, the Collectively Imagined Usual Depiction Of Jared does not share that much in common with will roland besides being a white short-haired brunette in glasses. it’s like, wonder of wonders when someone’s fanart of jared is clearly based on Either of the two principle broadway actors for the role. stuck between a rock (non conventionally attractive white guy) and a hard place (he’s totally skinny! but he’s black, too!) on that one i guess

also i have one resounding complaint to make about people drawing Ostensibly-Will-Roland

the roles he’s played which receive the most fanart are obv jared kleinman and jeremy heere………….these are both canonically jewish characters……..would it absolutely kill people to ever ever ever draw a nose like how will roland’s nose actually looks Especially in these cases. sometimes we Do get examples of people drawing not-will-connolly jeremy but The Nose Looks Nothing Like Will Roland’s and it’s like oh. well that’s fantastic. we’re just defaulting to generic white brunette with “acceptably Cute small narrow upturned nose” some more then, okay, i cannot condone this

gods sake when i see a would-be 2.0 / 3.0 jeremy like

that honestly hurt me to make btw…..look noses are a challenge to draw and basically all of us simplify them but if your Shorthand Nose For Absolutely Everyone looks like the above please think about this. noses that are deemed Too Wide / Flat / Big / Hooked / Downturned are also deemed bad / ugly and like, get over that and don’t subscribe to it or propagate it. there’s no such real thing as ugliness or Objective Attractiveness and the concepts are Not at all apolitical liiiike

please everyone be conscious and analytical towards how you draw people and whether you think you have to “censor” certain physical traits and don’t use the justification of “it’s hard to learn how to depict ____” like yeah it’s hard drawing is always hard we’re all trapped in hell together, learning how to be better drawing something that we didn’t use to have any practice drawing is how anyone ever draws anything at all ever so like. it’s not an argument about why someone Can’t draw something. you only Won’t draw something and you can have good / neutral reasons behind this or terrible reasons and plenty of people won’t draw will roland looking like will roland because they think don’t think he looks cute and that’s it.

#Anonymous #god this is like months old #also thanks lmao

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lukereviewsftm-blog · 6 years

Text

Mr Limpy review

Mr Limpy (3.5") became my first ever soft packer about two weeks ago. I'm not sure if that's enough time to decide whether I'm in love with it or purely despise it. There are a lot of pros and cons to this that I haven't seen many people talk about. That or it's just me who's experiencing this.

Well, let's get into it.

Okay first of all the packaging and it's realistic-ness. The packaging was of course discreet (from ftmesstentials). Came within 2-3 days I think, don't recall but it wasn't long. There's nothing to worry about with the packaging to say the least. In terms of how it looks, man, this thing is super detailed. It has the peehole too, which I don't see too often in soft packers. The detail on this thing is so far the best I've seen. Y'know aside from the lousy 3 colors you get to pick from, pink (and i mean pink), vanilla (which I chose because I thought I was lighter than I am but I was wrong), and caramel (probably thinking I should've picked this even though it was a few shades darker than my skin). But whatever, when did packers ever come in your original skin color anyways? Yeap, there's no shading on this one my dears. So the color wasn't too realistic, but at least it looks nice.

So overall for packaging and looks? I give it a 9/10.

Moving onto how this guy actually feels in my underwear. I honestly feel like I'll be complaining throughout the rest of this review. Let's just cut to the chase, I think it's safe to say that it felt uncomfortable the first few days. This one takes a bit of getting used to. (I'm not sure if that's just me, I haven't heard this problem with anyone else but yknow, everyone's different and I'm speaking from my brutally honest experience and perspective). Well, I found my hand in my underwear every few minutes or so. Some of you might think I'm wearing underwear that's unfit to pack with. That might be the case, but I wear super tight boxer briefs from H&M (if y'all shop there y'all would know that these underwear don't have the peehole in them. And in that aspect, I find H&M underwear to be more superior than the tommy ones that I own). So I don't necessarily think the problem lies in my underwear, cause these boys are tight enough to make it look like I actually have some ass. lmao tmi. Anyways the problem with this guy is, like everyone says, he's ballsy! Too ballsy. The size of the shaft and all is beautiful, wonderful. But damn the balls are wayyyy too huge for the rest of the packer. This thing is like 60% balls honestly. And that's where the problem lies dormant.

First of all, in jeans. In jeans and shorts that aren't basketball or any type of flowy shorts, this guy is wonderful. Wonderful until I walk out of the car and into Target where the packer itself has managed to turn completely sideways! I've heard one other person talk about this problem with this specific packer before. But then again, I find my hand in my underwear trying to fixate it to one spot. It works like that, like a cycle for the rest of the day. I give it around 30 mins until I feel like I really have to fix it.

But those are in jeans. Shorts and sweats are a different story. In sweats they make an obvious bulge, again because this guy is super ballsy. Everytime I'm lounging at home or with my girl in sweats or basketball shorts, It always looks like I'm up for action. Literally. I'm still sorta having this problem. Again, it takes some getting used to. And it always depends on you and what's comfortable to you. So far I think I'm getting the hang of it, finding the correct and most comfortable position anyways. But it's only been two weeks time for me, and I'm sure that's nothing compared to the 17 years I've lived without a penis. So of course it's going to take a lot of time to get used to it. Don't get frustrated and think that this packer is terrible, I mean it might be for you, but give it some time and don't give up on him. It's all trial and error. Trial and error.

So in terms of comfortableness? 6/10 mates. For now anyways.

This is just the etc. portion of this review. This guy tends to emit an odor. I mean what wouldn't after being all up against your sweaty junk all day? No surprise. But this guy's odor is strong, for me anyways. (A little embarrassing yeah, but I'm not the only one with this problem from what I've seen.) My previous body wash didn't serve well in masking the smell. The one I have now definitely does a spectacular job with it. So yknow, I recommend trying out different soaps and stuff for your packer. I just wash it in the shower with me so, I'm not sure what temperature it's best to wash it in. This guy also gets real sticky afterwards, so yknow dusting it off with the powder stuff or cornstarch should work, but personally I skip this step. (Not sure if that's a good idea or not, haven't exactly done my research on that.) I think the stickiness allows it to stay in place more than when it's not. Remember, washing and caring for your packer is important and vital to it's health and longevity!

More stuff here:

I have taken this to the pool and to the hot tub. So if you wanna know how that went, keep on reading.

I was worried about the pool because of chlorine, although I've heard it's perfectly fine for the beach's salt water. Someone said it was perfectly fine in the pool so I went in with it. I wore regular swimming trunks, ones with the net in it. I also didn't wear underwear because I totally forgot to pack some (the pool was at my friend's place). Luckily for me the net in the trunks were elastic, sorta like a hair tie but not that tight. Tight enough to keep my junior in place while I swam around. I stayed in the pool for about an hour, occasionally getting out of the water. It handled just fine. Personally it really helped with dysphoria when swimming. Because the bulge was there to show that I'm just a male swimming with a shirt on.

10/10 in the pool.

The hot tub, I was a little hesitant with. Because I've read the you shouldn't boil this dude. Probably because it'll melt into a pile of goo. But you know, I went in anyways. Maybe around 30 mins in total? The packer was totally fine despite the hot tub serving its purpose, being hot. I don't suggest sticking around for more than an hour though, but what do I know?

8/10 for the hot tub!

I hope this was helpful! I don't regret buying it though. A good first time packer, good for the price too. I know finding your first packer is hard, but tbh you won't know whether you like it or not until you actually buy it! Good luck.

If you have any questions please ask.

#ftm #mrlimpy #trans male #trans #transgender #review #packer #ftm packer

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