#without ruining her childhood and her special christmas morning
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“I n-need help.” Rain-soaked clothes cling to his body where he shivers on the doorstep.
Just inside the doorway stands Emory, blocking the warm yellow glow of the Christmas tree with his body. His eyes widen but he stays tucked between the door and the frame. “Lux.” He wants to crouch down, scoop him up, carry him in. But there is something dangerous inside: a wonderstruck little girl fawning over all her presents in pretty paper and bows. A little girl who has no idea that anyone ever gets hurt, and who thinks her dad is away on a trip to pick up the best present of all for her.
“It’s Christmas morning,” Emory adds finally, face twisted with distress. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t bring Lux inside, Penny can’t see him like this. But it’s so cold outside, and Lux looks like he’s in so much pain.
“...Need help,” Repeats the miserable warlock. “Just… g-get me to, to the side of the house, to hide. And then - and then - I can h-heal. I just…”
“You’re scared. Okay. Yeah, okay.” Swallowing his fear of ruining their daughter’s magical morning, Emory steps out into the rain. A chill runs down his spine when descending the two steps to the pathway reveals the bad angle of Lux’s leg. In a practiced motion he kneels and gathers his husband up into a better shape to guide him to his feet. Lux isn’t so thin anymore; he finally has enough muscle and dad-pudge to make his shoulders bigger and add some weight to him.
Besides, unfortunately, Emory knows that Lux can limp along on a broken leg without screaming.
The puddles complain with feeble splashes at being disturbed by dragging feet. The bricks on the side of the house catch them as Lux and Emory half-collapse together. The rough stone catches Emory’s knuckles and scores scrapes across the skin there as he protects Lux’s head without a second thought. They’ve fallen together enough times for him to see that coming.
The collision with the wall and muddy ground is finally enough to punch a sound out of Lux. It strikes Emory as horrifying that he was hesitant to come out and help when he hears that whimper. It sounds so different from how Lux’s sounds used to, like he was using a voice back in his twenties that the Hunter would be more entertained by. Letting his voice go high and cracked. Now, his voice is deeper, and that makes the soft, broken sound worse. Lux doesn’t sound like someone who makes pitiful sounds anymore.
“What happened, honey?” Emory asks softly as he checks on those shoulders first. The right one is just tense, the left one being touched makes Lux snap his head back against the bricks. He doesn’t scream, but it’s obvious that he needs to. Rain splatters across rapidly paling cheeks, droplets catching in his short beard that was just scruff a few days ago.
“Him. Just - a popped shoulder, uh, busted ribs, leg needs… you know.”
It looks exhausting for Lux to speak. A soft hand wrapped in band-aids cups his cheek as Emory leans in to tip his head down, their foreheads touching and the world seeming to close in comfortably around them. “Do you want to heal up, come in, get changed? She’ll be so happy to see you.”
It was supposed to be reassuring, but Emory can tell it came off as dismissive instead. Lux keeps his eyes closed and frowns deeper like he does when he’s holding back tears. “Yeah, I just… need a minute?” His voice cracks at the end. “Because I f-felt small again and I don’t feel like a dad right now.”
Their daughter inside the house, waiting on jumpy legs to finally get to open presents, weighs on Emory’s mind urgently like a stove left lit. But the Lux trying not to weep right in front of him is a concern more of the world-endingly devastating variety. Seeing Lux needing to cry always chokes him up, too, and it takes deliberate effort not to crack right now. “Okay, Curls. Take a minute. You’re home. Let’s get this shoulder healed first, what do you think? Make it hurt less so you can breathe.”
Lux’s staggered gasps stop for a second, and then comes a tense chuckle at the realization that he was struggling to get enough air around the agony. “You think, you th-think, fuck…” The curse comes in a practiced whisper to protect little ears. “Stupid, the stupid stuttering, I didn’t miss that.”
“It still happens when you’re stressed, sometimes.”
“Well I hate it a lot, a lot more when it’s because of him.”
Emory hums, whipping back tangled sopping hair that looks straight right now, but will be fluffy and curly once it’s dried out. “Just breathe and think of bed. The black blanket and the pillows. You can use your magic, it’s safe and we’ll be warm soon.”
A shuddery sigh comes at the guiding reassurances. With the deliberate calm and focus that comes, Lux allows blue-white light to blossom in his palms. His eyes blink open to squint toward the street, because as protected by the side of the house and the fence as they are, someone could drive by and see, and then…
“It’s safe,” Emory reminds, his hand on Lux’s cheek guiding him away from looking compulsively for danger. “Fix that shoulder. We have a few more minutes before she tears the presents to shreds, I think.”
That startles a laugh out of Lux, but at the same time his magic flares and dies out, his brows drawing up in upset. “He - he, Em, he tried to use - he tried to use her. Against me.” It’s all a whisper, a hoarse confession. Emory draws back in instant protective worry as he listens hard. Lux presses a hand to the ground and digs his fingers into the mud. “He made an illusion, a, he used magic on a box so when I opened it, I’d - her earrings were in there. I thought they were. I told him - I told him, I made sure he knew not to, not to ever come here, or even - he knows not to. Not to go near her.”
“We have to kill him. Get someone to. Move, we’ll have to move…”
“Em.” Lux looks like he wants to scream again, but more from emotion than pain this time. He remains quiet and weak against the wall. “There’s nothing else to do. He’s not coming close. I just - don’t try to - I don’t need…” Every raindrop that crashes into him is an assault on his senses. He can’t stand this kind of pain anymore, not when he has things to do. A family to pay attention to. When he was twenty it was fine to spend days curled up whining and crying, sleeping, wallowing. Now it feels like a waste of time to even explain what happened to Emory. “I made him sorry. Scared him. He erased my, made it so I couldn’t…”
It’s just a fact that the Hunter erased his memory of opening that gift, and that Lux found the mind magic in his own head and tore it apart to remember. Mentioning the assault on his mind is still hard, though, and he chokes on it.
“...Just. He knows not to, and I got out. I’m just s-, I’m - yeah. Scared. God, I miss being an annoying crying kid and Anders bullying me into taking a break.” A self-interrupting, chaotic sob-sigh, and he sinks further toward the ground. Impatiently he lifts a hand, summons that magic back to his palm, and heals the dislocated shoulder. He takes the joint thunking back into its socket like a punch to the gut instead of bone grinding on bone and nerves twisting unbearably. “Fuck,” He whispers again, as if mentioning Anders makes it impossible not to curse.
“Sorry.” Emory crouches close again, taking the liberty to adjust Lux’s broken leg so it’s closer to the core of his body. Lux is pale as a ghost but doesn’t complain, as he can finally reach the limb with his magic and pour some light into it. “Sorry, Curls. I know you didn’t ask for this. I know you… you can keep her safe.”
The warlock hums in agreement, then squeezes his eyes shut and raises his free hand to bite down on the side of it. Shaky breaths hiss out around the bite as his leg straightens and mends itself.
“H-hard to, to numb at the, same time,” He pants as Emory brushes his hair back.
“I know, honey. Come on, gotta get up.”
The puddle that they passed through earlier sloshes back out of the divot in the yard as they trudge through, and the front door opens with a squeak of complaint.
There is a tremendous racket of clinking glass, crumpling paper, and what sounds suspiciously like a pine tree knocking back against a wall. Penny comes running out into the hall with pine needles in her hair and a cloth snowflake ornament trapped in her sleeve. Her eyes go huge and round when she sees both of her dads, not just the one who stepped outside.
“Dad needs a break,” Emory says with quick, practiced ease before she can run in and hug Lux. “He fell down in the rain coming home! Isn’t that silly?”
“Daaaaaad,” Penelope complains and rolls her eyes, sending her whole head lolling back and her arms flapping once at her sides with the exaggerated gesture. “Ew.”
Lux tips his head down to see the mud they tracked in, and the growing puddle beneath them. “Ew,” He agrees, and smiles. It’s so warm in here, he almost wants to just sink to the floor and sprawl across it. “I’m gonna go take a shower get on my Christmas jammies. Then presents?”
The little girl stands still, suddenly, and clearly has a miniature crisis. “Yeah, uh - uh, Papa, you can, you can help, you can go help.”
Emory tips his head. “I don’t think Dad needs help with-”
Off she goes, unleashing a tornado in the living room to try to clean up and hide the evidence of her sneaky present opening.
#dad lux and dad emory are so cute#it's so messy and heavy how they try to keep penny protected#make sure she doesn't know about torture and mind magic and death#it involves a lot of lying and hiding aches#but they work so hard for her to has a safe spoiled happy life#and lux would be devastated if he didn't even get to come home from the hunter#without ruining her childhood and her special christmas morning#ugh i am having so much fun with slightly gruff dadlux#mine#lux#emory#penny#broken bones
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Anything for you - Katsuki Bakugo x Afab!Reader
A/N: This work was inspired by this request that i couldn´t accomplished 2 months ago due to a lot thing that happened to me in that period, but here it is now, and i hope this is of the liking of anyone who reads it. Specially, the person that send it. :)
Angst to Fluff to Comfort.
Warnings: mentions of non consensual sex with a past partner, mentions of consensual sex with current partner, mentions of drugs, mentions of symptoms of PTSD. READ UNDER YOUR RESPONSABILITY.
Words: 2k
No proofread so it might have some errors hahaha :p
It happened when you were 17 years old, almost 6 years ago. He was your first boyfriend, and it was the very first time you had a sexual encounter. To be honest, you don´t even remember how it happened, you just remember the tears your eyes spilled while begging him to stop, the way your body just froze, and how your mind shut down to protect you from more damage besides the one it was suffering. You were an UA student at the time, and the man that ruined your life an ex-classmate from your old school who you happened to know since childhood.
"Is it Christmas already?" a hoarse voice said behind you and your body automatically tense after recognizing it “Look what a cutie you turn out to become” it continued to speak in a flirty tone. You didn’t turn, you were in panic.
You and Katsuki had had a date that morning and you needed to buy some ingredients before getting back home to make dinner together. But your boyfriend had left to go to the bathroom just 5 minutes before it all happened. To this moment your life had been better than you ever imagine. You had a strong and handsome boyfriend who you recently moved in with; you accomplished your dream of becoming a hero and you were improving yourself constantly in every aspect of your life. So, this had to be a sick joke, right?
“Hey, look at me!” the man forced you to turn around. You could have punch him, break his arm or something for the matter, you were a pro hero for God´s sake… but in that moment you couldn´t react, your body was afraid of moving “I heard you are dating Dynamight” he smirked “Is he enjoying my leftovers? I bet he is. You are a sweet little thing anyways.” Your eyes opened in terror, you didn´t know what to do, how to react.
“Leave me alone… please” you almost beg with watery eyes.
“Awn, are you going to cry? Weren´t you a strong hero? I think you are more like a fragile doll.” He mocked.
“Stop.” You murmured “please. Just let me go.” you were crying at this point.
“But we are just starting, pretty” the man pushed you towards the shelves, trapping you with his body. He bent over with a twisted smile and tried to reach your lips, but then a muscular arm shoved the man and made him fall on his arm.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing!?” the loud voice of Katsuki resonated along the market “Who the fuck do you think you are to lay a finger on her, huh!?” with heavy and long strides your boyfriend was on top of the man in less than a second, holding him by the shirt. He had a murderous expression on his face.
“Katsuki…” your voice was weak, you were shaking.
“Are you ok, princess?” Katsuki asked in a sweet and gentle tone without taking his eyes from the man whining of terror under him. You nodded even when he couldn´t see you.
“I wasn´t doing anything, dude” the man said with panic in his voice “She´s an old friend and I just wanted to say hello.”
“You don´t need to be that close just to say hello…” Katsuki growled. And due to the loud voice of your boyfriend, other costumers started to accumulate around you three. If some customer took a picture or a video of what was happening and share it on social media, the career of Katsuki would be fucked. The press and his haters on social media were looking for an excuse to talk shit about him anytime given, and it was obvious that they weren´t going to take the time to investigate what was really going on. So, struggling to put yourself together you decided to act. You reached for your boyfriend´s hand, helped him to get up, and got out of the store the faster your trembling knees allowed you to.
The tension in the ride home was more than evident. Of course, Katsuki wasn´t mad at you, but he wasn´t happy either. He had a lot of things to ask you, but he couldn´t pressure you. He didn´t want to put you into more stress. Not after how you reacted to that jerk. He couldn´t comprehend. You were one of the best at martial arts of the heroes he knew, so that man had to be someone you were painfully scared of. A bully maybe? He tsked. That was plausible, you always have been sweet, and to be honest, a little naïve in your younger years.
When you entered the shared apartment, your nervousness took the better of you, and you ran to the bathroom with the excuse of feeling tired and the need of taking a shower before going to bed. Katsuki wasn´t a fool and you knew it, but you didn’t have the energy nor the courage to be confronted about what happened at the store just yet. Katsuki let you be for the moment. You´d open up to him later, you had to if you wanted to maintain the kind relationship you two had.
You love Katsuki, a lot. You could even say that you´ve never loved anyone like that before. That didn’t mean that you were that experience at the romantic department, because you only had two boyfriends besides him: Shinso and Yo, but to be honest, even when you loved each of them, you never felt the connection you had with Katsuki. If soulmates were real, you were sure he was yours, and you will do everything in your power to stay with him for as long as he wanted you to. It was that, right now… you just wanted to cry, and you didn’t want Katsuki to see you like that… You thought that therapy had helped, that it was just a bad experience and that you wouldn´t let it get in your way… that you had get over it and put it in the back of your mind so it would never bother you again, but you were wrong. That voice, that smell, that presence was… terrifying.
Once you opened the shower, you let yourself being engulfed by the warm of the water and let your eyes spill the pain your soul and heart were holding. Bakugo could hear your crying clearly from the outside, and he would be lying if he didn´t had the instinct to run inside the bathroom and held you the better he can. His heart was suffering seeing you suffering. He couldn´t help but feeling enraged at himself for not being able to help you. The love of his life was in pain because of something an asshole has done to her in the past and he wasn´t there to protect you.
You were calmer right now. You´d cried enough and were ready lo leave the bathroom and face your boyfriend. You thought he was going to be waiting for you sitting on the edge of the bed to confront you about what happened a few hours ago, but he wasn´t there.
“Kats?” you asked peeking your head through the door.
“Kitchen!” he answered. You smiled and let your feet guide you to him.
“Hey…” you murmured. Your boyfriend was making dinner himself. He glanced to you over his shoulder and smiled “I thought we were gonna cook together.”
“It´s ok, you can rest.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, sure.”
You knew that once he had decided something you could never change his mind, so you decided the wiser and made yourself comfortable on the couch in front of the TV. And after a couple of minutes scrolling aimlessly through Netflix, you decided on watching some new anime about zombies that has just been released. And when you pushed play, you felt the weight of your boyfriend sank besides you and his arm snake around your waist to pull you towards his chest. He then kissed your temple and let a deep sigh escape his chest. You knew what he was thinking about.
“You know I love you, right?” he whispered in the soft tone only you had been able to pull out of him.
“I love you too…” you answered with your eyes processing the images on the TV. Somehow the protagonist of the show reminded you of Izuku, you smiled softly.
“What is it?” he questioned.
“He reminds me of Izuku.” To that he let a giggle escape his mouth.
“You´re fucking right. He does looks and acts like Deku. Bet he is a loser too.”
“Hey, don´t be mean, I think he is cute” Bakugo groaned and raised a brow.
“You think Deku is cute? Seriously?”
“Well, yeah. He´s cute like a baby panda type of cute.”
“So, you are into nerds?” He said in disbelieved.
“Well, I´m into you.”
“I´m not a nerd.”
“I wasn´t the third place in grades at school.” You retorted while laughing.
“Oh, is that so?” he placed you on his lap with one swift movement.
“Katsuki!” you shrieked taken aback. You were now facing him. His face with a glint of joy and mischief on his features. “You could have injured me or something, you know?”
“I would never.” He spoke softly. His face turning into a sad expression. “I will kill myself before doing something that could hurt you.” You frowned. You knew exactly what was this about.
“That man…” you started, avoiding his eyes “He was my first boyfriend and my first sexual experience…” you stuttered, Katsuki adjusted his hands on your back so you could feel secure in his arms “I- I didn´t wanna do it, and he forced me to do it…” your eyes watered at the memory and the body of your boyfriend tensed, clenching his fist on your clothes unconsciously.
“What…?” his mind could not process the information properly.
“I begged him to stop, but he kept going.” You were crying at this point “I never said anything because I thought that no one would believe me, but… I took therapy and…” Katsuki wanted to murder him. Really. He was sure that it destiny put the bastard in front of him again, he wouldn´t let him go alive. But right now, he just wanted to comfort you “I´m sorry” you said weakly.
“For what?”
“Because I didn´t tell you…” you sobbed, and his hand landed softly on your cheek. He brushed the tears away and with the softest voice he had ever spoken to you said “You have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn´t your fault. Thanks for sharing this with me.”
You embraced him, crying again but this time from happiness. The hand on your back held you close to his chest, while the other hand tried to sooth you, rubbing your back “It´s ok, love. I´m here. I´m never gonna let anyone hurt you ever again.” You sat straight to look him in the eyes, and then you squished his cheeks on both your hands. “What the fuck!?” he opened his eyes in almost panic.
“You are so cute…” you said with the biggest smile he´s seen on you.
“No, I´m not, you idiot” he tried to defend himself but wasn´t really fighting you back.
“And you make so happy…” you whispered leaning towards him to give a kiss on the lips that he responded to almost instantly.
After a couple of minutes, the soft kisses turned into passionate kisses, completely forgetting about the show you were watching, the food Katsuki was making or the entire world outside. He caressed your face with both his hands, whispering little I love you´s between kisses. You sighed, glad to be in love and being love by a man like Katsuki.
That night, after eating dinner and turning off the TV, he made love to you. The sweetest and softest way he could. Worshipping your body, kissing the bruises of the battle, holding your hands in his, making you cum like nobody else would. Just reminding you that he was by your side from now on and that he would never leave you alone.
This week was your first week off in months. No hero duty, no filling documents, no calls from the police station to arrest a villain, just pure laziness at home. You loved this way of living, but you missed the heat of your boyfriend besides you. Unfortunately, he was the head of his own agency with Kirishima and couldn´t have many vacations, at least no when he was on a big mission about a bunch of villains related with very dangerous drugs. And today was the day he was going to put them under arrest, so you took a rest from the anime you were watching to scroll through social media looking for any news about the case, and you find them a couple of minutes after.
You sheepishly smiled to yourself when you caught a glimpse of the gorgeous scowl of your boyfriend in his winter hero suit while talking to the police. You had to admit that his serious expression was sexy. You continued to scroll in search for some good pictures of him to download, until a video of him manhandling a resisting man came up. Your eyes almost popped out of your skull when you recognized who it was.
You search for more information about the man and the reason of his detention and found out that he was being charged for possession and distribution of drugs, plus the aggression towards a hero. All of that could cost him at least 12 years in prison. As the hero you were yourself, and above all the girlfriend of Katsuki, you knew that it was all a lie. That your boyfriend had incriminated this man for what he did to you, and while a part of you was mad at him for use his authority for this, the other part was very pleased to see the bastard behind bars even when it wasn´t for the crime he must have been paying for.
You truly loved Katsuki and everything he could do for you…
#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugou imagine#katsuki bakugo smut#bakugou fluff#bnha bakugou#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#dynamight
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˗ˏˋ@bukojuiice’s BNHA masterlistˎˊ˗
REQUESTS: [CLOSED]
© bukojuiice - all rights reserved. please do not repost, distribute, copy, or plagiarize my work. please ask for permission if you wish to use my work for asmr or for voice overs. thank you!
➸ Headcanons
♡ ྀ “midoriya, bakugo and todoroki cramming school works with their S/O”
♡ ྀ “baby it’s cold outside.” (katsuki bakugo christmas hcs)
♡ ྀ “going to Universal Studios Japan with them”
♡ ྀ “how you spend a virtual valentines date in quarantine w/ them”
♡ ྀ what happens when the bakusquad babysits Katsuki’s daughter?
♡ ྀ i like you a latte. (Coffee Shop AU! Headcanons)
♡ ྀ what they would be like as disney princes
♡ ྀ their wedding day with you
♡ ྀ the lovey-dovey things they do with you while you're both stuck at home during quarantine
♡ ྀ the kinds of movies he’d watch with you.
♡ ྀ when he does the lip bite
♡ ྀ when they read self-insert fanfiction of themselves
♡ ྀ cat ears or maid outfit?
♡ ྀ how dekusquad + bakusquad comfort you after getting your heartbroken
♡ ྀ mha boys accompanying you to buy lingerie
➸ Izuku Midoriya
Fics ↝
♡ ྀ I will hold on to everything we got. A quitter, regretter and forgiver is everything I’m not.
(↳ unprompted and unexpected goodbyes are the worst. how are you going to be able to tell izuku the fact that you were moving away from the city that the two of you have lived in, grew up in, and soon became the place where the two of you fell in love with each other? how could you let this precious cinnamon roll go?)
♡ ྀ she’s not afraid of scary movies, she likes the way we kiss in the dark.
( ↳ it is your weekly movie night with Izuku and co, but whilst waiting for your other friends, you and your boyfriend had the most wonderful idea of watching a gory horror movie.)
♡ ྀ as the world caves in
( ↳ no one else could ever carry the burden that Izuku holds in his hands. But when a girl from his past helps bring him to a realization, he begins to contemplate on whether or not sacrificing everything that you love to become a hero is worth it all.)
➸ Katsuki Bakugo
Cuddle Buddy! (Social Media AU)
Katsuki’s Convenience (Social Media AU)
Fics ↝
♡ ྀ thank god for plot twists like you.
( ↳ Katsuki barges in your dorm room after class to see you crying in your bed with your phone in your hand… but why exactly?)
♡ ྀ the s in studying stands for sexy times (implied smut!)
( ↳ katsuki is helping you study for your finals. but to no avail, none of the articles you were reviewing were processing inside your mind at all. until, katsuki had thought of a great idea to help you study. a spicy one at that.)
♡ ྀ you fell from the sky into my lap (smut)
( ↳ You and Katsuki become one as the two of you get in the mood with the music on his Spotify playlist.)
♡ ྀ my world is changed and it’s cradled by the comfort that is you.
( ↳ After receiving a quarterly report on the status of your hero internships and as a 3rd year student of UA Academy, your day is ruined as soon as you began to read it’s contents. Your explosive boyfriend does not want to see you like this. But how can he possibly cheer you up?)
♡ ྀ like the soul of honey
( ↳ Christmas finally approaches and your daughter, Hikari, can’t wait to spend it with the best parents ever.)
♡ ྀ you got questions, i got answers tonight, babe. (smut!)
( ↳ you and the bakusquad drag bakugo to a short vacation after such an intense week of hero work, much to his annoyance. however, his stress and pent up energy was more than you expected, so you knew exactly how to release all his frustrations.)
♡ ྀ fix you. (studio ghibli au! princess mononoke au!)
( ↳ Katsuki Bakugo is the righteous yet arrogant village prince of the east. The entire village relies on him for protection and for guidance, further inflating his ego. however, after a cursed boar attacks him and the curse is passed on to him as a poisonous mark on his arm, slowly consuming him until he becomes a demon himself. he is exiled without hesitance from his village and is to go on a journey to look for a cure, a journey he might never come back from. With the help of two of his most trusted allies, he embarks on a journey to look for the gods of the forest in where he meets a girl (just as striking as him) who brings him back down to earth, saves him and make him experience a true life worth living.)
♡ ྀ 25 lives (time traveler au!)
( ↳ After losing the love of his life in a brutal villain incident, Katsuki Bakugo had lost a part of him. Nothing and no one could ever bring her back. He became the shell of a person he once was; fiery, bright, and the driven #2 Pro-hero in the country. He continues to live life with guilt, all hope still lost until he is gifted a time device that can transport him to parallel universes, dimensions and alternate worlds, where he begins his quest to find his lost love. Crossing a hundred of realities and living twenty-five lifetimes just to bring her back into his arms. )
♡ ྀ to the most explosive boy i’ve ever loved before
( ↳ six letters. one for every boy you’ve ever loved. The letters for your eyes only, filled with all the words you could never say. until, one day, they start appearing out of nowhere into your life again, and your love life goes from imaginary to out of control.)
♡ ྀ lovesick girl
( ↳ your planned birthday surprise for katsuki takes a turn for the worst when you’re suddenly struck by a cold, prompting your dynamite boyfriend to take care of you and shower you with love and affection on his special day.)
♡ ྀ nicotine and faded dreams (smut!)
( ↳ Fame. Success. Glory. Bakugo’s had and seen it all, being a part of one of the biggest bands in the world. All he’s ever wanted was (Y/N), who comes back into his life just in time for the last leg of the band’s European tour. Bakugo thought that after making it big he wouldn’t have to face the muse for their most successful song any time soon. But a trip to Venice organized by scheming band mates has him stuck in a car with that very same muse. or Rock bands, a love Bakugo’s been trying to run away from and a cleverly schemed road trip: what could go wrong?)
♡ ྀ the morning afterglow
( ↳ basking in the hues of wonderment that is the morning sun with your explosive boyfriend by your side was truly a dream. lingering in the bed much longer was an absolute must. these are one of those days.)
➸ Todoroki Shoto
Fics ↝
♡ ྀ when you kiss me, heaven sighs.
( ↳ you and Shoto arrive in the city of love. the day seems perfect until things go awry.)
♡ ྀ a love like the movies
( ↳ Shoto spends his only day of rest and relaxation by watching iconic tv shows and sitcoms with you.)
♡ ྀ my youth is yours.
( ↳ shoto todoroki entered college with one thing in mind; be able to graduate and follow in his family’s footsteps. however, college had different plans for him. and meeting the one he would spend the rest of his life with was one of them.)
♡ ྀ merry go round of life (studio ghibli au, howl’s moving castle au)
( ↳ shoto todoroki is a magical prince who yearns for freedom. with the entire country against him, and the freedom he ever so wanted barely in his grasp- he seeks solace in a girl who works in a hat shop. she was his comfort in days full of disaster and war. and ever since then, he has finally found a reason to live.)
♡ ྀ something in the rain
( ↳ you and shoto were once childhood best friends and sweethearts who had lost touch and communication. 12 years has passed since then, and on a fated summer day in june, there was something in the rain that brought two lost souls back to each other’s arms.)
♡ ྀ are you feline what i’m feline? (smut!)
( ↳ blessed with a quirk that can temporarily transform any human being into any living thing they want through the means of potions and concoctions, you brew up a cat girl potion to surprise shoto for your second year anniversary. however, some accidents and mishaps happen, and you’re welcomed home by a handsome cat boy instead.
♡ ྀ if i could tell her
( ↳ in where shoto todoroki is hit by a sudden realization that the love of his life was right in front of him all along and all it takes is for her to cross the crossroads for him to finally realize.)
♡ ྀ written in the stars
( ↳ shoto takes you out on a special date. a date that entailed love in all it’s bare simplicity. love in all it’s highs and lows, and love that is worth being written in the stars.)
➸ Eijiro Kirishima
Fics ↝
♡ ྀ I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.
( ↳ It is your 1st year anniversary with Kirishima. With no idea how celebrate it, Kirishima asks for the aid of Bakusquad and they have very interesting ideas and plans to say the least. Will he succeed and plan a perfect surprise for you?)
#juliannewrites#bakugo x reader#mha x reader#todoroki shoto x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#shoto todoroki x reader#todoroki x reader#bnha x reader#kirishima x reader#deku x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#denki kaminari x reader#kaminari x reader#todoroki shoto x y/n#boku no hero academia x rader#my hero academia x reader
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A very long list of updated snowed in fic recs for @starsandmoony 💜
On my Way by Gia279 | 17.9K
Huge black paws smacked the window, followed by a fuzzy face smooshing up against it.
He scrambled over the gear shift, tipping into the passenger seat. Bear, he thought hysterically. It had to be a bear, a freaking bear.
A big pink tongue rolled out, lips pulling back as the creature panted.
I’ve got chills... They’re multiplying! by DropsOfAddiction | 12.3K | Explicit
Derek is literally wrapped around him, one heavy leg and one heavy arm pinning him tight to Derek‘s front.
Warm and steady breaths tickle the back of Stiles’ neck. He tries not to freak out and he wonders how he’s going to extract himself without waking Derek. He totally isn’t ready to face into this conversation.
Stiles stretches gently and Derek grumbles clutching him tighter in his sleep. Stiles tries not to yelp when Derek buries his face in the back of his neck.
Well fuck.
One Star Awake by zjofierose | 9.5K
When Stiles gets stranded in the snow one dark and snowy night, he's in real danger. Fortunately, he gets rescued by a man on a horse.
Emergency Contact by bewarethesmirk | 1.2K
“Derek here hasn’t left your side,” the nurse coos, and Derek glares at her back. “You’re so lucky to have such an adoring husband.”
snow day by kellifer_fic | 8.3K
“It’s not a big deal. It just happens when I’m… cold,” Stiles offers, scratching gingerly at his head with a claw and then grimacing at it like it’s betraying him.
“Are you serious?”
“Hey, who are you to judge, wolfman?”
Your love warms me up by Smowkie | 1.2K
“At least it’s slowing down,” Stiles said, his lips slightly blue tinted and his teeth clacking.
“Yeah,” Derek said. Stiles had his arm hooked with Derek’s, and he was stumbling a little as they walked. “Come on, keep walking, keep warm.”
“Yeah, keep walking,” Stiles agreed.
Derek didn’t like how weak he sounded.
In the Dark Midwinter, Light by rhysiana | 3.7K | Mature
Really, Derek and Stiles being sent to an empty druid's cabin to fetch a book for Deaton and then getting snowed in could have gone so, so much worse.
it doesn't have to be a snowman by triggeringthehealing (froggydarren) | 4.9K
The Beacon Beans coffee shop is what Stiles would refer to as a lifesaver. They supply his dose of sugar whenever he needs it, they don't ask questions, and their hot chocolate is delicious.
And now they're running a snowman building competition where the grand prize would get him an entire year's worth of drinks. Really, all he needs is a partner to team up with. Only everyone else from the pack already seems to have paired up.
three words have never come easy by the_problem_with_stardust | 1.5K | Mature
If someone had told Derek five years ago that Stiles Stilinski would be the one living in a secluded cabin in the woods, Derek never would have believed them. Even now, he had a hard time reconciling his memories of Stiles as a high schooler with the young man who preferred the quiet found amongst the trees.
Whenever he’d inquired, Stiles had just smiled that enigmatic smile, so like Deaton or Morrell, and said something about being unable to think around the bustle of town.
“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!” by jadore_hale | 2.3K
“I’m sorry,” Stiles sighed heavily, coming back down to earth, “But when you woke me up this morning and said that we needed to go out into the woods and find the evil Snow Witch that brought this shit here, I thought that was your emotionally stunted way of saying come build a snowman with me.”
In The Arms of A Werewolf by literaryoblivion | 9.2K
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Stiles is flabbergasted. How is this even possible? Werewolves he can take. Poisonous lizard creatures, sure. Once dead, now living creepy werewolf uncles, bit of a stretch but he can roll with it. Sacrificing ancient druids that masquerade as teachers, okay fine. But this?
An honest to god abominable snowman? In Beacon Hills, California no less?
Nope.
Winter Storm Stiles by 42hrb | 2K
Stiles isn’t looking forward to weathering his first snow storm on his own, then he meets a handsome stranger at the grocery store who might be able to help.
Find Me Sitting Fireside by kaistrex (weishen) | 13.2K
With the news that an Alpha wants Beacon Hills for their own, Derek and Stiles are forced to attend a couples retreat at a ski resort to learn their enemy’s identity. However, the threat is the least of Derek’s problems when he’s expected to fake a relationship, share a bed and suffer through candlelit dinners with the man he’s secretly been in love with for the past four years.
Waiting for Winter by Twice_Shy (notboldly) | 3.2K
Everyone had a soulmark, a special shape on their body that formed during childhood and was meant to lead each person to their soulmate.
Unfortunately, Derek’s soulmark is shaped like a snowflake, and that fact has been actively ruining his life since he was six years old.
world tilts by wearing_tearing | 1.5K
The guy is gorgeous as hell, and Stiles kind of wishes he could stare at him forever.
He figures he deserves a treat after almost slipping to his death.
Wait, What? by wangler | 5.3K
When a significant portion of the Beacon Hills Preserve ends up coated in three entire inches of snow, the pack looks into it. If by looking into it one means packing a bunch of garbage bags and huge Tupperware lids into the back of Stiles’ Jeep to go look for a decent sledding hill. Things go sideways, because of course they do.
A Very Sterek Christmas by TobyRosetta | 13.5K
It’s actually snowing in Beacon Hills, and it’s got everyone out of whack. Out of the kindness of his own heart, Stiles decides to take some things up to the the old Hale Mansion for old Sourwolf himself. But when the storm kicks up and snows them both in, the night takes an interesting turn.
Blanketed by got_the_bite | 3.3K
“Stiles, where are you?” Derek demands again. His voice is higher than usual Stiles notes.
“You would be such a nice tenor if you joined a choir,” Stiles thinks aloud.
But In Case I Stand One Little Chance by mikkimouse | 8.6K
Stiles’s Jeep breaks down in the middle of the snowstorm. He’s rescued by his high school crush, and as the cherry on top, is trapped in a cabin with said crush until the roads clear.
Fuck his life.
Snow Flirting by thepsychicclam | 11,396
As Beacon Hills get pounded with foot after foot of snow, single dad Stiles can't quite keep up with his four year old, his job, and shoveling his driveway. Derek makes his teenage son shovel Stiles' walk, and that just leads to Derek helping Stiles out with a whole bunch of other tasks. That's okay with Derek, though, cause any chance to be with Stiles is okay with him.
Baby, It's Cold Outside by Jebiwonkenobi | 2,791
Beacon Hills has a snow storm. Totally-not-cuddling happens.
Come Fly With Me (Or Don't) by stilinskisparkles | 15,325
Stiles is overworked and stressed out when his flight home gets delayed due to copious amounts of snow. He finds entertainment with one Derek Hale, whom he hasn't seen since high school but really doesn't mind getting reacquainted with.
Especially when it turns out Derek is surprisingly hilarious and will reluctantly play snap with him. And can walk on his hands.
The Man in the Snow by mikkimouse | 15,894
Derek finds a young man injured in a ravine on the border of his ranch. That's strange enough, but the mystery only deepens when the young man wakes up without any memory of what he was doing out there.
Blizzard Boyfriend by literaryoblivion | 1,897
With a record-breaking snowstorm on the horizon, threatening a city shutdown for a few days, Stiles gets the bright idea to put an ad up on craigslist for someone to spend his snow days with that would be filled with cuddling, movies, alcohol, and potential makeouts or more.
It's a joke until someone responds.
and home before dark by verity | 3,175
The mystery of the absent Hale brother was hardly a mystery at all until he appeared at last, set on taking up residence out in the woods.
(In which Derek is a hedgewitch. With a cat.)
Let it snow! Let it snow! (but please let it stop eventually) by relenafanel | 19,123
Stiles grew up with his bedroom window overlooking Derek's bedroom, so when he returns home for the holidays he's surprised to find a stranger in his nerdy neighbour's bedroom.
Only, he's not much of a stranger.
It is Derek Hale, the guy who is going to be his new step brother, if the rumours are true.
Red Against the Snow by Ember | 34,219
Stiles is trapped for the holidays in the cabin of a strange man/hermit named Derek. A strangely friendly wolf befriends Stiles during his stay. It's up to the teenager to find out why Derek has secluded himself from society, what the feelings he's beginning to have means, and what the connection between the mysterious man and the mysterious black wolf is.
an exaltation of larks by llassah | 25,370
All Derek wants is to get through the lambing season with his body and spirit intact. He had thought that the blizzards would be the main danger, not a highborn omega with beautiful eyes and a stubborn streak.
The flamingo in the yard by Vendelin | 6,107
It isn't fair that Stiles needs to work Christmas, when his dad is on the other side of the country. Or that his really hot, next door neighbour is around for the holidays as well. Or that there's a power outage that makes things even worse. Or better.
(Fake) Winter Weather Brings Us Together by tylerfucklin (zimothy) | 10,535
So naked cuddling with Derek while suffering from hypothermia wasn't really on Stiles' to-do list for the week, but neither was that kiss--so who was Stiles to complain?
It's a Wild Pitch (But He's a Contact Hitter) by jettiebettie | 11,828
They're combating supernatural forces with blunt instruments now. Seems legit. As long as Stiles doesn't end up getting frostbite, he's willing to roll with it. Not that his friends have to worry about that. Fucking werewolves.
Abominable by Revenant | 20,277
Where Derek buys a secluded cabin halfway up a mountain, meets a yeti and falls in love with Stiles, but not necessarily in that order.
stilinski v. a. snowman | tumblr ficlet
This fic was inspired by this prompt: ‘we’re stuck in a log cabin overnight during a snowstorm bc of some stupid school team building exercise and it’s freEzing and I can’t sleep and you can hear me shivering in the next bed so you pick me up and dump in your bed and good grief you are hot in every sense of the word’ au
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i filled out this super cool button character profile by @extraordinarymage for sabrina! thank you for making this, it was a lot of fun to fill out <3 the bulk of it is under a cut and oh boy is it long !!!
Short, Quick Reference
Name: Sabrina Wiseman
Pronouns: She/her
Sexuality: Bisexual
Love Interest: Kent
Main personality trait: Confidence
Secondary personality trait: Morbidity
Relationship with Nick: Full of love, haunted by unaddressed guilt and frustration. But mostly full of love.
Nickname for Nick: Saint Nick (used sparingly)
Resentful or accepting?: Slightly resentful
Main strategy (interpersonal, insightful, innovative?): Insightful
Ethical or expedient?: Expedient
GENERAL
Name: Sabrina Larkspur Wiseman
Nickname(s): Sab, used by anyone; Sabby, only Nick and Sally; and, of course, Button for Nick.
Birthday: I think I made her an October Libra for the purpose of a template I did months ago, but I’m not sure! No concrete birthday yet, I’m always very slow to nail down details like this.
Age: 20
Pronouns: She/her
Sexuality: Bisexual
Hair color + style: Blonde. A little past shoulder length, sometimes wavy. Usually a middle part. For Aeon, tied back in a bun.
Eye color: Blue, entirely because of the section of Frank O’Hara’s “Meditations in an Emergency” that goes, “My eyes are vague blue, like the sky...”
Height: 5′5
Piercings: Multiple in each ear, but a couple have started to close.
Tattoos: None yet! Sab likes the idea of a tattoo but is worried about finding the perfect design, whether she’d end up hating it, that the pain might be greater than she expects and she’ll look like a baby in front of her tattoo artist. I’d like to think she eventually consults Sally and/or Glitch to come up with an idea that she falls in love with, but I haven’t come up with what that would be!
Clothing style: Mostly solid colors, not a lot of patterns. Nothing super bright, but a fairly varied mix of pastels, neutrals, dark colors, black. Partial to denim skirts and sweater tops. Ankle boots. Likes a good turtleneck. She’s bolder when it comes to formal wear, and especially loves suits. Big fan of silk and satin.
Since she has a pretty accurate face claim, I’ll link some gifsets I’ve rb’d for appearance ref if you are so inclined.
STATS
I’m always adjusting minor things and swapping scenes around, but these are from my most recent Sab run! Most scores hover somewhere around these values.
Personality:
Confidence: 53%
Humor: 5%
Morbidity: 22%
Resentful: 57% | Accepting: 43%
Strategy:
Interpersonal: 12%
Insightful: 50%
Innovative: 10%
Ethical: 43% | Expedient: 57%
KEY DECISIONS:
What is Nick’s nickname and why?: Saint Nick, used very rarely. It’s a joking reference to the time she thought Santa was an evil Ment out to ruin Christmas, and a point about Nick overdoing it with the cheer. “Saint Nick” is usually code for “I know you mean well, but please mind your own business.” Otherwise, she just calls him Nick.
What is their favorite type of cookie (and its name and why?): Salted caramel chocolate chip! No special name.
What was their initial reaction to Sally hugging them, as kids?: She just froze. That could just be me projecting adult Sabrina onto her childhood self; I don’t imagine that she was as uncomfortable around strangers or quite as cautious back then. But that’s what I’ll stick with.
How did they ace the ASE test?: The in-game option she takes is “My entire life has revolved around strategic avoidance,” but the one about being just plain smart also sounds like her. If Sab has the chance to thoroughly (over)prepare for something, she will do it. Her mind blindness also has her constantly (over)analyzing situations. So, hard work and relentless anxiety!
Did they manage to win their first assignment? How?: Yes, by having Sally block the door. I’ve headcanoned some slight differences in how it plays out, which I wrote about in-depth here. To summarize, Sab thinks of blocking the door as a desperate last resort, not a clever loophole, and she pushes back against Rosy’s praise because she wishes she could have done it the “real” way. Rosy goes from being impressed to being annoyed that she’s willfully missing the point.
What was the primary emotion Button felt during the Aeon bombing (love, gratitude, etc?): Guilt. She feels very guilty about how much Nick has given up for her in general, but I think that in the moment, it’s on a smaller scale. The fact that Nick was on the phone with her when it happened, coming to her rescue like always, becomes emblematic of their whole relationship for her, and she really fixates on that.
Who drove them home from the hospital from and why?: Glitch. Sab responds to her initial text with “Are you sure?”, and is relieved when Glitch takes that as “Yes, please.” She doesn’t relish the idea of being around someone more connected to her family or Nick at that point.
How do they feel about Nick riding around in their mind?: Worried, at first. Just because it’s so unknown and absolutely insane. After seeing Doctor Amari, she’s excited! Sab is thrilled to be a Pollard Five and intends to take full advantage of it. I am not looking forward to seeing how she reacts when that’s taken away from her.
Why did Button agree to do the undercover mission?: To prove she still deserves to be an MIV. Sabrina feels stupid and reckless for putting herself, Nick, and Aeon in this position, but she knows she’s smart, and she hasn’t worked this hard for nothing. She wants to prove what she could do with a normal Pollard Score and make herself too valuable to give up even when she’s back to Zero.
Told Glitch about your mind blindness?: Depends on the playthrough. I’m constantly going back and forth on whether Sab meets Glitch for coffee or wanders the city with Nick in her second chapter 5 slot (after trying to track down Kent). If she does meet Glitch, though, she absolutely tells her; with how touchy Sab is about privacy, she couldn’t stomach not warning Glitch that Nick could hear everything they said.
Figured out K’s secret?: Nope. She finds enough of the clues to be given the “I knew it!” option in-game, but she didn’t actually put it together. Sab is too angry and embarrassed by learning that Kent is an AMO to find any reason to interrogate it. “The random guy I met before school just happens to be a jerk” is a perfectly sound explanation to her.
Found Noh’s clues?: Not at the metro station. Sometimes she sees the Vengeance brooms in chapter 5 (again, depending on the playthrough), but that’s it.
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP:
Love Interest: Kent
Why them?: Sab feels an immediate kinship with Kent after learning about the NPO program. It’s kind of funny how quickly he moves from the least sympathetic position in her eyes (Ment who got past me and read my mind without my knowledge) to the most sympathetic (non-powered child of a prominent family aiming a league above where he “belongs”). A lot of new respect for his competence. Her fate is sealed when she realizes that his kindness at the hospital wasn’t him trying to make up for some wrongdoing, but just him being very sweet. (She had scoffed over “You needed help.” But now she’s like, “Oh. He meant that?! Fuck.”)
As they spend more time together, Sab realizes how weirdly similar they are in other ways, too. And she starts to feel safe/secure around him in a way that she’s extremely not used to. Growing up surrounded by Ments, Sab has a lot of issues about being too much, too difficult, needing to “be worthy” of love. So someone like Kent who is not a Ment, who has no “obligation” to care about her, and whose judgement she trusts implicitly? Being around him and being loved by him mean a lot, and I think will go a long way towards helping her reflect on her other relationships!
What are their first impressions of each other?: Okay, there are like 3 first impressions with Kent. First: he’s tall and handsome and secretly adorable, and they have similar career goals, so she’s drafting a five-month plan to woo him and get his number. Second: he’s a lying, self-obsessed loser who owes her many explanations. Third: oh no, the first impression was true! And he’s been continually, selflessly kind to her in spite of her overt hostility. Scratch the five-month plan, because the crush was only fun when it was entirely superficial; now she really, really likes him and that just sucks.
We know that Button makes a good impression on K by stopping for their dogs, but apart from that... I mean, the “we confused each other” from chapter 7 is very apt. Sab has lots of shifting personas, and Kent sees pretty much every one within 24 hours. The prevailing impression before everything gets cleared up is probably just that she cares a lot? About everything? Her stopping for the dogs, how seriously she takes the first assignment, the way she seems so deeply affected by something he said or did that morning. It’s a rare side of her to meet first because she usually pretends to be above everything.
What feature does your Button find most attractive in their RO (ex. appearance, personality, etc.)?: Probably his composure. And his... steadfastness? The way he seems unruffled by anything, his soothing presence. She really admires that about him and finds the calm contagious.
What do they do to spend time together?: Going on drives together! Kent driving while Sab plays songs she thinks he’ll like, talking or not talking. Cuddling on the couch while reading their own separate books. Museum dates. Walking the dogs together.
Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: I imagine that the first month or so of their relationship would be difficult, just because they’re both bad at expressing themselves and not used to relying on other people. Kent kind of negates a lot of Sab’s impulses to get defensive or hostile, so instead of arguments, I think there are more likely to be awkward periods where she’s just stewing in something without addressing it. Most of their fights would be, like, one of them becoming really distant for a concerning number of days until the other tries to awkwardly check in on them.
What does their future look like?: Uhh some random lore: I think eventually they do get married, despite neither of them caring that much about it. Sabrina would be excited to have something to plan, and she knows it would make the people around her happy. They have a long engagement; there’s never really an “official” proposal, just an acknowledgement that yeah, they’ll get married one day, and then eventually they get rings. The engagement is almost Sab’s favorite part, honestly. She likes planning and showing off her ring and calling Kent her fiancé, a lot of fanfare on her part for a wedding that ends up being very modest and chill.
OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)
Relationship with Nick: When I first started developing Sab, I thought that with as difficult/prickly as she can be, her relationship with Nick would be worse than it is. Never bad, but certainly strained, with more jealousy/resentment on her side. However, she rejected this. She is resentful, but never towards Nick—she internalizes the negative parts of their relationship so they manifest as guilt instead. And that’s the problem, not resentment. Sab thinks he’s overprotective, but that doesn’t make her angry; it just makes her sad. She wishes things were different and he didn’t feel so responsible for her, but she also doesn’t know how she could manage without him taking on so many of her burdens. So, guilt! So much love, but always looming guilt.
Having Nick in her head has helped. It’s added a new kind of guilt (“I’m a horrible person for being so giddy that people can’t hear my thoughts even though that requires my brother to be in a coma”), but getting inside Nick’s head for once and really feeling his love for her changes things. Makes her feel way more secure, I guess? It’s easier to see her brother as human person, a friend who loves her, rather than a perfect selfless paragon who sacrificed everything to raise her, which is an important shift.
There are also Things happening with self-presentation in the fact that they’re both models, and flirts, and pretend to be shallow. And the ways that they’ve responded to vastly different expectations. And selflessness versus selfishness. But I have no idea how to talk about that yet.
Relationship with Father: Strained and distant. Sabrina doesn’t necessarily blame him for leaving, but she hates how he’s handled it. She’s incredibly frustrated that John insists on keeping them in this miserable limbo of uncomfortable visits, even though moving away was (to her) a tacit acknowledgement that she and her parents are better off without each other. He’s trying to force a relationship that Sab thinks is ultimately harmful for everyone involved. For Nick’s sake, she’s willing to grin and bear the visits, but it never works because John can obviously tell it’s an act. He pushes her, she gets defensive, and so on to infinity.
Relationship with Mother: Like with John, Sab doesn’t resent Hope for the incident itself, or for leaving afterward. It was terrifying, and the idea of being around Hope makes her panic—but she thinks of that as just another irrational anxiety symptom, and she’s trying to work through it. What she does resent Hope for is letting it get to that point at all. Sab is incredibly bitter that Hope will suffer silently to the point of almost killing her (during the incident) and potentially herself (with the BRS), while Sab has no choice but to be completely open. Especially because they’re so similar in that way—she’s almost jealous. “Oh, so your silence is allowed to almost kill me and it’s ‘nobody’s fault’ but I can’t pretend to enjoy a single lunch with Dad without him calling me out for lying?”
And even though she doesn’t hold the incident itself against her, Sab is very hung up on “Why are you never quiet? Why are you always there?” She knows, on some level, that this was not a Personal Judgement against her. But because Hope keeps so much quiet, this is the only honest expression of her mother’s feelings that she can remember! It would take a lot for Sab to believe that Hope was really, genuinely interested in reconnecting with her, rather than just pretending to love her "enough” this time because to do otherwise would reflect poorly on Hope as a mother.
Relationship with Sally: Besties <3 Sally is the only member of the Wiseman inner circle that Sab doesn’t have complicated feelings about. They both have hidden morbid streaks that they bring out in each other, and can laugh about. They both have competitive streaks that work well together because they’re always on the same team. And their wants/needs from the relationship complement each other well, I think. Sally has always felt valued because she’s useful and not because she’s loved, while Sab has always felt smothered by love/care without feeling like she genuinely adds value to other people’s lives. So it means a lot to both of them that they’re able to help each other practically, while also genuinely loving and supporting each other outside of that.
Relationship with Gray: Full of trust and genuine care, but predicated on distance. Sab loves him a lot for being so careful not to cross any boundaries, physical or emotional, with her. She’s grateful that he’s there for Nick in a way that she doesn’t feel she can be. But "I like Gray because he doesn’t push me and is good to Nick” means that any hand he extend makes her defensive, because she’ll either view him as an emissary of Nick or start to panic because their normal routine is being disrupted (she doesn’t tell him about Hope in ch 3, for example).
They get along very well in a friend-of-a-friend sort of way, and bond over being cautious counterparts to Nick. Also, Sab never had a crush on Gray, but she is not immune to tall superhero and thinks it’s fun to fake flirt with him. (You know Isabela’s “You have pretty eyes” routine from DA2? Sab does that to Gray when conversations steer towards things she’d rather not talk about.)
Relationship with Glitch: I’m really excited about these two! They click from the start, and Sabrina feels immediately comfortable around Glitch, which makes her feel distinctly uncomfortable whenever she catches herself. Externally, they have pretty different personalities, but they’re both perceptive and... socially manipulative? aware of their self-presentation?... in ways that they both pick up on right away. So it’s a lot of conversational maneuvering and trying to figure out what the other’s game is, while also genuinely enjoying each other’s company.
Relationship with Kent/Kenna: I could go truly insane here. See the romance section above instead.
Relationship with Kim: Sab wants him to like her sooooo bad. He’s one of the only people to ever really get through to her, re: my headcanon conversation after the first assignment. Authority figures tend to treat her as special, whether that’s negatively because of her mind blindness or positively because she’s such an overachiever. She had no idea how to respond to that not being the case (and didn’t handle it well at first), but chapter 6 solidifies her respect for him.
It also turns Rosy’s opinion of Sab around; he was impressed by her in class but left his office thinking she was self-absorbed and naive. But the bombing is a reality check, and her response is very measured and practical in a way that surprises him.
Relationship with Lev: She doesn’t mind the comparisons to Nick or the “maybe one day they’ll fix you” comments as much as you might think. They aren’t her favorite, but she prefers that sort of thing to the inspirational platitudes belied by coddling that she got from her family growing up. Sab has fond memories of Lev and is grateful that he’s always been kind to her, but doesn’t have any particular feelings apart from that.
Relationship with Clarence: Holds a grudge against him for causing a scene, making her late, and generally being a jerk. But she can’t fault him for being right, after what happened! Mostly she just wants to avoid him, but she’ll be thrilled to lord her success over him if/when she proves herself.
Relationship with Dean Branham: Like Rosy, another authority figure that Sab desperately wants to impress. But without the personal investment she has in Rosy’s validation, more “Oh, this person is in charge, so I should make her like me!” Despite Nick’s and Rosy’s reservations, Sabrina doesn’t really have a problem with being “strongarmed” or manipulated into cooperating; for now, she figures Branham was just doing her job and respects her tactics.
Relationship/attitude towards Ments in general: Mostly just uncomfortable and wary around them. Sab doesn’t want her mind read, and she figures that no Ment wants to be forced to read it either. So she has a pretty strict “no Ments” rule for close personal relationships (excluding Nick, Sally, and Gray, of course. But only Nick really counts because he’s the only one who can hear her thoughts whenever she’s nearby). Not out of hatred or resentment, just because she knows it will be easier for everyone in the long run.
Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): Not many, but yes! Sab dated around a lot in the 2 years before Aeon (more like year and a half, because she completely shut it down once she was more focused on preparing for the MIV program), but there are 2 relationships that were formative/important for her. A high school sweetheart, and someone Sab met through modeling. She doesn’t keep up with her high school ex, but the model is her best friend outside of Sally and Nick, and they still keep in touch! I’m still developing them/the relationships, and I’ll probably post more about them someday. They’re fun!
PERSONAL BIO
Describe their personality: Confusing and contradictory. She has two main modes that confuse people who meet both (e.g., Kent). She’s either cold, stuck-up, and sometimes hostile, OR she’s charming, frivolous, and sometimes flirty. Mode 1 is tense but stoic and inexpressive; mode 2 is seemingly relaxed but very posed and insincere. Mode 1 is for when she feels uncertain or has no agenda apart from “get to point B”; mode 2 is for when she’s more comfortable or trying to manipulate someone. Her actual personality is a bit closer to the second, but she doesn’t pretend not take things seriously or hide when she’s annoyed.
Strengths: Analytical, methodical, detail-oriented. Very driven and hardworking. May not always act like it, but does have social skills/charisma; a great liar, if you can’t read her mind. Unfailingly loyal and loving to her favorite people, so so so warm and affectionate and supportive if she really loves you. Very perceptive.
Weaknesses: Way too proud. Can be petty and vindictive. Self-absorbed (she doesn’t mean anything by it, but it’s hard for her to see past herself sometimes). Stubborn, hates being wrong. And... emotional isn’t the word, but strong negative emotions can really cloud her judgement. It ties into her being proud, petty, and stubborn; if she’s really upset about something, she can cling to that emotion instead of re-evaluating it or moving forward.
Phobias: From this ask about the phobias that are planned to show up in-game, there are a few that I could see fitting Sab, but I want to wait to see how they’re implemented before I fully commit. Which is very metagame-y, I know (and I am very metagame-y about IF), but “fear of X” is so broad that it really does depend on when/how it manifests in the text.
That being said, agoraphobia is almost a lock; crowds do make Sab very anxious if she can’t keep track of everyone within a certain distance, and if she can’t leave when she starts feeling antsy. Claustrophobia is a maybe. The choice that triggers it (in chapter 4, about hating MRI machines) suits Sab, but I’m not sure if she hates MRI machines because she hates tight spaces, or if it’s more related to her general anxiety about hospitals, medical tests, etc. Which she definitely has!
What activities/club did they do in school?: She avoided anything group-oriented as far as possible. She took piano (maybe violin?) lessons and did recitals, but wasn’t in orchestra. The one exception was maybe National Honor Society or some equivalent, which she would have joined for her resume’s sake. And I think she would have tutored!
Where do they escape to when they need space?: A little used library corner, where she can people watch without being seen/heard.
How do they feel about/cope with their mind blindness?: Sab hates it but tries not to dwell on it. She knows that it’s no one’s fault, and she mainly just tries to... minimize it? Drown out her thoughts, limit her contact with Ments. And, least healthily, very rigidly managing herself. Because there’s so much of her that exists outside of herself, without her control, she tries to either filter or completely suppress everything else. Part of why she got into modeling, she can perform and be perfect and have total control over the final product of her body in the photographs for whatever campaign. Some Day This Will Be Better. But definitely not where she is in current canon.
How has your Button changed since the Incident with Hope?: Developed many new anxieties and disorders and syndromes :) She also became way more self-conscious, as in literally conscious of and way more tightly monitoring herself, what she’s thinking, what she’s expressing, how she’s sitting, etc. Less emotive face, more rigid posture.
If they weren’t an Aeon student, what would they be doing?: Sab would have beaten herself up forever if she “proved everyone right” by avoiding Unity/Ments entirely, so she’d want to stay in the family business somehow. She probably would have ended up doing scientific research on mental agility. Maybe even working for Mirrortech or some other biotech company, which I imagine would have been an interesting conversation to have with the family.
RANDOM FACTS:
Zodiac sign: Like I said, I assigned her Libra months ago for the sake of a template. But I don’t know enough about astrology to commit. Libra or Leo, probably.
Hobbies: Music, reading poetry, “cooking” (i.e., sitting on the counter and not helping while Nick makes dinner)
Likes: Watching other people (Nick) play video games, dressing up, taking long showers/baths, dark chocolate with caramel, back hugs
Dislikes: Being patronized, hot weather, going to the doctor, driving, doing anything she is not good at
Type of bedsheets: Bamboo.
Drink of choice: Cucumber mint lemonade! For hot drinks, some kind of caramel coffee. For alcohol, she refuses to get drunk because she’s terrified of having even less control of her mental broadcast, but at home/around people she trusts she’ll have a glass or two of wine. Doesn’t know enough to be picky, but doesn’t like it too sweet.
Favorite food: Probably some pasta dish Nick makes with asparagus and tomatoes and a lot of garlic.
Favorite color: Like a light turquoise!
Favorite music: Music to her was another mind-shielding tactic before anything else, so she tends to like upbeat-ish electronic/pop stuff. Catchy and repetitive, and/or with lots of personality to drown out her own thoughts. On the other end of the spectrum, she does have a soft spot for crackly, lo-fi, old or old-sounding slow songs—something about fuzzy recordings simulating a weak telepathic signal.
Favorite season: Hmm, spring and autumn are both good. She likes either side of winter.
Anything else you’d like to share: My heart and a long, fulfilling marriage, with anyone who reads all this 💍
#wow this is so long. insanity luv lit ral insanity#this was super helpful for articulating certain things about sab's character so it's already done its job#pls do not feel pressured to read Thousands of words about sabrina my beloved. but if you read all or even some of this <333 a kiss for you#why am i embarrassed to overshare about my own ocs on my own blog. i live here#oc: sabrina wiseman#also this was very much a stream of consciousness deal but i tried to go back and make it comprehensible. good luck all ye who enter here
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Christmas with a stranger
This is my submission for 'gift of cheer' by @cordonianroyalty and @texaskitten30. This is the fluff one shot requested by @anjanettaexcordonia.
Characters belong to pixelberry
Pairings:LiamxRiley
A/N: this is the first fic I have ever written, so i apologize for any mistakes. Criticism is openly accepted, negative or otherwise. Feel free to say anything!
Tags: @texaskitten30 @cordonianroyalty
@kat-tia801 @eadanga @xxrainbow-princessxx @knightthunderis @kingliam2019 @anjanettexcordonia @stuti-singh @queenrileyrose @bbrandy2002 @twinkleallnight @bebepac @ladyrileyrussel @hopelessromanticsposts @dcbbw
Summary: Two strangers spend Christmas day with which each other, which changes the rest of their lives.....
Song inspiration: All I want for Christmas is you
Word count:2683
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
Don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas Day
I just want you for my own
It was the morning of Christmas, and Riley was overly excited. She always waited for this time of the year, especially Christmas. Nothing is more enjoyable than sipping cider in the presence of her beloved and enjoying the Christmas meal, she always thoughts. Orphaned at 4 ,she didn't had a blood family to celebrate with , but was blessed with a great deal of foster family and friends. Every year, during Christmas, as a sort of tribute, she spends the entire day celebrating with the children of her previous foster care. Watching those kids playing merrily reminded her of her own good days in the past.
She quickly ate her breakfast and made her way out of her NY apartment, whistling and softly humming to the tune of All I want for Christmas is you, her favorite song.
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
Baby....
She was so engrossed in her little singing gig that she barely registered the stranger coming towards her, and crashed right into his broad chest, spilling her reticule's content on the sidewalk.
"Oof"she yelped, rubbing her forhead.
"Oh! I'm so sorry! Let me help with those! " the stranger apologized.
Riley and the stranger kneeled down at the same moment to collect her scattered belonging, and for the first time the two glanced into each others eyes. Ocean blue eyes locking onto dark ones. Damn... Those eyes.. Riley swallowed.
"Ahem" she softy cleared her thought, quickly collected her belongings, and stood up.
"Sorry for that. Should've watched my steps. " then she quickly disappeared into the crowd, not noticing the stranger eyes on her from behind.
Riley finally arrived at the foster care. Loving hearts. A bit strange name, but filling her chest with warmth nonetheless. She rummaged through her reticule for her Digital key card, but it was not there.
"Uh...?"she muttered. "Where the hell is my keycard? "
After a few moment of searching she gave up. "Im not going to get in there without my key card...."
"Excuse me Miss.... But I belive this is yours. " a voice behind her startled her.
Riley turned around and found herself staring at the pair of those same dark eyes she encountered earlier. I'd recognise those eyes anywhere, even though I had stared at his eyes for less than 5 seconds. The (cute) guy i bumped with!
"Ahem" the stranger let out a exaggerated cough and riley realised that she has been staring at his face for a solid 10 seconds.
"Right.. Ahem... Sorry... I mean... Thank you for returning this. You totally saved my ass--, i mean my...my...job". Way to make a fool of yourself Riley.
The stranger laughed quitly. "Well then I am glad I could save your job. But I should get going."
Just as he turned, a little voice in the back of her head called out to her, and instinctively she reached out and grabbed his sleeve.
"Er... Sir... I know this is extremly forward of me... But if you would be kind enough to spend the day with volunteering at the orphanage I work at? We are kinda short-staffed tonight, and there aren't much volunteers. Those children at the orphanage will be quite happy to see a new face. You could spend the with them. And me. If you are free, that is?
Crap. Crap. Crap. This i really asked a random hot stranger to volunteer?! Snap the hell out of it Riley!
Plz say yes. Plz say yes. The little voice inside her screamed.
To her surprise, he gave her a smile. "Id be happy to. I don't have any special plans for today. Btw. "
He smiled, and stuck out her hand to shake hers.
"Liam Rys"
"Riley Brooks". She said she she shook his hand. A familiar electric tinge sparked through her veins as she held his hand. His hand impossibly smooth underneath her. Woah! Are guys even supposed to have this soft hands? I wonder what kind of moisturiser he uses....
"Miss Brooks --"
"Call me Riley. "
"Well ahem, Riley.. it is rather cold outside. What say we make it inside? "
"Oh right."
She quickly swiped her keycard and stepped inside, sighing contentedly as the warm air from the heaters enveloped her. She melted a little inside as she felt Liam's warm body alongside her. Brushing this aside, she focused her attention on the scenario in front of her. Numerous gift boxes piled beneath the Christmas tree... Children merrily running and there... Volunteers mingling with each other and the children... The aroma of the food... And the Christmas songs softly playing in the background. A wide smile played on her lips.
While Riley was busy observing the surroundings, Liam found his sight stuck on the beautiful women he had known for not more than 15 minutes. She was beautiful, in a way that the noble ladies back at home in Cordonia arn't. And seeing her here in here element, smiling widely without giving a damn about public decorum or whatsoever, he found himself attracted to her. And without a second thought, he agreed to volunteer. We'll see how the day goes...
Liam cleared his throat, claiming her attention. "So what needs to be done? "
"As you can see this is a orphanage, so the children here dont have any families to celebrate the holidays with. So each year, myself and many other gather here to celebrate the celebrate with them. Thats what we have to do. Mingle with the children, play with them... And make them feel loved. "
"Sure. I can definately do that. I actually volunteered too at orphanages back home."
"If I may ask, Where are you from?
Liam immediately stiffened at the question. When he asked his father for a quiet getaway before the beginning of the social season, meeting Riley was not on the itinerary. And the fact that he was leaving Tommorow didnt helped either. The last thing he wanted to do was to lie with her, but he wasn't going to destroy these good moments he had with her by revealing that he was the crown prince of cordonia.
"I'm actually from one of the small islands surrounding Greece. "
Before she could open her mouth to ask more, Liam immediately turned away to play with one of the children.
The day went on quite peacefully and quite enjoyable for Liam. Holidays back home were anything besides spending with families. It was all about press conferences and photo ops and disguised motives hidden away in gifts. But here I was a lot more different, the sight of children playfully jostling each other without giving a damn made him smile, as that was the part of childhood he missed.
He suddenly felt a small hand on his shoulder and his pulse quickened at the feel of skin over his clothes. Behind her was Riley, holding a eggnog mug in her hands.
"Not to ruin your volunteering gig, but I got you something. "She said as she handed him the mug. Their fingers brushed, and lingered for just a moment longer.
"Ahem. Thank you. " Liam blushed, his ears turning pink.
Riley chucked softly at his antics. He is already so cute, and looks extra cute while he blushes.
Night came quickly. After winding up all the activities for the day including the gift exchanging and christmas dinner, all the children were put to bed and the volunteers were bidding their goodbyes. Only the foster care staff plus liam was left behind.
Riley glanced around. All the staff were mingling on the rooftop, with only her and Liam left in the main hall.
"Hey.... " she softly asked Liam, who was lounging in a chair beside her.
"Yeah? "
"Will you accompany me for a little walk around the times square? I just wanna clear my head a bit. " And hopefully spend some time with you...
He smiled. "Sure! Just let me get my coats. "
The pair walker out of the building and into the cold, brisk night. Celebrations were in full swing outside. Its called the city who never sleeps for Nothing.
Outside was really cold, and with the softly falling snow Riley barely suppressed the shiver that ran up het spine. Suddenly she felt strong arms around her shoulders and a moment later a coat was wrapped around them.
"I would be a terrible gentleman if a let a beautiful lady like you freeze to death. "
"Beautiful, huh? " she teased.
He blushed. That blush.
They both arrived at the square, staring at the enormous Christmas tree situated in the very middle. The glow of the lights and mini bulbs bathing them both in a gentle bluish light.
"Its really beautiful, isnt it? Riley asked. Just as she turned her head towards him liam's eyes quickly found their ways towards the decoration. Was he really admiring me than the beautiful decoration in front of him? Was it possible that he was feeling the same fluttering in his heart that she felt whenever they interacted? No, it can't be. I am reading onto this too much. We are strangers. Strangers.
"Indeed it is. " Liam quitly whispered, hiding the blush in his cheeks. Crap, she caught him staring at her. I hope she doesnt think i am creep or something. To Liam even the most beautiful decorations paled in front of her, she was more beautiful than any sights he had laid his eyes on. Don't get too attached, Liam. Its temporary. You are going to leave tomorrow. There can nothing be between you and her. You have a duty back home. This is just a little escape from reality. They are strangers. Strangers.
Just then the local band striked up a a waltz. All around them peoples paired up, with Riley watching the couples with a hopeful gleam in her eyes... which didnt went unnoticed by Liam. And in that moment, he knew what he had to do.
Liam bowed a little in front of her, and held out his hand, his other arm draped around his back. "May I have this dance? "
She smiled as she put her hand into his, her pulse quickning, "It would be my pleasure. "
She awkwardly bowed, earning a chuckle from Liam as he sweeped her in his arms, her one hand on his shoulder, his on her waist, their free hand twined together. They elegantly twirled together on the makeswift dance floor, stepping in time to each rhythm. As they glided together, liam couldnt help but gaze down at her angelic face, illuminated by the surroundings. His gaze strayed to her lips just as Riley glanced at him, they met each other halfway as their lips come together in a magnetic kiss. Time seemed to stopped when his lips met hers, and the flutter in their chest intensified. Riley's finger gently curled in his coat as liam tangled his hands in her soft brown curls. She smelled like jasmine, a scent that liam is all too familiar with. Their hands tighten around each other, almost desperately, refusing to let go, their lips moving against each other in perfect harmony. Liam tightened his arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest, and Riley softly sighed as she breathed in the scent of him.
For that moment it was only the two of them in the entire world, all the surroundings fading into nothing. Their little bubble of heaven was broken as the pair heard the the sound of clapping and soft cheering. Flustered, Liam grasped her hand and led both of them out of the dance floor and into the streets, grinning all the way.
The two of them found themselves at the threshold of a quint restaurant, and they both collapsed onto the stairs, still holding each other while wearing goofy smiles.
"So... That was.... Something else.. " Riley chuckled.
"Indeed it was. " Liam snickered.
As he glanced down at the lady in his arms, Liam felt a sudden tinge of guilt in his chest. I still haven't told her who I am. I have to tell her.
After her laughter had subsided, Liam gently took her shoulders in his hands and looked square in her eyes. "Riley, can I have a word with you? "
"Yeah... What happened? "
"I haven't told you where I am from, or what I am doing alone in a unknown city without my family. The truth is I am the Crown Prince of a small country called Cordonia. "
Riley stared at him, then burst into laughter. "Haha, Liam, nice joke. If you are a crown prince then i'm Kate Middleton." She stopped laughing when she saw the look on his face. "Oh, you are serious?"
Liam nodded. "Of course. I have no reason to lie to you. I just wanted to let you know that....that...." He struggled to move forward. "That i'll be leaving for Cordonia Tommorow morning. My social season will commence once I get back. I have to choose a bride from all the noble ladies presented to me as suitors. "
Her face fell. "You... You are really going back... I just thought we.... " She trailed off.
"I knew Riley, and I am sorry that I didn't told you sooner. I understand if you are mad--"
"Of course im not mad Liam. You did what you thought was the best. You just wanted a nice time without wandering about your duties."
"I... I wished we had more time together Riley." He whispered.
"Then lets make the most of it. We just have this night tonight, Liam. And I want to make it count. For just this one night let's just be Riley and Liam, two peoples without any obligations.
Riley pointed to the mistletoe over their head, then leaned forward to capture his lips in a heated kiss. He immediately responded, his hand cupping the side of her neck tenderly as she ran her hair through his dark hair. They pulled apart, staring into each others eyes, then their lips came together again, more passionately this time.
"Merry Christmas, Riley."
"Merry Christmas, Liam."
The night was spend together in Liam's suite, tangled in the sheets and in each other's arms.
************
The next morning
Liam woke up in his room.... Alone. He glanced around, none of Riley's belongings were in sight. A single note was on the coffee table beside the bed.
Liam,
I want you to know that the short time I have spend with you more to me than I could describe. You gave me the one thing I wanted most for Christmas...Family. I'm grateful for that. I'm sorry that I had to convey this to you by a letter, but i thought it would be better for both of us. Perhaps we will meet again.
Riley
Liam reached and wiped the lone tear that has escaped on his cheek. "I'm grateful for our time together too, Riley.
**********
Cordonia
It was the evening of the masquerade ball in the palace. Liam was dressed in his usual black regalia with a matching ornate mask. No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts managed to make their way back to Riley. Be a good prince, Liam. She's gone.
Liam stood in the huge elegant ballroom, a queue of noble ladies in front of him. Each lady he encountered, whether it was the poodle loving lady Penelope, the diplomat's daughter Kiara, or his best friend Olivia, made him realize that none of them were her.
The next lady approached, who was adorned in a white angel costume, with a literal halo above her head, her blue eyes peeking out of the glittering mask. Why are those eyes familiar...
"Hello..." Liam greeted her politely. "I don't believe we have met... Have we?"
The women smiled, then reached behind the back of her head to loosen the mask strings, Liam caught a glimpse of a familiar face as she removed her mask.
"Riley..."
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The Most Wonderful Time of The Year
(In which Cathy struggles with Christmas. Or, in which I project all of my feelings about Christmas onto various queens.)
***
9.00am, Christmas Eve.
Cathy rolled onto her side and pulled the duvet up over her head. Maybe if she just lay really still, they’d forget her and-
“Merry Almost-Christmas Cathy!”
Damn.
She mumbled something that could be construed as a vaguely cheerful greeting and buried her head in her pillow.
Christmas Eve morning, and she was already wishing it was over.
She hadn’t hated Christmas in her first life- in fact, she’d rather enjoyed the break in routine. Some of the traditions- the yule log, watching the mummers, the wassail cup- reminded her pleasantly of childhood and other, more court based traditions- the boars head, the bear baiting, the elaborate feasting and revelry- were, if not always fun, a welcome distraction.
The prospect of experiencing Christmas in the 21st century though felt somehow less of a pleasure and more of a cruel reminder of happier times past, and, increasingly, like an obligation, a test which she was sure to fail.
(“Looking forward to Christmas? Only a week to go!”)
Had it always been like this? It was harder to remember, but she was sure that Christmas in her first life hadn’t been so relentlessly cheery. There had been a holiday mood, of course, there had been a general sense of goodwill and of course the expectation that one would enter into any amusement going….but she was sure that the insidious pressure to exist in a near-constant state of happiness and warmth and merriment was but another cursed 21st century invention.
(“It’s the most wonderful time of the year! It’s...well, it’s just magical!”)
Back in her youth, one was expected to enter into the spirit of things, of course….but the heavy religious element on the holiday had at least added a welcome breath of sobriety to the proceedings, and there was, of course, always the opportunity to takes oneself off to the quietness of the chapel or to ones prayer closet for a moment of peace, with the excuse of being overcome by religious fervour on the holiest of days.
(“Such a happy time- the build up is so exciting!”)
Now though… She was sure it wasn’t intentional, but she’d definitely got the impression that wanting, let alone needing a break from the festivities marked one out as a decidedly unpleasant and miserly person.
(“How can you not be excited? It’s Christmas! Don’t be such a grinch!”)
“Cathy? Are you awake?”
Cathay fought the urge to pretend to still be sleeping. She wished she hadn’t answered Anna.
“I’ll be down in a minute Jane!”
She looked at her watch. Just another 48 hours to go.
*
Downstairs, Cathy slipped into her usual place and reached for the coffee.
What’s even wrong? Nothing. Nothing is wrong. You’re fine Cathy. You have no reason to feel like this. Nothing is wrong at all. You have no reason to feel sick and like you can’t breathe. None at all.
Catalina passed behind her with a plate of toast, pausing to drop a kiss on the top of her head.
“Good morning mija.”
“Now that you’re down-” Jane started, “I thought we could discuss what we wanted to have for Christmas breakfast.”
Anne raised an eyebrow. “It’s Christmas dinner that’s the special meal Jane. Turkey, remember?”
Jane huffed a little. “Yes I KNOW, BUT it’s apparently a Thing to have a special breakfast too. Belinda in the sound crew told me- she and her family have croissants. What should we have?”
“Waffles!” said Kitty, at the exact same moment that Anna cried “Eierkuchen!”
Across the table, Anne’s slightly anxious eyes met Cathy’s.
“What’s wrong with what we usually have for breakfast?” Cathy asked tentatively. She did her best to make the question sound light, innocuous.
You’re not being a funsponge, you’re just curious.
Jane shook her head. “It’s meant to be special, she said.”
“Yeah,” added Kitty. “Everyday stuff isn’t special. And even if no one else wants waffles, I’m still making them,” she added, a touch defiantly, as she took another bite of cereal.
“I suppose not….”
She didn’t want to make a fuss.
She also didn’t know if it was possible to find a way to explain that she wasn’t thrilled at the idea of having to have a different breakfast, without sounding impossibly dull.
She and Anne had already had more than one whispered conversation about how neither of them was really looking forward to the planned ‘modern’ Christmas dinner.
(“I’ve had turkey….it’s sort of like chicken. Sort of...drier and not as nice tasting…” “And Christmas pudding looks….odd. The texture-”)
They’d agreed to stick it out for the sake of the other queens, to make sure they ate breakfast and then to just eat what they could of the Christmas dinner. Not that Cathy was holding out much hope for that- she knew Anne seldom could face the idea of food when she was under stress and Christmas certainly counted as ‘a stressful time’.
“It’s all the focus on children-” She’d explained. “All the focus on Christmas being for the children, whatever that means. I can’t not think about Elizabeth and….well, all of that-”
“Plus the lights-” Cathy agreed, and Anne nodded frantically.
“Yes! Those awful lights EVERYWHERE flashing enough to give anyone within five miles a migraine, and those horrible songs being played…”
They’d laughed, then, over the horrible assault on the senses that modern Christmas seemed to be but now Cathy didn’t feel much like laughing.
Since early November, leaving the house had felt like a mild sensory assault, and since Jane and Kitty had put the decorations up in December, this had encroached into her own home.
Anne disliked it too, she knew, but neither felt like they could say anything.
(“After all-” Anne had remarked rather gloomily, “-not liking Christmas lights is definitely meant to be a warning sign…”
“What do you mean?”
“In all the films!” Anne gestured impatiently. “It’s always the boring awful secretly-evil person who hates the Christmas lights and the tree and everything else, and the nice, good person who likes it! And I don’t want to have to be the one who spoils everything and everyone is mildly suspicious of again!”
“I definitely shouldn’t have let you binge watch all those Christmas films with Kitty…”
“I’m right though.” Anne eyed her seriously. “You know I am.”
Cathy had nodded. She knew.)
Catalina had taken note of her goddaughters increased irritability, the worsening of her already poor sleeping pattern and tried to gently probe as to the cause but Cathy had brushed her off. She knew that Christmas could easily be painful to Catalina for exactly the same reason that it troubled Anne, and she’d be damned if she was the one to ruin the Christmas of the person she owed so much too.
(“Are you sure you’re alright mija? You know you can always talk to me.”
She’d flashed a smile and surreptitiously moved away. “I’m fine Catty. Really.”)
And she’d convinced herself that she was fine, that she could be fine, that she could keep on being fine right up to Boxing Day. Now though as the day drew closer, she could feel anxiety gnawing at her stomach every day, from the moment she woke up to the moment she would eventually drift into an uneasy sleep.
There was no denying it- she knew she’d never be able to keep up the level of excitement and jollity obviously required for Christmas day and she was dreading the moment that she spoilt it for the others.
Would they be upset if she couldn’t face the thought of unfamiliar food first thing in the morning? They’d certainly be upset if she didn’t enjoy Christmas dinner- they’d all gone to so much trouble making sure the dinner was perfect.
What if she didn’t look grateful enough for her presents? And she knew that games were meant to be a big part of Christmas day too but not knowing how to play, not knowing what was expected of her, made her anxious even on good days- what if she ruined the fun for the others?
She was dreading it so much, she would have given everything she owned to move past Christmas day and just get straight on with the frustration and irritation on behalf of the other queens that she was sure was coming.
That was, of course, if they didn’t go straight in with anger…
“Cathy?” Kitty’s concerned voice broke through her thoughts. “Are you ok?”
She plastered on another smile. “Fine!”
It wasn’t exactly a lie. She kept on being fine as Kitty and Anna squabbled over whether they’d make pancakes or waffles their Christmas breakfast, as they jockeyed with each other to lay presents under the tree, as they went out for the last bits of Christmas shopping and settled in to watch a festive film.
It was only after they all retired to their respective rooms that Cathy allowed the tension to slowly seep out of her body. She leant for a moment against her closed door and then flopped, fully dressed, onto the duvet.
And when the faint strains of “Wonderful Christmas Time” drifted up to her bedroom window from the street below, the tears that she’d been holding back for nearly two months finally fell.
*
“Cath?”
A faint tapping caught her ears and she froze.
As quietly as she could, she reached for a tissue to dry her face- finding none, she scrubbed her eyes with her sleeve instead.
She could feel Jane wincing as she did.
“Y-yeah?”
She willed her voice not to crack but it did anyway, of course.
Catalina’s voice was buttery-soft. “Are you alright mija?”
Anne’s voice, in a loud whisper, drifted through the crack in the door. “Don’t ask her, why would you ask her, she’ll just say no and- OW, that hurt!”
“Cathy, can we come in please?”
It would have been easier to brush off Catalina’s loving concern or Anne’s blunt request for entry but Kitty always sounded so hopeful that saying no to her somehow felt harder than saying no to the others. She knew she wasn’t the only one- the others had all discussed it, and eventually had come to the conclusion that as it didn’t appear to be in any way deliberate, they couldn’t really ask Kitty to stop, annoyingly inconvenient as it was.
She couldn’t say no, but she didn’t say yes either, so she just snuffled as quietly as possible and hoped they’d go away.
“Cath?”
They didn’t.
She knew she was merely delaying the inevitable but she couldn’t help but try anyway.
“What is it?”
“Can we come in and talk to you please Cath? We’re worried and we want to check that you’re ok.”
She would have hated Anna for her bluntness if she could, but she couldn’t- it was impossible to even mildly dislike Anna, and she’d yet to find anyone able to manage it. It continued to baffle her that Henry had been able to keep it up- Kitty had once asked, in exasperation, if Anna had just been too easygoing and too patient and too kind, and Cathy had had to agree.
“We heard you crying-” Anne chipped in helpfully, “-and- OW, Jane what the fuck is your problem?!”
Even in her slightly tearstained state, Cathy couldn’t help smiling a little.
“You can come in if you want...”
She’d rather hoped that only one would accept the invitation but of course they all piled in anyway, Anne still rubbing her crushed foot and Jane looking a little too innocent.
Catalina immediately came over to the side of the bed and sat down on the edge, as Anne scrambled up on her other side.
“Are you alright mija?”
“Who do I need to kill Cath?”
The two utterly incongruent enquiries from her two favourite people in the world made her laugh, even as her eyes burned with fresh tears. They were so lovely- they were all so lovely-and here she was completely ruining what was meant to be a special day for them.
She shook her head.
“Nothing. I’m fine.” She forced a smile onto her face. “Honestly.”
None of them looked remotely convinced; out of the corner of her eye, she could see Kitty sending urgent telegrams to Anne and Anna biting her lip.
“Love-” Jane came over and sat next to Catalina. Her hand on Cathy’s was very warm. “You know we’d never make you talk unless you were ready, but do you think you could give us a vague idea of what it is? Just-” She glanced at the others, “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to be thinking up all sorts of horrible things otherwise and-”
“It’s nothing, honestly-”
“Mija anything that makes you this upset on Christmas Eve is clearly nothing.”
Cathy knew Catalina meant it kindly but the words cut her deeper than any order to pull herself together would have done. It was Christmas Eve and here she was, making the others worry about her, overshadowing their night with her selfishness-
“It’s ok Cath-” Kitty, closely followed by Anna, climbed up onto the remaining space at the foot of the bed and, after realising that Cathy’s hands were already claimed, gently squeezed her foot. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. Right?”
The others wholehearted murmured agreement just made Cathy feel worse.
“You’re all so nice-” she eventually managed. “You’re so sweet and I’m spoiling everything, and I’m ruining Christmas and-”
There was an immediate chorus of disagreement:
“You’re not ruining anything mija-”
“It’s all ok love-”
“Please don’t cry Cath-”
“Please tell us what’s wrong?”
They all looked so earnest she just couldn’t bear it- she took a breath.
“I’m sorry. Really, honestly, nothing is wrong. I just…” She tried to think of how to phrase it in a way that didn’t make her seem utterly joyless. “I’m just….struggling a bit, I think.”
“With work? Or death-day stuff or-”
She shook her head. “With Christmas.”
Catalina squeezed her hand. “You miss the old traditions mija?”
“Not exactly. Or-” Cathy tilted her head. “Not that much. It’s not really that I’m homesick for anything, I just…” She sighed. “I’m afraid I’m going to ruin it for you all. More than I have already, of course.”
“What do you mean?” Anne looked confused. “How would you ruin it?”
“By not doing it right….or not feeling how I should feel.” Cathy looked around at the women clustered around her. “I’m sorry- I know how much it means to you all. And I promise I’m not trying to be a drag on purpose. I just… I’m scared I’m going to ruin it for you all by being….not happy or not festive or just….not whatever it is you’re meant to be on Christmas. I won’t be enough and-”
“You could never not be enough for us querida!”
Suddenly Cathy was being enveloped in at least three pairs of arms.
“But it’s Christmas!”
Kitty shrugged. “So?”
“But you’re all so excited! I don’t want to spoil it for you!”
“But it’s just a day-”
“It’s not that important-”
“Cathy-” Anna knelt in front of her. “Nothing you do is going to spoil it, ok? We love you, we care about you. If you’re sad on Christmas, we’ll be sad because you’re unhappy. Not because it’ll be ruining the day or whatever.”
“But-”
“Ok how about this?” Anna considered. “What about we all promise to not base the success of Christmas Day on your emotional state- or on anyone else's? Does that help?”
“Hold up-” Kitty raised a hand. “When did we all agree that the rest of us were going to be super happy and festive all day? Is that a thing? Do we have to all-” She waved a hand, “-festive all day? Can we just be normal instead?”
“Yeah-” Anne agreed. She turned to the others. “I just want to put this out there- obviously I don’t want to ruin the day for you all either. But….I’m struggling a bit too.” She ducked her head and tugged a little at a loose thread in Cathy’s bedspread. “So if I do end up being a massive drag, I’m- I’m really sorry-”
“Love!” Jane leant precariously over Cathy’s legs to pull Anne into her arms. “You won’t! It’s ok-”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kitty asked. “If I’d known you were both so worried, I’d have told you not to worry- we all would have.”
“But you were so excited and-”
Kitty blinked at Anne. “I mean yeah? But it’s just a day, it’s not like there’ll never be another one- and even if there wasn’t I’d still care more about you than about some random day of celebration.”
The others nodded.
Catalina shook her head. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realise you were so miserable, if I’d known-”
“It’s not your fault.” Cathy avoided her godmother's eyes. “I didn’t want to….to make you think about Christmas being difficult, I didn’t want to remind you of….”
She trailed off. Catalina looked at her for a long moment, then she shook her head.
“Oh mija. Did you really think that you could keep me from remembering…” She too couldn’t quite bring herself to say it. “I know you’re clever but I think you’ve giving yourself much too much credit there…”
Said out loud, it sounded very foolish to Cathy- she could feel herself blushing. Catalina pulled her close again and she took the opportunity to hide her burning cheeks for a moment against her godmother's cardigan.
“I’m sorry, I just thought….”
“I know. And it was very, very sweet of you. But really mija-” Catalina’s hand smoothed back her hair. “Really, we all have our reasons to find Christmas difficult. And even if we deal with them in different ways, that doesn’t mean anyone would be upset with anyone else because of it. Jane, for example-” Everyone looked at Jane, who blushed slightly under their collective gaze. “Jane’s more into it, you and Anne, not so much and that’s ok, that’s-”
She broke off. Jane was twisting her fingers together anxiously and looking very uncomfortable.
“Jane? Are you ok?”
“I’m sorry!” Jane suddenly burst out, looking anguished. “I didn’t mean to make you all feel so pressured to enjoy it! I just- they all say it’s meant to be the Mum who makes Christmas and I thought that if I didn’t, you’d all be disappointed and upset with me and…. And all along I’ve been making you all feel worse! I’m SO sorry, I-”
Anna slung an arm around Jane’s shoulders and pulled her into a side hug.
“Janey no, don’t feel bad! We’re all really appreciative of what you’ve been doing-”
Cathy and Anne nodded fervently. “It wasn’t YOU Jane, I promise-”
Catalina put her head on one side. “What did you mean by us being upset with you though? You didn’t really think that, did you?”
Jane ducked her head. “Well….yes? Isn’t it meant to be the Mum who sorts stuff out?”
“Jane, we keep telling you-” Anne reached over Cathy to squeeze Jane’s hand. “The Mum Friend label is a joke- you’re 29 for goodness sake! It’s a loving testament to how lovely you are of course. But it’s not an obligation! Of course we’d never expect you to be responsible for Christmas!”
Kitty nodded. “I’m really happy we’re having a proper christmas but I didn’t realise you thought we expected it of you…Did you not want to do any of it really?”
Jane shrugged and blushed. “I….don’t know. I like the tree-”
“You’re welcome” said Anna, a touch smugly.
“-and the presents and it’ll be nice to have a special dinner….but also, it’s sort of a relief? To not to have to worry? I was SO afraid if something went wrong that you’d all be really upset and blame me…”
Catalina sighed.
“It looks like we’ve all suffered from lack of communication…. Can I propose that we maybe seek a...an alternative plan for Christmas day?”
“Hm?”
“An entirely opt-in Christmas.” Catalina explained. “I don’t think we really have to choose between striving for the unobtainable picture perfect day, or completely forgoing it….do we?”
“Yeah,” said Anna. “I’m still looking forward to a nice dinner and stuff. Can’t we just do the bits we want to do, but also just agree that if anyone doesn’t want to join in, that’s ok?”
“Or-” Kitty added, “-if they do, it’s ok to just….be however you’re feeling. No particular emotional expression required.”
Cathy smiled at her gratefully. Then she glanced over at Anne, who met her eyes questioningly. She decided she’d do it- for Anne, she told herself.
“Um- just while we’re on the subject…” She addressed herself to Kitty and Jane. “Would it be ok...I’m only saying it since we’re already talking about it and i don’t want to be really ungrateful or anything but….”
“I think what she’s trying to say is-” Anne cut in, “-would it mess things up too much if we made the special breakfast opt-in too? Just-”
She was cut off before she could even carry on explaining by Jane.
“Of course! Why ever wouldn’t you?”
“Well you said-”
“Oh!” Jane looked guilt stricken. “I did, didn’t I? I swear I never meant-”
“It’s fine!” Cathy cut Jane off before she could spiral too far. “You were suggesting something lovely and it’s appreciated! We know you didn’t mean anything by it, we just want to make sure that we won’t be spoiling anything if we-”
“Of course!” Jane nodded emphatically. “We don’t have to have a different breakfast of course, I was only-’”
Anna held up her hand. “Before we get completely sidetracked in a round of mutual guilt and apologies, why don’t we just agree- there will be special breakfast for those who want it, and anyone who doesn’t fancy it is of course welcome to have whatever they want, or nothing at all. The same for Christmas dinner too.”
Anne shot her a grateful glance and Cathy felt her shoulders sink in relief.
“So” Catalina began. “An opt-in breakfast and dinner. With every day alternatives for those who prefer. And mutual understanding that it can be a hard day for everyone and that constant Christmas cheer isn’t expected or required from anyone.”
“And” Kitty added, “also that the day itself absolutely isn’t the responsibility of any one person and that no one would dream of thinking it was.”
She looked directly at Jane as she said it; Jane nodded and smiled a little sheepishly, and leant in to Anna again.
“Is there anything else?”
“The lights...” Anne sounded hesitant but her voice gained more strength when no one seemed annoyed or impatient. “Could we maybe….turn them off for a bit? Or find a way to make them just be on or off, not flashing?”
Catalina nodded. “Of course.”
“Oh and-” Everyone looked surprised to hear Jane speaking up; Jane herself looked slightly embarrassed. “I know I was the one playing them but...I really hate them.” She cast a pleading look around the room. “Does anyone mind if we stop playing the modern Christmas songs? They’re so irritating. Especially that one about the demon.”
“Which one?” Trust Anne to look interested at that, thought Cathy.
Jane tilted her head. “You know. The one about his impending arrival. About how he watches you all the time-”
“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town?”
“That’s it. Whatever happened to simple carols?”
Catalina nodded. “There was a pleasant simplicity to the old ones. No This is the best day of your life or anything. Just ‘Boar is really delicious, maybe try it with mustard.’ Sensible advice, not this….expectation of jollity.”
“I think they still have that actually-” Kitty broke in. “Except it’s not really tuneful and I don’t think you sing it…”
“Really?”
“I think so. At least, my super noodles said that they were best served with stir fried chicken and sesame oil. But there was only the one verse…”
*
The first Christmas Day that the queens ever celebrated together was, by most standards, an uneventful one.
But no one blinked an eye when Cathy forgoed Anna’s nutella pancakes and Kitty’s strawberry waffles for her usual toast and coffee.
The turkey dinner was, by all accounts, as pretty as the ones on tv. Anne never actually tasted a bite of the turkey itself but praising Jane’s stuffing to the skies more than made up for it.
And Cathy found that when it actually came down to it, it was all a lot less painful than she had imagined: despite her dread, she felt herself genuinely excited about seeing the others open the gifts, and not ambivalent about the beautiful fountain pen, thick fluffy dressing gown, chocolate covered coffee beans (Catalina had shaken her head despairingly at that) and midnight blue boots she’d been given (not to mention a sizeable stack of books from her wishlist).
Even when Kitty suggested playing a game, she found that the casual “Fancy it Cath? No pressure” made all the difference and she’d been able to join in quite happily.
And when, mid afternoon, she felt herself becoming slightly overwhelmed and excused herself, Catalina following her into the hall hadn’t felt anywhere near as uncomfortable as it would have done before.
“Ok mija?”
“Yeah just-” She’d shrugged and waved a hand. “It’s a bit much.”
Catalina, rather than looking disappointed or irritated, had just nodded. “That’s understandable. Do you want some space or shall I keep you company?”
“I don’t want to take you away from the fun-”
“You absolutely wouldn’t be doing that. But please don’t feel pressured either way- if you want some time alone, that’s fine.”
“It’s not that I want to be alone, it’s-”
Catalina looked understanding. “How about we relocate to my room for a bit? We can listen to some more of that podcast you like, if you’re up to it?”
Cathy nodded. Curled up under Catalina’s arm, the podcast murmuring quietly in the background, she felt herself start to decompress. Then, a tap at the door made them both sit up- Jane peeked in.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
A little uncomfortable, Jane hovered by the bed. “Would it be ok if I joined you? I promise I won’t talk. The others are going to play scrabble and-”
“Of course” Cathy knew she would nevern ot appreciate Catalina looking to her to answer first. “Although don’t you want to play?”
Jane shook her head. “You know I-”
“Catalina will make a team with you again if you want-” She glanced to her godmother. “Won’t you? Or I will, if the others will hold the game off another fifteen minutes or so-”
Jane shook her head.
“Not that I don’t love teaming up with either of you- I totally appreciate the offer. I just- got to thinking about things. Thought a quiet room would be nice, you know?”
Catalina nodded understandingly and Jane settled gratefully on her other side. After a moment, Catalina wrapped her free arm around her shoulders and Jane leant into her.
After a while, her phone buzzed and she let out a short laugh.
“Sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t interrupt but, look what Kitty just sent me…”
She passed her phone to Catalina.
On the screen, it read:
Let us know if we get too noisy! Lots of love to all three of you from all three of us <3 <3 <3 Also Janey, I thought you’d appreciate this more carol I found.
Catalina clicked on the link and the three listened to the festive sounding if slightly tinny music emanate from the phone speakers.
“….angels we have heard on high…..tell us to go out and buy….”
“Really sums it up, doesn’t it?” murmured Cathy and Catalina smiled.
“Shall I take back your fountain pen then mija?”
“Oh god no!”
Catalina chuckled and squeezed her hand and Cathy burrowed back into her side, listening to the faint sounds of good natured arguing drift up from below, her godmothers heartbeat and Jane's quiet breathing beside her.
Maybe it wasn’t such an awful day after all.
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My Home -(Frank Zhang xReader)
A/N: I’m doing this for christmas and the beast boy. I made it GN!Reader but if I messed up pls do let me know! -Danny
Words: 1,125
Requests: listed at the end bc they’re a lot
Frank was tense and you had no idea why.
Maybe he was regretting bringing you to his hometown, you’ve been dating for two years now, and he’d insisted that it was time, but maybe he was having second thoughts.
Or maybe he thought you weren’t having fun?
“This place is beautiful, Frank,” You beamed, trying to see if that would make him react.
“I’m glad you like it, I’m just happy is not that cold... Are you hungry? We could go have dinner somewhere...”
He eyed you up anxiously, you saw his arm tense and sink further into the pocket of his coat.
“Frank, is something wrong?” You asked.
“Hmm? Oh!” He blushed, though it could’ve been simply that he was cold. “I– Yeah I’m fine, I’m just asking because we’ve been walking for almost three hours now, so if you want to stop... that’d be okay.”
You looked around and found a tiny coffee shop not so far from where you were standing.
“I’d love to drink some hot chocolate,” You smiled, holding onto his arm and pulling him closer.
Frank smiled down at you, his eyes shinning like the little lights adorning the surrounding houses.
Once in the coffee shop Frank found you a table while you went to the bar and asked for your drinks. You saw a girl around Frank’s age approaching and then she stopped to talk to him. Your stomach shrunk with unease. You weren’t jealous, but that girl seemed to know Frank well enough, and she was really pretty. You looked at your reflection and tilted your head.
Sure, maybe you could be a bit more stylish if you wanted to, but to be honest you were comfortable wearing baggy stuff, things that wouldn’t suffocate you, and maybe you should try and get a new haircut eventually, but you liked the one you had...
You shook your head and grabbed the drinks. This was supposed to be a fun holiday and you weren’t going to ruin it by overthinking silly stuff.
“Hi,” You said politely. “I- uh... I have our drinks...”
The girl turned to look at you and her smiled widened.
“Is this Y/N?” She asked him.
“Yeah,” He smiled back, then looked at you. “Y/N, this is one of my old classmates from school. Her name’s Tania. Tania, this is Y/N.”
“He was just telling me all about you!” She replied with genuine interest. “It’s been years since I last saw him, I’m happy he seems to be doing well,” Tania stared at you appreciatively. “You have to come to our party next saturday! It’s kind of like a middleschool reunion, bet everyone’s dying to meet Frank’s partner.”
“Oh, I...” You looked back at Frank, who was just sitting there, beaming. “I... I guess we can make some time and go?”
“I’ll send you the address tomorrow,” Tania nodded. “I’ll go now, don’t want to ruin the date– It was a real pleasure to meet you, Y/N!”
“Likewise,” You replied shyly. Once she was gone, you sat down in front of Frank. “You never told me you were popular back in your hometown.”
Frank snorted. “I wasn’t, Tania’s an old spellingbee teammate.”
You nodded, taking a slow sip from your chocolate.
“So are we really going to the party?”
Frank hesitated. “I’d like to go, but only if you’re comfortable with it.”
You pondered, you’d like to hear more stories about Frank’s childhood, and a party sounded fun.
“Yeah, I’m fine with it... she was really pretty, you know? Tania.”
“You think so?” Frank asked without much interest, looking for his wallet.
“Yeah... wouldn’t be surprised if you had like... I don’t know, a crush on her when you were a kid, or something...”
He stopped his movements and looked up to you.
“A crush?” Before you could reply, he burst out laughing. “Oh no! She has a terrible attitude! Never one to enjoy teamwork, most of the time I would avoid her at all cost... I mean, I guess that doesn’t mean she’s not attractive, but she was never my type, really.”
You nodded, but Frank suddenly seemed to realize what you were trying to say.
“Y/N,” The young man held your hand, “I mean it. The first time I ever had a crush was when I met you.”
You snorted.
“I’m sorry, but I found that hard to believe. C’mon, I know you and I are good together but you surely must have had a crush on someone else before me! Like, there’s thousands of prettier people!”
“Prettier than you, you mean?”
“Duh,” You shrugged. “It’s okay, I know I don’t exactly dress to impress...”
“Hey, you’re breathtaking,” Frank replied lovingly. “At least for me you are, not that it matters, as long as you’re comfortable with how you look like, that should be enough.”
“I am,” You smiled squeezing his hand. “Thank you for the compliment.”
***
You were back in your room, getting ready for bed after the long day you two had, you were talking about a silly comercial you’d just seen and putting on your pijama pants when suddenly you noticed the room was too quiet.
“Frank?” You asked without turning, still struggling to put on Frank’s shirt with which you usually slept. “Did you fall asleep already?”
When you turned around you let out a short squeal. Frank was right behind you, and he was kneeling down on one knee.
“Y/N,” He started, trembling hands trying to mantain the little box steady. “I was planning to do this on Christmas morning, but today I realized that’s a bit cheesy and unoriginal, and if there’s someone who deserves to have a nice proposal, that’s you– But uh, well I didn’t have anything planned, I’m sorry.”
You laughed, fighting against the tears that were threatening to blurry your vision.
“I still hope you like this, though,” He smiled, his eyes starting to tear up as well. “When I’m with you I feel at home, and I know you feel the same. Life is really uncertain and crazy, but I’m sure that I love you. I’ve made my decision, and I don’t want to pressure you into anything, we can wait– I can wait for you... I just need to know, Y/N, would you marry me?”
“Yes!” You fell to your knees and hugged him tightly. “Oh gods, so this is why you were acting so nervous? Holy Hera, Frank, I was so worried!”
Frank laughed, kissing your temple. “I’m sorry, I wanted to make it really special, but I was so nervous all the time...”
“It’s okay, this was perfect,” You shook your head, watching as he put the ring in your finger. “We’re perfect.”
_______________________________
When you have time, how about a fluffy, awkward first kiss with Frank? Like he offers to take reader to see his hometown during Christmas, its snowing and everything is lit up and he kisses reader but is very awkward about it? (I love Christmas Fluff) // Imagine with Frank where its Autumn and a nice colorful day in the city and Frank seems really nervous and it turns out he wanted to propose to reader? Thanks in advance // Hi! Can you do a Frank Zhang x reader where his s/o is insecure because she is a bit of a tomboy? Thank you!
Frank Taglist: @goldglitteryfoxtrot
#I hope you like it !!#i did my best#frank zhang imagines#frankxreader#Danny's writing#pjo imagine#hoo imagine#the christmas special
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MC Being Lesbian Fluff/Smut-ish (MWA7R)
I thought it’d be pretty funny to think of how stories would turn out if the MC was gay. So basically this is a shit post but heh heh let’s see how it goes.
Warning: Mature, Reference to sex, Mild language.
~~~~~~
After the company wide meeting appointing the new special executives, I make my way up to the CEO’s office to collect my reward. This is all pretty sus. I should have asked to sign later. I sighed to myself, dropping my face into my hands as I walked down the hall.
“Hey, MC, nice work!” A female coworker I’m... close with laughs as she passing me and I sigh. She’s smirking, probably imagining me naked after all the times we’ve rolled around in each other’s bed after company parties. Luckily, she doesn’t work in my division, so we only see each other in the halls, but somehow she always finds me.
“Still available for later?” She pretends to hand me a file, drawing close so she can whisper in my ear. I blush, having completely forgotten about the meeting we organised. I don’t know how today will turn out after how crazy its already been.
“I’ll text you if my plans change.” I force a smile and this time she sighs.
“So tense. You need to relax.” Her voice is low as she discreetly runs her fingers down my back and gives my ass a quick pinch. I squeak, not expecting it, and she laughs, continuing her voyage back to her office.
~~~~~~
My grandfather is- was the CEO of the company I work at and I have to marry a man? That’s all I got from what the now acting CEO, Hayami explained. I was distraught, embarrassed and confused. First of all, what asshole doesn’t introduce himself to his own granddaughter? Well, maybe I should be thankful for that, he could have disowned me too. Who’s to say he didn’t already know I was gay? Well, him insisting I marry a man would be a clue to his ignorance.
“Um, there’s just one thing.” I laugh awkwardly as Seiichiro asks if any of us have any questions. Ren and Yamato aren’t here, so I don’t feel as embarrassed to come out to all these strikingly handsome men... Until they burst through the door... And agree to join the marriage program. I try to interrupt their conversation, but they seem too busy planning what to do with me to listen. Eventually, I get tired.
“I’m not marrying anyone in this room!” I announce as loudly as possible and they all freeze, turning to me with varying degrees of amusement or annoyance.
“You have to, you signed this contract.” Seiichiro smirked, pushing forward the evidence he’s already threatened me with. I cross my arms, wishing I was in a closet on the other side of the planet- excuse the pun.
“I’m not marrying anyone because I’m not interested in men.” Trying my best to ignore my two childhood best friends standing either side of me, I blush, avoiding all the astonished looks that take over their faces. I didn’t realise I was only attracted to women until after they graduated, and I’m too awkward to just come out and say it, they never needed to know anyway. Arisa and Yumi know, mainly because they walked in on me and my lady friend making out on my desk late one night at the office, but no one else does.
“You’re gay? This is just perfect!” Asahi laughs, obviously amused by this development.
“MC... Why-?” Yamato frowns his brows at me but I give him the look. The look that says this really isn’t the time for him to be acting brotherly.
“This is a predicament.” Seiichiro’s face screws up in contemplation, glaring at the document in his hands as he tries to think of what else to do.
“Yeah, it’s a real shame... So I’m gonna go...” I lead off, already turning around o leave the room when I hit face-to-chest contact with someone who snuck up behind me. Blushing, I step back, only to see Hiroto smirking down at me.
“I do like a woman who likes to experiment.”
This time, I laugh. Mainly because I cannot believe he just said that. “You’re a pig.” I spit, pushing him to the side so I can make it out of this room with as much dignity as I came here with. God, I hated coming out. Why can’t it just be normal to be a homo.
~~~~~~
That night, I definitely called over my lady friend. An agreement of our working relationship is that we share no feelings, its just sex, but I’m so pent up with frustration I may have dominated a little more than I usually do. Which, thankfully, she doesn’t seem to mind.
Panting on the bed in my apartment, I gazing up at the ceiling, resting my head on her arm.
“You... You really went there today.” Her breathing was just as ragged and, although her tone was light-hearted, I grew worried I had hurt or annoyed her. “No, its fine. I liked it. But, there’s something bothering you? After you won all that money, I would have thought you were buying me champagne.” She chuckles, sitting up once I did to gauge her expression and grabbing a shirt off the floor, not checking if it was hers or mine.
“I didn’t win money.” I sighed, throwing my head back against my pillow as I spread my limbs as I far as I could. I needed a massage. I was still pissed by what the financial group’s executive said and how I was probably still going to get pushed into that situation. The bed dipped beside me as my sex friend rested her head on my chest.
“You’re heart’s racing, but that might be because you just gave me the best orgasm I’ve ever had.” She jokes, worried but trying to keep the conversation light, and I huff a chuckle.
“I won a husband.” I didn’t mind telling her what happened today. We trusted each other with our secret and I knew she didn’t like gossip. But, I could tell my admission made her concerned when she lifted herself up on her arms and stared into my eyes. She was trying to see if their was a teasing glint in my eyes, but, alas, this was not a prank.
“Apparently, I’m the granddaughter of the late CEO and I need to marry one of the Special Executives unless the company folds. That contract I signed? A fucking marriage contract!” I growled, getting more annoyed by the second. I still hadn’t put any clothes on, the sheet draped over my lower half, but I was getting hot with anger. What kind of grandfather, not to mention CEO, makes that kind of deal?!
“That’s not legal.” Being a part of the company’s legal team, my bed buddy frowned her brows as I sat up, resting my head against the back board, keeping my gaze on the ceiling to try and stop my tears. I. Was. So. Annoyed. It took me a long time to admit to myself I liked... loved women and now I’m being pushed into a loveless marriage with a man!
“Of course it isn’t, but that’s not gonna stop Sanno’s right-hand man.” I said the title in a funny voice, which made my friend giggle, but I just sighed at my poor attempt of a joke. We’re silent for a moment, both of us in deep contemplation over the strange change of events.
“Marry me.” She suddenly says and my gaze jerks to her. Her expression is serious, more than I’ve ever seen it, and I become increasingly aware that I am butt-ass naked.
“Wh-What?” I blush. I’ll admit, I had more feelings for her than I should have. She’s funny, sweet and incredibly beautiful. Even though she pushes the line of what’s appropriate in the workplace, it’s light-hearted. I’ve never had a bad time with her. Not to mention how good a cook she is. How unbelievably smart. We’ve been at this for months. 6 whole months since we hooked up at the office Christmas party. But, we’ve never gone on a date. I’ve never met any of her friends, and the only time she’s met mine is when we were half naked, grinding on each other in my apartment, and they ran out seconds after they walked in.
“Come on, MC, we both know we have a greater connection than just in the bedroom. I... I’ve loved you for a long time now, I was so scared to say it, but if we say you’re already engaged, they won’t be able to push you into anything.” She cups my cheek in her hand, her eyes growing dewy and almost childlike. I feel my own eyes grow with tears.
“B-But that means you’ll have to come out. What about your job? If anyone knew you were gay, won’t they look down on you?” I frowned my brows, not wanting her to ruin her life for me. Although, my heart fluttered with each word she spoke.
“My team knows, they have no problem with it. And they can’t fire me, its against the law. We’re in separate divisions, so we won’t get in trouble. I’m not scared if I’ve got you to back me.” Her gaze nervously drops for a moment, but the seriousness within them returns two-fold when we make eye contact again. I feel my face blush darkly and I gulp to try and wet my throat enough to speak without a shaky voice. “So, will you marry me?”
“Y-Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you!” I start off quiet, but its difficult to hold in my excitement as I jump onto her, pushing my lips so fiercely against hers I would have worried I’d chip a tooth, but I was too happy. I feel vibrations of her chuckle as I clamber on top of her, my body alight with desire once again, even after the hours we went at it only moments ago.
“You giving me newly-wed sex, now?” She sighed in pleasure as I practically ripped the top off her, hungrily kissing her neck.
“I’m giving you everything.” I lean up to whisper in her ear before dipping down again. What followed were hours longer of exercise and love making, which I was definitely happy to have for the rest of my life.
~~~~~~
“You’re already engaged?” Seiichiro didn’t look very impressed as I stood in front of his desk, a broad smile on my face. It was still a little embarrassing to say and, seeing as I had neither a ring on my finger or my partner beside me, it was hard to prove .Not to mention how exhausted I was when we kept each other up until morning, but I paid that no mind.
“And who is this partner of your’s? A woman, perhaps?” Likely not believing my excuse after walking out of the meeting yesterday, the acting CEO raised an eyebrow at me.
Then, a knock came to the door and my heart fluttered. “You might want to answer that.” My smile grew and he frowned his brows, instructing the person to enter.
There stood my beautiful bride-to-be, dressed in her sexy pant suit with a whole stack of sexy legal files tucked under her sexy arm. I might be a little biased. She was going to help me get out of the contract. When our eyes met, my heart raced, making my face blush. She stepped forward, introducing herself as an employee of the company before bowing to our boss’s boss’s boss.
“I would like to know how you thought you’d get away with forcing my fiancee to sign that marriage contract of your’s?” She smirked, Seiichiro’s expression faltering and my heart exploding at the word. Fiancee. Wow, I’ve never heard it sound so good.
“You- And you- You’re-?” Seiichiro couldn’t wrap his small pee-brain around the idea and we both tried to stifle a laugh at the bewildered look on his normally stoic face.
“Would you like me to prove it?” My fiancee- oh god I’ll never not get excited at saying that- wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to her. Using all my self control not to jump on her right here and now, I mockingly slapped her arm, telling her how unprofessional this was.
Before, however, she could release me, the doors the office opened once again.
“Sei, have you solved the-?” As we turn around, my soon-to-be-wife’s arms still wrapped around my waist, I see several of the men competing for my hand freeze the second they observe this scene. I blush, still as horrifically embarrassed by PDAs as I was before, but my girlfriend seems very amused, noted but the jump in her chest as she chuckles.
“You shouldn’t be looking at other marriage candidates when I’m around.” She whispered in my ear, guiding my gaze back to her with the pinch on my chin. I blush, mustering my courage to say what I want to say in front of all these eyes.
“There’s no others.” I mumble before crashing my lips into her’s. We’re heatedly seeking each other for a moment, my fiancee maybe feeling a little possessive with her hand bunching my hair to pull me closer. Luckily, I have the wherewithal to pull back, although my breathing is a little ragged and my face is bright red as I smile sheepishly at her.
“I think you’ll find all these documents prove intent and evidence of your crime. Oh, and if you think of firing me, I have a contract with the company that allows me to sue for wrongful termination. We’ll have a meeting at the end of the week to go over a consolidation arrangement for causing emotion harm to my fiancee. Good day, Mr Hayami.” My fiancee smiles as she hands over the papers she walked in here with and bows.
“I’ll see you at lunch.” She leans into my ear but speaks loud enough for the other’s to just about hear as she pinches my butt again, leaving with almost a skip in her step.
“That was a lawyer from HR?” Hiroto loudly exclaimed once the door shut and probably the woman I’ve ever loved most is no longer here. I’m almost caught in a daze remembering how strong she just acted to save me.
“Why am I not surprised you knew that?” Junta sighs, obviously not happy with this turn in events as I shake the sinful thoughts out of my head. God, I love her.
Turning back to Seiichiro, who’s leisurely sifting through the files my fiancee gave him, I watch the scowl etched in his face cut deeper. He sighs, mutters something under his breath, and pulls what I’m sure is my marriage contract out of his top desk drawer. “You can marry anyone you please, it won’t impede the soundness of the company or pile a mountain of debt over you.” I can hear him crying internally at being bested as he tears the contract in two.
“Thank you, sir! I’m very grateful!” I bow lowly, too overjoyed to notice how ticked off most of the men in the room are.
After that day, I’m very open with my relationship. Yamato and Ren warm to my fiancee very well, although it seems like a purely professional relationship. Yumi and Arisa, mainly Arisa, are more than happy to help me plan the wedding- seeing as they’ll be a big part in it- and we have a small destination wedding thanks to my inheritance money. I’m more than happy, I don’t know a word to describe it. Our careers are going well and neither of us want kids just yet, but in time. I’m just so happy I could marry the person I love being the real me.
~~~~~~
This turned out way cuter than I expected it to, but I am SO here for it lol. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
#mwa7r#my wedding and 7 rings#yamato kougami#asahi kakyouin#junta nikaido#hiroto chitose#ren shibasaki#kai fujisawa#seiichiro hayami#lgbt#gay#voltage games#voltage fanfic
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What would it be like if Colette and Holt lived in 2020 (without the virus!) but there was no Dreamland? What jobs might they have? How would they meet? How did Holt lose his arm (war? accident?). Is Colette famous? If so, for what?
Oh so many ideas, but here’s the one I’ll respond this ask ;)
Kentucky, June 2020
Holt Farrier, ex horse showman, was reading the newspaper in the morning like he always does every day. Although today, it was for him to concentrate because of his son Joe, who was playing with his new Xbox he got last Christmas.
It annoyed a bit the cowboy that Joe was so addicted with this technology with high volume and at this early hours. His daughter Milly was not different, when she was younger once in a while sat on her father’s lap and read the paper together alongside with his wife Annie. But now she prefered watching the news on her cellphone, searching science updates in the world. The worst part was the uncountable TikToks they do with their friends, now that summer began, TikTok was their only way to communicate apparently.
But in some way it didn’t surprised Holt at all that his kids were so submerged in their gadgets. Since their mother died of an illness almost an year ago, his children coped with their loss in the best way they could. In some parts, Joe dealt with Annie’s death better than Milly but it was still hurtful for both of them.
However, Holt felt he was suffering the loss the worst, he lost the love of his life while he was away on a excursion on the mountains with his friends Arav, Puck and Rongo. He felt guilty for not being there for her and for his kids. And if it was not enough, some days before Holt received the news of the death of his spouse, he had a terrible accident while he was climbing on the rock mountains. According to his friends, Holt was barely on the top, trying to reach one of the picks, but out of nowhere he slipped and fell many feet in the air. His body crashed somewhere in the rocks and woods. The last thing the cowboy remember is that he waked up in a hospital...without an arm. His left arm was gone and some days after his wife was gone too.
Holt and Annie were horse showman and woman, touring around USA doing tricks with their stallions since that was the thing they loved to do the most. Their connection with horses was one of the things that united them even more. They loved the aesthetic of old-school circuses, but nowdays people are not longer interested on circuses anymore which brought Holt many economic problems.
Now without the love of his life, without an arm and without a job, Holt’s world was no longer the world he adored, so he decided to move with his daughter and son to his childhood town and buy a small house with the few savings he had kept. It wasn’t much but it was something, they had at least a roof upon their heads, electricity, hot water and of course wifi which is very expensive. Not living in tour anymore felt weird; static like a rock and being in just one place, it was practically boring.
Holt’s friends, who came from different parts of the country and the world, tried to convince him and lend him money until he find a job, however, Holt was so proud to accept money from his friends. If he wanted money, he had to earn it and he did not want to be in debt with the people he cared.
Just in very rare ocassions he accepted his friend’s monetary help and became stubborn promising a lot of times he’ll return what he owes, even though his pals said to him is not a big deal, that he’ll pay when he can.
That’s why Holt was reading the newspaper, so he could find a decent job, although, what job would accept a handicapped guy?. The rider from Kentucky was desperated, mostly for his children.
Suddenly, a knock of the door was heard, Holt reacted to the sound and quickly lifted his head up. The cowboy looked at his son sitting on the couch, which was nearer to the door, playing with his Xbox, super concentrated.
“Joe would you get the door?” Holt asked the boy.
“I’m busy dad, I’m in the middle of a mission right now.” the kid responded.
Holt rolled his eyes and spoked again, “Joe, c’mon, or I’ll plug off that damn thing this instant” he warned out loud.
Joe turned his head to see his father and reluctantly the kid obeyed him. He paused his game and circled the couch to get to the entrance.
“It was an important mission you know?” Joe protested.
“Yeah you said that yesterday 12 o’clock PM, you’ve been playing all week boy”
Joe’s eyes widened and then he nodded embarassed, “Non taken.”
The boy headed to the door and opened it, only to find a short man, he was the same height as Joe. He was around his sixties, had white curly hair, a pair of shades on his eyes, brown shorts, black flip flops and a radiant colorful hawaiian shirt.
“Hey Max!” Joe exclaimed in surprise seeing their family friend.
“What’s up little buddy!” Max responded in glee, “Tell me, is your dad here? I have excelent news for him.” the short man said excited.
“Max!” Holt waved him from the kitchen, “Come on in and sit.”
Max Medici, a not very succesfull sales man, was best friends with Holt’s dad and him when the rider was just a lad. Holt enjoyed his company, his optimism was very contagious even when his plans not always go as he wanted. Anyway, Medici’s smile made everyone smile too, that was one of his gifts.
“What is it Gustavo? Please sit” Holt invited his friend to sit with him at the kitchen table.
Max sighed at the mention of his real name, “Please Holt, just call me Max, ok? You’ll ruin my reputation here.” he took off his sun glasses and cliped them into the collar of his shirt.
“Ok sorry,” Holt chuckled, “What are this incredible news you have for me? Oh, please don’t tell me you had another fail in your bussiness and you need cash.” Holt sat slowly, expecting the news to be bad, since, now he’s used to them “Don’t ask me money pal, I still owing you those $100 bucks from last month---”
“Can you please shut up cowboy” Max interrupted him. “Jeez, I didn’t came here to bother you, on the contrary, I came here to cheer you up, bud.” he said with a huge smile.
Holt rose an eyebrow and listened. “So, what is it?”
“Look, a friend of a friend, of a friend, of a friend of mine, said that a famous actress has a ranch here in Kentucky, and she needs a foreman to take special care of it, mostly the horses.” Max said with a trusting glance.
“Wait, wait, wait a minute. Work for a famous actress? Who?” Holt was curious and wary of proposal.
“Colette Marchant the french actress of course!” the old man made a happy gesture with his hands to encourage his friend.
The name of the woman ranged on Holt and Joe’s ears, so much so that the boy left his game and turned around to face the adults.
“You’ll work for Colette Marchant dad!?” Joe asked happily, “I love her movies, and she’s so pretty. You will work with her dad?”
“What happened? Why is Joe so excited?” Milly enetered to the living room with cellphone in hand and her curly hair combed into a bun.
“Dad is going to work for Colette Marchant, the actress!!” Joe was very happy about the news.
“Wow, really?” Milly looked curious at her father.
“Kids uhhmm, I haven’t decided this yet, I just found out. Go to your rooms and I’ll tell you later, or go outside.” Holt said to his children who obeyed him after a few minutes.
After that, Holt continued, “You want me to work as a foreman for a celebrity?” This didn’t conviced the cowboy very much,”Remember Max, I used to be a celebrity as well, I was like a superhero on top of my horses, if my friends find out that now I work as a foreman... they’ll think I fell so low.”
“Yes I know, but now things changed lad, this is a great job and the pay is very good. Look, this woman will stay in America all summer, from June to September 3rd. The rumor says she wanted to leave her home France for a couple of months and be alone, or somethng like that. She says she loves horses and needs somone efficient for the job. And don’t worry, she does speak english.”
Holt started to think massaging his chin, “And how is she, I mean, she’s bossy or calm?”
Max inhaled through his nose, “I heard she’s quite, well, spoiled but nothing that you can’t handle.”
“And where’s her ranch?”
“In Louisville, right in the north.” Max answered.
Holt’s eyes opened wide, “Louisville? But that’s too far! Mhmmm, I don’t know Max, I’ll have to think about it...” Holt was trying to considerate the offer.
“Well,” Max said a bit nervous, “in your place I won’t think it that much because... I’ve already talked about you and maybe I’ve send you refferences as well.”
Holt looked at his friend in shock, “You did what!!? How can you do that without telling me!? Are you insane!?.”
“I did it because I knew you were going to doubt and think this kind of job is below you.” Max stated strictly. “Here,” the older man took from his pocket a card with a number, “this is the phone number of her butler, if I were you I’ll call him now and accept the job.”
Holt gave a glare at Max, he couldn’t believe that his friend did all this behind his back.
“Holt c’mon, is a good payed job, surrounded by nature, taking care of horses and have your kids taking fresh air, isn’t that what you wanted?” Max stood up and left the card on the table. “Do it pal is a great opportunity.” the short man put his shades back on his face, approached the door and left.
Holt passed his only hand through his hair and looked at the card, this was all new to him he didn’t know what to do. But at the same time, working for a celebrity could be very interesting not to mention to payment, it could be higher than he can imagine. Also, the most important thing for Holt now are his children, he needed to give them a secured and stable life.
The cowboy reached for his laptop and searched about Colette Marchant, some pictures were showed on Instagram and the most recent one was a photo of her black and white, already in Kentucky sunbathing, in the backround there was her big house of her ranch.
Then Joe’s words about her resonated on Holt’s mind, She looks...pretty... I’ll give her that, he thought. He had never seen any of her movies but now he knows why a lot of people admires her or talks about her as soon as he read the reviews of her films. Then he searched for more pictures of the place, including her horses, which looked very healthy and beautiful. Holt went to the kitchen table and stared at the card with the number one more time. He made a long sigh and took it.
“I must be very crazy right now.” he said trying to grab his phone too.
-------------------------------------------------
A couple of days later and some other calls made, Holt and his kids finally flew all the way from the south of Kentucky to the north in Louisville to get the foreman cadre. In the airpor they were greeted by Sotheby, Miss Marchant’s english butler.
He gently guided them to the car, which he personally drove, and headed to Marchant’s ranch.
After 30 minutes travelling by car, they finally arrived and admired the big splenderous house. The vehicle parked in front of the property.
“Wow!” Milly and Joe said at the same time in awe looking the place through the window. “ Look at this place! I want to get in now!” the Farrier boy exclaimed opening the car door.
“Now, now lads,” Holt stoped Joe making a sign with his hand, “This is gonna be my working place, let’s go with calm.” Holt exited himself from the car and then his children followed him. He was wearing a dark blue short sleeved t-shirt, blue jeans, snikers and his lucky white cowboy hat. As soon as they were getting closer to the house, Milly took a couple of pictures of it and post them on Twitter.
Once they were on the porch, Sotheby told them to stay there, “Just wait here, Miss Marchant will talk to you in a couple of minutes, please sit.” the english butler politely offered to the Farriers.
Three minutes passed and Holt was already getting nervous, so he decided to talk to the children.
“So, how do you imagine Colette Marchant is behind the cameras?” Holt asked.
“I don’t know,” Milly answered “I heard she’s a diva, I watched her latest film Femme Fatale with my friend some months ago, she was very good in it, but...the plot sucked.”
“I see...” Holt rised his eyebrows. He remembered when he read Colette’s film reviews, some the critics said practically the same, Colette was stunning, but the direction and script by the known famous director VA Vandevere, where just ok or not very good.
Suddenly Sotheby appeared again, the Farriers rose up from porch couch and waited for the butler to speak.
All of the sudden, coming out from the door, there was a woman on her mid thirties, with almost wavy black hair, black dress, make up on her eyelids and intense blue eyes. It was her.
“Mademoiselle Marchant, this is Holt Farrier and his children, he came here for the foreman job.” Sotheby intoduced the cowboy and the actress.
Joe and Milly where in awe by looking at the elegant actress, Joe tried his best to not squeal, while Milly couldn’t contain her big grin.
Holt put his head steady and took a deep breath. “Hi, is a pleasusre to meet you,” the rider offered his hand to shake with hers.
But when Colette turned around to see clearer the man, her face showed a shocked expression. Then she started to talk.
“Uhhhmm, excuse moi but, what is this?” the french lady questioned staring at the cowboy.
Holt’s eyebrows frowned in confusion, “I’m sorry? I came here for the job Miss. that’s why I’m here.” he retreated his hand took off his white hat.
Colette’s eyes were fixed on on the man’s left side.
The cowboy noticed that and looked at where his left arm once was. Holt exhaed a quiet laugh and spoke up again. “Yeah, I know what you’re thinkin’ but don’t worry, it didn’t hurt that much.” he said trying to erase the uncomfortable topic, “and it doesn’t hurt now---”
“You don’t have...an arm monsieur.” the french celebrity was obviously dissapointed.
Milly and Joe glanced with concern at their father. They knew how hard it was for him to deal with a missing limb, it was something that made him more insecure with time. But they also knew that their dad tried to ignore it and move on, he hated when others feel pity for him.
“Well, yes Miss,” Holt started to get even more puzzled, “I mean....you didn’t know?” he looked at Sotheby who was just as confused as him.
Colette sighed impatiently “Do you think I would’ve hire a handicapped man as my foreman if I knew he was handicapped?”
“But, with all respect, I thought they had send you my refferences. My friend send them to you.” Holt explained.
“I have recived them and nothing in there mentioned a missing arm.” Miss Marchant said bluntly.
Holt started to breathe through his teeth with impotence, “Max you idiot!” he quietly muttered a bit enraged. First Max send his refferences without asking him first and he didn’t even mention the thing about his arm? The rider wanted to kill his friend at that moment.
The european lady sensed Holt’s discomfort and clasped her hands, “I’m sorry, but I cannot hire someone who is not capable.”
Holt turned his head to face the woman, breathing deeply and swallowing , “I am capable, please Miss, give me a chance.”
“You are not up to my standards, ma cherie.I cannot force a cripple to do this kind of work, because they can’t---”
That word hit Holt right in the chest, like bullet to his heart. That single word made his blood boil and encreased his anger, “I’m not... a cripple.” he said low and serious.
Colette’s eyes opened wide giving him a sarcastic shocked reaction, “Then I am not french!” she stated joking with irony, “Oh, my parents will be glad to hear it!”.
“Very funny.” Holt gave her an unamused sideway smile, “Look, if I’m going to stay in this place to be insulted, I’ll get the hell out of here. Let’s go lads.” Holt put his hat on, taking his children with him while walking away from the woman and her butler.
Colette crossed her arms, exhaled an unimpressed sigh, denying her head. She looked how the Kentucky rider was leaving the porch walking by her loan, until she spoke again.
“With that attitude of yours you are not going to get anywhere. You are too proud, cherie.”
The Farriers stoped as soon as Holt stoped, the rider bit his lip and slowly turned around. He wasn’t going to let this woman to have the last word.
“And you, princess,” the cowboy challenged, “you’re too spoiled”. His kids looked at eachother in surprise for what his father had just said.
Colette’s mouth fell open at Holt’s statement, “What an attitude.”
“What an ego.” Holt interjected again teasing her, imitating her tone and with a rised eyebrow.
“You have a problem?” Colette’s voice became demanding. She started to walk towards him.
“You’re my problem. Princess.” Holt smiled like a child.
“Do not take that tone with me. Do not disrespect me!” Colette approached the cowboy until she was just one meter from him. “And please, do not call me a ‘princess’.”
“You called me a cripple, and I call you princess. I think is pretty fair.” Holt rested his hand on his hip. “It is what you’re. You’re spoiled, believing you’re better than me, also, you like to whine when people tells you the truth. Oh, I’m sorry, did her majesty got her feelings hurt.” he teased her with a exagerated pout.
“How dare you---!” before Colette would say or do something else, the cat and dog fight was interrupted by Sotheby who ran towards the two of them.
“Miss Marchant, if I may please!” Sotheby calmed his boss, “Try to considerate this man, we have read his file, he may not have an arm, but his expirience is very good. Better than the other ones, and Miss, if I you give me your permission to say this, yesterday you said you liked his profile, that it was what you needed.”
“Don’t worry mister.” Holt stated directly to the butler. “Is not necessary to defend me, we’re going now, have a nice day. C’mon children.”
But Milly did not move, “No dad wait.” she exclaimed and turned to face Colette.
Holt and Joe stayed where they stood when Milly spoke. Her dad whispered to her, “Milly, what you doin’?”.
Milly walked towards the actress with her chin held high and honesty in her eyes, “Miss Marchant please forgive my dad, I know he can be a bit, well, stuborn.”
“I saw that.” Colette gave a glare at Milly’s father for a second. Holt rolled his eyes.
“But... he tried for months to get a job that we don’t know if he’ll ever get another opportunity like this one anytime soon. Please, give him another chance.”
The girl’s pleading moved a little the french woman, she amired how determinated she was, it reminded of herself when she was Milly’s age.
“Please Miss,” the Farrier girl’s voice suddenly became melancholic, “since...my mom died, life has been hard on us.” she turned to see her family, “It was very hard for my dad too, he lost his arm in an accident, but he’s still strong, he always was.” the girl smiled at her dad.
Holt felt overwhelmed by his daughter’s words and smiled back at her. Then he faced once more at the actress who was just moved as him. Sotheby also felt the emotions of the girl.
Miss Marchant placed a hand on her heart and showed a genuine worried expression, “Your mother died, petit? I’m so sorry...I didn’t knew.”
“It’s ok.” Milly answered.
“What was her name?” Colette asked.
“Annie.” Holt responded for his daughter, “Her name was Annie. She left us an year ago.”
“I see, and what is your name petit?” Colette asked to the girl.
“Milly”
“And yours monsieur?” the actress looked at the boy at Holt’s side.
Joe froze as the famous celebrity talked to him, “I-I’m Joe, a-a-and I’m your biggest fan.” Joe said nervous.
Colette laughed a bit at the boy’s presentation, she thought it was kind of cute. She glanced over Holt again and approached him litte by little, making him suspect on what this woman is going to do now.
“How much do you need this job?” she sternly asked at the rider, not breaking eye contact.
Holt blinked and inhaled deeply, “Honestly....very much.”
“Tres bién, I’ll give one more chance, I’m not giving it just because you are capable, we will see about that with the time. But also because this will be good to your children as well, do it for them, not just for you.”
“I am”. Holt answered firmly looking at the woman’s sapphire eyes.”My kids... are the most sacred thing I have left in this world.”
She gave him a trusting grin, “That’s the attitude I wanted. You are hired ma cherie.” she gave him her hand.
Holt looked at her elegant and white hand and gently, he took it and shaked it, sealing the deal. He glanced again at her face forming a tiny smile and feeling the softness of the lady’s hand.
“And I’m sorry if I insulted you, is just you can really push a person’s buttoms, monsieur.” Colette said not letting go the gentleman’s hand.
“I can say the same thing about you, but I’m sorry too. Thank you for givin’ me this chance, I hate to admit it but I’m forever in your debt.” Holt’s voice became quickly smooth with real remorse on his apologizing words. Then, he winked at her to give her trust.
All of the sudden, Colette’s cheeks turned pink, she was blushing. She didn’t know if the cowboy noticed, they were in summer so he could see her cheeks became hot for the heat. But Holt would never guess what was happening inside Colette’s body, because Holt’s commentary and the soft look in his eyes made her heart skip a beat.
The woman coughed and gently released her hand, she still could felt the roughness of the rider’s hand on her palm and fingers. But... somehow....she liked it.
“Tres bién! Let’s go inside, shall we?” Colette guided the Farriers to her house. Milly and Joe rushed inside the mansion, leaving Holt and Colette behind. The two giggled at the kids’ enthusiasm.
“They are very charming, monsieur.” Colette said walking alongside Holt, Sotheby was heading to the house a few meters away from them.
“Yes, they are. I’d give my life for them.” Holt turned to see the actress.
“I know they will enjoy being here, you will have good rooms to stay and later I will show my horses.”
“That sounds nice.... princess.” Holt teased her, containing his laughter.
Colette, as soon as she reached the entrance door, she turned again back to him with a warning stare, “Do not play smart with me Holt, I mean it.”
“Sorry...” he took off his hat and put it behind his back, he was smiling in a very naughty way.
“Non, you are not.” Colette crossed her arms, smiling in the same way as him.
“True.” with that Holt entered in the house. Leaving the french lady denying with her head, rolling her eyes and laughing to herself.
“Oh mon dieu, this man!” she entered to her house and closed the door behind her.
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THE END.
@vavandeveresfan This was fun, not my best work but still fun, I hope you liked it ;)
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To Keep It All The Year (1 /4)
Not long ago @katie-dub asked me if I was planning to write a Christmas fic. I said sure, I’m doing the CS Secret Santa. And then I thought about it, and I thought actually maybe I’ll write a little something for Katie because she is a delightful human, a kind and supportive friend, and one of the people I feel honoured to have got to know over the past year, and she deserves every nice thing. And then I started to think about what she might like and I had IDEAS which of course soon grew far beyond my original concept. And then @thisonesatellite egged me on (with REAL EGGS) and here is the result: an angry and broken Killian, a struggling single mother Emma, a precious wee Henry, and the healing power of Christmas magic.
Katie, my dear, I can’t begin to tell you how much your support has meant to me these past few months. You are the loveliest and most loving person, and I hope you enjoy this little offering 💕
SUMMARY: Killian Jones is a broken man, betrayed by everyone and everything he thought he could believe in. He’s all but given up on life until a fateful meeting with bartender Emma Swan and her son Henry gives him a reason to live again, and a chance to redeem his past.
All it takes is a little Christmas magic.
On AO3
Tagging all the folks from the last tag list, PLEASE do let me know if you want to be added or removed.
@kmomof4 @shireness-says @snidgetsafan @darkcolinodonorgasm @snowbellewells @stahlop @mariakov81 @courtorderedcake @jonirobinson64 @tiganasummertree @ohmightydevviepuu @shardminds @jennjenn615 @superchocovian
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PART ONE: THE PAST
He’s still broken when he meets her. Broken and bitter and angry. So, so very angry, the kind of angry that lodges in a man’s chest just below his heart and and rots there. Rots, but doesn’t rot away. The putrid tendrils of it twine and twist through him like the tentacles of the kraken he heard tales of as a boy. They fuse to his bones and mix with his blood and he welcomes them. His is a fury born of betrayal, by everyone and everything he thought he could believe in, and it’s all he has left of his life. It’s all he remembers how to feel.
He’s come to this place for escape, for peace, but there’s precious little of either to be found. Not here. Not in this neighbourhood of once-lovely houses built tall and proud and so sturdy their ruin takes decades, a slow attrition of cracked windows and crumbling corners and decay that sinks into the walls and consumes them from within. But it’s the best he can afford on what he has that’s his, and he finds that the atmosphere suits him. A broken place for a broken man.
He doesn’t have to work so for a while he doesn’t, spending his days walking the streets of the city on feet that carry him eventually, inevitably, to the docks. And there he stands, sometimes for hours, watching the horizon and the boats that move across it, stewing in his bitterness.
He prefers to do his drinking alone on the ratty sofa that doubles as his bed, his only company the blinking neon and the traffic noise, and the smell of pot smoke that wafts from the apartment below. His thoughts are tumultuous then, memories of writhing seas and wind and waves and Liam, of courtrooms and lawyers and just accept the payout, Commander Jones. They’re the bloody Royal Navy, they have resources you can’t hope to match.
Sometimes though his solitude becomes oppressive, a heavy darkness that sucks the air from his lungs and drives him back onto the streets where he breathes the filthy smog in heaving gulps and then again he walks, among the crowds but not of them, until he finds a bar where people look like they won’t ask questions.
It’s on one of those days—of all the good days in the year on Christmas Eve—that as he trudges through the greying slush barely a block from his apartment his eye falls upon a door he feels sure he’s never seen before. It’s not in any way a special door, plain brown wood and a foggy window with writing he can’t quite make out, but a jolly little wreath is hung upon it and though he feels about as far removed from the Christmas spirit as any human creature could be, he finds himself pushing it open and going inside.
The bar he enters is small and worn in the way of well-loved things, the gouged wood of the tables polished to a soft gleam and the cracks in the leather seats carefully mended. Tall rows of bottle-laden shelves line the brick wall behind a carved oak bar that looks far too ancient for this modern land. It takes him all in a rush and flutter of memories back to the England of his childhood, to his mother still untouched by disease and his father not yet embittered by loss, he and Liam free from care as children should be, sneaking from their beds on Christmas Eve and down the back staircase to hide in a toasty corner of the pub and wait for Father Christmas.
He always awoke on Christmas morning in his bed, presents piled at the foot of it. A small pile, he knows now, but big to his young eyes, and he would wonder aloud how Santa managed to get him and Liam back to bed and deliver their presents as well. And Liam, six years older, would scoff and tell him don’t be stupid, Santa can do anything.
“What can I get you?”
The question snaps him back to the present and he realises he’s taken a seat on a leather topped stool at the bar. The woman behind it is smiling at him, a smile he’s certain she gives every patron but its bright warmth soothes him all the same.
“Rum,” he replies.
“Any particular kind?”
“The cheapest you’ve got.”
She grabs a bottle of a brand he knows is far from the cheapest and pours out a generous measure, places it on a cocktail napkin and slides it in front of him with a look that dares him to make something of it. He accepts her kindness with the most gracious nod he can manage, saluting her with the glass before taking a sip. It goes down smooth and he closes his eyes on a sigh, savouring the spicy richness and mellow burn, a far cry from the second cousin to paint stripper he’s grown accustomed to.
“Thank you,” he says.
She smiles again. “Merry Christmas.”
He sips the rum slowly as he falls back into his memories, the earlier ones of brighter days he hasn’t thought of in years, so long they almost feel like they belong to someone else. To the person he was when he was happy, and it surprises him to recall that he was happy, that despite what came later he was once a part of a loving family. It saddens him, how thoroughly he’s forgotten this. A melancholy sort of sadness that makes him long for a different life.
And that, he thinks, is why he forgot.
The moment his glass is empty a new one appears at his elbow; although he didn’t speak to the lovely bartender it seems she anticipated him.
He doesn’t want to stare at her and yet she draws his gaze. There’s a light within her, a warmth that illuminates her golden hair and makes her green eyes glow. He watches from the corner of his eye as she goes about her job, pouring shots and pulling pints, always with a smile and a kind word. She brightens everything she touches, leaves it a bit better than she found it.
She’s magic, he thinks, then shakes off the foolish thought.
He’s deep into his second glass when she pulls a phone from her back pocket and her smile falters as she reads the screen; her light seems to dim and flicker, and without a word she turns and runs from the bar.
She returns moments later with a small boy in her arms, a lad who can’t be much more than three or four. He’s sound asleep against her shoulder and she cradles him protectively as she confronts the dark-haired man who’s emerged from the back office wearing a stern frown, arms crossed over his chest.
“Emma, you know you can’t have him in here,” the man says.
“What do you want me to do, August, I can’t leave him home alone!” she implores. “He can sleep on the sofa in your office, he won’t be any trouble—”
“We can’t have child unsupervised in the bar—”
“He’s not unsupervised if you’re in the office—”
“I’m heading home in half an hour.”
“August, please—”
“I can look after the lad.” He’s not sure what prompts the offer, perhaps because he’s been recalling his own childhood and the patrons in his father’s pub who never minded him under their feet, who entertained him with tales of their lives on the sea and who, he’s come to realise, lifted some of the burden of childcare from his parents’ shoulders so they could do their jobs. Regardless of where it came from, he means it. It seems the least he can do for this remarkable woman.
The woman—Emma—turns to him with a look of surprise. “Would you?”
“If the only obstacle is not having anyone to sit with him, then yes, it would be my pleasure.”
Emma fixes him him with a hard, searching look, and he is conscious of being measured and assessed and weighed in the balance as never before. Then she nods. “What’s your name?”
“Killian Jones.”
“Well, Killian Jones, you’d be saving my neck.”
He smiles. It feels strange on his face after so long an absence, but also right. “It’s a neck worth saving, love.”
She laughs. “I’m Emma Swan, and this is Henry. We just live across the street, if you could—”
“Of course.” He grabs his coat and follows Emma as she heads for the door.
“August, I’ll be back in fifteen,” she calls over her shoulder.
“Make it ten.”
—
The cold outside is bitter, biting. It comes as a shock after the cosy warmth of the bar, and he’s glad Emma was being truthful when she said she lived just across the street. Across it and a bit to the left in a building much like Killian’s own, with solid brickwork and elegantly wrought cornices obscured by grime and years of neglect, its pointing crumbling away under the weight of creeping moss. She leads him through the outer door—its lock is broken, he observes—and up a chilly staircase several flights to a door where he’s relieved to see that the lock is both sturdy and new. He’s prepared to bet Emma installed it herself.
She unlocks it, balancing Henry on her hip in a practiced manoeuvre, and leads him into a tiny apartment that from his cursory observations strikes him as far too familiar for his liking. He follows her into the bedroom where she lays the boy on a child-sized bed in one corner of the cramped room. There is an adult single bed in another corner, along with a sturdy bureau that takes up most of the remaining space and a rickety chair draped in clothes. A few toys litter the floor around Henry’s bed, and Killian is impressed by the way Emma navigates around them even in the dark.
She tucks the blankets around her son then gently shakes his shoulder until he wakes.
“Mom?” Henry murmurs groggily. “Has Santa come?”
“Not yet, baby, but he will. You just have to go back to sleep first.”
“You woke me up,” Henry points out. Killian feels a grin tug at his lips. Clever lad.
Emma’s mouth quirks as well. “I know, but Mrs Lucas had an emergency so Killian here is going to look after you until I finish work,” she says. “Is that okay?”
Henry blinks at Killian and once again he feels his measure being taken by one who knows how to take it.
“Okay,” says Henry.
“Good. Just go back to sleep, baby, and if you wake up again Killian will be here.”
“’kay Mom.” Henry’s eyelids are already drooping. Emma touches Killian lightly on the arm and indicates with a slight jerk of her head that he should follow her again. They retreat to the living room, closing the bedroom door quietly behind them.
“If you need me just call the bar,” Emma says. “The number’s on the fridge and I can be here immediately.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine, love.”
She looks at him for a moment with an unreadable expression. He wonders what she sees, and what she thinks of it.
“Thank you for doing this, Killian,” she says. “Truly.”
His first impulse is to shrug away her thanks but something deep within him refuses to allow it. She doesn’t often ask for help, of this he’s certain, and although he has no notion of what might have led her to do so he’s deeply honoured that she’s asked it of him. Her gratitude deserves acknowledgement.
“You’re welcome, Emma,” he replies with another rusty attempt at a smile, rubbing at a spot just below his right ear. “Um, hadn’t you better get back to work? I imagine that boss of yours is counting the seconds until your return.”
“Probably.” The corners of her lips dance in amusement. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“I’ll be here.”
—
After she leaves he finds himself at a bit of a loss, unaccustomed to being alone in other people’s living spaces. He doesn’t want to turn on the television for fear of waking Henry, and Emma doesn’t have much in the way of books. With no other means of passing the time at hand he wanders around her apartment, not wishing to snoop but intensely curious about this young woman and her son.
The curiosity is new.
Their place is on the surface much like his own, the run-down building, the un-insulated windows, the mould in the corners and the general overlay of grime that no amount of scrubbing could ever shift. It’s grim, the sort of grimness that creeps its way into the soul and slowly sucks it dry.
And yet. There’s plastic on Emma’s windows, a thin film of it attached with double-sided tape and fitted with a hairdryer. Do-it-yourself insulation. She’s built shelves that hide the cracks in the wall and decorated them, with candles she actually burns and small framed pictures—some of which are clearly Henry’s work—plus some other little knickknacks and art projects of his. In the corner is a small Christmas tree decorated with coloured lights and a few bright baubles jumbled alongside ornaments made of uncooked pasta, glued in the shape of stars and painted gold, and cut-up paper snowflakes. She’s creative and clever and so is her lad, and the effect is far homier and more festive than Killian would ever have imagined it could be.
She’s trying, this Emma. There’s not much she can do with a place like this, but still she tries, and there’s valour in that effort. It brings a lump to Killian’s throat. How long it seems since he stopped trying.
He jumps as a noise comes from the bedroom, a small cry that lengthens into a wail.
“Mamaaa,” cries Henry.
Killian rushes into the bedroom and then stops, unsure of what to do. He sits on the edge of Henry’s bed, his hand hovering over the small form huddled beneath the blankets.
“Henry? Lad, it’s Killian. Do you remember me?”
Henry’s tearstained face appears and he snuffles, and rubs the back of his hand across his nose. He stares at Killian for a moment then nods. “I remember,” he says.
Slowly Killian lets his hand fall on the boy’s shoulder, rubbing it in a way he hopes is soothing. “Your mum’s still at work, but I’m here. What’s the matter?”
“I had a dream.”
“A scary one?”
“Yeah.” Henry’s lip quivers. He looks so distraught, and Killian surprises himself by sliding further onto the bed and reaching out his arm. Henry dives immediately beneath it and snuggles against Killian’s chest, burying his face in it and sniffling some more. Killian swallows past the lump in his throat, breathes through the squeezing pressure in his chest at the feel of the small body pressed against his, at the unbelievable honour of this show of trust.
“Do you want to tell me about your dream?” he asks.
“No,” says Henry, the word muffled against Killian's sweater but no less decisive for it.
“Oh. Erm... shall I tell you a story then?”
“Do you know any stories?” Henry looks up at him, wide-eyed.
“Aye. Sailors are renowned storytellers.”
“Are you a sailor?”
“I was.”
“Okay.” Henry snuggles closer, adjusts himself so that he can look at Killian while still resting against his shoulder. “Tell me a sailor story. Please.”
Killian weaves him a tale of a ship lost upon uncharted oceans, of a sailor with a broken heart who in a fit of despair cursed a true lovers’ knot and flung it overboard, which heedless act awakened an eldritch beast from out the briny deep. He tells of how the brave sailors fought against the beast to save their ship, and of how they succeeded, though at the cost of their souls.
It’s rather a dark tale for a child perhaps, but one he loved himself at Henry’s age. He can remember sitting before the fire in the pub, curled in Liam’s lap listening, as wide-eyed and rapt as Henry is now, to the old and weathered sailors as they wove it skilfully around him. Henry is enthralled but as the story unfolds his eyelids grow heavier and his body more relaxed, and by the time Killian has finished recounting the sailors’ terrible fate the boy is sound asleep.
Killian tries to ease him back into his bed but Henry clings to him, tiny fist tight on his sweater. With a sigh, Killian settles down and makes himself as comfortable as possible on the small bed, cradling Henry securely beneath his arm and tucking the blankets around them both. He closes his eyes, just to rest them, he thinks, and moments later he falls soundly asleep.
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#cs fic#cs ff#cs ff au#christmas au#christmas magic#bartender!emma#wee bab henry#broken killian#to keep it all the year#profdanglaisstuff
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Not the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (fanfic)
Lydia prepares to celebrate her first Christmas without her mother.
This..this is pretty angsty but also fluffy? It has a happy ending I swear.
Lydia had never been one of those people that were obsessed with Christmas and the Christman season. She didn’t dislike the holiday by any means, but it wasn’t her favorite, nobody in her family got super into it besides her uber-religious grandparents. Her mom and dad would take her to church on Christmas eve with the rest of the extended family but the rest of the holiday with filled with littler traditions they came up with as a family. As Lydia got older she learned that her mom didn’t have the most loving and affectionate family growing up and that’s why she tried to hard to get everything right for Lydia. She would make her own traditions and set her own standards, she was creating a family that not only supported Lydia growing up but made up for the crappy childhood Emily had. The Santa lie was quickly dropped when a seven-year-old Lydia displayed disgust at the prospect of this strange man with questionable business ethics sneaking into her house in the middle of the night, but the family still had their own unique way of making the holiday special.
Emily died in the middle of December the previous year, she had been sick for almost two years by that point and her body couldn’t fight anymore. She slipped away on the eighteenth of December and everything had been such a blur of emotions and funeral preparations and a parade of semi sympathetic family members that Christmas was thrown to the wayside. Charles still tried to get a smile out of his broken-hearted daughter but the feeble attempts to recreate the old traditions did nothing but further upset Lydia who spent the day locked in her room sobbing as she stared at photographs and in the mirror at her newly short and black hair wondering if she was even worthy enough to look like her mother. Though that day was technically her first Christmas without her mom it had been such a blur that she hadn’t even had time to process the loss. As the days grew closer this year it started to dawn on her that she would never run downstairs again to find her parents sitting down on the couch in their living room in front of their chaotically decorated tree, she’d never see her mom bury her face in her mug when Lydia went to open the present that her parents said she wouldn’t be getting, she’d never spend another Christmas morning having a gingerbread house decorating contest, she’d never have another Christmas eve where her parents would still have her leave out milk and cookies for Santa even though Lydia was much too old for Santa. Sure she had lots to distract her from her all-consuming thoughts with everyone in the house and celebrating Hanukkah with Wendy, but nothing could change the fact that on Christmas Eve Lydia was sitting alone on her bed, clutching a photograph from many Christmas’s ago in her shaking hands, unsure if she wanted to cry, scream, or throw the picture frame at the wall and watch the glass shatter around on the floor.
The whole month had been an emotional rollercoaster for her bouncing from having a panic attack at school, to the isolating loneliness that came with the anniversary of Emily’s death, to the heartwarming celebration of a new culture when she spent the first night of Hanukkah with Wendy and her family, and now the numbness she was overwhelmed with now. It was a strange sensation to be overwhelmed with numbness, it somehow both felt like everything and nothing at all. Filled with so many conflicting emotions that they all canceled each other out, leaving her feeling empty inside. There were so many other months that had less going on, Lydia couldn’t help but feel as though she was being punished with her mother’s death occurring right before Christmas. She knew that was a stupid thing to be annoyed by but now every single Christmas or Hanukkah from this point forward would always compete with the sadness Lydia felt when she thought about the loss of her mother. December Eighteenth. Every holiday would feel as though it was missing something, no matter how many people she added, no matter the friends she made or the family she found. Nothing would replace the hole where Emily Deetz once existed.
Though her therapist told her that keeping all these feelings boxed up inside of her was not good for her mental health she didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s holiday. The Maitland’s seemed so excited to have people to buy presents for, Delia was big into decorating, and though he was never crazy about it when she was little even her dad was getting into the Christmas spirit, making Lydia groan whenever he would kiss Delia underneath the mistletoe. The only person Lydia could pretend the holiday didn’t exist with was Beetlejuice, but now even with the day getting closer, he was constantly asking Lydia questions about Christmas. They were often stupid and funny questions so they were a welcome distraction but tonight she was alone. Everyone was sleeping or pretending to sleep in the Maitland’s case. She knew they were just upstairs in the attic and she could spend the night with them is she wanted to, but she couldn’t bring herself to get up. Even her cats noticed the difference in her demeanor, the usually distant Kraken was snuggled up with her on one side, and the always cuddly Cation on the other.
The clock on her dresser glowed midnight, and though she was exhausted she slid out of bed and went back over to the pile of presents she had accumulated in her room for all the family members. She remembered how happy she was at the beginning of the month, spending hours online and out shopping with Wendy trying to find the perfect presents for the wonderful people she got to call her family. She didn’t make a ton of money babysitting Skye but she wanted to splurge on them, they had done so much for her in the past few months, she wanted to let them know how much she appreciated it. She ran her fingers on the nicely curled bows and perfectly wrapped gifts knowing that she had to admit defeat and ask Barbara and Delia for help. It worked out really well because she didn’t want them to know what she got them so she just had the other person wrap it. One present she wrapped for herself though, and she debated on if she was going to put it under the tree. Her mother couldn’t open it anyway, she wasn’t exactly sure why she spent her money on it but she couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling in her heart until she had a gift for Emily. She told her therapist how stupid it made her feel, and while she knew her family wouldn’t tease her for it she still worried they would think the same thing she was. It was dumb, she was dumb for doing it, she...she shook her head and went back to her bed just wishing the holiday was over already and she could move on with her life.
She eventually passed out around two in the morning and woke up around ten in the morning. Christmas morning was a lot more casual now that Lydia was older, no more running downstairs at seven in the morning to see if Santa had come, it was now whenever Lydia rolled out of bed. She stood in the mirror ruffling her hair, noting that her blonde roots were starting to show and she was going to have to decide if she was going to go back to being blonde or dye her hair again. She straightened out her fuzzy pajamas and carried the armload of presents down the stairs to find the whole family hanging around the living room, Delia, her dad, and the Maitland’s talking about dinner that night and making sure there were kosher options for Wendy, though she wasn’t super strict about it. Beetlejuice was nursing some eggnog and glaring at her cat. While she was staring at her family, they hadn’t yet noticed she was standing behind them, Lydia decided that she wasn’t going to completely ruin her holiday by lamenting over things she couldn’t change. No matter how hard she wished it, nothing would change the family that the holidays would never have her mother in them again. Blinking away a tear in her eye she greeted everyone warmly and joined them around the Christmas tree.
“Merry Christmas Lydia!” Barbara wrapped her in a warm hug, Barbara was practically bouncing up and down in excitement to give Lydia her present. Charles grumbled a little teasingly because he also wanted to give Lydia her present, but knowing Barbara he let her go first. Lydia tore through the cat pattern wrapping paper and revealed a beautiful hand-painted portrait of her two cats. She couldn’t hold back a grin and she threw herself into a tight hug with the ghost profusely thanking her and how much she loved it. She got everything right from Cation’s grey and green eyes to Kraken’s cheeky smile. While it wasn’t a contest she didn’t know if anything could quite beat that, and it seemed like Barbara knew it because she was beaming.
Next, her father handed her a small package, and a larger package all wrapped in spare silver paper that Lydia had used for Wendy’s Hanukkah present, he smiled when handing it to her and said, “Open the small one first, I wasn’t sure if it’s your style but I hope you like it.”
Lydia carefully ripped the wrapping and opened the jewelry box to see a heart-shaped pendant with pink, white, and orange stripes. Lydia leaned her head against her father’s chest, “Aw dad thank you so much! I love it!”
“I know you have a lot of the rainbow pride things, and I wasn’t sure if you had any of the lesbian pride flag.” He blushed, “I know there’s a lot of controversy over the flag so I hope I got the right one.”
“It’s perfect dad, I love it.” She hugged him tightly extremely proud of the progress he’s made when it came to her identity. He was always accepting, he never once wavered in his love for her but he had gaps of knowledge when it came to it, but instead of remaining ignorant he was constantly learning and working to support his daughter. She teased him a lot but he really did try very hard to be a good father, and she appreciated everything. She must have been looking at the necklace for too long because her father was eagerly pushing the larger box towards her, she opened it up and was stunned to see the camera she had been begging for all year but her father swore he wasn’t going to be able to get because it was out of stock. She hung the strap around her neck and started taking pictures of everything going on throughout the rest of Christmas morning. Adam got her a set of new tea flavors that she had been wanting to try, Delia got her sweaters for her cats that Lydia instantly put them in and threw a mini photoshoot, and finally Beeteljucie tossed her a present wrapped only in tissue paper and scotch tape. She carefully unwrapped and laughed when she saw he got her “Cards Against Humanity” and fuzzy cat socks. He pretended not to smile when Lydia thanked him announcing he knew all along what to get her because he’s just that intuned to her interests, but secretly he was relieved she liked it. He spent hours trying to figure out what to get his best friend.
Lydia excitedly gave her presents to everyone: a new paint set for Barbara, a set of crystals for Delia, a model train starter kit for Adam, and a DNA kit for her father because he always talked about wanting to know about where he came from. They were all very thankful and they all lounged around in the torn-up wrapping paper while enjoying each other’s company. Lydia bit back a grimace when her father suggested a gingerbread house decorating contest, but seeing how excited everyone else got she couldn’t bring herself to say no. For the next two hours they kitchen turned from clean to a frosting, sprinkles, and gumdrop disastrous mess. In the end, Lydia’s house came in second just behind Delia’s who shockingly had a very impressive house. Lydia had never known how good her stepmother was at design, while her and her father had decorated the house it was always too outlandish for Lydia’s taste. The gingerbread house looked perfect though, the cookie ceiling had frosting icicle. It broke Lydia’s heart that Beetlejuice started eating it before she got a good photo of it.
She had been doing a good job of distracting herself, any time she caught herself slipping in her happy facade she threw herself into another mindnumbing task knowing it would keep her mind occupied until Wendy arrived. She was midway cutting up the potatoes for the side dish when there was a knocking at the door. Lydia quickly brushed her hands clean on a dish towel next to her and ran over to the door, almost slipping on the hardwood. She straightened up her red and green Santa hat and opened up the door. Wendy smiled warmly and Lydia pulled her in for a welcoming hug. Charles and Delia greeted Wendy as they walked into the kitchen, Barbara and Adam hugged her, and Beetlejuice shot her finger guns from the distance saying, “Happy holidays Weslie.”
“At least he’s getting closer,” Wendy whispered to Lydia
She simply rolled her eyes, “He knows your name he’s just trying to be a prick and pretend that he doesn’t care about my life. Honestly, the funny part is hearing what W name he’s going to use next to describe you, there’s only so many.”
“Last week I heard him call me Walter when we were talking on the phone.”
“Yeah that’s just BJ.”
The dinner went smoothly, Lydia felt bad that the traditional Christmas dinner was ham and Wendy couldn’t have it, but they did make a small turkey for her to eat. Once dinner was over they cleaned up the dishes and had a monstrous amount of cookies for dessert. Lydia didn’t realize how into baking Barbara was until the kitchen tables and counters were covered with what must have been hundreds if not a thousand cookies. They were all starting to get stuffed and tired from the long day, everyone was relaxing on the couch, Lydia and Wendy trying to hide the fact that they were holding hands underneath the blankets when Beetlejuice began to loudly and incorrectly sing Christmas carols. The snow was peacefully falling outside the window, making the evening almost as cheesy as a Christmas card. Everything looked so perfect, and Lydia tried to hard to push away the uncomfortableness she felt brewing within her. She wanted so desperately to be happy, to just feel happy, she should be happy. Everyone around her looks so happy, she is surrounded by family, and friends, and loved ones. She thought this should be enough, she should be satisfied. She halfheartedly laughed whenever BJ started screeching the wrong words to “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” and smiled when he pulled up Wendy from the couch to dance with him and the Maitlands.
After preparing a large plate of cookies and other goodies for Wendy to take home to her family in exchange for the delicious Hanukkah treats they sent with Lydia the two girls were left alone to say goodbye for the night. It was almost the exact same as it was three nights ago when they were celebrating Hanukkah but this time it was Wendy handing Lydia a small wrapped gift. Opening it carefully she smiled gratefully when she opened another small jewelry box to find a bracelet with charms on it signifying inside jokes they had. They spent a good five minutes just reminiscing in their jokes, Lydia’s personal favorite the serotonin molecule from when she was hanging out at Wendy’s house and said she could really go for some serotonin and Wendy went up to go look for some, forgetting what it actually was. Lydia pulled her girlfriend into a loving hug, leaning her head on the crook between Wendy’s neck and shoulder.
“Get a room.” Beetlejuice teased, leaning against the doorway, “Ya know doing this kind of stuff in front of your ex-husband isn’t very becoming Lydia. I just want you to know I’m not the jealous type, I don’t care what you do with Winston-”
“Wendy,” Lydia corrected sarcastically, “One, I’m literally a lesbian. Two you died so technically you’re not my ex-husband I’m your widow. And third, that wedding was a green card thing and YOU KNOW IT!”
Beetlejuice raised his hands up defensively, “I’m joking, I’m joking! You gotta relax kid, I have literally never been interested in you. I’m more interested in Sexy and Babs.”
“Then PLEASE go bother the Maitlands.” Lydia pleaded as she held onto Wendy’s hand while trying to give Beetlejuice a look explaining that she’s trying to have a moment and he’s ruining it. He supposedly got the hint because he went to turn around but not before snapping his fingers and pointing upwards above Lydia and Wendy’s head.
“Looks like mistletoe to me Scarecrow.”
Lydia glanced up and her face tinted pink when she saw the green and red plant hanging above their heads. Wendy snickered, her nose scrunching up like a bunny which Lydia thought was incredibly adorable. She started t stutter out some excuse that they didn’t have to do it, and that Beetlejuice was being an annoying brother figure again, and that mistletoe was stupid in the first place but Wendy was having none of that. She leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips before hugging her goodbye once more and running out to her parents’ car. Lydia stood there with a dumb-happy grin on her face for a solid minute before Beetlejuice reappeared in the room making kissy noises at her. She threw the closest thing within grabbing distance, which unfortunately happened to be one of Delia’s strange rocks. Beetlejuice simply caught it and tossed it around in his hands before telling Lydia to not be so easy to pick on so he doesn’t have to keep bugging her. She rolled her eyes at him again as she walked back into the living room. For the rest of the evening, they sat and watched cheesy Christmas movies and drank hot chocolate, deciding that a new tradition they would adopt would be to guess how much liquor BJ put in the eggnog. Charles took one sip and instantly spit it out it burned of alcohol so much. Beetlejuice tried to sneak some spiked eggnog to Lydia but was stopped almost instantly as literally everyone was watching him and even Lydia refused the absurdly strong drink.
Everyone had gone to bed around eleven at night, and Beetlejuice went...whereever it is Beetlejuice goes when nobody else is around. Lydia was about to head up to her bedroom and edit some of the photos she had taken in order to keep herself distracted from the growing pit of dread in her stomach. She wished everyone a Merry Christmas and was about to go into her room when her father pulled her aside and gestured for her to follow him into his room. She sat down on his one chair while he went to grab something from the closet. He returned with a nicely done gift bag, stuffed with white and glittery tissue paper and the two handles tied up in a neat bow.
“Dad you already got me more than everything I wanted, you really didn’t have to.” She smiled sweetly
He fiddled with his hands, taking in a deep breath, “This isn’t from me.”
“Who’s it from?”
“Your mother. She bought it for you last year before...I don’t know what it is. Remember all those Christmas mornings when I’d have no clue what she got you?” He handed her a card that came with the gift and Lydia stared down shocked to see her mother’s familiar scrawl on the envelope. She always looped her Ls weird, something Lydia had copied into writing her own name, but seeing it again, writing that came from a pen that her mother had held...it was resurfacing all the feelings she had been trying so hard to keep pushed down just for today. She kept repeating to herself in her mind that she was fine, she was okay, her mom was gone, there was nothing she could do about it, don’t cry it’s Christmas, don’t ruin everyone else’s good time, don’t don’t don’t.
She curled her fists into her hair, almost dropping the gift bag onto the floor. Charles pulled Lydia into a hug and everything she had been holding in came flooding out. She started sobbing against her father’s chest, her tiny body shaking with such violence that Charles gripped onto her tighter in an attempt to calm her. She wanted to stop, she wanted to stop crying and just go back to how it had been during the day but she couldn’t help herself. She missed her mother. She missed her mother so much, and it wasn’t fair that she couldn’t see her again. She’d never have another Christmas, or New Years, or Halloween with her. Never. She knew she was soaking her father’s shirt with her tears but he didn’t move away, he just stroked her hair, and told it that it was okay.
“It’s not okay dad. It’s not okay, it’s not ever going to be okay. She’s dead, she’s never coming back, and this is the last present she ever got me. I tried really hard, I tried really hard to be okay today. Everyone else is so fucking happy and I didn’t want to ruin it for everyone else. I screwed it all up, I’m ruining your day, you tried to do this really nice and sweet thing for me and I’m a goddamn mess!” She gasped out between her hiccuping-sobs
“Lydia, Lydia sweetheart it’s okay! You’re not ruining anybody’s Christmas. I’m so sorry you felt like you had to keep this all from us because you thought it would upset us. Honey, I’ve been missing her a lot today too. I was holed up in my office all last night flipping through old photo albums of our Christmases wishing we had gotten just one more. That’s when I remembered this present. I packed it away last year, I thought it would be too hard for you back then but I shouldn’t have hidden it from you.”
Lydia sniffled a little, still clutching the present in her hands unsure if she was ready to see what was inside. Lydia set the present down gently on the floor, grabbed her father’s hand and slumped down on his bed. She knew she was getting too big for this, but she really just wanted to be close to someone right now. He laid on his back and she rested her head on his stomach while he gently rubbed the back of her shirt. She was still crying, “I feel so broken. It’s supposed to be the happiest time of the year and the whole month I’ve been a trainwreck with one crisis after another”
“It’s okay for it to not be “the most wonderful time of the year.” a lot of people have struggles around Christmas and this is going to be one of yours. I wish it didn’t have to be, I want so badly for her to still be here with you but we can’t rewind the clock. You don’t have to pretend you’re alright though, it is okay for you to be sad, for you to miss her. We can talk about her, we can still keep her alive in our traditions and everything else.”
She nodded her head, “I know it probably sounds stupid but I got her a present, I know she can’t open it but I got it for her because I couldn’t bring myself not to.”
“It’s not stupid at all honey. It’s incredibly sweet, you should have put in under the tree this morning.”
“Why? There’s nobody to open it.”
“I think it would have made you feel a lot better,” he tried to explain, “I think you would have not been holding all this in all day.”
Lydia thought about it, wondering if all of this could have been avoided if she just talked about it. She was always on her dad’s case for never wanting to talk about things but here she was hiding her feelings from her family. She did it all the time, now that she thought about it. Ever since she moved to Connecticut she had been so preoccupied trying to not ruin the happiness everyone was supposedly experiencing that she just buried down her own problems, only talking about them when they boiled over and she had a breakdown. She laid with her father in a peaceful silence for a few minutes before she sat up and crawled over to where the present was laying. She debated opening it alone but she knew whatever it was it was going to make her cry, she didn’t want to be alone anymore.
She undid the ribbon and slowly removed the tissue paper. She held the gift in her hands, mesmerized by the object in her hands. It was a snowglobe. When she first pulled it out of the bag she was kind of confused, she had never collected snowglobes but when she turned it around she saw that inside the glass was two photographs of their family. One when Lydia was just a baby, the other a photo they had taken just a few weeks before Emily had died. She grazed her thumb over the glass and showed it to her father who smiled bittersweetly at the gift. She noticed there was a turn-key on the bottom and when she wound it up she couldn’t help but smile when it started to play that song her mother always sang when they were cleaning up. It was strange to hear “Jump in the Line” in a music box tune. She knew there were tears in her eyes but they weren’t as urgent feeling as the ones from just a few minutes ago. It felt alright to cry, she wasn’t exactly sad but she wasn’t happy. It was strange.
She and her father sat on the bed listening to the snowglobe play it’s tune over and over again while looking at old photos from Christmas’s of long ago and not so long ago. Her dad must have texted Delia because she never came into the bedroom that night, she felt bad about it especially because she was fifteen years old now, she shouldn’t need to fall asleep in her daddy’s room but he assured her that Delia completely understood. She snuggled under his blankets, he kissed her goodnight on her forehead. It did not take long for her dad to fall asleep, his loud snoring quickly filling the room but Lydia didn’t mind. For the first time all day she didn’t have this crippling tension building up in her body, she was relaxed and she knew that her father was right. It was okay if it wasn’t the most wonderful time of the year.
#lydia deetz#delia deetz#adam maitland#barbara maitland#charles deetz#lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth#presley ryan#sophia anne caruso#dana steingold#leslie kritzer#kerry butler#rob mcclure#alex brightman#beetlejuice#incorrect beetlejuice quotes#beetlegeuse#beetlejuice the musical#beetlejuice fanfic#beetlejuice fanfiction
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Okay Now Do The Rest
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
Bright but argumentative. I was never afraid of pointing out things I didn’t feel were fair hfhddh
When we were learning numbers kids would often write 91 for nineteen, just flip them, y’know, and Ms. Potter yelled at the class for it. Baby Generiq went into it about how it was an understandable mix up because you do say the number first. In twenty-three you write the two first, so in nineteen it’s easy to assume you would write the nine first.
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
Tired.
8. movies or tv shows?
TV shows. Every book adaptation should also be a series not a movie. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
9. favorite smell in the summer?
Honeysuckle and sunshine
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
Floor hockey! My friend and I used to be brutal and swing at each other’s shins going after the ball. Also it was reminiscent of golf, which I competed in.
12. name of your favorite playlist?
I have an untitled playlist I cycle my current music in and out of, but Newton’s Third Law is my favorite named one!
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
I don’t- I guess the yellow smarties. Don’t come for me they taste like lemonade.
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
I assume this means assigned book and not the reports we got to pick for ourselves. Ah, Night was good. Lord of the Flies was fine but way overhyped. Again, don’t come for me.
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
If I can tuck my legs into the chair I am sitting in that is ideal!
18. ideal weather?
When you know it is going to rain and you get to stay home
19. sleeping position? (Skipped on accident)
I reeeally like pressure, so either against something or on my stomach.
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
Phone notes and a notebook! Sometimes a blank document but I always find it strangely intimidating
21. obsession from childhood?
Warrior Cats, Percy Jackson, and Maximum Ride were my big three!
22. role model?
Aa I try to straw from people I want to copy, but there are talents I look up to. Rachel Chavkin is a brilliant director, and there are so many artists and authors I look up to and who inspire me.
24. favorite crystal?
Obsidian because it’s black like my hea- I’m kidding, I do love obsidian, but it’s Rose Quartz because it’s a very very pretty, soft pink and makes me happy.
25. first song you remember hearing?
The mobile above my crib played Imagine by John Lennon. My childhood room was themed after it as well!
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
Swim or sit in the sunshine. Ben and I usually go driving with the top down as well.
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
Walking through fresh snow is amazing, so are snowball fights and building snowmen.
28. five songs to describe you?
Oh fuck yes
Hurricane - Hamilton
The Reckless and the Brave - All Time Low
Almost There - The Princess and the Frog
All This and Heaven Too - Florence + the Machine
Facade - Jekyll and Hyde: A Gothic Musical Thriller
30. places that you find sacred?
I don’t typically find places sacred, but certain headspaces are very special to me, and time spent with loved ones means more than enough to be considered sacred.
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
A black blazer with a white button-down and a skirt.
32. top five favorite vines?
I am in Missouri (misery)
I love you, Bitch
I want a Church girl
Obama’s “I know because I won both of them”
I won’t hesitate, Bitch!
33. most used phrase in your phone?
“No worries”
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
That fucking PFI bandana boot sale I stg
35. average time you fall asleep?
Somewhere between 9:00 and three in the morning
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
Some girl doing bunny ears on her friend. I don’t remember what the caption was
38. lemonade or tea?
Both. Mixed together. It’s called an Arnold Palmer and it is my favorite drink
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
Lemon cake!
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
We duck taped out principal to the wall once. Also some kid broke their tray over another kid’s head at lunch one time.
41. last person you texted?
The family group chat, though Beau if Discord counts
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
I wear a lot of leggings so jacket pockets!
44. favorite scent for soap?
We had some Lily of the Valley hand soap that was amazing
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
Fantasy, I think! I’ve never done super heavy into the other two. Though I definitely don’t want to ignore sci-fi because two of my favorite stories are a little science-fiction-y
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
A t-shirt and shorts
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
A banana. Generally accepted as a fruit and kind of just rolls with it, but is actually a berry
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
I fucking hate Hamilton-ing on main, but
“And when my prayers to god were met with indifference, I picked up a pen, I wrote my own deliverance!”
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
That changes every time Beau and I play HetaOni together, but I have fucking lost it for at least five minutes the last two sessions.
51. current stresses?
I dunno, man, life? My hair could use a wash
52. favorite font?
Covered by your Grace and I’m a big Spectral baby. These are both google docs! I don’t know if that makes a difference.
54. what did you learn from your first job?
Patience is important when teaching material, but never be afraid to find another approach better suited to the person you’re tutoring.
55. favorite fairy tale?
Robin Hood!
56. favorite tradition?
My family does homemade Springfield cashew chicken for Christmas!
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
Uhh lots of self-acceptance shit no one really wants to read
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
I can pop the joint at the center of my foot
That’s all
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
I sort of like my role as mom friend, so maybe I could keep that role in a sort of action-based anime that followed a group of friends
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
“I am not the protégé to waste your time on; I'm complete!” Jekyll and Hyde: GMT
62. seven characters you relate to?
Haha
Lisa Carew - Jekyll and Hyde: GMT
Japan - Hetalia/Oni
Garnett - Steven Universe
Hfhddh that’s all I can say that aren’t my own characters
63. five songs that would play in your club?
I Don’t Like Clubs, but
Overwhelmed - Royal + The Serpent
Backseat Serenade - All Time Low
Go Big or Go Home - American Authors
The Nights - Avicii
Tempo - Lizzo
64. favorite website from your childhood?
Webkinz!
65. any permanent scars?
Yep - One from a bad bike wreck. My body rejected the dissolvable stitches so it’s a lot bigger than it was supposed to be
66. favorite flower(s)?
Lily of the Valley, daisies, Day Lilies, and Dandelions! I also love honeysuckles but I don’t know if those count.
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
Accidentally drank rancid milk once!
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? (Haha, nice)
The fastest, free way to fill up your potions on Wizard101 is to play Potion Motion to level three.
70. left or right handed?
Right handed
71. least favorite pattern?
On myself, animal print
72. worst subject?
I’ve never been intuitively good at History, I do think it’s interesting though.
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
I don’t like to take it until I can’t move without it.
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
Kindergarten? I had mono and then scarlet fever twice, so my baby teeth were pretty much ruined and they all fell out very fast.
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
Curly fries!
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
Kalanchoe’s, it literally Window’s Thrill. These babies are fairly temperamental outside and love partial sun, so the window is the perfect spot for them. And! If you keep them happy! They’ll bloom! My personal favorite is the pink bloom.
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
What’s wrong with coffee from a gas station? Also I don’t like seafood.
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
Earth tones!
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
Lightning bugs
82. pc or console?
PC!
84. podcasts or talk radio?
Podcasts - talk radios actually tend to get under my skin for n o reason
84. barbie or polly pocket?
Barbie, but let it be known I was brutal with mine. We did human sacrifices and the like.
85. fairy tales or mythology?
Mythology!
86. cookies or cupcakes?
Cookies, but I’m a slut for whipped frosting
87. your greatest fear?
Losing control!
88. your greatest wish?
A life beyond where I am now. Haha Stop chasing new down the hallway you’re so sexy haha
90. luckiest mistake?
Logged into Omegle in like 2015 and some rando asked me to join their Doctor Who roleplay. Luckiest moment of my gd life.
91. boxes or bags?
Bags! They’re easier to store
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
Sunlight! But in the late afternoon when everything is bathed in orange.
93. nicknames?
Mom is the most prevalent!
94. favorite season?
Fall into winter. Peak leaf crunch!
95. favorite app on your phone?
Discord or Notes
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Mr Perfect // slow burn
Part II
Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader
Summary: Steve Harrington was the coolest guy at school and now he’s working with you at the rental store. Very complicated story about complicated feelings.
Warning: Language
A/N: That chapter is about what happened in the past. The reason why don’t you like Steve so much. It’s longer than the previous one and with Steve from s1.
“It was Lorie...she was my best friend” You were lying on your bed at 11pm talking with Robin on the phone. It was a warm summer night and the window in your room was open.
“Wait. Lorie? Lorie the slut?” Lorie and her face blew up in your mind. “Sorry! ...I didn’t mean to” Of course she didn’t. But it was the first thought in people’s mind when they heard her name.
“You know she was different before they’d started dating” And the wave of memories hit you. All those moments got alive in your head and you just let them take over your mind.
It was three years ago and you were both inexperienced and naive… well, Lorie was. You remember that day when she ran into you in the morning with a big smile on her face, holding a small piece of paper. She leaned on the wall next to you showing it so you can see what was written there. ‘Party at 10 pm. I`ll be waiting for you. Steve H’
“So? What do you think?” That smile actually was a bit annoying and they way she looked at you like it was Christmas. She did shine.
“What do I think?” You kept looking for your books in the school locker. You didn`t want to go to the party cause it wasn`t really your thing.
“STEVE HARRINGTON asked me to come to his party, you silly girl! I think she likes me. He`s been smiling at me for the whole week during our English classes” Her dreaming face were more annoying.
“I don`t think that’s a good idea” You closed your locker and headed to your classroom.
“Why? THE KING STEVE asked me out. Can you even hear me?”
“I don`t think he is a good guy, Lorie. Honestly, why do they call him The King?” You stopped and looked into her eye, praying for some common sense.
“Please~ We`ve been best friend since the middle school. I`ve never let you down and it is just for one night, Y/N. Do me a favor, pleeeeease?” She grabbed your hand and squeezed it with puppy eyes.
“Just for one night” It wasn`t just for one night. That party cost you two weeks and your friendship.
“Fine” You sighed. “Just for tonight I`ll be a good friend” She hugged you and kissed your cheek. You couldn`t stand Lorie but sometimes she was adorable. She was a good friend who protected and cherished you. But she also was very selfish.
That night you first time saw Steve Harrington so close. The house was full with people and alcohol and Lorie looked stunning. She always knew how to look desired. You were standing in the living room near the table with punch. Lorie had already drunk two cups cause she was freaking nervous. Steve came to her and kissed her hand. And you suddenly got it, he was cool. In his black jacket and dark glasses with his perfect hair, he was cool and not just cool. He was the coolest guy at school that’s why they called him The King. He said something sweet to Lorie and she blushed. He didn`t see you. You was invisible for him, not as shiny as Lorie was. Steve pulled her into the dancing crowd and she apologetically smiled to you. Of course, she left you. That’s why she came here. For a half an hour you were eating snacks and drinking punch and waiting for your friend. You asked some guy where the bathroom is but he offered to show you Paradise instead. Jesus. You just wanted to pee. You were walking past the stairs and you saw Laurie with Steve coming up.
“Lorie!” She turned around. She was a little bit drunk so was Steve. There was annoyance in her face when she saw you.
“What?”
“We need to talk. NOW” She rolled her eyes and whispered something to Steve who went upstairs. “What are you doing, Lorie?”
“I`m having fun, Y/N” You took her hand and got close to her. “Lorie, you don`t want to do it. Not drunk in his parents room”
“You don`t know a shit. Just leave me here. Go home. Don`t ruin my night” She pulled you away. Her lips were red because of kissing and her hair was a mess. “C`mon. Go, Y/N. You are too boring for this party”
“I`m here because of you, remember?” You were trying to stay calm but it was impossible.
“Well, I don`t need you now” You looked in her cold eyes one more time and left.
They’d been dating for a whole week. The week full of night calls and tears and sex. Everybody at school knew Lorie was “spending time” with Steve Harrington but not like his girlfriend. More like a friend with benefits but not a friend...
On Monday you found Lorie crying in a bathroom at school. Apparently, Lorie though their relationship were special but Steve didn`t. He alway asked her to leave his house next morning after they did it cause his parents shouldn’t know about her. When he stopped answering her calls she decided to visit him. He was hanging out with Tommy H. and Carol near the pool. He asked her to leave but Lorie refused and he said he don`t want to see her anymore. She was broken. You pulled her up from the bathroom floor, washed her face and told her she should tell him everything she thinks about him. So, after classes she caught him up near the school with his friends and stopped him. You tried to tell her that was a bad idea and they need more private place but she was adamant.
“Steve, we need to talk!” Lorie`s throat was dry because of tears and she could hardly speak.
“We have nothing to talk about, Lorie. I told you we can`t be together. It’s over” He was leaning on the hood of the car, not even noticing you near Lorie.
“ Why did you leave me? What did I do wrong?” She was almost crying.
“He left you because you are slut” said Tommy H. and looked at her with a wry smile. Carol giggled and Steve just closed his eyes in annoyance. You were numb. You just couldn`t move. You saw her standing there in front of him with a shocked face.
“What!?”
“Aw, don`t play an innocent girl here. You were the one who almost ate his face on the party. And then you grabbed his hand and asked him to show you his bed room” said Carol looking at Lorie with shame and disgust. “Ah, Steve, you are the king! More, Steve, more! And then you came every time he asked you to do it”
“You did what?” You were shocked and you let this question slip.
“You told them!” Lorie screamed and threw his bag at him. Tears started covering her face and you saw fire in her eyes. And it woke up her pride. She wiped her face with a sleeve and looked into his eyes. “You know what, fuck you, Harrington”
“You already did” He finally spoke. “And it wasn`t that pleasant. You need to improve your technique”
She showed him her middle finger and left. You grabbed her bag from the ground and followed her. You almost reached her as Lorie turned round with an angry face.
“Lorie… why did you do that?” You spoke quietly.
“Because I wanted to” She stepped closer to you looking in the eyes. “ And stop giving me that look”
“What look?”
“Like I did something wrong”
“But you-“
“No. Stop it! You are always right, yeah? You always right! Don`t you dare judge me, Y/S/N” She pointed her index finger at you.
“ You were the one who told me Jane Bree is a whore because she slept with Rick after their third date! You even wrote it on her desk! You slept with Steve before any date. And then you did it every time he asked you. Like you are his toy. And know he threw you away” You knew it was the end. You knew she did bad things and she just used you but you were catching on your memories. You just couldn’t remember when everything started getting worse and worse. When did she become jealous and selfish and needy? She slapped you. Hard.
“Don`t. You. Dare. Judge. Me.” She cried again. You threw her bag on the ground and walked past her. You cried too. You felt like you were her toy.
On Tuesday everybody knew she slept with Tommy H. to get back at Steve. It was also the biggest quarrel between Tommy and Carol but after that their relationship had become unbreakable. Then she hung out with Steve`s childhood friend Kyle. And then she became Lorie the slut.
“That’s why I don’t wanna have anything on common with Steve Harrington” It was 1am by the time you’d finished your story.
“Holy shit” That was the only thing Robin told you that night but it was enough. She listened to you without interrupting and with interest. It was enough. You felt relief.
Thanks everybody for support :3
@sergeantjbbarnes-archive-blog
@somethingdawn
@christinawxxx
@hearteyesmotherclucker
@avadakedavrabitxh
@choconat-chip
@softtfinn
@tootimetootime7
@sydzygy
@the-pixie-with-seven-faces
#steve#steve harrington#steve x reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington imagine#imagine steve harrington#imagine#imagine steve#steve harrington x y/n#stranger things#imagine stranger things#stranger thing imagine#slow burn#slowburn#like very slow burn
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| connecting | j.jh
pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader
genre: fluff
a/n: i was really excited to write this since it was inspired by my fave disney movie “tangled” ! hope you enjoy reading ^^ still thinking if there should be a part two(?) for this. let me know!! :D
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the sun rose just in time at the moment you opened your eyes. a new morning, a new day, and a new hope. shockingly though, the alarm clock did not do its job. that meant you had to place new ones if it was the batteries. the smell of bacon made you up on your toes, leading you downstairs to the garden.
on most days and most often, you stayed at the tree house your uncle had built. it kind of became your permanent room rather than the one you had at the actual house. you lived at the countryside. not exactly though. when you moved houses, it partially felt like it was a forest, fresh air and greenery.
oh the sound of the raw meat sizzling was making you drool as you saw your mother— stepmother, to be precise, smiling as she told you to sit with her. “only bacon would make you step out of that tree house.”
“ah well, it’s my little paradise after all.” you eyed her with a grin on your face. your stepmother raised you as her own since your birth parents, didn’t really know how to care for an infant. your father was blind and needed assistance; and your mother cared for you a little while but eventually left for another man. so your stepmother came into the picture at the time before you even turned one. “i get to do things i want without being disturbed.”
“that’s alright. an artist like you need space and quiet. how many canvases have you painted on?” she asked as she plated your meal, getting the meat from the grill.
you took a bite almost immediately from the serving tong. a joking but soft scoff escaped from your mother’s lips. “mom, there’s too many that i lost count. but remember the huge boxes you got for me on christmas? yeah one of those are close to be full of em’.”
“oh wow, you have to show me your masterpieces.” she clapped her hands together. she checked her watch, only to jump slightly at the time. “i’ll be late for the flight.”
“you’re leaving, mom?” you asked, a tiny complain from you made her giggle.
“it’s a business trip again, sweetie. i’ll be back in four days.” she cooed you with a tight hug.
“but you’ll miss my birthday.” you sighed, placing the plate down onto the wooden table.
“i’ll make it up to you when i get back, alright?” she pecked your forehead before leaving you. “see you in three days. love you my princess.”
hardworking as she always was, your stepmother would often go overseas for meetings since she worked with a company that required a translator. and apparently she was ranked at the top category, so the demand for her was quite high.
“love you too mom!” you yelled back.
you finished your meal and headed back to the tree house to continue with painting the canvases. the paintings you started, were something you hoped your father could be able to admire. he never got to see the world, the people, the beauty, and you.
the childhood you had was something you remembered; still so fresh, as if it was yesterday. the house that was passed on from your father’s side ultimately became a shelter of nightmare. the word cancer was foreign to the teen you, definitely out of your vocabulary. you needed explanation as to why your father had gotten it, and why he had to leave the earth early. it had been three years after all.
not long since you began to paint almost half way onto the third canvas, the radio you were listening to blasted the playlist with your favorite boy group; that alone kept you hyped up, nearly knocking down several acrylic paint bottles over. the music moved your toes, then your legs, eventually your whole body. even your hair swayed in motion, as if the wind had blown it.
“i just wish i could get to see them live.” you sighed, colors you puto onto the canvas blended with your emotions. “ugh, i’m so senti.” (sentimental). the clock showed quarter to four, it already had been hours since mother left.
the once upbeat vibe came to a halt when you heard a couple of boys yelling with bicycle bells ringing. it also seemed like one was being chased too. you scoffed as you went to take a peek off of the window. they ruined your moment of jamming. the yells were increasing when the half of your body was out of the window. you saw a couple of figures at the far distance of your front yard.
a ruffle from the bush that was near your tree house gave a sound of light crash. a bell rang from it too. was it a bicycle? as you further your body look at the bush on the just on the left side of the tree house, your sight suddenly came to a dim.
your body met with a boy with pink hair. as your eyes kept closed, bracing yourself for the impact, you knew his body slammed into yours and for sure you heard his honey-like voice. “nghh agh!” he gasped as his body was on top of yours, but your head rested on something you assumed it was his hands.
the light from the sun made you open your eyes. the pink haired boy smiled sheepishly and the first you noticed was his ears.
“can you get off me?” you asked sternly.
“oh my g- i’m so sorry!” he stood up as he dusted his clothes. the yells from the boys grew louder, making the pink haired boy flinch at their presence. you took a peek at the front yard, around four boys on their bikes, looking for someone. “ugh man, they chased me until here?” he took a peek as well and hissed at what he saw, before sitting back down by the bottom of the window.
“you know i could report you for trespassing.” you stood up, pointing your paintbrush at him.
he had his hands up in the air as if he was caught by the police. “hold up now i don’t want my shirt to be dirtied.” he said. “i’ll explain later but is it okay if i hide here for a while, maybe for tonight too?” he asked as his eyes trailed off.
you wanted to refuse but girl, his dimples showed and to be honest, you thought guys with dimples were the most sweetest. how could you resist him? especially as of right now, he was smiling at you, clearly embarrassed. but after all, he was a stranger and interrupted your jam session. “i don’t normally allow strangers here, let alone you.” you furrowed your brows.
“ah c’mon! with a face like this?” he suddenly pouted— no, was that a smoulder? gross. “look, i’m having a rough day today and i really need a breather-”
“then i think a breather for you would be outside?” you pushed him to the window, his footsteps hit the wooden floor with such impact at the force he received.
“hey hey hey! watch it!” he yelled with his palms touching the edge of the window. “do you want me to die?!”
“i don’t see why not?” your attempt to push him stopped as the radio continued to play the playlist you were listening earlier. “ooh yay!” you hopped back to your paintings.
the pink haired boy eyed you with confusion. “girls have such weird mood swings.” he walked up to you, mouthing the lyrics to the song.
“you know them??” you turned around to the boy. “man i love them!” you felt yourself heating up realising the boy still climbed your tree house. “i- i like them..” you cleared your throat.
“i can tell.” he laughed at you.
“anyway, you have to leave.” you pushed the boy to the door. not the window this time.
“please, can i stay here for tonight? i can’t have my buds chasing me like i’m a prey.” he sighed. his tone made you wonder how a pretty boy like him could utter such cute tantrums.
he sat down at the table by the door, taking a sip from your cup. you crossed your arms at how he felt so homey immediately after invading someone’s property. “why were you being chased?” you questioned with curiosity. the boy seemed desperate to hide and you had to hear him reason out.
“i skipped rehearsal yesterday.. and today. told them i wanted a break because we’ve been practicing non-stop.” he walked to your hanging cradle chair and sat on it. an long exhale escaped from him. you eyed him from head to toe. his whole body worn out with slight shakes.
“i’ll let you stay..” you said, the boy’s eyes beamed with life.
“yes! haha! thank you so much!” he placed his hands at the back of his head.
“..with one condition.” you continued.
“anything for you, miss..?” he now stood up and walked up to the window where he had entered earlier.
“y/n. my name’s y/n.” you said, blending the colors for the last time before actually stopping for the day.
“y/n.. i’m yoonoh.” his voice trailed off but with a tone of amusement. “what’s your condition then?
the amphitheatre at the distance’s horizon caught your eye as you looked at the view. you remembered your mother’s words: “only bacon would make you step out of that tree house.” funny fact though, food was the only way to make you go out of your residence’s area. as you made up your mind, your sigh caught his attention. “see that park with that shade thing flying above it?” you asked.
the boy turned to the direction you had told him. he squinted for a clearer and distinct view, where it shortly came into his sight. “yeah, the amphitheatre. what about it?”
“i want you to bring me there.” you smiled, making yoonoh do the same. his response was a tilt of a head. you exhaled before continuing. “tomorrow evening, that ampitheatre will light up in colors. it does that every year. i want to see it in person, like how it’s special.”
“it does, yeah. you haven’t been to the city?” yoonoh asked, his arms crossed.
“never. i’ve haven’t seen the city since i moved here and when i was a wee baby. more of i didn’t want to because i tend to limit myself from seeing the world.” you opened up to him as you tidied your art supplies.
“why is that? there’s more to see out there! i can tour you if you like.” his dimples showed again.
your body hesitated for a while, lips tried to find words to answer him. “my father was blind. he never got to see the world’s beauty, so i thought i’d do the same, y’know, experience things he did and understand him. now that he’s passed, maybe there’s benefit from a different point of view. my hearing got sensitive, in a good way.”
yoonoh stayed silent, respecting your words. he didn’t want you to stay caged in here any longer. “coming from someone who hasn’t seen outside beauty, you’ve got great imaginations.” he pointed to the wall of canvases. “i’ll bring you to the amphitheatre, first thing in the morning.”
to think that you would step foot to the lands of the city made your stomach churn. the whole experience would be something new. yoonoh sat back at the hanged cradle chair, taking several selfies at different angles, and there was no signs of stopping any sooner. you let him be, he looked tired anyway. his sweats slid down from the temples, and as he wiped them, he caught you looking at him. “i know i’m handsome.” he said. cheeky fella’, but he ain’t lying.
luckily though, the tree house had an extra room besides the one you both were in now. your uncle had included it in the design if you had friends over. yoonoh could stay there even if it was a little cramped. he wouldn’t complain, would he? the day seemed to end quickly; with three completed paintings and endless conversations with your ‘new-found friend’? wait you weren’t there yet. he was someone you had met accidentally.
maybe sometimes accidents can lead to something new.
#jung jaehyun#nct 127#jung yoonoh#nct#nct jaehyun#jaehyun#jaehyun nct#jaehyun au#jaehyun writings#jaehyun scenarios#nct writings#nct scenarios#jaehyun oneshot
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Growing up Christmas was... everything. I don’t mean that in a literal sense, but more so in the way you’d hear a sorority girl yelling to her friend. “oh my god that is EVERYTHING!” As stupid as that might sound, I have no other word to describe it. Maybe in another life my mom was Mrs. Claus - it would make a LOT of sense.
Anyway, Christmas was really special at my house. Christmas music started in November, and not in the occasional sense. My mom had countless Christmas albums and they were all on repeat until well after Christmas. Our house was decorated completely by December first. Huge plastic figurines, handmade Christmas banners complete with lights, a huge wooden workshop bigger than our pool shed filled with Santa’s workshop and model trains, and, of course, a huge sleigh with reindeer and all draped across our driveway - suspended above the trucks. Inside our house looked like elves had come in and just thrown up Christmas all over. It was beautiful, it was festive, it was home. Even when the sleigh would come crashing down on the Suburban every. single. year and scare the crap out of me while I slept - it was perfect. Wrapping presents with my mom, and her making sure they were perfect; so many cookies we would give them out to neighbors, teachers, city workers. How the tree could have nothing but Hallmark ornaments on it - no matter how long we spent decorating perfect ornaments in school. It was our tradition and I loved it.
When my mom died, Christmas died. Not because I wanted it to, but because it was too hard for my grandma to even put up a tree. She couldn’t look at that jolly old fat man without tears filling her eyes. It took me years to finally understand that for her it wasn’t about keeping the memory alive or ruining Christmas for me - it was that the memory was just too painful to replicate. When the babies came, she tried. We got a small pop up tree. We didn’t decorate it, but at least it was up with her “let it snow” tree skirt. When Breana got older, she started hiring a Santa Clause to come and visit on Christmas Eve. I was 25 years old when I finally figured it out. The first Christmas without grandma. I could barely put up my tree. I remember my friends forcing me to do it and how utterly thankful I was after to see the tree every morning - my moms ornaments all over it, my grandmas tree skirt at the bottom, and her little snowman sitting on the top threatening daily to fall to the ground. This year - nothing was the same.
My tree wasn’t up by December 1st. The ornament box is currently still sitting beside it, the Hallmark boxes inside still filled with their ornaments. I couldn’t do it. The lights on my balcony have been turned on maybe three times. I changed the snowflake on my advent calendar from 25 days to 5 days until Christmas. I didn’t buy anyone gifts until yesterday, and all I’ve gotten is my aunt and uncle, Jackie, Ben, and Erin. I never put Harley’s Christmas bandana on her, I didn’t take her to see Santa. I haven’t driven around to look at lights, nor have I bought one single decoration - not even a 2019 Hallmark ornament. Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas, even when I’m sitting outside looking at leftover snow on the ground, and I’m shivering so hard I can barely type. Christmas feels lonely. It feels incomplete.
I’ve lost so much this year, but I’ve gained even more. (Why do I always do that? Refuse to let myself feel the pain because I’m also surrounded by so many things I’ve spent my whole life working my ass off for. It’s okay to feel it Ang, it’s okay.) But still, I’m sitting here feeling kind of lost. Surrounded by friends who love me, family that would actually kill someone for me, and animals who make my day so much brighter, and yet I feel like I’m sitting in an empty room.
I cling to these memories, I think, because they’re the ones that never hurt. My childhood was filled to the brim with loss and pain that 27 year old me still can’t even come to terms with, to the point that I cannot let go of the perfection that was the holidays. All the pain stood still. My dad wasn’t gone - my step dad was there to fill that role. My mom wasn’t sick - she was, but her face at Christmas made it all disappear. There was no sitting on the steps - waiting, waiting, waiting, hoping, waiting - hoping that my dad would show up to see us on Christmas Day. We always spent Christmas with mom. There was no distant sound of my mom puking her guts up from another round of chemo because Christmas movies drowned out the sound. There was no eerie silence of my sister and I sitting home alone wondering if mom would come home from the hospital this time - we were too busy running around the house singing, “la la la it’s Dominic the donkey, la la la the Italian Christmas Donkey!” or any of the Chimpunks’ greatest Christmas hits. There was nothing but love, happiness - we were actually able to be kids.
The holidays break my fragile heart. Now, all I can do is hope that someday it’ll all feel okay again.
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