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#wip: kon and jon and brother issues
suzukiblu · 5 months
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WIP excerpt from the one where Clark forgot to introduce Kon and Jon.
Kon doesn't even know how to make a connection with Jon. Every time he's tried to talk to the kid, it's been weird and stilted and awkward, never mind how the kid opens up like a flower beaming up at the sun whenever it's anybody else he's talking to. He's adorable and sweet and friendly and just so fucking nice right up until Kon says "hey", at which point it's all one-word answers and unhappy mutters and quick excuses to get out of the room. 
The kid doesn't even call him "Kon". It's always, always "Conner". 
Kon doesn't know why it bothers him so much. He was never a twelve year-old with a loving family and amazing parents and a near-idyllic childhood or whatever, so like . . . what would they even talk about, anyway? They have absolutely nothing in common, aside from being the only fully successful Kryptonian-human hybrids in possibly the entire fucking universe, considering Match's (fucking terrifying) degeneration the past few years. Like–that's it. That's all they've got. A genetic similarity, when Kon already knows just how damn little genetic similarities mean. 
And Jon exists because Clark loves Lois, while Kon only exists because Lex hates Superman. So like . . . yeah. Those are two very different origins, aren't they. 
Jon's never going to like him. 
Meanwhile, Kon would literally fucking die for this kid. Like, Jon is just–he's so good. He's all bright sunlight and eager optimism and bold determination, and there is not a single damn grenade that Kon wouldn't throw himself on for him. 
Admittedly, fine, Kon is grenade-proof and also would literally fucking die for a lot of people. Fully-committed willingness to die for somebody is not any kind of an outlier in his personality and never has been. Just . . . the rest of those people can at least make fucking small talk with him. Lex has more to say to him than Jon does. Clark has more to say to him than Jon does.
Kon actually can't think of anyone in his life who wants less to do with him than Jon does. There are literal supervillains in his life with more emotional investment in him. Multiple ones!
Jesus, what a thought. 
He loves this kid so much. When Jon gets excited about something that he thinks is cool, Kon's chest gets tight and warm. When Jon's upset or in a bad mood, Kon can't concentrate on anything except how bad he wants to fix it for him. When Jon's in trouble or needs help or just wants something–
He knows the kid's heartbeat like it's his fucking own. 
Kon digs his fingers into Tim's pillow and does his damnedest to just be normal about this. To just deal with this. 
He will, he knows. He always does, doesn't he? Every time he looks at someone else and feels something that they don't feel for him, he deals. He deals with the amicable and uncrossable distance that Clark keeps between them and Kara's polite disinterest in his existence and Tim having a boyfriend and Match being an asshole and Lex being Lex and whatever else. He can deal with Jon, too. 
Not like he has another choice. 
When has he ever? Tana didn't want him like he wanted her. Knockout didn't care about him like he cared about her. Rex took advantage of him and Roxy was more invested in the fact that he didn't want to kiss her than in just being his friend and he hasn't heard from anyone who ran off with Cadmus since–
Kon shuts down his brain. It's not helping right now. Which, well–when does it ever, really?
He wonders if maybe he shouldn't have come back. Maybe he should've just stayed gone. Stayed forgotten. Stayed . . . away. 
Stayed out of the way. 
He wonders if maybe he should leave on purpose. 
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suzukiblu · 7 months
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Crash
Kon goes to no-metas-allowed Gotham without even shooting Tim a text first, much less asking fucking Batman for permission, and breaks into Tim's boat with a quick tap of TTK to the lock. He probably sets off a security alarm or seven, but he really doesn't give a fuck about that right now. He just waves in the vague direction of the nearest camera he knows about and makes the "all clear" hand signal so Tim will know there's not a crisis happening and won't interrupt date night with his (cute and funny and clearly better than Kon) civilian boyfriend for this.
Then he beelines for the back of the boat with his very-much-happening crisis and buries himself in Tim's bed and sobs in absolute silence, because fuck forbid Clark hears him.
He cries for an embarrassingly long time, considering that the thing he's crying over is the fact that Jon, this kid he barely knows and barely ever even sees, doesn't like him to the point that he thinks people thinking they're any kind of related is annoying.
That's pretty pathetic.
For one thing, Kon was perfectly aware that Jon didn't like him. It's not news. Like, there's no reason that he would. He didn't even meet the kid until . . . embarrassingly late into his existence, actually. Like, he didn't meet him until after Hawaii. Until after Cadmus. After Metropolis.
Kon is pretty sure it's still never occurred to Clark that his stupid clone had never actually met his kid until well after he'd already dumped said stupid clone on Ma and Pa. Like, Clark hadn't even introduced them. Jon had just shown up with Clark and Lois for some random Sunday dinner a few weeks into Kon crashing at the farm and everyone there had acted like Kon just . . . knew him. Like that was just a thing.
Kon had known that Jon existed, obviously. Like, he hadn't been that stupid. He'd just never met him.
He'd never met him, and Clark hadn't considered that fact important enough to even, like . . . register. It hadn't mattered to him, that Kon hadn't met his kid. That his kid hadn't met Kon.
Why would it have, right?
Kon's not someone that it would matter for Jon to meet.
Or that Jon would care about meeting.
Clearly.
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suzukiblu · 7 months
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Some Superfam for @plotbunny-bundle, served with a side of angst and doom. Bon appétit. ❤️
"You're the closest thing I have to a brother," Jon says, simple and earnest and so, so sincere, and Kon wants to throw up.
"I have brothers. They are not worth the emotional investment," Damian retorts irritably, since he's the person who Jon just said that to. 
"Easy for you to say!" Jon protests with the full power of a twelve year-old's utmost huffiness behind it. Kon just keeps doing his stupid chores on the other side of the field and tries to ignore them, which would be a whole fucking lot easier if he didn't have super-hearing. "I just always wanted a brother when I was little. Didn't you?" 
"If I had possessed any sort of sibling when I was younger, we would have been expected to fight to the death at some point," Damian says. "So no, I did not." 
"Oh," Jon says lamely. "Okay, well . . . I didn't have that problem, so I wanted one. But, uh, yeah, if I had a brother we'd get in trouble if we fought, so yeah." 
"The circumstances are rather different, yes," Damian agrees dubiously, sounding even more annoyed than usual. "You are in no way my brother. Go bother someone else with such sentiments. Instruct the clone to fill the position." 
"Oh, sure, Conner counts," Jon mutters sullenly. 
Kon doesn't decide to go full fucking Black Zero on the entire multiverse, but he does kind of think about it. Just, like . . . just a little. 
Just a bit. 
"Well, you do not call him 'Father' or 'Uncle'," Damian says dryly. "So what else would you consider him?" 
"I dunno, like a weird cousin, apparently," Jon grumbles. "Literally everybody in Smallville thinks he's my cousin, it's super annoying." 
Kon is really, really trying to refocus his super-hearing and it is really, really not working.
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suzukiblu · 7 months
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Ko-fi thank-you sentences for Lainy; Kon and Jon and brother issues.
Kon wonders, not for the first time, what would happen if he looked over at Clark and said "you know you never actually introduced me to Jon, right?" Wonders what Clark would say.
Wonders how bad whatever it'd be would hurt.
He's not pathetic enough to pretend Clark might say something that'd make it better. Not right now, at least.
He wishes he were, almost. This might not feel quite as bad, if he could make himself pretend there was something like that for a moment or two.
Even if there were, though, he knows Clark would never say it.
Clark never introduced them, Jon thinks it's annoying that people think they're any kind of related, and Kon can't talk to anyone about it because how stupid and ungrateful would that sound, anyway? Clark got his parents to take him in when he was all out of places to go, and Kon should just shut up and be thankful he didn't end up in some fucking shitty government lab they'd never have let him out of.
He's lucky. So lucky.
He should be grateful.
He should be grateful, but Clark didn't care if he ever met Jon. But Jon thinks it's annoying that people think they're related. But . . .
He should be grateful, and he is.
But also, he's just . . . not.
Ma and Pa are great and maybe the best thing that's ever happened to him, except maybe Young Justice, and maybe the day Clark decided to name him, but Kon just wants–
Why didn't Clark want him?
Why doesn't Jon?
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suzukiblu · 2 months
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Imitation of Life by R.E.M. with either Clark panics and adopts his clones or Kon and Jon brother issues (sorry I just can’t choose both are so good)
There’s a lot Kon could do right now. What he does do is his damn chores. He just–he does his damn chores, and he doesn’t think. Doesn’t listen. Doesn’t–
Damian says something. Kon can tune him out. 
Jon says something, and Kon can’t tune him out at all.
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