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nona-gay-simus-main · 4 years

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Top 10 Worst Tropes in Romance - Part 2

Disclaimer: This is MY opinion, you do you.

Part 1: Here

1. The Child Partner

I’m not talking about literal children, because duh. What I mean is the a person who needs their partner to emotionally parent them.

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like the whole point of a romantic relationship is to be with an equal. You’re supposed to be teammates, best friends, and lovers.

Of course, I'm not including cases where one partner is disabled or chronically/mentally ill and needs the other to take care of them - that’s an entirely separate thing.

I'm referring to people (usually cishet men), who constantly need their partner to manage their moods and emotions. They always have some ~trauma~ to manipulate the partner into staying in the relationship in order to keep reassuring them, confirming their self-esteem, and even doing their cooking and cleaning, as if they aren't abled adults with two functioning hands.

That shit sucks!

Imagine doing that for someone all the time and then also trying to have a kid (or multiple kids) with that person. Not only will you be taking care of your actual child; but also - your partner-child. Stop normalizing lazy, emotionally stunted men. That shit ain't cut no matter how hard his abs are or how big his dick is.

2. “I’ve been in love with you since the first moment we met.”

I don’t know what it is about this trope, but it shows up in many romances and it always makes me uncomfortable. How the hell are you supposed to react to that?

Oh, you’ve been in love with me since the first time we met? Yikes, my dude.

You can’t even fall in love with someone that fast anyway. You're not in love with the person, you’re in love with your idea of them!

The only acceptable version of this is the one where it’s more along the lines “I thought I might fall in love with you if I spent any more time with you.” But other than that, I really don't understand why this is a thing?

3. Lust = Love

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude. I’m perfectly fine with couples who have loads and loads of sex. I’m also perfectly fine with casual sex and friends-with-benefits and any other consensual arrangement between adults.

I just get tripped up when pretty much all a couple does is have sex. They have little in common outside of sex, spend little time together when not having sex, and don’t share any hobbies, interests or even conversation topics. Or worse, when they aren’t having sex, they’re fighting.

If you want your characters to get laid, that’s cool. But if you want me to believe they are also falling in love - you’re gonna have to try a little harder.

4. BDSM = Abuse

Yes, abuse happens under the pretense of BDSM, but BDSM is NOT inherently abusive. It only happens within pre-established boundaries and safe words and with explicit consent. The only people who claim it's abuse, are people who have a vested interest in controlling what women and queer people do with our bodies.

So I really, really hate it when people use “It’s just BDSM, don’t be so uptight” to justify their rapey, abusive love interest’s actions. If the submissive has not already consented, or their consent was obtained through manipulation or intoxication - it’s not meaningful consent.

BDSM is a lot more complex than some of the simplistic catchphrases we use to explain it to the vanillas, and we can discuss those complexities for hours, but at the one thing is definitely true - the Dominant only has as much power as the submissive is willing to give. If they (knowingly) cross a boundary or take power without the consent of the submissive, it’s not power exchange, it’s abuse, pure and simple.

5. "All women want him. All men want to be him"

Really? ALL women? Are you sure?

I hate to tell you this, but some women are exclusively attracted to other women. And some women aren’t attracted to anyone. Some women have low libidos, and some women just don’t prioritize sex and relationships for whatever reason. And some women are in happy, fulfilling monogamous relationships already.

And all men want to BE him? Did you know that some men are attracted to other men? They might want a piece of that too. Or perhaps, they just don’t value being some alpha douchebag and are happy to be their much better-adjusted self. That's a thing.

Can we let this cliché die already? Please?

6. Giving up your dreams for ~love~.

Oh man, this is the worst! And why is it nearly always the woman, who has to make a choice between her career and ~~~LoVe~~?

So many books/movies etc. start with this powerful career woman and then by the end reduce her to nothing but a trophy to her man. That’s not feminist, it just keeps perpetuating the same tired gender roles.

And I can’t help but think about the future of this relationship. What if it doesn’t work out? Then the partner who the dreams were given up for looks like a jerk, even if they never asked for this.

And even if it works out, the partner who gave up their dream job, or opportunity, or whatever, will always have this “what if” at the back of their mind. Over time, they may even end up resenting their SO, especially if things don’t work out for them career-wise.

Just such a bad trope all around. It’s not romantic, it’s toxic, and co-dependant and I want it to stop.

7. He treats everyone like crap ***but you***.

You know the limitus test to see if someone’s a good person? Look at how they treat people who are “beneath” them. Their servers, the cleaning lady, etc.

If this guy treats servers like crap, treats his friends and family like crap, treats everyone like crap, except for the person whose pants he wants to get in (or wants to keep getting in for the foreseeable future), why are we romanticizing him? He’s a selfish jackass.

You can have a grumpy (but ultimately caring and good-natured) character, that's fine. But if he only treats people like humans when it benefits him - that's not sexy, that's sociopathic.

8. Love Cures All

Ahhh, the worst of them all. Truly, having a character who suffers from mental illness or has a major trauma, but oh look, they got some cuddles from the love interest and now they are all good!

Just stop, please. It’s so damaging to the people who are going through this, to tell them that all they need to feel better is ~~~LoVe~~~. And if they aren’t getting better? Well, they just haven’t gotten enough ~~~LoVe~~~!

It’s also damaging to the partner - no one should have this much responsibility on their shoulders.

Obviously, the love of a partner, friends, and family can HELP with the healing process, but it’s not enough by itself. Get them some goddamn therapy, please.

9. Accidental Pregnancy

I don’t know about you, but for most people I know, myself included, accidental pregnancy would be an absolute nightmare, not something romantic.

Do you know how bad my entire generation is doing financially? And people use this as a plot device to strengthen the relationship?

Also, relationships get weaker after having a child, not stronger. Babies are cute when they are sleeping, the rest of the time they are crying, screaming messes. Yeah, why wouldn’t sleep deprivation and constantly hurting everywhere strengthen your relationship? 🙄🙄🙄

10. Violent Men

IRL, violent men are scary, not sexy. Even if the violence is never directed at the love interest, chances are that over time it will be. But even if it’s not, why would you ever want to date someone who has the emotional maturity of a pre-schooler?

Because after pre-school, kids tend to learn to solve their problems with their words. But I guess your love interest hasn’t matured past the age of 6, which coincidentally also leads back to the first trope on this list. Charming.

#write #writer #writing #writing tips #tropes #bad romance #bad romance tropes #top 10 #top 10 list #writeblr #writblr #mine

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winw7n · 4 years

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hello beauties, been a little inactive this week. just personal reasons. im generally in my own head and it is harmful for my health. ive taken some time back to reflect on how im doing, not only mentally but physically.

mentally, ill be honest. im more sensitive than ever. the trauma that has been scarred on me over the last year still effects my everyday life. i find myself crying at things that seem minuscule, but i now realise, my feelings and emotions are so valid! if it upsets me, it upsets me and there’s no debating that. im coping, taking every day at a time, and really trying my best to work on my mind!

physically, i have a very strange view of myself. some days im extremely positive, but most, i hate myself. i hate that i sleep from 6am to 2pm. i hate that i deprive myself on food, and judge myself when i comsume the smallest meal. i neglect all my irl friends because i don’t have the energy to see them anymore. i truly adore them, but i feel miserable doing anything that isn’t laying in my bed. today, i cleaned the house, ate some lunch, and now i’m watching videos of nct (127) to make me smile.

all that being said, i’m glad it is off my chest. it’s been resting there for a while. i’m not better, no where near, but i’m alright. i’m lucky to have friends around me who care, and i love them so much.

also, if you read this far, i’m so sorry HAHA. i hope you’re having a good day, taking care of yourself and smiling today! i looooove you all sm

#kasey talks #tw depression #tw trauma #tw eating mention #tw ed content #tw negative thoughts #delete later

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lomo-is-not-cool · 7 years

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taggedy tagged by a pal

@gayplant18 tagged me a while ago and I just remembered ayyy

THE LAST

1. drink: waterrrrr bc I’m a healthy ass bitch alright

2. phone call: uh I think my friend Kate who was dying of boredom

3. text message: “gn, love you!” with a heart emoji, to @cat-waffles

4. song: Dear Happy by Dodie Clark and Thomas Sanders because the song is the best damn thing that has ever happened oml

5. last time you cried: idk I cry a lot so it was probably recently about something being too cute or so smol

6. dated someone twice: lol no bc I get hurt easily

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope, I have only kissed on lips for dares and spin the bottle and that’s nbd

8. lost someone special: a lot of people leave me or die so yeah

9. been cheated on: OMG ACTUALLY YES AND IT HURTS LIKE FUCK BC IT’S LIKE “OH I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH?”

10. been depressed: bruh I wear my mental illness like a cozy sweater I’m used to it

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nopetynopenope I plan to never drink bc I grew up around alcoholics and they’re scary

3 favorite colors:

12. mint green

13. teal

14. sunshine yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR:

15. fallen out of love: no, fallen in love though

16. laughed until you cried: SO MANY TIMES

17. found out someone was talking about you: actually yes and I cried a lot because they said some really mean things

18. met someone who changed you: so many... I kinda also met myself more and that made me change a bit

19. found out who your friends are: oml I hope this is the end of all the drama that taught me because that hurt so bad

20. kissed someone on your facebook list: I don’t have a facebook

GENERAL:

21. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: see 20

22. do you have any pets: a cat who is pretty but so mean to me

23. do you want to change your name: I’ve wanted to since I was little

24. what did you do for your last birthday: I was in the midst of the friend issues so I had a family party and invited my closest friends left one of whom is @curlycue-otaku and it was actually pretty great to get to be with them

25. what time did you wake up: I am notorious for waking at 2 in the afternoon, ask @cat-waffles who gets really annoyed

26. what were you doing last midnight: it’s 1 a.m. now so doing this

27. something you can’t wait for: death

28. last time you saw your mom: a while ago when my cat was scaring me and I called for help

29. listening to right now: I’m watching How I Met Your Mother in the background

30. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: don’t think so

31. getting on your nerves: people not RESPONDING

32. most visited website: Tumblr or twitter or discord idk

33: hair color: blonde

34. short or long hair: short hair ay

35: do you have a crush on someone: my amAZING DATE MATE

36. what do you like about yourself: well uh rn I feel good so my body and my hair and my ability to pretend to be happy rlly good

37. any piercings: ears but they are closing

38. blood type: O negative so I could donate to any of y’all if you need blood

39. nickname: a lot, but daddy, lornan dune, and sunshine stick out

40. relationship status: HI @cat-waffles

41. zodiac: taurus bitch

42. pronouns: literally any but she sits oddly sometimes idk

43. fave t.v. show: Stranger Things or Riverdale

44. tattoos: I have many many planned

45. right or left handed: ambidextrous, I usually write with my right but left is my primary hand for singing in sign language

46. surgery: no, but I will have to get surgery eventually

47. sport: failing at life

48. vacation: FRANCE OR JAPAN BRUH

49. pair of trainers: idk what that is honestly lol

50. eating: just ate an apple yee

51. drinking: waterrrrrr

52. I’m about to: idk maybe sleep or not

53: waiting for: depression to come back bc I am used to it

54. want: I don’t know? family that likes having me around?

55. Get married: eventually

56, Career: I want to be a pediatric surgeon or a teacher or a voice actor or a lawyer but my DREAM IS TO BE A DISNEY PRINCESS AT DIDNEY WHORL

WHICH IS BETTER:

57. hugs or kisses: BOTH

58. Lips or eyes: eyes

59. short or tall: SHORT BC IT’S SO CUTE

60. older or younger: I like lil kids

61, arms or tummy: on myself? BITCH I WANT BOTH

62. hookup or relationship: relationship 100%

63. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

64. kissed a stranger: yee

65. drank hard liquor: noooooo

66. lost my glasses: every damn day

67. turned someone down: a lot actually oops

68. sex on the first date: noooooo

69. had your heart broken: yeah, more by friends and family members than people I date

70. been arrested: NO BUT I GOT TALKED TO BY A POLICE OFFICER RECENTLY

71. cried when someone died: I used to cry when people died but at like funeral 12 it stopped because I got numb to it

72. fallen for a friend: every damn time dude

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

73. yourself: hell nah

74. miracles: yes

75. love at first sight: I’ve felt it so yes

76. Santa: nope

77. kiss on a first date: not for meeee

78. Angels: kinda

OTHER:

eye color: idfk

favorite movie(s): THE NEW SPIDERNAN AHHHHHH

tag 20 peeps: I don’t have many friends and I don’t wish this work upon any other sleep deprived beings like myself but go ahead and say I tagged ya

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