it has been. oof. six months. but for anyone following me who is still interested, we’re 7 pages deep (and i usually write about 10 pages per chapter) into the next chapter of the chatfic! in the words of granny weatherwax, i aten’t dead, and neither is the fic :) schedules are not promised, but hopefully the wait won’t be too much longer!

i am the maker of rules (dealing with fools)

by ClarionGlass

Elias Bouchard: Peter. Elias Bouchard: It’s been three hours. Elias Bouchard: I know you’re getting these. Elias Bouchard: Your reticence in answering messages is one of the reasons, and believe me there are many, that I divorced you. Again. Elias Bouchard: There’s no use trying to pretend that you’re not receiving my messages. Elias Bouchard: Not only can I See you, but your read receipts are on. Read at 10:36 P.M.

Elias vents to Peter Lukas about an unfortunate incident that happened at work. Peter is hardly sympathetic. A short ficlet from Elias's perspective, set during chapter 4 of "we should ride this wave to shore".

Words: 1585, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of everything is fine!! chatverse

Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Elias Bouchard, Peter Lukas

Relationships: Elias Bouchard & Peter Lukas

Additional Tags: Texting, Chatting & Messaging, this is just elias venting and then getting bullied by peter lol, read we should ride this wave to shore first otherwise this one won't make sense, i'm sure peter doesn't actually text like this normally but he absolutely does it to piss elias off, if you thought wsrtwts was stupid then babey you ain't seen nothing yet

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/24878377

Ok i just read we should ride this wave to shore and i need a minute to tell you just how fucking amazing it is!! It literally made my week i could not stop thinking about it at any given moment this past days...

thank you so much!!!! oh man thank you for reaching out, i'm so happy you enjoyed the fic <3333

lyrics. i desire them. literally any i just have brainrot for the wave 'verse.

:))))))

i'm gonna give you a chunk from verse 1, and some supplementary info in lieu of the midi file i still have to clean up in terms of rhythm syncing with words :)

One hand holding a lover’s, one holding an ending Both the knifeshine and yearning rang awful and true All while singing a promise through tears that fell freely “I will follow, my love, unto you”

the extra info is: the instrumentation in this one is Meaningful in terms of characters,,,,,, we've got vocals (obv), bass, violin and harp, which was a really eclectic combo to write for but i think it turned out pretty alright! also i managed to sneak in two different variations of the dies irae, one is the original plainchant and is v obvious, the other is a (very) modified version of the dies irae from britten's war requiem, which is really just in as an easter egg to me :P

*appears in your inbox*

hello!!! i'm comfort rereading the everything's fine fics and attempting to write a tma chatfic of my own and i was wondering if you would mind me borrowing the buried!hozier headcanon? i don't know if i'll actually use it but i'll definitely credit you if i do! (thank you so much again for writing them :))

hello!!! aaaa it's always so lovely to hear that people reread my fics, so thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying them <3333

and yes you are more than welcome to use buried!hozier! honestly i get the biggest buzz out of my stuff being a source of (direct or indirect) inspiration for other people's amazing stuff, so thank you for asking and please go ahead! all the best with your fic, and regardless of whether you use buried!hozier or not i look forward to reading it :D

Your Everything's Fine fics make me smile every time I think about them <3 you've captured the dynamics between all the characters perfectly, and made a world where things are so much better, and I love them with my whole heart

thank you so much!!!! my main goal with writing this series is to just give these characters a break, mostly just for the sake of my sanity, so i'm always thrilled to hear that it's resonated so well with other people <333 i'm so glad you've enjoyed it! and you have no idea how much your comment about character dynamics means to me, it's something that i really tried to capture, so i'm glad i pulled it off! thank you again for your lovely words! <3333

what time is it? self promotion time!

made a bowerbird of me from beginning | latest chapter

the sequel to we should ride this wave to shore! including jon taking an involuntary holiday, zoom dnd, and a fucking ton of metafictional Stuff to come because, to paraphrase the doritos meme, i’m always a slut for metafiction :)

ch 5 summary: [Transcript description: A Zoom video call. The first open screen shows Sasha, the host of the meeting, sitting at her kitchen table. A cupboard and a few shelves are visible in the distance behind her, and she shifts in her chair as she waits for the others to enter the call.]

i just finished the original song for concert 2 electric boogaloo and i made a midi file for it and i'm so freakin jazzed about this y'all

there's gonna be a fair while to wait before this pops up in the fic (plus all the rewrites to finish. plus the other plot beats i want to hit. plus the fact i have gigs til mid dec and i'm so damn tired i have no creative mojo atm) but oh man i have endgame plans that i'm very very hyped for

hmu if you want a listen or a lyric!

hyello my babes it is time for your latest dose of blatant self-promotion! 

we should ride this wave to shore latest chapter | start from the beginning

the latest chapter takes a brief sidestep from the typical chatfic format to provide you with....... the script and lyrics for the fic’s forthcoming Fuck Off Jonah Magnus Arena Spectacular! this is a rewrite of a Few (11) sea shanties/folk songs, plus an encore, with narration by the one and only Jonny del Oculo,,,, (reports of Jonny d’Ville’s death have been greatly exaggerated ;) )

so sit back and enjoy the retelling of the tale of gertrude robinson, with a mechs-esque twist! it very vaguely links back to the greater mechs canon, and hopefully contains some singable bops :D

Archive the Thing!

a sneaky peep at the content i’m working on for the chatfic concert ;) this is the encore piece which came to me in a flash this afternoon (i’m already rewriting like ten other shanties/folk songs???? please somebody stop me) and i’m way too excited about it not to share Something so without further ado: Archive the Thing! (to the tune of Hoist Up The Thing by the longest johns, please listen to this because it’s amazingly sung and also stupid brilliant fun :D)

Fresh out of college, with grades straight from hell I browsed for a trade at which I could excel An ad for an archive in need of some filing Well, I like to research, so I’m glad they’re hiring

What luck, says I, to find such good fortune! A few white lies later, I ran down the stairs Bought a few tapes and a cardie or two Sat in my office, then yelled at the crew:

Archive the thing! File away the whatsit! Why’s that not working? I should tape-record it! Staple that page! (That's not right!) Now I've got it! Trust me, I'm in control!

I don’t know the order to file these away And Martin let in a dog on our first day Why did Gertrude shove all these files in a box? They’re all jumbled up, was her head full of rocks? 

Archive the thing! File away the whatsit! Why’s that not working? I should tape-record it! Staple that page! (That's not right!) Now I've got it! Trust me, I'm in control!

There’s worms all about, and a mystery door I’ve been kidnapped loads, but I don’t know what for Now there’s cops in the archives, and Melanie’s knives The way this is going, how will I survive?

But I’ve got Tim and Sasha, and Melanie too Basira and Daisy, my great archives crew And Martin, my rock, whose tea is the best Come on, you bastards, let’s clean up this mess!

Archive the thing! File away the whatsit! Why’s that not working? I should tape-record it! Staple that page! (That's not right!) Now I've got it! Trust me, I'm in control! (x3)

Archive the thing! File away the whatsit! Why’s that not working? I should tape-record it! (BLOODY HELL!) Staple that page! (These are ancient!) Now I've got it! (Screaming) Trust me, I'm in control! (MUMMY!) Trust me, I'm in control!

god fuck i have So Much in chatfic 2.0 i’m so excited to write but i have to get through 10ish pages of seven characters playing dnd first there is angst, y’all angst and plot and ikea furniture and (minor spoiler alert!) what the ghost branching into true crime a la buzzfeed unsolved ft. oliver banks who gives very confident and detailed “theories” about how the subject of the episode died oh man i said it in wsrtwts but i’ll say it again, i’m such a slut for metafiction yo you all are going to hate me when the next chat chapter drops i promise you (i just gotta write some dnd type shenanigans first lol)

also if you have No Idea what i’m babbling about this time go and check out the sequel to ‘we should ride this wave to shore’, ‘made a bowerbird of me’, right over here! if you liked the archives gang being stupid in wsrtwts then they’re even more stupid in this one my loves

oh lads

i'm writing the concert chapter for chatfic, and for a hot minute just astral projected into the body of jonny del oculo

i could hear real mechs jonny's voice so clearly plus jon jarchivist's fury at elias from mag 200 plus a trace of jon-as-elias from 160 because why not be equally dramatic when the tables are turned

long story short i think you're gonna like this one lads, i certainly am

Chapters: 28/? Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Georgie Barker & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Georgie Barker & the assistants, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Sasha James, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Georgie Barker, The Admiral (The Magnus Archives), Elias Bouchard, Melanie King, Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Basira Hussain, Michael | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives), Helen | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives), Rosie (The Magnus Archives), Sonja from Artefact Storage who is basically an OC, Nikola Orsinov, Jurgen Leitner, Michael "Mike" Crew, Oliver Banks, Agnes Montague, Gerard Keay Additional Tags: Texting, Chatting & Messaging, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, this is purely self-indulgent fluff okay, i just want everyone to be safe and happy and alive, i will be picking and choosing bits of canon as it suits me, hell i haven't even decided if the spooky exists in this fic or not, but it's a happy group chat fic full of fun and banter and shitty chat nicknames, more characters will be added, so i'll update the tags as needed, but nobody will die!!! i promise!!!, No beta we kayak like Tim, eta yes the spooky does exist but it's spooky lite, everything bows in the face of shit jokes Series: Part 1 of everything is fine!! chatverse Summary:

“archives research & statement envestigation” Timothy Stoker renamed the group “drinks drinks drinks” Timothy Stoker changed Sasha James’s nickname to saucy sash Timothy Stoker changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to martini kart Timothy Stoker changed his nickname to stonked stonked: so how bout it lads saucy sash: oh god. A TMA group chat fic where the worst problems they have to deal with start with "h" and end with "angovers"

---

chapter summary:

Jonathan Sims: so. Jonathan Sims: I asked Melanie to record this for you Jonathan Sims: actually now I think about it, she probably would have shown you herself Georgie Barker: lol Georgie Barker: what is it? Jonathan Sims: from rehearsal Georgie Barker: a new song?!?!?!?!!?!

---

chapter 28 is out! (after 3 weeks i’m sorry lads)  and it’s a cracker! this chapter really didn’t go where i thought it would go when i started writing it, but a couple of ideas attacked me and i just had to put them in :D

start from the beginning

me: i’m just gonna write a fun lil band rehearsal chapter in chatfic! it’s gonna be nice and light :))) my gremlin brain: has an idea at midnight i cannot unthink my gremlin brain: sooooo here’s that angst you ordered!  me: but i didn’t-- my gremlin brain: Here It Is!!!

ugh lads i’m so terrible at cross-promotion but my tma chatfic has reached 23 whole chapters! anyway i’m having heaps of fun with it so i’m gonna do a lil plug bc why the hell not! if writing this has influenced my own typing style i’m sure as hell gonna force it on as many people as possible lol

we should ride this wave to shore chapter one | latest chapter

ch 23 summary: [unknown]: We’re Here! Jonathan Sims: okay, I’ll come up to reception and bring you down. Sasha James: i’m coming back from the bathroom, why is everyone shouting? Sasha James: oh Jonathan Sims: Nikola, when you say you’re here, that should mean that you’re in reception, not that you’re about to step out of the Distortion’s doors straight into the archives Jonathan Sims: actually, this goes for everyone Jonathan Sims: p l e a s e  do not just step out of the Distortion door straight into my archives

(involving avatar band’s first rehearsal, an uncomfortable meeting with double boss, and references to impeccable british quiz show only connect)

ooo, for the writer ask game - 1, 3, 12 and/or 15 please!

thank you!!! for this :D

1. has a comment someone left on a fic of yours ever made you laugh out loud? yes oh my god??? i can't think of specifics right now but there are definitely definitely comments that have made me laugh and there are definitely definitely comments that have made me want to cry because of how lovely they are! fuck i appreciate all comments so much, the fact that someone has taken time out of their day to read my lil ramblings and respond to them? incredible, stunning, fills me with love

3. and because i know we’re all egocentric, have you ever made yourself laugh out loud or cry with a fic you wrote? look. look. the entirety of chatfic is to make myself laugh, it's whatever stupid shenanigans i can think of (relatively) neatly packaged up in text form, so. yes :') i think of purely idiotic things and they go straight in! e.g. "spit in his tea Martin" was something that hit me like a bolt from the blue and i made myself snort while i was cooking, so i knew it needed to be in there! ditto just about everything tim ever says in that fic :'D

12. what headcanon will you keep implementing in your fics, even if canon ends up contradicting it? given the chance tim would 100000% put a pigeon in bitchard's office. it's going into every single thing i write because the concept of it amuses me a Lot lol for crack also, i.e. the "mechs were jon's uni band" type fics, i headcanon (and it was a small plot point in wsrtwts actually) that nikola sounds like the toy soldier bc one of the anglerfish's edinburgh victims saw the mechs at a fringe show, and she saw the memory and thought it was a cool aesthetic! also also, you can pry the concept of queerplatonic timsasha out of my cold dead hands :) dating canonically didn't work out for them but i love fics and concepts where they just bounce off each other so so well!

15. describe (one of) your wip(s) in the weirdest/most contrived way possible! (asker can choose what wip) oh man.... okay, here we go! guess the fic/writing doc (some of these are related to upcoming plot points tho): i. local man's holiday is repeatedly interrupted due to reasons of metafiction ii. local man reflects on his time at uni, or, university students have a Weird-Ass Time researching (and performing!) occult rituals iii. romeo and juliet, but think apocalyptic wasteland, but also think daisira, but also think a vicious murder spree committed to this particular shanty iv. wheels within wheels within wheels, the real con isn't the con you think is happening