personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"

shoutout to those nights where the brain says We Literally Cant Do Anything Even Though We Really Want To <3

i just sneezed unexpectedly and fell off the bed, proceeding to bonk my head on the same wall i ran into earlier and rip my phone out of the charger

help

I wish I could put you all in my head for like 5 minutes so you can absorb all of my thoughts and feelings on iovita's gender and then I could pull you back out and we could both nod and shake hands

I love nikkiblr and its queer themed pfps. We all gay here init 🤝

i’ve realized that i have a very strong ‘gimme positive stimulation’ response to stress.

i may not even consciously know i’m stressed. but my body will call out to me:

“hey. i need something. i wanna smoke something. drink something. bite something. someone. feel someone. something. anything. now.”

and like. it’s a constant uphill battle, finding ways to re-direct that stress response into healthy coping mechanisms, yknow?

i’ve found exercise is by far the most helpful thing for me. but that’s just like. not practical all the time. i can’t workout at 1 am lol.

neither is removing the source of the stress. sometimes you have some control over it. other times u don’t.

anyway. art kinda helps. journaling helps. stretching and breathing exercises often help. reading is nice but doesn’t make it go away.

i think it’s about re-directing the stress. sitting with it, and putting that energy into something tangible. i think that’s really important for me.

It’s 1am and I’m considering a switch to become an English major

The bookmark tag was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks but To Be Real even I forgot what it was...

BUT YEAH thanks so much for reading and I'm glad it's :] Intelligible At Least :] obviously I would be up for reading anything that came to mind after putting you and your followers through All That but understandable... A lot of people I've shown the checklist items or pointed out specific behaviors to have actually said similar [i.e. I'm In This Picture And I Don't Like It], so I totally get what you mean, too!

I think a lot of my picks wound up being generalized trauma responses/aftereffects of abuse or neglect [hence I meandered off into just talking about Jo's father half the time], so I guess it's to be expected a lot of them don't read as being CSA-specific or are broadly relatable; it's not like he's supposed to be read that way, after all. I just wasn't able to zero in on many of the more specific ones because I've Never Seen Jo In This Situation Chief I Don't Know What He Thinks About His Name Or His Body Or Mirrors Or Sex Or Affection I Don't Know How Well Or Poorly He Sleeps [Presumably Poorly Though He Has The Second-Reddest Eyes In The Whole Game]

I don't really think I'll have anything to add though unless Infinite Wealth goes off the rails or I actually continue reading the book... so that will have to do... I originally was just riffing on RGGJo's attachment issues, self-destructiveness, and specific entwinement of sexuality/aggression/romance, and his portrayal in my fic lined up pretty closely, so I thought it'd be interesting to apply the same lens to Y7Jo...

But Yeah x2 thank you for the opportunity to talk about it and I'm Glad It's Intelligible At Least x2

THANK YOU i really should change that tag to something better... <- i will immediately forget to do so like a jackass

BUT YA OF COURSE OF COURSE i was truthful when i said it was a real good read (but once again. i have -5 speech skills so i can't properly word SHIT) and was a thorough examination of jo's trauma and how it manifests in him and how it's exhibited through his actions. ALWAYS a big fan of that :)

nawt the first aid uni classes payin off.

Hey.

I honestly have no idea who’s going to find this, but hopefully, no one from my band. But if I’m being real, my co-drum major (or one of them… more on that later) could totally figure it out, and then I’m never living it down.

But I’m not giving anyone a reason to find me. So I’ll just sit here, with my coffee and imposter syndrome, and watch the world slowly begin to wreak havoc.

Band camp isn’t for another month or so. I can’t decide if I wish it was sooner or not. I guess not— I’m not really prepared. Scratch that—I’m not prepared one single bit.

But that’ll change soon. Hopefully.

Alright, that’s all for now. See you on the field (or not).

—theforgottendrummajor

I've spent every hour of my very lengthy commute this week zoned out thinking abt dragon age and all the little missing scenes that would characterize my current inquisitor better and like. I can't shake it. After all these years is yet ANOTHER playthru of a game I've played a zillion times finally going to force me to write fic despite my absolute lack of talent and the fact that I don't even read fic anymore???

this is me rn

bonehildabonk.png

fucking hate the way 9 outta 10 times when I get drunk I end up sobbing my eyes out cause he doesn't want me anymore

×××HOLiC Rei ~ Chapters 54~55 + Zashiki-Warashi {"H U M A N"} Look A l i k e & "Butterfly Obi"!Yuuko

"With a butterfly obi...!!" -Zashiki-warashi Look-A l i k e

“…THOUGH YOU'VE never worn those same

C L O T H E S, Y U U K O-” - Watanuki, Trailing off...

{Cap'd by Me} (Please ASK to Use/S h a r e!) {Do Not Re-post} {Do Not Remove Caption} {Do Not Re-post to Other Sites without my Permission!}

Bonus semi-'concluding' page under the 'read more'! (Contains a major spoiler):

Y'know considering the sheer amount of zombie media I consume (ha) it's surprising I've never written a zombie story. I mean, technically I did start one years and years and years ago, but it's currently judging me from the void I've yeeted all my original work into and I didn't even get 1k words into it (hel I don't think I even got to the zombies orz), so I'm choosing not to count it. XD

pinterest is not good when u want to sort 6000+ pins into sections