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#y'all dont get to see it but once or twice a month anyways lol
espy-heart · 1 month
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amaralanegra · 6 years
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Into the Abyss (and back into you)
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Chapter 1:  First Day
Pairings: A LOT
Warnings: none atm
Summary: After being rescued, child soldier survivor Bucky Barnes tries his hardest to have a normal, ordinary high school life despite the terrors that still haunt him. One day, he receives an email that he thought would never come -- the private investigator he had hired found his mother. He has to make a plan and act quick if he doesn't want to lose her again. Sam Wilson, aspiring therapist, loves his family and his friends. After his best friend Bucky cuts off communication from their friend group, his sister goes missing. A hashtag, a social media movement, a nationwide search. But there's no trace of her. After finishing high school, Bucky contacts him once more, telling him that he knows where to find his sister. With the help of his friends, they all travel throughout the United States to find Sam's sister and Bucky's mother. And perhaps love in the way, too.
A/N: DONT FORGET TO LIKE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE
Steve♢ is online
Erik ( ಠ ಠ) is online
Bucky ( ˘-___-) is online
Sammy is online
 Steve ♢: first day of school o(*^▽^*)o
Steve ♢: you guys excited?
Erik ( ಠ ಠ): of course
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): i cant wait to finally step into that hellhole we call school
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): and die.
Bucky ( ˘-__-): ^
Sammy: facts
Steve ♢: you guys…
Steve ♢: we only have this year together!
Steve ♢: we gotta enjoy it!
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): oh ill enjoy it alright
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): im always happy whenever i get home from school u know
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): its a good change from the crippling depression i feel whenever i step into those shitty gates of hell
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): did i also mention i get diabetes type fuck-school whenever i enter school
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): its life-threatening steve
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): i could die
Sammy: tick tock then bitch
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): shut up sam
Steve ♢: come ooooon
Steve ♢: you'll be ok! You have me, Sam and Bucky!
Steve ♢: i honestly think this year will be great! Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): yeah
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): i hope so too
Sammy: Alright Steve we'll see you at school
Sammy: I’m about to start driving now
Steve ♢: ok, see you guys! Bucky ( ˘-___-): Oh hey btw
Bucky ( ˘-___-): Don't forget to eat
Bucky ( ˘-___-): You always skip breakfast...
Bucky ( ˘-___-): At least drink orange juice
Bucky ( ˘-___-): That should help a bit
Steve ♢: yep!
Steve ♢: i won’t forget (。・ω・。)ノ
Bucky ( ˘-___-): Good!
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): gay
Bucky ( ˘-___-): I meant that in the most heterosexual way possible
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): when do you ever
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): remember that time you pulled down Steve’s pants while we were at the pool high af
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): because i do
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): and his ass...
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): it haunts me
Steve ♢: i tend to have that effect on people.
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): i haven’t been able to sleep since then Steve
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): you monster
Bucky ( ˘-___-): Erik hurry up we’re already waiting outside
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): dont you fucking try to change the subject
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): remember that time you pole danced and strip teased when you were drunk out of your mind
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): because i do
Steve ♢: but that happened last month
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): and yet it feels like an eternity
Bucky ( ˘-___-): Why can’t you guys forget the embarrassing shit I do for like once in your lives.
Sammy: cuz it was fucking hilarious thats why LMFAO I think I still have those polaroid pics somewhere
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): n cuz that’s what friends do
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): and apparently for you friendship is also traumatizing me with steves bare ass and your slutty pole dancing
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): i’ve had night terrors ever since
Steve ♢: lol
Bucky ( ˘-___-): Erik. hurry up. before I go in there. and beat you. in the face and ass.
Bucky ( ˘-___-): We’re already late. Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): aw
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): come on you know that my hair takes long
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): shit i should be a model for l'oreal
Sammy: we’re leaving
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): okokokok im going out
Steve ♢: lol be careful
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): we will try
Bucky ( ˘-___-): See you Steve!
Steve ♢: byeee
 Steve ♢ is offline
Bucky ( ˘-___-) is offline
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ) is offline
Sammy is offline
 “About time,” Bucky says as he reclines in his seat and pulls down his beanie with a huff, almost fully covering his eyebrows. Sam looks at the backseat through the rearview mirror as Erik lazily opens the door and sits on the middle of the backseat with a groan, his black hoodie still pulled up and hiding half his face.
���Sorry.” Erik says, sounding annoyed and not sorry at all. Both boys can hear the loud trap music coming from one bud of his gold earphones while the other hangs low down his neck. He leans back and closes his eyes, already looking drained of energy before the day even starts. “There was a problem.”
Sam starts his car while keeping both of his hands on the steering wheel, “What happened?” he asks.
“Is Valentina okay?” Bucky also asks, peeking at him over his shoulder.
Erik rolls his eyes at him. “The goddamn cat is fine.” He sighs and sinks further into his seat. “Nah. Do y'all remember my cousin?” Erik taps Bucky’s shoulder to make him fully turn around, as though he wants him to see the pain in his eyes as he speaks. “The one in Wakanda? Annoying, quiet, and thinks he’s better than everybody else?”
Bucky wrinkles his nose in confusion and looks to the side as he tries to remember, but comes up empty. He shrugs.
“Ah,” Sam says, nodding. “Yes, I remember you fondly telling us about him.”
“Well,” Erik says, putting extra emphasis on the word by rolling his eyes once again. “He moved here. Has been at my house all summer. And I have to share my room with him.”
Bucky nods in silent understanding and Sam keeps driving in silence, expecting Erik to continue talking about how his life is full of struggles. But instead Erik sits there with his arms crossed, his eyebrows knitted together and his lips forming a pout like a child. Bucky would call him cute, but starting his morning with a black eye isn’t on his to-do list.
“And um,” Bucky starts, uncertainty in his voice. “That's it?”
“That is it.” Erik scoffs, sliding further into his seat. “I don't want to share my room with him. Shit, I don't want to share it with anyone! Both him and my little cousin, Shuri, are here. They are filthy fucking rich, I don’t get why they gotta live with us.”
Bucky frowns and nods, trying to understand his unique situation. Sam instead feels the need to nervously scratch the back of his neck, but he doesn't want to let go of the steering wheel thanks to his road anxiety preventing him from even looking away. They know that Erik’s mom has been in a… feud of sorts with Erik’s paternal uncle. Erik wasn’t too specific of course, but they remember it made him upset enough to cry. And while they know he’s a soft guy under all the tough facade he puts on – he can’t say he doesn’t cry when watching the pet adoption commercials (“they are all alone, and sad, and the music doesn’t help, you assholes! Stop laughing!”) or that he doesn’t sing his heart out to the opening of his favorite anime – they also know that Erik loves his father, and he loves his mother, but one of them is gone and he has been too overprotective over the only one left. Erik’s hatred for his uncle has not stopped growing since that fight with his mom.
Remembering this, both boys feel an ache in their chest for their friend, wanting nothing more but to make him smile again.
Bucky is not much of a touchy person, so when he stretches to place his hand on Erik’s knee and shakes it in silent comfort, it doesn’t go overlooked. Erik smiles at him, and when he looks to the side of Bucky he sees Sam looking at him intensely.
“What?” He spats out on impulse under the sharp scrutiny.
Sam blinks once, twice, and finally he speaks. “You’re a better person than that old man is, you know.” He slowly says in that therapeutic, soothing voice of his, causing Erik to pause. “You’re a better person than your cousin, who didn’t stand up for you or your dad. You're kind, and you care so much. You— you're not afraid to fight for what's right. You’re way better than them, Erik, don’t you forget that, okay?”
Looking at him with wide eyes, Erik then slowly smiles, thankful for his best friend’s words. It might not fix it all, but it helps, even if just a little bit. He will be caught dead before he ever admits that, though, so instead he says ‘that’s kinda gay’ and laughs when Sam tells him to get the hell out of his car.
“We're here anyways!” He yells out, laughter still present in his voice.
Sam frantically locks his car and rushes to catch up with Erik and Bucky as both argue excitedly about an anime episode that streamed the night before. “Can one of y’all speak English, please?” He pushes them apart to be in the middle of them. “Or Patwah? Me kno ou to speak dat at least.”
Erik playfully elbows him and answers him with that smugness his teachers hate. “Amabini anokudlala oko umdlalo, uyazi,” he answers back, which makes Sam smile brightly and whisper ‘alright, okay, alright’ while elbowing him back.
Bucky, though, smiles and just watches their friendly bickering, finally feeling at home. He missed this feeling. He missed them both so much.
Somehow, they're already in front of their lockers, all three of them stopping together in order starting from Bucky to Sam to Erik. In fact, that’s how they met in middle school. They happened to have been assigned lockers right next to each other when school first started; Erik arrived first and mistook his locker for Sam’s, and when Sam got there Erik wouldn’t let him get close to it. They almost got into a fistfight until they both saw Bucky trying to open the locker they were both fighting for.
Of course, after all three of them were sent to the principal's office, they’ve been best friends ever since.
Erik starts to fumble with his lock, reciting the combination under his breath like he always does with important things he has to remember, until he hears Bucky whisper to Sam to turn around and look.
“Okoye! Koko!” The voice of some girl catches their attention. They turn their eyes to the row of lockers in front of them to see Okoye ‘Koko’ Milaje turn to her girlfriend just in time to catch her as she throws herself at her. Her girlfriend, Nakia, excitedly throws her arms around her middle, burying her face in her girlfriend’s chest. She says something that only Okoye can hear because she laughs brightly, leans down, and presses a kiss to her forehead.
Sam smiles at Bucky, who smiles back at him and says “girls” as though that explains everything and turns to focus on opening his locker. From the corner of his eye he quickly realizes that only two people stop to stare at the couple, and only one looks like they’re disgusted… though they don’t do anything about it, instead opting to turn away from them. Good, Sam thinks. He doesn't have the time for that bullshit so early in the morning. He turns to mention it to Erik, and his friend’s expression is not the annoyed one he expected for witnessing the kiss since he says to hate ‘corny romantic bullshit’ (which is a lie, because he once caught him intensely watching a telenovela in the middle of history class) but instead his expression is just one of...pain.
Sam frowns, confused. Pain...?
“So that’s why he’s here…” Erik whispers, looking away from them.
Bucky peeks over his shoulder and turns to Erik while Sam orderly puts his belongings inside his locker, who is still looking at Erik from the corner of his eye. “Who?” Bucky asks.
“Huh?” Erik stops harshly throwing his books inside his locker to look at him askew. He comes back to himself soon enough though, and he quickly closes his eyes, shaking his head with a sigh. “No, nothing. I was just talking to myself.”
Both Bucky and Sam look at each other, and suddenly, they feel the need to ask him about it again because the troubled look on their friend’s face bothers them, but the ring of the school bell interrupts before either of them can say anything.
“Well, gotta go.” Erik sighs irritably, slamming his locker door closed. “See y’all later – ah, wait. Both of you have art first period, right? With, uh, Ms. Minako?” He asks.
Sam nods. “Yeah, why?”
“Okay, so, my cousin.” Erik says, adding an eyeroll for extra measure. “He’s coming to our school.” Sam and Bucky both raise their eyebrows in surprise, and Erik nods. “Yeah, he’s gonna come to school here, sadly. For some fucking reason. Anyways, he’s probably going to be late since his dumb ass didn’t wake up on time ‘cuz he was busy moping around and I wasn't going to wait for him. He’s in the same class as y’all, I believe, so if y'all could, you know, show him around… or whatever… I’d be… uh,” he coughs into his fist. “I, uh, I’d appreciate it. Seriously.” His voice turns quieter and softer as he finishes, eyes cast away. He leans from one side to another on his heels like he always does when he’s impatient or nervous.
Bucky raises an eyebrow and decides to tease him. “Hold up,” he quickly leans over him, causing Erik to step back. “You’re asking us for a favor?”
“And does that mean you actually care about your cousin?” Sam asks, wrapping his arm around Erik’s shoulder to join in on teasing him too.
Of course, it’s a trick question. Both Bucky and Sam already know that Erik cares a lot about his family (except for his uncle) and that includes his so called ‘frigid ass cousin’, despite… current events. Erik is simply not an openly affectionate person and he would never admit that he’s not the ‘cold-hearted ass bitch’ he claims to be. He would rather dump all of his anime-inspired clothing than admit to having any sort of normal human feelings whatsoever.
“Fuck off!” He yells, pushing Sam off him as Sam laughs at his little tantrum, and Erik is suddenly thankful that his brown skin masks the heat rising to his cheeks. “Just – will you do it or not?!”
“Sure,” Bucky smiles. “He’s uh, quiet—”
“Full of himself—” Sam adds.
“Aaaand he’s annoying. Not hard to spot.” Erik scoffs.
Sam laughs and waves him goodbye. “Okay, you should go before you’re late.”
The smaller teen nods and turns around to head to his class, the sound of his boot heels echoing in the empty halls. While they walk towards their art class, Sam wonders what kind of person Erik’s cousin is and if he's as much of a jerk as Erik makes him out to be. Is he just as grumpy as Erik? Just as smart? Does he also say what’s on his mind without a filter? Does he smile? Is he just as direct? Does he care as deeply, but doesn’t show it? Is he just as soft when he wants to be?
… And is he straight?
“Good morning, Sam! Hello, James!” Ms. Minako welcomes them as they enter her room. “You guys are late.” She’s sitting on the same table as the rest of the students there, with a bunch of different colorful objects laid on it.
“Good morning, ma’am.” Sam greets her, Bucky greeting her too with a wave of his own as they make their way to the farthest seats at the other end of the table. Sam sets his backpack to his right with a pleased hum, while his best friend sits to his left and he takes comfort in the fact that nobody will sit by his right side. There’s plenty of other empty seats around so maybe he’ll have some peace of mind this year (last year he had the misfortune of being seated next to Tony fucking Stark). Besides, it’s not like anyone would decide to sit next to Bucky either, because last year the girl that did so ended up being his designated art partner… and let’s just say… not that many people can handle Bucky’s emotional outbursts. So, it’s a win-win that he gets to be with his best friend. Bucky can be a little weird, he won’t lie. But he knows his friend, he knows who he is, he knows his life and he knows what really happened during those years (news media be damned), so he's more than happy to deal with this so called 'trouble kid’ of the school. They don't know him like he does.
Ms. Minako checks them off the attendance list with a smile and counts the class again. It seems there’s students missing, judging from her confused face and her nervous pencil tapping. “Well, I guess most of you are here. Only two students are absent—”
As if on cue there’s a knock on the door, suddenly halting all talk.
“Oh! Must be the new student!” Ms. Minako declares cheerfully. Sam twists anxiously in his seat, leaning over to see who it is. Is it him…? “Open the door for him, please.”
One of the students next to her stands up and opens the door, returning to her seat quietly. From his spot, Sam can see him stride in.
The first thing he notices is his hair, his short fro perfectly shaped and adorning his face like a crown. His clothes look like they are from a quality brand -- elegant, but simple. Sam’s eyes go back up to his face and he finds warm brown eyes staring right back at him. He jumps slightly in his seat and feels his face warm up at getting caught staring, but Erik’s cousin doesn’t seem to mind because he smiles instead, winking at Sam with a tilt of his head.
Sam swiftly turns his eyes to his lap, repeating in his mind ‘STARE AT THE TABLE STARE AT THE TABLE STARE AT THE TABLE’ as he fidgets with a strand of his shirt. This definitely wasn’t on his to-do list either.
He winked at me?!
“Yo,” Bucky whispers to him. “Was it just me or did he wink at me?”
Sam blinks. “I thought he winked at me,” he whispers back.
“... Maybe at both of us? Probably you, though. I’m a mess.” He sighs, laying his head down on the table.
Sam snickers, playfully dragging Bucky’s long wavy hair to cover his face. “You wouldn’t look a mess if you used a damn brush, you lightskin 2-b Rapunzel.”
Bucky flips him off.
From across their seats he hears a couple of girls commenting on the new student’s appearance, one in particular making colorful comments in Spanish to her twin. Sam can recognize her voice without looking. Her name’s Chal, and her sister’s name is Ime. They all hang out together occasionally since their mom is good friends with his mom. They usually play video games when good ones come out and sometimes decide to have some impromptu language classes – the twins teach him Spanish, and Sam tries to teach them Patois, and they more or less manage to learn a couple of words since they use most of their learning time laughing hysterically at each other’s accents instead.
“El diablo,” Chal whispers to Ime. “Papasito… que guapo, no?”
Handsome. Sam hates that he understood that. Seems like those Spanish classes they gave him paid off.
Ime laughs and nods, saying something else to her sister’s ear. Chal giggles in response, patting Ime’s puffy hair bun until her sister pushes her hands away with a smile. Suddenly, Sam wishes he had a close relationship like that with his own sister, but he shakes the thought off as soon as the teacher speaks. Let’s not start the day with a gloomy thought.
“Hi!” Ms. Minako says. “You’re T.… challa... Uda… koh…?”
“T’Challa Udaku.” T'Challa smiles. “It’s okay.  Just T’Challa is fine.”
“T’Challa?” Ms. Minako tries again, with a concentrated face.
T'Challa smiles again, and nods. “That’s right.”
Chal elbows her sister, whispering loud enough for Sam to hear. “Suena Africano, no? O quizás del caribe?”
“Africano, me parece.” Ime whispers back.
“Nah, es caribeño.” Chal shakes her head.
“Africano.”
“Caribeño, coño.”
“You have a slight accent.” Ms. Minako asks T'Challa, interested. “Where are you from?”
“I am from Wakanda.” He answers.
A tiny ‘fuck!’ is heard from Chal, but only Ime and Sam seem to notice. He tries not to laugh as Ime elbows her sister in the stomach. These girls.
“New to the country or the town?”
“Both.” T'Challa laughs. “It’s a lovely town.”
If only you knew, Sam thinks, you wouldn’t be saying that. But he shakes the thought off, again, trying not to be negative… again. It’s hard to not to be a pessimist. But enough is enough. He wants to be a therapist when he grows up, goddamn it, so he needs to get it together.
“Well, T'Challa, welcome to the country! Come on, choose a seat. Let’s start the class!” Ms. Minako gestures towards all the empty seats as she checks him off the attendance sheet. T'Challa turns over where a group of loud white boys are seated together, but his eyes pass right over them. He looks at the seat next to Ime and Chal (the latter batting her eyelashes dramatically, making T'Challa smile) and considers it, until he looks over at the end of the table where Sam is.
There’s one empty seat right next to his.
He looks decided then, walking past everyone and stopping right next to Sam with a click of his heels. Not quite believing what’s happening, Sam can only stare at his own hands and ask to whichever god is listening to make T'Challa sit somewhere else. Next to Bucky, even. He’ll do anything. Hell, he’ll stop eating his gran’s mac and cheese! But please, god, don’t let him sit next to him. T'Challa’s too… too…
“Is this seat taken?” T'Challa’s soft voice comes from his right, and Sam makes the mistake of turning his head towards him.
… Too pretty.
T'Challa’s eyes shine like the sun, his hand resting on the table. Sam’s breath hitches as dark brown eyes lock on his. His face is a little too close for his comfort, so Sam scoots back. T’Challa tilts his head to one side in confusion, waiting for him to answer but Sam can only focus on those lovely brown eyes of his, not even caring that the silence is getting a little bit too awkward, but he just doesn’t know what to say because T'Challa’s way too close and—
Bucky elbows him in the ribs, bringing him back to earth.
“Are you feeling alright?” T'Challa’s face turns to one of worry, somehow inching even closer to Sam. “You look—”
“I’m okay!” He blurts out, laughing nervously. He looks at Bucky from the corner of his eye and sees the bastard stifling a smile. Fucker.
T'Challa’s eyes widen in surprise, waiting for him to continue. “I’m—um, the seat isn’t taken, so…” Sam's eyes slide down to the empty chair while fake coughing and pressing his lips into a thin line, trying to play it cool. Oh my god this is too embarrassing why am I acting like this.
“Alright, thank you.” T'Challa’s face lights up and Sam can’t help but smile as well, despite how nervous he feels. T'Challa drops his bag to his side and sits down gracefully on the chair with a smile. “Nice to meet you,” he says with a radiant smile, while offering his hand to him like a proper gentleman.
Sam’s brain has the decency to remember to dry his anxiously-damp hand on his jeans before he shakes T’Challa’s with an equally anxious smile. It’s kind of odd, it almost feels like they’re finishing a business meeting. Why yes, sir, I’m glad we’ve come to the mutual agreement that I’m awkward as hell, let’s shake on it. But it could be a Wakandan thing, who knows. T'Challa has a strong grip on his hand as soon as they touch, and he shakes Sam’s hand with confidence, taking Sam by surprise as the strong shake dips him forward. He has no time to be embarrassed because T'Challa smiles at him and the guy giggles as though stumbling into someone else’s personal space is charming. He lets go of Sam and instead rests his face on his hand, two fingers up to support the crown of his head.  
“What’s your name?” T'Challa asks, eyes filled with curiosity.
And it’s at this moment when there’s another knock on the door, catching everyone’s attention.
“Oh!” The teacher exclaims. “Must be the other missing student.” This time it’s her who stands up to open the door, blocking the view of Sam’s eyes to see who it is.
“You’re a bit late, mister.” She reprimands the student. “But it’s the first day, so I’ll let it slide this time, alright?”
“I appreciate it.” Says a deep, and… quite attractive masculine voice.
Ms. Minako stands to the side and shows him the way. “Come on in!”
As soon as the student enters the room he can see exactly who it is. M’Baku walks into the classroom with that confidence Sam is so jealous of, looking as handsome as ever. His dark brown skin glows despite the unflattering light of the classroom, as though M’Baku is the exception to little things like physics. His clothes, of course, always carry a Wakandan theme, showing off the beautiful African patterns and combination of colors.
Sam looks over to the twins and finds Chal fanning herself while looking at M’Baku, who suddenly has a distasteful look on his face when his eyes fall on the only acceptable empty seats in the room. The one next to Bucky, and the one next to the twins. His eyes soon fall on T’Challa, and he falters. He recovers quickly though and walks around the table to sit down right across from him – next to Bucky’s seat.
Sam’s eyes go back to T’Challa, who seems to be… frozen in place while looking at M’Baku. He gets it though. One time, he got to seat behind him in math class and every time the teacher called M’Baku’s name to mark him present, he would stand up and give Sam a great first row view of that—
“So, uh,” Bucky’s voice brings him back to earth. He turns his head towards him and sees him talking to M’Baku, who can’t look less interested. “Guess we’re art partners now, huh?”
M’Baku finally looks at him with a neutral look on his face and says, “I am lactose intolerant.”
Bucky freezes.
Sam completely loses it. He can’t help but laugh out loud, making a spectacle even though he tries his damn best to keep it in. Naturally, he attracts some of his classmates’ eyes, but he just can’t stop. He’s trying so hard, but Jesus. The look on Bucky’s face, he keeps remembering it and can’t help but laugh again.
“Mhm, keep on laughing, man. Just let it all out, you dick.” Bucky tell him as he claps Sam on the back, which only makes it worse.
Ms. Minako finally looks over at him, looking confused and quite annoyed at the noise. “Excuse me, Sam? Are you alright?”
“Yeah, Sam, are you alright?” Bucky repeats, faking the worrying tone in his voice as he scoots closer to Sam to look him right in the eye.
“Y-Yes, miss, I’m— I’m fine,” Sam tries to tell her while desperately trying to ignore Bucky’s stupid face. “Thank you. Sorry about—” and he laughs again.
“Do you need to go to the nurse, Sam?” she asks, sounding annoyed.
“Yeah, Sam, do you need to go to the nurse?” Bucky repeats again with that dumb look on his face and it makes it harder for Sam to stop laughing.
“No! N-No, I’m alright. I’m so sorry, miss, please uh, please carry on.” He coughs and bites his lip, mustering all his energy into having a poker face. It doesn’t work, it just makes him look weird with his bulging eyes, tight lips and puffy cheeks… but the teacher is satisfied enough with it to let it go.
“So, uh,” Sam turns to Bucky, a smile threatening to slip past his lips but still desperately trying to look neutral. “Wanna change seats?”
Bucky licks his lips, also trying not to smile, and nods. “Yeah, that’s— yeah, let’s change seats, man.”
Once they’re at their new seats, Bucky turns to T’Challa. “Soooo, guess we’re—”
“I’m also lactose intolerant.” He tells him with a mastered poker face.
Sam lays his head down and covers his head with his arms to tone down his loud laughter, shaking and softly smacking the table with his first a couple times. Bucky can’t hold it in either, leaning forward on the table and shaking his head as he laughs with Sam. M’Baku joins in with a loud and deep ‘HAH!’ and nothing else. T’Challa smiles ever so slightly, and the sight almost makes Bucky stop, feeling charmed by his smile and the soft crinkles at the corner of his eyes. He couldn’t quite get a look at him at first, but now he understands why Sam froze when T’Challa talked to him.
Sam coughs, and looks towards T’Challa, trying to frown in order to cancel out the dumb smile on his face. “Hey man, um, do you— uh, do you… wanna change seats?” He fake coughs into his fist, and Bucky feel his lips twitch. “Or, uh, or something?” Sam bites his lip again, praying to any god that is listening to make him stop laughing.
“I don’t see why not.” T’Challa calmly answers, picking up his stuff and changing his seat with Sam.
Once they’re finally seated, Sam speaks. “Don’t worry, Buck, I got you man. I, uh, you know, I take them lactaid tablets—”
Bucky whizzes out a small laugh, and nods. “Oh yeah?”
“Yes, sir,” Sam nods as well, patting him on the back. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you ain’t gotta worry about that.”
“Thanks, Sam,” Bucky says, smiling at him. “I know I can always count on you.”
“Nuh-uh, uh!” Sam shakes his finger on his face. “Only as long as I got my lactaid tablets,” he adds, and after a second of dead silence they both laugh loud and hard, Sam leaning on Bucky and Bucky flinching for half a second but relaxing quickly enough against Sam’s warmth.
Sam looks up at him from his shoulder. “Stop making me laugh, man, fuck. My face hurts.”
Bucky shrugs, Sam’s head moving with it. “That’s karma, asshole.”
Sam shakes his head, and closes his eyes, smiling softly. “I hate you.”
Bucky snorts. “And I hate you too, sweetheart.” Sam smacks him for that, whispering ‘gross!’ to which Bucky replies ‘but you like it!’ to which the teacher replies ‘both of you boys better shut up unless you want to be sent to the principal’s office’.
Half way through the class, their phones both vibrate at the same time, and they instantly look at each other. After making sure the teacher isn’t looking at them, they look down to check who texted them from under the table.
 Steve♢ is online
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ) is online
Bucky ( ˘-___-) is online
Sammy is online
 Steve ♢: hey hey hey
Steve ♢: Erik told me about his cousin!
Steve ♢: is he cool?
Sammy: …….maybe
Steve ♢: ヽ( ・∀・)ノ i’ll get his number then!
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): steve
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): steve im begging you here
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): please dont fuck my cousin
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): p l e a s e
Steve ♢: you know, i wasn’t thinking about that
Steve ♢: but now that you mention it…
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): steve
Sammy: oh btw Erik your middle school crush is in our class
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): my middle school what now
Bucky ( ˘-___-): M’Baku. or did you forget about him already?
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): fuck off bucks
Steve ♢: wait what
Bucky ( ˘-___-): Erik had like… the biggest crush on him back in middle school
Sammy: it was kinda cute tbh he would like… talk to him about this anime he really liked. which he got m’baku to watch somehow someway
Bucky ( ˘-___-): And there was this couple in the show. Real romantic shit you know? Erik would say how M’Baku is so much like the romantic interest of the hero
Sammy: and also how Erik was so much like the hero himself
Bucky ( ˘-___-): M’Baku never got the hint though. But it was cute to watch. A bit pathetic, sure, but cute!
Sammy: and of course a funny story to tell every person he dates lmao
Steve ♢: aww Erik you sweet thing you!
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): this
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): is the worst day of my life
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): ever
Bucky ( ˘-___-): Hey do you remember that stupid song?
Sammy: which one Sammy: “M’baku and Erik sitting under a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G watching A-N-I-M-E”
Sammy: is it that one
Bucky ( ˘-___-): yeah! cute isn't he?
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): IM BLOCKING YOU
Steve ♢: lol erik that’s so cute
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): IM BLOCKING BOTH OF YOU
Steve ♢: cute cute cute
Sammy: cute lol
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ) is offline
Steve ♢: omg
Sammy: HE ACTUALLY LEFT LMFAOOOO
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ) is online
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): i forgot to say something :)
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ): FUCK YOU ALL
Bucky ( ˘-___-): Damn that’s hot
Steve ♢: i didn't know Erik was this adorable
Sammy: he aight i guess
Erik ( ಠ ಠ ) is offline
 This year is going to be fun.
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sankofanyc · 7 years
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Relationship and Dating rant...
I’m a teacher… So I’m reflective…. Lol all teachers are reflective… “Did the kids understand that? Did that work? Where did I fuck up today?” So I’m just reflecting about some dating shit right now… And this is about to be all over the place just a FYI…
Yo how many real relationships have you been in… Like even if the relationship is bullshit, you actually call that person your boyfriend or girlfriend… I’ve only had a handful of real girlfriends… like actually people I introduced to others as my girl… But I dated mad people… Been on dates with people once, dated people I link up and try to date like twice a year, built crazy real deal relationships with people I’ve went on several dates with, etc… I’m thinking… Dating alot of people is fun, but it’s not helpful like at all… Lol so off the top of my brain there are three girls I can think of that I’ve dated that are fucking like amazingggg people… Beautiful, we get along well, always have good convo etc… One is like a artist/designer, another is like in the middle East doing some shit, and the other works for magazines or google or some shit, idk she’s dope… Anyway… I think the idea that I was even talking to other people when I dated them fucking ruined me… When I step back and considered actually gettingg into a real relationship with them, I’d take all these other people into consideration… People I was talking to on the internet or texting or went on a date with, etc… And you start comparing them on bullshit levels, like “yeah artist girl is great, but she’s sooo put together it’s too much, or she’s not into this revolutionary shit like me, or I don’t like her laugh” or some shit… Lol I’m obviously exaggerating but I do think it’s like that to a degree… You are dating a few people to try them out, but you start kinda comparing them like you are picking a quarterback for your fantasy league or some shit ranking stats… It hurts you cause you are like… She’s lacking here or too developed here and then you just let people drift away as they get tired of waiting or you focus on something else cause your not focused on anything in particular… And you end up running into them at a party or seeing them on your Facebook feed months later and wanna bash your head into a wall… Like how did you fuck that up… so I guess I’d say… It’s good to date a bunch, but also don’t.. lol like I don’t wanna say throw all your eggs in one basket… I dated some horrible people… But when you decide… “Ok I’m talking to this person” clear allll the external noise if you can… Chill on texting others and shit, and if y'all don’t work out, OK you can then get back in the game… But if you’re playing it while looking for someone, you’ll get lost… You’ll sike yourself out of some shit… My dating days are over… But that’s the blueprint… Your welcome! Lol
How did I get here… Oh yeah, relationships… So i only had a few girlfriends… And most of them are not the flyest coolest smartest people ive dated… Smh its so weird… It’s like they are just right for the time though and I am in the right place and mindset… But I was having a convo with someone the other day and geez people really hate their exes.. I dont… Like honestly I don’t give a fuck about half of em.. the other half are like really nice people and I wish em they best, they married and all that and we never talk so it’s easy to forget them… my most recent ex, I wanted us to be cooler like I told y'all before… That’s not going to happen it seems… But I dont hate her… Idk how she feels about me… But I’m OK… I only have one ex I reallyyyy think is super dope and I can only say nice things and I’m rooting for… Shes from Queens and just had a kid with her new dude… Lol and its all good..  but everyone else… I’m not thinking positive or negatively about, they can all kick rocks, like idc… I feel like I was in some sham ass relationships… like it wasn’t really real on anyone’s end… Saying I love you or meeting fam ain’t matter… When it was time to end it we were all happy to walk away…. And ultimately… I think I’ve had funner and more meaningful relationships with people I was just dating for a long time and not with the people I was seriously dating… but I also think I was just a poor chooser…. So if you have a few people DMing you or linking all your pics, and are interested in dating.. I say take it easy, be patient and don’t over think it, try em out, but not in a way you’ll overwhelm yourself… lol… that way you won’t be distracted… I wrote some other shit, cause damn NYC subway service… I lost it… One thing I will end on though is, I don’t really have regrets and shit… I don’t believe in greener grass… Like as far as I can tell all of these relationships develop their own set of bullshit problems over time… Yes eventually you and the person you never argue with and only laugh with will eventually get into over time.. so don’t miss em if you missed out on em… And yea lets just keep this real… Where we are now..
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gsmatthews95 · 6 years
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A journey to the heart of Bavaria
A DOUBLE POST. I'm so sorry I actually forgot to post the last piece I wrote last week.... I've been busy... Actually not really... More lazy I'd say, however not as lazy as many may lead me to believe as I post my ultimate and final piece of this epic five month literary masterpiece that has explained, over exaggerated and immortalized the past, and last, five months of this trip. It has been momentous. It has spanned many a country. There has been fun. There has been culture. There has been beers. It has been exceptional, however, as I write this in the departure terminal of Berlin tegel airport heading home for the first time in 13 months, I am excited to be heading home. There is trepidation, a new era of my life awaits, but, the thought of seeing people I haven't seen for over a year, seeing my family, seeing Roland and even seeing the yids been barca at Wembley is driving me on. Possibilities is the word of the day. Deep I know, I'm just writing this so you don’t judge me so much when I write the actual meaty part of this article, which will be arriving imminently. I'll post now on the back of a few weeks in ze Deutscheland, mainly in Berlin but with a few days down in deep Bavaria, doing all things German. Yes everything. This involved: beers, hiking, eating sausage, saying tchussi, looking at pretty buildings, obeying j walking rules, discussing brexit, meeting an old friend and, oh yes I remember, drinking more beers st Oktoberfest. It was very fun.
As I headed down on my flixbus, I anticipated what these 3 and a half days had in store for me, I was excited, raring to get started and seeing Manuel, who I hadn't seen for 4 and a half years. Wow long. Would we still be friends? Would we recognize each other? Would he find me as intensely irritating as the majority of the rest of the world? After all lots has changed in the last 5 years, and I mean lots. I feel like a new person post gap year, uni and second gap year. It was unbelievably comforting therefore, to realise immediately, literally within 3 seconds, how nothing had changed. Conversation was never forced, all was comfortable and he had a good plan, now I knew it would be a good trip. The first evening was uneventful. Not bad by any means, exactly what we needed in fact, a whistle stop tour of Munich, a taste of the local beer brewed next to the monastery manu went to school in, ye that local and our first maaaaaaaas (1 liter of beer, yummy) before we headed back to tegensee (is that how you spell it) but Ill get to that. First I need to briefly mention a phenomenon I've never seen before and even after explanation from manu before we got there, something I had no idea what to expect. Dont expect to understand  it just reading this, apologies. So it is an artificial wave on the river in the middle of Munich. It is maybe 10 meters wide and is always going. It is a mecca for surf bums from apparently all around the world. World famous in the surfer dude world. Rad eh? Or gnarly? I dunno I don't surf. It was however, EXTREMELY impressive as they surfed from side to side rapidly, doing their little tricks and jumps for the ever growing crowd who. Completely ignoring privacy ideas, filmed the whole lot. This included yours truly as I filmed a wee vid for memories sake. That was cool. The rest of Munich is beautiful. The building are all nice, well up kept and most importantly, colourful. I like colourful and painted buildings. Oh yeah we also climbed up a church to get a nice panoramic view of the city, very nice if not a wee bit tiring and sweaty. Anyhow, in tegensee we visited the famous tegensee brewery and even saw the monastery Manuel was educated in, very cute. We also consumed another beer and half a pig together as we munched down two bangin meals, George approved. Manu, day 1 was successful. 
On to day 2. With an early night under our belts it was an early (read early as: 9am) start as we prepared for a hike. Ooo exercise. The fourth of Manu's week, the second of my month maybe. Having arrived in the dark I couldn't see the surroundings of the house as such I had a rough idea of what I  might expect but these expectations were far below the reality as I woke up in awe of the landscape surrounding the house. I can only describe it as living in the Alps. Which is literally where we were. The mountains towered on all sides of us with the Xmas trees adorning each summit. Sadly no snow. Although this made for a much more enjoyable, Clear and warm hike. So usually when heading on a six hour hike in the alps you may need to drive somewhere first or get a bus or train. With kreuth, this is not the case. From the back door we wandered thru the picturesque, tiny alpine hamlet towards our everest. The hike was beaut. Not too strenuous, but hard enough and long enough to make us feel like we got our exercise for the holiday and give us a carte Blanche for Oktoberfest he he he. It was the classic situation when the tourist is stopping for photos every two minutes as each view gets better than the previous. The sun was shining the mountains were infinite and there was barely anyone there, a perfect threesome some would say. Having only got lost once (and only slightly) and with me only asking "are we there yet twice?" We hit the summit. EXITO. A very nostalgia moment from the glory days of bariloche in Argentina. Off came the shirts, out came the sandwiches and the sunbathing began. It was lush. When fully whelmed we headed for a beer at a little chalet thing. And headed home in anticipation of meeting a new puppy and then oktoberfesting. So the best surprise of the trip was undoubtably the datshund (sausage dog) puppy. Oh my lord he was adorable. So small. So scared and so perfect. He was amazing. With a little brown beard and brown feet he was the epitome of perfection to me, sadly all good things have to come to an end and this good thing was cut so cruelly short as we rushed to catch the train to Munich for some beers in lederhosen. The journey continued up to the next chapter which will most probably be written in less adoring detail as the details blur slightly and tales become less "travel blog worthy"....
Our destination in Munich was Manu's friend, Georg's house. Pronounced gay-org. So we had a Georg and a George, a nice meeting of cultures... Or just two similar names from different countries. He was at Oktoberfest however, so our plan was to get to his apartment, get let in by a friend, put on the lederhosen (I was wearing Manuel's brothers), get drunk enough for a club and then find the after club. We did this all very successfully if I say so myself drinking g n t with ice, being classy while saving money and time. The night was good as we wandered to the club thru the swathes of drunk oktoberfesters and had a boogy. This led us to the next morning. The real Oktoberfest. It was an early kick off, 9:30am, heavy. We donned the lederhosen, got some beers and begun the day of fun. Georg managed to talk his way into the main tent, no mean feat, highly impressive and then also managed to worm us two in with him after a few lengthy discussions. My hat was off to him, highly impressive bullshitting ability. The tent was big, loud and there were a lot of beers. It was heavy and passed with lots of fun and a few incidents. The rest of the evening and night passed as such and I feel the contents of this period is not best suited for this blog, lol. Leave y'all hanging! Don’t worry as this is the last piece I'm sure I'll be the only reader anyway. I'm writing this post really for the first few more cultural days anyhow. 
The next morning started eventfully again as we woke up in an unfamiliar bed and had to wander back to the living room where mine and Manuel's allocated beds were. This marked the beginning a quintessential hangover day. Very slow, painful and unproductive as we reconsidered our lives, contemplated our life decisions and made promises to our future selves. It was amusing as we wandered from place to place aimlessly, just looking for grass and shade by the end. As it all became a bit tiring for our brains and legs we decided the sofa was the best place for our miserable bodies and we returned to watch the full extended edition of LOTR the two towers. It was epic and it led me perfectly up till my night bus back to Berlin. All in all a smashing few days in Munich hosted immensely by Georg and Manuel. Cheers boys. Oh yeah and I slept very well on the night bus home. Literally the full 8 hours. It was a perfect night bus as it left at 11:15 and got in around 7-7:30. Short but all spent asleep. George approved greatly. This trip was a nice final outing of what can only be described as an absolute belter of a year.
Now onwards and upwards as I look to move out permanently and find a nice enjoyable job that pays the bills. Also I'm gonna try and post this from the plane because I get ten minutes free WiFi and I couldn't imagine a better use of that than updating this bad boy.
G over and out for the last time for a little while. Hopefully not too long. I look forward to our next meet.
G. XOXO
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Checkup Time (late post)
Sorry guys! I thought I posted, but I really didnt 😭! Anyway, I was late going to my checkup because of family circumstances, but I finally made it last Friday (today is Tuesday).
They didn't do anything to my top denture and said that it needed a little more time for my gums to shrink before they do a reline on it, but they went ahead and did a reline on my bottom denture. Boy was that an experience! They also made some other adjustments where I can finally completely close my mouth comfortably!
The dentist told me that it would feel pretty warm on my gums when doing the reline, and that it would taste pretty bad. It was more like Icy Hot on steroids on my gums with the bite it had. Like having concentrated liquid Big Red gum with that cinnamon taste, and I hate cinnamon lol. After a couple minutes, they removed the denture from my mouth (owies 😖) and made adjustments. It's took about two tries, but the adjustments were.made immediately and I was SO COMFORTABLE on my way home! Like my bottom gums were snuggled up by a comfy blanket once again. They said to come back whenever I need more adjustments 🙂.
I am getting better at eating things, although I still have to be careful when trying to take bites out of thick food like burgers. I find that if I break it into mote manageable pieces then it's a much better experience. Sometimes I would have to reapply adhesive about once or twice at the most (depends on how many things I tried to eat that day, and I'm always hungry 😂), but on a normal day I usually dont have to reapply. I'm still sticking to the Zinc-free formulas!
I also buy my supplies in bulk. It still is a bit embarrassing for me to buy them, but no one says anything. I would rather buy everything in bulk and have one visit of mild discomfort during the span of a month or so, than to go weekly.
Most people don't even know I have them! I finally did tell a couple more fellow employees, and they were so surprised! They couldn't tell at all 😄.
Y'all have a great day, and see you on my next post! I plan to post whenever something significant happens, because I don't want to bore you lol. I plan to keep this up until a bit after I get my permanent dentures!
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