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elliethesuperfruitlover · 3 years

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yes i did this during my lunch break (and in english)

General:

How long will they last? - Mm, if not lifelong than like a good amount of years. They occasionally also see other people though (poly coded)

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - T had to think about actually dating Klaus before getting into it. She looked into his past, everything. She didn’t want to be hurt. Klaus, however was like “mm, personality, shes pretty, smart, im in.”

How was their first kiss? - It was pleasant, it was random, after T met Klaus’ siblings. It wasn’t out of nowhere, but she was like :Thank you for introducing me to your broken family. *smooch*”Casual, but not casual.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Klaus did. It wasn’t big either, he was just like “do weddings appeal to you?” and she’s always been on the fence about getting married, but she figured to might as well do it.

Who is the best man/men? - Klaus had Diego as his best man actually.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - T had her mom as her maid of honor.

Who did the most planning? - They both did equal planning. They’d talk it over and everything, but T likes to have everything exact, so she looked over everything, over and over until she found it fine enough.

Who stressed the most? - Klaus, actually. T enjoys putting things in order, and planning, but Klaus was worried about how everything would go. He wanted to make sure everything went right, and that most of all, T was happy.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. It was a forest wedding, so kinda big, but small enough as to where it felt special.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?- Anyone that even remotely made T feel uncomfortable. If they were gonna cause issues, they can do it elsewhere. The trees didn’t want to hear arguing. (her one aunt who didn’t want her marrying a white man)

Sex:

Who is on top? - Topazi Um, they’re both switches, but it honestly depends on the mood. If one of them had a rough day, then the other would be the top.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Either of them, it depends.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now. One look and the clothes are off (or on they’re kinky fucks)

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head. T’s fairly kinky, and so is Klaus, so they combine it to create just *sighs*. Their closets have a specific section for sex toys, spicy clothes.

How long do they normally last? - It depends. If they start when they’re high energy, it’ll be for longer, but if it’s later in the day, or after work, it’s for less time. an hour or so.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Mm, sometimes. If T gets frustrated with herself, and she might be in a bit of a tizzy, Klaus’ll step in and she’ll focus on his pleasure instead of her own. But T usually has more than Klaus, usually 2 more.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. If the mood calls for it, Topazi won’t hesitate to absolutely ruin Klaus. She really likes it rough, and so does Klaus, but they like being gentle every now and then.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory. T is touch oriented, and rarely ever doesn’t want to be touched in some way. She wants all of the hugs during aftercare, and Klaus is very happy to give it to her.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - None. T thought about having kids, but she doesn’t trust her body, or herself, so she just doesn’t do it.

How many children will they adopt? - They have pets. (a snake and two kitties)

Who is the stricter parent? - T. She’ll be like “Miko, I told you not to jump off the counter.” but Klaus is like “let him be, he’s just a little shaken up.” but no like water bottles, just a mild scolding.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - T used to do a lot of cooking, but Klaus also tag teams her. Especially if it’s a huge meal.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Klaus won’t do oatmeal, or anything mushy. But T is like “if this even looks wrong, I’m not eating it.” It doesn’t matter who cooks it though, she’ll eat from anyone, but if something looks or tastes different than how she’s used to eating it, she’ll eat some out of respect, but in the end may just get more safe things like water, fruit etc.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both of them. T writes the list (bc she’s very detailed), and they both get half of the list and tag-team. But T has told Klaus what’s safe, what’s not, all that.

How often do they bake desserts? - Almost every weekend. They’re both a bit impulsive, Klaus more than T, so they have an entire fridge dedicated to baking items.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - T rarely ever eats red meat, and Klaus’ll eat anything, so it’s a big mix between the two of them. She tries to get everything balanced, then she gets cravings and everything is thrown out of the window.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Klaus. He likes repaying T, and whenever T tries to do something nice, something pops up and she can’t. It’s also best for him to do tiny things, not big things, so she doesn’t feel like it’s a competition between the two of them.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Klaus. Topazi wants to go out and everything, and she’s impulsive, but never really does anything about it.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Klaus because he almost fucked the kitchen up when he was high and forgot to put his blunt out (the paper towels caught fire, yada yada)

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - T does a lot of cleaning. Not that she feels like she has to, she just enjoys it, plus it gives her a sense of completion.

Who is really against chores? - Klaus sometimes. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, they usually just creep up on him when he really doesn’t want to do them.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Both of them do it equally. Klaus moreso than T though, because one wrong inhale and she’s ill.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Klaus. He can forget about something and it’s just gone. His object permanence is shitty.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Neither of them. T likes company, and people over, but she does try to make sure no naughty things are left out for people to see.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - T almost threw it away, (it was balled up), but she was like “hmm my brain is trying to tell me something” so she was like “oh hells yeah money”

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Depends, but mostly Klaus, because he does his thinking in the shower (like his dad). T, however, knows she’s gonna look like a fucking cherry when she gets out, and she needs to keep her skin not flaky.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Um-. If they had a dog, it would be either one of them, but Klaus more often than T, because when she’s painting or gardening, she can’t be bothered to focus on anything other than what she’s doing at that moment.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Very lack-luster. For xmas, they have a tree, but T puts stupid shit around the house. For Easter, she painted an egg pink and labeled it as “the easter bunny’s left testicle” and for Halloween, they have a spooky corner. She can’t do pranks though, she understands them, but she’ll scream then immediately kick to defend herself.

What are their goals for the relationship? - T wants to enjoy what life she has with Klaus. She just wants someone to love her and keep her company.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Both of them. Topazi likes cuddles, and sometimes the sleep is so good you have to just stay down. Plus, she’s her own boss, and their animals are smarter than they initially thought, but if she hears the fucking snake tank open, her eyes are wide fucking open.

Who plays the most pranks? - Even though she gets a bit frustrated from them, T likes to do cute pranks. You know those toys that you throw and they stick to something, she’ll do those. And Klaus throws like sticky tack at the wall. Those she can handle. But she doesn’t understand the purpose of someone fake sneezing on her. (like me, please dont do that shit, i dont like it)

#topazi marshall

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clownao · 4 years

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Hear me out- AssClass Open World Video Game

Whaaaat?

Listen, I know AssClass has/ had several video games, and the mobile one was centered around… cards I think? (I got into AssClass after the game shut down RIP.) But imagine… open world AssClass game… set in Kunugigaoka… where you can create your own character… and you can befriend all of the 3-E kids (and maybe even the teachers/ some main campus students)… plus skill trees… different stat points that you can allocate to build your character… lessons… different weapons… different assassinations… just IMAGINE. The P O T E N T I A L.

Okay I have many unrealistic thoughts about this idea so I just had to vomit them all out. This is a long post. You have been warned.

Character Creation

Like the premise of half of the AssClass Wattpad fics, you can create your own character/ 3-E student! You can customize hair colour, eye colour, hairstyle, etc. To prevent OP assassins, MC will be a normal student at Kunugigaoka who had been dropped down to 3-E because of 1) poor grades or 2) violation of school rules.

I think it would be nice if the player could choose the reason why MC was sent to 3-E. If they chose “poor grades”, MC would have a lower INT stat and have a harder time in lessons/ exams. If they chose “violation of school rules”, while MC would have the default INT stat, they would have a harder time befriending the other students due to their negative reputation.

I think some sort of RPG style stat point allocation would be fun, with basics such as STR, AGI, VIT, and INT. As MC levels up, they gain more stat points. STR of course boots raw power, AGI for speed, VIT for stamina I guess, and maybe INT for increased chances of critical attacks?

Gameplay

There are two parts- the main quest, and the sidequests. Obviously the main quest is the plot of AssClass, while the sidequests can be cutesy little ways to increase your bonding/ friendship with the 3-E kids.

I think in this hypothetical game, there would be roughly 365 in-game days to correspond with the time 3-E spent with Korosensei. For every day in the game, the player would have to complete certain necessary tasks. Once the tasks are completed, they can either choose to do sidequests/ other stuff, or move on to the next day. Some of the days are plot relevant, such as the day of Irina’s first appearance, the day of the Island Assassination etc., but for most days, the player can do whatever they want.

It would be interesting to see how this game would do weekends and holidays. Why am I phrasing it as if it’s ACTUALLY real. :P I guess MC can go out to town and meet up with their friends? And they definitely need to train for the Island Assassination during the summer holidays.

The Best of Both Worlds

Assassination Classroom is not only about assassination- it’s also about education. And this game will show both sides of 3-E.

Studying

The INT stat of MCs will contribute to this side of the game. I’m thinking there might be three compulsory lessons (taught by Korosensei/ Irina) and maybe one training session per day (at least, per schoolday). Like maybe the lessons will be mini-quizzes or mini-games or something, and after a lesson is successfully completed, MC gains XP and knowledge, which can then be used in… assassinations, I guess? And of course the knowledge will be used for clearing exam levels. The more knowledge MC has, the easier time they have with exams and assassinations. The INT stat affects how much knowledge MC can gain in one lesson.

Test and exams are sort of like mini-bosses and bosses in the game. Since AssClass portrays exams as some sort of actual boss fight, it would be fun to do that in the game as well. Maybe a higher knowledge level allows you to choose more powerful “weapons” to bring into the “arena” (aka. exams).

Assassination

The STR, AGI and VIT stats would contribute to the assassination part. A skill tree sounds COOL, especially with the wide range of skills the 3-E kids have. Like maybe at the beginning, only knife skills and shooting skills are unlocked, but as the game progresses, MC can choose between camouflage/ combat/ traps/ infiltration and more!

MC can train their skills during compulsory daily training sessions (taught by Karasuma) and optional afterschool practices. It would be nice if the training session can somehow focus on different skills on different days (?). It would also be WACK if there’s a shooting arcade in Kunugigaoka Town or something so MC can train during the holidays.

And now for the exciting part! ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS! :D :D

I’ve tried to keep things simple, but I feel like I’ve oversimplified assassinations lol :P So there are three parts to a basic attempt- 1) Distract 2) Attack 3) Critical Hit. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Distract Korosensei using something, attack him to disorient him and block his path, and the final critical killing blow. All three parts are necessary.

(Of course there are different sorts of attempts- like poisoning, but those are special cases.)

Assassination attempts can be made easier if the player has the right information- such as information on Korosensei’s weaknesses. The player can also choose the weapon(s) and the item(s) that will distract Korosensei.

Of course none of the attempts actually succeed (because Korosensei has plot armour), so maybe the game can judge the assassination attempt using other methods (damage dealt, stamina left or something?)

MC uses stamina to activate skills. When all of their stamina runs out, they fail the attempt and they do not get any rewards.

While MC can attempt solo assassinations, it’s best if they find some friends (more on that later). Group assassinations require a certain amount of friendship between the participants because cooperation is necessary. Assassinations can only be attempted once a day, and they reward the player with XP, knowledge, and maybe experience to upgrade their skills.

The Main Quest

Basically all the canon stuff you see in the manga and anime. Maybe cutscenes can be used lol. While compulsory activities (lessons, training sessions) and optional activities (assassinations, afterschool practices) are available every schoolday, plot-relevant days will force the MC to participate in events like exams, whole-school assemblies, or assassinations. While MC can react to the events, they cannot change the main plot no matter how much they try. Korosensei still has to die. Sorry :P

Sidequests

Quests that can increase your friendship level with the 3-E kids. And maybe they can give out special items. Like perhaps after completing a sidequest with Sugaya, not only do you get closer to Sugaya, you can also unlock the “camouflage” skill or something.

Friendships

It would be ideal if you can like, befriend ALL OF THE 3-E KIDS. I actually thought a lot about this.

MC’s Friends

Maybe MC has like five friend slots or something, which can be filled up with NPCs (3-E kids) after a certain friendship level is reached. These “MC’s friends” will form a squad of sorts and will sit with MC during lunch, go out with MC during holidays etc. They can also cooperate much better during assassinations.

Reputation

If MC behaves well, their reputation increases, and they get more friendship XP through each interaction. Vice-versa when MC behaves badly. If the player chooses “violation of school rules” as the reason why MC was dropped into 3-E, they will automatically start off with a low reputation.

Friendship level

MC can talk to NPCs and react correspondingly to get friendship XP and increase their reputation. Some NPCs are easier to approach, like Isogai and Kataoka. You gain more friendship XP compared to the default amount. Others, like Chiba and Hayami, are very introverted, so you gain less friendship XP per interaction. You can give gifts to NPCs. You can even give birthday gifts if you know when their birthday is. Through interactions, MC can gain knowledge of the NPCs, such as their favourite colour, food, etc, and give them presents which correspond to their likes.

If MC reacts negatively, they will lose friendship XP and reputation.

Maaaaybe there can be different levels like “Classmates” “Acquaintances” “Groupmates” “Partners” “Friends” “Close Friends” and “Best Friends”. And maybe even “Rivals” and “Enemies” if MC insults them LMAO.

When a friendship is maxed out, the classmate gives MC something special. It could be a weapon, or an accessory, or a book that can increase knowledge or something.

Established Friendships

The 3-E kids already have friendships of their own! And if you befriend a 3-E kid, it’ll be easier/faster to befriend that student’s friends. For example, if you befriend Yada, it’ll be way easier to befriend Kurahashi. The same happens if you insult a 3-E kid. If you insult Hayami, you won’t find a very friendly Chiba anytime soon.

Group Assassinations

In order to be able to recruit a classmate into a group assassination, MC needs to have a certain level of friendship with them. The recruited classmate can have special skills, like increased speed for Kimura, infiltration skills for Yada, close combat skills for Karma etc, which can be very useful. I think being friends with Nagisa also gives you special insight into Korosensei’s weakness. The higher the friendship level, the better the group will work.

For example, you can have Kurahashi perform the Distraction, MC and Kataoka Attack, and Chiba perform the Critical Hit. Or maybe MC can train up their skills and perform the critical hit themselves.

Romances???

I have NO idea how this would work??? It would probably fuck up the canon crushes/ relationships lol. It’ll probably require a maxed out friendship.

Kunugigaoka Town

MC gets to hang out in town!! Yeeeeee

There are different shops in town which can be used to buy gifts/ supplies for assassinations.

MC can visit shops/ eat with classmates to gain friendship XP after school/ during weekends and holidays.

NOTE: THEY ALL REQUIRE MONEY

MC probably receives some pocket money every week/month. They may also earn money from other places (such as jobs)????? Maybe they can convince Isogai to give them a discount? Lmaoo.

(Maxed out friendship with Muramatsu definitely allows you to eat at his family’s shop for free :D)

Maaaybe there’s a gym/ shooting arcade that allows MC to train outside of school.

Anyways I’m tired, this is all I have for today. If you’ve managed to come this far, thanks for reading this chaotic mess of an idea dump :D (Sorry for the weird phrasing and sentence structures ;-;) I’m definitely not an expert with video game terminology, and if anyone has something to add, please do so! :D

#assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #korosensei #3-e #video game #nao's 2am thoughts

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arielleyoga-blog1 · 5 years

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Positivity

When I first decided I wanted to write a blog, I asked my instagram buddies what topic’s they’d like to hear about. And one that I got more than once was “How are you always so positive?”

Which was surprising to read more than once, as well as flattering. One of my friends, who I think is the bubbliest sweetest angel on earth specifically said “Even when you’re having a hard day or going through a tough time you’re so positive and joyful. How?!”

And it got me thinking...am I actually that positive of a person? And if so, just like they asked...how? I think the first part has to do with my natural disposition: I have always been a super sweet kid. I always cared about other people, and animals (animals more duh), and have ever since I was little really seen the good in everyone and wanted the best. That’s definitely just part of who I am, I think. However, it’s not all of who I am.

I mentioned in my last blog that I suffered from clinical depression in college. Before that, when I was young I had some body image issues and eating issues. I’ve always had issues feeling confident: in fact, this blog is really REALLY hard and scary for me. I just don’t feel like anyone cares. My mind instantly goes to “Why would anyone care? Who am I? I’m not special.” While it’s natural for me to see the good in others, it is also natural for me to see the not-good in myself. So the jump from that to depression took one thing: the death of my friend Scott Preston.

Scott and I met freshman year in high school and we just clicked. We were definitely an odd pair of friends, but I saw the good in him and loved him very much. He ended up leaving our school, but we stayed in touch and I’d go hang out with him sometimes at lunch or after school on the days I had my mom’s car.

Scott smoked pot a lot: but so did a lot of my friends. I didn’t...yet. So it wasn’t a big deal or alarm for me. Scott also, like me, got migraines. So, one day when we were hanging out after I had surgery on my hand, he asked for my extra vicodin. Again, being the sweet-seeing the best in people-young girl that I was, I didn’t even think about it. Plus he said it was for his migraines. I gave him the vicodin.

A week later, his dad came in and yelled at him about his grandmother’s medication being missing. After his dad walked out, he admitted he was taking her meds from her. All I could muster up was “Scott, you shouldn’t do that. You should be careful.” And about a month later, he crashed his Dodge Ram into a tree almost killing himself and his friend. He went into rehab and I just kept waiting to call. Feeling responsible somehow. My feelings of guilt for not saying more kept me from calling. And my need to be liked and not upset people is what kept me from saying more that afternoon when I had the chance.

I talked about him to my new college friends, and really was planning on calling him soon. And then, I got a phone call that Scott was dead. And I took it all on as my fault. I became incredibly depressed and was in danger of seriously hurting myself. I got help, saw a therapist who sent me to a psychiatrist and got put on medication. Then more medication. Which made me numb. But not depressed. When I smoked pot it brought me up enough that I was my old self. But I didn’t want to be taking antidepressants and smoking pot to feel normal. So, I made the decision when I ran out of meds to just not renew my prescription knowing that the chances of my depression coming back was pretty much 100%.

And guess what? I was right, I relapsed. And something else happened in my life that was pretty terrible. But I remember that when that second event occurred I said “Losing Scott took me to a dark place, and I will not give this other person the honor to mean as much to me as Scott did and pull me back. I’ll get through this.” I talked A LOT about my feelings. I journaled. I did yoga. And I let myself cry when I wanted to. Eventually, I came up for air. I personally give yoga all the credit: But I think my willpower had a lot to do with it too.

Ever since then, it truly has been a “It’s not worth it to go back there” mentality to me. I know what it’s like to want to end it, I know what it’s like to hurt yourself, I know what it’s like to live in this dark cloud where you feel nothing but sad and empty. And life is too short to live that way.

So how do I stay positive? Well, I constantly focus on the things I HAVE!

We live in a culture that thrives off of us being in a “lack” mentality. Like sheep. “I don’t have time” is usually the thought when we wake up. I don’t have energy, I don’t have enough money, I’m not skinny enough...when I make this much money or have this phone or this car...blah blah bullshit. YOU HAVE SO MUCH.

I always focus on the gifts of my life: which truly are plentiful. I’m healthy. I have use of my limbs. I can breathe without machines. I live in a country that for the most part allows me as a woman to LIVE (right now some horrible stuff is happening in the South and Midwest) but: I was able to get an education. I went to the top public college in the country UCLA, thanks to loans that I’m still paying off, grants, and work study. I work hard and I am grateful I get to work. I get to vote. I can wear whatever I want. I have a strong amazing mom that supports me even when she doesn’t agree with me. My list goes on!

And when things have gotten bad: like when my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and my whole world came crumbling down, I found a way through. I cried, I was scared. I journaled and I prayed and I thanked God for finding it early and for giving us the opportunity to get her healthy. I focused not on my fear or her cancer, but on her recovery even before we knew if that was a thing. I was thankful I had friends that I could call when she told me so they could rally around me for support. That bought groceries and meals for us, that helped ME get through it: because as an only child of a single parent it was a lot to handle. It’s a lot to handle no matter what: it’s cancer. I was thankful that I had the ability to work through my fear and sadness at my job. Teaching yoga helped me, and even more so being able to talk with my students about it: in fact, one class two of my student’s asked me straight up what was going on: Mellisa and Heather. And they both had dealt with very similar things and were there for me. What a blessing! Now, every time...okay, not EVERY, but almost every time I get frustrated or annoyed with my mom, I remind myself that I’d rather her be here alive and healthy to drive me nuts than for her to be gone. I’m so grateful she’s cancer-free now! Oh moms!

I focus on the good. It’s a HABIT you have to cultivate, like working out and eating well. BUT it makes it so when you get in a car accident: you’re grateful it wasn’t worse. So when you’re in traffic: you’re grateful you have a vehicle and a place to go. When somebody is a dick: you’re grateful you aren’t them and don’t treat people like that.

Things can ALWAYS be worse. And for me, they have been. So what a gift it is to have this moment, and to choose to focus on how fortunate I am and how much I have.

I make a conscious decision to live life through a lens of gratitude and abundance, not of lacking. You can do that, too! I know the best way to start, is to every single day think of 5 things you’re thankful for. You can do it in the morning in bed, or before bed in a gratitude journal, OR BOTH! Also: tell your friend’s you appreciate them out of the blue. When you put that good out there, it comes back to you!

And that doesn’t mean I don’t get sad or mad. But when I do, I just let that happen. I feel it, because that’s important. I’ll usually vent to my husband or one of my best friends. And then eventually, I breathe and let it go and focus on the good. It’s not always easy. There are times where my mind is like “yes I know this could be worse...” but my heart is still upset. But eventually, you get there.

Also, sometimes, I think of a friend I’ve lost-like the amazing Laura Allio. And if I’m about to complain about something, I remember how much I wish she were alive to be able to bitch about it...and also that she wouldn’t. And that it’s a gift to even be able to complain, or move my body when I’m tired, to have a job to have to go to...yada yada. And that will get me right back on track.

My mom always used to say to me growing up (because she had quite an emotional daughter that cried a lot) “Is this going to bother you in 3 days? In 3 weeks? In 3 months? THEN LET IT GO!’ lol And she's right. As mom’s tend to be. Most of the things we get SO bogged down by, don't affect us a few days later. So why let it taint the day you’re living now? Another thing I did that was SO helpful with journaling are mantra meditations. So I pick a few mantra’s I like and I play some binaural beats from youtube. I sit with my eyes closed. I inhale, and on my exhale I say the mantra. Sometimes out loud. Sometimes in my head. Certain mantras will INSTANTLY create a smile. Here are some of my favorites:

“I deserve love.”

“I am the light.”

“My income is constantly increasing.”

“I allow my life to move with ease and joy.”

If you haven't heard of Louise Hay, I HIGHLY SUGGEST looking her up. One of her go-to’s is to say “I love you (enter your name here)” while looking in the mirror. She has an amazing little book called “Heal your body” where she gives you mantras for actual ailments your body! It’s AMAZING! I’m thankful for you. For your support. For your time. For reading this. For being here in the world. Remember to choose to look at how abundant you are! I mean, you’re reading a blog on the internet right now! WHAT IS THAT?! There are people in this world that don’t even have clean water, not to mention the ability to sit somewhere (because so help me god if you are driving I will come after you) and read a blog post about positivity!

Thank you thank you!

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maevefiction · 6 years

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Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 11

More than a week had elapsed since my last yoga session, and I was pleasantly surprised at my lack of stiffness. My iPod sat silent in the grass next to my mat…the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks proved to be the only music I required. Especially at six in the morning. The sun had just begun to rise behind us, its warmth exacerbating the flush my workout normally provided.

Simon’s skill level was far, far above mine, and some of the poses he worked through made me stop dead in my tracks as I admired the way his body seemed to defy the very laws of physics. He volunteered to work with me whenever we had the time, and I gratefully accepted, though I fully understood that a grace such as his was something that couldn’t be taught.

We chatted while cooling down, learning that our birthdays were only a day apart, his on October 30th, mine on October 31st. He found my being a Halloween baby hilarious, and I was tickled that we shared the same astrological sign. Fellow Scorpios - no wonder he’d liked my tank top. I tried to get him to reveal his birth year, but he adamantly refused until I offered mine up first. The look of delight on his face as he screeched out ‘me too!’ was adorable, and when he high-fived me and christened me his sister from another mister I embraced him and kissed his cheek, grinning at the lovely blush it caused.

I took a seat at the patio table and opened my laptop with the intention of starting work on Tom’s website design. Simon sat next to me, both of us facing the ocean, and he began typing away on his phone. He harrumphed and gave me some wicked side eye.

My brow furrowed. “For fuck’s sake, what NOW?”

He showed me his screen, scrolling through his inbox. “Seven more since last night. You’ve made an awful lot of extra work for me, woman.” I rolled my eyes. He turned on his chair to face me. “I’m curious, though…I thought you just lectured to and consulted with PR firms, which would mean their actual clients wouldn’t know much about you at all. So, it’s kinda surprising that an artist would be willing to jump ship and leave their current rep in the dust to wind up where you are, wouldn’t you say?”

I sighed and finished editing my open layer in Photoshop before replying. “I started out working directly with clients. My first was Anne Rice. She’s is a family friend and was willing to give me a cha…”

He put a hand on my shoulder and shoved. “GET. OUT. I’m assuming this means you’re from or lived in New Orleans at some point? But it mustn’t have been for long, because you have zero accent.”

“Your assumption is correct. Born there, raised there, relocated to New York City in 1998.”

He nodded emphatically. “So you dumped the accent. Understandable.”

It was my turn for side eye. “I didn’t dump it. It just…faded.”

He snorted. “Whatever you say, Maude.”

I pinched his arm, reveling in the resulting squeal he emitted. “Faded. I’m like a chameleon with accents. Soon I’ll be picking up your dialect and sounding like a pretentious asshat, too. In which case, you have my permission to kill me.”

“You can call me anything you like as long as you solemnly swear to take me to Mardi Gras next year.”

I rolled my eyes and held up my hand, palm towards him. “Simon. Please. I don’t think you’re ready for that sort of thing. But, if you start training now, we might be able to pull it off.”

He tilted his head like an oversized puppy. “Training for what? Drinking heavily? I’ve been training for that for years.”

“No. Throwing beads into the crowd. And doing the princess wave.” I demonstrated both. “Because if we go, you must ride on a parade float. It can be arranged. I know people.” I frowned. “At least, I used to know people. Anyway, what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted was that she was my first client, and it gave me a lot of clout. For which I am eternally grateful. I moved on after three years or so with her and began working directly with clients, most of whom were too small to have a decent PR firm behind them. I did everything, created websites, set up Facebook accounts, provided instructions on how to post, when to post, what to post, yada yada. Lots of hand holding and cajoling. Word spread, and bigger names took notice, which led to PR firms hiring me to work one-on-one with their clients for a specified duration. Most of them already had websites in place, so my focus shifted entirely to social media. In early 2010, I was invited to speak for two hours at a PR conference in San Diego…they wanted me to lecture on enhancing client reputation through social media. It was winter in New York, and they were willing to pay for my travel expenses so I thought, California? Fuck it, why not?”

Simon’s legs were crossed, his upper body leaning in towards me as he listened attentively. I had paused, and he motioned for me to continue.

“So, I spoke for two hours and they handed me a check for three thousand dollars. That was more than I normally made in an entire week and it blew my tiny little mind. It seemed to be vastly less stressful than dealing with super huge egos and non-tech savvy artists and damn, the money. I adjusted my entire business model, and within a month I was turning down engagements because my calendar was full. PR firms were still asking me for assistance, so I set up a consulting procedure wherein I’d outline a plan for them to implement, collected my fee and was on my way. It was all so…easy.”

He laughed loudly. “And you decided to work for Prosper why?”

“Because my ‘easy’ job and the cash it generated had taken over my entire life. I was the job and the job was me. Much to my surprise, lecturing and consulting long term turned out to be a soul sucking bore…and it transformed me into a miserable drudge. I am, at heart, a creative individual and I missed doing graphic and website design, photography, and learning new things. Terribly. Working for Prosper allows me to do all that again, and then some. That’s why.”

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin with one hand. “And I’m sure it has nothing to do with the exquisite creature sleeping soundly in your bed right now.”

“No, it doesn’t. He was actually the reason why I seriously considered declining Luke’s offer.” Simon looked puzzled, but I didn’t elaborate. “So. Why did you leave such a prestigious position at the Dorchester to become a PA? Just for Luke? Or is there more to the story?”

He grinned. “Damn, turned it right around on me, didn’t you? Touché, my friend. I went to university for business management and administrative assistance, and worked in the field until 2005. Cooking had always been my passion, and I had some sort of spiritual awakening wherein I decided I absolutely needed to become a professional chef or else I would shrivel up and die. So I did. I moved from place to place, learning, working, partying my ass off, and finally landed the sous chef spot at the Dorchester in 2009. It was dandy at first, but as the years passed I felt like I’d grown stagnant, doing the same thing night after night, having little input on menu changes and so on. Like you, I was bored. I was averaging 70 hours a week in that kitchen, cut off from the world, and it hit me that all I had gotten out of it was a nicely padded bank account…and that there was no one to share it with. I’d always loved being around lots of people, and there I was seeing nothing but the same damn faces day in and day out. In 2013 I happened across Luke’s ad, reworked my resume, and the rest is history. Unlike you, though, I don’t think I would have taken the job if it wasn’t for him, because the salary was abysmal. As soon as I saw him, I knew. He was it. The one. Love at first sight. I thank my lucky stars every single day that he felt the same way.”

After wiping the tears from his eyes, he took hold of my hand. “Maude, I don’t know if he’s mentioned it or not, but Tom’s had a rough time of it lately, and I’m so, so happy that you’ve found each other.”

“Me too, Simon.” I smiled, letting go of his hand. “Now, please, for the love of all things holy, shut your cake hole so I can get some work done, okay?”

“God, you are such a bitch.”

“I am. And you’re still talking. Cease.”

We worked quietly, side by side, until Luke poked his head out the doors to inquire as to when Simon planned on getting his butt in the kitchen and making some breakfast. As he got up from his chair, he peered over my shoulder at my laptop screen. I had a basic layout set and was in the process of choosing a color combination that would contrast perfectly.

“Wow, that’s a right brilliant color palette you have there, Maude. Is that for Tom’s site?”

I nodded. “Does it look…familiar?”

He stared. “Yes…maybe…should it?”

I opened the tab that contained the HD photo of Tom’s eye that I’d drawn all my color options from. “Tada.”

Simon poked my shoulder and called for Luke to come see. He padded out onto the lanai, looked over my shoulder, nodded, then put his hands on his hips.

“So, when are you going to use your magic to revamp the Prosper site?”

I closed my laptop and put my head in my hands, then pushed my chair back and went to wait in the kitchen, muttering to myself about peace and solitude and how I couldn’t find any even though I was in paradise.

Tom bounded our of our bedroom just as Simon was plating our pancakes and bacon, freshly showered, wearing a pair of faded, loose fitting jeans and a tight, light blue V-neck tee. I leaned back on my bar stool and around the counter to look at his feet. Scuffed, well-worn boots. When my eyes finally made their way up to his face I was greeted with a dazzling, toothy smile. I groaned.

Simon pinched his cheeks. “Lovely of you to join us, Thomas.”

Tom lowered himself elegantly onto the stool to my right, resting his hand on my spandex-clad thigh as he leaned in to kiss me.

“Good morning, Maude. How was yoga?”

“Spectacular, actually. Simon and I had a lovely chat and I even managed to get some work done in spite of it.” He laughed and began slowly sliding his hand up my leg, edging ever closer to the apex of my thighs. Simon set our plates in front of us, raising a brow as he spied what Tom was up to.

“Um, excuse me. This is a fine dining establishment, people. No foreplay is permitted.” I glanced up from my plate and saw Luke directly behind him, hand cupping Simon’s ass.

“Whatever, asshole.” I pointed at my short stack. “Do you have syrup for these?”

He pulled a pot off the stove and spooned some of its contents onto them. “Made with fresh pineapples. Especially for you.”

All eyes were on me as they waited for a reaction. I broke off a hunk of pancake with my fork and shoved it in my mouth. “Mmm, yummy. Thank you.” Luke looked at Tom, who shrugged. I took another bite of breakfast. “Yeah, nice try, losers. I happen to like pineapples. Just not on pizza.”

Tom put his arm around my waist, pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head. “I had nothing to do with this. I swear it.”

I said nothing, ripping off a piece of bacon with my teeth instead. He tapped his fork on his plate.

“So, Maude, I was thinking…maybe we could take a ride out to Talk Story today? I called to see if Alani would be in, and she is.” I spun the stool around in his direction, dumbfounded. He smiled. “I did say I’d go back to meet her, did I not?”

“Yes. Yes you did.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “What an amazingly generous thing to do. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet. You’re going to be the one in charge of crowd control.” He stole a strip of bacon from my plate and swallowed it down before I could even muster a protest.

“I’d rather corral a group of a hundred people than have to sit next to you while I’m trying to eat a fucking meal, bacon stealer. And everything else stealer.”

He snickered, and I wolfed down the rest of my food, rinsed my dishes, put them in the dishwasher and headed for the bedroom, finally noticing that Luke and Simon had disappeared. I wrote a giant ‘thanks for breakfast’ on the chalkboard in the kitchen and drew a smiley face to go with it, figuring we wouldn’t be seeing them again before we left.

*************************************** After my much needed shower, I wound up standing in my underwear, staring into yet another wardrobe wondering what the hell to wear. Tom looked too damn good for me to get away with shorts and a T-shirt, and my black tank dress just didn’t scream ‘please behave and listen to the nice lady’. Tom was waiting patiently for me, sitting at the desk answering emails and returning calls. I looked at his boots, then back and my limited selection of dresses. The brown chiffon galaxy print sleeveless wasn’t an exact match, but pretty damn close. I pulled it off its hanger and laid it on the bed so I could unzip the back without it winding up on the floor, chastising myself for giving in to my everything-must-coordinate OCD once again. I slipped it over my head, put my arms through the proper holes and managed to zip it up on my own, then went into the bathroom to figure out a hair strategy.

I’d just wrestled it into a braid when I overheard Tom talking in the bedroom.

“How’s Los Angeles? Elsa? Kids? Good to hear. Oh, she’s unbelievable, Chris. Here, I’ll take you in and you can meet her.” He came around the corner carrying his open laptop.

“Chris Hemsworth, Maude Gallagher.” He turned the screen toward me, and there he was, Thor, God of Thunder. In my bathroom. He held up a hand in greeting.

“Hello, Maude. Nice to meet you. See you? Skype you?” He face palmed. “I have no idea what the correct terminology is.” I heard a woman yell in the background that meet was fine and for him to bring the tablet over to her so she could see me. He got up and walked into another room, and a beautiful blonde woman came into view alongside Chris. She waved madly.

“Look at you, you’re gorgeous. A natural beauty. And that dress…I am in love with it. You must tell me where you found it.” Her accent was a delight. She grinned. “I’m Elsa, by the way. Tom has told us so much about you I feel like I know you already.”

I waved at them. “Hi there. Lovely to meet you both. I’d like to say Tom has told me so much about you, but that would be a big fat lie, so suffice to say I’m sure he will tell me so much about you when we aren’t quite so…so…shit, what’s the word I’m looking for here?”

Tom moved to stand next to me, shifting the laptop so we were both visible, smirking. “Preoccupied. The word you’re looking for is preoccupied.”

They laughed, and Chris grabbed at Elsa. “Remember when we were always preoccupied?”

She slapped his hand. “Oh yes. I do. And that’s why now we’re preoccupied with three little ones, my darling Christopher.” I heard children crying in the background. Elsa said a quick goodbye and ran off, and Chris followed suit so he could assist.

Tom put the laptop on the counter and pulled me to him, hands on my ass as he pressed me up against his crotch and rammed his tongue in my mouth, then backed away quickly, leaving me panting. “Well, I guess we should get going.”

I shot him a scathing look. “We should. But I have to pee first.” He walked out into the bedroom. As I sat on the toilet, I weighed my options for getting even. I mentally high fived myself as I pulled my underwear off over my feet and left them on the bathroom floor.

*************************************** We parked a block down from Talk Story, and I scouted ahead and left Tom in the Jeep. My gladiator sandals clicked on the sidewalk as I half-jogged to my destination, anxious to see if Alani was at the desk. She was, and I texted him to come on down. He ran to meet me, and I stopped him from holding the door for me and letting me go in first.

“Nope, you should be the first thing she sees.” I had my phone all ready to go in order to capture the moment, planning on sending her a copy as a keepsake. He walked through, and she looked up as the bell dinged to announce that someone had entered the store and the look on her face was one I knew I’d remember forever. He approached her, hand extended, and I was right behind him.

“Hello, Alani. I’m Tom.” She remained motionless. He turned to me. “This is Maude. We were here on Monday, and she told me that you’re a fan of my work and would perhaps enjoy meeting me.” She nodded, gingerly lifting her arm up but unable to make herself grab his hand. He took the initiative, holding it to his lips and kissing it demurely. She squealed, so high pitched I thought my ears might bleed. Four other girls came running out of the stacks, took one look at him, and began jumping up and down, screaming, phones in hand. I stopped filming so I could set the boundaries before any issues arose, stepping between them and Tom.

“Hi, ladies. I’m Maude, Tom’s social media manager. Let’s go over some ground rules, okay?” They lowered their phones and nodded. “Tom wants to be able to take pictures, sign for and chat with all of you, but in order for him to be able to do so you need to make sure you don’t post anything to social media until after we leave the premises. No texting or calling, either. If a crowd turns up, we’ll have to cut things short, and where’s the fun in that?”

A husky, bearded, bespectacled man came out from the stacks, wearing a white and green palm leaf print Hawaiian shirt and khaki hiking shorts. “Girls, what the heck is going on up here? Why all the screaming? You know people prefer quiet when they…” He stopped short when he saw Tom, his mouth dropping open, then quickly closing as he grew closer, hand proffered. I figured he was the owner, so I let him pass.

“Aloha, Mr. Hiddleston. I’m Roger Marshal, and Talk Story is my baby. I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate your stopping by again…the girls were so bummed when they learned they’d missed you on Monday.”

Tom shook his hand vigorously. “Thank you for having me. Your establishment is outstanding…I’m a bit of a bibliophile, and if I had my druthers I’d be perusing the shelves here for days on end. My apologies for dashing off so quickly when I was in last, but I had a prior obligation and thought it better to come back when I had more time to spend.” He turned to me. “This is Maude Gallagher, my social media manager.”

I offered my hand and he clasped it gently with one of his, then placed the other on top. “Maude, nice to meet you. Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you both?”

“Actually, would you happen to have a room available that’s a bit more private?”

He nodded, then turned his attention to the desk. “Sure thing. Alani, why don’t you show our guests to the staff lunch room?” Her eyes lit up, and the faces of the rest of the staff fell. “Girls, you go too. I’ll cover the desk.” They thanked him in unison between excited giggles.

I tried to hang back behind Tom, but he slowed and fell into step with me and slipped his arm around me, hand on my lower back, whispering in my ear. “The way you jumped in and took charge did…things…to me, Maude.” His let his hand glide lower and lower, halting when he reached the spot where the waistband of my underwear should be. He felt around with his fingers, over my hip, diving quickly down into the crease of my left buttock then back up to my waist, gripping me just a smidge too hard.

I met his gaze, noting his narrowed eyes and the way his tongue darted out over and over to lick his lips. I smirked and whispered back. “Gosh, I’m sorry. I forgot to mention that I’m not wearing any panties. They sorta fell off back at the house and are lying on the bathroom floor, all alone and unloved.” The hand on my waist began to shake as we reached the staff room and he began breathing deeply as he attempted to keep his shit together. And round two of Friday’s Titillation Tease goes to…me.

Tom spent nearly two hours taking selfies, videos, signing anything the girls could get their hands on, and answering their seemingly unlimited supply of questions. The giant cup of tea I’d had on the ride over had finally hit my bladder, and I excused myself and went off in search of the bathrooms. There was only a one, unisex, located all the way on the other side of the store, tucked into an alcove deep in the stacks. Nice and roomy, too. I envisioned Tom fucking me up against the wall, then scolded myself for my blatant lack of restraint as I texted him precisely what I’d been thinking while I walked back to the staff room.

Roger had come back to check on them, which Tom took as an indicator that it was time to wrap things up. He was hugging each of the girls goodbye in turn as they left the room, saving Alaini for last. She rested her head on his chest, facing me, and mouthed ‘he smells like a FOREST’ while hugging him tightly. Up until that moment, I hadn’t been sure whether she recognized me or not. She stepped back and looked at both of us.

“This has been, like, the best day of my life. I can never thank you enough.” Her eyes shone with tears. “Would it be okay if I took a picture of you guys together?”

I smiled. “Of course. But I think it would be better if you were in it, too.” We posed, and Tom held out her phone to get the shot. I was entering my Prosper email address into her phone so she could send me a copy and she was putting hers in mine so I could send her the video from earlier when she cleared her throat.

She looked up shyly. “Um, I don’t mean to be rude or get in your business or anything, but I was just, you know, wondering…” She swallowed. “Are you guys, like, a couple?”

Tom grinned. “Is it that obvious?”

Her brow furrowed. “Well, you know, I saw what you posted on Twitter yesterday and I was like, hmm, and I know you guys work together and now seeing you in person…yeah. It’s pretty obvious, I guess.”

Tom took my hand. “Yes, Alani. Maude isn’t just my social media manager…she’s my girlfriend as well. And can I let you in on a little secret?” She nodded, awestruck. “When you saw us here on Monday, that was the very first time we met. So you played a rather important role in what turned out to be the best day of my life so far.”

I kissed his cheek. “Mine too, Alani.”

Alani flopped onto the nearest chair, clutching her hands to her chest. “That. Is. So. Romantic.” She leapt back up and hugged me. “We all want him for ourselves, but if he has to be with someone else, I’m really glad it’s you.”

I patted her on the back. “Thank you. Hearing you say that means so much…honestly, I don’t have the words to express properly how it made me feel.” We let go of each other, and she made her way back to the desk.

I turned to Tom. “I need to hit the bathroom again before we head out.” He nodded and followed my lead. He didn’t mention my text, and I assumed he hadn’t read it yet. We didn’t see another soul on the way there, and the stacks outside the alcove were deserted as well. I recalled my vision of Tom fucking me against the bathroom wall and decided this was going to be my shining moment of public indecency. I opened the door, stepped in, then turned around to face him, left eyebrow raised.

“Want to join me?” I licked my lips. He barged past me into the bathroom, fingers already working to unbuckle his belt.

“I thought you’d never ask.” I locked the door, then did a 180. He held his fully engorged cock in his right hand, stroking it, catching any drips with his left. “I do believe I need to put this somewhere immediately so I don’t make a terrible mess on the floor.”

I bit my bottom lip as I tilted my head to the side. “I think I’ve got just the place for it.”

He ceased his stroking in order to back me up against the wall, growling in my ear. “Oh yes. You most certainly do.” He bent his knees as he lifted the front of my dress up to my waist, and I wrapped my leg around his, grinding my dripping pussy against him while I rubbed my clit. He groaned, and I slipped my glistening finger into his mouth. He sucked on it, and I felt the head of his cock at my entrance and his hands cupping my ass, his full weight on me, pressing me firmly against the cool tile.

He was panting. “Put your other leg around me and your arms around my neck.” I did the latter, but scoffed at the former.

“Um, there is no way in hell you’re going to be able to hold me up.”

He leaned forward to stare into my eyes, and his expression made me whimper. “Leg. Up. Now. Please.” As I complied he sheathed himself fully. I tried to bite back a ridiculously loud moan but was only partially successful. His mouth met mine, tongues dancing around each other. He pulled back.

“Maude, my apologies, but once I start moving I fear I’m going to last all of thirty seconds. If I’m fortunate.”

I clamped down on him. He began thrusting wildly, and I focused all my energy on not coming before he did. I was doing well until he started whispering in my ear using his Loki voice.

“Give in, mortal. Come for me. I know you’ve dreamed of this, me fucking into you for all I’m worth, you pinned against the wall, unable to sway those mesmerizing hips and have your way with me as you ride my cock to find your own selfish pleasure.”

He pounded into me, almost savagely, and as he felt my walls begin to flutter he put his hand over my mouth.

“Not. A. Sound.” I came, my scream trapped beneath his hand, the wet sounds of him moving in and out of me echoing eerily off the bathroom walls. “That’s it. Look at you, coming and coming all over my cock. So, so beautiful.”

He let his hand drop, and I could feel his thrusts becoming more erratic as I stared at him, his face red, jaw clenched, the veins on his neck standing out with his exertion. His head tipped back, fingers digging into the underside of my thighs, and his entire body shuddered as he orgasmed, come spurting hot inside me. I let my legs slide down one at a time, planting my feet as firmly as I possibly could despite the fact that they felt like they were made of Jell-O.

He rested his head on my shoulder, and I rubbed his back. “I guess this means you got my text after all.” I felt him nod. “Well, if this is what not wearing underwear gets me, I’m never putting on another fucking pair ever again.”

We both laughed, quickly cleaned ourselves up, and I peeked out the door to make sure the coast was clear. Still not a soul around, and we said a final goodbye to Alani on our way out and proceeded to walk back to the Jeep. We sat for a while, neither of us feeling quite capable of driving.

He leaned over to kiss me, hand on the back of my neck, grinning as he pulled away. “I’m famished. Want to grab something to eat before we head back?”

“You already know the answer to that.” I noticed the street getting a bit congested, a small pack of women heading in our direction and what appeared to be a local news crew up the road a bit…I pulled out my phone and checked Alani’s Twitter feed. She’d posted the photo of all of us.

Here’s me just a little while ago with Tom Hiddleston and his girlfriend, Maude. He smells like a pine forest, and she’s super nice. #bestdayever, #thankyoutomandmaude

I showed it to him. “I’m thinking maybe we should stop somewhere a little further down the road. You?”

He started the Jeep, put it in first and stalled it as he tried to pull away from the curb, and then again on his second try. He smiled at me sheepishly. “Perhaps you’d better drive.”

“Gee, ya think?” We got out and switched places. I shook my head. “What a newb.”

He crossed his arms. “I am not a newb. I’m just out of practice is all.”

I patted his thigh as we got to the highway. “Right. Rusty stick skills. I remember.”

He chortled. “Yours remain top notch though, my love.”

I smiled smugly. “They do, don’t they?”

He raised his index finger. “Although, technically, you didn’t actually make use of them this go round, did you?”

“I’ll make up for it next time.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

“Well I’d fucking hope you’d hold me to it. That’s the whole point.” I saw a McDonald’s sign in the distance. “Dude, I want some French fries in the WORST way. And a chocolate milkshake. You game?’

“I most certainly am.”

“If you behave I’ll let you have my cherry.”

“Bit late for that, isn’t it?”

“How rude.”

“Perhaps. But true.”

“Not entirely true.”

“What do you mean, not entirely true?”

I turned off the highway and into the parking lot. The drive through line was mobbed, but the lot itself was relatively empty. “I mean that the fact that it’s a bit late for you to have my cherry is only partially correct.”

He stared at me as I engaged the parking brake, puzzled, then shook his head. “I’m not following.”

The left corner of my mouth scrunched up in mock irritation. “Really? Are you sure?” He shrugged, palms up. “Think about all we’ve…done.”

“Maude.”

“Good. Now think about what we haven’t done.” I gave him a few moments to review, watching his face closely so I’d see it dawn on him. 3…2…1…aaaannndd there it was. His jaw slackened, hips lifting almost imperceptibly. “That’s right. I’ve played around, sure, but as far as actually having a cock in my ass…nope. Which means, technically, my anal cherry is still intact.”

He covered his face with his hands, groaning, but said nothing.

I went in for the kill. “So, Thomas…tell me. Would you like my cherry?”

Shaking his head, face still hidden, he spoke in a low voice. “Maude.” He paused, remaining silent for quite some time, seemingly avoiding my question. I wondered if I’d overstepped some sort of boundary, pushing him too far.

My mind was racing, and I frowned. “Wow. I’m really sorry, Tom.”

He uncovered his face to take my hand, gazing at me with eyes full of concern. “Whatever for?”

“Because I put you on the spot there and just assumed it’s something you’d want to participate in. I didn’t stop to think that it’s something that might not be up everyone’s alley.” I rolled my eyes. “That didn’t come out…shit…DAMN. Anyway, that was incredibly presumptuous and I apologize for letting myself get so carried away. Please don’t feel like it’s something you have to…”

He leaned in to kiss me forcefully, covering my entire mouth with his, tongue darting over my lips, then pulled away before I could fully engage. “May I answer your question now?”

I shook my head. “Tom, you don’t need…”

“I know I don’t need to, but I WANT to. My answer is, with undeniable certainty, yes. Please accept my apology for not answering straight away. I’m afraid I was too busy thinking about how deliciously tight you’re going to feel around me and then I remembered that you aren’t wearing panties and it was all I could do to stop myself from dragging you onto my lap and fucking you right here in the McDonald’s parking lot.”

His eyes met mine, nostrils flaring, pupils blown wide open. Never before had I been able to do this to a man, make him want me so desperately using nothing but words. He squeezed my hand.

“That you’d trust me with something so intimate, bequeathing me such a precious gift, wishing to share something that you’ve not yet experienced with another, is…I’m honored, humbled, awestruck…so very many things.” He smiled timidly. “I’ve never been someone’s first anything before.”

My brows shot up, but I managed to keep my mouth shut.

“Maude, there’s something I’d like to ask you, but…”

“Shoot.”

“All right. This may be terribly intrusive, and feel free to not answer it if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, but…knowing what I do about you, sexually, I’m…surprised…that you…erm, never…anyway, I suppose I’m just wondering why.”

I sighed. Good job, Maude. This is what you get for trying to be a seductress.

“Long story short, you’re only the fourth person I’ve been intimate with. The first two were before I was twenty and not even remotely interested in such a thing. By the third I was very interested, but things fell apart before it happened.” I put my arms on the steering wheel and rested my forehead on them for a moment, then raised my head and turned to him. I couldn’t quite read the expression on his face.

“Okay, I’m not sure if that look means ‘I didn’t need to hear that’ or ‘wow, only three, what a loser’.”

He shook his head. “It’s neither. Well, maybe a bit of the first one, because the idea of you being with someone else is much more unpleasant than I would have imagined, but…it was mostly surprise that such an incredibly beautiful, intelligent, hilarious woman wouldn’t have men lining up to be with her.”

“Thomas. Stop being so fucking wonderful, won’t you? Christ. There was no line, believe me. I’ve always been at least a little chubby, but after I moved to New York I put on a huge amount of weight. There are reasons for that, but that’s another story for another time. By 2003 I was tipping the scales at two hundred and forty-seven pounds. I’ve always been a confident person, and I honestly never cared what anyone else thought about the way I looked, but…you know what I’m getting at here, I think. In late 2008 I started feeling like shit, and Anne, who’d nearly died due to undiagnosed diabetes in 2003, pushed me to see a doctor. Sure enough, that was the problem. It was early, and resolvable with lifestyle modifications. So, I kicked myself in the ass, and over the next year I lost more than eighty pounds, and that was when I…a woman in her sexual prime, in the best shape of her life…met number three. God bless him…I was on a mission, making up for lost time and he could barely keep up with me. One time I actually thought he was going to need an ambulance…sheese, why I am telling you this? Yikes. Sorry. Lord knows I don’t want to hear anything like it from you.” I unbuckled my seat belt. “Let’s pretend this never happened and go get those milkshakes, m’kay?”

He grabbed my arm as I opened the door, and I turned to meet his gaze. “I…Maude…I just…you are…everything about you…” He shook his head. “I fall deeper in love with you with every passing moment.”

“Right back atcha, baby.” He laughed. “Yeah. No way I was going to try and out-eloquent you there. Waste of time and energy.”

We went inside, his arm around my shoulders, and ordered two Happy Meals when we saw the new toys were Minions. Neither of us could resist playing with them as we ate. Tom went back for a Big Mac and chicken nuggets, which I shared. He stuck his fingers in through the lid of my milkshake, deftly picking up the cherry and popping it in his mouth, a huge smile on his face.

We both used the bathroom, separately, and as we were walking back to the Jeep I heard the voice of a young boy.

“Mom, Mom! That man over there! That’s the man you’re always looking at on your computer!”

A woman replied to him. “Mason, what are you talking ab…?” And with that, I knew she’d seen Tom. I pulled at his shirt, and he looked down at me and nodded. We turned around and waved. The woman was about my age, maybe a little older, and she looked like she might die of embarrassment when she realized we’d overheard their conversation. Tom strode over, hand extended.

“Hi there. Tom Hiddleston. And you are?” She moved as if in a trance, hand out, and he grasped it gently and shook.

“I…uh…um…Sarah. I’m Sarah. And this is my son, Mason.”

Tom beamed and shook Mason’s hand as well. “Lovely to meet you both.”

Sarah reached into her purse, dug around and pulled out a Coriolanus program. She cleared her throat. “I heard that you’d be on the island and I’ve been carrying this with me, you know, just in case.”

He took it from her. “Were you in attendance?”

Mason piped up. “We flew all the way across two oceans so she could go see your show. I saw Big Ben. It was really cool.”

Sarah was bright red. “I saw it twice, actually, but didn’t have time to stay after.”

Tom pulled a sharpie out of his back pocket. “May I?”

She grinned. “Please do.” He signed his name, as well as a message. ‘Sorry to have missed you there, but better late than never. Glad to finally have met you. XO’”

As he handed it back to her he asked if she’d like a picture with him. He introduced us, and I volunteered to do the honors so Mason could squeeze in as well. I gave him my Minion to keep him occupied while I took some shots of just Sarah and Tom. He held it up to give it back to me when I handed Sarah back her phone.

“Nope, buddy, that’s yours now.” I held out my hand to Tom and he put his toy in it. “In fact, you can have Tom’s too. This way he gets to stay with his friend and won’t be lonely.” He thanked me so quietly I could barely hear him, eyes full of wonder at what to an adult was such a small gesture.

Tom hugged them both goodbye, and Sarah embraced me as well. She smiled at my surprise. “Thank you, both of you, so much.”

Tom put his arm around my waist as we walked the rest of the way back to the Jeep, placing a quick kiss on the top of my head.

“It is my personal opinion that you’re a much kinder, gentler person than you’d like everyone to believe.”

I sighed. “Yeah, yeah. And it’s all your fucking fault, too.”

#your light in the mist #chapter 11

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massielandnetwork · 3 years

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Important Economic Trends During Anarchy

2021 – Let the Games Begin

13. A Christian Secession – Real Leaders Begin to Emerge

Pre-Wuhan Virus, face masks were the sign of a thief. President for Life Xi of China earned the use of the term “Xi Mask” by sending to us the Wuhan Virus. Such a gift, bless his little heart (for any non-southern readers of this blog that is the Southern way of saying that he might have a heart but it is extremely small). My father was a fine, Christian, Southern Gentleman who taught me some things. My mother was born in New Jersey of New York parents. She was a fine Christian Lady but was “plain spoken” in Southern terms. Her 50% of me is obvious.

A recent photo of Biden on a Zoom panel with world leaders showed Biden as the only one to wear a mask. Many Americans criticized Biden for wearing a mask – saying it was stupid looking for a vaccinated man, siting somewhere by himself, to wear a mask. Well, as my mother used to say “Stupid is as Stupid does”. Perhaps we should alter the saying to “Demented is as Demented does”.

My reaction to the image was that Biden and the Demented Marxists (DM) in Congress wearing a mask is totally appropriate. They stole the election and thieves wear masks. They wear them as a source of pride (“Look at us, we stole the election”). Have the DMs adopted a Xi Mask as a sign of their political party affiliation? I can hear the campaign slogan “Trump gave you a vaccine via Operation Warp Speed but we made the face mask a perpetual reminder that we stole the election in November 2020!”. Truthful, but not much of a campaign slogan.

Melissa Mackenzie, publisher of The American Spectator, just recently wrote about the courage of a public-school teacher who spoke out against the Critical Race Theory during a mandatory “Whiles only” indoctrination session. The Orwellian response of the school administration must have been painful to endure. The educator risked their career.

In the same article, Ms. McKenzie mentioned a county school board that resigned en mass because of parents irate about requiring masks. A new school board was elected who promptly voted to terminate the mandate of masks. Perhaps these are green shoots of a trend of bravery starting. Get involved and help make this a trend.

There are increasing examples of elected and appointed officials who are becoming Drum Majors without a marching band. Do they realize just how silly they look? I believe Christians have had enough and are ignoring the DMs. Some of the most notable events: The Academy Awards held this week had the fewest viewers EVER. They joined the NBA with plummeting ratings.

I believe this marks a trend started when Trump actually solved problems rather than just talking about them being problems. It is a stark contrast to the politicians in Richmond or DC. Most of them just want to get paid for talking about a problem, scoring rhetorical points, and have a fund raiser about the problem, but they never solve the problem. The focus is all about money, theirs.

Wednesday evening, Biden spoke to Congress and apparently spouted the DM positions of (1) all whites are bad, (2) raising taxes for bigger and more inefficient government is good, (3) yada ad nauseum. I did something else that night that was a productive use of my time. On Thursday morning I read Senator Tim Scott’s rebuttable speech via The Daily Signal. AWESOME.

The entire speech was Superb, Awesome, Worthy of reading even if you heard it. His focus was on “Common sense makes common ground.” His speech was full of common sense, a characteristic so obviously lacking in the DMs. The Christian Rebellion will lead us back to common sense problem solving by both economic decision votes and honest elections. Leaders like Senator Tim Scott and the educator Ms. Mackenzie mentioned need our support and prayers. We need to increase the reality of “Go Woke and Go Broke”.

While Portland continues to be a war zone with police that are unarmed rangers, I read an article by someone who has just left Minneapolis permanently because of the destruction, lack of police, etc. Keep watching the activity about the fraudulent election last November.

a. The Michigan Supreme Court ruled that the Michigan Secretary of State exceeded her authority when she approved a variety of changes to the state’s election laws. Was the “certified” election in Michigan a fraud? YES.

b. The Arizona legislature authorized recount of 2.1 Million votes in Maricopa County, Arizona has started despite the DMs attempt to prevent it.

c. It is fun watching the DMs oppose audits in Wisconsin and Georgia. Odd behavior if there is nothing to hide.

d. Lawsuits have been filed and counter filed by Mike Lindell, Sidney Powell, and Dominion (the voting machine company). Stay tuned, much more to come.

107 days into the DMs’ coup (it is the longest 107 days EVER), here are some quick observations of recent events that will impact our economy:

1. The Fed met this week and decided their current policy is peachy keen. They do not see any threat of inflation. Apparently, Chairman Powell is blinded by the glitter of a second term. Meantime, the reported rate of inflation in March was 1%, an annual rate of 12%. Ignore the talking heads reading their teleprompters that the rate of inflation is going to calm down later this year. With DM’s are using economic techniques refined in Venezuela, what could go wrong?

2. Pay attention to the fact that homebuilders are facing rapidly increasing prices for material and labor. Plus, restaurant operators are having to raise salaries and give bonuses to encourage staff to get off the unemployment rolls and work. Increased costs are rolling through the economy. Powell wants you asleep, remember “Snooze you lose?

3. Biden and his fellow DM’s are so out of touch with the real world. In the face of labor shortages and rapidly increasing costs they continue to push their twin Democratic Party Payoff “infrastructure” bills. Not much real infrastructure in those bills. Churchill once said that “Believing you can tax and spend to create prosperity is the equivalent of standing in a bucket and trying to raise it by its handle.”

4. In a truly capitalistic economy, the brake on this run-away train would be applied by the 10-year Treasury which continues to fluctuate between 1.50% to 1.70%. If The Fed was not distorting the financial market via Quantitative Easing (QE) interest rates would be higher. Even in the face of QE various sources estimate that by the end of 2021 the 10-year Treasury will be 2.5% to 3.0% and mortgage rates will increase to 4.0% to 4.5%.

5. There are so many signs of the residential market being a Bubble, I cannot list them in this Blog. In contrast most segments of the commercial market are cautious to slow. Our GMLC land market indices reflect most segments are stable. Higher interest rates mean lower real estate prices. When bubbles burst, shortage becomes surplus overnight.

6. Environmental regulations have gotten worse and approval times are lengthening. This increases the distortion in the marketplace.

7. I laughed at Northam’s goal to double Virginia’s farm exports in 15 years. Virginia’s government is taking so much cropland and pastureland out of production with Virginia’s Nutrient Credit program, Northam must be talking in terms of inflation doubling in 15 years. Now that is a real possibility. We need to get the DM’s out of government at all levels and replace them with folks that have common sense.

A great book for this current economic period is Dr. Kindleberger’s easy to read but superb book entitled “Manias, Panics, and Crashes”. Unsustainable things continue until that unpredictable moment when they stop. In a financial crisis “Cash is King”. Get prepared.

A great piece of land remains The Best investment long term unless the DMs get us to full-fledged Marxism. Capitalism builds wealth, Marxism/Socialism consumes it in self destruction. Pray for a return to honest elections in the USA. God is in control. Men make plans, but God ALWAYS wins.

“For it is God’s will that by doing right you should silence the ignorance of the foolish.”

(1 Peter 2:15) New Revised Standard Version, Oxford University Press)

Stay healthy,

Ned

April 29, 2021

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brokenhayatim · 4 years

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exhale

idk how long this is gonna be but it goes a little something like this. you ever been so afraid of failing that you just procrastinate and avoid for so long? each day you tell yourself you’ll finally suck it up and push through but the fear and anxiety are almost so paralyzing you don’t even wanna go near the task.

i’s just been months..like maybe even five at this rate. i tell myself to start the clock the day i graduated but i know the truth. the last year-ish was my idkwhatimdoingwithmylifeohmygod era and i just thought i passed it with a bit more advice and options. but it’s like it was all almost pretty bubbles and they just popped so long ago that i’m lost and confused and afraid and nervous and all of that is so ridiculous, it embarrasses me. i’m not really that lazy but i say it to try and explain alot, i think. or i say that i’m just relaxing or something, when i know everyday my thoughts are always on this same thing and never being good enough to get through the rut. it wasnt till i was on a walk, voice memo-ing a friend and the anxiety just peeked through a bit and i was hearing my own thoughts aloud like ....thats true? and i’m told to not be afraid and to just let whatever happens happen if it’s best for me and i know that but i also dont?

everyday i constantly think about deleting every single social media app i’m on bc i feel this heavy weight of uselessness and incompetence. why couldn’t i have learned things like this person or been more out there like that person?what’s wrong with me? and i begin to rationalize it with my childhood and how i was raised and it never is fulfilling. it’s constantly not enough, nothing about me is. i’m not creative at all and what i can do, so many can do better and so why would anyone actually pick me? even the things and issues i’m passionate about, what do i really know? even my knowledge seems so below average and it’s confusing and stressful. i feel like if someone asked me a question about anything right now that i’ve just forgotten everything important and couldn’t even articulate a proper response. and i wanted to be an activist??? since i have to interview for jobs online now bc the pandemic it’s made me so nervous. i feel most in my element during in person interviews and i say that as someone that’s also awkward and nervous in the room. but i’m more anxious of the constant string of rejections i know i’m gonna receive now bc i can barely speak english and there’s nothing special about me at all. at least in person, i can smile and make it less weird. and i connect so much better that way, which loosens me up .000009% more. it’s really babyish i guess bc everyone is adjusting and i’m just not. and i thought i was with everything but i guess i really wasnt. and coming home everytime makes me fall back into this person i dont like ad i get so sluggish (my sister says its the trauma) and i dont know bc one day she’s waking up in florida and being a good semi productive human and the next she’s back in new york and its many low days and nerves. honestly the way this house sucks the life out of me, i dont even think i’d be good at any remote job. it’s kinda the reason half my brain is pushing the dead part bc i want to leave. be more self-sufficient and alone again. but where and how, you know? obvs im gonna need a job for that. it’s just this domino effect and i’m scared to push the first one and it’s annoying and i hate it goddaammit. the moment i came home, i just have always felt unworthy and other to my family. like they don;t care, like they’re not proud, like i’ve done nothing these past years and that’s my fault for not being an open book like the rest.

i’m gonna have to edit this bc i will not remember 87 months worth of pandemic thoughts into this post right now but. i tell myself i came home and decided to take a break for a bit, or focused on my health and appointments, but really..i dont know. i think i say it to justify all these hollow days of disappointment, which it never does. i’m afraid to ask for help or even a nice job recommendation from my last employer bc all i can think about is that it’s been months and what have i been doing this whole time? and i think they’ll ask that or think ??? now ??? and i get in my head. i know its not illogical and the worst anyone can say is no and yada yada but ugh this is why i hate my mind and just overthinking ... or not thinking?? who knows. i’m constantly letting myself down but .., i dont want anyone to know that. does that make sense. maybe i have this need to be superficial and make my life seem so nice and good and right bc i never see myself as that and i worry of people’s opinions and crave affirmations.

the first appt i had coming home was my neurosurgeon one and my dad and him sort of just had this rushed timeline in their heads of how i would go into the ER one day soon and bam its done. i didnt wanna think about that so i tried to focus on my job stuff .. then got stressed so i just started scheduling the appointments i needed. then stopped and did more work stuff. then the secretary called me like ???? u havent done these exams yet and i was like yeah uhhh. bc when i do them it’s one step closer to doing the surgery and i know i want the surgery i’m just getting in my head again and don’t want it to be now. my sister told me to make sure i let her know when i choose a date and i was like mhm i wanna finish the job stuff and get my life sorted first and she was just ???? what ?? this is clearly more important. but here’s the kicker. i went on a walk the other day and just cried coming to terms with it all bc honestly i still dream of not making it out alive and a part of me thinks, at least if i did this one thing right and found a job and all that, that it would okay what happens next. like at least i was successful in that one thing. i think about how unworthy and unproud i am of myself and for months now, just felt like this would be a beautifully cowardice way out. and i think about the after, and cant even imagine strong devastation and sorrow. is that strange? like i expect everyone to just go on. bc i’m a simple buffer with no real purpose left. i walk and think about dreams and hopes and what i would miss and just one thing that make me call this entire fantasy completely insane and i just draw blank. so i cry because, of course. this fantasy isn’t new either, since last year i’ve been speaking to my therapist and writing about it. we would speak of suicide and i always respond like that’s a huge no bc of my religion but i say, i think about if something went wrong and that was it, how i want it to be like that. take the pressure, take the blame, take it all off me in a way. and some days i’m scared that i’ll wake up in the hospital bed after and be in pain and coddled and annoyed by the attention i’m only getting bc of that pain. and i dont want you to be here just because of the pain but i feel like you’re here only because of that. that you came, that you’re seeing me, that you care only because of it. so what am i without it? just back to nothing? the headaches were lonely but i feel less lonely with this diagnosis, like i have something good about me, worthy about me. something that makes me important to someone, even if it’s the neurologist that wants my money. to be real, i dont even think i care about the pain leaving as much as the fact that i can’t label myself as this person with chronic pain. like even if i was cured and oo lala all better, a part of me would still want to have this neuro condition. like ?? i was thinking: imagine beating cancer and feeling better but wanting to say .. and then realized the key difference. with that you survive, you are survivor. even if it’s gone that who you are. when this leaves me, i’m nothing and i’ll just go back to being nothing. no one says u survived brain surgery or survived a brain condition. it’s just done and forgotten. there’s nothing exciting about my life other than my mri visits i swear. i decided to do the surgery bc it would be stupid of me not to, and i’m still holding back, still unsure of even a set month. i just know i didnt want to follow covid rules of 1 visitor bc i know it would be one of my parents and i would jump out the window myself. but covid isnt rlly going away so is that the best excuse i have? i havent thought past these appointments and its almost like im doing it all for the wrong reasons, like enjoying it rather than wanting it to help me. i dont know.

unrelated but a song that always makes me cry and is actually the song i was listening to when i had that panic attack on the plane: finally by james arthur around 2:30. always brings out the hollowness in me hm.

**** i’m coming back to this but i got all my plaguing thoughts outish so

#asiya's thoughts

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purge-that-urge-rhackathon · 7 years

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oh boy do i ever have tales for you babes jfc my life has been a mess. This is the story of how a booty call from tinder i literally met last night– as he helped me escape my sharehouse- dropped me safe at my airbnb and how my ass is going back home.

so i’m peacing out of australia in two weeks, and just gonna treat the next two weeks like a vacation and have fun and then just treat this like a life lesson. aside from being super homesick since i’ve been here, i literally left in the middle of the night last night from a hellish sharehouse where i’ve paid what amounts to $100 a day (i’m just eating the loss of one week’s rent cuz fuck it i couldn’t stay in that environment).

This angel in disguise i’d been texting with from tinder (but hadn’t met til he came and got me- and our texting has been nonsexual i should mention haha he’s great) picked me and all my belongings up and took me back to the airbnb i’d been staying at as i sobbed in his car i was just so relieved. He let me hug him and thank him and he loaded all my shit into his car while i explained things to him and kind of cried in his car at his kindness and like wow wtf kind of meeting right? He was sweet as fuck, i was only able to get out of there last night because he offered to help me. I could cry again thinking about it i’m so damn relieved. Really that guy is a lifesaver i’m gonna see if he’ll go for drinks with me tomorrow i’m just so grateful he’s the absolute best.

He got me back to my host at airbnb (a wonderful gay lawyer who’s been really like a friend since i first arrived here) and he gave me a big hug and i cried some more and he said on the phone earlier he couldn’t tell if i was crying or laughing cuz i have a natural sort of laugh to my voice, and i was like No dude i was trying not to cry xD He poured a glass of wine as i cried in just sheer relief again and tried to tell him more about what had happened aside from what he already knew, and 3 glasses of wine later i felt way better like jfc it was awful there.

I was only at the flatshare for five days, and it was so shit and not at all as advertised and when i originally gave the guy two week’s notice yesterday he tells me i still have to pay for the whole month’s rent, due on the 1st, so then i tell him i’ll be out by the 30th of august instead of in 2 weeks cuz i ain’t paying for shit when a) i haven’t signed anything b) its super drafty and dirty and in disrepair and he tells me not to use heaters throughout the day or the dryer more than once a week max, and c) he’s letting his friends and shit eat my food and stuff. It’s like fuck fucker i’m overpaying in rent here for this piece of shit and you think i’m gonna pay for time i’m not gonna be there when i haven’t signed shit and you’re a dickhead? WTF no.

He proceeds to:

Harass me all day about how i’m fucking him over (he got 2 week’s rent out of me for 5 days ya’ll; 5 days from the remainder of august which was already paid for by the previous girl who also moved out after a week– so he’s actually ahead of the game here when he’s claiming he’s so fucked yada yada wtf)

He says he’s gonna report me to the site i used to fin his flat (joke’s on him, i’ll be doing the same as all these problems are not advertised at all, and i suspect they’re actually squatting there as there’s no mail and the address doesn’t show up on google. The lawyer also thinks they’re probably squatting.)

He then says i have to pay him for the remaining time of august for those 12 days or be out the next day, and i’m like Dude you have my one week’s bond and the week i paid you for already keep it. That more than covers it. So cue his next freak out.

He accuses me of stealing some $10 hand soap (i’d been gone all day dude, wtf? i’m not a thief just because you’re pissed, and you have my money. what the actual fuck?). I point out that someone drank all my apple juice– and maybe that that someone also stole his handsoap cuz i didn’t touch that shit and why would i even?- and then he proceeds to tell me that it was his friend who drank my stuff- who crashed on the couch that night without telling any of us- but being as the ‘position’ i’d put him in he couldn’t care less about my juice. Ummm okaaaaay but you disrespecting my food and property predates me ‘screwing you over’ dickhead. If anyone is a liar and a thief it’s you.

He then tells me off about not to feed his cat and how it’s not my place whatsoever (i fed his cat one time and told him about it because the cat slept with me all night and wanted his breakfast, and he’d told me then please not to feed it, so i was like Gotcha sorry not a problem! but then he freaks out a second time here as he’s getting more petty about whatever he can. I just apologized again about feeding the cat the one time just not wanting to deal with him. That poor sweet cat from the video ya’ll :/

SO after all this bullshit, two fucking xanax and shaking all day, scared to go home and what might happen if i see him, i decide i’m moving the fuck out that night and not telling him cuz fuck him. He’s got my money, he has a key to my room he never gave me, i don’t feel safe, i am fucking GONE.

Tinder angel (who’s a fireman btw yaaas) picks me and my SHITTON of luggage up and i am just still so shocked by the kindness of strangers like BRO. Super thank, like you were already gonna get in these panties bro you’ve been sweet but now like HOOOO ahahah xD

Really though this place was in super disrepair that one couldn’t see at night (when i originally inspected) and i should have suspected when he told me the girl who was there previously left after a week “for a job in sydney”. Yeah sure, she was probably escaping too.

There was an actual breeze through the cracked windows (as in cracks in the glass) and walls and the 3 inch gap above the door.

when the industrial fan of some kitchen nearby went on, it created an intense breeze through my room due to the suction– only a couple degrees above seeing-your-breath icy at night

It was filthy- which i thought was just because of the weather- tracking in dirt from outside

There were ants in the bathroom, and the bathroom window was cracked and no curtain on the window

I don’t think the tub has ever been scrubbed– i thought someone had just recently dyed their hair but no :X still can’t believe i stayed 5 days there

Cat hair and stains all over the dirty carpet going upstairs

The sweet sweet cat actually has really bad dermatitis and open wounds

Said cat is ALWAYS on the counters when trying to cook, and he tries to get into what you’re doing; he leaves hair with flesh attached to it on the counters and the guy doesn’t remove the cat when you’re trying to cook

No microwave and the dials on the gas oven/stove are nearly falling off. Fire hazard doesn’t even cover it

Cat box is positioned in a place downstairs where, with one of the many cracked-open windows carries the smell of it right up and into my room

The girl in the room next to mine sang and played piano until 11pm at night. Her room also had a 3 inch gap so that sound carried. She didn’t block it up like i did

No lights outside at all so you need a flashlight to see. Not safe

I could hear the construction going on in a carpark across the road starting at 6am

NONE of these issues were addressed, they didn’t lodge my bond with the RTBA which is illegal as fuck so this guy needs to back the fuck off- more cred to thinking they’re squatting. The guy- after all this harrassment and bullshit, texts me this morning to say i could have had the decency to tell him i’d left. Like really? REALLY? After all the shit, like i’d even wanna be anywhere near him? just fucking hell man.

Then i cried to my mom on skype today because i was still so relieved to be somewhere clean and safe and warm with a host who wants me here (like i’d much rather pay to this guy for a little bit more a week than that asshole) and i’m just so DONE. I’m gonna focus these next two weeks on having fun, buying presents for my family, making memories with my cool kiwi friend and my friend from japan, and just overwrite this whole horrible experience.

I guess it’s a learning experience as well. I’ve never inspected a place on my own before and this has taught me a LOT, but like fuck guys. Really just that’s the word that sums it up: FUCK.

Dickhead doesn’t have my last name, no information about me, nothing but my phone number, and if he tries anything else then BRO i won’t hesitate to let the local police know you’ve got illegal substances in your place, don’t register bond, suspected squatting, etc.

Other than this, i still think australia is a lovely place but fuuuuuuck guys fucking hell.

Fic and fic and fic once i’m back in the states yep. I’ve been through the ringer here. Also my ankle is still a little fucked haha ugh. SO yeah guys, that’s whats going on in my neck of the woods. AAARGH. Anywho love all of ya’ll.

#tuck in this is a long one #just know i am safe and happy now and that's all well and good xD #poisonjack jabbers

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storyunrelated · 7 years

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Cold Hard Hugs #20_It Had To End This Way

Hey! I did manage to get it to end on twenty parts! How about that.

But yes. This is the end of Cold Hard Hugs. Or at least the first 'bit'. I have started a second 'bit' but it's not got very far yet and it's, uh, different. It is about different things. Kind of. I guess you'll see for yourself, sooner or later.

For now though, this is the end. See if it happens the way you thought it would

(The very end should be mentally accompanied by this track, because it was in my head)

I sat around a lot after they left. I sat in the lounge because I could and because that was where the films were. I watched the last one I’d watched with Tillie, but it wasn’t as good watching it on my own. I watched some others too but my jokes fell flat in an empty room. They fell flat with Tillie there, too, but at least they got some kind of reaction. The problem with telling jokes to myself is that I know the punchline. And I’m not funny.

The next day followed much the same pattern but in the daytime. There was probably something else I could have been doing, something more productive, but I couldn’t quite remember what. Films and drinking seemed just as good as anything else, at least until someone suggested something better.

While I’d been sitting around though, a disaster had crept up on me. I had run out of beer, which was bad. But I was capable of going out and getting more. Which was good.

I swapped out my oversized nighttime t-shirt for a far-too-small-probably-shrunk-in-the-wash one that was close to hand, dug around for my wallet, found my shoes and generally did all the things one does before leaving the house and then, well, left the house. The shop was not far away, at least by my standards. Some would have preferred to drive, no doubt, but those people don’t know the positives of a nice, casual stroll. I felt for them.

The walk was nothing to write home about. I have done many walks in my life at many times of the day and night and in many locations going to many other locations. Some have been more memorable than others for various reasons, most of which would make coherent sense only to myself. This walk to the shops was merely a logistical formality. If I could apparate I would have done. If i could apparate my life would be far easier, and I (probably) not quite as slim. And I was hardly slim as it is.

Thinking about teleportation of various kinds carried me in a numb haze to the shop s and before I was even aware of it was I there, confronted with beer. I honestly couldn’t even remember what route I’d taken, but there I was. The beer called out to me in myriad accents and tongues, all promises. That they were mostly brewed in places other than that which they claimed to hail from was immaterial for the purposes of my flight of fancy.

Maybe I was talking this up to myself. Making it more than I was. Best to focus on what mattered. I looked at the prices. Looking at my options, it really was the economical thing to buy a box. Anything less and - technically - I was spending more money. Technically. Bulk was always cheaper. So a box it was. Carrying it home would be fun. I could write it off as exercise.

I got ID’d, I paid, I left. Hoisting the box up on one arm I found the perfect position to seat it so the pointy corners didn’t press on my poor, tender flanks. Once that was done I trudged back the way I’d come.

Or at least the way I thought I’d come. I still wasn’t entirely sure which route I’d taken in the first place so I just picked whichever route seemed most likely to get me home soon. The one I picked turned out to be one I had not taken before, and I got a little lost. Unhelpful, but not uninteresting.

I then ran into Michelle. Walked into her would be more accurate, given our respective paces. I was not jogging. She had seen me coming a mile off and homed in me like a strolling, smiling missile. Conversation was inevitable, and if I was going to be honest it was just a tiny bit welcome.

“Fancy seeing you here,” I said, trying and failing to match her smile with my own. Simply out of my league.

“What happened to your face? It looks a little worse than usual,” she said, reaching out and poking my fading black eye. Nice of her.

“Hah. Uh, some guy hit me, it’s no big deal.”

“Why did he hit you?”

“Because he didn’t like me? It wasn’t something we really discussed. I think he mentioned Tillie. Maybe. Anyway, I didn’t know you lived around here,”I said, eager not to talk about being punched because it was pretty boring. My blatant and clumsy efforts at changing the subject were clearly amusing, judging by her reaction. She really did have the most enormous smile. Suited her, mind.

“I don’t, really. I’m just going for a walk,” She said with a shrug, raising her arms to indicate where she was, which was also where I was, too. Obviously.

“Ah, that’s cool,” I said. As I’d previously been thinking, walks were tops.

“Yeah. Going home tomorrow for reading week so I just thought I’d...have a walk first. Seems a bit silly now, I haven’t seen anything new,” she said, casting an eye around the neighbourhood. As far as streets went the one we’d met on wasn’t exactly the best. It wasn’t bad, just boring. If you didn’t know which town we were in - and I did, most of the time - and you’d just woken up on this street then you could have been ANYWHERE.

“No no, not silly, walking is good. Home for reading week, eh?” I did not know where Michelle lived or came from. I had no need to know. This is a bit of a theme with me, isn’t it? Skaffen was onto something! Ah...she hates me.

“You’re not?” Michelle asked, clearly inferring this from what I’d said. Magical of her.

“No. Figured I’d say here. I might actually try reading. Maybe.”

My actual, initial plan - as previously alluded to in my own head - had been to stay for reading week because Tillie had been staying for reading week. The prospect of us both being around with nothing much else to do other than be around and on our own had been an attractive one at the time. That hadn’t panned out, obviously, and I hadn’t really been able to muster the motivation to change my plan.

Not that I really had any appealing options available even if I’d had the inclination to change my plans. What did I have available? Nothing. Go home and be alone there. Hardly attractive. I’d be fine here. I might, in fact, actually do some reading, which would mean I didn’t just lie to MIchelle. That’d be a plus.

“Careful now, that’s dangerous talk,” Michelle said, which got a laugh out of me. Then she looked at the box I was carrying.

“You having a party or something?”

“What? Oh, this. No, I just ran out is all,” I said. She eyed the box rather more closely for a second and then gave half a shrug.

“Whatever makes you happy. Where’s Tillie anyway? I haven’t really seen either of you without the other for ages now. She back at the house?”

“She’s on holiday.”

“Oh. With family? Does she have family? Is that okay to ask?” Michelle asked, getting quieter as she went on, as though easily-offended people were lurking in the bushes to accuse her of being insensitive. I chuckled.

“I’m sure it’s okay to ask. I never have, but I’ve been told she has a father at least. Not on holiday with him anyway, on holiday with friends.”

“I didn’t know she had friends,” Michelle said. Then she realised what this sounded like “Not like that! I meant, like, I never saw her hanging around with anyone before she met you! I didn’t mean she has no friends!” She said. I grinned. I knew what she’d meant.

“It’s alright. They’re old friends, from when she was ickle,” I said. Michelle paused for a moment and had to take two quick steps to catch up again.

“She’s on holiday with other, uh, what-were-they-called-again?”

“Living machines. And yes. Woman. Man. Young man and young woman would be more accurate. Nice chaps. They came up together. I wonder what that was like…” I did wonder how the childhood of a living-machine would go. Was it even considered ‘childhood’? Was it analogous? Did they go outside and play? Maybe that was something I should ask about.

Could always ask Skaffen. Ha. Ha. Ha. She hates me.

“You’re...you’re okay with that?”

“Okay with what?”

“Her, like, going off with her friends and just leaving you behind.”

“Oh yeah. Why wouldn’t I be? People can do what they like. Actually, it was just Skaffen - that’s her, uh; the female friend - and Johnny going off at first but Skaffen came down, thought to invite Tillie, Tillie wanted to go yada yada. It snowballed, and here we are.”

“Are Skaffen - Skaffen, really? - and Johnny together or something then? Seems weird to bring along a third wheel.”

“Nah they’re just buddies pooling resources. Holidays are complicated and expensive things, you know!. But yeah. Apparently Tillie used to have something with Johnny years ago? But yeah. Kid crush or something like that. I didn’t really probe the details. Not that it matters. This is where we are.”

Michelle was looking at me oddly. I could see it from the corner of my eye but this told me nothing and I didn’t want to get a proper look because I didn’t want to get a proper look.

“I mean, it is a little odd that Skaffen would tell me they wouldn’t want me around as a third wheel - she actually said that, too, like you! - and then invite Tillie...but friends I guess. Nah, I can understand that. America’s too...American for me anyway. I’m fine.”

“Are you trying to convince me?” Michelle asked. Was I really so transparent?

“Is it working?”

“No.”

Rumbled. Oh no! Oh well.

“I am not surprised. Okay, I’ll admit there is a...selfish...rat-bastard part of me that is a tiny bit upset. Especially with some of the things Skaffen said. But that’s selfish and stupid and I don’t care what that part thinks. I’m fine,” the selfish rat-bastard part of my brain was a part I did not like. Always there, always gnawing away. I imagined other people didn’t have that problem. Or if they did they likely handled it better. I’m just not that good, really.

“You’ve really got to learn to stand up for yourself, you know? If you weren’t happy about it why didn’t you say anything?”

“Being unhappy - and unhappy is a strong word! I’d hardly go that far - about it wasn’t going to do anything useful - why ruin her holiday before it even started? That’d be a dick move.”

“Going off on holiday and leaving your boyfriend behind is a bit of a dick move…”

“Well it’s all subjective, in the end. Dicks and their moves are subjective.”

I disagreed with this, myself. Not about the dick moves part; they truly were subjective, as were a great many things. I meant about the going off. Rat-bastard feeling aside it was perfectly acceptable to go off and leave me, I thought. Why should she be forced to stay? Didn’t make sense to me. But that was me, and each to their own.

There was also the conspicuous point of Skaffen’s plan which I was not mentioning. Should I mention that? What would Michelle gain from that? Nothing, obviously. So don’t do it. She’d have some useful advice, no doubt; something you could take to heart and utilise, but how unhappy would it make her? I don’t know, but unhappier than she is already, and that would be no good. Keep it to yourself. Much better.

By this point we had both meandered so far we had actually ended up back at my house. This surprised me greatly. I stopped, and once she noticed I had so did Michelle.

“My place. You ever seen my house?” I asked. She squinted at me.

“No. Why would I?” Michelle asked. This was a very good point given I’d never invited her and without that she would have had no reason to ever even come this direction.

“Good question…” I said, adjusting my grip on the box in my arms. The conversation suffered a lull. A tree rustled and this just made the lull that much worse. A leaf fell on my head.

“I couldn’t get a glass of water, could I?” Michelle asked breaking the silence. She’d asked it in something of a rush, I noticed, though why I could not say. Perhaps she hated the quiet as much as I did. The question did rather blindside me though.

“From inside?”

“Well I could always drink from a hose if you got one,” she said. Good line. Technically not a ‘glass’ of water though. Not consistent. But I’ll let it slide.

“Funny, I like it. No, inside will work, come on,” I said, moving to the front door and getting it open. I let Michelle in first because that was the practical thing to do and also the polite one - one of the few times in life those things converge so neatly! I then closed the door. By the time this was done she had found the kitchen, though not the glasses.

“Nice place,” she said. “Not much cutlery, though.”

We did not have much cutlery. In fact, until I arrived, I don’t think there was any cutlery at all. No real need. So all that there was - which wasn’t much, as said - was mine, and therefore of substandard quality and questionable design. It didn’t bother me. Most of the time i was using it it was in my mouth anyway.

“Not been scouring drawers for glasses, have you?” I asked, setting my box down onto the side and feeling relieved. I opened it up as well. Warm beer was better than no beer. I’d put the rest in the fridge later. Maybe. Possibly. If I remembered it was there.

“No, just being nosy. Ah, here they are,” Michelle said on finding a glass. She proceeded to fill it with water, which wasn’t difficult for her. That’s a university education for you. That was why she - heading for a first last I heard, the way she was going - could fill up a glass but I was stuck using bottles. Says a lot. Propped up on kitchen counters we both stood and sipped, two young adults enjoying a beverage. How exciting.

“Whatever happened to those guys who hit you?” Michelle asked once her glass was empty. My bottle was empty too, so I opened another one.

“Just one guy hit me. The other ones were mostly just there to watch, I think. To observe, take tips perhaps. Tell me their exciting opinions. Either way I don’t know. Don’t really care. Unless I meet them again, in which case I may start caring again pretty quickly. Weird that someone would hit me in the face, don’t you think?”

“Some people have very strong feelings about living machines,” Michelle said the word with an awkwardness that was not deliberate. Fair play to her; it was not a term that rolled easily off the tongue.

“So I have noticed. I can’t really understand it myself, but then again I can’t really understand people in general, so I’m obviously not the best person to, uh, understand.”

Anything at all really. Just ask my lecturers. And teachers. And parents. And friends. People you pass in the street, ask them. They’d probably know as well. It is written all over my face, my lack of understanding prowess.

“Did you tell anyone about it? Police, campus security?”

“Nah, don’t want to make a fuss. It’ll be fine. If I see them again I’ll, uh...well I haven’t worked that part out. Maybe things will go differently. If not then maybe I’ll tell someone,” I said, staring down the neck of my bottle.

Was the glass in this bottle green or brown? I have great difficulty telling. When it comes to recycling them they have to be separated, I understand. Tillie does it for me normally. Though I haven’t had any she needed to separate for a while now. It’s not going to look good if she comes back and has to sort through a whole box worth.

I’ll find somewhere to dump them before that happens. Problem solved. Take that, Earth.

All of a sudden Michelle was in front of me. She must have moved quickly because I hadn’t really noticed her moving at all. Then again, everything was starting to go a little fuzzy around the edges anyway, so perhaps I wasn’t simply operating at full capacity. I didn’t even bother holding on when she took the bottle out of my hand and put it down onto the side.

“You shouldn’t really be drinking this early. Or alone,” she said, quietly, not looking me in the face. Her head was down, which given her height should mean she was looking in my face, but somehow she wasn’t. I imagine it’s a trick tall people perfect.

“Well I won’t have much choice soon, once you’ve gone,” I said with immense joviality. I didn’t pick up the bottle though. Not yet. Would be rude after she’d just gone to the trouble of putting it down for me. For whatever reason.

“You could always just not do it,” she suggested. I shrugged, not having the room for much else.

“I guess,” I said. She wasn’t wrong. It’s sort of hard to stop sometimes though. Once I woke up hungover I’d stop, so it was just a case of having that happen sooner rather than later. Probably not the best approach, but I’m not the best person.

Michelle seemed to notice how close she was and back up, which gave me just enough room to stretch as a yawned; good timing all round!

“Oh my God, more? What are those? Those from the same guy?” I heard her say. I paused mid-stretch and opened one eye.

“What are what?” I asked.

“Those,” she said, both her hands coming down onto my hip. That was unusual. I looked.

My t-shirt had obviously shrunk far more than I had initially thought, as my simple act of stretching had exposed a considerable portion of my hideous pale flank. I was suddenly struck by the potent memory of sitting by Michelle on that bench what felt like a lifetime ago, trying hard not to watch her stretch. I think she did a better job of doing it, myself. Stretching, not the not looking. She was rubbish at that as she was looking right at me.

So absorbed was I in this meandering train of thought that the actual thing she had been talking about - the bruises, far fresher than the one on my face and thus far more impressive looking (all green and blue! I think it’s green) - only occurred to me distantly after everything else. She had framed them with her fingers and they stood out quite blatantly. I grinned, a mite sheepish.

“Oh those. Don’t worry about those,” I said, dropping my arms and letting the shirt fall back into place. Barely. It was a damn shame, too; I liked that t-shirt. Then again, I could probably stand to lose some weight anyway. Michelle’s hands had left once fabric had fallen onto them, and now her arms were folded.

“But what did that? Those were even more bruises, right? How did they get there? What have you been doing? Did that guy who hit you do that?” Michelle asked, bombarding me with questions. Before I could even formulate an answer her eyes had narrowed ever so slightly and she’d added a further question:

“She did that, didn’t she?”

My immediate thought was of course ‘Who’s she, the cat’s mother?’ but I didn’t say that. I doubted Michelle would have got the joke. Did make me smile a bit as I replied though.

“She? Oh, Tillie. Uh yeah she does. Not that she means to. She just doesn’t really know her strength and she has, ah, hard bits…” I said. Now that they’d been mentioned they did throb a bit. It was something I’d honestly stopped noticing that much and just sort of lived with. It wasn’t so bad, really. Pain don’t hurt.

From the look on Michelle’s face I could sort of tell she wasn’t taking this as lightly as I was, but that was to be expected. She did not have the same level of familiarity I had, nor the context. To someone on the outside the bruises probably did look pretty bad. ‘My girlfriend is made of metal and hugs me super hard’ is a flimsy excuse, albeit a true one.

I suppose in most other circumstances it would look very questionable indeed, being so beaten up. Though ‘beaten up’ has connotations all its own, none of which apply. I wasn’t hit, I was merely squeezed and occasional buffeted. Tillie was merely a little rougher with me then she perhaps was aware she should be. I imagine were she going out with - for the sake of painful, self-pitying argument - Johnny this would be less of an issue. But I’d prefer not to think about that.

Michelle’s arms had dropped from being folded and she was now absent-mindedly rubbing one arm, looking around the room and not at me.

“Can I ask you some...deeply personal questions?” She asked.

“How personal?” I asked. She gave me a very level, completely serious look.

“Deeply personal,” she said, looking me straight in the eye. I had to turn away before I had a hole seared out the back of my head from the intensity of her stare. Such eyes!

“Sure, why not,” I said, taking another swig and pointedly not meeting those deadly, deadly eyes. Such eyes...

“Do you and Tillie ever get intimate?”

I felt like saying that if we did I’d probably have worse bruises and in more interesting places, but this was a serious discussion and Michelle had asked a serious question, so I needed to come up with a serious answer. No coyly asking ‘define intimate’ or anything like that. That’s no fun, but that’s life.

“We cuddle and I give her a kiss from time to time but not what you’re probably driving at, no.”

“You kiss her?” Michelle asked, evidently having some difficulty with the concept. I brought a finger up to tap my forehead.

“On the noggin, yeah. From time to time. There’s not many other places it’s practical. At least not that I know about.”

“I see.”

“Hey, you asked.”

“I did, I did.”

“What sort of answer were you expecting? Something more lewd?”

“No. I don’t know. Sorry. It was dumb to ask,” she said. I felt I may have been coming across as somewhat more aggressive than I meant to. A habit of mine. I actually have zero idea of how I come across to anyone any of the time, but apparently it’s the wrong way almost all of the time. I would try harder to fit into the idea of what they expected. Would be easier for them.

“It’s alright. Not something everyone runs into everyday, can see why you’d be curious. But I’m very boring, I’m afraid. I’m just very fond of her,” I said. Michelle’s expression was still obviously less than fully positive.

“Not a fan?” I asked.

“No. I mean, not like that. It’s just...this is going to sound really bad…” she said, nudging at something on the floor with her foot. Whatever it was did not move, and she stopped nudging it. A wise decision.

“Honesty is the best policy. I’m hardly going to hold anything you say against you,” I said. A true thing. I’m too lazy to hold anything against anyone in real life. Takes too much effort by half. She gave me what was a very potent apologetic look.

“It’s just that I don’t get how you can find her, you know...attractive?”

“That’s a complicated question. Wait, no. That’s a complicated answer. To that simple question. Uh...I’m really not the best person to explain it,” I said. Michelle pinched the bridge of her nose. I still don’t know what that’s about.

“You’ve really got to stop doing yourself down like that, it’s exhausting. Just treat it like a yes or no question and, you know, give me a yes or a no.”

“It’s not as simple as that though,” I said, doing my best not to grit my teeth as I said it.

“Treat it like it is. Snap decision, go.”

“It’s not - ugh - if it’s no I sound like a bastard and if it’s yes it’s robbed of context.”

“Well give me one then give me context,” Michelle said, and even I could tell she was getting sick of this back and forth as well. She forced my hand.

“Yes then. Yes. And no it’s not because I’ve got a thing for serpent tails or lenses or metal or whatever it’s just because I love her and when I look at her I feel...something. Like a good thing. I don’t know, I’m bad at this. I just look at Tillie and see Tillie and I feel good and I don’t know if I can break it down any more than that.”

Michelle did not respond immediately.

“You love her?”

“Do I? I said that?” I asked, she nodded. “Oh. Uh.”

I couldn’t add much to that. I felt a bit numb. Had I said that? Had I meant that? Did things like that really just slip out? Oh dear. First person I say it to not being the actual person who it concerns. Go me. You’re great at this.

Michelle went quiet, looking around the room, fingers tapping on her empty glass.

“So...you’re going to be here on your own?” She asked and I clung to her change of subject like a drowning man clinging to a piece of floating wreckage. Not the first time that bit of imagery had come to me this year. Must be a rough year.

“For the week, yeah,” I said.

“You going to be okay?”

“Course. Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked. Michelle was looking at me but I could not for the life of me work out if it was just because that’s people did when they talked to one another, or if she meant something by it. Not the sort of thing you could just ask, either.

“Some people might get lonely,” she said with a shrug, finally looking away, not pinning me down with those damn eyes of hers. So big.

“Oh, I’ll be lonely. But I’ll be fine. It’s only a week,” I said. It was only a week, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. She kept tapping on the glass. Some rhythm I couldn’t quite pick out. She noticed I was noticing and so put the glass down in the sink, hands going back onto the counter behind her as she lent against it.

“If you wanted to, you know, come up and see me sometime you could do that. If you wanted. It’s only two or three stops away,” she said, faux-casual.

“That’s very nice of you, but I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t be intruding. Just friends seeing each other, right? Normal human interaction. Everyone’s doing it these days,” she said. I chuckled, and not for the first time.

“So I hear. But no, it’s fine, really it is. I’m sure you’ll have other things going on anyway and I wouldn’t want to, uh, cramp your style. Or mess it up for you. Third wheel, that’s me. My stock in trade. It’s fine,” I said, wafting a hand in her direction.

For a moment it looked like she was going to press the issue but midway through starting to she clearly decided against it as she sunk back onto the counter with a shrug.

“Alright. But if you change your mind you have my number. You do have my number, right?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Well let’s fix that,” she said. We did, exchanging numbers. I’m not sure why I did that. Impolite to refuse at that point, and always handy to have people’s numbers anyway. In case of emergency, you know.

“Or if you want to talk or anything. Anytime at all, okay?” Michelle asked, by way of command. I nodded.

“Rightyo,” I said, tucking my phone away. Tillie had not sent me anything. She’d said she’d try, which is not the same as saying she would. So that was fine. Probably too far away now anyway. Probably busy. That was fine.

The conversation lulled again. Michelle stood up straight.

“I should probably...go. Packing to finish,” she said.

“Of course, of course. Don’t let me keep you. I’ll be seeing you again soon no doubt anyway,” I said, guiding her through the hall and opening the front door for her. It’s a host thing, I’ve been told.

“As soon as you like,” she said, pointing to my pocket. I patted it.

“Yes yes, have no fear. You have fun doing whatever it is you do back home. Having fun, probably.”

“I make a point of it,” she said. She then paused, deliberated, and hugged me.

It was forceful - as I was used to at this point - but it wasn’t as uncomfortable. Her edges did not dig into me. I wasn’t even sure she had edges. She was likely too soft to have hard edges, and too warm. Very warm, in fact. Warm and soft and holding me very tightly indeed. I wasn’t sure where to put my hands and still hadn’t made a decision by the time Michelle broke away and stood back.

“You be okay, okay?” She asked. An odd ask.

“I’ll be fine,” I assured her. She gave me a lingering look, said nothing and then headed down the path. We waved, I closed the door and then she was gone. I moved back to the kitchen, dragging my feet along the carpet and ending up leaning on the counter again.

Picking up the bottle Michelle had put down I looked around the kitchen and noticed just how dark everything had got. The light switch was only a few feet away but that put it out of reach and I couldn’t really find it in myself to move closer. I took a swig in the dark and grimaced.

I’ll be fine. It’s only a week after all, and in the grand scheme of things what’s happened, really? Nothing horrendous. Nothing of any note at all, if you think about it. So my girlfriend was out of the country - she was allowed holidays with friends. So what if one of the friends she was going with was the intelligent, successful, nice guy she had had a crush on when she was a kid? He couldn’t help that, and neither could she. It didn’t mean anything.

And what kind of perfect-storm of nonsense was that situation anyway? That sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen in real life. It felt contrived. But these were the cards I’d been dealt. It still didn’t mean anything. Nothing at all.

Of course, the rat-bastard lurking in the dank hindquarters of my brain was quick to disagree, but it always did that. The rat-bastard was quite energetic and enthused as it painted a picture of Johnny and Tillie sharing experiences bringing them closer together. Once-in-a-lifetime things, the whimsical occasions being on holiday creates. What sort of shenanigans might they get up to on the other side of the world, all alone? Well, all alone barring Skaffen, who would probably be more than happy to give them all the space they needed. The rat-bastard was under no illusions as to who Skaffen would prefer Tillie with, even if I was.

But the rat-bastard is a liar, so I ignored him. The more convincing he sounded, the more I ignored him.

And so what if a pretty, friendly person had given me their contact details with explicit instructions to call if I felt the need? I wasn’t going to impose on anyone like that. Certainly I wouldn’t dream of actually going and seeing Michelle, no matter how close she was or how easy it would be. Better I just let her get on with whatever it was she was planning on doing. I’d only mess things up for her. Who would want me around? Someone who said they did? Unlikely.

The rat-bastard part was very quick to point out that - were I to visit Michelle, who was after all only two or three stop away - the possibility of further soft, warm contact was probably quite high. It might, the rat-bastard said, be quite abundant in fact. And given the likelihood of Tillie and Johnny getting close and extra-chummy across the pond (as the rat-bastard had previously mentioned) it would surely be understandable to seek some manner of comfort for the wounded feelings, even pre-emptively. It made it sound reasonable.

This idea was abhorrent. It made me unhappy. The misery I’d be inflicting on Tillie if she was just having a nice, friendly holiday. To come back and find out - as one always finds out - what I’d done when her back was turned, and why. A betrayal based on an assumption. Pathetic. Not to mention the misery I’d be heaping onto Michelle, dragging her into a sucking mire entirely for my own short-term benefit. Disgusting. Unthinkable. Pointless. Down rat-bastard, down. Back in your hole.

No. I would stay here. In the dark. Where I couldn’t hurt anyone.

“I’ll be fine,” I said. I mostly believed it. But not completely.

And that was that.

END

#Cold Hard Hugs #Story #Writing #Amwriting #Writblr

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reverseskydives · 7 years

Text

Without Emotional Advertising, Your Landing Page Won’t Work. Here’s How to Get It Right.

Emotions guide nearly every facet of our lives.

And it’s no different when it comes to what we choose to buy.

Our purchasing decisions are largely guided by emotions rather than cold logic or stark objectivity.

Some experts even suggest that “90 percent of all purchasing decisions are made subconsciously.”

In other words, they’re based on emotions.

I think that one of the biggest mistakes marketers make with their landing pages is failing to make an emotional connection.

Sure, they present some facts, sprinkle in a bit of data, yada yada yada, but they just don’t connect on an emotional level.

Maybe this is why “only about 22 percent of businesses are satisfied with their conversion rates.”

It’s a serious problem.

From my experience, emotional advertising is by far the most critical component of a landing page.

It’s essential for getting the conversion rate you’re looking for.

I would now like to take a closer look at the science behind emotional advertising and explain how you can use certain principles to fully optimize your landing page.

Let’s dive in.

What science says

When I’m making marketing decisions, I like to use concrete data as my main guide.

One particular study that I found interesting was conducted by Martin Lindstrom who “was selected by Time Magazine as one of the ‘2009 Time 100’ for his work in the area of neuromarketing.”

In it, Martin uses the fMRT process, which is short for functional magnetic resonance imaging to “get a glimpse into the head of consumers.”

Here’s what he found:

“Our brains usually run on autopilot, despite making us believe we know what we are doing.”

“90 percent of all purchasing decisions are not made consciously.”

“Most purchasing decisions take as little as 2.5 seconds.”

“Brodmann Area 10 in the human brain’s frontal cortex is activated if someone ‘thinks a product is really cool’. This area is linked to self-awareness and emotions.”

“Brands and products that evoke our emotions, like Apple, Coca-Cola or Nivea, always win.”

According to Peter Noel Murray Ph.D.,

fMRI neuro-imagery shows that when evaluating brands, consumers primarily use emotions (personal feelings and experiences) rather than information (brand attributes, features and facts).

The bottom line here is that we’re far from being rational creatures with our purchasing decisions.

We’re quite the opposite, actually.

At the end of the day, we’re largely compelled to buy one product over another simply because it appeals more to our emotions.

But what drives these emotions?

Emotions are ultimately interconnected with our needs.

While each person’s specific needs can vary, all humans have virtually the same basic needs, and we are continually pursuing them.

This brings me to an old school psychological concept (from 1943) that I feel still carries just as much weight today as it did back then.

It’s Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which looks like this:

This model shows our hierarchy of needs and breaks them down in terms of importance and priority.

Our most pressing need at the moment motivates our behavior.

Whether it’s as basic as buying bottled water when we’re thirsty or buying the latest model iPhone to gain the respect and admiration of our peers, we’re always looking to have our needs fulfilled.

Your job as a marketer

When you get right down to it, your job is quite simple and breaks down into three basic steps:

Understand the needs of your audience

Understand what their psychological drive is compelling them to seek

Influence their behavior to appeal to their needs

Of course, there’s a lot involved with this. It’s a huge topic to tackle.

But here are the essentials of emotional advertising on your landing page.

Following these basic principles should point you in the right direction and can increase your overall conversion rate considerably.

Start with visuals

I think we can all agree that humans respond well to visuals.

In fact, I’ve written multiple articles on the power of images.

But there’s one particular type of image you’ll want to focus on with your landing page: pictures of people.

Why?

This is one of the most effective ways to evoke an emotion in a visitor.

In fact, there’s a term in psychology known as mirroring, where “one person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern or attitude of another.”

It’s a scientific fact, ya’ll.

The trick here is to use images of people exhibiting the emotion you want your audience to feel.

Take this landing page from Lyft, for example:

Their goal was to show how easy and enjoyable it is to make money as a Lyft driver.

And here’s another little trick.

Using images as a guide to your CTA can have a powerful impact.

According to Talia Wolf of Unbounce,

60 percent of our brain is geared towards visual context, so the first thing we see is visual. It’s important to use the images on your page in order to guide user attention.

In other words, you should use your images as directional cues whenever possible.

For instance, you might have a person looking at your CTA.

Use the right color scheme

Next, there’s the issue of color.

Color is huge, and you don’t want to haphazardly construct a landing page without taking this factor into careful consideration.

How do you choose a color scheme?

Well, it starts with understanding colors as emotional triggers.

Here’s an illustration of a color wheel to show you what I mean:

The key is to match your color scheme with the emotion(s) you’re trying to draw out of your visitors.

I’ll give you an example.

Here is a screenshot of a landing page on NeilPatel.com:

Notice that I chose orange as my color scheme. This wasn’t by chance.

My goal was to connect with optimistic business owners hungry to grow their companies. I love connecting with eager, growth-driven people. Orange is the perfect color for that!

I also wanted to convey feelings of friendliness and approachability.

Now, I’m not saying that you have to follow the color wheel to a T, but you should definitely use it as a rough guide when determining which colors to use on your landing page.

That, right there, can have a tremendous impact.

Set their minds at ease

Let’s be honest.

Many of the leads visiting your landing page will be skeptical.

There are a lot of charlatans and snake oil salesmen out there who over-promise and under-deliver.

You need to make it a point to calm your visitors’ anxieties and alleviate any fears they may have.

Below is an example of a landing page that does this well.

It’s from H.Bloom, a luxury flower delivery service:

Notice how they clearly explain the three-step process of “design, schedule and enjoy.”

The page very simply highlights what people can expect if they choose to do business with H.Bloom.

Customers know that they won’t get sucked into some over-complicated service that’s only going to cause them stress.

There are several other areas you may want to address to set your leads’ minds at ease, which can include:

testimonials from satisfied customers

mentioning the number of customers you’ve served (e.g., over 100,000 customers have used our software)

Trust icons like the ones at the bottom of this Shopify landing page (being featured by The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and so on immediately adds legitimacy)

Use language that reminds visitors of their pain

If you really want to grab someone’s attention, remind them of their primary pain point.

For instance, an acne removal product might remind visitors of the distress that severe pimples are causing them.

A company selling a knee brace might remind visitors of how difficult it is living with chronic knee pain.

You don’t want to go overboard, but a subtle reminder can serve as a strong motivator to buy your product/service.

I think LifeLock really nails it with this landing page:

In this case, they rouse your fear of being a victim of identity theft.

The point here is to present a specific pain point and show how your product/service will alleviate it.

Use emotionally-driven words

The last thing I’d like to discuss is the actual words you use in your copy.

Copywriting relies upon more than simply writing well.

For it to be effective and turn leads into customers, it must:

have a clearly defined purpose

target your core audience

be simple

be persuasive

lend credibility to your brand

motivate visitors to buy

I don’t have the time here to tackle copywriting in its entirety.

But I do have a simple tip that can help you effectively evoke the right emotions from your leads.

And that’s to use emotional words.

Here’s an example of words associated with pleasant feelings:

Check out this link for a more comprehensive list of emotional words. It also includes words associated with unpleasant

This list should help you decide on a few key words to include into your copy.

For a more exhaustive look at copywriting, I recommend reading The Definitive Guide to Copywriting that I co-authored.

It covers virtually everything you need to know.

Conclusion

Let’s recap.

Humans are emotional creatures, and most of our purchasing decisions are based primarily on emotion.

There’s just no getting around it.

Understanding this phenomenon is the first step to creating an airtight landing page.

By utilizing the right psychology-based strategies, such as visuals, colors, and so on, you can target key emotions and increase the odds of your leads responding favorably (making a purchase).

And the payoff is obvious: an increased conversion rate for maximum ROI.

If your landing page is lacking emotional advertising, you’ll want to address this issue right away.

Can you think of any other ways to target landing page visitors on an emotional level?

from Social Media Marketing http://ift.tt/2k3eLF5 via Social Media Marketing

#Social Media Marketing

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aoasime · 7 years

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Taking adderall is a beautiful fucking thing for me. Because I'm quiet ADHD and I never really remember that until I stop taking it for awhile and then I'm life getting distracted doing the easiest stuff ever lol. But when I do take it, I can really produce some quality shit, pretty quickly too. Once again with finding a grey area, I am going to have to work at balancing this. I love being goofy and tired at night, I love being warm and friendly and happy. Adderall robs me of some of the parts of me that aren't my ADHD and that are my personality. Like I'm naturally silly and quick witted, I'm warm and cuddly and affectionate. Adderall can make me a stone cold bitch I will tell you that lol. Also it can make me on edge, angry and paranoid. I feel like that's because I'm certain situations where when I'm not on adderall I might react w humor or a water under the bridge mentality, where as when I'm on adderall I'm like ight let's dissect every thing going on here get completely lost in the sauce and not talk for 3 hours :-) but really I just gotta watch myself on this junk. Even at work I don't need it often and being highly sensitive it can COMPLETELY over load me. Like wow lol. And smoking, it makes me smoke like it's keeping me alive. But adderall can really help me out sometimes. It can help me like work at things for hours which when it comes to music, it's helpful. I spent a few hours on ableton earlier playing around and ugh if I had a laptop I would be doing the same thing. I wanna like make music. There's a lot of information out there waiting for me to consume it and I think at some point I gotta like let my control over how I'm gonna consume it, I gotta let it go. And work with what I have. Like not having a laptop or computer to work on is hard lol, I wanna be making music and recording stuff and like idk. By the time I'm 22, if I don't have a decent music set up imma be disappointed in myself because it's like all in my reach I'm just gonna need to work. And truly I can be inconsistent with work and it's frustrating and like one slip up at work and can have me feeling bad about myself as a whole and it's something I need to work on. That grey area soooonnnn. Because I am so capable. Right now is like gonna be a hard time, these next few weeks I have to find out what I'm going to do. I basically have to move out at this point and like bro no car no license so I've really put myself in a bad situation that's gonna take some real dedication and like a strong stance on what is necessary and important and what is gonna pass with time. Like I don't even have a job right now and I'm waiting on an interview but like boi that ain't shit ATM. I need moooolah cold hard cash my friends. Like I made a decision to not return to Oregon even though I would have had a car, stable life at home, and yada yada yards but like I don't think it would make me happy. Honestly goals would be in like 5 years to be living in New York so might as well like stay on this side of the country ya dig. I mean living situation right now is up in the air until I get a little bank but like I'm really not gonna worry until those issues are right in front of me. Too much stress like that. Worst comes to worst I actually have a few shelters that I can stay at while I get money. And like I don't wanna say that sounding like I think that's not like a hard thing to go thru or like it's easy to live in a homeless shelter but I mean I'm basically preparing myself mentally for that concept if it does become that way. No need for like surprises in that sense. I also keep fucking forgetting I have a car in my driveway w my name on the title. Like $500 at least for that sucker and it's just money to be saved and put towards an apartment or even a hotel if the time comes. I also like have to get a fucking job. And I want something that I'm not gonna kill myself doing and not gonna be out of the way in terms of finding a ride. Like this is gonna be the ULTIMATE test of who I am as a person lol. This is all completely on me. And if I fail I fucking fail bad and if I get it together it's like completely fucking reassuring that I'm gonna be okay. Typically it's pretty easy for me to land a job to just about being confident and fuckin LOVING myself and going no matter what I feel, like it doesn't matter if I explode walking into work as long as I'm in work like then they obviously will send me home if I am an explosion they can't have that in the store come on now. Like I'm so capable and strong and I'm like right there like right before u cum like RIGHT there and either I'm gonna lose the rhythm and break focus or I'm gonna bust and bOI am I tryna fuckin BUST !!!!!!!

#moi

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morningmindsetpodcast-blog · 6 years

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MM151 - Investing in Yourself | MM Book Study Pt. 9

There are two primary forms of investment capital; time and money. What you need to ask yourself is; am I worth the investment of the money and the time? How do you spend your time and money?

If you like the show, please check out our Official Morning Mindset Merchandise!

Episode Transcription

[INTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Welcome to Morning Mindset. A daily dose of practical wit and wisdom with a professional educator & trainer, Amazon best selling author, United States Marine, Television, and Radio host, Paul G. Markel. Each episode will focus on positive and productive ways to strengthen your mindset and help you improve your relationships, career goals, and overall well-being. Please welcome your host; Paul G. Markel.

*Professor Paul*

Hello and welcome back to Morning Mindset. I'm your host Paul Markel and we're continuing on as we did and has we have been doing. You're probably getting tired of hearing me say that I'm continuing with the book study, but have a little mercy because not everybody has been paying attention this whole time, and some people are new. We get new listeners every single day.

If you are brand-new, if you're just now picking up on this, I'm going to tell you something. This is part 9 of our 30 part book study program. That's right, it's the Morning Mindset book a 30 day plan for more positive and productive life. It's available on Amazon Kindle, and if you want a signed copy go to MorningMindsetPodcast.com.

Alright today. We're going to talk about investing in yourself. Are you worth it? Now when it comes to Investments, we have two primary tools that we will use for investment. We will use our money, and we will use our time. Now you can always get more money. Yes you can, you can always get more money.

You cannot get more time. No, you can't ladies and gentlemen, you only have a finite amount of time, 24 hours in the day. So we obviously want to invest our time and our money wisely. When it comes to investing in yourself, I'm going to ask you this, are you spending your time and your money primarily to distract and entertain yourself?

Do you spend your time watching television or watching sports games, or do you spend your time reading or studying, or do you break it up amongst the two? I don't expect you to be a monk and do nothing but read all the time, but if you don't have time to read to take in information if you don't have time for that because the game is on, or your favorite show is on, that is an investment that you are wasting.

You’re wasting an investment. Often people will say “Well, you know, I was going to take this class or I wanted to take this training or friend of mine told me about it. But you know, I would have to go somewhere else. I would have to drive to this other city and stay in a hotel” and yada yada and so on so forth. That's true in you know, depending on what it is that your field of endeavor is, I don't know what your favorite field of endeavor and what you're trying to be good at or what you are interested in.

But often unless you live in a really large Metroplex, the person or the class that you want to take person you want to see the class you want to take is not there where you are. You may have to actually travel to do that. Now I've done that a great amount of times. I've done this several times before I joined the military, before I joined the Marine Corps. I spent my own money, I took my own time and I traveled all the way across the country for training.

Then I did a lot of training, obviously, with the United States military then I got out and I went right back to traveling and training on my own dime and I've been doing that pretty much my entire adult life. Yes, it is an investment. It is an investment in my time, it's an investment in my money. But what am I investing in?

I'm investing in myself and you need to ask yourself that. Are you investing your time and your money in yourself in self-improvement? Are you growing as a person? Based upon your time investment and your monetary investment, or do you spend all of your time entertaining or distracting yourself?

I mean, let's face it in our modern world, there are so many available distractions. You have your iPhone, you have your television, you have your tablet, your laptop, your whatever. There's all kinds of devices and avenues that you can use to distract yourself. Time-wasters, you know, you can you can play these silly little gem drop games or poke the whatever animal games or I don't know number on your phone.

I see the kids doing this, and their time wasters and people will even admit that “I know, I got nothing to do. I'm just going to open this app on my phone and do this mindless stuff.” Now sometimes, don't get me wrong. Sometimes it's good just to give your mind a break and well, you know, I like to watch television for to give my mind to break.

Often what I'll do after a long day if I've been writing or if I've been producing material or what have you, if I've been thinking and performing and doing something very, very thoughtful and deliberate. I put a lot of mental energy into whether it's the producing the video or the audio or writing and then at the end of the day, I don't want to think anymore.

But I want something else think for me and so I'll sit in an easy chair and I'll turn on the television or watch a show or watch a movie or what have you and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But if I'm not writing, if I'm not producing, if I'm not, you know doing thoughtful endeavors because the TV or the game or the whatever, that I'm wasting my time, not investing my time properly, and when it comes to money, yes, everybody has a certain amount of disposable income, right?

You do, I do, everyone does, even rich people. Even people that you look at and you're like “Man that guy's rich” even that successful person still only has a certain amount of disposable income, and what are you going to spend that on often when I hear people say things like “Oh, I just yeah, I'd like to take that training. I like to do that class or you know, go back to school or whatever but I just can't afford it”, and that may be true.

But what are you spending your money on? What are you investing it in? Are you every day, do you go out for lunch, and you spend $9-10 eating out? You know during the day you go to the vending machine and you spend anywhere from $3-5 a day at the vending machines, you buy cigarettes, whatever people will spend and waste all kinds of money.

You stop on the way to work and you get a $3 cup of coffee and a muffin or whatever, and people say “Oh you just understand. I don't have the money” and I could follow him around for one day or you know a couple of days and say look, did you just waste it literally you wasted 20 30 50 dollars, and you said “Well, I don't want to buy that. I don't want to buy that book because it's $24.99 and that's way too much.”

But you'll waste five dollars a day going back and forth to a vending machine, or $3 cups of coffee or what have you, and you can spend your money on anything you want. I'm not here to judge. But when you say if you say things like if you make excuses, like I can't I don't have the time. I don't have the money. I to do what it's you that you're investing your time and money in.

If you're buying books, if you're taking training, if you're traveling to a school or what have you, you're investing in yourself and my biggest question to you is, when you look in the mirror, when you do that gut check, do you believe that you are worth investing in? You know, a really simple equation or really simple example?

Gym time, like “I just don't have time. I don't have time. I know that's cool, and I know I should but I don't have time.” Do you really not have time or you not willing to invest the time? You know, when I do the starting strength program, started doing that and I go into the gym and I do the warm-ups and I do the exercises and I do everything that I'm supposed to do.

It'll take me anywhere from 90 minutes to two hours appear like oh that's way too long. I some of that time I don't have the time and there are times when I feel like it's a lot of time and I need to be doing other stuff, but it is an investment. I'm taking that 90 minutes to two hours and I'm investing it in me and at the end of the day you need to ask yourself.

You need to have a serious honest discussion with. When it comes to investing your time when it comes to investing your money, are you worth it? Yes or no. Alright, that's it for today. Thank you very much for joining me. I am your host Paul Markel and I will talk to you again, real soon.

[OUTRO]

♫ Trenches by Pop Evil ♫

*Alex*

Thank you for spending time with us today. To get show notes, submit a topic request, for more from your host Paul G. Markel, visit MorningMindsetPodcast.com. That’s MorningMindsetPodcast.com. Please leave a review of this podcast on your favorite podcast player, we appreciate your time & effort, and we look forward to reading your honest feedback.

Download this Episode!

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otcsocialnetwork · 6 years

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ONCI UPDATED 1/23/18

$ONCI UPDATED 1/23/18 ONCI–HEXAGON HOLDINGS We’re looking at a start-up about 20 months old, run by a seasoned and experienced CEO who is using all his knowledge, talents, and connections to build a revenue-generating monster. He’s brought on great names such as Peter Einstein, Bill Jenkins, and Eric Ritter who have aided in bringing huge revenues to one piece of one arm of our company. Here’s Einstein’s linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/peter-einstein-a032075/ I challenge anyone to find me a pinky CEO that has accomplished as much as Steve Berman has in the last 20 months. Oh yeah, broken promises, yada yada. Well, YOU try running a new public company and tell me there are no potholes along the way slowing down its intended progress. The only thing, THE ONLY THING one can accuse SB of is being a bit too over-enthusiastic about what the future holds here and jumping the gun with some of the company’s developments. But at the end of the day, these developments will come to fruition. The revenues that are coming will prove this. ONCI–Now, let’s look at what we have here: a fast-growing company with 6 arms or holdings. Steve has shared with us how back in March of 2016, he had goals of turning a dormant company into something very alluring and worthy of investment. So far, he brought the stock price from .0001 to .0192 since then. Yes, it has settled into a channel here at .005. Still not a bad increase from its humble beginnings. I can tell you that our CEO is far from satisfied with this. He is working hard to see this rise to new highs. Look at all those reported sales. HE WOULD NOT REPORT THEM IF THEY DID NOT HAPPEN. The revs are coming in from these monthly. And this is just from one piece of one of six arms. Let’s look into SB’s explanation of all 6 divisions: App & App Design Manufacturing Dental Care Digital Media Some form of Cannabis Related Company TBA in 2018 and will be HUGE! . App & App Design . BSafe Mobile leads the way with their roster of apps. The safe driving app is available for both iPhone and Android users. Distraction Driving is a hot topic as more deaths are being attributed to distracted drivers than people who died from cancer. Its the “Perfect Storm of Apps” claims CEO Steve Berman. The app will notify the admin of the vehicle and in which the admin can then turn off the phone. When the car’s wheels starting rolling and the driver is using the mobile device, the admin will be notified and can chose to power off the device. This app and its technology is huge on a global level. Orders keep flowing (see recent press) and much more contracts and revenues are set to be announced over the coming weeks. . Other apps include: . FleetSafer… like the BSafe app, the FleetSafer app will allow an admin who can monitor up to 10,000 vehicles, the ability to see the location of their vehicle, the drivers patterns and more. BFoundMobile… A great example is a rent a car agency. If someone picks up a car in lets say St. Louis, Missouri, and rents it for a week, the renter has no idea where that vehicle is at any given time, nor how many miles have been put on it or anything. The only thing they know per the renter’s agreement is that the car will be delivered back by such and such time. The app will allow them to know where the car is at any given time. This is perfect for agencies like Hertz, Budget, Avis, Enterprise etc. Certain apps may have the ability to do this but they works by GPS, and will not work when underground. This app works by apple beacon so even when underground the admin will still know the location of the vehicle. OK Golfer… an app used by golfers to ultimately speed up the round of golf by providing distance to the flag and selecting what club the golfer should use. This will help elevate a lot of unnecessary thinking, guessing and judgement time. Golf Gamble… is in the beta testing phase. The app will allow the golfer to wager money in attempt to double or triple their money based on how close they can get their ball to the pin or hole. Preliminary numbers were 90% of the time golfers will lose, making it a potentially profitable app not only for the company but for the golf courses whom they partner with. Drive Sober…also in beta testing, will work by having a device on the visor. The device will pick up the alcohol levels on their breath and monitor the admin. The admin, usually the car’s owner or parent, will then have the ability to stop the driver from driving while potentially under the influence. Another app with the intention of saving lives and wrongful deaths. Child Car Seat App… will work based on a sensor attached to the child’s car seat. The sensor will notify the admin when the temperature inside the vehicle reaches an unsafe level, if and when the parent leaves the child unattended. This app is an attempt to stop wrongful deaths of children due to heat exertion. Urgent Dentist…will allow you to find an urgent care dentist location near you, rather than having to wait until the next day to see a dentist. This app ties along with the DENTAL CARE arm of the company mentioned below. . Manufacturing . While the company plans on using its factories to make its devices between the hours of 9am and 9pm, it will seek additional revenues by renting the factories from 9pm to 8am. This could generate $6000 a day and have the lines running 24/7. The company would like to open factory locations across the globe at locations such as Canada, China, Budapest, Brazil, Prague, and the United States. The goal is to optimize the lines so that if they are not making product to fulfill orders, then they are being leased by someone else to generate maximum revenues. . Dental Care . The company wants to start off by using an office space at around 30 Urgent Care facilities over the next 24 months. The opportunity to get immediate dental care is huge. An example was given where if you have bad tooth pain or a broken tooth at 9pm at night, there is nothing you can do at the moment other than hope someone will see you when offices open at 9am. Being located in an Urgent Care facility, it will allow a person in need the option of getting immediate help by visiting of the locations. (also ties in with the app) The company will then give the Urgent Care facility a royalty and allow them to also do the medical billing. This will save the company $5000. It will be rolled out i the NY tri-state area. He also talked about plans to make the Dental Care “mobile”, where they will bring dentistry to locations such as homes for the elderly. All the equipment including tools, chairs, machines etc. will be brought in. A dental hygienist could be rented/paid $300 for the day, and they could see on average 15 patients. If they were to bill the insurance companies $50 for the appointment, that would be $750, making it very profitable based on only having to pay $300 for the hygienist. An actual dentist may run $800 a day, but the revenues from his services would be much more than $800, thus making it a profitable venture also. This business model, multiplied by many locations in eventually many states will add up nicely. Steve wants to build many revenue streams and have the company earning money every day. HE ALSO PURCHASED A PROFITABLE DENTAL PRACTICE IN NY CURRENTLY DOING 2 MILLION A YEAR: October 11, 2017: ON4 COMMUNICATIONS ANNOUNCES IT HAS AGREED TO ACQUIRE A NEW YORK DENTAL GROUP AND PLANS TO OPEN 30 URGENT CARE DENTAL OFFICES WITHIN THE NEXT 36 MONTHS . Digital Media . The 4th division wants to focus on “retinal scan” technology that will allow ad agencies the ability to target which ads are displayed based on recognizing its viewer. In example, if the digital ad display notices a middle aged man it will show “work boots”, while if it recognizes 3 teen girls, it may show a T-Mobile ad for cell phone service and a young woman possibly perfume. Having the ability to target your audience brings tremendous value to advertisers allowing them to get the best bang for their buck. Ads that can be quantified at stadiums, malls, theaters and gas stations are just a few immediate opportunities for the company. . Cannabis Related . Very little info was mentioned on the 5th arm of the company. It sounds as if it will be Canadian related and that due diligence has been going on with certain companies. They are going through the books of a few companies and looking for profitable ventures that they can exploit and make even more profitable. Tweets hint at the purchase of 100 acres of grow space in PEI Canada. . TBA (To Be Announced) in 2018 . This was an eye opener. When the CEO stated the new venture will be so big and will make so much money that everyone will be able to buy new houses… I was WOWed! I understand this is a forward looking statements, but he was definitely optimistic about what he has planned for next year. . After going through the 6 legs/arms or divisions of Hexagon Holdings, Mr. Berman re-emphasized the significance of a “holdings” company and its flexibility. The beauty of having multiple holdings is that if one of the entities fails, the company doesn’t go under because there will be 5 other revenue producing holdings that keep it strong and running. The remainder of the call touched on: . Whats going on with Dubai? Recent New Hires Updates with Car Companies Upcoming News Closing Shareholder Questions . 15 Million Dubai Women To Get Their Driver’s Licenses . Exciting times are upon the women in Dubai, as January 1st, new laws will allow women the ability to drive causing a massive influx of new drivers. The company has been in discussion with 2 major firms who have reviewed the product and now wish to discuss pricing and contracts. Steve and staff will be going to Dubai for a week and already have 14 meetings set up and numerous dinners. He discussed the significant opportunity their Drive Safe App offered the companies and people of the area, especially the United Emirates. In that country, if you are caught texting on your phone, it is a $1000 fine. Your second offense, you lose both your license to drive and your car! . The company has over 100 Employees , Most are commission based reps through our distribution channels. This is a win win scenario for the company in controlling payroll expenses. The more they payout will result in more sales. . Peter Einstein, he complimented and said he really is an Einstein, has experience working with MTV Europe and has played a key role in setting up sales and meetings with Dubai, the middle east, Ireland, England and Serbia. Eric Ritter, who is in Florida, has been working with Lawyers down there Bill Jenkins, ex NASCAR owner, who was highly complimented, being called, smart, bright, scientific, comprehensive and a great marketer, will generate significant future revenues for the company. Anyone familiar with a NASCAR vehicle understands the car itself is an advertisement with logo’s of sponsors all over. I have a feeling his expertise will not only help on the be safe car app, but also the digital media side . Dealing with the Auto Industry . Along with 4 auto companies, Mr. Berman discussed some of their marketing efforts. . Facebook… advertising is generating sales, clients and followers, SKY COMMUNICATIONS will unveil the ad campaign any day now. Enterprise Rent A Car… can not comment as he is still under an NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement) BMW… they have had good meetings. BMW has requested the app be in 7 languages. To date, 4 are done so far. As soon as the last 3 languages are complete there will be testing done. Steve was unsure just how long these tests will take. BMW has asked for minor adjustments and have been addressed. FORD… likes the product and has increased their demands for what the app can do. They wish for the app to also act as a diagnostic tool, such as indicate why and when your engine light is on. Anti tampering was an issue they are addressing. CHRYSLER… has a similar response as Ford. Middle East contracts are on the way! The Dubai car show resulted in nearly 12 companies testing BsafeMobile and BfoundMobile. One potential contract is from Careem, the Uber of the ME with over 100k drivers. . Major News Is Coming! . Its going to be an exciting next couple of months, as the CEO divulged they have 10 deals in place that will bring in between $200k to $1m each over the next 2 weeks. If that wasn’t good enough, ONCI will have a signed LOI with a large insurance company that has 2 million drivers and insure 1,000 dealerships. They are expecting an order of 500+ units a month. . Additional Shareholder Questions . How many factories do you have? At the moment they have 2 factories producing 2-3000 units a month. One is located in NY and one in Canada. . Was there a share reduction? There will be a reduction, that will be revealed with the FINRA filing, that it was reduced by 1.4 billion shares from both the Authorized shares (A/S) and the Outstanding Shares (O/S). Steve mentioned it may end up going up a tad because they will be seeking the ability to raise money for future projects. . Who is your biggest competitor? Apple is, but with their safe driving app, it is “voluntary” versus admin based. To hear the call for yourself, go to: https://soundcloud.com/ant-chance/confenence-call-onci-111017 . Existing App Sales: January 19, 2018 – ON4 COMMUNICATIONS ANNOUNCES EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTION DEAL WITH CATACLEAN FOR BSAFEMOBILE IN GREAT BRITAIN AND IRELAND January 17, 2018 – ON4 COMMUNICATIONS ANNOUNCES $1.65m IN NEW CONTRACTS, SIGNS GARDEN CITY NISSAN,LARGEST NISSAN DEALER IN THE WORLD December 5 2017 – ON4 COMMUNICATIONS ANNOUNCES DISTRIBUTION DEAL WITH CAPOLI SALES November 29, 2017 – ON4 COMMUNICATIONS ANNOUNCES $1.44M CONTRACT WITH A TEXAS DEALER GROUP AND A DISTRIBUTION DEAL WITH SCULLY LEMOINE MARKETING.. November 7, 2017 – Contract with a major European Taxi Service with locations in Czech Republic, Hungary and Romania. They will be taking 500 units per month for 4 months beginning February 2018. $400,000 October 24, 2017 – Executed a 3000 unit contract with a large middle eastern multinational company with a fleet of vehicles which tops 7500 cars, Suv’s and trucks. $600,000 to $1,500,000 October 24, 2017 – Contract with a large after-market group with access to 450 dealerships throughout Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina and Virginia. This group will be selling Bsafe Mobile and Bfound mobile into its dealer network. This adds approximately 450 prospective clients to the Bsafe Family. $1,000,00 annual conservatively October 18, 2017 – Pilot program with a large Middle Eastern Taxi Fleet with over 10,000 taxis throughout 4 different countries including Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, UAE and Egypt. $100,000 Pilot Test October 18, 2017 – Contract with Gunther Motors with brands including VW,2 dealerships, Mazda and Kia. $216,000 annual October 16, 2017 – Contract with a 7 dealer West Texas auto group with brands including Jeep, Dodge Trucks, Ford, Toyota, Nissan, Chevy and Hyundai. $588,000 annual October 16, 2017 – Contract with a 6 Dealer South Florida Auto group with brands including Toyota, Nissan, Acura, Kia, Jeep and Hyundai. $432,000 annual October 11, 2017 – Contract with a 7 dealer Massachusetts based auto group, with brands including Chevy, Nissan, Toyota, Hyundai, BMW, Ford and Jeep. $420,000 annual September 29, 2017 – Contract with a northern Florida auto group with 6 dealerships including Chevy, Kia, Hyundai, Ford, Nissan and Toyota. $288,000 annual September 29, 2017 – Contract with a large southwestern extended warranty company; we will be selling their products which include extended warranties, tire and wheel and other after-market products in our dealer network and they will be selling our apps in their dealer network. $120,000 annual September 29, 2017 – A central Florida dealer group with 5 dealerships in Tampa and Orlando and brands including Chevy, GMC, KIA, Hyundai and Audi. $240,000 annual September 27, 2017 – A 4 dealer Toyota Group in the NY tri-state area: one dealer in NY, one in NJ and 2 in CT. $480,000 annual September 22, 2017 – A 250 Dealer Extended Warranty Company in New York. $480,000 annual September 20, 2017 – A 5 dealer group in NY with Brands including Nissan, Jeep and Volvo. $240,000 annual September 13, 2017 – JV with Title King a division of New America Energy Corp. $600,000 annual September 13, 2017 — Contract with Pennsylvania/New Jersey dealer Group with brands including Jeep, Kia, Chevy, Ford, Alpha Romeo, GM, Hyundai and Nissan. $1,000,000 annual September 8, 2017 — Contract with 25 dealerships in Los Angeles and Orange county California each dealership will take 20 units per month. $1,200,000 September 8, 2017 – Acquisition includes FLEET SAFER which generated over 1 million in sales last year. $1,000,000 September 1, 2017 — Signed a contract with a 10 dealer group in Arizona at 150 units per month at $250 per unit. $450,000 August 29, 2017 — Executed a contract with a 5 dealer auto group in Long Island New York with brands including Toyota, Nissan Chevy, Kia and Ford. $360,000 annual August 24, 2017 — Ford Fleet services has asked us to put 1000 units on reserve as they have a Large Mid Western Utility Company who has expressed interest in not only our FMS Safe Driving App but also our Global Tracking Device. $200,000 trial run with HUGE potential August 21, 2017 — Executed a contract with a large Mid Atlantic dealer group with locations in Virginia, Maryland, Delaware and Washington DC. $432,000 annual August 17, 2017 — Signed a deal with a large luxury dealer group in Texas including such brands as Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, Audi, Lincoln, Cadillac, Porsche and Infiniti. $480,000 annual August 11 2017 — Executed a contract with Google Brazil yesterday. $2,000,000 annual August 3, 2017 – Partnered deal with Assurant – purchased 500 units to start and asked us to put another 500 on hold. $200,000 and growing! August 1, 2017 — Entered into a marketing agreement with one of the largest worldwide online shopping sites with access to over 50 million customers. Berman reported via phone call – selling 20-40 units per day. $2,000,000 annual June 26 2017 – Signed a deal with a leading Auto Dealer group in South America representing Nissan, Toyota, GM, Ford, Land Rover, Kia and Hyundai. $300,000 annual April 19, 2017 — Received a $100K order for Drive Safe App from 1 of the leading Asian auto manufacturers with HQ’s based in Korea and Japan. $100,000 January 24, 2017 — Secured 8 new Auto Dealer Vendors in Florida State for Drive Safe App. $672,000 annual December 23, 2016 — Drive Safe App installed on a large Taxi fleet in the North-East USA, first 250 vehicles during the 2nd week of January 2017 increasing until full installation has been completed in the company’s 1500 vehicle Taxi fleet. $300,000 December 19, 2016 — Launch of their proprietary Drive Safe App with a large Food & Beverage distributor. $50,000 Anyone who thinks the CEO would risk jail by lying about the above needs to invest elsewhere. At the end of the day, you either believe or not. But think long and hard about WHO you believe. Our CEO and his past and present accomplishments, or the nameless posters who laugh in all-caps with no DD to back up their outrageous claims? The single-most issue here, what has hurt our PPS, is the delay in the name change. We were promised this months ago and it has not happened. Why? Well, I’ve been through this before. FINRA requires a lot i-dotting and t-crossing, each and every event needing lawyerly eyes. Much more than our CEO ever expected. He wants this as much as we do. IT WILL COME! Every day we are closer to this happening. And when it does…look out. Add in the audited fins (also a major crunch involving countless lawyer meetings), and ONCI will leave sub-penny land forever. I love watching small companies grow into big companies. It’s happening here, right before our eyes. About CEO Steve Berman Steve is a New York native with over 30 years of sales success and executive leadership experience. Steve is a successful entrepreneur, having founded several companies and serving in the CEO role. In his various roles managing and building various businesses, Steve has been instrumental in securing capital financings for several public and private companies, including start-ups and pre-revenue businesses. Most recently, Steve co-founded 3DMC, a premier digital multimedia company; and also served as CEO of Stealth Sports and Marketing, a consulting firm specializing in marketing and multimedia solutions to professional sports teams. Prior to working with 3DMC and Stealth, Steve held the positions of Senior Vice President at YES Network (www.YesNetwork.com), the number one regional sports network in the country. Throughout his career, Steve developed key relationships in the top 10 markets and was responsible for developing the advertising platform for YES, which was directly linked with significant sales increases for YES Network. Before his tenure at YES Network, Steve served as Senior Vice President of Time Warner Cable NY, where he successfully grew the company’s advertising sales from $11m to well over $100m and increased national sales by 200%. During his time at Time Warner NY, the company became the number one billing cable market in the US. http://dlvr.it/QD0gtc

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