#yea i'm not putting this on my sideblog
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;; yk what i'm just gonna make a multi fuck this LMAO
#;; angel still is my highest muse so i'm gonna just add a multi sideblog under this one...? idk if thats a good idea?#;; or if i should just make a whole ass new blog#;; i dont KNOOW#;; cause i want vox to get his own blog cause he's. he's uh. Uh#;; yea . LMAO#;; vox doesn't play well with others lets put it that way he needs his own blog ( with his own tws )#;; iiiidk#;; ooc
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it’s 3am and i’m not tired send help /lh
#✄ ; barking#/i just drew smth very . um#/spicy#/is the word#/and i love it rn#/and i'm hoping i still think it looks good tmrw#/but um yea#/idk if i'll put it on my sideblog#/but yea my excitement for the drawing overrides the fact tht it's 3am
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on phandom whiteness, race and stereotypes
I've been meaning to make this post for a while. I have never been very active in this fandom space, and part of that has been due to a discomfort I have felt that i have never felt i could discuss openly. So while I want to be a part of this phandom, I need to adress the elephant in the room and I want this sideblog I created to be a space where others like me can feel safe to voice their feelings and thoughts.
To preface this, I am not looking to "cancel" dan and phil. I just want to talk about my experiences both as a hardcore phan for years, and as someone who deviates from the usual dnp fan: I'm not a white person from Europe, US, Canada.
To put it bluntly, some of their videos are extremely hard to watch and enjoy and it makes me feel alienated when no one talks about it. There is no media without "problematic" elements, but I feel like in other fandom spaces people at least talk about elements worth questioning because they may be offensive or ignorant.* And yet dan and phil are hailed as "unproblematic kings" when this is not the case at all, and it's hard to bring up how I feel.
I'm not looking to make a comprehensive list of everything they've said, but I will talk about a few examples to illustrate what I mean.
Sexy Internet Dating (1:59-2:03)
d: whats yo name
p: i like how the guinea pig is now a sassy black woman
A Day in the Life of Phil and Dan! (3:58-4:03)
p: Suncream
d: suncream for your albino face
p: yea
d: i don't need it because i'm already black
Does anyone remember the Mexican Dan thing? He seems to have deleted most of the things associated with that period where he was tan and "jokingly" fancied himself a different race because of it but this little window to that time remains in one of the most beloved videos of all time. Can you see how this might be hard to watch? When even the most iconic videos they've made are sprinkled with little instances of ignorant comments like this?
And let me be clear, I know this was ages ago. I'm aware they might have grown and changed. What really gets to me is how nobody in the phandom ever talks about these moments. It makes me really lonely and disappointed that everyone turns a blind eye to things that might tarnish the image of their faves.
Like for example, the pewdiepie situation. I'm not going to discuss everything he did and said. But imagine how it might feel as a non-white fan to want to rewatch old dnpgames videos and find that they kept their videos with him up all this time:
youtube
They were clearly quite friendly with F*lix. Besides these videos, Felix is also casually mentioned in some of their videos and livestreams from the time before he was "cancelled" (more on that later). But did they ever say anything condemning his actions? I think that given how they had collaborated and were friends, I would expect them to say SOMETHING rather than just never speak on the matter (as far as I know, the closest they got to this was in a liveshow where dan said he had had "a conversation" with felix in a way that implied he disapproved of his actions.) Or at the very very least, is it really that hard to delete a video? They have deleted old videos for a variety of reasons. How is collabing with a known racist not reason enough to go through the trouble of deleting a video? But deleting other videos just because they're a bit"cringey" is worth that time?
I just wonder how regretful they really are at having been friends and collaborators with him. In fact, part of me wonders if they are still friends behind the scenes. If this is ever confirmed btw, that will cause me to stop watching them forever. And they might still be friends in their little white circle for all we know. After all dan and phil are long time friends of KickthePj. And PJ is STILL friends with pewdiepie.
Now, besides PJ being dnp's friend and having once been part of the phantastic foursome, I don't care much for his content except for when dan and phil have been featured (lol sorry not sorry). And this might be the case for many of you as well! But some of you ARE avid kickthepj fans and decided to ignore the fact that he uploaded a video with pewdiepie last month. There is no plausible deniability here anymore. Despite the harms pewdiepie has done in internet spaces--and how that extends to real life--NOBODY said anything about how kickthepj doesn't care enough (or at all) to simply NOT make a video with pewdiepie.
It's staggering to me that no one cares. It's shocking to me that in these videos i've mentioned, you go to the comment section and everyone will be happily enjoying the video with no mention of these things.
Is this what being "cancelled" looks like? It seems to me like with the passage of time, Pewdiepie and his friends and followers just want to sweep it all under the rug. How is it that the internet will tear a man to shreds for plagiarism but then find it in themselves to excuse racism?
Why does no one care? Is it because this space is overwhelmingly white? I think so. I think it's a conscious choice to turn a blind eye when it's convenient. So I just wanted to make this post to say that if you ever feel alienated by the white ignorance of dnp or their circle of their fans, then you can come talk to me and I won't ignore you.
I want to be a part of this phandom, I really love dan and phil, but I'm not going to "stan" them. I'm not going to make excuses for them. And I'm not going to keep quiet just so I can be a part of this fandom without making the vast majority of white fans uncomfortable.
*I'm thinking of my experiences in the supernatural fandom. (Although, i'm not saying it's perfect. There are certainly a number of fics that have made me feel very disappointed inthe creator for falling into the trap of racial stereotypes in OCs and stuff like that, and despite that so many people enjoy it and include it in rec lists.)
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☄️ᯓ 𝐍𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞
HAIII!!!
Welcome to the silly nation‼️
...where you watch me say wild stuff, pretty much😗😗
𝘾𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙛𝙛 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙚:
-> My name's Reine, but Vanilla will do great too!!! You can give me a nickname, too :DD
-> I like MCR, PTV, FOB, SWS, and kindaaaaa getting into tokio hotel bc of my menace sister..
-> I use She/Her
-> Idk if this really matters,, but my mbti is ENFJ!!!!
-> I also like sports, mainly football (or soccer???) And I'm surely one big fan of Arsenal FC💯 I'm being serious. I LOVE football so much, please talk to me about it I will get EXCITED 😨
-> Outside of my music taste, I'm very open to listening to anything!! You can always talk to me about artists from other genres 😴😴
-> Sometimes I'll be a little bit of a slut for some dude named Tony Perry... Don't mind that pls🙏🙏
-> Lets just assume I like everything until I say I don't know what you're on about 🥱🥱
🍁𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬...
𝙆𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙:
💫𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡!
I'm not the most composed person so don't mind me if I started being.... strange😨😨
(Shhh...I say unhinged stuff and I don't even know how I'm not terminated yet🤷♀️🤷♀️)
I run a cult (@mydinnercult) which is slightly unsettling but we shall CARRY ON🙏
𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓:
-If you're Dhar Mann.
Yeaaah, I have nothing against anyone really 😭😭 sometimes I think of putting something like "MCR5 DENIERS!!!" but then I think I can probably tolerate these people to an extent 😗😗
Dhar Mann tho is a different story, he's my sworn enemy.
As long as you're not weird in a bad way, you should be good🔥🔥
🪐𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞...
𝙊𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧/𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨:
yea I need a whole section for those, so what🙄😒???
@oddvanilla is technically also my main
My grandkid would be @how-long-till-im-a-fan-of-ptv,, and my GREAT grandkid is @hourly-pierce-the-veil... Interesting family tree, huh?🥱🥱
Then you've got the quiet cousin who's running on queue like ALL the time @sireninfestedwaters (jus stuff that are so perfect they satisfy me) and the cool aunt would be @trossards19jersey (Arsenal posting)
🍂𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐬!!
Edit: WOW LOOK AT THAT ANOTHER PTV SIDEBLOG!!! IM DEFINITELY GREAT AT MANAGING A MILLION PTV SIDEBLOGS 😎😎 @bestptvsongtournament
Cats or gtfo
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me when. When trevor and derek
loooong intro
☆
hello theree! my name is micheal, but you can also call me by any name! i go by he/they :)
recommended names:
mix
trevor
alec
amariah
iheartalec (,,,)
and more!
☆
i'm interested in disventure camp, af2, databrawl, total drama, nrdd, heathers (kind of), flicker, barbie, object shows, etc etc.. (pls interacr if you're in those fandoms)
☆
things you should know:
i'm a minor. please don't be weird in dms.
m autistic and also have adhd
i am trans. you don't have to support me or anything, but please use my correct pronouns.
this blog might swear in about 65%-90% of their posts
this is only a sideblog, not my main blog
this is a roleplay account, but i will be ooc more often
this blog will mainly be about flicker/disventure camp, but i will also post other things
it's okay to ask if we can be moots! just please don't be an asshole
i will tag anything nsfw as.. nsfw. if i'm not sure that it's nsfw, i will put a question mark
i'm stupid asf
☆
now.. its time
for my interact, thin ice, and dni lists..
interact! (TALKIGN WITH UOU DAILYL)
part of lgbtq or not, idrc! js as long as u respect it
ALEC (DC) LOVERS 🙏🙏
DISVENTURE CAMP LOVERS PLS BRO 🙏🙏🙏🙏
irls?? idk
silly goobers
js nice people in general!
IN THE OSC!! plsllslalwl
people in ths SAME FANDOMS AS ME!!!
thin ice.. (may not talk to as much)
asshole towards my other friends.
joke abt serious topics
calls me by the wrong pronouns. (2-4 times)
asks for personal information.
people who use tonetags wrong on purpose
faking disorders.
19+..
dni. (dont talk to me.)
basic dni criteria
alex haters /j /j /j
21+. im sorry but it js makes me feel uncomfortable
uhh not alot here
might add more soon
yea!! thx for readinh
tags below!
#alec disventure camp#(any character) disventure camp#flicker#disventure camp#nrdd#total drama#td#databrawl#adventure forward 2#ic#ooc#[tumblr]#<- HELP ??#alexposting#(any character) flicker#au#aus#and other stuff
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I've been following you for a coupla years now ever since your xicheng era. It's interesting to see whenever you get into new fixations, it introduces me to lesser animes or BLs or new ships that otherwise I would never think of and more often than not I got hooked to them thanks to you 😁 I'm very shy and awkward so mostly in fandoms I'm in im just a silent enjoyer and follower. I'm so happy when you started posting and reblogging jjk because it's a fandom I've been silently lurking for years and moreover because you like stsg and also chousou because they are one of my favorites too. I pretty much enjoy reading your posts and your reblog tags, they are funny! May you share how you got into that? Because you mention one time that you regret those who drew you into jjk 😅 is it something to do with big fandom?
Ps. I like your fic so much, it's like a healing session after chapter 236, I thought i'd let you know here because i'm too shy to comment directly on the fic
Omg this is so sweet of you, anon, thank you! I hope y'know your kind words just made my whole day <3. Wow if you've been following me that long then you shud go off anon so I wud know who you are ^^ but I get it! I enjoy being silent lurker and follower too from times to times.
Also wow I'm amazed you've put up with my everchanging fixations that long lol I know I'm annoying that whenever I'm into new fixation then I wudn't shut up abt it for a while and too lazy to ever make sideblogs. Anw, I don't really remember when I said that ahaha I'd most likely just joked or be sarcastic when I wrote that. I did feel so much pain knowing my otp is a doomed ship but it's nothing I didn't know before I even started jjk. Moreover it ended in a good note for me what with the latest chapters of them so it's all good now. The abundant loveable characters of jjk making it easy to explore other dynamics and ships too. Even dynamics I'd usually nvr entertain so it's been an eye opener experience! I don't regret a thing. Glad to know we share similar tastes :)
but yea I'm really not good with big fandoms overall and am usually content with the tiny corner of my own. My last experience with big fandoms, before I switched completely to obscure fandoms, were too unpleasant that I didn't wish to ever repeat it. But I'm more adept with curating what I wanna see now so I won't get put-off or get bored quickly. Tiny fandoms are nice and comfy but they were oftentimes unsustainable for me due to the lack of interactions. Still, I'm so happy to hear my shitposts could actually introduce you to new fixations!
Abt how I get into jjk. Well, unlike any other animes mangas I'm into, I actually have irl friends and coworkers that are fans of jjk. 3 of them are close to me (one of them is my spouse lol) and had literally pestered me to try it for long so they'd have someone to talk with. So I'd known about it since around 2 years ago when the movie came out. I was curious bcs it was such a hype around me even though they were all adults who usually didn't even watch anime so there must be sth different abt it. Yet I kept putting it off cz I was just not into supernatural fantasy shounen. I decided this year would be a good time to start since with season 2 the hype around me was too high that I just got swept in it, naturally. I cudn't tamp down my curiosity any longer plus I got time now during this break so why not, right? The thing is my irl friends arent into simping let alone shipping (at least not that I know in public, who knows what they might be doing in private) so I keep that side here ofc!
Awwwh thank you so much for letting me know you like my fic! Ch 236 was indeed devastating for a while tho it was still a HE in some aspects (for me). It's an outlet for me to pour my HCs for the characters that stuck with me. I hope you know that even if it's just excited emojis, a comment in the fic worths a lot for authors cz it let them know not just abt whether their fics are being read and liked, but how their works actually affect the readers, it's a potent drive for authors and feedbacks are helping authors so you don't need to be shy 😉
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it's late december, you know what that means!
i was gonna make a joke about how this has a lot of variety for once (last year's was almost entirely blaseball..) except i got consumed by dominion & fixxiverse in the second half of the year and i didn't realize exactly how much until making this. dang!
this year was.. rough. for a lot of reasons. but at as far as art goes, i'm happy? usually when making these i get frustrated because there's always one or two months where i struggle to find anything finished to put in here, but i didn't run into that this year. and that's good! it feels nice to be drawing and having fun and trying a lot of new things. uh. yea
links to individual pieces under the cut!
(note: some of these link to my mcyt fandom sideblog)
JANUARY: gotta go fast!
FEBRUARY: so light em up.png
MARCH: ..unposted? oops.
APRIL: ELFILIN! BURGER!
MAY: summon the choir
JUNE: 2022 aton ref
JULY: magya!
AUGUST: ghost in a song
SEPTEMBER: how did we get here?
OCTOBER: SEEK AND DESTROY
NOVEMBER: voyage home
DECEMBER: this is how it starts
#leo chirps#leodoodles#2022 art summary#the real reason why i havent been posting anything ''''polished'''' here is bc its all been on my sideblog lmao#help girl. fixxiverse
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Soooo, I'm back!✨🌟
Vent warning?? (Idk if it's a vent or not but just in case)
Apparently my art teacher has exhibitioned a painting that I did some months ago, she apparently( I think it's there my bff told me about it) put it outside her art studio thing where she teaches people art and stuff. Soooo yea, that's kinda meh. Should I ask one of the girls in my class if it's possible that I could have it back? I don't really want it exhibitioned. (Sorry for my bad English, it's not my native language)
Anywayssss should I post some of my art on here or maybe make a art sideblog?🐍🐍
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hi!! i hope this doesn't sound needy or dumb, but i noticed you blocked me on my main account (this is my back up tumblr) ghoularaki and i think it's bc i reblogged your fics on my sideblog goblinoikawa where i was dumb and forgot to put my age (22). i'm also a writer so i get checking ageless blogs 😭😭. i really love your writing and i was wondering if it's okay if you could unblock me. i'm really sorry for the mix up and the inconvenience hzsjsbsjsn. if there's anyway you want me to confirm my age i can that too!!
you asked if i got your ask too and i did! ,,, i wanted to answer and unblock you all in one fell swoop but i've run into the problem that,,, i can't find you in my blocked list?? like i must've blocked you a whiiilllle ago which makes me think that maybe you were involved in that/liked the wrong posts in that whole sakusa hate nights or that whole anti situation with those 15yos that were wilding last year, because i did mass block a ton of people then to avoid all the bs??? maybe??? because yea i can't think of any reason i would block your MAIN blog bc of something on your sideblog. ( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ )♡ im still looking into it!!
#thank you also; im so glad you like my writing!!#but yea if someone knows how to unblock someone on a sideblog?#please let me know bc i scrolled through the list for a whILE and couldnt see your blog#so it must be a relatively old block#honey mail#i am soTHUFRYgfryd im very sorry jnhudygugufd
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Tarot tumblr is so corny, I’m glad some members are getting dragged
I was going to answer this when I "come back" so to speak -this is a sideblog so it's not like I can just log out LOL. that would mean logging out of my whole account-
but yea, I saw this and laughed lmao.
I think, Ego has a big part to play in it. when we get comfortable "At the top" so to speak. that is, when we get comfortable having people follow us and people deeming that we know more than ... what we truly do, ... essentially, when we are put on a pedestal, people let it get to them.
and if you're not constantly remaining humble, it will eventually run up the ladder. and sometimes, even the most humble of us need a reality check.
I know I do sometimes. I know my temper is a problem.
but I also know when to step away. like today and the next few days. I've had enough and I'm not here for it anymore lmao.
I love the people I've met but this is getting ridiculous. y'all are human. it's okay if you need reminders but stop dragging me if I say it five times and then yell because you ain't listening.
if you listen the first time, you don't get dragged.
like. IDK.
#it's not even like I can just tag them in a post#like i literally reblog the post so they know whats up lmao#it's the internet#we all need to chill#but also like listen?#maybe listen#i know Im the new kid so to speak#but like#listen? try listening lol
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Hi! ᓚᘏᗢ
Idk why but I felt like making my first post be a bit of an intro to pin so people can get to know me. Gonna be long so… yea~
First off: Minors, please DNI! I am 25yo and due to the nature of the content I interact with, while I may not post anything necessarily explicit, my blog will be host to things I’d be uncomfortable having minors seeing. Also, this feels like it should go without saying, but racists/zionists/nazis/terfs… GTFO. And lastly- I don’t like drama. Fandom drama, personal drama, whatever it is, please just don’t bring it to my blog. I won’t engage, and I use the block button liberally…
Now that that’s out of the way…
I’m River, I’m an INFP, and I’m struggling with figuring out my gender identity, so use whatever pronouns you want, I honestly don’t care right now. Also, while I don't put any stock into astrology, I do quite like the aesthetic of it, so that being said- I'm a Leo Sun, Capricorn Moon, and Cancer Rising. I call myself agnostopagan, a term I found in Erin Morgenstern's book "The Starless Sea". Her character, Zachary Ezra Rawlins, describes it as "spiritual, but not religious".
I’ve used tumblr off and on since… like ~2014? I delete and remake my blog every time and there’s still at least one out there that I can’t remember how to access in order to delete… but I don’t mind because the url is funny and I’m proud of it (it’s a secret though).
I used to do the whole sideblog thing, where I’d do aesthetics and memes and poetry and stuff all on different blogs, buuuuuuut… I’m lazy and don’t want to do that this time. I do endeavor to properly tag my stuff for organizational purposes this time around though (hopefully…) so at least there’s that. I desire to mostly use tumblr on the computer this time as well, so that should make me more likely to tag things and keep everything somewhat organized and... well, maybe not tidy, but something close...?
I’m mostly a nerd, so I’ll mostly post nerdy stuff. I’m also on the Autism spectrum, as well as ADHD, so I have many hyperfixations and special interests that’ll dominate my blog. Lots of video games (primarily BG3 and Stardew Valley), books, poetry, art, music, aesthetic posts… anything I like, really. Too much to list here… just scroll and you’ll see, I guess!
I will also inevitably start posting about my art, writing, and OCs- the skills in question, I’ve desired to cultivate but have woefully neglected and therefore they are incredibly underdeveloped. I mostly write and create art as a way to process trauma, my emotions, and how darkness and light commingle to create life as we know it… stuff like that, so it’ll definitely be heavy at times. I’ll make sure to add TWs but I’m human and liable to miss things. If I do, please let me know and I’ll try to accommodate where possible! My OCs vary, some have a collective theme, some don’t, some are from a few (more than I'd like) stories that I’m slowly trying to figure out. I hope you enjoy getting to know them as much as I do! Please ask me questions about them if you’re curious, I love talking about and developing my characters and fleshing them out. Unexpected questions can help me understand my characters in new ways, and help me write them better too! I'll be making little intro posts for each of the more developed ones, probably sooner rather than later.
Touching more on the agnostopagan thing- I like to read Tarot and Oracle cards for myself for fun, and have a small alter dedicated to the changing seasons that I decorate mainly with corresponding cards from my different Tarot and Oracle decks... I also collect playing card decks. Among (many) other things. I'm 1/8 Alaskan Native, of the Raven moiety, so my mom teases me about my eclectic collections and decorations- many of which are shiny or sparkly in some way. My heritage is another reason I like to stay in touch with the seasons and cycle of the year. Expect my blog to follow suit- I'll likely change it seasonally, or as my mood changes.
This being a personal blog, I will of course end up posting personal things, so expect this to be a dumping ground for my stress and anxiety. Along with being AuDHD, I’m depressed, and have been for most of my life. I also have PTSD and OCD. Due to personal history which resulted in severe trust issues, I’m somewhat of an antisocial butterfly- cringe, I know, but whatever. I don’t have any friends, and speak to exactly three people with any regularity. Thus I can guarantee that I will be posting almost every thought that enters my head that I can’t say to the three people I talk to (my parents and my therapist…). If you’re pitying me, please don’t, I’m actually really satisfied with my (lack of a) social life right now. I spent far too much time investing far too much of myself into people who didn’t care at all, and it figuratively broke me. I’m taking the time to put myself back together in the way that I want to be, and investing time in myself so that I can heal. I’m not wholly the victim, as well, so I am trying to unlearn my own toxic traits in order to be an at least slightly better person today than I was yesterday. I’m making a lot of mistakes along the way but hoping I’m learning from them.
Also, my personal posts will inevitably include my personal thoughts about gender and how I relate to it. Being “gender fucked in the head” as I so like to call it, I’ll be posting a lot about my gender identity and my struggles to figure it out. AGAB is female and I’m currently publicly out as non-binary but privately realizing I’m most likely transmasc, so… yeah. I’ll try to tag that stuff too.
Btw- if you see me following you and think you might recognize me/that we might’ve been mutuals, you might be right! I left without warning earlier this year, deleting my blog along with all my other social media. I needed a break and was going through some mental health stuff that made me want some space. But I’m back, and doing a lot better!
Wow, I talk a lot… anyways, I hope you enjoy your day/night/whatever time it is for you, and enjoy your stay on my blog!
ヾ(￣▽￣) Bye~Bye~
#intro post#blog intro#introductory post#introducing myself#pinned post#introduction#long post#wow I did not mean to type all that but yea
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Oh the vampire lore in my universe isn't something I'm well versed on, I was an outcast, however I don't think I ever stole children ^^” /lh, nbr
By incomprehensible horrors I moreso meant like, as Ula D I was.. To put it simple, bloodthirsty and power hungry. But I was also a shapeshifter and I suspect that led me to hiding in the dark and ambushing things (hence my latest moodboard on my nonhuman sideblog). The vampires in my universe didn't like me because of my appearances so unfortunately I could never speak on the behalf of vampire lore, especially since I wasn't fully a vampire either.
ohhhhhhhh ok that makes more sense and i LOVE learning lore ab my moots
but yea moodboards centered around those types if things sound great, if it helps you feel more comfy in who you are! /gen
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1/17/24 - unceremonious introduction
Hey, howdy, i'm here to post about my in-progress visual (..kinetic...) novel! Scawwy.
> who tf are you?!
I'm Lyova :) also known as @/smokycinnamonroll (my main blog) but i have like 5 million sideblogs and tbh sometimes compartmenting blogs is fun.
> owo kinetic novel?
Yea i like writing or at least the idea of writing. It is happening slowly.
it's about a detective (Jihae) and her sidekick (Pasha). Jihae hates magic, which is a new and strange discovery by one Hope Green. (Magic can do cool asplodes you things so its understandable i suppose). Jihae is also convinced Hope is planning something, as the general public do not, as yet, know about the asplodes you properties! So mysteries! (Jihae is maybe a bit too convinced though.)
... thank you for reading my summary i hope it was entertaining if not enlightening 👍
So, recently I opened up renpy, loaded my main script file, and wrote the entirety of my second chapter! Wow!! And today i said "hm I do want to finish this thing Eventually" and opened vim to work on my Third Ever Chapter.
... i am not sure what should be in my Third Ever Chapter. Well, I *do* have a loose plot I wrote out back when I was working on the first chapter (theres a lot going on lol) but its VERY loose.
See, in my head, the story is mostly ch1 - ??? - ch End - profit. The ??? Needs filled in so that the end makes sense! Obviously I have a plot and some ideas, since I already planned it out, it's just... not very detailed, at all. Especially for the second and third chapters...
Part of the problem is that I've already cut down on the Story Events by a LOT - if I take out these chapters I feel like I'll be losing out on some important character moments that inform later events... but on the other hand, somehow i feel my writing is very sparse as it is, so maybe there's not that much to lose?
I'll probably just sit down & write some kind of first draft anyways - the more time that passes, the more I just want the project to be done already, and technically I've hardly even started! XD
So, I'll let this blog maybe motivate me to put in a real commitment. & try to post more while I'm at it!
Until next post,
~ Lyova
#long post#colored text#small text#vn dev#renpy#my previous posts are all Old btw if youre looking at this blog i am a different man now (lying) (only minorly different)#btw abt the time thing this will soon have been a project for FIVE YEARS#so you can imagine the kind of time ive spent thinking about non-middle of plot things
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yea this is my main
my sideblogs are where im most active :thumbsup:
not too sure what ill be putting here but I'm thinking maybe fandom stuff (not sideblog oriented) and wip art
#just in case- yes i did change this blogs url#this will be a pinned yippiee#major tag rambler btw#my mind is so blank right now I forgot what iwanted to put on this post
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Hi yeah so I just tried to get the stupidest name possible buut yea.
I'm Normal/Foolish, either or works.
He/Him and They/Them. If I go inactive for a bit just put Was/Were it'll be funny I promissseeeee
Various ocs n stuff. Again I follow from @iamverynormalaboutocs . this is a sideblog so its a little less exciting but I will send anon asks with my url in them.
Probably wont post for a bit. Mainly bc my phone decides to revolt randomly and I lose access to posting/changing photos bc it crashes the app trying to pull them up.
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a johnzazel wedding special (john/azazel, T, 1k)
AN: i wrote this in an hour and a half this morning and barely read over it.
~
The heavy, ornate brass doors open, and John steps into the celebration hall.
His heart is light, about three steps above where it ought to be. This is the greatest day of his life. For the first time, he is about to be married to his true love — someone he’d never have thought he’d come to love in the first place: Azazel, Prince of Hell.
One deal-sealing kiss in a hospital basement does bring a lot of reconsiderations in the lives of a demon noble and a veteran hunter. John remembers the handyman’s lips against his, exchanging his soul for his son’s life, and realizing with cold clarity what all this years-long’s search had been about.
While he was tracking demonic omens across the United States, finding reliable psychics and hoodoo priests through word-of-mouth, journaling obsessively about his search — he’d wanted Azazel. He’d thought it was deep-seated hate all along. But kissing him… Kissing Mary never felt like that. It felt evident, sensible, sure. Kissing the demon, though, felt like a choice, a want. He’d chosen to pursue him all these years with the intent to kill him. He’d chosen to exchange his life for his son’s. And now, he’d chosen to love Azazel.
(Later, after they’d been together a while, Azazel would tell him that he’d similarly felt stunned by his soul, its strength and beauty. That had been enough to make him reconsider his allegiances. And, well. If they hadn’t been engaged then, John would have proposed again.)
The hall’s ceiling is tall, gothic. John and his fiancé had decided against a church, to ease their guest’s attending. Not that John loved his groom’s guests that much. If it were up to him, he’d have had a smaller wedding — intimate, just closer friends and family, some of Azazel’s higher-ranking aides if they must attend. This moment is too important in his life for him to broadcast it to so many. Alas, Hell is about politics, and Azazel wouldn’t skip an opportunity to solidify his standing as important as this one. Well. John loves him. It’s fine. It’s worth it.
He looks for his sons on the left-hand side. He does feel slightly guilty that the mission for which he raised them as warriors ended, well, this way. But this is the outcome that feels the most right to him. Revenge for a lost love ending with a found love — nothing’s more poetic than that.
Dean’s taking a swig out of his flask. It pinches John’s heart that it’s so hard for him to be happy for his father and the man his father loves, be it homophobia or rancor. (John did propose to Azazel at Dean’s “wedding” to his car. In John’s defense, he had no idea it was even a “wedding”. And the idea of getting “married” to a car is simply preposterous.) Sam’s holding Dean’s shoulder in support, but also searching for his father’s gaze. He’s been so gracious about this whole thing. John feels, not for the first time, a tiny bit guilty about their fraught past.
Sam’s girlfriend Ruby sits beside him, arms crossed, a bit surly. Azazel and John had to kill Lilith much earlier than planned to avoid that whole Apocalypse thing, which would’ve foiled their honeymoon plans. At least she and Sam reconciled after he learned she’d lied to him this whole time. He’s holding her around the waist with his other arm.
John and Sam cross gazes. Sam offers silent congratulations, encouragement, blessings. John nods once in answer, and tries not to show how touched he is. The small smile Sam forms tells him he failed.
Rufus and Bobby are there. They’re far apart on their pew, which tells John they’ve been fighting again. At least they’re putting on a polite face for the ceremony, and John appreciates they’ll wait until the reception to make a scene. Their third, a demon named Crowley, isn’t there. He’s had beef with enough demons in this room that attending would probably be a suicide mission for him. John understands.
He throws a quick glance to Azazel’s side of the aisle. Some of his kids are there — Meg and Tom he knows best. He knows that for a while Meg and Dean were trying to break him and Azazel up, but of course hadn’t succeeded. Someone sits between the siblings but isn’t looking back — by the trench coat, probably Dean’s angel. John feels emotional that he even would think to attend.
Mary’s not here. It’s fine. She’d told him it’d be too hard for her, but she wished them her best. John understood. He’s not sure he’d be able to see her tie the knot with Dagon. Azazel told him about Heaven’s plan to bring them together through Cupids and such, a while after they’d begun dating — he’d just found out, from torturing angels to find Lilith. John had told Mary, who was back somehow, and their attraction to each other faded. Now, that whole relationship, which had felt so glorious and precious at the time, left him a bitter taste in the mouth. He wasn’t too sure what he’d seen in her in the first place.
But he knew what he saw in Azazel.
He stands up straight at the altar, in a red tuxedo over his handyman’s shell, overjoyed underneath his usual composure. John knows he’s the only person in the room who’s able to read this expression, that it is meant for him and no one else, and his heart bursts with love again.
He loves this man. They are meant to be together, and they’re getting married.
And just like that, he’s at the end of the altar. Enlisted demons at the back of the hall close the excerpt from a concerto they’d been instructed to play, and stay silent. John stands across from Azazel, before the altar. Garth begins his reading from a text Azazel insisted was foundational to demons. John trusts him. He can’t listen to the verses. Azazel’s eyes are pretty as always — clouded, sulphuric yellow. He could look into them forever — and from now he’ll be able to.
John takes his groom’s hands. His heart is six steps above where it’s supposed to be.
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