sometimes I can’t help but wonder why grian is the way he is, especially with scar. scar offers him unconditional love and compassion, no matter the world. third life they were partners. last life scar clearly wanted a team with grian in the beginning. double life was… very convoluted but there was still that love there. and teaming with grian in limited life seemed to be all that scar wanted.

and yet grian pushes and pulls. he pulls scar close, reaches for him. but just before scar can get too close, grian pushes him away.

he kills him. he steals from him. he does things that really, scar should hate him for.

and it makes me wonder why. I mean, grian has unconditional love being offered to him. but he never takes it. not fully at least. there’s always a surface level acceptance. he gives just enough but takes so much more.

and we all know “grian is scared of killing scar again after third life”, but I can’t help but think it goes so much deeper than that. because on some level, grian does reciprocate scar’s feelings. he does love scar. his actions say that much.

but he’s always pushing scar away. maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to believe that scar’s love isn’t just something that scar is going to take away; like pulling the rug out from under him. maybe it’s because grian is afraid of giving scar an opportunity to betray him first.

or maybe he’s scared of the vulnerability that comes with loving and being loved. so he hurts scar before scar can hurt him, and it’s a way of keeping himself self (while also breaking himself down without realizing it).

and scar? I think scar sees all of that. grian’s fears and his defense mechanisms. yet he loves him in despite of it all. he continues to offer grian love and kindness, even as grian stabs him in the back. even as grian pushes him away to protect both scar and himself.

it’s like scar is trying to coax a wounded animal out from the corner. he’s patient. he’s kind. he’s loving. and he tries to show grian that he can be dangerous too, so that maybe grian won’t feel as scared. he tries to show grian that his love really is unconditional, that it isn’t a trick.

but grian is so buried in his fears that he doesn’t see it.

@naffeclipse realized it's criminal I haven't drawn him with claws so far, since I love inflicting retractable claws on any version of the dca I touch

*self insert is not a girl (he/she)

og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!

she's looking especially sacrificial lamb today 🥩

pov it’s the night of December 2nd 2013 and you’ve just burst into your grandsons room to pick him up so he’s not down there when you blow up the world the guy who ruined your life is from because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let him stay down there with everyone else which is Really fucking weird because you thought even coming back here in the first place meant giving up forever on anything for the rest of your life but this goddamn kid stops you from blowing up the planet and now you’re basically permanently fucked because now you’re just gonna have to keep on living and it’s because you love him. and tomorrow morning you will be running from alien police with him

Late night magma with @muzzlemouths!

^ dead mall dare au moon leaning on the movie projector in Waning Lights theater (probably just after he had to mess around and fix the worn thing).

Can you guess what movie is playing?

tattoo truth prequel lmao

why aren't we drawing bato more... he is such a headsome guy.... like we should apriciate him more???

Velika is so fucking funny because he's an evil god in the body of a funny little guy and every time he says literally anything he has his worstie absolutely frothing at the mouth

I'm half asleep and running basically entirely on hyperfixation fumes so this thought process might be literally nothing but I'm thinking about how we as the viewer don't get to start making decisions in the Markiplier Cinematic Universe Canon until after the DA's death in WKM. We experience the entire series through their point of view and it's presumed we continue to inhabit their character throughout the canon (at least through date and heist, I'm ignoring space for my purposes bc my grasp on how that fits into the story is fuzzy at best on a good day lmao) but it isn't until after the events of wkm have played out that we start making decisions on their behalf

But anyways something something at the end of wkm they die at the hands of Wil, and they give up their body to Damien and Celine, and their story to Mark, and their autonomy to the viewer. Someone who isn't eepy as hell turn this into a more coherent line of thought for me

pros of waking up earlier in the morning: wow i’m getting so much work done. i have so much time for the rest of the day. what do you mean i’m already almost done with this assignment it’s not even noon yet?

cons of waking up earlier in the morning: i have to actually wake up early in the morning

attempting yet again to rejigger my yet again extremely fucked sleep cycle and. experiencing repercussions

I woke up with a strange sudden compulsion to write smutty dubcon Azris and uhhh almost 3k words later we all need to promise to be so chill about this okay?

good morning my personality for the day is that i'm uncontrollably sobbing on the inside about ff9 and ff10

Me, yesterday, 5:30 PM: wow I’m honestly doing so great at my adult tasks; I’ve gotten some homework done, I went grocery shopping, my laundry is almost dry. I spent so many spoons and I barely feel tired! Maybe I’m finally fully recovering from burnout!

Me, yesterday, 6:00 PM: oh.

Somebody posted a comment on Every. Single. Chapter. Of Never Had the Chance. I am in heaven. Happiness is mine!

I can't for the life of me find that daft Vince McMahon reaction meme with which to adequately express myself, which is infuriating.

But suffice to say that a lovely person read my fic last night, leaving lovely, lovely comments on every chapter as they went, and now, nearly 24 hours later, I'm still on fuckin' cloud nine about it!