#yes billy joel and miley cyrus what of it.
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"The kingdom come, the rise, the fall
The setting sun above it all
I just wanna be somebody to you"
Heather’s Top 50 Songs of 2023
thumbs — sabrina carpenter // dragostea din tei — feuerschwanz // edge of midnight — miley cyrus & stevie nicks // warrior of the mind — jorge rivera-herrans // happier than ever — kelly clarkson // flowers — miley cyrus // see you again — miley cyrus // six — six cast // fairytale — joel sunny // middle of the night — elley duhe // our light — lyn // it's terror time again — sesamoid // eat your young — hozier // step into darkness — dubkiller // got you — ga eun // just a man — jorge rivera-herrans // labour — paris paloma // the tornado — owl city // green green grass — george ezra // suzume — radwimps // can't take my eyes off you — boys town gang // survive — jorge rivera-herrans // mermaids— florence & the machine // unknown/Nth — hozier // we didn't start the fire — fall out boy // hold me like a grudge — fall out boy // where is the justice — death note musical // 30/90 — andrew garfield // everyday — buddy holly // i'm just ken — ryan gosling // what was i made for? — billie eilish // speechless — naomi scott // son of nyx — hozier // damage gets done — hozier & brandi carlile // paradise valley — honey and the sting // stand by me — florence & the machine // my prayer — the platters // baby don't hurt me — david guetta // quietly yours — birdy // someone to you — banners // one more time — blink 182 // adelaide — ramblewood // i'm just your problem — lur // you're gonna be okay — ashh blackwood // mr lonely — angel olsen // now and then — the beatles // vois sur ton chemin — bennett // history is now — natalie holt // purpose is glorious — natalie holt // the power — borislav slavov
short version | long version | spotify wrapped
short version is the link to what you see here, my helpfully abridged version. long version will lead you to the 141 song, 8 hour and 17 minute supercut playlist which i’ve been slowly cultivating since early january. spotify wrapped will lead you to a mixture of the long and the short version, which is honestly pretty accurate but does not helpfully represent my ear worms of the week. i also skewed my data for it by listening to the spiritfarer and hollow knight soundtracks on repeat to ease the wedding anxieties.
also fun fact, the cover for this year's mix is actually a picture of the tree outside our room during our wedding day.
under the cut are the lyrics that really resonated with me and only a little personal tidbits from this year, because let's be real, nobody cares.
i. thumbs || sabrina carpenter
'cause that's just the way of the world
it never ends 'til the end and then you start again
This one was playing as we left the florence concert late last year and dogged me all through january and february last winter.
ii. dragostea din tei || feuerschwanz
Alo, salut, sunt eu un haiduc
Si te rog iubirea mea primeste fericirea
Yes, it's a metal cover. Yes, I found it on tiktok. Yes, I love it unconditionally.
iii. edge of midnight || miley cyrus & stevie nicks
The midnight sky is the road I'm takin'
Head high up in the clouds (oh, oh)
There's THREE Miley Cyrus songs on here this year. Nuts. I really loved cranking this while driving home from Newark back when I was still hybrid. Much serotonin in those gray winter months.
iv. warrior of the mind || jorge rivera-herrans & teagan earley
Maybe one day they'll follow me and we'll
Make a greater tomorrow, then they'll see
Is it REALLY a surprise that Epic grabbed me by the throat this year?
v. happier than ever || kelly clarkson
You ruined everything good
Always said you were misunderstood
Made all my moments your own
Just fucking leave me alone
I actually ended up hearing the Billie Eilish version of this first, but I ended up reading a post about how Billie's version was for the shitty boyfriend's of the world but Kelly's was to her mom and just. That resonated SO so much that it's stuck with me ever since. I have a complicated relationship with mine. She didn't come to my wedding this year. Anyway, definitely screamed this in my car on long drives.
vi. flowers || miley cyrus
i can buy myself flowers
write my name in the sand
I need to preface this with the fact that my partner and I have a wonderful relationship that I wouldn't trade for the world. This song is still a fucking banger.
vii. see you again || miley cyrus
I got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim
I have a heart that will never be tamed
Third Miley song of the year, I believe all ear worms before March. I ended up getting in a Tiktok loop of body transformations set to this song while I was really getting into working with weights. It was great inspiration that I DEARLY needed that early into things. The song is also incredibly catchy.
viii. six || six cast
we're one of a kind, no category
too many years lost in his story
I honestly feel like we saw this musical last year but this song in particular dogged me into this one.
ix. fairytale || joel sunny
*instrumental*
Found this instrumental version of a much beloved song due to a random discover weekly and loved it so much that I seriously considered using it in my wedding.
x. middle of the night || elley duhe
Come, lay me down
'Cause you know this
'Cause you know this sound
Shh, it's the horny booktok song. I won't be shamed.
xi. our light || lyn
夢を夢と気づいた夜 君を見つめ瞼を閉じる
温もりも重ねた手も声も 目覚めれば微睡みへと消えて
I have been trying to finish persona 5 royal since 2020. this year, i finally beat it.
xii. it's terror time again || sesamoid
Oh, you just might die of fright,
It's a terrifying time.
Yes, it's a Scooby Doo remix. yes, I love it.
xiii. eat your young || hozier
I'm starving, darling
Let me put my lips to something
Let me wrap my teeth around the world
The horniest Hozier song since Take Me to Church in my humble opinion. I adored it immediately.
xiv. step into darkness || dubkiller
Blood on your hands, maybe you're dreaming?
Do you believe, nightmares you're seeing?
Tiktok?
xv. got you || ga eun
Will you promise you’ll rescue me
Take me from eternal loneliness
This was the theme song (I think?) to a Korean drama we were obsessed with for a little bit and I don't think we ever finished? Song is interesting though and sticks with you.
xvi. just a man || jorge rivera-herrans
When does a ripple become a tidal wave?
When does the reason become the blame?
When does a man become a monster?
More Epic, because I am a mythology loving twelve year old at heart. The many, MANY tiktoks to this particular song did not help.
xvii. labour || paris paloma
The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
It's catchy. I had more typed out but tumblr fucking ate it, so fuck it.
xviii. the tornado || owl city
A little rain never hurt no one, so I kept pressin' on
And I tried to tell myself it's always darkest before the dawn
Another song I played very loudly while driving home.
xix. green green grass || george ezra
Green, green grass, blue, blue sky
You better throw a party on the day that I die
Dancy song!
xx. suzume || radwimps
ル・ル・ルルルルル・ルルル・ルルルルルル
ル・ル・ルルルルル・ルルル・ルルルルルル
We saw this in theaters! I really loved it!
xxi. can't take my eyes off you || boys town gang
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
The Tiktok dances got me. More serotonin when I really needed it.
xxii. survive || jorge rivera-herrans
Six hundred lives I'll take
Six hundred lives I'll break
And when I kill you, then my deed is over
More Epic!
xxiii. mermaids || florence & the machine
You only get one night upon the shore
So dance like you've never danced before
I love Florence. That is all.
xxiv. unknown / nth || hozier
You know the distance never made a difference to me
I swam a lake of fire, I'd have walked across the floor of any sea
Hozier was honestly the artist that kept me the most company this year if I'm not counting Spiritfarer or Hollow Knight.
xxv. we didn't start the fire || fall out boy
Mars rover, Avatar, self-driving electric cars
SSRI's, Prince and The Queen die
World trade, second plane, what else do I have to say?
I know it won't happen, but I hope every generation does a remake/remix of this song. Also, I saw Billy Joel himself in concert this year!
xxvi. hold me like a grudge || fall out boy
Hold me, hold me like a grudge
The world is always spinning, and I can't keep up, whoa
Honestly, I was a fan.
xxvii. where is the justice || death note cast
isn't everybody sick to death of all this stuff
can't we all stand up and say enough?
This song gets stuck in my head like no one's business.
xxviii. 30/90 || tick tick boom cast
making choices, wicked witches
poppy fields, or men behind the curtain
tiger lilies, ruby slippers
clock is ticking, that's for certain
I still think that if Stranger Things did a musical episode Steve Harrington would have Andrew Garfield from Tick Tick Boom energy.
xxix. everyday || buddy holly
Every day seems a little longer
Every way, love's a little stronger
Good Omens 2 dropped! I loved it! I also didn't love it! But mostly I was just happy.
xxx. i'm just ken || ryan gosling
I wanna know what's like to love, to be the real thing
Is it a crime? Am I not hot when I'm in my feelings?
And is my moment finally here, or am I dreaming?
I went to see this movie by myself because I was sick of waiting for someone to go with me and honestly had a great time. It was silly and fun and I loved the fact that so many dudes got so incredibly butt-hurt about it.
xxxi. what was i made for || billie eilish
'Cause I, I
I don't know how to feel
But I wanna try
God, this song. It made me cry at the end of Barbie and I've been getting up in my feelings about it ever since.
xxxii. speechless — naomi scott
I will take these broken wings
And watch me burn across the sky
Apparently this is from the Aladdin live action? I haven't seen it so I can't confirm, but I DID hear this song this summer and fall in love with it.
xxxiii. son of nyx || hozier
*instrumental*
This one might be my favorite?
xxxiv. damage gets done || hozier
And, darling, I haven't felt it since then
I don't know how the feeling ended
But I know being reckless and young
Is not how the damage gets done
Another Hozier!!!!!!
xxxv. paradise valley || honey and the sting
Take what you want from me
I bring it willingly
I may have done these next three out of order, but hey! I got married this year! As some of you may know, paradise valley has been the song that I have been obsessed with since I first heard it on Wolf 359 back in 2018/2019. I couldn't figure out a way to make it work in a traditional sense for the wedding, so I ended up using it as a private last dance. As the clock was hitting ten o'clock we had our dj gently shoo the stragglers out the door and just crooned this to each other in the dark. It was probably my favorite part of the entire night.
xxxvi. stand by me || florence & the machine
So darlin', darlin', stand by me
Oh, stand by me
This was our first dance. As it should be. We timed our few spins around the 'darlins' and it honestly went great. 10 out of 10, would dance again.
xxxvii. my prayer || the platters
My prayer is to linger with you
At the end of the day
I did a sneaky thing. It was Nick's grandparents 65th wedding anniversary a few days before our wedding, so I quietly found out "their song" and had our DJ play it as the first official couples/slow dance of the night after wishing them a happy anniversary. They cried. I cried. The photographer cried. It was great.
xxxviii. baby don't hurt me || david guetta
What is love?
Baby, don't hurt me
Yeah, it's just a catchy cover.
xxxix. quietly yours || birdy
I've always been yours
Only yours
This was from the Persuasion soundtrack and god, it's just so achingly haunting.
xl. someone to you || banners
I don't wanna die or fade away
I just wanna be someone
Well, doesn't everyone?
Look. I just wanna be someone.
xli. one more time — blink 182
Do I have to die to hear you miss me?
Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye?
I don't wanna act like there's tomorrow
I don't wanna wait to do this one more time
One more time. I got tickets to their concert next year. We'll see if they cancel this one.
xlii. adelaide || ramblewood
Wish you could lay those shadows down
And find your way back home
I think this is a local artist? I fell in love with the song though.
xliii. i'm just your problem || lur
Sorry I don't treat you like a goddess
Is that what you want me to do?
Watched Fionna and Cake in like a day and a half and fell all the way back in love with Bonnie and Marceline.
xliv. you're gonna be okay || ashh blackwood
puff out your chest, take a deep breath
you're gonna be okay
This showed up on an anxiety mix and now I literally sing it to myself if I'm having a fast day. It is VERY short, but impactful.
xlv. mr lonely || angel olsen
Now, I am a soldier
A lonely soldier
Away from home
Through no wish of my own
My Yuletide fic that has not yet been revealed was about [REDACTED]. I listened to this and a handful of other sad, lonely songs while writing it.
xlvi. now and then || the beatles
Oh, now and then
I want you to be there for me
This song has DEVASTATED me since it came out. I will not be the same again.
xlvii. vois sur ton chemin || bennett
Vois sur ton chemin
Gamins oubliés, égarés
Another tiktok ear worm. I'm not much for techno, but I love this one.
xlviii. history is now || natalie holt
*instrumental*
Loki fucked me all the way up, guys. I know everyone is crying about it, and I'm crying too! It's beautiful and tragic and one of the most fantastic endings for a character arc that I have EVER seen out of Marvel. I HOPE they leave it alone. I hope they leave it as is so we get to keep the beautiful ending and they don't fuck it up.
xlix. purpose is glorious || natalie holt
*instrumental*
Again, fucked me ALL the way up. I wept. And watched it three times in a row. These two songs will be on my writing playlist for the rest of time.
l. the power || borislav slavov
I found you too soon
Shining star of mine, hold tight
Don't fight the power
I have not officially finished Baldur's Gate. However, every iteration of this song is haunting me.
#heather says what#fanmixes#2023#year in review#year in music#new year's memes#music makes the world go round
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Tagged by @anotherevencoolerdad and tagging: @mushroomjar @mouth-dreaming @flamebearrel @flowersbyphone
[ID: Three versions of a 4x4 grid asking "What music do you have in common with" followed by a blank space for the person doing the meme to put their name, and instructions underneath to leave a blank. The first is Jeff's selection of artists with the ones I listen to circled; the second is mine; and the last is a blank. Full transciption under cut:
Jeff's selection: Flight of the Conchords; Dorian Electra; Hozier; Miley Cyrus; Regina Spektor; Doja Cat; Taylor Swift; Lorde; Fleetwood Mac; Dolly Parton; Beyonce; Talking Heads; RuPaul; Billy Joel; Ethel Cain; Kim Petras.
Of these, I've cirlced FotC, Hozier, Regina Spektor, Fleetwood Mac, Dolly Parton, Beyonce, Talking Heads, and Billy Joel.
My selection: Lemon Demon; PinocchioP; Mothy; Jonathan Coulton; Fleet Foxes; The Scary Jokes; The Megas; Mitski; DECO*27; The Kinks; ELO; They Might Be Giants; Yes; Simon and Garfunkel; Neil Diamond; The Beach Boys. End ID]
#my music taste is such a mix of classic oldies and then like. whatever the fuck#for filling out jeff's i used looser criteria than they did themself#so i don't necessarily listen to all the artists i circled actively or regularly#it was more a matter of whether i particularly appreciate when a song of theirs comes on#tag game
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Expect the Unexpected: dadstiel father's day ficlet
based off this anon's genius ask
They were late. Not that they actually had a strict schedule to stick to, but when it came to hunts, Claire didn't like to mess around. She did take this very seriously after all.
But the drive took longer than expected and they didn't get to the motel until around three am, and it took them longer to get out of bed this morning, which was admittedly Claire's fault. And they forgot to steam out their suits with the bathroom shower, so now they're late, in slightly wrinkled suits, speed walking through the parking lot at almost ten thirty am. And yeah maybe Claire's freaking out a bit, but what if the messy suits give them away, or what if another hunter got here already? Maybe they should run? The parking lot is empty so it's not lik-
"Hey, slow down, I don't think they bodies are going anywhere" Kaia laughed, gently grabbing Claire's hand to pull her back.
"I know, but we said we'd get there by nine thirty an-"
"Claire. The case isn't gonna disappear if we're forty five minutes later than we wanted to be. Okay?" Kaia assured, as she forced Claire to stop walking for a moment.
God why did she always have to be right?
"I know I know it's jus-okay fine" Claire sighed in defeat, but Kaia rewarded her with a quick peck on the lips, and pulled her inside.
They both flashed their badges with practiced confidence, and were easily lead to the correct room. The secretary didn't even bat an eye at their slightly wrinkled suits.
Yeah so maybe Claire was freaking out for noth-
"Agent Joel, and this is my partner Agent Cyrus"
Fuck. There's no way
(read rest under the cut)
"Clai-"
"Agents. I didn't know you were also assigned this case"
Because standing over the dead body on the examining table, was Castiel and Jack, in that ratty trench coat and a too big suit respectively.
Well, apparently another hunter did beat them to the case.
"Uh could you give us a moment to confer?" Cas asked attempting to hide his surprise, and the coroner nodded and left without a word.
"Claire! Kaia! I didn't know you guys were working the case too!" Jack started surprised, running over to give each of them a quick hug. They had met a ton of times over the past year, sometimes he even came and hung out at Jody's. And after the initial shock of Cas having a three year old who looked like he was twenty, Claire honestly liked the kid.
"Hey Jack, Cas. We didn't know you guys would be here either? I guess wires got crossed or something?" Kaia shrugged as she gave a little wave to Cas. But before Claire could say anything, Jack was tugging Kaia off to the side, talking a mile a minute about god knows what. And Cas was making his way, over to Claire.
"Hello Claire. I'm sorry I had no idea you two would be working this case. Jacks just been begging to go on another hunt, and this was the closest one to the Bunker. But we can try to find a diff-"
"Nono it's not a big deal. We can just find a different case. It wouldn't be fair, since the kid seems pretty excited about it" Claire said trying to shrug it off.
It's not like she was emotionally attached to this particular case, but it's been a while since her and Kaia had been on a hunt alone. So yeah maybe she was looking forward to it, bu-
"Well, maybe we could all work the case together? That is, if you'd want to?" Cas offered with a slightly nervous smile.
Okay so, it's not that Claire doesn't like Cas, she's seen him a lot over the years, they text and talk all the time, and he's been there for her a lot lately. Claire actually really likes the guy, but it's not like she's gonna tell him that, but it's just-Cas always treats her like she's the same naive teenager she was when they met again six years ago. And she's grown and learned a lot, she's a professional hunter now. At least Dean, and hell even Jody, gets that, they see the changes, but Cas.....
Claire glances over his shoulder to see Jack and Kaia laughing as to themselves, and she feels something pull in her chest as she quickly looks back to Cas.
Damnit.
"Uh sure, could be fun I guess? Besides we haven't seen you or the kid in the a while, but you have to explain why there's four FBI agents working this single murder case" Claire asserts, but Cas smiles brightly anyway.
"Deal" Cas agrees with a little tip of his head. God what a fucking dork, Claire thinks with a fond eyeroll.
“Also, Joel and Cyrus, really?” Claire teased as she walked over to join Kaia and Jack.
“I let Jack pick them out, and he insisted on picking our favorite singers” Cas sighed fondly, causing Claire to tip her head back in laughter.
And just like that the Coroner came back in, and they each took turns asking the routine questions, Jack with maybe too bright of a smile on his face. The guy was twenty-five, and his friends dared him to spend a night alone in this local old house that was apparently, haunted for real. And when his friends went to pick him up in the morning, they found him bleeding out in the foyer, with giant gashes all over.
So they decided to check out the house first, where Kaia and Jack both got tossed across the room by some creepy looking guy with a giant meat cleaver. Which basically confirmed Claire's theory of it being vengeful spirit, and they went back to Cas and Jack's room to research who the guy might be. So simple salt and burn.
And overall, things were actually going really great, Claire got to spend time with Kaia, plus she got to see Jack and Cas and share some laughs doing what she loves. She also got to help Cas show Jack some of the ropes, give him some hunting tips, which was awesome, since she's never gotten to be the teacher in this situation.
"Alright so tonight, why don't Kaia and I check out the house to make sure it's really gone, while Jack and Cas go find the guys grave?" Claire suggested as she stole a french fry off of Kaia's plate, who hummed in agreement
"Oh we get to burn the bones? I've only gotten to do that once before!" Jack began loudly, but quickly changed to a whisper after a warning look from Cas, they were in a crowded diner after all.
But the only one who hadn't spoken was Cas, who's face was scrunched up in thought.
"Claire I'm not sure splitting up is the best idea" Cas supplied carefully, which made Claire roll her eyes in annoyance.
God there he goes again, acting like Claire's some dumb kid. As if she hasn't handled herself just fine for years.
"C'mon Cas, me and Kaia hunt alone all the time, hell I've even done a ton of solo hunts. It'll be more effective this way, you burn the bones, and if it doesn't work we'll know immediately and figure out another way to waste the guy" Claire continued and watched as Cas looked from Jack to Kaia and back to Claire, sighing in defeat.
"Okay, but we'll all stay on the phone in case burning the bones doesn't work" Cas bargained, which Claire assumed was fair, and they all went back to eating happily.
So they split up, Claire and Kaia set up a salt line in the foyer, rock salt guns loaded and ready to go, with Cas and Jack on speaker at the cemetery. But of course, torching the bones didn't work. So now they had a pissed off, homicidal spirit chasing them with a giant meat cleaver, as Claire and Kaia raced around the house looking for the object it might be attached too while Jack and Cas yelled through the phone.
So yeah things were going pretty great actually.
Until they weren't.
"Cas I had it handled, I didn't need-"
"Claire I know, but it already sliced your arm and it was lunging right at yo-"
"But I was fine. I can take care of mys-"
"Claire, I know that-and please stop throwing your arm around you're going to reopen the wound-Claire, I was only trying to pro-"
"Well I didn't ask you to, I didn't ask you for any of this. I'm not some dumb little kid. I've been doing this for years, and I'm good at what I do, I can handle some stupid spirit. And I certainly don't need you to protect me from anything, since you did a pretty shit job of that already" Claire shouted, turning to look at him.
And when she caught sight of his wide, ashamed eyes, she felt something drop deep in her stomach, all of the fight draining out of her.
"Cas no I didn-I just-" Claire groaned running her hands through her hair, daring a glance over at Jack and Kaia who were frozen on the bed, looking at her with a hint of sympathy in their eyes. Her eyes darted back to Cas who's looked the same, except they were mostly filled with guilt.
Great. Just fucking great.
"Ya know what, I'm gonna run to the drug store-get some more bandaids. I'll be back" Claire huffed slamming the door behind her, and trudging across the motel parking lot to her car.
As she walked into the drug store, her mind was racing, rage still burning away in her stomach, and she mindlessly examined each box of bandaids.
This was stupid. The hunt was over, the guy was dead, turns out his murder weapon was the obejct they had to destroy. So it doesn't even matter anymore, but Claire's just so-
She tossed a box of bandaids back on the shelf. Maybe she should have just let Cas heal-no. Just another thing Claire thinks he needs to do for her.
And where does Cas get off trying to assume what's best for her? She can handle herself just fine, she's almost twenty four for gods sake. She's been hunting on her own for years now, and she's damn good at it, even Jody says so. She's grown and learned a lot so why can't Cas fucking just back off? And who the hell does Cas think he is, anyway? She doesn't need him to protect her, she doesn't need someone to save her, definitely not Cas of all peop-
With a huff Claire shoves another box back on the shelf, maybe a bit too aggressive and digs her palms into her eyes to ground herself.
What is she doing?
She forgave- or as close to forgiveness as you can get with this kinda thing- Cas a long time ago. She didn't wanna live with that rage and pain anymore, it was weighing her down and it fucking sucked. So she's made "peace" with it. And if she's really being honest, she really does like Cas a lot, he's like some doofy, powerful guy, who says some of the weirdest and funniest things she's ever heard. Plus, he sure as hell cares a lot, and he's tried to make it as "right", as possible and respected what Claire wanted.
But just because Claire's made peace with it and thinks he's a good guy, doesn't mean she's not allowed to be pissed.
Claire quickly swipes a brand of bandaids and gauzes she's used before, and weaves her way through the aisles. But she catches something out of the corner of her eye that has her stopping in her tracks.
A Father's Day display.
Something drops deep in the pit of her stomach, as her heart leaps into her throat.
And she's instantly transported back to age five, with memories of homemade cards, barbeques in the backyard, and her dad with a bright smile as he carefully opened her gift. A new tie.
She feels her phone buzz in her pocket, effectively breaking her out of the trance. She quickly swipes at her eyes before reading it.
It’s an apology from Cas.
Claire feels herself rubbing at her eyes again, the grief and pain of loss mixing with guilt and affection and confusion and anger all at once, struggling to gain dominance.
But before she can even process it all, another text come through, asking if she can grab some of Jack's favorite snacks, with way too many emojis.
And before she realizes it, a wet laugh escapes, as she squeezes the phone in her hand. She quickly glances back up at the display, a small, somber smile pulling at her lips.
And she makes a choice.
The next morning they’re all lingering in the parking lot before saying their goodbyes. Claire offered to check them all out, dragging Jack along before leaving Kaia and Cas alone.
"Here, you should be the one to give it to him" Claire says quickly stuffing a bag in Jack's hands.
"But it's from all of us?" Jack questioned, familiarly tilting his head, and Claire couldn't help but smile.
Last night Claire went back to the drugstore, now with Kaia and Jack in tow under the guise of picking up dinner. They each signed the card, even convincing Kaia to write something too. Jack even insisted on getting him one of those cheesy #1 Dad mugs, because apparently even though Cas didn't need it, he liked to drink coffee.
"Yeah I know, but you picked out the mug. So you can give it to him later" Claire assured, and quickly stalked across the parking lot with Jack in tow.
Jack can just hide it in his backpack and give it to Cas when they get home, so he can read their messages in a place where Claire is preferably, not present.
But to Claire's horror, annoyance at her own self because she should have seen this coming, Jack immediately handed Cas the gift.
"Happy Father's Day! It's from all of us, I know it's early but I thought you should open it while we're all together!" Jack declared with a bright smile, while Kaia gently found and squeezed Claire's hand. Cas just looked over at Claire and Kaia, confusion swimming in his eyes
"We all picked it up from the drugstore when we went to grab dinner last night. Thought it might be nice" Kaia answered evenly, but Claire could tell she was nervous. She knew she was worried about how Kaia fit into this fam...well whatever it was.
Cas simply nodded as he worked to recover from his initial shock, he slowly pulled out the mug first, smiling as he read it.
"I picked out the mug! But Claire put the quotes around the Dad, she said you'd think it was funny" Jack informed him, which only caused Cas to chuckle warmly as he pulled out the card.
Claire thought her heart might hammer out of her chest as she leaned into Kaia's touch. Damnit, why couldn't the kid have just waited until he was home.
"Thank you. All of you, thi-this means so much" Cas choked out, voice thick as he finished reading with a disbelieving smile. He hugged Jack first, pressing a kiss to his head.
"See, he loved it? You should talk to him" Kaia suggested in a no nonsense tone, pressing a kiss to Claire's lips before walking towards their car. Cas stopped her of course, wrapping her in a tight hug, and Kaia whispered something Claire couldn't make out, before she pulled Jack over to the other side of the lot. Claire looked at Cas, noticing his eyes were shining, and quickly looked at a rock on the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
"That was very kind of you. You didn't have to do all that for me" Cas said softly as he cautiously approached Claire, leaving some space between them.
"Yeah well, I don't know. I saw the cards at the store and I thought it might be nice..." Claire trailed off, braving another glance at Cas who's eyes were a little misty. Her eyes flitted to the side to see Kaia giving her an encouraging and a nod towards Cas, before turning back to Jack.
Well, it's now or never.
"Look Cas. I'm sorry I blew up yesterday, and I appreciate your-your apology. But I don't need you to protect me, you gotta know I'm not some dumb-"
"Claire, I know. You've become an incredible hunter, I'm not worried about your hunting skills or think that you need protecting. I just worry and want to protect you because I care about you" Cas stated sincerely.
Oh.
And yeah she knows Cas cared and she knows he was only trying to help, and maybe logically she knows that Cas was't acting like that because he thought she was a some inexperienced crap hunter. But hearing it is just-
Something warm swims in her stomach, as her heart thumps against her chest, as she swallows thickly.
"Listen, about the card, I- I know you aren't him, and you'll never be him okay? So you aren't my dad and I’m not looking to replace but-but you're kinda-you've kinda been like a Da-a figure lately and I know you said you care and I appreciate-and I car-I feel lik-"Claire attempted to choke out, but the next thing she knew, she's stopping and flinging her arms around his neck, hoping it'll convey everything she wants to say.
And it must, because Cas' arms wrap tightly around her, and she finds herself grabbing the back of that ratty trench coat, smiling to herself for a moment.
When they pulled away Cas gives her a soft smile, as she quickly wipes at her eyes.
"You and Kaia should come for dinner next Friday at the bunker. Deans texted me about it six times, and I'm sure Jack would love to show you his room....if you wanted that is-of course you don't hav-"
"Yeah Cas, that actually sounds kinda nice. Haven't had a chance to bother Dean in a while, anyway" Claire shrugged with a smile, which he easily returned.
And later as Claire drove back to Jody's, one hand on the wheel, the other loosely grasping Kaia's, she found herself really looking forward to next Friday.
Tag list:
Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed💛
@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @bichaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @subbydean @organicpurplepants @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @writtendevastation
@tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @sinnabonka @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @icefire149 @dakiaty @seffersonjtarship @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @jewishdeanwinchester @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @aestheticflyer26
@slipper007 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-novak @lyonessrampant @angelic-bee-enthusiast @nguyenxtrang @idiot-on-the-hill @fandoms-and-things @doreschary @confix @itsanending @thiscowboyisbisexual @milfcodeddean @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie @smokerdean
#yes billy joel and miley cyrus what of it.#so i actually forgot i wrote most of this and then i spent a really long time debating whether or not to post it#also this is so long for like no reason so im sorry asfhakfhabd but yay claire!!!!!!!!!!!#air quotes dad mug is funny TO ME. i like to think that cas never stopped doing air quotes bc it made dean laugh#i actually had a fluffier fathers day fic but here have some angst#(i am very dean coded so im sorry if claire is TOO much dean asdhfskfjhs)#happy fathers day to CAS<333333#bec writes#claire novak#castiel#kaia nieves#jack kline#dadstiel#dadstiel fic#ficlet#idk how to tag this?#userzaddy#qaslight
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 15/05/2021 (Coldplay, J. Cole, Trippie Redd & Playboi Carti)
I’m awful at predicting this chart, I really am, but most of that is probably down to how I only make vague predictions at the end of each episode without even considering most releases that’ll actually chart. Let’s just say I didn’t expect nine new arrivals this week. At the top, however, little has changed as the absolutely huge “Body” by Russ Millions and Tion Wayne with a remix featuring whoever the hell is spending its second week at #1. The rest of the chart, however, gets a bit more interesting. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.
Rundown
The biggest story to effect the chart this week is of course 2021’s BRIT Awards happening this Tuesday, which I’m sure boosted a lot of songs during the mid-week. I also actually covered the awards show on that day if you’re curious, with some of my observations, predictions and opinions. We can very clear see – or hear, for that matter – the impact of the BRIT Awards in this week’s chart, as it did cause a lot of gains and new arrivals that shook up the chart right in the middle of the tracking week. Firstly, we do have some drop-outs from the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, only one of them, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy, being all that important given it was a top five hit but we do have a handful that lasted five or more weeks or peaked in the top 40, like “Medicine” by James Arthur flopping embarrassingly, “Addicted” by Jorja Smith dropping out to prepare for the rebound next week given her album release and “Solid” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake.
Speaking of Drake, he also provides the singular returning entry as “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby is proving to be the actual hit from that three-pack from March, coming back to #65. Scaling down the chart, we also have some notable losses, songs that dropped at least five spots on this week’s chart. Those that fell include “Your Power” by Billie Eilish dropping harshly to #15 off of the debut, as well as “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #18, “Confetti” by Little Mix to #21 off of the return (with Saweetie, the artist quite literally solely the reason it’s had this second wind, still bizarrely left without a credit by the UK Singles Chart), “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #27, “Titanium” by Dave at #31, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted (yes, THEY’RE credited) at #36, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G at #42, “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Giveon at #44, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #47, “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #49, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #51, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 and Megan Thee Stallion at #55, “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #56, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK at #59, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #67, “You” by Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae at #69, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #70, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber getting ACR’d at #71, “Streets” by Doja Cat at #73 and finally, “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #75.
Filling up the room for those losses, however, are the gains, always a tad more interesting, as the songs that rose at least five spots on this week’s chart – or make their first appearance in the top 40, 20 or 10 – are usually having the BRITs to thank to some capacity. The climbers include “Summer 91 (Looking Back)” giving Noizu his first top 40 hit at #31 (and I’ll admit, the song is growing on me), Griff also getting her first with “Black Hole” at #35 thanks to her win and performance at the BRITs, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI rebounding to #13 thanks to that once-again uncredited remix with Miley Cyrus and finally, entering the top 10 for the first time is “Anywhere Away from Here” by Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk at #9, getting the boost from a perfect trifecta of gains: Rag’n’Bone Man released his album on Friday then on Tuesday had the closing performance of this song at the BRIT Awards with additional vocals from the Lewisham and Greenwich NHS choir, who are also now appearing on a new release of the song the day after, prompting a whole lot of sales, of which I assume and hope are going to charity. It’s Rag’n’Bone Man’s third top 10 hit, P!nk’s 21st(!) and interestingly enough, the NHS choir’s second top 10 hit as they had the Christmas #1 back in 2015. With all of that out of the way, I suppose it’s time to get to our varied array of new arrivals.
NEW ARRIVALS
#74 – “Dick” – Starboi3 featuring Doja Cat
Produced by Nius and SoFLY
This week is kind of a weird week if that wasn’t immediately obvious as our new arrivals are kind of all over the place, starting with... well, I think I could say less about the song than the title does. Starboi3 is this SoundCloud rapper from New Jersey who made a song with Doja back in 2019 – I assume she was more accessible for features back then –and it didn’t blow up at all, really, giving Starboi3 some additional traction but not until 2020, in which Doja Cat got her #1 hit and TikTok picked up this explicit single as a new sound. Sadly – or thankfully – the song was never released officially onto streaming until very recently, meaning, surely, the hype’s over by now? The answer to that is no, as it’s climbing up charts in both the UK and the Bubbling Under in the US... so there’s got to be something good about this song, right? Well, no. Not at all. Of course, that is subjective, but I do question your sanity if you’re honestly enjoying this unlikeable nobody shout “Dick!” over a basic, no-melody trap instrumental with heavy 808s not too dissimilar to drill, before going into a beyond basic chorus and verse about, well, you can guess, with rhymes sounding either like an awful freestyle or a kid with a rhyming dictionary. “She not with him tonight, she not with Jim tonight”? Of course, that’s in the post-chorus because if there’s one thing this song needs, it’s a freaking post-chorus. I also don’t think Starboi3 realises that making her scream for her parents is quite the opposite of sexy – or even raunchy and mindless, as it’s actually just creepy and terrifying. Speaking of terrifying, Doja Cat is here and not even she can add a less basic flow with a verse that just ends up going in one ear and out the other, even if I do like the seductive backing vocals that at least try to make this not a slow, joyless slog. However, I do NOT like the Pickle Rick reference. To be fair, this was 2019, but also to be fair, never reference that again, I am begging you. This is a disaster on all fronts and probably one of the worst tracks I’ve had to review in this series. Good start!
#64 – “Freaks” – Surf Curse
Produced by Surf Curse
This new song is actually even older, being released initially as a deep cut from this Nevada duo’s 2013 album. As you’ll probably tell, this is charting off of people streaming after hearing the song on TikTok and, I mean, at least the song’s actually good this time, careening off of a clearly surf-inspired clean riff surrounded by some basic drumming and a good bassline. It’s not great as it does feel increasingly basic as I said, almost like one of those local bands that don’t get much national attention or traction but do play some gigs and get some love at those places, to the point where it’s kind of big if they play shows outside of their region... which makes sense because that is exactly what they are. This is just some band from Reno but here it is charting on the UK Singles Chart and while it’s here, I should say whilst there’s not much here to discuss given how minimal it is, Nick Rattigan’s vocals are fittingly desperate for the theme of social alienation and particularly rejection as it’s pretty obvious he’s aiming venom at himself for a bad break-up, although given the sound and tone of the song, probably his first, with that double meaning of the mantra in the outro, “I won’t wake up this time”, potentially being a crushing line for someone in similar circumstances. That’s not me, exactly, so this doesn’t hit, but I’m glad that Machine Gun Kelly song from last week got replaced with some actually decent alternative rock on the chart. I hope this does well.
#60 – “One Day” – Lovejoy
Produced by Cameron Nesbitt
“One Day” is the biggest track from new English rock band Lovejoy’s debut EP, Are You Alright?, and whilst I was planning on not mentioning the fact that the band is fronted by Minecraft YouTuber Wilbur Soot, that is the only reason it’s charting – and he’s charted with “Your New Boyfriend” a couple months back, a song that I actually kind of liked. It’s also immediately obvious in the writing that this comes from an Internet personality, with some not-so-well-woven detail and increasingly gratuitous self-awareness that eventually cycles back and ends up as seeming like they have none at all... okay, like most indie bands but that’s beside the point. This happens to be Wilbur’s least favourite song on the release – one that I haven’t listened to because even if I’m not too old for mindless pop music, Minecraft YouTuber alt-rock may be where I draw the line – and I can completely understand the distaste for this given that it starts with the line, “Why’d you have to kill my cat?” I also have some qualms with the song sonically as it may be the most derivative rock single I’ve heard on this series, given how obviously it rips from indie rock bands of the 2000s, with an oddly clean mix that doesn’t exactly fit the obvious stream-of-consciousness lyrics and Wilbur’s erratic delivery. Also, there’s a whole lot of trumpet on this song, which I guess is a surprise, but that doesn’t make up for a drummer who can clearly play very well but has to chaotically play over a song with practically no groove. I do like that second chorus in how it builds up to a somewhat anti-climactic guitar solo but as a full song I do not really get the appeal of this that I don’t get out of other post-punk revival bands from decades back who are still pumping out music. This isn’t bad – I swear, don’t dox me – but I just want something more compelling from this. I will always be glad regardless of the quality that we have more rock on the chart, though, even if this’ll be gone by next week.
#57 – “It’s a sin” – Years & Years and Elton John
Produced by Stuart Price and the Pet Shop Boys
One of my favourite performance from the BRIT Awards this year was Olly Alexander of Years & Years sharing the stage with the iconic Elton John to cover Pet Shop Boys’ “It’s a Sin” which had renewed interest from last year as it was the namesake for a hit TV series about HIV/AIDS, for which this fittingly played a role and has kind of been recontextualised as a gay anthem, which makes complete sense if you look at its lyrics about the Church telling Neil Tennant “how to be”. It’s also one of the Pet Shop Boys’ most camp and theatrical songs, so giving it to Years & Years and Elton John to cover for the BRIT Awards make all too much sense. No, they’re not able to live up to the theatricality of the original, especially if Alexander’s vocals are going to be this clearly manipulated at points, but with Elton John’s piano laying a perfect foundation for the rising intensity of the track, we do get a sense of that original melodrama, with the synth-work and house groove coming in before Elton John’s voice, sounding smokier and wiser with age, and in my opinion, more compelling as a vocalist, especially if they’re both going to sell this song with the most convicted of deliveries. I don’t think a cover could ever live up to that original iconic track but if anyone’s going to get close, it’s Elton John. Expect this to rise next week.
#50 – “Never Left” – Lil Tecca
Produced by ThankYouWill, Taz Taylor and Cxdy
I’ll always be annoyed that Lil Tecca blew up as a rapper instead of a producer, as I don’t think this guy has any likeability or charisma about his flow, cadence or delivery, and that’s only after you get over how dry and whiny his voice can get. However, he can make some great and incredibly infectious beats for other rappers, including a song I see becoming a hit soon in SoFaygo’s “Knock Knock”, which I will bet on at least making the Billboard Hot 100 if not the UK Singles Chart. It’s unbelievably catchy. With that said, Tecca is here in the form of some SoundCloud raps over a boring synth pluck and vaguely tropical Internet Money trap beat, sounding and flowing way too much like Gunna for his own benefit, or Gunna’s benefit, if we’re honest, as this shows how easily he can be replaced. I usually don’t write off this type of rap and will absolutely defend it, but this song isn’t even catchy or unique. I mean, I don’t like “Ransom” either but at least it was kind of fun and I still know the lines in the chorus a couple years later. I’ll forget all about this by next week if it doesn’t stick around. At least he shouts out Chief Keef. God, I hope he charts sometime, that’d be funny.
#45 – “All I Know So Far” – P!nk
Produced by Greg Kurstin
So, P!nk is back but not with a studio album, rather an upcoming live album in which the two new, original songs are about or featuring her daughter. This is the second single from said album and is probably coasting off her appearance at the BRITs in terms of a relatively high chart debut. I’ve never been that big a fan of P!nk but she has her classics, none of which are in the past 15 years but that’s beside the point. This single in particular is an acoustic ballad dedicated to her daughter in which P!nk provides a rapid intensity alongside pretty great-sounding acoustic guitars, pounding drums and strings that sells the content about empowering yourself, with some nice lyrical detail about always being yourself, basically, which would come off as cliché and preachy if it weren’t for some oddly specific lyrics in those verses and the chorus that basically just tell her daughter that despite the fact the world will constantly try to crack down on her and everything she does much like life does to anyone but especially women, she should stand up for herself and what she believes in. However, none of that cuts deep when she’s being raised by a millionaire, huh? There’s little Hell to be put through when you’re born with a silver spoon, huh, Willow? Regardless, this isn’t a bad pop song and its content isn’t as misguided as it is just sang by the wrong singer, although I’d find it hard to get a singer with as much rasp and wisdom in the mainstream to sell this as convincingly as P!nk does – vocally, not lyrically. This is a couple steps above that last single, “Cover Me in Sunshine” at least, which was just insidious. Next.
#32 – “Miss the Rage” – Trippie Redd featuring Playboi Carti
Produced by Loesoe
Okay, so all of our last three new arrivals are in the top 40 and we start with... o-okay, well, it’s 2021, anything can and will chart and I should know this by now, but it’s still surprising to see a song by these two guys debut so high, especially since Whole Lotta Red produced absolutely no charting hits in the UK outside of “@ MEH”, which doesn’t really count. This is Trippie’s highest-charting song ever in the UK that isn’t fronted by KSI, so I guess streaming must have been that good – also, the charts are still weak. For what it’s worth, I do like both Trippie and Carti to their respective extents, and I am aware that this is only as big as it was because of the hype from the leak, which also featured Mario Judah, and that in itself was a big song but it took years for Carti’s feature to be cleared by the label, as is infamously true for much of Carti’s work and even his last official collaboration with Trippie that was actually deleted after release. I’m still hoping on an official release for his verse on Yung Lean’s “Yayo”, but whilst we have this instead, I might as well talk about it and... Well, let me explain to you what I see as the appeal of these two rappers. That appeal is, mostly, that they don’t rap even though they both very much can. Trippie yells, moans, growls, screams and spends most of his work singing in his typical raspy, venomous voice, whilst Playboi Cart spits and coughs his way through substance-less ad-libs to the point where any actual wordplay or lyrical detail gets you excited for that brief moment. In this song, Trippie and Carti don’t eschew the typical role of a rapper and both just... rap normally, which would not be a complaint if they weren’t so bland in that role, which is the whole point of their unique, phlegm-filled deliveries in the first place. As a result, this song just ends up feeling empty, even if this awfully-mixed, bass-boosted beat with some lovely distorted video-game synths and hardly audible trap skitters does go incredibly hard. Don’t get me wrong: this is still catchy and Trippie flows very well over a beat that sounds made for him and Carti. Hell, Carti has grown on me so much recently that my fondness for this might just be me eating anything he releases up. With that said, he’s the worst part of the song as his baby-voice style emphasises how lacking this song is in just anything. I do like the wordplay at the tail-end of the verse as, yes, that happens, perhaps not as iconic as some of his other oddly profound or clever lines on his last record but at least it’s something. At least this is some interesting American trap, unlike...
#25 – “i n t e r l u d e” – J. Cole
Produced by J. Cole, Tommy Parker and T-Minus
The pandemic has affected the music industry to the point where big-name rappers release album interludes as lead singles. Said album has songs shorter than this interlude, with most of its dull filler feeling like additional interludes, quite unbefitting for such a big and hyped-up album from Cole which frankly is just another boring addition to an already consistently dull catalogue. I’m just not interested in what Cole has to say because he’s never been likeable and I feel like there’s better rappers that bridge the gap between old and new like how Cole sees himself as doing, the “MIDDLE CHILD”, perhaps, like, you know, Drake? If we want to go for a more direct comparison from lesser-known rappers, the direct comparison I use for this new record is Aminé’s latest, also made up of a variation of trap bangers featuring massive, charting names versus introspective, conscious lyrics, yet Aminé is an interesting character with quotable lyrics that aren’t embarrassing, knows how to write an actual hook and whilst he also brings on both classic and modern features, he’s never out-done by them, creating an actual bridge rather than just some guy who thinks he can write his own role in the industry and culture without his own music backing his case. Unfortunately for me, it works – every freaking time – largely because of his continually loyal fanbase but also a general public interest in the guy that I do not understand, especially when more than a decade into his career, he’s still pushing out mediocre projects. He cuts his album’s length by a ton and still ends up with a bloated record. I barely need to talk about the track itself, right? Even if it has as much structure and effort put into it as his normal songs do, it’s labelled quite literally as an interlude. Sigh, well, in this interlude, Jermaine raps over a drowned-out soul sample and admittedly, sticks to the topic of reminiscing on where he came from, the violence in Fayetteville, a similar violence of which was what killed Nipsey Hussle, who he compares amongst Pimp C and Jesus as they all died at 33. Cole himself is 36 so I guess for once he doesn’t think he’s Jesus. It took him a while to realise.
#12 – “Higher Power” – Coldplay
Produced by Max Martin, Oscar Holter and Bill Rahko
I assumed this would debut at #3 until the BRIT Awards performance gave it a boost to debut at the top but I guess everyone else had the same opinion of that awful opening performance as I did, because here it is at #12. Well, that doesn’t matter, right? Coldplay’s last album similarly underperformed... but at least that time, they had a genuinely ambitious album for once in their careers with some genuine experimentation and themes I did not expect to come out of Coldplay. It was a better album but not an accessible one, with its only pop single being a bittersweet anti-war anthem which trivialises bombing in the Middle East to onomatopoeia. It’s a great song but it wasn’t going anywhere, so it’s no surprise that their next lead single is a soulless synth-pop track produced by Max Martin. Admittedly, the synth tone in the intro is kind of unique in all its nasal 80s nostalgia, but, man, I thought we moved past just rehashing for a hit, Coldplay. This is pretty obviously just a crap attempt at being “Blinding Lights” which trades in its machine-gun loco-motive drum pattern for one that is a lot more stiff, and its iconic, memorable lyrics for a forgettable set of love-struck laziness. Oh, yeah, and Chris Martin is far from the Weeknd both in the studio and live at the BRIT Awards – seriously, dude sounded half-alive. This isn’t offensive, just a bore that is clearly a desperate label move ready for when they can tour again, and if their last record proved anything it was that Coldplay seemed like they were finally above that.
Conclusion
Well, that’s our week – again, a questionable one at best and kind of a bad one at worst. Either way, this is a strange array of songs and I do like how the UK Singles Chart subverts everything you’d expect of it so often that chaos becomes the trend, even if not all of it is any good. I guess Best of the Week goes to “Freaks” by Surf Curse, with an Honourable Mention to Elton John’s cover of “It’s a sin” with Years & Years. Surprisingly enough, J. Cole actually doesn’t get Worst of the Week as the album gets a lot worse than that interlude, so he gets a Dishonourable Mention alongside Starboi3’s “Dick” being crowned Worst of the Week, and honestly probably Worst of the Year so far, not that I’m keeping track of that. Here’s this week’s top 10:
What’s coming next week? More J. Cole, Olivia Rodrigo’s newest single and probably – and hopefully – some album tracks from Jorja Smith and Nicki Minaj. For now, though, thanks for reading. It’s a big week next week, and I’ll see you then!
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Cruel Prince/Wicked King playlist
Jude-
-Be Okay - Ingrid Michaelson
-Do it for her- Pearl from steven Universe ok
-Everytime- Britney Spears
-Castle- Halsey
-Bad Guy- Billie Eilish (lol when she kidnaps cardan)
-She’s always a woman- Billy Joel
-Hot ’n’ cold - Katy Perry
-I won’t say I’m in love- Hercules
-7 things -miley cyrus
-White Horse- Taylor Swift
-Hide and Seek - imogen heap
-Hey Jude- The Beatles
Cardan-
-If I had you - adam lambert
-Don’t trust me -3OH!3
-Starstrukk- 30H!3
-I’m not okay- MCR
-Girlfriend- avril lavigne (yes @Jude while she was dating Locke lol why am I like this)
-Fantasy- Sho Lo
-Magic- Sho Lo
-Over the Limit- Sho Lo
-Seventeen- from Heathers the musical
-Incomplete- backstreet boys
-Just the Girl- The Click Five
-I hate everything about you- 3 days grace
-With or Without you- U2
-So What- P!nk
-(My life would suck without you- Kelly Clarkson- hopefully *quiet sob*)
Both Jude and Cardan- Bad Blood
Locke/Valerian/Nicasia-
-Candy Store from Heathers the musical
Madoc-
-Butterfly kisses - bob dylan
-I loved her first- Heartland
-There goes my life- kenny chesney
Vivi-
-T.A.T.U.- They’re not gonna get us
-I wish- Hayley Kiyoko
-Because of you - Kelly Clarkson
-Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson
Locke-
-Happy Together- Filter
Taryn-
-Control- Halsey
-Enchanted- Taylor Swift
Nicasia-
-Jealous- Nick Jonas
-Fluerie- Hurts like Hell
-Monster- Beth Crowley
Valerian-
-So What- Three Day’s Grace
#edgy af playlist lol#bless my lil emo heart#jude duarte#cardan greenbriar#nicasia#taryn duarte#locke#madoc#vivi#folk of the air#the cruel prince#the wicked king#the queen of nothing#holly black#unofficial playlist#playlist
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could u share ur favourite playlist?
yes i can!
my favourite playlist changes every now and then so checking my spotify is the best way to know what i'm listening to at the moment. but i'll still share with you the one i'm binge listening to these days.
the name is spaghetti for breakfast and the theme is "songs i'd like to listen to at a pretty chill yet hyped up party with ten friends in a dirty apartment"
arctic monkeys - fluorescent adolescent
bears in trees - fresh concrete
billy joel - zanzibar
billy joel - we didn't start the fire
bloc party - ratchet
blur - girls & boys
caesars - jerk it out
camélia jordana - moi c'est
cameo - word up
circa waves - t-shirt weather
coin - crash my car
coin - growing pains
dayglow - can i call you tonight
dayglow - hot rod
declan mckenna - brazil
duran duran - girls on film
duran duran - rio
electric light orchestra - mr. blue sky
elton john - border song
the federal empire - bad habits
franz ferdinand - no you girls
franz ferdinand - take me out
graham nash - chicago
idkhow - leave me alone
idkhow - new invention
jungle - busy earnin'
jungle - keep moving
the killers - somebody told me
la lupe - fever
maneskin - la paura del buio
maneskin - lasciami stare
mark ronson - nothing breaks like a heart
mika - we are golden
miley cyrus - heart of glass
minnie riperton - les fleurs
mister v - gang
nik kershaw - the riddle
phil collins - something happened on the way to heaven
saint motel - a good song never dies
shaun - bad habits
talking heads - psycho killer
those who dream - monster
tommy tutone - 867-5309
tony bennett - rags to riches
upsahl - drugs
young the giant - cough syrup
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Songs I’d Like to Have a Professional Recording of Aaron Singing:
Please bear in mind that this list is in no way complete. He has sang some of these songs, but again, professional recording. Please feel free to add to the list!
Disney
Out There
Go the Distance
You’ll Be In My Heart
Two Worlds
Kiss the Girl
Baby Mine
When You Wish Upon a Star
Cruella De Vil
One Jump Ahead
Reindeers Are Better Than People
You’ve Got a Friend In Me- Duet/Norbert
Why Should I Worry
I Wanna Be Like You
Jack’s Lament
Proud of Your Boy
Her Voice
Santa Fe
Strangers Like Me
Can You Feel the Love Tonight- Duet/Rachel Tucker
I See the Light- Duet/Laura Osnes
If I Never Knew You- Duet/Sam Barks
You’ll Be In My Heart
A Whole New World
Evermore
Christmas
O Holy Night
Hark! The Herald Angel Sing
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
The First Noel
Little Drummer Boy
We Three Kings
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Let It Snow
Jingle Bells
What Child is This
Rockin Around the Christmas Tree
Jingle Bell Rock
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Mary Did You Know
I’ll Be Home For Christmas
You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch
O Come All Ye Faithful
Silent Night
Joy to the World
Santa Clause Is Comin’ To Town
All I Want For Christmas Is You
Blue Christmas
White Christmas
Showtunes
Another Day- Duet/Sam Barks- Rent
What You Own- Duet/Skylar Astin- Rent
As Long As You’re Mine- Duet/Laura Osnes- Wicked
Dancing Through Life- Wicked
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables- Les Miserables
This Is the Moment- Jekyll & Hyde
Confrontation- Jekyll & Hyde
Raise a Little Hell- Bonnie & Clyde
Oh What a Beautiful Mornin’- Oklahoma
Bring Him Home- Les Miserables
It Takes Two- Hairspray
The Ballad of Booth- Assassins
Tonight- Duet/Laura Osnes- West Side Story
Confrontation- Duet/Jeremy Jordan?- Les Miserables
Stars- Les Miserables
The Music of the Night- Phantom
All That Jazz- Chicago
All I Ask of You- Duet/Laura Osnes - Phantom
Epiphany- Sweeney Todd
Johanna- Sweeney Todd
Razzle Dazzle- Chicago
Til I Hear You Sing- Love Never Dies
You’ll Never Walk Alone- Carousel
Old Deuteronomy- Duet/Jeremy Jordan- Cats
Moving Too Fast- The Last 5 Years
Come What May- Duet/Laura Osnes- Moulin Rouge
Your Song- Moulin Rouge
Agony- Duet/Jeremy Jordan? Darren Criss? Jonathan Groff? Kyle Dean Massey? Derek Klena?- Into the Woods
Giants in the Sky- Into the Woods
Whatever Happened To Saturday Night- Rocky Horror
Singing In the Rain- Singing In the Rain
Don’t Rain on My Parade- Funny Girl
Wig In a Box- Hedwig & the Angry Inch
Sugar Daddy- Hedwig & the Angry Inch
Neverland- Finding Neverland
Make Them Hear You- Ragtime
What You Mean to Me- Duet/Laura Michelle Kelly- Finding Neverland (or Laura Osnes I’m not picky)
Hard to Be the Bard- Something Rotten
Left Behind- Spring Awakening
All That’s Known- Spring Awakening
High Enough- Duet/Laura Osnes- Rock of Ages
My Petersburg- Anastasia
In a Crowd of Thousands- Duet/Laura Osnes- Anastasia
Dust & Ashes- Great Comet of 1812
Soliloquy- Carousel
Come Back- Dogfight
You’ll Be Back- Hamilton
Wait For It- Hamilton
Why God Why- Miss Saigon
Random Songs
Smooth Criminal- Michael Jackson
Take Me To Church- Hozier
We Are The Champions- Queen
Old Time Rock N Roll- Bob Segar
Never Say Never- The Fray
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger- Kelly Clarkson
Burning Love- Elvis Presley
Jailhouse Rock- Elvis Presley
Hound Dog- Elvis Presley
Heartbreak Hotel- Elvis Presley
Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’- Journey
I’ll Be Seeing You- Frank Sinatra
Let It Be- The Beatles
New York State of Mind- Billy Joel
Desperado- The Eagles
That Ol’ Wind- Garth Brooks
That’s Life- Frank Sinatra
The Dance- Garth Brooks
Blackbird- The Beatles
Mamma Mia- ABBA
Hard Day’s Night- The Beatles
Yesterday- The Beatles
Every Rose Has Its Thorn- Poison
Heaven- Warrant
Since You’ve Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
Hallelujah- Leonard Cohen
Lexington & 52nd Street- Smash
Caught In the Storm- Smash
Broadway Here I Come- Smash
Heart Shaped Wreckage- Duet/Laura Osnes
Bye Bye Bye- Jeremy Jordan, Darren Criss, Jonathan Groff, & Corey Cott- Nsync
Somebody to Love- Queen
Who Wants to Live Forever- Quartet- Laura Osnes, Megan Hilty/Sam Barks, Jeremy Jordan- Queen
Hammer to Fall- Queen
Crazy Little Thing Called Love- Queen
Titanium- David Guetta
Wrecking Ball- Miley Cyrus
Blank Space- Taylor Swift
I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing- Aerosmith
Fly Me to the Moon- Frank Sinatra
Let’s Hear It For the Boy
Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri
Uninvited- Alanis Morisette
Hit Me With Your Best Shot- Pat Benatar
Go Your Own Way- Fleetwood Mac
Landslide- Fleetwood Mac
Rollin’ In the Deep- Adele
The Piano Man- Billy Joel
Caught Up In You- 38 Special
Summer of ’69- Bryan Adams
One Last Prayer- Kerrigan & Lowdermilk
Faithfully- Journey
Hello- Adele
Creep- Radiohead
Shake It Off- Taylor Swift
Wake Me Up- Aviici
Somebody That I Used to Know
Uptown Funk- Bruno Mars
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Tag game
Tagged by @insane-sociopath. Thank you friendo!
Rules: Tag up to 10 Tumblrs you want to get to know better.
NAME: Natassa (I go by Nat on here because I’m sure you all pronounced my full name wrong even in your heads)
GENDER: Cis female
SIGN: Virgo
HEIGHT: 5’2 I think. I’m a small one
MIDDLE NAME: Anastasia (okay my name is actually Anastasia Natassa but shhh)
Find the rest under the cut
PUT YOUR ITUNES ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 6 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?:
Nobody Needs To Know - The Last Five Years cast
Moon - Sleeping At Last
Godspeed - Frank Ocean
Someone Else - Miley Cyrus
This Night - Billy Joel
Pervigilo - First Aid Kit
GRAB THE 📓 NEAREST TO YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17?:
“Why not?” Havamal asked softly, sliding down the bench toward us. (The Seafarer’s Kiss aka my current read)
EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?:
Don’t think so
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR 🎸?:
I can’t even remember
WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?:
I don’t have any specific one that I’m obsessed with, but I do love Alicia Vikander and Sofia Boutella
WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE? LOVE?:
Hate: Cutlery scraping on plates
Love: High heels on stone floors
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? HOW ABOUT ALIENS?:
I believe in both, but I don’t think ghosts are the way they’re usually portrayed in movies and stuff
DO YOU DRIVE? IF SO HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED?:
Nah man
WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?:
The last book I finished was The Beginning of the World in the Middle of the Night by Jen Campbell. SO GOOD
DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF PETROL?:
Yessss
WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW?:
Thor Ragnarok I think
WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD?:
I crashed into a thing when I was 8 and split my chin open and got a mild concussion but at least I didn’t have to get stitches
DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?
The Raven Cycle and my need to reread it asap
DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST ANYONE WHOSE DONE YOU WRONG?:
It depends on what they did tbh, but yes I definitely do even if I don’t realize it
IN A RELATIONSHIP?:
Nope
Tagging (you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!):
@bacomnom @gettinhellaturnt @queenofslash @hero-ofcanton @theclassicsreader @tonystarkdefencesquad @lacey--lou @the-mad-prince-of-denmark @cornerstoretylenol
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Talking with Kevin Kerslake
One of the great music video directors of all-time is easily Kevin Kerslake. He got into music videos in the late 1980s making videos for Sonic Youth, Iggy Pop, and Soundgarden. By the early 90s he was in the right place at the right time as he made several noteworthy alt-rock videos, notably Hole, Smashing Pumpkins, Faith No More, R.E.M., Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dinosaur Jr., Depeche Mode, Stone Temple Pilots, Green Day, Liz Phair and The Breeders. But it’s the music videos he did for Nirvana that caught my attention, as well as his 1994 video release Nirvana: Live! Tonight! Sold Out! In addition to music videos, he has directed TV commercials, sports videos, and TV and film documentaries. His phenomenal new documentary Bad Reputation profiles Joan Jett and it is being released by Magnolia Pictures this Friday. I recently caught up with Mr. Kerslake via email.
Bad Reputation movie poster
You had directed Joan Jett's 2013 music video for "Any Weather". Was that collaboration the nucleus of this documentary about her?
Yes, indeed. Joan and I first met when she tapped me to direct the “Any Weather” video a few years back. That was a great experience all the way around, so when everyone in the Blackheart universe decided to do a film, I was fortunate to be considered. They wanted to put the team who did the DJ AM doc [the 2015 documentary As I AM: The Life and Times of DJ AM] back together, so my editor, Joel Marcus, and I dove right in.
A young Joan Jett
In 2011, I saw Foo Fighters at Madison Square Garden and they brought out Joan Jett as a special guest and did "Bad Reputation". She later appeared on the Foo Fighters' series Sonic Highways and Dave Grohl later worked on her album Unvarnished. With her connection to The Germs (featuring Pat Smear, who went onto be in Nirvana and Foo Fighters) and Nirvana (featuring Dave Grohl who went onto Foo Fighters) and your own personal history of directing for Nirvana, were the Foo Fighters on your wish list for interviews for this doc?
Knowing that we had really strong soundbites from the two Hall of Fame ceremonies, we didn’t really see the need to pursue doing interviews with any of the Foo Fighters. A talking head interview would have paled in comparison to what we already had, which felt so spontaneous.
That leads to the next question: There are some fantastic interview subjects in this, including some rockers you have directed previously such as Iggy Pop and Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong as well as Debbie Harry, Miley Cyrus, Michael J. Fox, Kathleen Hanna, Pete Townshend and more. Was there anyone you wanted and couldn't get for whatever reason?
I can’t think of anyone we asked who didn’t end up doing an interview, which is a testament to the lasting impact Joan has had on so many people. Everybody jumped at the chance to share their Joan stories and speak to her place in the world.
Jett and Kerslake at the Bad Reputation premiere at the 2018 Sundance Film Festival
The central relationship in the documentary is Joan Jett's longtime collaboration with Kenny Laguna. I was a little surprised that you didn't address The Blackhearts and their changing lineup over the years. Was that due to timing? Access to interview subjects?
We took on the Blackhearts lineup changes from time to time in the edit, but it always felt like we were steering a bit off course, which also happened when we tracked Joan and Kenny’s tumultuous relationships with the major labels. It’s not to say the lineup changes were unimportant, rather that you can only take in so many details (and so many peaks and valleys) before you start to lose the big picture. But that would be a great chapter in the bonus features!
Joan Jett and The Blackhearts in the 1982 music video for “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll”, one of my favorite songs of that year!
Looking at your filmography and music videography, you have directed a who's who of musical giants. I have watched your Nirvana doc Live! Tonight! Sold Out! and the music videos you did for them, hundreds of times easily. Is there any musician on your dream list you'd love to direct?
Firstly, thank you for watching that work throughout the years! I have been soooo fortunate to have worked with so many great talents, and I just feel incredibly lucky. I had a couple near misses that I would like back (and people who left this planet far too early), but I just put my faith in the universe that our paths will cross in time. And it doesn’t matter where I am or what day it is, but Brian Eno always blows my fucking mind.
What's next for you?
I’m working on a Jane’s Addiction doc that will turn you inside out, along with an epic doc series about the explosive New York music scene in the mid-70’s. How dem apples?
Interview courtesy of Magnolia Pictures
#kevin kerslake#bad reputation#Joan Jett#joan jett and the blackhearts#documentary#music documentaries#music videos#Foo Fighters#the germs#nirvana#kenny laguna#Nivana Live! Tonight! Sold Out!#jane's addiction#interview#film geek#music nerd
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Caroline & Nate's Swingin' Coronado Community Center Wedding
Caroline & Nate's Swingin' Coronado Community Center Wedding
Of all the San Diego wedding DJs calling America’s finest city home, Caroline & Nate chose me to DJ and MC their swingin’ Coronado Community Center wedding (Nautilus Room & Patio) on Super Bowl Sunday, February 3, 2019.
THE CORONADO COMMUNITY CENTER WEDDING CEREMONY
Prelude ➔ Piano, Vitamin String Quartet
Processional ➔ Latch by Simply Three
Bride Processional ➔ “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” by Haley Reinhart
Recessional ➔ Brighter Than The Sun by Colbie Caillat (cue to 30 seconds/first chorus)
THE COCKTAIL HOUR & DINNER MUSIC
While San Diego DJ Staci offers couples pre-set cocktail & dinner playlists to choose from, Caroline & Nate opted to hand-select their background music for their Coronado Community Center wedding.
Cocktail Music ➔ Forever – Chris Brown, Everything – Michael Buble, Benny And The Jets – Elton John, L-O-V-E – Nat King Cole, Feel It Still – Portugal, The Man, I Do – Colbie Caillat, Africa – Toto, Sweet Home Chicago –Blues Brothers, Ob La Di – The Beatles, Hurts So Good – John Mellencamp, Wouldn’t It Be Nice – The Beach Boys, The Way You Make Me Feel – Michael Jackson, Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations, Sweet Child O’Mine – Guns N Roses, We Are Young – Fun, You Can’t Hurry Love – Phil Collins, Run-Around – Blues Travelers, Saturday In The Park – Chicago, Let’s Stay Together – Al Green
Dinner Music ➔ The Way I Am – Ingrid Michaelson, Cheek to Cheek – Fred Astaire, Feeling Good – Michael Buble, It Had To be You – Harry Connick Jr, The Way You Look Tonight – Frank Sinatra, Shh Boom – The Crew Cuts, Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion, Singin’ In The Rain – Gene Kelly, When I Fall In Love – Nat King Cole, Tiny Dancer – Elton John, Sea Of Love – Cat Power, That’s Amore – Dean Martin, The Luckiest – Ben Folds, Somewhere Beyond The Sea – Bobby Darin, Fade Into You – Scarlett O’Connor & Gunnar Scott, Roses And Violets – Alexander Jean, Unforgettable – Nat King Cole, Fly Me To The Moon / Lucky – Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat, In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel, Iris – Goo Goo Dolls, Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You – Frankie Valli, My Kind of Town (Chicago Is) – Frank Sinatra
CORONADO COMMUNITY CENTER WEDDING RECEPTION
My Welcome ➔ “Good evening! Welcome to Caroline & Nathaniel’s wedding reception!!! I am the Master of Ceremonies, DJ Staci. Please take your seats so we can begin tonight’s festivities. Be sure to post your photos today with #CelebrateWithCareAndNate and #GarciaSoon. If you need to charge your devices, I do have a mini charging station up here including some universal chargers. Nate’s Uncle Steve, who was also one of today’s ceremony officiants, will now say grace before dinner. Then the wedding coordinator, Tatiana, will dismiss tables to eat.”
➔ Dinner Blessing: Uncle Steve
➔ Meal Served: Buffet/Food Stations/Etc ➔ Dismiss tables: Day-Of Coordinator
➔ Grand Entrance ➔ Sing Sing Sing by Benny Goodman (cue to 18 seconds) ➔ “I hope you are enjoying your meals. Just a reminder to post your photos today with #CelebrateWithCareAndNate and #GarciaSoon. And, again, if you need to charge your devices, I do have a mini charging station up here including some universal chargers. But, right now, may I have your attention for the OFFICIAL welcome of our guests of honor!!! Get on your feet to welcome–for the FIRST TIME EVER–Mr. and Mrs. Garcia!!!”
➔ First Dance ➔ “Garcia First Dance Medley” ➔ fade early: No ➔ “Let’s welcome Mr. and Mrs. Garcia to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife.” (wait for a thumbs up from them)
➔ Newlywed Brief Welcome/Thank You Speech ➔ yes
6:15 PM +/- (after B&G eat) ➔ Toasts ➔ whatever the guests are already drinking ➔ “It’s time for the toasts now. Please welcome our first speaker:
➔ Best Man David H
➔ Maid of Honor Jannell L
➔ Formal Cake Cutting ➔ Cake by the Ocean by DNCE (clean version)
➔ Uncle-Niece Dance ➔ Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole ➔ fade early: yes ➔ “Now let’s welcome Caroline & her uncle, Michael, to the dance floor.”
➔ Mother-Son Dance ➔ I Hope You Dance by LeeAnn Womack ➔ fade early: yes ➔ “Please welcome Nathaniel & his mother, Pam, to the dance floor to share a special dance.”
➔ Group Photo on Dance Floor (with football toss once everyone is gathered, winner gets special prize) ➔ Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis ➔ “In lieu of a garter or bouquet toss & since it is super bowl Sunday, Nate & Caroline are going to be tossing a football instead!”
➔ Open Dancing
7:00 PM ➔ Photographer/videographer leave
9:57 PM ➔ Last Dance ➔ Sweet Caroline
CAROLINE & NATE’S DANCE MUSIC RECIPE
Dance Music Rating ➔ PG-13 (like radio edits of songs)
Priority During Dancing ➔ maximum dancing/use my expertise to read the crowd
*Music/Dancing Notes ➔ no drunk uncle karaoke
Genres ➔ Top 40/Pop, 80s Pop/Rock/New Wave, 90s R&B/Boy Bands/Pop, Oldies, 70s/Classic Rock, Motown/Funk, Electronic Dance Music, 2000s
♥ M U S T – P L A Y S ♥
1. I Got A Feeling – Black Eyed Peas, 2. Bailando (Spanish Version) [feat. Descemer Bueno & Gente de Zona], 3. Shape Of You – Ed Sheeran, 4. Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond (when B&G present), 5. In The Mood – Glenn Miller, 6. Shut Up and Dance – Walk The Moon, 7. All Of Me – John Legend, 8. Living On A Prayer – Bon Jovi, 9. Perfect – Ed Sheeran, 10. Then – Brad Paisley (when B&G present), 11. Sway – Michael Buble, 12. Havana – Camila Cabello, 13. Jump, Jive, And Wail – Brian Setzer Orchestra, 14. Crazy Little Thing Called Love – Queen, 15. Shout! – The Isley Brothers, 16. This I Promise You – N’Sync, 17. Cupid Shuffle, 18. Cha Cha Slide, 19. Pianoman – Billy Joel
♥ P L A Y – I F – Y O U – C A N ♥
20. Open Arms – Journey, 21. Spice Up Your Life – The Spice Girls, 22. Uptown Funk, 23. Party In The USA – Miley Cyrus, 24. I Want You To Know – Zedd feat. Selena Gomez, 25. Good Life – Kanye West, 26. Toxic – Britney Spears, 27. You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC, 28. This Is What You Came For – Calvin Harris feat Rihanna
♥ D O – N O T – P L A Y S ♥
Anything too raunchy/dirty, Hot In Here – Nelly, Sean Paul, Shots – LMFAO, Baby Got Back – Sir Mixalot, Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice, Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Rae Cyrus, Get Low – Lil Jon and Eastside Boys, My Humps – Black Eyed Peas
CORONADO COMMUNITY CENTER WEDDING FLOOR PLAN
SAN DIEGO WEDDING VENDOR LIST
Here is the amazing team of San Diego wedding vendors I had the pleasure of working with on this Coronado Community Center wedding:
Venue ➔ Coronado Community Center
Catering/Day-Of Coordination ➔ Bekker’s Catering (one of my faves!)
Photography (photo credit – featured image) ➔ Abigail Gagne Photography
Videography ➔ Kaylee Duke Films
Flowers ➔ Flowers By Kendra
Desserts ➔ Incredible Cheesecake Company and Cafe Zucchero
Again, I was honored to be the one and only San Diego wedding DJ Caroline & Nate trusted with their Coronado Community Center wedding. Thank you!
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GIVE IT TO ME BABY
#coronado community center wedding#female san diego wedding dj#sunday weddings#Mission Bay Weddings#Real San Diego Weddings#San Diego February Weddings#San Diego Waterfront Weddings#San Diego Weddings#San Diego Winter Weddings
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 12/12/2020
For the first time ever after being released in 1994, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” has hit #1 on the UK Singles Chart, like it did on the US Billboard Hot 100 last year and will probably do so this year. This is a really short week full of nothing so that might be the biggest story here, and the song deserves it. It’s a great song and it’s genuinely massive. I wonder how newer songs like Kelly Clarkson’s “Underneath the Tree” will be able to enter themselves into the Christmas canon after Mariah Carey proved that it can be done with modern pop. Well, that’s not for us to find out today, because this is REVIEWING THE CHARTS.
Rundown
Like I said in the introduction, this is far from a busy week, which almost surprises me. Sure, nothing important was released – except that Shawn Mendes album which flopped remarkably and debuted at #12 on the Albums Chart this week – but I did expect another festive flood of holiday tunes. To my surprise, this didn’t happen or at least not to the extent that I assumed it would. Sure, we still have a lot of Christmas songs replacing newer pop songs that had already been in the charts, ‘tis the season, but this week only had five notable drop-outs from the UK Top 75, and none of those are that notable. I guess “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy, one of the biggest hip-hop hits of the year, dropping out is a pretty big deal, but otherwise we just have “Diamonds” by Sam Smith, “UFO” by D-Block Europe and Aitch, “Come Over” by Jorja Smith and Popcaan, and I guess “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” by Digga D. All of these songs are recent and might have a rebound after the Christmas season is over, but I do have my concerns about the longevity of these songs, particularly because of how, you know, none of them are actually good. I guess now we could discuss some of our biggest fallers, which are of some quantity considering the season, so I’ll run these off quickly: “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #15, “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #18, “Levitating” by Dua Lipa at #20, “you broke me first” by Tate McRae at #21 (these last four songs were all in the top 10 last week, by the way), “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus featuring Dua Lipa at #22, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #31, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber continuing to free-fall to #33, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur at #35, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #37, “Mood” by 24kGoldn and iann dior at #38, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #40, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring NAV and Don Toliver at #45, “Dynamite” by BTS at #46, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #52, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #54, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #56, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #57, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee at #61, “All You’re Dreaming Of” by Liam Gallagher off the debut at #62 (our biggest fall this week), same goes for “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix at #71 and some long-lasting hits right at the tail end of the chart: “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey at #72, “WAP” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion at #73, and “Looking for Me” by Diplo, Paul Woodford and Kareen Lomax at #74. We do have a lot of Christmas gains and returning entries, so before we get to anything non-Christmas, let’s round off those real quick. Returning to the chart are “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia at #69, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra at #66 and “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby at #63. There are a lot more of our notable gains though: “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #65, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #58, “Love is a Compass” by Griff at #53, “Feliz Navidad” by José Feliciano at #51, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #49 (the biggest gain and deservedly so), “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #44, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Dean Martin at #43, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #41, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #36, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #32, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #30, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #29, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams at #28, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #26, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #25, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #17, “This Christmas” by Jess Glynne at #13, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande at #11, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #10, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #8, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #7 and finally, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #6. That’s not all of our gains and returning entries though, as we do have some peculiar events outside of the Christmas singles. First of all, “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd is up to #39 thanks to a remix with ROSALIA, and secondly, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI returns to the chart at #23. I have no idea why or how this happened but I want it gone as quickly as possible. Anyway, we have three new arrivals to talk about, none of which are particularly interesting, so let’s get on with those.
NEW ARRIVALS
#75 – “Real Stuff” – Juice WRLD and benny blanco
Produced by Dylan Brady, Jack Karaszewski, Henry Kwapis, Cashmere Cat and benny blanco
The song’s not called “Real Stuff”, but come on, this is a family show. About a year ago, Jarad Higgins, or Juice WRLD, died tragically at age 21 of a substance abuse-related seizure. Naturally, since it’s Juice and his label we’re talking about, they’re still pumping out unreleased content. Two songs of this nature were released around this time, one with Kid LAROI and Kim Petras we’ll probably see next week and even higher on the chart, but first of all, an emo rap anthem produced by benny blanco and Dylan Brady of 100 gecs. I mean, okay, sure, it is 2020 after all. Blanco posted on social media about how this was his first ever recorded song with Juice when they had a studio session before Juice was that recognised, and before he was signed, they cooked up a lot of music. This makes it surprising how it didn’t leak after all this time but it shouldn’t matter. What’s important is the quality of the song and since this is a genuine song from a real-life studio session, it’s not nearly as insincere and cynical as some of the other posthumous projects from Juice. Sadly, I don’t this makes it any good. The clicking, stuttering trap beat doesn’t sound bad with his bumping 808s but doesn’t complement the acoustic guitar strumming or even Juice as much as it should – and this is really early Juice, so it’s not like he’s mastered his style of emo-reminiscent self-loathing and painful, drug-induced relationship ramblings. It’s not even as catchy as Juice would start to be later on, so it is just a primitive version of whatever Juice’s sound would end up being. Sadly, we won’t get more development from the guy other than these cheap releases, and if benny blanco guided Juice more into a lane he’s comfortable with and more importantly, Juice was still alive, this could be an example of something great yet to flourish but since his incomplete discography of disposable output is all we have to evaluate, it makes Juice’s work much more difficult to appreciate, especially posthumously, where every throwaway bar about substance abuse has this haunting, unnerving impact it didn’t have before. Oh, and I really like the first verse, which is just aimless flexing but with more charm than he usually has, and with some promises of extra detail he could have gone into, before of course, it switches onto a different topic, an issue plaguing much of the man’s work. In conclusion, the song is fine but I don’t think I can listen to Juice’s work, complete or incomplete, released when he was alive or scrambled posthumously, without feeling sad or just having this contempt for the yes-men who surrounded him. Rest in peace, Juice.
#67 – “Oh Santa!” – Mariah Carey
Remixed by Ariana Grande and Jennifer Hudson
Produced by Scott M. Riesett, Marc Shaiman and Daniel Moore II
“Oh Santa!” is an original Christmas tune Mariah Carey wrote and released with Jermaine Dupri in 2010, for her second Christmas album, aptly titled Merry Christmas II You. The song wasn’t a success, and it couldn’t live up to “All I Want for Christmas is You”, which is fine. We don’t need more Mariah Carey songs in the Christmas canon if we already have an absolutely perfect one at the top of the charts, but if she wants to start flooding the market, I guess it’s best to do it with two experts at vocals, because for her little Apple TV Christmas special, she’s bought along Jennifer Hudson and Ariana Grande for whatever the triple version of a duet is. I assumed this would have been a returning entry because it’s a remix but the original never charted in the UK so I’ll have to talk about both here, and, well, there’s a reason “All I Want for Christmas is You” has never been replicated in terms of success and just sheer quality. I talked about this on my best list but there’s never been a song I feel is so ubiquitous of modern Christmas in the current millennium than “All I Want for Christmas is You”, an outright rejection of festive commercialism in preference of just having her significant other around for the holidays. “Oh Santa!” has a similar presence, but in this one, Mariah Carey’s asking for Santa Claus himself to wrap her crush in wrapping paper and gift it to her for Christmas, with a lot less of the warm intimacy of the classic song and without any of the charm. The 2010 version has this really gross drum machine and a lot of cheerleader-type chanting and clapping that starts off as really ugly – and the chanting still is – but honestly makes a pretty good backing for Mariah sliding over the beat with vocals that may not be as impressive as her best but are just as smooth as they should be over a more coy, low-key festive instrumental. My main issue with it is pace because whilst it is a short song, and she does treat us to some whistle notes and runs by the end, it just fades out and the instrumental doesn’t feel like it goes anywhere, making this song sound slow as all hell. If anything, this remix sounds dated, especially with the more modern vocal production with Ariana Grande and Jennifer Hudson, both in a constant struggle with Mariah for getting a word in, to the point where Hudson over-sells her belting and Grande is the only voice recognisable enough here that actually works. Half way in, the song completely devolves into a bridge of aimless runs and “harmonising” from everyone with that ugly chanting, seemingly unchanged from the original. Yeah, this isn’t pretty, and if anything is a remix of an older song that needed a lot more updates to make it work in a 2020 context and fits all of these incredible vocalists in. This could have been great with an original song that was completed to flatter everyone, but there’s too many cooks in the Christmas kitchen here and the cookies being made are being overcooked. Sure, let’s go with that analogy. Next.
#59 – “Daily Duppy – Part 1” – Digga D
Produced by AceBeatz
It’s not uncommon for freestyles to chart in the UK, particularly important British hip-hop tastemaker GRM Daily and their “Daily Duppy” freestyles, which have been the break-out moment for many rappers like Aitch or DIgDat because they reach a level of viral fame and attention that music videos can’t do as well, mostly because of the platform just letting them spit bars over usually decent beats. Digga D was actually opposed to doing one and even sparked some kind of feud with GRM Daily but that dried up soon enough for him to provide them with two “Daily Duppy” freestyles on two different beats but with one cold verse each. Only the first part charted here, as you’d expect, but I’ll cover both. The first part, produced by Ace Beats, has a pretty nice pitch-shifted vocal sample quickly abandoned for the same sample pitched differently, and then it comes back, under a pretty messy drill beat, and whilst Digga D’s riding it really well, I find it hard to be convinced by his delivery here, which is either checked-out or edited so heavily it’s bizarre. I mean, I thought this was a freestyle, right? He can just spit bars over the beat and it’ll be fine, but they add all these stuttering effects, ad-libs and censors that censor pointless words like “juice” but keep actual vulgarities completely intact, as well as censoring some locations but not others. It takes me out of the whole verse, honestly, even if some of it is some pretty slick and nice wordplay, with some funny punchlines and the typical pop culture references you can expect from the more lighthearted of UK drill. I know that people like to make references to their guns in ways that make them even more threatening and eerie, but just like 21 Savage calling his Draco a paedophile, I don’t think Digga D saying that he grooms young ethnic minority boys to sell drugs is “hard” or even enjoyable. I just think it’s pretty awful. I said I’d talk about the second part here, but honestly, it’s a lot less interesting, with a more trap-adjacent beat and boring synths instead of the cool vocal sample. Admittedly, it sounds more like a “freestyle”, but he wastes the moment where the beat cuts out by just rapping filler, and the quarantine references are going to date this, so, yeah, whilst I’m impressed by Digga D’s flow switches here, I’m not a fan of really anything else.
Conclusion
There’s not enough here to give an Honourable or Dishonourable Mention, so I’ll just have to give out the big ones... but everything here is mediocre, so I’m left with not a lot of content at all. I guess Best of the Week can go to the late Juice WRLD and benny blanco for “Real Stuff��, almost purely out of respect, even if the song is just listenable. Worst of the Week was really a toss-up, but I think I’ll give it to “Oh Santa!” by Mariah Carey featuring Ariana Grande and Jennifer Hudson for being such a waste of talent and potential. Only time will tell what comes next week, but I predict a busy one with Christmas music, Taylor Swift and hopefully Kid Cudi, but we’ll see really. I’m going to hazard a guess that we’ll get at least two songs from Taylor and only the Skepta track from Cudi, but I think we could easily have three from each. Here’s this week’s top 10:
You can follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for Imanbek fan-girling and thank you for reading, I’ll see you next week!
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 15th September 2019
This is a pretty damn busy week all things considered, especially in comparison to the last few weeks which have been incredibly dry, by that I mean “No new arrivals” dry, so without further ado, let’s review the charts.
Top 10
Now I’m puzzled, why hasn’t “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy, remixed by Sir Spyro with additional verses from Jaykae and Aitch (Yes, I’m saying that whole thing every time) been dethroned yet? It’s its third week at #1, and I understand that it’s Ed Sheeran making watered-down white-washed grime music which follows somewhat of a UK hip hop trend with pop sensibilities and riding off the waves of a late 2000s grime/UK garage nostalgia phase, it’s essentially the perfect #1 for late Summer-early Autumn 2019 in Britain, but come on, this isn’t a great song and it’s been so close to stepping down from this spot in the past three weeks, in fact...
Aitch may as well have dethroned himself by technicality this week, since the release of his AitcH20 mixtape (I don’t like the dude’s music but I respect the pun) has propelled his lead single “Taste (Make it Shake)” up a spot to number-two, which is a new peak but not the #1 spot as I very much expected, and dreaded, this week.
Potential #1 “Higher Love” by Kygo and the late Whitney Houston is down a spot to number-three thanks to Aitch’s impact, which fortunately, isn’t notable enough for an Album Bomb feature; neither is Post Malone’s Hollywood’s Bleeding but we will see some of that later on.
“Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey is staying still at number-four.
Meanwhile, we have a humorous blunder on the BBC’s part, who said that Post Malone’s “Circles”, at number-five this week, is “down 6”, implying that Post Malone reached the impossible: A #0 spot on the UK Singles Chart. Pretty impressive. This song has grown on me, especially in album context, but I’m not bothered about it all too much still and I do think “Goodbyes” with Young Thug is miles better.
Joel Corry’s “Love Island anthem”, “Sorry” featuring uncredited vocals from Hayley May, is at number-six this week, which isn’t a change at all from last chart.
Unfortunately missing its chance of #1 now is “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike, down two spots to number-seven. I predict Fike’ll be a one-hit wonder because of his general apathy for promotion and performing live, especially since none of his other singles seem to have matched the success of his breakout song, but that debut album will be what decides it, I suppose.
Lil Tecca is down one space to number-eight with “RAN$OM”, which still isn’t plummeting fast enough – I did a UK Top 40 ranking on my Twitter @cactusinthebank and this just barely missed the bottom of that list, so if you wanted any insight on how I feel about that track, there you go.
Young T & Bugsey ride off the Aitch feature as “Strike a Pose” is up another chart position to number-nine.
Finally, we have a gain I’m ecstatic about, as “Goodbyes” by Post Malone featuring Young Thug gains a second wind, up four spaces to #10 thanks to the album release. More on that later, but I’m glad this returned to the top 10, it is a near-perfect pop song.
Climbers
I’m ecstatic about this gain too as Regard’s Jay Sean remix, “Ride It”, is up 10 spaces (or “down 10” – thanks, BBC) off the debut to #15, becoming Regard’s first ever UK Top 20. Congratulations, but man, who cares? Jay Sean has another hit. It’s his ninth UK Top 20 hit overall and first ever since 2010, I hope this guy makes a comeback. Speaking of people getting their first UK Top 20 hits, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I had an unexpected boost 12 spaces up to #19, becoming her first ever as well. There are no other climbers but there are a ton of fallers, so...
Fallers
I think I need for the first time in months to separate these fallers by genre, so...
In reverse order of how high up these songs are on the chart unless noted, and starting with pop, EDM and rock(?), “bad guy” by Billie Eilish (Featuring Justin Bieber, kind of) is down six spaces to #37 as this one’s definitely on its way out. Skipping two songs for the sake of the writing to flow, “Ritual” by Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora is down four to #28, “Someone You Love” by Lewis Capaldi is down six to #27, “Castles” by Freya Ridings is down six as well to #26, “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid is down five to #24 and “boyfriend” by Social House featuring Ariana Grande is down five to #22.
Our second genre is Taylor Swift, as “You Need to Calm Down” has an end to its second wind thanks to the Lover album release, down eight spots to #36 (It’ll be out pretty soon), and the title track (That’s “Lover”) is down nine positions to #31.
Our third and final genre category worth noting is hip hop and R&B, starting with MIST and Fredo dropping a whopping 26 spaces to #35 with “So High”, just as I start to actually like this song, thanks to what are probably streaming cuts... and that’s actually all for that genre. Huh. Maybe I shouldn’t have split this in the first place.
Dropouts & Returning Entries
Our drop outs seem to all be songs from the last stretch of the charts, in fact all of last week’s #36-#40 have been replaced this week, mostly some songs barely holding onto the UK Top 40, specifically in the realm of hip-hop seemingly, with “I Spy” by Krept & Konan, K-Trap and Headie One dropping out from #39 and “Location” by Dave featuring Burna Boy out from #40, as well as “Wish You Well” by Sigala featuring Becky Hill from #38, while some recent debuts are also out of the chart. “The Man” by Taylor Swift is out from #36 but won’t be back and is probably the result of a combination of a busy week and Lover hype dying off, while “Lalala” by Y2K and bbno$ is out from #37 off of the debut, but will re-enter next week at even possibly a higher position actually. It’s just because it’s a busy week and it happened to break in late, it’s not losing in performance.
There are no returning entries so let’s get into the most EPIC part of the show:
NEW ARRIVALS
#40 – “Slide Away” – Miley Cyrus
Produced by Andrew Wyatt and Mike WiLL Made-It – Peaked at #11 in Slovakia and #47 in the US
You’d be hard-pressed to find a Miley Cyrus song I enjoy, even in eras people seem to praise like Bangerz and... well, just Bangerz. I don’t think I’ll ever be a fan of Cyrus to be honest, I’m definitely not a fan of the slight country twang she has in her voice and I never think her production is any good or even worthwhile, usually provided by Mike WiLL. It’s either completely misguided and cringeworthy like SHE IS COMING or to an even worse extent, Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz, or generic, country-influenced pop slush like her Disney efforts and once again to an even worse extent, Younger Now. I did see a lot of buzz about this track in particular that seemed pretty positive, and I’ve got to say, it took her 16 UK Top 40 hits and a music video being released recently, but she’s finally got a charting song that I like, in fact, I might love this. Those slick guitar riffs that start the song off as well as soulful pitch-shifted vocals set a really sombre atmosphere, propelled by the trap percussion with 808s that really dig into the centre of the mix, and an odd scatting and incoherent vocal sample, which is actually an interesting addition and probably Mike WiLL’s contribution. The chorus here is insanely powerful, with Cyrus’ country twang being more subtle and overall, her performance here is a lot more bearable than normal. The swell the airy synths have here especially in the hook is less non-descript than most modern pop and doesn’t present any grandiosity like you’d expect, especially backed by the strings. It sounds more like acceptance, which is incredibly fitting for the subject matter, which as a result from Cyrus’ split with one of the Hemsworths, is focused on how she wants to safely move on rather than focusing on the past as it’s pretty unhealthy especially as she’s now a grown woman (Which she points out in the pre-chorus), with the fully instrumental and surprisingly lengthy outro (Really love the subtle touches there as well, as the vocal sample comes back briefly as well) full of vocodered synth brass and strings flailing out and going nowhere... much like her marriage. Was that on purpose? Probably not, actually, I doubt Mike WiLL really cares, he was probably there to programme some trap drums that sounded a tad sombre and then move on to giving Rae Sremmurd a reason to be making music. Yeah, this is pretty great, although I’d prefer the writing to be a little less undercooked, with a variation on the verse rather than a simple reprise, but I’m not complaining about how it is now really, considering this is a massive improvement on... pretty much everything else. Check it out if you haven’t already.
#38 – “Liar” – Camila Cabello
Produced by watt, The Monsters and the Strangerz and Jon Bellion – Peaked at #13 in Singapore and #56 in the US
I love how history repeats itself. In 2017, Camila Cabello released a double A-side single of sorts, with a trendy pop song following what was popular at the time and a slightly left-field Latin-tinged R&B cut. The trendy pop song, “OMG” with Quavo, underperformed, although the Latin-tinged R&B cut with the incoherent Young Thug guest verse was “Havana”, a #1 hit and one of the most popular songs of the decade, later ending up on the album. Similarly, the “dark pop” Billie Eilish rip-off that is “Shameless” was given the obvious label push but fans seem to really prefer the Latin one, “Liar”, which shows they should probably stop marketing Cabello as a pop star, but we’ll see how that goes in a few months when the album releases. For now, however, we’ve got “Liar”... wait, why the hell does Lionel Richie have a writing credit?
Okay, so I’ve covered 1994’s Year-End list for a Top 5 Best and Worst Hit Songs feature, and I’ve listened to the 1984 list as well for a Top 10 Best Hit Songs feature for that one, and as I guess is a gift of fate, one of the best songs from the 1994 list and one of the worst from the 1984 list are both sampled and/or interpolated in this Camila Cabello song, and trust me, once you hear both of them, you can’t un-hear them, and I heard them immediately. It’s not subtle, but it doesn’t necessarily need to be, the song can still be a catchy pop ditty with the blatant sample... but no amount of Melodyne and vocal manipulation can help Cabello from her rubbery and squeaky, slightly off-key(?) falsetto cooing. It’s not sensual or “Broken”, it just sounds awful. Oh, yeah, and the ska beat is mediocre, with hilariously plastic horns, especially in comparison with “Havana”... Honestly, replacing Pharrell with Jon Bellion and removing Young Thug entirely is probably the worst decision the label made. Nothing here is enticing except an admittedly tight bassline, but what’s the point? Just listen to “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base, download some extra FL Studio saxophone sound effects (Even though the cheap horns in the original are dated, they sound a lot better than the recreation here), and you’ve got a somewhat better version of this song. It’s a weak effort, but my expectations weren’t high in the first place. Still better than “All Night Long (All Night)” though, but that’s a pretty difficult feat.
#21 – “Buss Down” – Aitch featuring ZieZie
Produced by Mojam
Remember ZieZie? I wrote paragraphs on paragraphs about that “Fine Girl” song he had but it really was an enigma to me at the time and still kind of is. Anyway, this is the instant grat single and breakout song from Aitch’s second mixtape, AitcH20 (There are layers to that pun and I respect it). I don’t care about Aitch all that much, he just seems to be a safer alternative and pretty accessible guest rapper, like your grandmother’s favourite British trap artist. This is his fifth UK Top 40 single and ZieZie’s second (I never thought I’d say those two words in my life)... but first of all, I commented on this when I talked about “Fine Girl” but the dude’s released more singles so it’s even more jarring now – why is his pre-fame single “Low Life” still listed on Spotify as “ZieZie- “Low Life”” in both the album and track title? He’s signed to a major label, he’s on one of the biggest UK rappers’ promo single, how has no-one fixed this? Sigh, well, the song’s okay. It’s very much not a trap cut, it takes some influence from the Afroswing that people like MoStack make, especially with the piano riff that’s used as the main synth melody, as well as some cute 808s and an admittedly great hook from ZieZie... but the beat doesn’t change and Aitch is existent. The chorus is four lines, all of which sung twice in one chorus, which happens four times in the song. It’s mostly Aitch with corny lyrics and a really sloppy flow on the verses, with a third verse from ZieZie that is absolutely dreadful, pushes this song to mediocre for me. Not only is it incoherent enough for there to be some [?]s on Genius still, but it’s about taking your girl... but letting ZieZie’s friend have sex with your girl, although apparently your girl likes it when her and ZieZie have rough sex, even though your girl is having sex with ZieZie’s friend instead and your girl loves how caring ZieZie is... Huh?
#20 – “Sounds of the Skeng” – Stormzy
Produced by Sir Spyro
Now, THIS is some good British hip hop. This is Stormzy’s 17th UK Top 40 hit and tenth UK Top 20 single, and it’s pretty great. I understand why it didn’t have a Top 5 debut like the sweet gospel-pop number “Crown” or addictive bop that is “Vossi Bop”, because this is just straight-up grime. It’s not UK garage, there aren’t any pop beats or Jorja Smith vocal samples, it doesn’t go soft, it goes hard. It’s produced by Sir Spyro, it has three rapidly-flowing verses, and it’s an absolute banger. You can barely even hear Stormzy under the dramatic synths and bursts of brass, but you can tell he’s just going and going and going. The only sense of melody we get in this bass-rattling single really, other than the synths and smooth jazz horns in the left channel, is the producer tag that plays briefly in the chorus and never again. There are several moments here I just love, not even necessarily lyrical moments although those are usually on point here, but Stormzy’s wild inflections throughout. Most verses start with a simple, Westernised modern flow and then go into a more speedy and aggressive delivery that barely doesn’t clip in the mix. The first verse is comparatively relaxed, with a pretty lazy cadence, making a pretty obscure Kendrick Lamar reference for whatever reason, with the “Perfect!” sample from Street Fighter perfectly implemented. I like how the first verse seems more like a threat while the second verse and third verse are right into the action, as he asks “old Mike” not to resurface, and in the chorus, even mentions old persona Wicked Skengman or Mr. Skeng. The title of the song has a lot of thought into it as well, being a reference to The Sound of Music juxtaposed with grimey London slang term “Skeng” and the Sir Spyro producer tag, “Sounds of the Sir”. Stormzy starts dissing British rappers who use too much Americanised slang and beat selection in the second verse, with lazy, dismissive ad-libs almost mocking trap-rappers overseas like Migos, and then he reaches the peak of the song. The second verse, personally my favourite, is where he has a machine gun flow enraged outburst, and it is insane, mentioning his two BRIT Award wins while also keeping an impressive delivery that is pretty much just really quick yelling, it’s really intense, but he sounds focused and determined. The third verse is the cooldown, paying tribute to So Solid Crew and their flow and ad-libs, as well as some pretty clever wordplay regarding other rappers Flipz and MIST, as well as Giggs, whose song “Whippin’ Excursion” is rhymed with a brag about how tall he is. He’s 6’5’’, which is towering above me. All three verses here have their own unique flow and cadence, as well as theme seemingly, but that’s not all that clear right now. I’m excited for this one in album context, but this is great already. Check it out.
#11 – “Hollywood’s Bleeding” – Post Malone
Produced by Louis Bell and Brian Lee
Really? The title track? I mean, understandable, it’s the first song on the album and it’s not a bad song at all, but there are so many better and more interesting songs on the album that you’d figue would debut high. “Saint-Tropez”, the “Wow.”-type banger? “Enemies” with DaBaby? The awesome alt-rock banger “Allergic”? Kanye West-produced “Internet”? Future and Halsey pretty much saving the ballad “Die for Me”? Hell, I figured the record-breaking “Take What You Want” with Travis Scott and the legendary Ozzy Osbourne of Black Sabbath would be the obvious choice to chart in the UK, it has Ozzy on it for goodness’ sake! Thanks to UK chart rules, this is the only track from the #1 album allowed though, and it’s not a bad song at all, far from it. It’s just a good more than half of the album, which admittedly is pretty great especially for a Post Malone album, is better than it, most by far. Regardless, it’s Post’s twelth UK Top 40 hit and 11th UK Top 20 hit, and it’s a pretty good introductory song. I should note though, that Post’s last album, beerbongs & Bentleys, also had its non-single intro track with no features, “Paranoid”, also co-produced by Louis Bell, debut and peak at #11, just more than a year ago. What a coincidence. Anyway, the song (And album may I add) starts with some sombre vocals from Post complaining about Hollywood and he sounds pretty great, with less strained vocals than usual and a slight warble which I’m actually a fan of, which is well integrated into the chorus, but when that trap beat hits, it knocks. It’s a great drop. Otherwise, eh, I love Post’s performance here, with a lot of flow shifts throughout both verses, but it’s a pretty standard beat until that one note Post holds into a beat switch, with a very glitchy rock beat with oddly mixed 808s, and it sounds pretty great... until it’s gone in like less than 10 seconds. Good song, but nowhere close to his best.
Conclusion
All things considered, this is a pretty great week. I’d probably give Best of the Week to Stormzy for “Sounds of the Skeng” with tied Honourable Mention going to Miley Cyrus and Post Malone for “Slide Away” and “Hollywood’s Bleeding”. Worst of the Week is going to Camila Cabello for just plain mediocrity in “Liar”, so Aitch is scot-free (Although ZieZie is both the best and worst part of that song). Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for, to be honest, SpongeBob memes and very infrequent musical commentary and ramblings, and I’ll see you next week!
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28th July 2019
This is going to be pretty short and rushed I imagine, but we’ll see.
Top 10
Now, we have a funny top four, similarly to last week, full of Ed Sheeran, but not at our top spot, as “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello is back at #1 for a second week after our number-two took it last week.
Our number-two, by the way, down one spot from last week, is “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid. Now, the rest of the top four is Ed Sheeran.
First of all, at number-three, we have “I Don’t Care” featuring Justin Bieber returning at number-three, which, due to nonsensical chart rules, must be some kind of record for highest re-entry ever on the chart. We’ll talk about this more in the dropouts section.
Oh, yeah, and to my surprise, “Cross Me”, also by Ed Sheeran, featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock is not moving at number-four. I figured this one would be in freefall.
Thanks to a Justin Bieber remix, and well, not much else, Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is up eleven spaces to number-five? I’m puzzled about this one, honestly, if anyone could tell me what happened here I’d appreciate it; this should be floundering in the top 30 right now.
Thanks to the rise of “bad guy”, however, Lewis Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” is down a spot to number-six. Please drop off quicker, I’m begging you.
Also down a single spot on the chart is AJ Tracey’s “Ladbroke Grove” at number-seven.
Eilish claims another victim as MIST and Fredo’s “So High” is also down one spot to number-eight. Don’t worry, all of these songs will rebound.
Oh, and “Wish You Well” by Sigala and Becky Hill is also down a space to number-nine, but I’m still disputing the fact that song exists.
The #10 spot is, once again, held by Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” featuring Billy Ray Cyrus, Young Thug, Mason Ramsey and now that guy from BTS. Congratulations on a record-breaking 17th week at #1 in the US, but here in Britain, it seems oddly stable at #10, I expect streaming cuts to kill it any time now.
Climbers
Freya Ridings’ “Castles” is up eight more spaces off the debut two or so weeks ago, entering the top 20 at #18 and becoming her second ever single to chart there. I’m not complaining, it’s a pretty good song. Outside of the top 20, we have only one other gain here, and that’s “Ritual” by Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora gaining more traction than I expected 12 spaces up to #28. I hope this doesn’t reach the top 20, it’s pretty trite and honestly would make an awful fit for Ora’s next album whenever in the next decade that comes out.
Fallers
We have plenty of these, however. First of all, “Goodbyes” by Post Malone and Young Thug continues its unfortunate slow-burning dive down five spots to #17, with “Someone You Loved” close in front by Lewis Capaldi at #19, thankfully down five spaces from last week. It’s not fast enough, but I’m just glad this is on its way out. D-Block Europe’s “Home” is down five to #25 after surprisingly staying pretty stable on its second week. The biggest surprise here, yet at the same time not a surprise to me at all, is Krept & Konan’s “I Spy” with Headie One and K-Trap collapsing down 14 positions to #32. While most British trap has a pretty short chart run, I at least expected this to last longer than any given D-Block Europe song. Oh, and “One Touch” by Jess Glynne and Jax Jones is on its way out down seven spots to #35 after pretty much flopping, especially considering it’s a Glynne lead single.
Dropouts & Returning Entries
Thanks to a nonsensical UK chart rule that to be fair made sense for situations like an Ed Sheeran album bomb, “Take Me Back to London” featuring Stormzy disappears entirely from its number-three debuts last week, and was replaced by “I Don’t Care”, which dropped out from #2 last week. It must be really confusing for those who don’t know all the chart rules to see stuff like this. Elsewhere, we have a couple dropouts so the new arrivals can move in, with “Bounce Back” by Little Mix proving that the damage control single doesn’t work, after dropping out of the top 40 in its sixth week from #34. Miley Cyrus’ “Mother’s Daughter” is out from #36, which isn’t a surprise, and neither is “Love of My Life” by Remedee, Not3s and Young Adz dropping out off the debut at #37. Young Thug’s “The London” with J. Cole and Travis Scott is also out from #38 and since we have no returning entries, let’s get straight to the new arrivals.
NEW ARRIVALS
#40 – “RAN$OM” – Lil Tecca
Produced by Nick Mira and Taz Taylor – Peaked at #11 in Canada and #19 in the US
I really did not want to talk about this song. This is... “Lil Tecca”’s first UK Top 40 hit (Yes, that is his name, it’s dreadful) and the 16-year-old’s first major-label single. He has like eight songs out and he’s essentially a younger, less interesting or even convincing A Boogie wit da Hoodie clone. A Boogie even has a song called “Ransom” that sparked a lot of buzz in him back when he started out. Some may say it’s the melodic New York trap scene repeating itself, I say it’s a clear “Homage” (Read: trend-hopping and copying another rapper for the sake of this complete nobody getting a lot bigger, especially now he has a label behind him). Nobody is talking about how he’s probably some kind of industry plant because nobody cares about the person, Lil Tecca, they care about the song, “Ransom”. This guy has no star power at all or even any potential as a legitimately interesting artist. Okay, let’s stop stalling and get to the meat and potatoes of this song, which are that hook and that video. The video, while uninteresting, was directed by Cole Bennett of Lyrical Lemonade and hence propelled the song to, you know, any sense of popularity, which it wouldn’t have gathered before at all, at least not to the heights of a worldwide smash and top 20 hit in the US. God, this guy infuriates me. I’m definitely going to talk about this song a bit more in January, if you catch my drift, but essentially, this song is melodic trap boiled down to its essence, with a Lil Tjay type beat carrying a Juice WRLD type rapper. There’s one barely-a-verse which lasts about 24 seconds, but the issue is the song is two minutes and 11 seconds long, and, yes, that chorus is infectious but not nearly as powerful as he thinks it is to carry the song for this long, especially since he has no charisma. It sounds like a Python programme wrote and performed a rap song, it really is some of the most monotonous, non-descript garbage to come out of SoundCloud rap. I hate this, it’s definitely on my worst list for 2019, and next!
#38 – “Sorry” – Joel Corry
Produced by Joel Corry
Is it bad that my first observation about this song is that some rapper is going to mention this in a sappy out-of-character love ballad? I mean, think about it, “Sorry” and Joel Corry rhyme. It’s going to happen. Anyway, who’s Joel Corry, you ask? Good question. His Wikipedia page or lack thereof redirects me to a record label called Ostereo which seems pretty successful, and they have a tiny paragraph on Corry. Apparently, he started establishing himself as a DJ on the MTV reality show Jersey Shore. This isn’t looking great, I know, but bear with me, he’s also a body-builder and now presents a radio show on KISS FM. Okay, so, really, much like Lil Tecca, he’s a complete nobody who got picked up by some big label who couldn’t care less about artistic intent, except this is a little more intriguing, considering Ostereo is an independent label and Joel Corry is a DJ, so I’m assuming it’s EDM and I’m right, but it seems snipped from a DJ set. You can tell in the intro, it sounds like the end of a song and an abrupt bleep transition, maybe that’s just for artistic effect but it doesn’t sound great. This is pretty standard deep pop-house, with an unnamed female vocalist singing over a lot of snare and keys, with plenty orchestral stabs to remind you a song is playing. Albeit oddly-mixed at times, the build-up is pretty affective, the drums sound cheap as hell though, as does that drop, it’s really anti-climactic and doesn’t really work at all. The final build-up and drop is admittedly pretty epic though, it gets rid of the anti-climactic minimalism and leaves just a club-ready synth melody over a lot of strings, it sounds really cool is what I’m saying. The build-up itself is manic as well, very interesting, and the singer seems to be a sample from Monsta Boy’s “Sorry! (I Didn’t Know)” featuring Denzie, and, yes, I know samples aren’t typically considered guest spots but the female vocalist is instrumental to this song and its success so surely a featured credit wouldn’t hurt. It’s not Denzie, and by the way, this is so much better than that Monsta Boy song thanks to how Denzie is one of the most incompetent singers known to man, and this female vocalist is actually pretty talented despite singing the exact same lyrics, and referencing Brandy, as in “The Boy is Mine” Brandy, which was unexpected. I’ve searched it up and I can’t find her anywhere, not even on the Genius page, so to me this is just a bit of a douche move.
Edit: I’ve done some extra research and the vocalist is Hayley May. It’s also from the Love Island soundtrack apparently, which makes me like the song a lot less on principle. I’d love to see more from May though, she doesn’t even have a writing credit on this song.
#36 – “Hate Me” – Ellie Goulding and Juice WRLD
Produced by Jason Evigan and The Monsterz & the Strangerz – Peaked at #18 in Hungary and #82 in the US
Oh, Ellie Goulding exists. Yeah, I forgot about that. Listen, I don’t hate Ellie Goulding, far from it, I think she’s fine, but at least lately after about 2015 or so, she has not been nearly as interesting as I want her to be, especially because the songwriting chops are definitely there. When I saw her collaborate with emo-rapper Juice WRLD of all people, I knew this would be far from interesting or good so I’m honestly starting to lose hope in that upcoming album, especially since her other singles “Sixteen” and “Close to Me” were far from special. This is Goulding’s 22nd(!) UK Top 40 hit and Juice WRLD’s third, and, yeah, this isn’t great. That hook is really desperate and this would work if her delivery wasn’t bratty and the lyrics really don’t fit and it feels very cluttered and rushed, like they’re just trying to get it over with... which makes sense, I mean that’s the topic of the song but it’s not convincing, because she wants an answer and she wants it quick, so she’d stop at nothing, surely, but the song’s really short and doesn’t really have any lasting impact. Juice WRLD doesn’t freaking exist, gladly, he doesn’t even join in with the chorus really, which by the third repetition gets really aggravating. The production is an airy mess with trap percussion and cloudy synths that cover Juice WRLD’s vocoder-fuelled performance to the point of not being able to recognise him. It’s not good at all, but I feel it’s just tolerable and bland enough for me to not dislike it. I never thought I’d say this, but Lil Peep did it better.
#12 – “How Do You Sleep?” – Sam Smith
Produced by Ilya – Peaked at #4 in Singapore and #29 in the US
Sam Smith’s second single from this upcoming new album and era, after the success of “Dancing with a Stranger” with Normani, seems to be a lot more energetic especially in comparison with his other two albums he’s released. He seems to have ditched the shoddy pop-soul and has gone straight into more danceable territory, which I’m not complaining about. I loved him on “Latch” and “La La La”, and thought “Dancing with a Stranger” was pretty cool, but other than that there’s not a single song by Smith that I like. Anyway, this is his 14th UK Top 40 hit, and you know what, it’s not bad at all. I love the twinkling synths that carry the song’s main melody, they’re cute but paired with trap percussion and intense sub bass can come off as both oddly sinister as well as infatuated, fitting with the content and subject matter of this song, in which Smith questions how his partner sleeps when he has Smith tangled in a toxic relationship which he can’t get out of, and that “love will keep them up tonight”. I love the second verse, where Smith admits he’s lost himself in his relationship through his subtly Auto-Tuned vocals that are still pretty impressive. The chorus is incredibly catchy while still being powerful and despite all this, that drop kind of sucks. After a great vocoder vocal bridge, the drop is really weak and squeaky, especially with that screechy synth tone, which doesn’t sound as melodramatic or pained as the rest of the song, and instead sounds incredibly lazy. It might grow on me, as the weeping of the drop is kind of humorous right now but could easily fit in with the song’s overall tone and mood, but we’ll see. Overall, this song surprised me, it’s actually really good bar from the trap and EDM elements possibly bogging it down a bit, I think Smith’s songwriting is definitely what shines here instead of Ilya’s production, which is disappointing since I usually love his production.
Conclusion
Yeah, I’m shocked too, but Best of the Week goes to Sam Smith for “How Do You Sleep?”, and Honourable Mention is reluctantly going to “Love Island anthem”, “Sorry” by Joel Corry featuring Hayley May, even if it’s not all that good, only decent. Dishonourable Mention is going to Ellie Goulding and Juice WRLD for “Hate Me” because of course it is, and Worst of the Week should be pretty damn obvious, it’s Lil Tecca’s for “RAN$OM”. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week.
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28th April 2019 (Jonas Blue, Lil Dicky, Rita Ora)
Top 10
We have a couple new arrivals this week, but the biggest story is still how this song clings on to the top spot, as “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus still at number-one for a second week, and both the meme and constant discussion surrounding the song continue to spread to the point where it’s a cultural phenomenon.
The rest of the top 10 is incredibly less interesting. “Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys is up two spaces to number-two. It could make a play for the top.
Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” is also down a spot to number-three.
Down one position from last week is Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” at number-four.
Tom Walker’s “Just You and I” isn’t moving at number-five.
Avicii’s posthumous hit “SOS” featuring vocals from Aloe Blacc has boosted up six spaces to number-six, becoming Avicii’s first ever posthumous Top 10, as well as his tenth Top 10 in general, and Aloe Blacc’s third.
Up a spot from last week is the Jonas Brothers with “Sucker” at number-seven.
Russ (Splash) and Tion Wayne’s “Keisha & Becky” stabilises its spot at number-eight, down a spot from last week.
Elevating a single space from recent controversy is “Here with Me” by Marshmello and CHVRCHES at number-nine.
At #10, to round off our top 10, is “Talk” by Khalid, up a space and returning to the top 10.
Climbers
Wiley’s “Boasty” featuring verses from Stefflon Don, Sean Paul and Idris freakin’ Elba is up five spaces to #12, whilst “All Day and Night” by EUROPA featuring Madison Beer enters the top 20 at #14, up eight spaces from last week, becoming the first top 20 hit for EUROPA as a group, as well as Jax Jones’ seventh, Martin Solveig’s third as well as Beer’s first ever (Congratulations). Other than that, “Pretty Shining People” by George Ezra is up nine spots to #25, and his other song “Shotgun” is up seven to #30, so there must have been some sort of boost to the album sales, but generally, that’s all we have.
Fallers
We have a few more of these, or at least it seems these songs are more notable. “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man finally gets its streaming cuts due to dumb UK chart rules and is down 10 positions to #16, whilst “Boy with Luv” by BTS featuring Halsey collapses 16 spaces down to #29 as K-pop always does, “Disaster” by Dave featuring J Hus is down six spaces to #33, whilst “wish you were gay” by Billie Eilish as well as “MONOPOLY” by Ariana Grande and Victoria Monet seem prepared for a premature exit, down 11 and 10 spots respectively to #37 and #40.
Dropouts & Returning Entries
I’m going to assume YNW Melly has had his streaming cut as “Murder on My Mind” is completely out of the Top 75 after dropping out from #38. Speaking of, “Options” by NSG and Tion Wayne has very unfortunately dropped out from #23 due to this dumb chart rule, which directly affects certain genres, i.e. urban music like hip hop and R&B (as well as EDM, for that matter) that is boosted prominently from streaming, from never having any longevity and not becoming as big as hits on the year-end than they deserve. “Options” would have been locked if it weren’t for this rule, as I think it would have lasted many more weeks. The other drop-out is from Ariana Grande and it’s “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” from #39.
NEW ARRIVALS
#39 – “Carry On” – Kygo and Rita Ora
Produced by Kygo and Afsheen – Peaked at #8 in Norway
Yes! I finally get to talk about Pokémon! I know what you’re thinking, what? Why? It’s just Rita Ora collaborating with some massive EDM producer like she always does, and while you’re right, it’s for the Detective Pikachu film, which isn’t currently out but I am going to see it at some point. I’m excited to hear this soundtrack as well, although I’m not exactly expecting Kygo and Rita Ora to deliver anything particularly good, or interesting, or Pokémon-related for that matter. Pokémon songs for the anime films have never directly related to the film plots, though, and usually were kind of boring, motivational songs with very vague lyrics, which is understandable as they had to be rushed out every single year. Anyway, this is Kygo’s seventh Top 40 hit and Rita Ora’s 21st, which is impressive, and is it any good? No. Of course it isn’t, and I’m mostly indifferent on this tasteless drivel that EDM producers put out in general with female pop singers where it sounds like the singers have been artificially sped-up, with mixing that’s overly-drowned in reverb and an instrumental as dry as clay years after it is first moulded. The piano melody here isn’t bad, but it isn’t unique and doesn’t carry Rita Ora’s incredibly weak hook, and in general her performance here sucks, like that random “Woo!” she adds in that pauses the song entirely just to halt his momentum, to add nothing at all! There’s barely a real drop here, so it just feels like a constant onslaught of nothingness and high-pitched vocal samples, which I somewhat like for its effort not to make a club banger but rather a tropical house ballad straight out of the dregs of 2016, and it’s not the last new arrival we have that does that here, but this is the only one I’ll talk about in this episode, more on that later. Anyways, this isn’t worth much analysis. It’s dreadfully boring but it’s not exactly long and doesn’t overstay its presence for THAT long, I suppose, it’s just disappointing for a soundtrack that is supposed to provide the music for what is looking out to be a film full of personality with actors oozing charisma. I’m looking out for the Sonic the Hedgehog film’s soundtrack a bit more now, albeit just for the novelty of a Dr. Robotnik cover of “Gangsta’s Paradise”. Next.
#27 – “No Diet” – Digga D
Produced by Ghosty
Digga D is a UK drill artist, as most of the rappers we see on the charts are in 2019. I’ve only vaguely heard of him before, so I think it’s safe to assume that the extreme marketing for the song involving a lot of different companies and individuals, including Mixtape Madness, is what landed this on the charts as Digga D’s first top 40 hit, as well as the video which is about trafficking crack cocaine in Coca-Cola cans... sure. Anyway, is the song itself any good? Well... the beat is incredibly minimalistic like most UK drill, with just an ominous piano line as the backing for a skittering hi-hat and bass-heavy trap beat – those 808s, by the way, are pretty insane. Digga D isn’t really saying anything of interest or anything different than the other guys, but the beat is good enough to carry him a lot of the time, and I love his weird sounds he uses for the ad-libs. It reminds me of a British Migos, where instead of repeating the line, he just makes unintelligible nonsense words and stutters. The singing on the second verse is pretty janky in relative to when it appears in the verse, and while Genius says this and the supposedly playful lyrics are what sets it apart, I don’t see the juxtaposition here, I just think it’s kind of surreal in how bipolar this song feels. There’s an ominous, eerie and menacing beat, violent and braggadocious lyrics from Digga, and then a bunch of silly, humorous ad-libs over it. This song has an identity crisis first and foremost, and while we’re at it...
#24 – “Earth” – Lil Dicky
Produced by benny blanco and Cas—
Nope. No, sorry, not touching this one. I appreciate what it’s doing for charity but I have a LOT to say about this song and trust me, it is not overwhelmingly positive, so, no, I’m not covering this one, at least not like this, and not right now. I might do a full-length review at some point but I think it’s much more likely that I talk about this at the end of the year, if you get the gist. For now, to replace an actual review, let me just list the guest stars, because technically, this is a song by Lil Dicky featuring Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Halsey, Zac Brown of his eponymous band, Brendan Urie of Panic! at the Disco, common fungus Hailee Steinfeld, Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg, Kevin Hart as Kanye West, Adam Levine of Maroon 5, Shawn Mendes, Charlie Puth, Sia, Miley Cyrus, Lil Jon, Rita Ora, Miguel, Katy Perry, Lil Yachty as an STD, Ed Sheeran, Meghan Trainor, mother-father gentleman PSY, professional basketball player Joel Embiid, Tory Lanez, John Legend, Bad Bunny, Kris Wu, Leonardo DiCaprio and the entirety of the Backstreet Boys. Does that count as a review for Lil Dicky’s second UK Top 40 single? I don’t care, I’ll talk about in length when I want to. Trust me, I’m planning ahead.
#23 – “What I Like About You” – Jonas Blue and Theresa Rex
Produced by Jonas Blue – Peaked at #1 in Belgium
Oh, yeah, this, okay, well, Jonas Blue exists, I guess, and I’m supposed to review everything he puts out because everything this dude makes charts... and sucks. I don’t really have a problem with the dude, but nothing he makes is all that interesting, and he’s the epitome of carelessly generic EDM and dance-pop. This particular track features vocals from Theresa Rex, Danish pop singer who you won’t know by name and she doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page, but you will know the voice of from “Solo Dance” years back, which she had uncredited vocals on (I’m glad they stopped not crediting the vocalists on EDM tracks, especially since, you know, they do all the heavy lifting in terms of singing). The production here is pretty tropical, I guess, with some handclaps and a weak synth drop that has a few orchestral stabs to replace any unique instrumentation. None of the vocal melodies catch on yet and I’d much prefer “Solo Dance” to this. What else am I supposed to say? I know I’ve taken the easy way out with these two songs, but honestly we’re at a standstill in the charts right now where it should really be more interesting than it is.
Conclusion
Even if I didn’t review it, I don’t care, Lil Dicky and friends still get Worst of the Week for “Earth”, with Dishonourable Mention going to Jonas Blue and Theresa Rex for “That’s What I Like About You”, or something to that effect. In fact, there’s no Best of the Week or Honourable Mention, the Dishonourable Mention is tied as Kygo and Rita Ora’s “Carry On” exemplifies the exact same problem. God, what a crappy week. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and Top 20 rankings, and I’ll see you next week!
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