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#why did he think he could get away with a dog in a no dog building? he's so dumbbbbb

sabh0 · 2 days

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What's your opinion on the anime? I find it pretty funny, but I can't say that I am not disappointed to see so many scenes missing.

For exemple, I wanted to see Dazai cry laugh at Chuuya's young mistress act, show that it was a joke shared by both of them, rather than one made to us at the expense of Chuuya. They took a genuinely funny moment and made me cringe SO hard for no reason T^T

God i could go on for hours about how Bones ruined this series. I'm obviously thankful we have an anime adaptation but. Well just compare bsd anime to jjk one or smth and yeah.

I will be complaining more under the cut,,

First the overall writing choices:

-Deleting or changing skk scenes to the point im not even shocked when ppl think these two actually somehow hate each other.

-The way they portrayed Sigma. They deleted half of his personality and backstory. And just speedrunned the Sky Casino arc like if seeing that place was giving them nightmares. No wonder he gets mischaracterized now.

-Tachihara's internal conflict about belonging to either Port Mafia or The Hunting Dogs? Bones never heard about it. It's not like IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.

-Akutagawa's whole character in the anime is just 'edgy and angry and bad grr'. In the manga he had some 'kind' or even seelf-reflection moments that were ommited in the anime. Like where he realizes defeating Atsushi didn't satisfy him (ship fight, season 1). Or when he gives files about the orphanage Director to Atsushi and says he won't fight him today because he lost someone impirtant to him. Sskk vs Fukuchi fight?? No scene where Sskk r helping each other walk. Instead we get Akutagwa just pushing Atsushi away. Won't even start on that last smile that looked more like another angry expression.

-THE WAY THEY CHANGED "DAZAI'S ENTRANCE EXAM" INTO SOME CURRENT TIMELINE EPISODES. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE. THIS NOVEL WAS SO GOOD. Showing both Dazai and Kunikida's characters and partnership so well. But no. Let's just??? Put Atsushi there. Let's delete the fact this thing happened 2 years ago. And let's delete everything that was actually important about it, too.

-also some changes in the Dark Era arc. Like. Lord. Dazai is so much more emotional in the novel. His expressions r described so well. But the anime either shows him from the back at those moments (him finding out Oda was almost killed by a sniper in Ango's room) or just deletes/changes the thing (Oda dying. This scene is so emotional in the novel. From the description u can tell Dazai was crying/on the verge of it as Odasaku died. But in the anime he looks calm and then we get a far aeay frame and he just. Gets up and that's it yeah.) They also deleted the scene of him visiting Oda's grave.

-The way they rushed seasons 4 and 5. Just to give us an episode that goes further than the manga and has the shittiest writing ever when it comes to skk's plan revelation (im so angry about this u guys have no idea. I sincerely believe that if this episode never came out, the manga would go differently bc there's no way that Asagiri who wrote things like Stormbringer suddenly thought that some dollar store vampire make up will fool a guy who's centuries old and literally lived next to vampires. But well!! Seems like these two speeches Dazai gave weren't important at all and now we can just forget about them yippiee)

I could definitely mention WAYY more examples of that but this is already long af. Like guys. I know u cant fit everything in an animated show. It takes time to make it and all but. Bro. The character's in the anime r so shallow compared to their original versions.

Now onto the artstyle of the anime.

Lord. U know? It was actually pretty in the first 2 seasons. The official arts at the time were also really nice to look at.

No idea what happened later. Why did Bones suddenly decide that those ugly turtle smiles r gonna become the main thing in the character design. Why so many fisheyes. Atp sometimes i look at the official art and i go oh lord even i could fix it. It really feels like they draw some characters ugly on purpose now (Chuuya being the main victim for unknown reasons).

Tho i must say they have their moments even now. Some last episodes of season 5 weren't really bad, especially the Meursault part (love them for animating Dazai and Sigma dancing so well. And for that 101 animation. And maybe for the heartattack they gave me with 109 and Chuuya shooting Dazai so many times.)

On some other things, i really like the music! Bsd openings and endings never miss,,,

#sab q&a #tumblr crashed when i was half into writing that and i had to start from the beginning again but it's no longer as detailed bc >:(#my relationship with bones looks like that: i would like to see stormbringer animated but im actually scared of seeing it animated #not because its sad but because there r very high chances that Bones will completely ruin it too #if u want me to talk solely about the manga vs anime skk then yeah just tell me i can do that too muah #sab yapping

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nicole-timey-wimey-stuff · 3 days

Text

It’s always been you

Dbf Negan x fem reader

Part 1 of 2

I’m really feeling the dad’s best friend Negan atm, I really like writing him in this AU.

Synopsis-NO OUTBREAK AU

Developing a crush on your dads best friend as a teenager, slowly morphs into something deeper as you grow up. When your an adult yourself he becomes a best friend to you too, one you take comfort from whenever your husband upsets you. When lines blur and feelings arise you’ll either burn your life to the ground, or you’ll get everything you’ve ever wanted since you were 17.

Warnings- Dads best friend, Large age gap, feelings, hurt, comfort, infidelity, confessions, smut, 18+ only, P in V, unprotected sex, emotional cheating (not from Negan), I made Negan’s mean ex wife an OC because I couldn’t do that to Lucille, my terrible writing as always. Negan’s character is based more on season 11 Negan, in the walking dead.

Was meant to be a one shot but as always I ran away with it so there will be a part 2.

Word count - 6.8K

_______________________________________

Negan, your dads closest friend came into your life when you were just 17 years old. Your family had moved across states from the bustling city of Chicago to Vermont New England. It had been quite a challenge for you at the time, being a teenager and in your final couple of years of school. In that moment it had felt like the end of the world, leaving all your friends behind and going from city life to country living. You’d hated your parents originally, but over time you realised they were only doing what they felt was best for you. The job your dad was offered was more money and it came with great perks, and the house they could afford here was four times the size of the apartment you had in Chicago.

So in time you settled in, your new neighbours were lovely too. The couple to the left of you were an elderly couple who had their children and grandchildren come over every weekend. They always offered you and your little brother home baked treats, as well as inviting you over to play with their own grandkids. At 17 you always politely declined but your little brother would usually go over, as they had a grandson a similar age.

Then to the right of you there were the Smith’s, Negan and his wife Rebecca lived in a three bed detached house, even though it was only themselves and their dog living there. Both clearly in their late 30’s they hadn’t had any children of their own. Negan became fast friends with your dad, always inviting each other over for beers and game nights. He become a constant visitor in your home, his wife on the other hand always stayed home even when she was invited by your mother.

They seemed to have a somewhat estranged relationship, they were always fighting which usually lead to her getting into her car and storming off down the road, not to be seen again until the next day. Negan would then come outside and sit on his porch lighting up a cigarette, this is when you would come over to talk with him.

Talking with Negan had always been easy, when you think back to your teenage days where you would have long in depth conversation with him, and make corny jokes to get him to smile again.

“Why did the waiter give the pony a glass of water?” You ask Negan in giggles, “I don’t know kid why?” He replies, “Because he was a little horse” you laugh, watching him laugh with you was the highlight of your weeks, “God kiddo that was terrible” he groans “Hey! You laughed” you tease, he just grins at you. Job accomplished, he was now smiling again, and it always caused butterflies to erupt in you stomach that you were the one who made it happen.

His wife was a piece of work though, she expected a lot, Negan had worked himself into the ground to provide her with the life she said she wanted, but she never seemed thankful. Any small thing he did would be brought up again and thrown in his face, and they weren’t even that bad, he accidentally broke her mother’s plate, or he forgot to collect the dry cleaning. It was as if Rebecca wanted to cause an argument, even so your mum had tried to befriend her.

As time went of their marriage fell apart and by the time you were 22 they were divorced, she had moved in with her new partner incredibly fast, leaving Negan alone in the house next door to you. Your dad and him started spending even more time together from then on, becoming the best of friends they are today.

Flash forward to today, you were now 30 years old and you and Negan still had a great bond. He’d become your best friend too in a sort of way, you talked daily through text, and called him weekly to check in. If something was broken, or your car had issues it would be him you turned too, at first it was because your dad had no clue, but over time it was because you’d rather call Negan than anyone else.

He’d been there for most major steps of your life, passing your driving test, finishing high school, leaving for and returning from college, your first date, first heartbreak, fall outs with friend’s, getting your first job…… he’s witnessed it all. He was even there the day you said I do to James, the day where you weren’t really sure you were making the right decision. James was a good guy, but he was aloof and he rarely took your feelings on board, told you frequently that you were being too sensitive, which was probably true you were, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

In these moments it was always Negan you had turned too for comfort,

He did it again, went out with his work colleges without telling me. I know it’s silly to be upset, but I can’t help it. She’s there too, it’s hard enough that he works with his ex, but he spends more time out with her than me, even if it is in a group.

I always feel like I’m right at the back of his mind.

Ping

Hey sweetheart,

No your feelings are justified, Rebecca would do things like this all the time and could never understand why I was hurt. So I completely get it, my doors open if you want to pop over.

Negan xx

You thought for a minute, pulling your bottom lip with your teeth. James wouldn’t be home for hours and sitting here alone and upset wasn’t making things any better.

Yeah ok I’ll be over in 10

Ping

Ok sweetheart, just let yourself in

Smiling at his response you throw on your shoes and jacket, grab your keys and make your way over to Negan's place.

Walking into Negan’s house was always like coming home, the familiar scent of pine, woodsmoke and tobacco fill the air. The fire in the lounge is always going during these colder months, giving the home a warm, welcoming feeling. “Negan?” You call out as you enter, “In the Kitchen sweet cheeks” he answers. Kicking off your shoes you make your way to the back of the house towards the kitchen, pausing at the doorframe to admire the sight. He’s stood over the stove, grey sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips, wearing his favourite Metallica t shirt. Originally the shirt was black, but after years of washing and wearing it, it’s more of a washed out dark grey now.

As he reaches up to turn the extractor fan on, causing the shirt to ride up, showing a small amount of his lower stomach. You notice his happy trail disappearing into his sweats, and can’t help the thoughts of what it would be like to run your hands down it. Gosh what are you thinking, get a hold girl, you scald yourself.

Clearing your throat you enter the room, “Hey! Watcha cooking?” You ask, “Hey darlin, I’m making spaghetti, have you eaten yet? Because I made enough for two just incase” he responds. God he’s so thoughtful you wish James was more like this, do you though? Or do you just wish James was in fact Negan.

“No I haven’t, thanks Negan” you reply, he nods at you pulling two plates out the cupboard.

Sat at the kitchen island you both enjoy your meals, laughing and reminiscing. It’s so easy, the conversation flows and you forget all about the upset you felt earlier on. “You know I saw your dad slip on ice yesterday, he did this sort of dance as he tried to steady himself. I asked if he needed a hand but he acted as if nothing happened. He must have pulled something because he’s been walking like John Wayne since” he laughs, “Oh my goodness poor dad, he never told me” you reply amusement in your voice. “He seems fine, but he was way to stubborn to ask for help” he adds. “Yeah he’s always been too stubborn for his own good” you hum.

You tell him about work and anything else that’s happened this week, listening to how his week went too, before checking the time with a sigh, “I should get back, he’ll be home soon.” He gives you a small smile, “Alright sweetheart, you know where I am yeah? If you need anything” he assures you, “Yeah thanks Negan, and thanks for cheering me up, I needed this.”

“Always” he promises.

Leaving you give him a warm hug goodbye, holding on a second longer than you probably should, before entering your car and heading home. He stands there for a minute watching you leave, sighing to himself. He hates how unhappy you are, he hates it even more that he’s not the one by your side making you happy. When you’re together everything feels right, his heart feels full, it’s where your meant to be he’s sure of it, beside him here.

_______________________________________

When you arrive home James is already back and fast asleep in your shared bed, he hadn’t waited for you. Checking your phone it was only 10:15pm, he could have waited to actually see you today.

Grabbing his dirty laundry off the bathroom floor you notice a pink lipstick stain on his shirt collar, your heart plummets, nausea hits and dizziness causes you stumble over your feet. Bringing the shirt to your face you can smell feminine perfume, but not just any perfume no, it’s her perfume, his exes scent covers the offending material.

You slump to the floor, every emotion is swirling through you as tears sting your eyes. It may be innocent she was there in the group he went out with, he was back at a reasonable time. You try to justify everything to yourself, you needed to give this time, to follow him, gather evidence and get the proof yourself before you accuse your husband of cheating.

Chucking the shirt back to where he left it to not cause suspicion, you got yourself cleaned up and ready for bed, slipping into the sheets you look over at James, soft snores leaving him as he’s blissfully unaware of your inner turmoil. Eventually you lay down and close your eyes, letting sleep take you.

_______________________________________

It’s been a week since the night you found the lipstick on your husbands shirt, and he’s spent the week being surprisingly sweet and attentive towards you. This in itself is raising suspicions to you, he’s not been this sensitive to your feelings since the very beginning of your relationship. Even so nothing since has been out of the ordinary, he’s left his phone laying around and handed it straight to you when you asked to make a call, because your phone was battery exhausted. He hasn’t left in the evenings, he’s phoned you on his way out of the office to run over any groceries he needed to grab on his way home, then arriving straight home bags in hand. So now you’re doubting anything you thought may have happened, he’s not acting like a guilty man, or one who’s having an affair, your only suspicion is how nice he’s being, and you’re starting to feel like a woman crazed.

You of course have been running it all over with Negan, explaining everything you found and what’s happening. He’d offered to beat him, which you’d laughed at but declined. You’d said you think you were just jumping to conclusions, and that you’d need actual proof before any violence was needed, he disagreed.

But all in all things were going better, the only problem was that you had this pit in your stomach, this feeling that a train wreck was starting to unfold. You couldn’t put your finger on it but something didn’t feel right. So when he messaged you later that afternoon saying he was going out with the guys, you set your plans into motion.

Hey ok,

What bar are you going too? Just so I know incase of emergencies.

Your phone buzzed on the countertop alerting you he’d responded.

We are going to the sports bar on Grange St, shouldn’t be out too late babe.

James x

You sent him back a little thumbs up, trying to act as unbothered as possible. You then called your closest girl friend Casey.

“Hey you ok?”

“Hey Case, I have a huge favour to ask you,” you plead down the phone.

“Yeah ok girl, what do you need?” You asks,

“I have a feeling James is cheating on me with his ex”

You hear an audible gasp down the phone, followed by “No! Really?”

“Yeah, I found lipstick on his shirts collar after he’s said he was out with his work colleagues. Which may be true but why was the lipstick on his shirt? Then I noticed the whole shirt smelt of her perfume” another gasp emits from your friend.

“So I was hoping that maybe you could go to the bar he said he’s at tonight, incognito style and let me know if he really is with the boys?” You ask pleadingly.

“Say no more babe, send me the bars details and the time and I’ll be there” she affirms.

“Thank you so much Case, I’ve been tearing my hair out over this” you sigh.

“It’s no trouble at all, it’s what friends are for, send me the details and I’ll call you when I have some news”

“Thank you”

Hanging up the call you smile to yourself, she’s always been a great friend. You met her your first day at school here, she showed you around that day and you’d both become best friends from then on. She was your maid of honour and you were there with her when her mum died, you’d been through a lot together and you could always rely on each other.

_______________________________________

The rest of the day went by quickly, you spent the afternoon into early evening working remotely from home, and were preparing yourself some dinner when your phone started buzzing,

“Hey Casey any news?” You ask, biting your nails in suspense.

“Well yes and no” she replies,

“What does that mean?” You ask confused,

“Well I’m here at the sports bar on Grange street, it’s past 7pm and it’s practically empty. There’s no group of guys here, and James is certainly not here” she responds.

“Oh…. That can’t be good can it?” You croak, emotions gathering a storm once more.

“They may just be late? I know you said 7, but I’ll hang around until 8pm just incase and I’ll call back ok babe?”

“Ok thanks Case” you reply.

Once off the phone you just sit there with it clutched to your chest, staring off into space while you try to make sense of the situation.

Sometime later your phone began to buzz again, you halted your pacing around the kitchen and answered Casey’s call,

“Hey Casey, I’m afraid to ask, but any news?” You ask.

“No I'm afraid not hun, it’s now 8:15 and there’s no sign of any of the guys, I’m going to check other bars in the area and see if there was just a change in plans” she offers,

“Ok thanks Case”

“It’s not a problem babe, I’ll keep you on the phone as I walk about checking bars,”

“Ok thank you, so how’s your dad?” You ask,

“Yeah he’s doing good, he actually has a date tomorrow which is great, you know it’s been 7 years next week. I think it’s time for him to live again, he’s 56 now and I don’t want him to spend the rest of his life lonely” she explains.

“Yeah I agree, bless him it’s been a while hasn’t it. He’s a lovely guy though so I’m sure his date will go great” you reply.

“Hmmm,” she agrees, “Talking about older guys, how’s Negan?” You can hear the teasing tone in her voice and it catches you off guard,

“Ooh umm” you stammer, “Yeah he’s good, well he was when I spoke to him yesterday, he and my dad are going fishing next weekend so he seems excited about that, although they will probably just sit there and drink beer, chatting and completely forget about the fishing part” you laugh.

“Yeah I bet, he still as dreamy as ever?” She jests.

“Stop it!” You laugh,

“Well this is the third bar I’ve checked and no sign of him sweets, I don’t know what to tell you?” She sighs.

“Ok Case, well thanks for looking for me, I know you must have had plans you cancelled for me” you respond.

“Nah just a date with Ben and Jerry, and possibly some Netflix, it’s all good babe”

She’s such a great friend you think, “I’m gunna walk back to my car now, sorry it wasn’t an easy fix hun.”

“No it’s ok, thanks for trying,” you assure her,

Then you hear a low gasp through the phone “What Case what’s happening?”

“ I see him….” She trails off, “So he is out with the boys, that’s such a relief thanks hunni so much….” But she cuts you off with a “No I see him with her” and your whole vision spins, “What??” You reply meekly.

“I’m so sorry babe, he’s sat in the Italian restaurant Lorenzo’s with her, it’s just the two of them and he’s holding her hand.. I’m so sorry babe, I’ll take a photo to show you”

Your silent on the other end, trying to comprehend what’s happening,

Ping

The image pops up and that is indeed James, sat holding her hand having dinner in the fancy Italian restaurant.

“I’m so sorry, did you want me to pop over I can be right there?” She offers.

“No” you choke, “ I think I just need some time alone to come to terms with this” you reply,

“Ok babe I completely understand, you know where I am if you need me yeah?”

“Yeah thanks” you hum, ending the call.

In your spiral of turmoil you do the only thing you know to do, you send Negan a text saying you need to see him, and you hurry out the door.

_______________________________________

As soon as you pull onto his drive he’s out of the house greeting you, panic written on his face, “What’s wrong sweetheart”, shaking your head you throw yourself into his arms, burying your face into his chest as you let the tears freely fall. “Hey it’s ok baby girl it’s ok, I’ve got ya” he coos as he strokes your hair and holds you close.

Sometime later after your breaths slow and you calm down he pulls you inside and onto his couch, “You going to tell me what’s going on baby girl? He asks, still concerned at your current state. You silently pull your phone out, bringing up the image and handing the phone over to Negan, “Casey took this tonight” you explain.

Negan takes in the image, bringing his hand to his mouth in shock, before running his fingers through his beard. “Shit!” He states, “Yeah shit indeed” you deadpan. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, you deserve so much better than this” you look down to your lap, fiddling with a loose thread on your jeans. “Hey look at me sweetheart” he encourages, his fingers carefully pulling your chin up so his eyes can meet yours, “You deserve so much better than this” he affirms once more. “Hell darlin you deserve the world, you’re the most incredible woman I know, and he’s an idiot if he doesn’t see it”.

Staring into his eyes you notice how close your face is to his, you could just lean in and press your lips to his, just mere inches. But he clears his throat pulling you in for another hug, “Can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to go home and I’m not ready for mum and dad to know yet” you ask.

“Of course darlin, you’re always welcome here, you know that” he assures you.

“How about I get you some comfy clothes to sleep in, and we can put a movie on?” He offers.

“Yeah that sounds good thanks Negan”

Taking a deep breath you follow him up the stairs and into his room, you take it in, from the books on his bedside table, to his neat sides, dark cotton bedsheets and pine scent, it’s just so Negan. You smile to yourself as you run your fingers over the books splayed out, Negan returns with some sweatpants and baggy t shirt, stopping at the entrance for a moment he admires the way you explore his room, a fond smile plays on his lips.

“Here these should do” he says handing you the clothes.

“Thank you”

“Of course darlin, I’ll leave you to get changed” and with that he closes the door and wonders off down the landing. You hastily change into the comfy clothes, enjoying the softness against your skin. They smelled of him and the feeling comforted you. Looking around his room once more, you catch something in the corner of your eye on the opposite night stand, rounding the bed your breath catches in your throat as realise it’s a framed photo of you and Negan together, taken at one of your dads BBQs a few years back.

You pick the photo up tracing the frame gently, when did he get this? Has it been here since the BBQ? Why does he have a photo of only you two next to his bed? So lost in thought you didn’t notice him walk back in, “I’m guessing I owe you an explanation for that huh?” He sighs. Jumping, startled by his sudden voice you gather your thoughts turning to face him, your breath hitches when you find him right in front of you, watching your face, trying to gage your reaction. “Why?” You stutter out, “Why do you have a photo of us beside your bed?” You ask.

“Well I think that’s obvious sweetheart” he states.

“Obvious how? I don’t understand” you reply, he steps closer and carefully moves a strand of hair out of your face, “I have it because I love you, I’m in love with you baby girl, and I know this is the most shittiest time to tell you this, but I’ve held it in for the best part of a decade and I can’t any more, you don’t have to say anything. I don’t expect anything from you, I just needed to tell you” he explains, water filling his eyes as he gives you a half smile.

You don’t respond not with words anyway you fumble to place the frame back onto the table, before wrapping your arms around Negan’s neck and crashing your lips against his. He freezes in shock initially but quickly regains composure and kisses you back, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulls you in closer deepening the kiss.

Your tongue swipes at his bottom lip seeking entrance, which he grants caressing your tongue with his, as the kiss becomes more needy and desperate Negan hoists you up, grabbing under your thighs and laying you down on his bed, lips never leaving yours he moves to hover over you. Threading his fingers with yours as he continues his attack down your neck to your collarbone. Wrapping your legs around his waist you pull him flush against you, raising your hips into him you grind your pelvis against his.

He pauses for a second looking down at you with such love and emotion “Are you sure sweetheart?” He asks eyes tracing you face searching for any uncertainty on your features, “Yeah I’m sure, I’ve never been so sure, I’ve loved you since I was 18” you admit. That’s all the confirmation he needs as his mouth finds yours once more. You pull at the bottom of his shirt, trying to tug it over his head, he lets out a laugh before standing up and removing it, “You only had to ask baby girl” he grins.

“Well then…” you reply, hooking your feet in his pants you give a gentle tug with your toes, “I’ll have these off too please”, “Oh will you now” he teases, grinning down at you as he unbuttons them and shrugs them off, he finds the end of your sweatpants pulling them off in one swift movement, causing an unexpected gasp from you. Throwing them to the side he joins you again on the bed, “Tell me what you want baby” he asks against your throat, while peppering your skin in sweet open mouthed kisses.

“You, I want you.” You moan, “You have me sweetheart, you’ll have to be more specific” you groan at his teasing “Negan please I need you”, “Need me where darlin?” He urged, grabbing his hand you pull it down your stomach to your panties, “Here, I need you here” you whimper. Seemingly done with the teasing he pulls your underwear to the side, running his fingers through your slick and bringing it up to your clit, causing you to let out a loud moan. “Fuck baby girl you’re soaked, this all for me?”, “Yeah, all for you, always for you”, it’s been seconds and you’re already a mess, whimpering and writhing under him.

Removing his hand he uses both to grab the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head, chucking it with the growing pile of clothing. Immediately his mouth finds your breasts, mouthing, sucking and licking them, your nipples becoming hard under his touch. “Fuck! Please Negan I need you” you buck your hips into him, arching your back desperate for some kind of relief. He gives you a smirk, mischief in his eyes as he starts kissing downwards across your stomach, all the way to your pelvic bone. He laces his fingers through the material, pulling your panties down, mouthing your skin lower and lower as he does. Feeling his hot breath over your core you whine, “Negan please” you beg desperate for him to do something, without warning he dives his face into your pussy, eating you out like a man starved.

“Fuck!!” You scream, “Feeling good yeah baby? I’ve waited so long to have you like this beneath me, to feel your body against mine, you’re like a dream come true baby” he growls against your core, spreading your folds he inserts two fingers into your wet heat, curving them upwards to hit that spongy spot that sends you reeling.

“I’m gonna come!” You scream as you release all over his face and fingers, as he rides out your high. Giving your clit one last slow lick you hiss, grabbing to pull him away from your sensitive pussy, smirking he crawls back up the bed kissing you deeply, your sweet taste on his lips makes you moan into his mouth, and you fumble to pull down his underwear.

“You still sure sweet girl? We can stop here if you’re not.” He worries, “Negan I swear to god if you don’t fuck me right now I’ll” he silences you with another deep kiss before removing his boxers. His cock springs out slapping his stomach and you can’t help but gape at it with wide eyes, he’s big, really big. James was not this big and you begin to wonder if he’s gonna fit. As if reading your reaction “Don’t worry baby girl we will make it fit” he assures you, “This pussy” he continues as he starts rubbing your lower lips teasingly “Was made for me” he punctuates as he guides his cock forwards, sinking into your tight hole, “FUCK!!” You moan, back arching as you feel him split you open.

“That’s it baby girl, you’re taking me so well” he coos, as he sinks all the way in, hips flush with yours. “You ok sweetheart?” He asks as he gently brushes a sweaty lock of hair from your face, you nod hard not trusting your voice, “I need words darlin” he instructs, “Yes! Shit yes I’m good, please move” you whine. Lacing his fingers with yours he gives an experimental role of his hips, causing you to let out a low moan. Confident he wouldn’t hurt you now he began to pick up the pace, setting a strong rhythm, before bringing his lips to yours once more. Your fingers squeeze his as your pussy clamps down on him, signalling your close, your previous orgasm leaving your incredibly sensitive. Negan groans against your mouth before pulling away to watch you come undone, he brings your combined hands down to your little bundle of nerves as he encourages you to play with your yourself.

“So close baby, I need you to cum, can you do that for me sweet girl?”, you nod frantically throwing your head back as you choke his cock, letting out the most pornagraphic moan as white hot pleasure erupts through you. Negan’s thrusts become sloppy and rough as he chases his own high, before he stills realising inside your tight walls with a loud growl, the feeling of his cock pulsing causes you to moan again, wrapping your legs tightly around his hips pulling him flush against you.

You both lay there for what feels like hours, basking in the afterglow and catching your breaths. You break the long silence first “That was….. wow” you giggle. He huffs out a deep laugh, “Yeah, it was”, nose nuzzling into your neck. “Let’s clean you up and get some sleep yeah?” He offers, “Yeah ok” you agree.

Falling asleep that night in Negan’s arms you felt more loved and cared for than you have in years.

_______________________________________

Waking up to soft kisses on your exposed shoulders was a welcomed change, you mumble ‘Morning’ as you stretch out in strong arms. “Mornin’ darlin’” Negan responds, pulling you against him a little tighter. “Mmm I could just stay like this all day” you sigh, “We can if ya want baby, I’ve got no place to be” he agrees.

So you do, you spend the whole morning in bed together, tracing shapes on each others skin, talking about anything and everything and making love. Eventually your stomachs growl and you decide to get up in search of food, not before another heated session in the shower though.

As early afternoon hits your dad inevitably sees your car in Negan’s driveway and heads over to find out what’s going on. Hearing a knock on the door Negan leaves the comfort of your embrace on the coach and moves to answer it. “Oh hey Keith, you ok?” He says greeting your dad, “ I just noticed my daughter’s cars been here a while now, so I came over to see what’s going on” your dad explains, his voice questioning. “Ah yeah, well your gonna need to ask her about that” Negan replies motioning your dad to come in. Upon hearing your dads voice you quickly check you look presentable, and gather the courage to explain what’s happened.

“Hey baby, I noticed your car over here and came to see what’s going on?” Your dad comments as he comes to sit with you, “Hey dad, yeah Negan offered me his spare room last night, because I couldn’t face being at home, and I wasn’t ready to tell you and mum. But Casey caught James out with his ex last night, holding hands at a fancy restaurant, I know I should have told you but I was so upset and I couldn’t handle it last night” you ramble on, tears springing to your eyes once more.

You dad pulls you in for a hug “Oh sweetie I’m so sorry, shhhh” he coos holding you tight. “It’s going to be ok, you can come home for now, we haven’t touched your old room, just come home and we will help you take care of everything else” he encourages. “Yeah ok dad I’ll do that, I just need to grab some things” you explain. “Are you sure you don’t want us to do that? We don’t mind?” Your dad asks, “No I need to confront him and tell him it’s over, I need to do that for myself”, “Ok honey, well with your permission I’ll go and fill your mother in, and we will sort out your room for you” your dad says. “Yeah that’s fine, thanks dad” he nods at you “Thanks Negan for taking her in at such short notice, I really appreciate it man” your dad offers.

“It’s no problem, she’s always welcome here. She knows that” Negan replies with a shrug, trying to act nonchalant, when inside he’s terrified of giving something away, guilt ridden he’s keeping this from his best friend.

As Negan sees your dad out you check your phone, which has been left all night downstairs on the coffee table.

10 messages

33 missed calls

All but one are from James, which is a missed call from Casey, probably checking in on you, you made a mental note to call her in a bit.

Opening your stream with James you look at the messages.

Hey babe where are you? Xx

It’s getting really late now babe? Where have you got too? Xx

It’s now 1am, your still not home is everything ok? Xx

Fuck it’s like 3am now babe can you let me know where you are? Xx

Look just let me know your ok? Just message me back please x

I feel asleep it’s now 6am and your still not home, I’m going to go check Casey’s see if your there x

Hey I just spoke to Casey she showed me the photo, look it’s not what it looks like please let me know where you are, so we can talk about this xx

It’s now past lunch please babe I’m begging you talk to me, I know it looks really bad but just let me explain. Xx

I’ve tried calling all night and day, I’m really worried, I’m going to go to your parents house see if your there xx

Shit!!! He will see your car is next door, he will come barging over here! Shit shit shit!! You jump up in panic, when Negan comes back into the room he takes notice of your panicked state, “What’s up baby girl” he asks concerned. You hand him your phone so he can see the stream of messages, “He’s going to come here, he will see my car and he will come here and….”, “Woah, calm down sweetheart, if he comes here I can tell him to piss off, we can deal with it” he reassures you.

Just as you start to calm yourself down there’s a frantic knock on the door, you look at Negan with wide eyes. “It’s ok I’ve got it” he says before leaving the room once more. You can hear raised voices, it’s definitely James. You sigh rubbing your temples, you need to confront him, you need to have this conversation. So you take a deep breath, pull up your big girl pants and head for the front door.

“It ok Negan I can take it from here” you offer, “You sure sweetheart, you don’t have too” James scrunches his face at Negan’s pet name, “Yeah I’m sure” you nod, “Ok well I’ll be right inside if you need me, and I’m leaving the door open” he argues, taking one last look as he leaves to go inside.

“Hey” you start,

“Hey, please let me explain” he pleads.

You motion for him to go on, “Ok so I shouldn’t have lied to you, but I knew you wouldn’t understand and I didn’t want you mad at me. But Hannah’s been having a really hard time, her mum is really sick, she’s been in hospital for months now. She wanted to meet up to talk about it, and I was close to her mum once too, I just wanted to be there for her” he explains.

“Really?” You deadpan, “I don’t believe you, you were holding her hand for Christ sakes.” You shout.

“I was comforting her! That’s all!” He defends.

“I found your shirt James! It smelt of her and it has a pink lipstick mark on the collar, so explain that” you demand.

“Yeah she did cuddle into me that night but nothing happened I swear to you, she was having such a tough time I didn’t want to push her off. I can see now it wasn’t the right thing to do, but I still care about her in some way, and she’s in pain” he pleads to you.

“I promise you I didn’t cheat on you, we were in a group that night you can ask anyone.” He adds.

“James allowing her to cuddle into you, holding her hand, lying to me about being with her! That is still cheating, you may not have slept with her, but that’s still emotional cheating.” You argue.

“Yeah ok I can see that, but I didn’t mean it like that I really didn’t, I think your overreacting a bit” he quips.

“What! Overeact….. Jesus James you never see it from my side! Never consider my feelings, I’m always either overreacting or I’m too sensitive, but what you did was emotional cheating!” You snap.

“Oh yeah? Ok then so what would you call what you’ve been doing for years with Negan huh! Every time we argue you call him, every time something happens in your life you call him! When you have a bad day you call to tell him, when something great happens you tell him! Never me! You never talk to me! It’s always him! How do you think that’s made me feel! This has been going on since we met! Then last night when this happens who do you run too? Hmmm? Negan once again!” He rants.

You stand there in shock mouth open, because he’s right, everything he just said is true. He may have emotionally cheated on you in recent months, but you’ve been doing it too for years. Realisation must have hit your features because he looks at you then carries on.

“I mean for Christ sake y/n he’s your dads best friend, he’s old enough to be your dad. Yet you’re clearly in love with him, huh aren’t you?” He asks in frustration.

“Yes” you whisper, “Yeah I love him, I always have” you admit.

“Then why did you marry me!” James shouts.

“I didn’t ever think I could have him, I didn’t think it was in the cards, and then I met you and I fell for you too, I do love you too, I promise I do! Just ………. Not as much as I love him, I’m so sorry” you admit, tears now flowing down your cheeks.

He just nods sadly, “You said didn’t think it was in the cards, not don’t think, has something changed?” He asks.

“Yeah” you admit.

“Since when?”

“Since last night” you confirm.

“Christ I guess I brought that on myself huh?” He asks.

“Did you sleep with him?”

There was no point lying now, everything was out in the open. “Yes” you whisper, but he caught it and now he was crying too.

“I get it” he says with a defeated laugh, “You thought I was having an affair, he comforted you then offered you the one thing you’ve wanted most since you were a teen huh, it’s over isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I think it’s been over for some time James, and I think you’re still in love with Hannah and deep down I think you know it” you concluded, meeting his gaze.

“Yeah I guess your right, maybe I do still love her, So can we do this amicably? The Divorce I mean, we can do everything 50/50?” He asks.

“Yeah I think we can” you admit, nodding to him with a kind smile, he pulls you in for a warm hug. “Friends then?” He offers, “Yeah in time I’m sure we will be” you agree. “Good, well I really do wish you all the best y/n” he smiles, “Yeah you too James, I hope you find happiness” you reply. He nods as he begins walking to his car “Bye James”, “Bye Y/N”.

It was a strange feeling watching him walk away, he was your college sweetheart, your first real relationship, it was the end of an era in some sort of way. But you didn’t feel sad, you felt free, as if this large weight had been moved from off your shoulders, like you’d been frantically treading water for years, and now your feet have finally hit land.

Warm arms curl around your waist, soft kiss hitting your temple. “You chose me” Negan chokes, voice filled with emotion. “Yeah” you agree, turning in his arms your eyes meeting his beautiful hazel orbs. “It’s always been you” you promise, before pulling him down into a sweet kiss.

_______________________________________

#negan smith #negan x reader #negan x you #negan fanfiction #the walking dead negan #twd negan #Dbf Negan #dbf x reader #negan imagine #negan smut #negan x female reader

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drdemonprince · 23 hours

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how did you know that seeking institutional help was the right step to take?

For four years I was always in high levels of care. When I transitioned out of that, I was a "revolving door patient" to ip units living with a carer the rest of the time. I sometimes self-harmed or did other actions intentionally to get hospitalized during that time. I'm going to focus on mostly that because I don't want to get into the weeds of how different psych treatment programs are categorized and run.

I would say that my goal of being hospitalized usually was to change something in my outpatient life - let my therapist know I wasn't willing to do something, get my companions to let me go for walks alone, whatever. I'd get hospitalized or call the cops on myself or send scary texts to my therapist and then try to end my life, eventually being stopped. I didn't want to die, but if I could prove to them I was willing to, they'd listen.

Another person mentioned a desire for closeness+physical touch, and that was a huge part of it for me. i even got restrained sometimes just because I wanted any touch, which is something commonly heard from incarcerated people. I had certain nurses and other staff who I saw as my family, calling my therapist "dad" and interacting in a needy, childlike way with floor staff.

I also liked how much it pared down my life. I was in college at the time, and found the social habits of the other students confusing and overwhelming, so I'd get hospitalized to miss class.

what helped you trust the professionals or the institution enough for it to be beneficial to you?

i wouldn't say I trust any of the institutions, but some staff earned my trust. I was a scary mean noncompliant patient so the few who actually bothered to get to know me were usually moments away from some kind of burnout where they realized all this shit sucks.

One of the things they did that earned my trust was to share about their own mental health or addiction history. This is encouraged in sud places, but usually VERY discouraged in psych units, moreso the higher level of care it is.

Another big thing was to allow me to break rules or break them themselves. My ex-therapist used to meet with me for extra time, give me my DVD player when I wasn't allowed, etc. and it felt like he saw me as equal. Turns out he sucks. but. during the time he was treating me he definitely helped me a lot with my thinking patterns, so the trust still ended up benefiting me, even if the relationship didn't always. He also talked A LOT about his family and life outside of work, and showed me pictures, and I even met his dog once.

for me this is an example of why therapists are kind of. not great? because he earned my trust enough to help me, I was at his defense. I felt like not getting better was something I was "doing to him", and his displays of sadness (once something I'd considered a positive aspect of his self disclosure) became a way to manipulate me into the hospital when I didn't want to go, without having to resort to force or law. i agreed with the assertion of psychology that he knew me better than I know myself, and gave every part of my personality, personhood, to the medical model.

so yes it helped as in now when I'm suicidal or about to bpd-style destroy my every relationship I think "play the tape forward what happens next" and don't. which is lame bc it means most of the people who treated me get to leave patting themselves on the back about how well im doing now.

which kinds of institutions have been *less* traumatic than the others?

A few times I got to live in supportive group home style places, and those are kind of nice! It was cool to be in a place surrounded by other mentally ill people. Much less lonely. In general, places that let you outside independently, let you access food independently (e.g. no staff in the kitchen), and let you keep some secrets from staff are the best. My quality of life was 100% better when all the program heads knew we were vaping in our rooms but just let it happen unless someone started setting off alarms. Ditto with like, being able to stay up late on Devices.

Having that independence, a place for my sense of self other than being a patient, was sooo sooo helpful.

is it sometimes worth simply not being able to act on the ideation, even if it means putting up with lots of institutional bullshit?

I didn't find the hospital particularly good at getting me to not act, instead they just prevented the worst consequences. All three hundred stitches I got for self-harm were while I was institutionalized. But like, my nerve damage is less than it could've been. I am not sure how to evaluate if that's better than having just died, because I have no idea how much the institution itself caused self-harm and suicidality.

all things being equal, would it always be better to be able to stay at a friend's house instead?

yes

if you could get 24-7 company from a loved one, would that be better?

yes. however. i think it would be good if people had some information about how to talk to suicidal people. like... i forget the training. but its similar to what they teach helpline volunteers. thats its ok to say suicide. to ask if they have a plan. to ask if theyd be willing to get rid of the means. etc.

SORRY IF THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO READ

this is a wealth of information, thank you!

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velvetures · 2 days

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*Peeks from a corner*

Merry Christmas!

Hi um...can I just say your comfort fluff fics have made me realize just how touche-starved I personally am. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So, if I could be so bold as to ask for a fic with Soap or Gaz or Keegan with that same theme? Making sure they're taken care of, or make them feel safe enough to let their guard down for a bit?

Again, totally fine if you have other things to do, but it would really male my day if you did. Thank you and have a nice day!

- 💀

Fall Back

a/n: thank you for the request babes... I'm sorry Christmas is just now here in mid-fucking May :( I'm ashamed. Additionally, this is my first time writing for Keegan... and I'm still working out the specifics for my interpretation of his character and behavior. So this is a bit different from what I've written before. Hopefully you enjoy it. summary: Keegan's worn down to the bone. And you're there to help him. t/w's: none.

his eyes are almost identical to my husband's... why didn't I notice until now...

He only comes to you when things get too heavy to bear.

And not in the way a refrigerator empty of food, or a late rent payment would weigh on your mind. You’ve not seen the same things he has… and fuck, he’ll do anything to make sure you never do. The mere thought that any of the nightmares and constant PTSD triggers that make him jumpy could touch your conscious would send him into an entirely new mental warfare, impossible to win. No, he shows up when he needs it most. No matter what you might be doing, or how it could appear, he’s crawling on his belly with a broken look in his eyes. Pride bruised, strength dissolved, and voice rough with more pain than you thought he could ever survive.

You tried keeping the back door unlocked for him. Thinking he’d take it as a sign that your home is always welcome. It resulted in him forcing you to lock the doors and make him a key. That lasted a couple of months, and then he lost the key somewhere in Cuba. Something about a guy ripping his chain off his neck and subsequently the key to your door that he wore alongside his dog tags. He’d been quick to change all of your locks after that. And since then, he’s decided that crawling in through your bedroom window is the only way he’ll enter your house unless you’re formally inviting him in.

Maybe it’s the anti-social part of him that believes he can’t come and go as he pleases. Spending precious time sneaking into your little house instead of doing what he came for in the first place. Getting close to you. Sometimes he won’t wake you up. Just taking off his bloody-soaked gear and taking a quick wash in the shower before curling up to you in bed. Tucking you under him, and breathing in the soft smell of your soap and fresh sheets. Other times, you’ll stir away when you hear boots scuffing heavily against the floor. Hearing heavy breaths and his tac vest thumping to the floor. Witnessing what it’s like when a ghost finally runs out of hatred and cold-blooded determination.

“Are you hurt?” It’s almost always your first question. After so many missions, he’s almost always got something that needs looked at. And while you never thought that tying stitches or cleaning shallow stab wounds would be a common occurrence in your life, Keegan has made it so that your medical kit under your bathroom sink is always stocked and ready for emergency-room worthy injuries.

He’s not going to talk much, even if he’s in good shape. It’s not in his disposition. More like a shelter dog sent back too many times for growling or bearing his teeth. Wary of everything, yet so desperate for touch that he’s willing to show you exactly where a bullet grazed his thigh. About eight hours old and weeping blood, staining a pair of pants that you’ll spend time scrubbing out in the morning while doing laundry. But if you’re worried, he’s going to hide just how badly he’s hurting… if for nothing than your sake.

He’s already broken into your house again… and now bleeding all over the bathroom rug with pretty flowers you bought after the last time he made a mess in there. Constantly reminding himself it’s selfish to demand you care for him. To show up with a shitty fucking attitude and guilt you into licking his wounds when he can’t bear to do it himself, or admit to the medical staff on base that he needs it. You’re too kind for this kind of bullshit. Too sweet to run him off though. And it’s why he keeps crawling back. Greedy… hungry… insatiable… he’s always admonishing himself for just how little control he possesses when there’s an opportunity to leave you alone, or place himself right in the middle of your life again.

“Everyone come back alive?”

Keegan has a love hate relationship with that particular question. Debating on whether or not he likes that you worry for his teammates in such an honest way; or if he’s so jealous of your mind wandering to them, and what fucked-up things they do during missions that it’s almost unbearable to hear you ask it.

“Alive.” He breathes out steadily as you thread your stitching through his skin for an eighth time, tying another knot over his twitching and aching muscles.

You’re always asking questions about the missions. About what he had to do, if he got hurt, where they went… it’s innocent enough. You mean well. But he never can tell you much. Protective instinct and top secret red tape make much of the details not worth the risk of divulging. But he’s patient with you. Giving away small hints maybe by saying a few words in a native language, or talking about a particular landmark that might’ve been close enough that you can make a guess from there. At this point, you’ve learned at least a few words in: German, Russian, Thai, and multiple hispanic dialects. A smart woman, of course, but he’s always surprised when you connect his work to something you’ve seen on the news.

It’s like you’re always watching for him.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Maybe you do look out for him in more ways than one. Not bothering with the fact that you’d already completed your nightly routine, just to strip down and get a shower running. Rubbing out strained shoulders with soft hands, and gently thumbing out the thick knots in his lower back. It’s the only pressure he’s willing to accept in this state. Merely breathing just to live for more of your touch. Keegan can’t even bother with soap, and had it not been for you, he wouldn’t have at all. Feeling you scrub down every inch of him. Much more like a maid than… well… he still didn’t know what kind of label to put on this relationship.

There were too many variables and more questions than he could answer. Sure it was… transactional at times, but he’d be remiss to ignore all of the ways you occupied his thoughts when it wasn’t appropriate to. And you always do more than you’re supposed to. Just like now. Wrapping your arms around him for behind and kissing over his shoulder blades. Humming a soft tune and letting your fingertips trace over his stomach. Any man should be able to admit that he’s weak for it… but Keegan can’t readily do that.

Fighting his own heart pounding in his chest as you sway him back and forth. Wishing he could let this feeling go. Be a stronger man. Be a better ghost and lock himself away behind the gear and guns. Fuck. You’re so good at it though. Stripping him down to nothing, even when he thought there wasn’t anything else left. Soothing aches and kissing away pains he blocked out for so long that he felt like had disappeared. You are smarter than that. You know how his mind works whether he likes it or not. How willing he is to go from hell and back so many times that he’s unsure of what kind of being he truly is. Caught between worlds of warfare and the softer one where you always welcome him back, knowing that within a few days the gore will call him back for service.

“Sleep on the couch…” He mutters, standing with a towel slung around his hips and a bleary look in satin light-blue eyes. “Don’t wanna stain your sheets.”

He’d seen them upon arrival; crisp white and hundred-dollar softness he didn’t want to touch. Between the blood and feeling of getting spoiled to them, it wasn’t worth it to him. He’d done it before without much thought, but this time something was making him attempt responsibility.

“Then I’m coming with you, Russ.”

You’re smiling that damned smile he dreams about. That one where the gap between your front teeth shows and the dimpled skin on your cheeks shadows just enough to make him forget that you’re human. Angelic. Teasing… Gracefully not leaving him room for an argument. Simply turning around and headed towards the bedroom without another word as to if he’d be choosing to lay cramped on your couch. Hell, it’s four in the morning, and your mind is sharp enough to play with him just enough that he’s stalking back into the dark room and watching you crawl into the bed with an expectant, innocent look directed at him.

Keegan can’t help it.

He’s under the sheets and unceremoniously reaching for you without hesitation. Feeling his callouses catch on your skin and wincing when he hears his rough palms scratch at you. No matter how rough it feels, you’re still sliding closer. Careful of bruises and cuts, tucking yourself against him and using one arm to guide his head against your chest. Laying just above him. Incentivizing him to hug tightly to you and tuck his head under your chin. Allowing this unfeeling soldier to hide in the temporary shelter of your heartbeat.

You rub his head, and feel short, clipped, hair tickle your fingertips. Soft from a shampoo and condition after weeks away in sand that made the bathroom floor feel gritty. You’re almost always pressing kisses to his forehead and using your other hand to rub over his brow bone and bridge of his nose. Seeing in the nighttime shadow where his face paint has settled into wrinkles that you didn’t manage to wash off in the shower. Looking at long, black eyelashes that flutter a bit when you scratch up and down the back of his neck.

“You’re so pretty…” You always talk to him like this. Unable to keep from spouting praise that wells up after long periods of not knowing if he’s alive, let alone safe.

You’re not dumb. You know he’s dangerous. Maybe even a monster in some people’s eyes. But it’s a necessary evil, and it’s something you came to terms with easily. Because you didn’t just see him for the guns and direct orders. You got to witness moments like this where he’s nothing but a man in desperate need of humanity. Hungry for connection. Soft touches… and whether he liked it or not, the praises that you whisper against his pink-tipped ears.

“You’re the pretty one, dollie.” He grumbles back, squeezing your hip in a big hand.

It makes your face heat up just ask quickly when he pulls that one out. Almost always with a nickname up his sleeve that just makes it all that much more worth it. But being anything other than your own name to him… it’s a different kind of reward. One that has you smiling like a fool as you get sleepier. Nearly petting him to sleep, and hoping to god you can stay awake longer than he does just to prove you’re willing to. Maybe willing isn’t even strong enough…

Any way you think about it, there’s a sense of duty you hold much like his to a career as a ghost. Yours stemming from love so deep for this man that it’s painful watching him crawl to you as a last resort. Despising what or whoever made him feel like wanting a warm bed, and someone to look after him when he’s weak, is wrong. God it’s enough to make you angry. Looking down at a man who could make anyone tremble, and seeing him curled up against your chest like he’s clinging to a shred of comfort. If you thought picking up a gun alongside him would change things, you’re certain you’d have done it years ago. Right when all of this started and Keegan was much more proud. Unwilling to relent as easily as he does now.

But it took that long because there wasn’t another option.

He wouldn’t have allowed it if you were any different of a person, or hadn’t possessed the patience for him to let go like this. You’re positive no one knows that this is where he runs to when things get too hard. None of his team, and with no family to speak of, you’re left as his final resort, but the only one he trusts. Unlike Keegan who avoids his medal pinnings with sheer hatred, you wear your designation proudly. You’re always shining it… polishing it… looking for the first opportunity to show just how willing you are. Just for the chance to hold him. Anything to feel his breathing even out after weeks of holding it. Anything to clean him up. Put him back together.

All while silently praying that it’ll be the last time. Wishing he’d see that you aren’t a last resort, and that he can lay here as long as he wants without losing the worth he assigned to himself after becoming a ghost. Wondering when it’ll come to an end where he can come back and hang up the guns laying on your bedroom floor, forever. Patiently anticipating the day you can not have to wait until he’s asleep to say exactly how you feel.

“I love you, Keegan…”

comments & reblogs are always appreciated 🤎

#velvetures #velvetures writes #cod #anon <3 #velvetures answers #keegan #keegan p russ #cod keegan #keegan russ x reader #keegan x reader #keegan x you #💀 anon

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ghouljams · 1 day

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König definitely deserved a punch to the face for insulting Goose, but then for her to continue by tackling him and dislocating his arm? Then for Ghost to restrain Bee, and Johnny having to intervene by tripping König even though Goose started the physical fight? As you said, Bee doesn’t like power imbalances (i.e. her stance on the government, and being a DA victim) so wouldn’t she end up more upset about being forcefully restrained by a man and watching someone she loves get excessively hurt? It’s not like König punched Goose randomly :( He tried restraining her until she dislocated his arm

here's how I view it and how I wrote it. König instigated the fight by insulting Goose and Goose retaliated with the tackle and then the elbow. The fight absolutely could have ended there. König got what was coming to him for picking a fight with the wrong person, it happens, the smart thing to do is to cut his losses, say uncle, put up his arms on the defensive. Goose wouldn't have dislocated his arm or kept fighting if he was clearly not going to fight back. He did in fact fight back.

König is a violent man. He is a man that relishes in violence, that is trained on brutality and more importantly, has never lost. König is always the biggest threat in a room, and he's made it clear in this fic that he doesn't respect Goose as an adversary. So, he continues the fight. He grabs Goose by the neck and attempts to strangle her. Goose's dislocation of his shoulder is not just a senseless violence against König, it is a response to his attempt at harm. She doesn't have the strength to get herself out of his grip, she even says that she doesn't have the reach to hit him. Would you prefer that she let him choke her? Does she deserve it for lashing out against a man that called her a dog? A whore?

Does Goose's reaction to a man continuing a physical fight with her make you uncomfortable? Why?

At no point did I say Ghost forcefully restrained Bee, he pulled her out of range:

"Simon's on his feet, quick to grab the city girl when she tries to intervene"

Bee tries to get involved in the fight, and Ghost (rightfully) pulls her out of the line of fire. His entire role in this fight has been one of moderation, and restraint. Trying to keep the fight from happening up until the moment that he decides it's not worth it anymore. Then his job is to keep civvies out of harms way.

I'm not going to defend Soap's presence in the fight because he was wrong to get involved. On the other hand, König is a 6'6" retired battering ram that could still hold his own against most active duty military, Goose is a civilian. Granted Goose is a well trained civilian from a military family, but at the end of the day she's an accountant.

Here's my question to you: do you think König would have stopped just at restraining Goose?

Bee watched the man she loves openly insult a woman who had only ever been friendly to her. She was stopped from intervening when said woman attacked König(very scary! She did not like this), she then watch the man that she loves, trusts with her own safety, retaliate and continue the fight. She watched him punch Goose in the face despite having an injury that would make a normal person stop fighting. She watched him attempt to go after Goose again despite her removing herself from the fight(rolling away). The fight could have been over at that point, but König continued to insult Goose, continued to go after her, and would have hurt her without a second thought if he'd been allowed to.

I ask again: is Goose not allowed to defend herself? Does it make you uncomfortable? I don't think either of them is the victim here, but the label on the can was clear that this was a fic about Goose beating up König. I don't think it's fair to be upset with her for doing what it says on the tin.

#ghoul speaks #long post #fanfic meta #god forbid a woman do anything #everyone loves morally grey characters until they're a woman #Is it more scary for Bee who had been actively hurt by a man for years to see König hurting a woman #or to see a woman hurting König #do you think she put herself in Goose's shoes for a second #and wondered if one day he might turn on her as well?#oc: goose #cowboy au

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inkskinned · 2 years

Text

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

#spilled ink #warm up #so i have worked in childcare as a teacher for like 15 years #hence the language behind ''what helps you be safe in your body?''#like you can tell by what i say here i have EXPERIENCE with kids.#but tbh the REAL teacher moment is watching a 6/7 year old say #''this makes me nervous #can you please not come closer?''#as a teacher i was IMMEDIATELY like ... ahh whomever is raising you is doing an EXCELLENT job holy shit #verbalizing your fears? trusting an adult to listen?#ability to recognize a way you might feel safer?#like .... this kid's caregivers.... that one moment... i was like .... who are u i wanna french kiss you big on the mouth

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dante-mightdie · 1 month

Note

A small req? Wheree we're a milf and our incel son eventually joins the military (you choose if he joins the military or meets at a bar I ain't gaf) and meets Ghost, 141 whatever. He brings Ghost home to his basement room(or the 141 bb do whatever you want) and ghost is surprised n shi that we this incel momma when we com with snacks or something like 'get outta here mom you're embarrassing me Infront of my new friends!" Is our sons reaction or sum. And ghostie pookie excuses himself up to the bathroom to sloppily makeout with us 🥺

nobody look at me i’m foaming at the mouth

c/w: simon is kinda strange but in a weird sexy way, mentions of misogyny, talks of sex must no actual smut, housewife kink kinda

it’s no secret that your son is a nasty little misogynistic shit. everyone on base has had the experience of standing next to him on a night as out when he gets a drink thrown in his face by whatever girl is he was chatting to

they’d been there every time he dogs out in front of everyone when you visit him on base. watching your eyes well up when your son tells you that he doesn’t like your new haircut or dress, that you’re too old to wear stuff like that

simon tried not to judge, appearances can be deceiving. perhaps you’re not all smiles and baked goods, maybe you’re an awful mother behind the scenes. he really tried. until he found out the real reason your son treats you like shit…

“she made my dad leave. he told me after they divorced that she wasn’t giving him what he needed, that’s why he had to go and get it somewhere else.” your son finally admitted one night after going through half case of beer

simon felt his hand tighten around his bottle as your son continued to ramble about how you were always busy with shit jobs. waitressing, cleaning or retail. he spent most of his childhood never getting all the latest toys and clothes because you could never afford it, too busy catching up on late bills to make sure there was a roof over both of your heads

“she’s so selfish.”

‘fuck being non-judgmental’ simon thinks. this kid doesn’t know how lucky he is. having a such a lovely mum like you, never losing your patience with your son even when he treats you like dirt. always trying to greet him with a hug or kiss just for him to push you away. begging him to call when he’s away just so you can know your boy is safe :(

“sounds like your mad at your mum for being the one that stuck around, lad.” price buts in, shaking his head with a small laugh.

you had been a topic of discussion the night after your first visit to the base. the product of a few glasses of bourbon shared between simon and john

“did you see the new recruits mother? fuckin’ hell, if I were 10 years younger I’d be all over that.” price admitted, adjusting his hips as he leaned back in his desk chair. simon let out a small grunt of agreement, having thought about this since he first laid eyes on you

simon had come to the conclusion that you both just needed a good man in your life. your son needed a father figure that would actually stick around, he could tell by the way your son looks up to him and the captain, eager to impress them

and you. oh, you. with your sweet, simple dresses and adoring smile. simon wishes you’d smile at him like that. all that cooking that your son lets go to waste could go to him instead. you could cook his favourite dinners for him and take care of his house whilst he’s away at work, whipping the boy into shape. teaching him every thing that your sack of shit ex-husband clearly didn’t

he’d be so good to you too. he knows it’s been a while since you’ve had a man to take care of your needs. he sees the way you nearly drool as you watch him running laps around the field, tatted arms on display. he’d spit you open so nicely on his cock and he knows you’d take him so well too, your pretty cunt would he creaming all over him

he soon takes advantage of this knowledge, subtly convincing your son to invite him over to your home on leave. dropping some story about how his flat is getting some work done and that he only lives 20 minutes from you both. your son was quick to offer the lieutenant a place to stay, telling him that he could take your room. that you could sleep on the couch for a couple weeks.

‘we’ll share the bed.’ simon thinks, but he doesn’t dare say it to your sons face. can’t have this little brat meddling with his plan

his arrival is clearly a surprise to you from the way you rush about shortly afterwards to start scrubbing the house top to bottom, rattling off apologies about the state of everything. simon quickly shuts down any offer of him taking your bedroom

“keep your bed, love. I’ll take the sofa.” he grumbles, sipping the tea that you made for him whilst your son rolls his eyes from the other side of the kitchen

he can see the way your eyes look at him with this longing. he knows it won’t take much to get you into bed. poor thing that hasn’t had anyone to look after her for years

he spends the next few days proving to you that he can provide. helping you carry anything heavy, drying the dishes after you’ve watched them, fixing the handy jobs around the house

you’re constantly praising him, focusing your love and attention towards him instead of your ungrateful son and the boy hates it. which is just the cherry on top, simon thinks

“your mother is so lucky to have a son like you. you must help her around the house all the time!” you coo, fidgeting with your skirt

“my mum passed away… jus’ me left out of the whole family.” simon admits, solemnly

“you poor thing, I’m so sorry. you’re welcome here anytime…” you gasp softly, placing your delicate hand on his arm and squeezing the muscle of his bicep gently and simon is ashamed to say it made his cock twitch against his thigh

“thank you, sweetheart… such a lovely girl, aren’t you?” he smiles behind his mask, reaching over and wrapping his arm around your waist. he pulls you against him, putting one hand over your mouth to keep you quiet as he hoists you up onto the kitchen counter

he squeezes his large frame inbetween your spread legs, leaning forward to look into your widened eyes

“been so good to me, love. taking care of me. such a good mum to your son, ya just need a good man to be a wife to, don’t you?” he says, pushing your skirt up your lap and revealing your thighs to him

he feels your thighs squeeze his waist, an aroused reaction from you. your body slumps into his with a natural submission that makes his cock ache. he lowers his hand and hooks his mask over his nose, revealing the scar running over his lip

“s’alright, darling. ‘m here to look after you now. me, you and the boy will be a nice happy family, yeah?” he says with a small smirk. leaning forward to mould his lips against yours before you can answer

he hears the little whimper you let out as you kiss him back, a little sloppy and inexperienced from years of being single, too busy with your son and work to date

but that’s okay because simon’s here now. ready to claim his family.

#mw2 #cod mw2 #ghost #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost simon riley

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stargirlrchive · 5 months

Text

cw: simon buys you a gift! like this is pure fluff,, domestic, sweet simon <333

simon’s stomach tightened as he quietly shushed the puppy in his arms. and despite how much responsibility it came with, he could not get your face out of his mind.

red-rimmed and wide-eyed as you wailed over a video you saw on tiktok, something about a dog being reunited with its owner after 3 years? he couldn’t recall exactly what you were crying about but you were inconsolable as you cried into his chest about how you wanted a dog.

and he knew you got lonely while he was away, he figured a baby pup would do you well.

“gotta keep quiet.”

the puppy’s head tilted to the side as if wondering what he was saying before letting out an excited bark as simon slipped him into his puffer jacket.

the small animal squirmed against his chest but ultimately stayed quiet, as if he knew to do so.

simon’s feet moved quickly, excitedly, through the halls to get to you. you were in the kitchen, hips swaying as you listened to music and cooked. you didn’t bother turning around when you heard him approaching.

“hi, baby.”

simon made his way to you, pressing a kiss to the back of your head as he mumbled quietly, “got somethin’ f’r you.”

your smile evident in your voice as you asked, “what is it?”

you turned in his arms, brows pinching as something moved inside of simon’s jacket. it was followed by the sound of a soft whine, and your eyes instantly widened.

“you didn’t-”

simon unzipped his jacket before you could say anything else, the cutest little pup comfortably resting on his chest, poking its little head out to look at you.

a choked out noise leaving your throat as you reached for him, “for me?”

simon’s laugh rumbled through his chest as you cradled the dog. the pup perked up in your arms, pressing his wet nose against your face and neck as he squirmed with utter excitement.

your eyes had pooled with tears, staring at the puppy with a quivering lip as you tried your hardest to not cry out of sheer happiness.

“why are you crying, love? aren’t you happy?”

the harsh sob that had been threatening to leave your mouth finally broke as you nodded, through heavy sniffles and choked words all simon could make out was, “he’s just so cute.”

simon did his best to hide the laugh that threatened to leave him with a cough, pulling you in to wrap you up in his arms, the puppy now calmly settled between the two of you as you sniffled.

your face turned upwards as you stared at simon, your hair was sticking to your face from the tears, eyes swollen and glossy as you pressed a kiss to his mouth.

“thank you, baby. where did you find him?”

simon’s fingers moved to cradle your face, pushing your hair back as he placed a kiss to your temple.

“went to a shelter, he was the runt of the litter and all the other pups had been adopted, ‘long with his momma.”

and really, simon should’ve known to not say something so utterly heartbreaking. but he didn’t think.

not until a distressed noise left your mouth, your hands tightening protectively against the now sleeping puppy as a fresh set of tears began pouring down your face.

#simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x gender neutral reader #call of duty #cod #simon ghost riley x reader

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sharlsworld · 20 days

Text

⋆⭒˚.⋆ i heard - ʟɴ4 ☆

✿ lando norris x influencer!reader (everyone gasped)

✿ lando norris has a crush on a certain influencer and his friends are on a mission to help him get the girl

🝮

📍los angeles, california

liked by landonorris and 3,935,027 others

yn sun kissed 🌞

landonorris first

landonorris 😍😍😍

⤷ maxfewtrell 3 heart eyes??

flowers444yn what tf is lando norris doing in my gf’s comments?

lando.norizz he’s never beating the norizz allegations

alexandrasaintmleux let me take you out on my boat girl 🤤

⤷ charles_leclerc You mean my boat?

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux go away

⤷ yn i’ll be waiting 😉

zendaya Simply stunning 🤩

♥︎ by author

jacobelordi 😍

♥︎ by author

hearts4lando how do the wags know her?

⤷ ynsource she’s been invited to a few races by ferrari and mercedes so the wags must’ve introduced themselves there

judebellingham Beautiful 😍

♥︎ by author

⤷ yn 🥰

⤷ landowantsrizz STOP POOR LANDO CANT EVEN GET A LIKE 😭

lilymhe damn girl let me wife you up 🤤

⤷ yn please do 😫

🝮

📍monaco

liked by landonorris and 5,902,528 others

yn monaco will always have my heart

landonorris first

♥︎ by author

landonorris can i have it next?

♥︎ by author

alexandrasaintmleux need your hair 😍😫

♥︎ by author

gigihadid i miss you gorgeous 💓

⤷ yn i miss you more 💘

francisca.cgomes why not the picture of you double cheeked up? 🤤🤤

⤷ yn kika 😭😭 please

pierregasly can i have my shirt that i did not know was missing until now back?

⤷ francisca.cgomes no she wears it better

⤷ pierregasly wow ok then.

michaelbjordan 😍

♥︎ by author

⤷ yn everyone SHUT UP IM GLITCHING

⤷ landolovesyn poor lando 😭😭

landonorris please just give me one chance

♥︎ by author

⤷ yn 😭😭

⤷ landonorris i’ll take that as a maybe 🥰

carlossainz55 I would like to apologize for lando’s behavior

⤷ yn nothing to apologize for, it’s cute

⤷ landonorris 🤩🥺🥰🤤😫😍😎🥳😱

⤷ charles_leclerc Don’t mind him, he doesn’t interact with women much…

⤷ yn i could tell

⤷ landonorris 😕😞🖤💔😖😪😢😣😔

⤷ oscarpiastri He’s genuinely tweaking rn

🝮

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo and 944,576 others

landonorris 🩷💜🤍💙🩵❤️

yn who’s all those hearts for?

⤷ landonorrris you. only you. always you.

charles_leclerc Lando looking for y/n

oscarpiastri Lando wondering where y/n is

alex_albon lando wondering what y/n is doing

alexandrasaintmleux lando thinking how to get y/n’s attention

georgerussell63 Lando thinking of y/n

carlossainz55 Lando thinking about all the gifts he’s could buy for y/n

lilymhe lando wondering how y/n slept

francisca.cgomes lando thinking of ways to impress y/n

maxfewtrell Lando wondering if y/n thinks he’s cool

🝮

📍 somewhere in monaco

liked by pierregasly and 3,084,921 others

yn party of 1

landonorris first

♥︎ by author

landonorris can i make it a party of 2? :)

♥︎ by author

⤷ yn i wouldn’t mind ;)

charles_leclerc I heard lando norris saved a family of 6 from a house fire the other day

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux yeah i heard he also saved the family’s 3 dogs too

carlossainz55 Lando norris bought me a new custom ferrari yesterday

maxverstappen1 Shoutout to my boy lando norris for letting me win all those races your a real one mate

alex_albon I heard lando norris tipped 700 dollars for a 10 dollar coffee last week

oscarpiastri I heard lando norris bought 1000 dollars worth of food for a homeless shelter in Miami last year

⤷ georgerussell63 I heard he also donated a bunch of clothes to

lilymhe i heard lando norris payed for everyone’s meals at a restaurant last month

⤷ carmenmmundt Yeah I heard he does that all the time

⤷ francisca.cgomes i heard he gave 1 million to a small business today

danielricciardo Lando norris actually bought me my house

lewishamilton Lando norris bought my dog a thousand dollar blinged out collar

donatella_versace Donatella VERSACE💜

🝮

yn posted a story

replies

landonorris replied to your story

first 😁

yn as always honey

carlossainz55 replied to your story

does that party of 2 include a certain brit?

yn i don’t know who your referring to 🤔

lilymhe replied to your story

that bitch stole my girl

yn like you weren’t helping him 😭

carmenmmundt replied to your story

My little girl is growing up on me 😓

yn omg shut up 😭

francisca.cgomes replied to your story

that muppet better treat my girl right

yn don’t worry kika he will

alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story

ask him to buy you red bottoms i bet he will without thinking about it

yn stop he probably would 😭😭

🝮

landonorris posted a story

replies

yn replied to your story

you’re so cute

landonorris your the cutest 😉

you’re*

landonorris i’m sorry. you’re the cutest*

charles_leclerc replied to your story

Your welcome, I started that whole thing

landonorris thank you mate it’s very much appreciated

pierregasly replied to your story

Don’t trip mate

landonorris to late. i knocked on the door to her apartment and she invited me inside cause she was looking for her earrings and i tripped walking inside. and i did not catch myself in time.

your supposed to have fast reflexes mate 😭

landonorris yeah all that went out the window when i seen her

alexandrasaintmleux replied to your story

you better not let her touch any door handle, pull out her chair, hold her hand, give her your coat, and don’t let her peak at the bill

landonorris i wouldn’t dream of it

🝮

liked by krisjenner and 11,935,776 others

yn i heard he ended world hunger or something?

landonorris first

♥︎ by author

landonorris sum slight yk

♥︎ by author

landonorris your so yummy baby 😍

♥︎ by author

charles_leclerc Once again, your welcome

⤷ yn no thank you

lilymhe damn does he not know how to keep his hands to himself?

⤷ landonorris you wouldn’t be able to if she was yours

francisca.cgomes i could treat you better

⤷ yn come over 😏

⤷ francisca.cgomes omw baby

⤷ landonorris oh!

⤷ pierregasly you get used to it

⤷ alex_albon over time you’ll just start to ignore it

⤷ charles_leclerc At a certain point you’ll have a good chuckle about it

⤷ georgerussell63 You learn to live with it

🝮

landonorris

liked by tomholland2013 and 6,213,095 others

landonorris i like when it’s you & i

yn first

♥︎ by author

yn 🤍🤍🤍

♥︎ by author

yn i like it too honey

♥︎ by author

carlossainz55 You did it cabrón 🥳

⤷ landonorris i manifested this shit

lilymhe cutest 😍 y/n not lando.

⤷ landonorris hatin for what 🤣🤣

danielricciardo Lando norris did it

⤷ charles_leclerc He got the girl

⤷ arthur_leclerc crazy son of a bitch

alex_albon bro beat the norizz allegations

⤷ georgerussell63 I guess it’s time to retire lando norizz 😞

alexandrasaintmleux she was mine first.

⤷ landonorris and now she’s all mine 🤤

maxverstappen1 This calls for celebration!

⤷ pierregasly to the club!

oscarpiastri I already can’t stand you two

francisca.cgomes she curved michael b jordan and jude bellingham for a white guy…

⤷ landonorris stay mad 🥱

mclaren Welcome to family y/n! 🧡

♥︎ by author & yn

#lando norris #f1 smau #lando norris smau #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagine #lando norris smut #formula 1 #f1 imagine

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