listen I know Heathens/Asatruar/Lokeans have to deal with all the Marvel stuff and sure that's annoying but tbh they get it light compared to what Hellenics have to go through every time some new media involving ancient Greece comes out

DAY 1850) Tron 2.0 - Credits Medley

Composer: Nathan Grigg, Wendy Carlos

Given that this is a medley; there’s lots of timesig changes but they’re more like unrelated sections from each other, often totally fading in/out or with ambiguous pauses, so I’ll just talk about each section separately.

0:00 - 1:29 is all just 4/4, frantic drums, crazy synth sound design, but no odd time really for this section.

1:29 - 1:44 i’m counting as triplets in mixed meter: 4/4, 4/4, 5/4, 5/4, 6/4, 5/4, 4/4. if you were to count those as 8ths instead of triplets it’d be more like 12/8, 12/8, 15/8, 15/8, 18/8, 15/8, 12/8 (replace the 8s with 16s if you’re going to be weird like me and count them as 16ths if you find x/16 more natural to think about for some reason) !

1:46 - 2:17 is polymetric! The syncopated bell-like synth ostinato is in 7/8, but the slower synth hits and most everything else behind it really are in 6/4. For a short bit before 2:17 I guess there’s some 5/8 polymeter in one of the synth layers also. Some other more ambiguous stuff you might be able to interpret as even further layers of polymeter but the point is like, yeah this part’s lots of layers looping in different loop lengths from each other on top of each other!

2:17 - 3:06′s at a bit faster a tempo than the previous section. Also polymetric but a lot simpler case of it. 4/4 in that metallic bell-like synth rhythm, and 6/4 polymeter in the beeps under it from 2:17 - 2:42

3:06 - 4:03, here it’s 6/4 through most of the parts of this that have enough of a rhythm to latch onto something, which only really happens starting with the echoy drums that come in at 3:31.

4:03 - 4:45 is interesting; this is taken from “FCon/The Root of the Problem (Combat)”, which is one of the tracks I have on my biiiiig queue of possible tracks to eventually post on here but never happened to ever post. I’d count this snippet of it as all 7+8, 15/16, but just being aware that there’s a constant four-on-the-floor “4/4″ kick acting “polymetric” to it from the bits at 4:15 - 4:21 / 4:27 - 4:34.

4:45 - end is all loose, but just 4/4 stuff whenever concretely countable

Hopefully I addressed everything important here! there’s a lot going on in all of these sections, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I missed an obvious polymeter layer or something and just didn’t realize it! Lots of these sections come from other tracks in the game too, so are in a bit different of a context musically from their amalgamation here. Obviously wild tempo changes between each section that i’m not bothering to write out lol

This is a great cross section of the crazy stuff present throughout this ost though, tron 2.0 is totally one of the most odd time/polymeter/etc filled game soundtracks out there. Part of that’s obvious influence from Wendy Carlos’s original score to the 1982 film being much like that (and this game borrowing a lot of the material she wrote), but Nathan Grigg’s style is always full of that kinda thing as well, and he only adds to that intricacy in his original additions to the mix!

For all those reasons I thought this would be a pretty good sort-of-sendoff for this blog i’ve been running for over 5 years...........

....so...

...!

...THE FINAL DAY sort of...! As I said many posts ago (https://vgm-in-irregular-time-of-the-day.tumblr.com/post/623135939348365312/day-1828-shining-force-cd-track-25-composer) [probably a better read than my post right now here today], this will be my final post that’s in the “1 song presented with a text post daily” format; I’ll take a break but I will eventually shift to talking about this again in (most likely) YT video vgm mixes, including other related content besides just the very specific odd timesig stuff in vgm too!

Thank you to everyone who has supported me all this time! ULTRA SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO CHz who has helped me out with this blog FAR more than anyone could possibly imagine, he’s done far more work than anyone ever needed to do, far beyond my expectations to help me along with this. And he doesn’t get enough credit for that, this blog would’ve probably died a long time ago without chz’s help. Thank you so much CHz for all your assistance! Sharing me things you remember when I’m in desperate need of a new track to post at the last minute, uploading so much music for me, helping me organize so much, writing out timesig charts for me so many times, sharing overwhelmingly huge amounts of odd time vgm with me, probably even more than anyone else. So many other things all these years you’ve helped me with on here, I can’t thank you enough!

That said, thank you to EVERYONE who has shared odd time vgm with me (and this is like, a LOT of people, far too many to list, and i’m sure plenty would be uncomfortable being listed too, so i won’t subject this post to that).

I’m very bad at responding to PMs and other messages sent to me; I apologize greatly if i’ve left you hanging for months...or years...or forever. I’m just bad at that form of communication lol, but I’ve read the majority of what’s been sent and still try to keep as much as possible in my big list backlog of stuff to eventually post. I get excited and happy when I see people linking me new odd time vgm i’ve never heard and stuff like that; so if i’ve never responded or never posted stuff you’ve linked me here, please know that I actually do appreciate it even if i might not show it haha. I’ve honestly mostly only maintained this blog pretty sporadically and rely heavily on queuing everything in advance on occasion, rather than constant observation of it.

Once i shift to the new format of presentation i’ll still include the suggestions that’ve been linked to me, and stuff. I’ll maybe try to be more communicative in the future now that i’m not going to be bogged down by the load of keeping a constant daily stream of these posts. (though i probably won’t be paying too much attention to tumblr for a while during my break from doing this stuff)

thank you to everyone for every positive comment, every intent to help by sharing, and just...general inquisitiveness and enthusiasm about this THING i’m doing for no reason! This is all literally just me nerding out about my favorite combination of niche subjects together “proggy/mathy/etc music” and “video game music” at the same time as each other. I never expected this would get anything close to the following it’s gotten, but now occasionally it’ll get pointed out that this blog is me in some group i’m in or something and 5 people will be like “WAIT...that’s YOU?! I’ve been watching that blog for years!” or something; like i’m really startled by how many people follow this sometimes lol.

Really thankful for everyone showing interest in me just being me, having fun talking about things i like in music. I hope that can continue even if i’ll be changing what I talk about and how I talk about it!

It might be quite a while before I return to doing this kind of thing again, and it’ll definitely be a much less constant pace, but I think that trade-off be worth it. I’ll return to making posts here again when I finally have new stuff to post, big video mixes with animated visual transcriptions or WHATever i wind up doing (probably a new dedicated youtube channel for the new stuff too) and stuff! I’ll find out what that will be when I get there

Thank you all for everything!

THank you!

WOW

THANKJ YOU for all 5 years of this website being a fun place to post music i like inside of

BYE

OH WAIt here’s my twitter/soundcloud/etc links and stuff if you want to contact me in a place i’ll be far more attentive to than tumblr, since i won’t be paying attention to here for a while:

https://twitter.com/chimeratio_

https://soundcloud.com/chimeratio

ok now ACTUALLY BYE

THANK YOUI

(thank you part 2)

@sebastianshaw​ asked  A, C, G, L, P , Q, S, T, W

A: Who are their exes? Do they still keep in touch?

It sounds funny to Tony, when he says he only has two exes and they’re both women. Well how can that be? He’s a gay man, and he’s never had sex with a woman, but both of his exes are women, and both of them (rightfully) pin the downfall of their relationship on him. 

At least with Wendy, they ended somewhat amicably, even if he stood at the front of that church for two and a half hours, waiting for her, worried that something had happened to her. When her bridesmaid had shown up and told him that Wendy was calling the wedding off, it had been a relief. Tony hadn’t really wanted to be married anyhow. It was just what had been expected of him, and that was the wrong reason to get married, the wrong reason to trap someone with him, tie them down.

Jeanne... well, what could he say about the woman who had accused him of murdering her father, who had tried to get him locked in prison for a crime he hadn’t committed? He didn’t blame her at all. After everything he’d done to her, the lies that he had told her, he’d deserved to be treated the way he was, to be accused of murder, to be treated however she saw fit. Hell, if she’d wanted to kill him, he wouldn’t have blamed her. He was the reason her father was dead. 

Not being in contact with either of them was what was best for them, and him. They deserved better and he- well all he wanted was peace. He didn’t want fighting, didn’t want to feel the need to justify his actions. He’d done what he’d done, and it was terrible. He knew that. He could never take that back. Best for all of them if they just moved on.

C: If they had to pick one sport to play/watch which would it be?

Getting into football had been an accident. He’d needed to pick a sport when he was at RIMA and he hated riflery with a passion. But he could throw a ball like no one’s business, so he’d joined the football team. When he’d discovered that he was actually good at it- well it had taken care of his bullying problem almost immediately. No one wanted to bully the star quarterback, even if he was only a freshman with ADHD and behavior problems. 

Maybe that’s why he loved it so much. Football had been his sanctuary, the thing that had saved him from being harassed by the other kids. No one liked the rich kid, no matter that most of the other kids were also from well-off families. No one liked that he knew more about war than they did, despite not coming from a military family. No one liked that he was constantly making jokes, that he couldn’t hold still in class.

Oh, but they liked him on the field. When he threw that ball in a perfect spiral, everyone liked him then. That was when everyone cheered his name, wanted to be his friend. Football made him popular, in a way that he’d never thought he would be. It was amazing, how much people changed the second they discovered he was good at the sport. He just wanted to bask in it, in the praise that they heaped upon his head. It was such a nice change from the derision that was usually pointed at him, he didn’t think anyone would blame him.   

G: What was their first job? 

It was a busy Friday night. He was late to work because of the football game, the same football game that meant that they were busy. He skidded into the kitchen wearing his post-game sweatshirt and apologized in rapidfire Spanish, pulling off the sweatshirt and hanging it up, grabbing his apron instead. There was a sink full of dishes, but he was good with that. It wouldn’t take him long to wash them all up, get everything clean. He was good at that, at physical work like that. He’d had a lot of practice.

Tia Maria came and patted him on the shoulder, congratulated him on the big win, and Tony smiled at her, his entire face brightening. He loved this job, loved the family that he’d come to have here, the people he’d befriended. Between Maria and Pablo, the owners of the restaurant, he never went hungry. They were always sending him home with food, and Joaquin was always teaching him how to make new recipes when they had some downtime. There wouldn’t be any downtime tonight, but that was okay. He was ready to work. That’s what he was paid to do, after all.

L: How often do they post on their social media accounts? 

Twitter was a new thing to him, but he liked it. He could follow all his favorite actors, comment on their movies. He’d once upset Mark Hamill by mentioning the Star Wars Holiday Special, something his Nonna had gifted him with when he was six. 

He didn’t post often though. He couldn’t afford to. He was still an undercover agent, after all, and he couldn’t afford to blow his cover. Risking his job for the sake of posting a few selfies seemed dumb, childish and immature, and Tony wasn’t about to do that. It wasn’t safe, for the people that he protected when he went undercover. It was why he didn’t have a Facebook, or any other social media outlet. It wasn’t like he knew anybody he would want to keep in contact with using social media. The only frat brother he was still friends with was Steve, and they called each other on the phone, met for coffee. There wasn’t the need for social media. 

Maybe he was just old. He didn’t see the point behind these websites he would never use, though. They weren’t for him. 

P: What are their thoughts on going vegan? Could they do it?

He’d gone kosher after Ziva started working for NCIS. It was an easy change to make for him. The hardest thing to give up was shellfish, but he’d made the adjustment. It was just easier. They didn’t always label their lunches, had habits of grabbing whatever bag was in the fridge and just eating what was inside, no care for whose it was. Tony wasn’t about to make Ziva eat something that she couldn’t because he was too selfish to give up pork, too selfish to adjust his diet. 

But vegan? He had no problem with vegetables. There were certain times of the year, centered around certain Jewish holidays, where Tony didn’t cook with meat at all. But that had everything to do with the fact that Ziva was always grateful when she grabbed his lunch and it was something she could eat, saving her the trouble of having to order out, hoping that the Jewish deli had someone who could get onto the Navy Yard. They both knew McGee wasn’t going to change the way he ate, so Ziva grabbing his lunch was out of the question.

Still, vegan... as much as he loved vegetables, Tony also loved meat, loved the taste of it, the way it added flavor to his food. He had no problem with other people going vegan, that was their choice. It wasn’t the healthiest dietary choice they could make, and that was coming from the athletic nutrition courses he’d taken when he was studying for his degree, but it wasn’t the worst either. It just- it wasn’t for him. He needed proteins from meat, needed the flavor too. He respected the choices others made for their own bodies but it wasn’t for him, that was for sure.  

Q: Do they have a good luck charm they often have with them? 

It was stupid. The thing had been given to him as a joke. Holding onto it was just silly. But there it sat, on the corner of his desk where everyone could see it, where it had sat for years, since his Captain in Baltimore had given it to him. He didn’t even like Mighty Mouse, had never seen the show. So why was it that the stapler meant so much to him? He couldn’t rightfully say. But the thought of getting rid of it-

He couldn’t do it. That stapler had been there through too many rough cases, too many cases that Tony shouldn’t have solved, by all accounts, but he still had. He’d used it on too many reports that he never should’ve been able to close. Maybe it was dumb, to consider a little blue and red piece of metal and plastic his good luck charm, but he did. Some cops had their St. Michael medallions, and he respected that, but he wasn’t Catholic, and he’d never really believed in the saints. 

His stapler though. His stapler brought him luck. It brought him success. He loved his stapler. Even after it came out that the Captain was a dirty cop, Tony couldn’t get rid of his stapler. It had seen too much, had done too much for him. The stapler and he, they were a team. He wasn’t going to give up on it. It hadn’t given up on him.

S: How do they tell someone they’re sorry?

Rule 6 existed for a reason. Never say you’re sorry. So Tony had to find other ways to apologize when he screwed up, because he screwed up a lot. He couldn’t just not apologize and move on. Because while Gibbs may hate apologies, he also hated it when Tony ignored his mistakes, completely acted like everything was normal. It was a tricky game he was playing, a complicated dance, but he was figuring it out, slowly but surely.  

He didn’t apologize anymore, not after the first half dozen times those words had passed his lips. No, now he owned up to his mistakes and sucked it up when the slap came to the back of his head, biting back the wince that was inevitable. Gibbs never pulled his punches with Tony the way he did with McGee and Ziva. 

“Right boss. Won’t happen again, boss.” That’s what Gibbs wanted to hear, the only apology he would accept. It left a dirty taste in Tony’s mouth, but if that’s what Gibbs wanted, that’s what Tony would do. This wasn’t about Tony’s preferred method of apology, it was about what Gibbs wanted.

T: How quick are they to cry?

He didn’t cry after Kate died. He was emotionally drained, but he didn’t cry. He didn’t think that he could, too drained and angry at the world, at Ari, at Gibbs, at himself. He couldn’t cry. He could only think about revenge, about getting back at the bastard who had taken his partner away from him.

He did cry when Jeanne left him. He’d loved her, in his own way. Loved her as best as he could. But everything he’d ever told her had been a lie. Everything about himself, about their relationship, about all of it. It had all been a lie. How could he have loved her if he had lied to her constantly, if he hadn’t been honest with her? So why did losing her feel the way it did? He hadn’t ever slept with her but their relationship was something more, something emotional, something that he could just- it hurt to lose it. And he cried.

He wasn’t positive what he was crying for. Maybe it was the loss of Jeanne. Maybe it was the loss of himself. After all, he’d given up a lot of his own self respect and pride in order to go undercover the way he had. He’d sacrificed a lot of who he was in order to be who Jeanne knew. He didn’t even know who he was anymore, half the time. Maybe that was why he was crying. Maybe it was just the broken heart. He didn’t know anymore.    

W: Would they be starstruck if they met a celebrity? 

Growing up the way he did, he’d rubbed elbows with a lot of old money, people with names that would be recognized. He’d met a lot of people who others would consider famous, and it had been just another Tuesday for him. It wasn’t unusual for Senior to namedrop someone important, even today, wasn’t unusual for Tony himself to have connections that went beyond what a normal NCIS agent would have. He didn’t think anything of it.

He wasn’t the type to really care about somebody’s fame. Why would he, when he’d grown up around money? He’d gone to school with Frank Sinatra’s nephew, the closest he’d gotten to knowing the man himself, and he’d never once freaked out about it. The kid was a bully, and Tony hadn’t wanted anything to do with him, even if his uncle was one of the coolest singers he’d ever heard. 

Maybe it was a rich kid thing, a money thing. Maybe it was a Tony thing. Fame and money just didn’t matter to him. Not really, not anymore. Maybe they never had.  

Her

It was like June 2020 when I started playing with Kristine. That was also the time na she got laid off so we got the chance na magkalaro sa game full time. It was also the time na, I slowly opened up to her. Because I have strong walls eh, I do not let people come in my life easily. Since Kristine looks sincere and a listener to me, I gave her the way to get in. I talk about my rants about how my day goes and my relationship status with Joan. There is something about her that makes me want to know her more. There are many things na napagkakasunduan namin that leads to laughing and feeling na magaan lang kausap. I also liked that she is interested in the Game that I am playing, We shared things from the moment she started playing pc games back then, her ex gf's, her dramas in life, her fam, her girlfriend but not too much of it. She shares her problem too, the same goes with me.

Back then, I got curious about Kristine because of the stories that I have heard from Joan about her and her ex-gf and the toxicity of her relationship with Rose.

I admit she got my sympathy. Reminded me of my past relationship and how she handled it. Later on, whenever Kristine goes back here in Manila for a vacation, she always invites us. So I have no choice but to go with Joan though I am way too shy na makihalubilo sa mga tao.

By the first time that I met Kristine she was with her ex-gf Siena. There was nothing special or any thing that I felt. I was just nervous meeting her. Idk. Because I feel like she is intimidating. It was just a stage of knowing her, but she was nice naman. That time I remember Joan blocked her on my fb friend's list because of some reasons that i am not sure of, like Jealousy. Joan is always jealous which make me feel like hindi ako katiwa tiwalang tao. Lol. Grabe lang. And since then, Kristine unblocked me.

Way back 2018, I casually message her, like saying Hi, Hello, a little update of my day, and a little sharing of how me and Joan is doing.

I remember that it was also the time that she is trying to open up about her problems with Siena and so i made a GC where me, Joan and tine are messaging so she will not think too much back in Dubai.

I think she was on the verge of breaking up with Siena?

I have work back then so our exchange of messages was not that constant.

Joan used to rant at Kristine about me and how our life have been, which I do not like. Kasi nahihiya ako na kailangan pa ilabas ang mga bagay bagay na hindi naman dapat. There are times I feel uncomfortable kapag sinasabihan din ako ni Tine about our probs. But i just shrugged it off na lang.

It was also the time that I am focus to Joan too.

'Til Pandemic came. I am so happy may kalaro na ako sa game and that is her. Most of the time we play during afternoons, we also got the chance to try voice call each other on Messenger.

Then there goes the story, we talk a lot, shared a lot and our game time is way fun because she is a good team mate.

She was a good listener. And she understands me. Not all the time she is in favor of me, there are times she helps me understand things.

But most of the time, She makes me feel valid.

August came and Joan celebrated her birthday.

September and I celebrated mine, and I received a gift from her, it was a cake. She told me in Whatsapp that it was for me only. She just made it look like it was also for Joan since she never gave her any present last month.

October came, and I decided to make a surprise for her birthday, I'm talking about Kristine here. And so I did. We call her through VC in Messenger and I greeted her in my Facebook Gaming page, and made an appreciation post for her in my IG, which she really liked.

November came and I broke my thoughts to her. It was my nephew's birthday, Ethan.

I told her through Whatsapp that I liked her. That I liked her back then because of some reasons like, She went through hell in her relationships yet she stood up, etc. and my curiosity ate me.

I told her I might not feel uncomfortable talking to her because she already knew my secret that I like her. Then Kristine said, Bakit naman?

I asked her am I not likeable? She answered me, it's not that I am not likeable, she also said that she knew that I am a good person, and she reminded me that it was wrong. I told her I have no intentions of ruining her and Kamille. I just wanted her to know that I liked her, period.

Then we played a game, shared some secrets and stuff, because I started to trust her na.

Then as days goes by, we play constant and we talk mostly.

She even shared to me the time she went to sleep over with workmates because Kamille and her had an argument. We had our first Video Call in Messenger the next day before she go to work. Send me photos that I asked her too cause I am not seeing her lately.

We still talk even at her work hours, I listen to her work rants and stuff.

Then came an issue of this gaming headset that she wants to give me without malice as claimed by Kristine. Joan did not like the gesture. So, we talked secretly and talk about it. We agreed not to pursue the headset anymore.

December came and yah, we still play. I found out she resigned at her work.

I had an issue with a basher of my page, so I have to deactivate my gaming page and make an investigation who the hell is she.

So my attention draws closer to the game itself and also Kristine. and stop streaming for a while, She decided to install the Global server instead of using Garena for months because she is running out of VPN's to use for free anymore.

I felt like we have this kind of understanding where she gets me. And she agreed. But sometimes she sends me mixed signals.

I came to a point where I became confused.

I felt the need to share this because I am having these "time bomb" like feelings that if I cannot find a way to consult it to other person i am gonna explode and became clingy at her.

So I brought my classmate back in High School named Annarie, who prefers to call herself Pacsy. We play in Garena sometimes and we chat in Messenger too. I shared her my thoughts about Kristine. And I decide to her to be like the observant of the girl I liked if she feels the same way to me.

There are times that I felt jealous whenever there is a guy flirting with her on the game and sometimes she makes me feel that she is jealous too when I do the same.

And then came February, we had an argument.

My thoughts went confused, concern at Pacsy, and at the same time jealous.

Felt bad because we made a promise to each other to be open and not keep secrets. But things fail.

I broke down and cried.

Then came Joan who confronted Kristine, and Pacsy without me knowing it because I was asleep when Joan hacked my phone. I lost all of my phone datas and apps.

And I did not like it. Joan should have talked the proper way but instead choose to hysterical all the time.

She discovered that, there is something between me and Kristine based on our exchange of chats in Messenger.

Since I'm woman enough to admit my fault, I did.

I admit that I fell to Kristine.

Joan blocked her in my Messenger first.

And next is IG.

CODM became an exception.

It was a week of pain and confusion and discoveries.

I have discovered that She admits that she felt the same way for me.

That she doesn't want to lose me too.

That I am important to her, that she thinks of me by the time we lost our communication for like a week and more.

She was the one who initiated a contact.

I knew in my heart she wants it.

Let me just have a detailed flashback:

FEB 17: That night, we played, me, Pacsy and her. Dhanush invited me. I said sorry to them. And Kristine drop this line that it will be the last time she will talk to US. So I distant myself.

FEB 18: It was like 5pm, I called Pacs and I apologized to her of what happened and I cried because of what I feel in my situation. I told her, it was so hard to tell Joan that I fell in-love with her friend.

I asked Pacs not to update Kristine about me anymore because I wanna distant too.

FEB 18: 10:30 PM Pacsy texted me that Ktine asked her a favor to tell me that Joan is attacking her on messenger. I just said, it was noted.

FEB 19: Vertigo attacked me.

FEB 26: I received an XP rewards from Kristine. Just to be clear, giving away XP rewards is customized, you are the one who will choose who to give it to. And with that gesture, I knew in my heart she wants to talk and play with me. The past days Dhanush has been chatting me whenever he is playing with her. I told Dhanush I cant because she does not want to talk to me anymore and I wanna keep my distance too.

FEB 27-28

I played in CODM that night and I message her in the app, and invited her to play. Just a duo. At first she said, "Hi joan." then I told her, "Hindi nuh, hahaha." Then we play both off mic. And I notice she is messaging me while playing and says she misses me. "imy" I asked her "Kumusta" etc. At first I did not want to answer back I miss her too, because I am doubtful that it might be Kamille who's playing, but again, I knew it was her. So I told her, I miss this duo. Then she replied ":(".

Its like we had 2 games only, I said goodbye yet she tried to invite me again for another round for a squad with Dhanush but I have to leave the app and so I did.

FEB 29

We talked in CODM Global server app. We did not play instead we just talked. She told me she created an account in deviantart.com which is a website for artists, I actually have account there for art purposes. However she cant find my account there so I suggest how about Twitter. She opened up to me that day, as I remember, she apologized to me of the things she have done like how she cracked my secret to Joan etc. She said she does not normally say sorry to anyone yet she is doing it for me that day. I asked her if, "hindi ba kapani paniwala kapag ako ang nagsabi na mahal kita?"

She answered, she feels things the same way. She understands that my IG stories was for her mostly, and I claimed it. She told me she was scared to lose communication with me, that sometimes she feels like she's using another person just to get connected at me. And I get what she is saying. She said that she felt something for me.

I am sorry but the words we shared felt like... there is something.

Days have gone by, We played again. However I am hiding it.

I made a letter for her by using a website app. I told her everything there.

We also both made a Twitter account. Obviously, we missed each other.

This Place Is Not My Home

TMA fic. After a very long day, Elias returns to his living space... which he doesn’t recognize at all. Luckily, he has a few companions by his side to help him figure things out.

Follow-up to A Rude Awakening and The Blind Meeting The Blind.

on AO3

Elias knew every square inch of his flat, which would probably be more impressive if the place wasn’t so damn tiny.

Objectively speaking, it wasn’t much to write home about, he knew. The space was cramped, the wallpaper was peeling, the hot water supply was iffy at best, it was freezing in the winter and sweltering in the summer no matter how he configured the thermostat, and there was always the lingering scent of mildew and weed (he was trying to cut down on his use of the latter--mostly because it was an expensive habit, partly because he was afraid the smell would catch on his work clothes and James would notice and he’d get in trouble for it--but, well, old habits die hard)...

It was a shitty flat, sure. But it was his shitty flat. Elias didn’t share it with anyone, didn’t have to leech off his trust fund or beg his father for help just to pay the rent. It was a space all his own, one he had earned the right to reside in, one that he worked to maintain as best he could, one where he could relax and unwind after a long day of work without any fear of interruption.

Or, at least, that was how things had been back in 1996. Which felt like it had been only hours ago, but had in fact been all of twenty-three years in the past now.

He still had a flat of his own in 2019, but it wasn’t the same one. It was more centrally-located, for one, compared to his old place, which had always required a lengthy Tube ride to get to work at the Institute. It was on the top floor of a skyscraper, with what was apparently a spectacular view of downtown London, not that Elias himself would ever get to appreciate it.

And it was utterly foreign to him.

It smelled like old books and cleaning supplies, it was actually a reasonable enough temperature inside (slightly warm for Elias’ tastes, but then, he always did tend to be on the warm side), and Elias was pretty sure that a single room in the place could easily contain his entire flat from 1996 with room to spare.

At least he wasn’t there alone when he arrived. Jon and Martin had gone off to do... something with the rest of the night (Elias’ money was on them snogging, or possibly doing more than snogging, though he couldn’t say for sure), but Basira, Daisy, and, to his surprise, even Melanie had agreed to accompany him as he entered what had apparently been “his” living space for years now for the first time.

Admittedly, it became immediately apparent that at least one of them had an ulterior motive for volunteering to help Elias.

“What can I break in here?”

Elias instinctively turned towards Melanie, though he knew well enough that she couldn’t see the gesture any more than he could see the expression on her face. “Wow, rude.”

“I mean, I’ve been dreaming for a while now of going to Elias- er, going to Jonah Magnus’ home and trashing the place. And now he’s dead and everything, and this place practically smells like money... c’mon, let me have this. It’s not even your stuff.”

“It literally is my stuff though. I mean, I might not have picked it out, but legally speaking-”

“Right, because you all are so big on following the law, aren’t you?”

Elias wasn’t sure what exactly Melanie was referencing there, but he could definitely feel an uncomfortable tension settle over the room just the same.

“Just let me break something.”

“Nobody’s breaking anything in my flat.” Elias paused, considering what monstrosities might well be waiting inside, especially given what he now knew about Jonah Magnus’ proclivities. “At least not without getting my permission first.”

“You’re no fun.”

Elias probably would have rolled his eyes at that, if he had them. As it was, he let out an exaggerated sigh and trudged further inside.

It took less than a minute before Elias heard the clang of metal striking marble.

“Elias, can I-”

Elias’ shoulders tensed up a little as he prepared for the inevitable question from Melanie, but her speech stopped suddenly, and when it restarted it was softer and shakier.

“I’m sorry, that just- it sounds wrong, to me, I promised myself I’d never ask Elias for anything again, and I know you’re not the same Elias Bouchard but it’s still weird somehow-”

Elias scratched the back of his head nervously. “You could call me Eli, if that’d help. Some of my old school mates used to call me that. ‘s no skin off my back.”

Admittedly, he hadn’t been called that since he was a teenager, which felt like ages ago, and the wrinkles that were starting to cover his skin were proof that it was even longer ago than it felt...

...but Elias remembered those days fondly, remembered how his father would protest because “We named you Elias because we wanted you to be called Elias!” and how that only made him cling to the nickname more fervently in a fit of teenage rebellion, and it felt right, somehow.

Plus, whatever steps he could take to avoid being confused for Jonah Magnus again, Elias would gladly take in a heartbeat.

“Alright then. Sure. Eli, can I break this?”

“You’re gonna have to tell me what ‘this’ is first.”

“Metal statue of a person wearing robes, it’s got eyes and a smile but no nose, which is surprisingly creepy-”

“First off, what’s your plan for breaking a statue made of metal?”

The long hesitation before Melanie’s response was practically an answer in and of itself.

“I’m sure I can figure something out.”

“Aaaand that’s a no from me.”

Melanie let out a huffy sigh.

“Try again?” Elias said in a more encouraging tone.

“Speaking of creepy, get a load of that painting.”

Elias jumped a little at the sound of Daisy’s voice; he’d been so focused on talking to Melanie and making sure she only destroyed things that deserved it that he’d half-forgotten that Daisy and Basira were there as well. The two of them could be surprisingly quiet when they wanted to be, apparently.

“What painting?” Elias asked.

“It’s hanging in the middle of the hallway, old guy wearing fancy Victorian-looking clothes. Dunno who it is, but I don’t like the look in his eyes.”

Daisy and Basira took a few steps closer to the painting in question.

“I think...” Basira let out a soft gasp. “I know who that is. God.”

“Who is it?”

“Jonah Magnus. The original. I read up on the history of the Institute back when I first joined, I remember that face. The smirk’s familiar enough too.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“He put a painting of himself in his front hallway? Seriously?”

“Apparently. Not terribly subtle, was he?”

Melanie cleared her throat loudly. “Can I?”

Elias let out a shaky laugh as he replied, “Please.”

The painting was taken off the wall, in a way that sounded like it might have scraped against the paint on the way down, but the state of the paint on the walls of his flat was the least of Elias’ concerns right about now. It got handed to Melanie, who wasted no time in attacking it; the sound of a knife stabbing canvas was a peculiar one, but after a few solid stabs she went from stabbing to ripping, the noise indistinct enough that Elias wasn’t sure if she was still using the knife or was tearing the painting apart with her bare hands.

After a minute or two of tearing, small pieces of what had once been a painting landing on the floor with soft thumps periodically, Melanie wiped her hands on her pants and said, “God, that felt good.”

After a brief pause, she added, “Thanks, I guess. I take back that time I got Tim to call you Elias Douchard-”

“Never heard that one before.” Elias said in the driest tone he could muster.

“-and then he posted it on Twitter dozens of times over--he was so proud of himself, too, even though it wasn’t even his idea--think he got a couple hundred retweets out of it, more than I expected really...”

Elias knew he was going to respond with a question, because how could he not after an apology/confession like that thrust upon him without warning, and two possibilities for what that question might be stood out to him.

This was the first time he’d heard the name Tim--from Melanie, from anyone in 2019--and Elias was naturally curious as to who that might be... but whoever Tim was, he clearly wasn’t a part of their little gang anymore, though it sounded as though he once had been, and regardless of the specifics of how exactly this Tim was forced out of the picture, it was almost certainly an unpleasant story that would bring down the mood right when things were finally starting to get a little less somber.

So instead, Elias went for the safe option.

“What’s Twitter?”

Basira let out a soft snort, and Daisy said, “Oh, you sweet summer child...”

“It’s a website--social media thing, the gimmick is you can only write so much--but that’s not the point.”

“What is the point, then?” Elias asked, a hint of teasing in his voice.

“...I’m sorry, I guess? I mean, that’s on the Internet forever now. That’s your- your Internet legacy.”

“If a childish pun being part of my ‘Internet legacy’ is the biggest problem I have to face from all of this, I’ll be damn lucky.”

“Fair point.”

They made their way through the hallway and into another room--The living room? Family room? God, Elias didn’t even know the layout of the place well enough to tell--before Basira spoke up.

“Giant eye tapestry on the couch... he really wasn’t subtle, was he? Or maybe he just thought he was being clever...”

“Go for it.” Elias said, a wry smile on his face.

“I- I wasn’t actually-” Basira laughed a little there. Had he heard her laugh before? If so, he couldn’t remember. It had a nice ring to it. “I was just making a comment, but you know what, sure, I’ll destroy it for you.”

“Good. Probably not in the best taste to have eye stuff all over when, well, you’ve got none.”

Elias had meant the comment to be a light-hearted one, but an awkward silence fell over the room. (He still didn’t know which of the group had done the actual eye-gouging bit--and rather preferred it that way, to be honest--but it belatedly occurred to him that it might be a sore point for more than just him, especially since Melanie’d gone through much the same thing.)

The sound he heard from Basira after she grabbed the tapestry off the couch was a much smaller one than he’d expected, a far cry from the grand spectacle of stabbing and ripping that Melanie had performed, and Elias wasn’t even sure what the sound was until he smelled smoke and heard a series of crackling sounds. A lighter opening and flicking on, then, and fire beginning to consume the fabric. She was burning it, then. Sensible enough, he supposed, though...

“Don’t go burning this whole place down, you hear me?”

“I’ll try not to.”

“If you do, you’ll have to replace everything in it for me, you know. Even the spooky shit.” Elias paused briefly, more for effect than to actually consider his next words. “Especially the spooky shit.”

“And bankrupt myself halfway through?” Basira snorted. “Nice try, rich guy.”

Elias let out a hollow laugh, but he couldn’t bring himself to continue their banter further. Basira probably didn’t know it--aside from the general outline of things, he hadn’t gotten that into his life story with them, probably knew more about each of them than they did about the real him--but it wasn’t the first time he’d had his wealth thrown at him as an insult, and maybe it was a stupid thing to be sensitive about, being mocked for being a trust fund kid, but he was sensitive about it just the same.

After a brief pause, probably the others taking the time to realize that Elias wasn’t planning on speaking up anymore, they went back to trudging through the flat, Basira and Daisy giving an ongoing commentary on what was to be found in there. Elias had had his fair share of money before, but it sounded like Jonah Magnus went above and beyond even the usual shows of wealth he was used to. Everything was luxurious and bespoke and impeccably-made. The sight was probably breath-taking, though Elias wouldn’t know, and those who did were hardly in the mood for admiration.

Meanwhile, Elias had grown used to towels filled with holes around his place, partly because replacing them all would make finances difficult for a bit without dipping into his father’s money one way or another, partly because he was just too lazy to bother with hunting down replacement towels in his free time outside of work.

This was... going to be a bit of an adjustment.

“Mantle’s got some big-eyed Russian nesting dolls-”

“Matryoshka.” Basira muttered.

Elias could hear the grin on Daisy’s face as she repeated, “Yeah, like I said, Russian nesting dolls. Don’t like them one bit, something about their expression... Unlike some people-” And here Elias was sure Daisy was staring at and/or gesturing towards Melanie, not that she’d know any better than he did. “-I didn’t come here to break things, but destroying those would probably put me a little more at ease.”

“Sure, why not.” Elias said, a slight sigh in his voice as he wondered how much of a mess the flat--his flat--was going to be by the time the others were done breaking things in it.

Part of Elias was curious to see how exactly Daisy would go about demolishing the nesting dolls that made her so uneasy. Would she go Melanie’s route, stabbing and smashing them until they were unrecognizable? Or something subtler, like Basira’s flames, quiet but still sure in their destruction?

Elias jumped when he heard the gunshot, flinching as the dolls shattered to pieces. He instinctively threw his hands up in front of his face protectively, only lowering them slowly when he heard Daisy softly laughing.

“I- I thought you knew-” she stammered out between laughs.

“That you had a gun? No, I didn’t! Why do you have a gun, anyway?”

Daisy didn’t respond, but as her laughs quieted somewhat Basira joined in with her own, and Elias began to slump down, feeling that somehow he was the one who crossed a line here...

...until Melanie spoke up to defend him when he himself felt too awkward to speak.

“It’s not really that funny, you guys. And it’s a valid question, you know, if you’re- him.”

That emboldened Elias enough for him to speak for himself again. “New rule: no using guns in my house. Didn’t think I needed to specify that, but apparently I do.”

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry.”

“And why do you have a gun?”

“It’s... it’s complicated.”

“Everything’s complicated with you lot, isn’t it?”

“Like you’re one to talk.” Basira muttered, and Elias could feel his face heating up; rather than respond, though, he just walked onward, forcibly changing the subject as yet more of Jonah Magnus’ household arrangement was uncovered.

They stopped asking to break things, after that, though Elias offered things up for destruction once or twice when they sounded particularly offensive. He realized, as the conversation moved forward, that he hadn’t been the one who had crossed a line there after all, and that they’d probably realized as much as well. Things were calmer, then, a mood of inquisitive exploration rather than righteous destruction.

As Elias walked from room to room of what was now his flat, learning more about what was in it, how perfectly coordinated it all was, how much wealth had clearly been poured into making it just right... it didn’t feel like the space he was exploring was his own. Description after description of the tasteful and mildly eccentric conversation pieces to be found on a number of surfaces there seemed familiar, but not as things Elias himself would have chosen. It felt uncomfortably like this was all his father’s stuff, that perhaps his father had died (had his father died? Elias still didn’t know either way) and he had inherited his old living space. It was an easier scenario to wrap his head around than the reality of things, but not one that really made him feel any better about it all.

Elias would make it his own space eventually, sure, but that would take time, time and effort, and Elias felt like he had used up enough of both already by just getting himself through the day more or less intact.

For now, though, he dragged his hands along the row of suits (”Does this man own a single pair of sweatpants? I know I sure did--what’d he do with them all, bag them all up and give the lot to Oxfam?”), and when Basira noted dryly that he was getting blood on them, he didn’t hesitate in his response.

“Good. That’s a quality aesthetic right there. Imagine me going into a room of businessmen with my fancy bloodstained suit. What are they going to do, point it out, ask where the blood came from?”

He got a few laughs from that, and an appreciative murmur of “Hell of a power move” from Melanie, so that felt like a success, at least. Bloodstains weren’t the kind of mark he really wanted to leave on this place, but it was something, at least. It was... it was a start.

Eventually, the whole of the flat--which was huge, a much bigger space than Elias needed or even really wanted--had been fully explored, and after a bit of awkward discussion, Basira, Daisy, and Melanie left him on his own. It had been a long day, and Elias didn’t hesitate to head to his bed.

The mattress was almost obscenely soft, a far cry from the uncomfortable solid block of a mattress Elias was used to, and it had an imprint in it that fit Elias’ shape perfectly, if he slept on his back. Which he didn’t. Elias was strictly a side sleeper, though he switched which side he slept on periodically, often tossing and turning and switching between the two in the middle of the night.

Elias curled onto his right side and clung to those too-soft sheets and thought about what now was and what had been.

For all the wealth contained within the space that Jonah Magnus had curated as his own over the years, Elias would have gladly traded it all to be back in his shitty, cheap, cramped, falling-apart flat from 1996, to be somewhere that was truly his once more.

He’d never thought he’d wax nostalgic over that flat, had figured he’d be glad to be rid of it once he could get something better, but... well...

Life wasn’t always that simple, was it?

I dont know why im doing this

But fuck it because im an obsessive bitch and dont know better

The Confirmed Timeline For All This Bullshit So Far

Sometime Prior to Febuary 2018

-Heidi and Jared enter a polygamous relationship. Heidi meets and has another partner while Jared (presumably) does not. (According to messages gathered on Jared’s subreddit, it seems he had at least one other partner while he and Heidi became polygamous. Both the partner(s) and Jared indicate they had Heidi’s approval beforehand.)

Feb. 8th (i think) 2018

(yeah i know, i just cant remember when it was but it was around then and guess what i can edit this so)

-Jared gets consent with Heidi to bring Holly into their whole thing. She also consents to them having sex, if they wish. Jared and Holly proceed to take a walk together and simply talk about Jared’s feelings towards Holly.

Feb. 10 2018

-Heidi, presumably frustrated with Jared, lashes out at Holly, calling her from Jared’s phone. (personal note; it still really bugs me that she would decide to scream at Holly for no other reason than talking to her husband about being a part of something she had initially permitted. Thats entirely my opinion, and im not trying to comment on her consent, i agree that anyone in a polyamorous relationship has a right to revoke, but there was no real reason for her to take out her frustration about her husband on Holly just because they talked. i dunno.) Holly attempts to apologize, but Heidi refuses, and removes her consent. It can also be assumed that around this point, Heidi possibly ceased her relationship with her other partner, but nothing proves or denies that other than Heidi’s claims and deduction. Its not fully clear when this happened.

(During this period, between February and October, Holly and Jared only personally interact with each other during DCA. Since Heidi hasnt indicated that anything was done prior to October, this seems true. So for those who keep insisting Holly cheated on Ross, sorry but youre Wrong. Additionally, over this period of time, Heidi, seemingly out of desperation, begins to threatening Jared about destroying DCA and call Holly again...for some reason? That honestly still doesn’t add up to me. Regardless, Heidi begins to confront Jared over text messages)

Sept. 19 2018

-Ross and Holly annouce their divorce for personal reasons. (Anyone who wants to start chucking in the “It was because of Jared” bombs kindly fuck off) Ross and Holly seemingly remain friends based on their interactions with each other and insist they seperated on good terms with one another. It’s unknown whether they had divorced that same month or were just announcing it after it went through. No proof has surfaced regarding the former of latter.

Oct 2018

-Sometime after Holly had moved to Washington, she and Jared begin to see each other romantically. (Im not fully sure when this happened, someone said it was like mid to late October, but theres no real proof to back that up.)

(this is where things get complicated. according to Holly, Jared was already seperated from Heidi, while Heidi claims they officially seperated in Febuary this year. to be honest, i still dont know)

May 7th 2019 (sorta)

-Heidi posts to her Facebook, announcing her and Jared’s divorce. She also mentions that she is the one filing the divorce. (Rememeber that)

May 8th 2019

-Jared announces on Twitter that he is divorcing Heidi. He doesn’t mention the reasons, and tries to keep things neutral. Heidi “responds” sometime later.

May 13th 2019

-Jared and Heidi legally divorce. According to their file on the official Washington Court Public Records website, Jared was the one who submitted the divorce form, not Heidi. He also submits, and has approved, a Temporary Restraining Order on Heidi. Heidi, when asked about it, denies its existence. (some people have pointed out that he either did this to make it seem like he was the victim, or to prevent her from accessing his financial stuff. both are plausable, but considering that they both had already split things with each other (presumably due to a prenuptial agreement or something) the latter doesnt make a lot of sense.)

aaaand thats just about it. Thats the chronological order of this huge garbage fire i just cant see to pull myself away from because im a fucking masochist and just want to feel worse.

Kiokuya (Memory Man) - Novel Spoiler (Part 1)

*While the most literal translation of Kiokuya (記憶屋) is “Memory Store”, XX-屋 can also refer to XX-man, like Koroshi-ya means hit man.  Since the story about a mysterious person, Kiokuya, it is more correct to go with the second translation: Memory Man.

You may have heard about Yamada Ryosuke being cast in a new movie, Kiokuya, which was adapted from the novel of the same name written by Origami Kyoya.  (Here’s the official website and twitter.)  The novel was released by Kadokawa Horror Publishing but was also described as a “love story” or “sad love story”. Yamada himself said that he read the novel and rather than it being “scary”, it’s more of a “human love story”. So what is it?

I’ve just read the Chinese version of the novel and I will summarize (and fully spoil) the plot after the cut.  I only read the novel once, so some of the plot might be a bit jumbled, but it shouldn't affect the story. (Or it’s the work of Memory Man! )  Based on the synopsis of the movie, it seems like there will be some changes to the novel. I don’t think they’ll change the ending though.  Anyway… final warning.  Close this if you don’t want to be spoiled.

Novel Spoilers are divided into 4 parts due to length. Here are the links for the other 3 parts:

Part 2 - “at present 1″, “Episode 2″, “at present 2″ Part 3 - “Episode 3″, “at present 3″ Part 4 - “Episode 4, “Epilogue”

Sorry, this ended up being almost like an abridged version of the light novel. I’ll post the remaining parts over the next week. One interesting thing is that the author is a lawyer by trade and a writer in her spare time. That’s probably why the chapter headings have legal terms. (They were originally in English to begin with.)

If you can read Chinese, here is the link for the ebook on Kobo (available to Canadians). It’s also available on books.com.tw and actual bookstores in Asia.  There is also a manga adaptation released by Gangan. You can access the sample chapter on here, which basically takes us up to the end of the first episode.  I just want to say that they could easily use Yamada’s personal wardrobe for this character.

…………

Movie Synopsis:  

University student, Yoshimori Ryoichi (Yamada), just proposed to his older lover, Sawada Kyoko (Renbutsu Misako). For some reason, he was not able to contact her the next day. A few days later, he saw Kyoko again, but she had lost all memories of Ryoichi. Unable to accept this, Ryoichi went looking for the truth about Kiokuya with his childhood friend, Kawai Maki (Yoshine Kyoko), a senpai and lawyer, Takaharu Tomoaki (Sasaki Kuranosuke). Is this the work of the urban legend, Kiokuya, a person who can take away people’s unpleasant memories.

Prologue

The first time Ryoichi heard of the Memory Man was when he was 3 years old. It seemed to be a popular folklore among the older people. Whenever one of them forgot something, his grandmother used to joke that the Memory Man must have “eaten” their memory

....

He saw a man wearing a long coat and an elementary school aged child. As the man touched her forehead, Ryoichi screamed “run”...

...

“Ryo-chan!” Maki shouted, waking him up from his slumber. His MAC was still on the urban legend forum and Maki saw this before he could close the browser.  Maki was 3 years younger than Ryoichi and was currently in high school.  They grew up across the street from each other and were very close.  

Maki said, “Oh Memory Man.  You're interested in him? You even did a timeline and everything!”

Ryoichi made some excuse about researching a paper for university about how urban legends started and spread.

Maki said, “Wow, the first sighting of Memory Man was 50 years ago?  I only heard of him about a year ago. It’s a really popular urban legend among us high school girls right now.  Do you want me to help?”

Ryoichi played it cool and pretended to be disinterested and finally managed to kick Maki out of his room.  However, he wasn’t doing this to be mean - he just wanted to protect her from finding out about Memory Man. He was very sure she was one of the three people whose memory was erased by Memory Man.  They both saw something when they were really young and Maki was inconsolable, but the next day, she was completely OK and seemed to have forgotten about it. He didn’t link this incident to Memory Man until a year ago when the second person he knew had her memory erased.  And then there was a third person.

1st Episode: Notice (1 Year Earlier)

Ryoichi was invited by his senpais to this gathering. He didn’t really want to go because he felt uncomfortable being surrounded by upperclassmen, but he went anyway. Suddenly, another senpai walked in and sat nearby. Long haired, pretty,  and carrying a pink bag, but in her hands were textbooks on psychology and neuro sciences. “Such a gap, and just my type!” Ryoichi thought.

“Are you a psychology student!?” They started chatting. They happened to both like the same baseball team, movies, etc… In other words, they totally hit it off. Ryoichi was thankful to the senpais who “forced” him to come. Then out of nowhere, Kyoko said she had to go. Ryoichi was shocked and thought it was him, but the other senpais said she didn’t usually come to these events and if she did, she would leave before it gets dark.  Ryoichi kicked himself for not even getting her email.

Luckily, they were in the same class and Ryoichi saw her again. They were chatting again and talked about the urban legends Ryoichi was looking at.  She apologized again for leaving and explained why she left so suddenly: she was scared to walk home in the dark by herself. While normally kinda passive, Ryoichi got this urge to ask her out.

“If we go watch that movie we both wanted to see right now, we can be done before dark. That's OK, right?” Ryoichi asked.

“Sorry, I can't today”

“How about Monday?”

“Sorry, I have something i need to do.”

Ryoichi was dejected.  Kyoko added “Sorry, but I am very happy you asked me.”

Ryoichi bumped into Kyoko on Monday at the hospital and she finally confessed - she had been seeing a psychologist on Monday to treat her phobia and she felt ashamed for being so scared at her age. Kyoko said, “So, do I lose any points?” Ryoichi said, “You know, let’s go watch the movie and I will walk you home.  You don’t have to be afraid.”  Kyoko agreed reluctantly.

It was dark. Ryoichi saw Kyoko pulled out a rape whistle and mace. As they walked towards her house, they passed by this dark alley. Ryoichi felt Kyoko’s body tensing, her grip on her rape whistle and mace tightened. She said (somewhat ashamed) that she was once attacked while walking down a dark alley. Even though a passerby managed to save her from being raped, she developed a crippling fear of the dark and could not walk home by herself once it got dark. She knew it was psychological and had been seeing a specialist but it did little to allay her fears.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if I can just have that memory taken away?”, Kyoko said.

Ryoichi said even though he had no experience with being attacked, he swore he would help her conquer the fear.  Kyoko nonchalantly asked about his research paper on Memory Man.  She thanked him and walked into her house.

Ryoichi researched more about Memory Man for his paper. He found an urban legend forum and joined the chat group.  Usually, urban legends are based on local folklore, or a real event that was distorted.  The popular ones typically have a being with an identifiable feature or they have a scary element, i.e. something that could happen to you. Memory Man was different. It was pretty lowkey and was only popular in a specific region - his city. There were no description of memory man and he might not be bad.  “Why would senpai mention Memory Man?”

Ryoichi and Kyoko started hanging out regularly and they would stay out later and later.  8pm, 9pm, 10pm... and Ryoichi would always walk her home right to the door.  He decided one day that maybe she was ready to face her fears.  It would be like teaching a kid to ride a bike and letting go once they are riding on their own.  He said he was going to be at this student event, but when Kyoko got there, she found out he was not able to make it. (But he was checking upon her.) It was too late for her to leave before dark, so she took the subway to the nearest station. But she was petrified when it was time for her to go. She tried leaving but was too afraid and kept turning back to the station area. She finally decided she would just stay the night at the 24 hour restaurant right by the station.  Ryoichi panicked when he saw how bad her fear was. He ran up to her and she realized what was going on. Rather than be mad at him, she was just mad at herself for being weak.  

After that time, she started talking more and more about Memory Man. She became even more untouchable. Every time they walked together, she would hold her rape whistle and mace tight. She threw herself into the research of Memory Man.

Ryoichi too, started became more active in the forums when Maki disrupted him to borrow a DVD. They talked about what the high school students know about Memory Man. What’s Memory Man? A world class hypnotist? A being that can “eat” memories? If it’s all psychological, shouldn’t Kyoko senpai be able to conquer this by herself?  (Meanwhile, Maki was all like - is she your girlfriend?)

One day, Ryoichi asked if she wanted to go out. Kyoko said, “No, there is something I need to do alone.” Ryoichi knew she was trying to meet Memory Man, who supposedly only shows up to people who needs him and when they are alone. He called Kyoko later, asking her not to do anything drastic or place her hopes on this urban legend that is probably not true.  He said he would walk her home for as long as she needs.

Kyoko said “You know, it's useless. I'm paralyzed by fear. Even when I was walking with you, I was afraid every second of it. I know you are a nice guy, but even though I know you won’t hurt me, I was still nervous. My guards are up.  I am very happy you’ve been helping me get home and that you worry about me. But I can’t do it. I know I can’t face you like this. I don’t want to only look at you as someone I rely on to protect me. I want to be able to just have a normal relationship with you.”

Ryoichi wanted to tell her to trust him, but he couldn’t get the message out.  He also knew he screwed up. That he just wanted to be a knight in the shining armour for her and forgot about her actual needs. He was an idiot and an asshole.

The next night, he walked over to her place to try and apologize, then suddenly, he saw Kyoko emerged from the dark alley alone. How could this be?

He walked up to her and said “Sawada senpai. Why didn’t you come to school?”   

Kyoko looked at him and said “Sorry, who are you?”

Ryoichi was shocked. “I’m your kouhai. We are in the same class together. I walked you home before.”

Kyoko was apologetic, laughing that she didn’t realize she was too drunk to remember him walking her home. She was like a new person and even said it was not dangerous walking in the dark in the residential area, since she could just scream if anything happened.  “Your name is Yoshimori?” She confirmed and that was the end of the encounter.

The feeling of being completely erased from someone’s memory was a bombshell to Ryoichi.  He suddenly remembered an incident from the past. Maki was crying, so Ryoichi took her to her grandfather’s. The next day, he asked if she was OK, but she completely forgot. It was like the incident was wiped off her mind.  Now it was happening again with Kyoko.  He was completely gone from her memories. His chest tightened and he had this uneasy feeling, disgust even, about Memory Man.

Ryoichi saw Kyoko in class a couple of days later. She was talking with friends about going to an alumni speaker event. The speaker was a young lawyer and supposedly quite hot. Ryoichi followed her… for some reason, he didn’t have the urge to go up to her and ask her to remember him.  The lawyer, Takahara Tomoaki, told the attendants they could ask him anything.  

Ryoichi asked “If someone lost their memory and it was caused by this person, will there be consequences?”

Takahara said, “You mean, are memories protected by law? Ethically, if it was done without consent, then it is wrong. But since this is not within the boundaries of criminal law, it will not be punished.”  Kyoko had no reaction to this discussion about Memory Man at all.

Over the next year, Ryoichi never really talked to Kyoko again. He also saw her less and less. Maki started to get more grown up, but she was still hanging around Ryoichi’s room like she used to.  Did Maki’s meet the Memory Man as well? Is it possible that two people in his life had their memory erased? Ryoichi became obsessed.  

Takahara called him out of the blue. “Do you want to talk about Memory Man? You live near XXXX, let’s meet.”  

How did Takahara get his phone number and know where he lived?  He didn’t remember giving Takahara his number.  Did his memory also get erased?

Ryoichi realized he may be the third known victim of Memory Man.

Continue to part 2

Survey #192

“i’d love to give you wings, but babe, you’ve got to grow them.”

Where have you lived throughout your life? The same general area in North Carolina. Do you find your job rewarding? N/A What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? I'm sure it was red velvet. To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels? I enjoy both, but bagels. Do you paint your nails? No. What’s the last website you signed up for? Good question... maybe a feral dog RP forum I was considering making a character on? Do you check your email everyday? I'm getting into the habit. Have you created any pages on Facebook? Yeah. Is there a subject that you absolutely suck at? Social studies/history, math. What’s your favorite song by Dave Matthews Band? I have no idea who that is. Are there people you have absolutely nothing in common with, but still enjoy talking to? Maybe? Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? No. Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? Nooo, not at all. Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover? No. Have you ever had a panic attack? Plenty. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Have you ever had a mouse in your house? Yeah. In our old one, anyway. Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex? Not personally, I think. Is anyone you know really religious? Welcome to the South. Yes. Are your eyebrows naturally thick? I'd say they're average. Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick? No. I haven't spoken in front of an actual audience since my senior project, though. It was hard, but I think I did well. What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed? I'm not sure. Moana may have gotten me a bit teary? But if no, Coco absolutely did. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? I think "hate" is a strong word for it. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? Yes. I legitimately had dark spots on my right leg for a long while. Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow? Juan. Who was the last person to flip you off? Idk, but I'm sure it was playfully. Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? Miiiine! And my friend Alyssa's. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? Sure, in rare circumstances. Are you good at following directions? No. I have zer-O sense of direction. Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care? Sara. From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall? Yeah, behind me. When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? Not unless I'm with my grandmother. She's extremely "proper" about things. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Electric. Are your biceps at all noticeable? No. Have you ever seen a walrus? Are there any at SeaWorld? Otherwise, no. When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule? HELL NO. I'm a germaphobe with that stuff. If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? Sure? Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer? I don't recall the science behind this theory, so idk. When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too? Oh yes, especially if it's someone I'm very close to. Particularly, I can't handle Mom, my sisters, or Sara crying. I've never seen Dad cry, but if he ever did, I know I would bawl. Do you tend to jump to conclusions? Was this written as a direct @me??????? Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays? NOPE. I only remember... Sara's, Connie's, Caleb's (just because it's on Halloween), Shaylee's, and that's literally it out of friends/acquaintances. Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing? Actually use WiiFit. I'm doing periodic exercises throughout the day, but I need to dedicate more and be able to see my center of balance. Ever pop someone else’s pimple? NONONONONO IT'S SO GROSS TO ME How long does it take you to fall asleep? No less than 15 minutes, I think usually more. Do you crack your neck often? I can't. Did you have a weird dream last night? OH MY GOD YES. I was awkwardly with one of my acquaintances at his house somehow????? and we both seemed very uncomfortable??????? and I think I was high or some shit???????????????? I don't even know this person well enough to like-like him?????????????? Who do you sometimes compare yourself to? My sisters and successful friends. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right things. But I aim for both. In what way are you your own worst enemy? I criticize. The. Hell out of everything I do. What activities make you lose track of time? Video games. When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” Full offense, you're an absolute dick if you do that. Who do you tell your secrets to? Nobody really unless there's reason to, and only ever Sara, Mom, or my therapist. Who do you live with? Mom and the pets. When did/will you graduate? '14 for high school. Idk when I will for college, gotta get there first... When are you moving next? Probably when Sara and I are ready for our own place. When is the last time you took a vitamin? I have to twice a week now, so Thursday, because I have an incredible vitamin D deficiency, and that's probably what's causing my knee problems. Why are you stressed? The everlasting weight loss struggle. Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No. Where do you keep your birth certificate? It's in a safe. How many books are in your room? Uhhh like three? Then one coloring book. Have you ever been IN a wedding? I was the immensely triggered and ugly bridesmaid at my older sister's. Weddings were a very sensitive thing to me at the time, so while I was so happy for Ashley, I had a very difficult time and cried numerous times. What was the last thing you laughed out loud at? I think during a Mark video? Do you have a nickname? Why? "Britt" for obvious reasons, and Mom's called me "Twinkie" since I was a baby. She gave all her children sweets-based nicknames. Fuck out my face if you think that ain't the cutest damn thing. Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No. When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful/good-looking? Do people often tell you this? I think the last time was when Sara said I looked really pretty with eyeliner on and I just eeeeeeeeeek. I'm not often told it. Are you missing someone of the opposite sex atm? Not romantically. I'd like to see Girt as a bud; I'm gonna invite him to my birthday dinner to hang out. Hopefully he doesn't have work. Want someone back in your life? Yes. Are you currently sad about anything? Weight. Unbelievable difficulty getting my fucking transcript and inability to find my ACT score so I can go back to school. Are you wearing anything shiny? My lip ring has gems on it, and they shine a bit in the right light. How important is a sense of humor in a significant other? I need it. I don't think I could really enjoy a constantly serious person as a partner. How many followers do you have on Twitter? Idk, don't care to check. I only ever use it to be able to like Mark's shit lmao. Do you sleep with the door open or closed? Open so Roman can go in and out. Have you ever been to the beach? Multiple times. Can you handle blood? Doesn't bother me a bit. Do you pay your bills or do your parents? My parents. I have no source of income to. What’s your best friend’s middle name? Jane. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever barely passed a grade/year in school? In college courses when my mental state was at its worst. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No. Have you ever tried to sell something overpriced to someone? No, I don't think so. Do you plan to become very wealthy some day? "Very" is unlikely, but I am dead serious about being at least perfectly financially stable one day. I refuse to live how I have my whole life so far, wondering if rent will be paid each month 'n things like that. Do you remember your first time going to the movies? No. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No. Are you dying to say something to someone right this minute? No. Well, not dying to, but after this whole revelation I had, I really want to apologize to Jason. I wasn't without evil in how I responded to and treated him after the breakup. Book series you enjoyed reading recently? I haven't read a series in years. Do you enjoy lying in the grass during the summer, and just existing? Nooo. Summer sucks and lying in grass is super uncomfortable. Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? No. Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? Not fading, but literally gone from the keyboard because this one is horrible, even after being "fixed" or replaced (idr). No joke, 21 are gone. Sooo I have to smash those buttons for the sensor or whatever to understand I'm pressing them, to the point my fingers, especially right pointer, are mildly callused. Do any of your close friends have children? No close ones, but one I'm hoping to reconnect more with it expecting. What do you plan on having for dinner? Probably a sandwich and nutrition shake to get enough calories to take my medicine and get the intended effect. Do you like Chinese food, or do you find it disgusting? The only things I enjoy now are fried rice and eggrolls, but I used to like sweet and sour chicken and bird on a stick or whatever its proper name is. Have the police ever come knocking on your door looking for someone? Once. Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor? We're not like, "real" friends, but I know a good number of and get along great with the employees at the parlor I'm a regular customer at. I want to work there so badly. Small, environment I feel at home at, great people. Have you ever played flashlight tag? Don't even know what that is. Could you call yourself a movie buff? Not at all. Have you ever had a piercing get infected? A second hole in one of my earlobes, and the first time I got my tongue done, there was an abscess inside that indicated one was likely to form. Thank God that the rollercoaster of The Tongue Piercing Woes has ended. Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to? Mom does occasionally. Are you a shorts wearing kind of person? NOOOOO MY LEGS ARE NOT OKAY. Plus I chafe. Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy? Ohhhh I'm sure. I haven't been to her house since I was a kid, but I remember it being like, pristine. Her rooms at her son's is neat as hell too. About how much can you bench press? I have no clue. Have you ever had your phone die on you in the middle of a conversation? Yeah. Is anybody in your family a carpenter? Not to my knowledge. Are you avoiding someone? No. Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”? I have a gf, and I have never in the least understood how that's a term of endearment. What’s your favorite primary color? Red. What were you for Halloween? Nothing, ugh. I haaave to dress up this year. Do you have any clothes from Walmart? Yeah. When did you get a Facebook? I have no clue. What color are your eyes? Grayish-greenish blue. What motivates you? How far I've already come, wanting a better future than I have now, encouragement from friends, family, my therapist, and psychiatrist, the drive to thoroughly enjoy my one mortal existence. Can you walk in heels? Not well. When was the last time someone asked you your age? Ummm, last time I got something done at the parlor, I think? Do you keep a journal? No. Have you ever tried a weird flavor of vodka? No. Do you wear a ring on your finger? One, my friendship ring with Sara. What are you doing? This, listening to Asking Alexandria's "Closer" NIN cover (no shame), and waiting for Girt to reply on Facebook. What’s the last kind of soup you ate? A bit of vegetable. Do you currently have a sunburn? No. Who did you last text? Mom. Who’d you last call? About what? My old college to find out why I couldn't get my fucking transcript after weeks upon weeks of being directed to different people about it. I regret going there immensely. Complete waste of time and money. Are you currently frustrated with someone? I'm really frustrated at myself. Do you drink water or soda more often? I'm actually not sure... Do you straighten your hair? No. When did you last talk to your brother or sister? One, not since Christmas, and the younger, a few days ago. All my half-siblings have been forever, and one I've never spoken to. What is your least favorite vegetable? Probably asparagus. Or beans. Outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often. Sara, Mark, Shane Dawson. In school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in? English or art, idr. Was there a subject that you enjoyed, but weren’t too good at? No. When was the last time something didn’t go to plan? What happened? Being into what's called "vulture culture" now (at least to a certain degree), I searched for quite a while for the bones of the very first opossum I photographed (I have a photography "series" focused on exposing the horror of roadkill to hopefully influence people to be more careful and vigilant), but despite thorough searching, I couldn't find it. Gruesome, but Mom speculated the remains were destroyed by whoever mows the grass there. Do you have any children? If not, at what age do you think you’ll feel ready to be a parent? No, and never. When was the last time you bought a new item of clothing? Describe it. Uhhh. I seriously have no clue. Maybe some underwear months ago. Was your last Facebook friend request from a male or female? Idk who the last person was. Do you have an item of clothing that makes you feel especially beautiful? Describe it. No. Think of the last person that betrayed you. If they said they were sorry, would you forgive them? I can literally almost guarantee Colleen shared our whole goddamn conversation and shit on Facebook after our last talk, as she did the first time too. Too many times our business became everyone's. I'd forgive her, but I refuse to ever be friends again. Nastiest thing you've ever done? I hate talking about this, but okay. When I was deep into my suicidal depression phase, I had a hard time brushing my teeth as needed. Like... I wouldn't for days. I avoided brushing my hair as long as I could too. Anyone who doesn't believe in how deeply depression is capable of chaining you down and making vital things almost impossible, go get fucking educated. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. What color is your shower? White. Where do you order your pizza from? Ideally Domino's, but sometimes Little Caesar's. When is the last time you had a serious talk with someone? Yesterday. Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? Oh yes. I rarely try something new. What color is your bike? N/A What word can you not stand to hear people say? The “n” word. What room of your house are you in? My bedroom. What is the temperature in your city right now? Apparently 38 F. When did you last use a post-it-note? No idea. Would you ever want to own your own restaurant? No. Do you have a fan in your bedroom? I have three lmao. My room is unbearable in the summer. Who is the last person that you took a picture with? Sara. When is the last time you were stuck in a fairly long traffic jam? A couple months or so back when there was an accident. Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? All my friends. When was your most recent trip to an aquarium? 2016 visit to the beach. We went to the aquarium there and it absolutely sucked. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? Just lettuce (but I can also handle cucumbers) and the Olive Garden dressing. If it has one, do you ever use the notepad function in your phone? Occasionally. Rn I have tattoo ideas written in it. Surprised? How good would you say your memory is? Absolutely horrible, lately worse than ever. I worry about it quite a bit. About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? Once or twice. Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? Not currently on or anything. What’s one thing you’re glad you’ve done recently? Improved on picking up the phone when I don't know the number. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Well, I've talked about flirting with my friend's bf as a pre-teen, and it wasn't always innocent, if you count that as "sexual." I regret the hell out of it. Do you like to sit in the sun and tan when it’s hot out? NO. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? Yes, Tyler. I wasn't like, terrified, but preeeetty uncomfortable. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I can, but I'm not that great, and I absolutely hate it. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yes. Do you like french fries? Hell yeah. Have you ever eaten so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? People whose opinions I care about. Would you rather go to Greece or France? Probably Greece.

Let’s talk about Home!

The newest mission in STO!

I said I’d talk about this a bit on twitter, so since I can write at length without making a huge thread (and I can make a readmore for spoilers) I opted to revive this blog. Just a heads up, though, I am far more active on twitter now.

Without further ado, let’s begin! A long post, a ton of sass, and spoilers lie ahead, read at your own risk. (A small disclaimer too, my memory isn’t the greatest. I apologize for any errors!)

WELL HOLY MOLY. How about that mission? I’m assuming you’ve completed it yourself already if you’re here.

I’m not going to do a huge review or anything. I mostly wanna talk about the Discovery references made in it, partly because of that one weirdo on Twitter who cried to me about it out of the blue (attention seeking much idk).

“The part where they shoehorned std in to star trek canon, was awful though. And it failed.”

Yes, because Discovery, a licensed Star Trek series and CBS production, is not canon. And STO, a game, is. Okay! Sure. I’m totally gonna use some rando troll’s review of the mission as my SOLE BASIS for how to approach this mission too because I deeply value strangers’ feelings. Thanks for the inspiration 😘

Those of you who’ve been following me for a while likely know that I see STO as soft-canon and that I love Discovery. This isn’t a matter of liking/disliking Discovery, though; this is about recognizing what is and isn’t canon. If you’d prefer to not imagine it as canon because you dislike it, go ahead -- just don’t tell me I can’t see it as canon. Because it’s literally canon. Debate it with CBS, not me. I’d also like to say that it’s one thing to shun Disco because of its flaws (it’s okay to dislike it! It’s not a perfect show and it’s definitely made some egregious slips worthy of criticism), but it’s another to shun it just because some conspiracy website convinced you that SJWs are taking over the world, one Star Trek series at a time. Spoiler alert, your beloved TOS is brimming with social justice themes. OH but that’s right, you only watched it because Kirk got all the ladies, not for the social commentary. Haha, how could I forget.

...Anyway.

The first mention we see of Discovery -- that I noticed, at least -- was when the Klingon fleet showed up and Martok gave his speech about the Sword of Kahless. He mentions T’Kuvma and the Torchbearer(s). Upon landing on the Changeling homeworld, Martok leads the Klingons into battle with the same... chant? Incantation? Battlecry? as was introduced in Discovery:

"(In Klingonese) Whom do we seek?" "Kahless." "How do we find him?" "Together." "Give us light to see." "Forever." "Will he hide from us always?" "Never." (retrieved from http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/T%27Kuvma)

Finally, in the post-galactic-showdown casual-lounging-on-DS9-like-we-didn’t-all-almost-die chat at the end, Chancellor J’mpok likens Martok to personalities like T’Kuvma (I think? I can’t recall off the top of my head), L’Rell, and Voq.

HOLY SHIT MASSIVE DISCOVERY SHOEHORNS. THE GAME WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. THESE REFERENCES LITERALLY REDUCED MY SKILL LEVEL. SOMEONE, HOLD ME!

Ignoring the people who make fun of “crybaby SJWs” then turn around and bawl that Discovery even exists for a moment..... I think these were really tasteful inclusions. The writers could’ve gone the “inject references at every possible point” route and they didn’t. When I read “shoehorns” while patching the game, I expected something like L’Rell and Voq’s lovechild’s daughter’s friend’s son’s legacy being a huge focus of the mission. Pls define “shoehorn.” Instead, the writers probably saw opportunities to lead in Discovery content here with the Klingons. We already know more Disco content is coming, thanks to Priority One interviewing Al Riviera. You can’t stop this Disco train.

I’m seeing these references like adding bay leaves to food. They’re big and flavorful, but not everyone likes them and they are certainly unpleasant to bite into whole if left in the food while serving. Despite the drawbacks, bay leaves are still a common ingredient and garnish because the majority of people don’t care about the small details that go into the making of a thing. Does the final product taste good? If the answer is yes, the food will be consumed. The same goes for content. I feel like in this situation, the writers used the Discovery-flavored bay leaves in just the right amount for this to be an appropriate dish for everyone. A lot of players skip dialogue and cutscenes. It’s not like you’re fighting on the bridge of the Sarcophagus Ship against L’Rell and Voq’s lovechild’s daughter’s friend’s son to decide the fate of Mirror Georgiou’s family line in the Prime universe (upon writing that I’m realizing how AMAZING that sounds, ngl). These references are effectively optional and have very little bearing on the gameplay experience right now.

Same goes for that little nudge from the books that Bashir married the captain of the USS Aventine (thanks to Quinny for reminding me of this!). There’s another nice little seed that they planted, which I’m sure may blossom into a really nice story addition. So are they retconning the literature too? Surely this is the end of the entire STO legacy, and quite easily the world as well.

If you ask me, I loved it. I’m already wanting more. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for STO and Discovery.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk, let me know what you think, here’s my tipjar

Since I'm posting again...

I figure I'll post about why I've disappeared from Tumblr for about a million years. I missed all you people that I don't actually talk to but enjoy seeing posts from.

This year has been total shit. I don't know what my last "update" was, but I doubt anyone else will remember either.

I'm finally on ADHD medication (as of November), which has made a very slight difference in my ability to function. However, I'm thinking of asking for something different. I'm on Adderall XR, and I'm wondering if Vyvanse would be more helpful. It costs twice as much, but if it helps, it would be worth it.

Despite taking daily amphetamines, I've gained even more weight and I'm at my highest weight since pregnancy. (I'm not taking Adderall for weight loss, of course, but it would have been a really nice side effect. I have little to no appetite, but I still eat way too much because depression anxiety and laziness.)

In January, we found out Toys R Us was closing. My partner has been a supervisor there for ten years, so this was a pretty devastating blow for us. His last day was in April. Fortunately, he was only unemployed for about a month. In the week after TRU closed, he helped a local mom and pop toy store owner move some shelves that they'd bought from the TRU liquidation. That got his foot in the door, and now he's actually making more money there than he was at TRU.... To the tune of an extra $250 a week. Better yet, they love him. And his boss? Small world, he was my favorite patient at my old job. So we're going into this with me already knowing and liking his boss! And a fun bonus: when new movies come out, they rent out entire rows at the theater and all the employees and whoever they want to invite can go see it. Eric went to see Solo with them-- I've been trying to convince him to go out and do things with people for literally our entire relationship, so I was THRILLED about this. Also, the store sells mostly older collectibles, so when he saw what his toys were worth, he was psyched. He sold two of his old action figures this week for $400, and he gets 60% of that on consignment.

The salary increase and extra money is great, because in February, my car broke down. The transmission died, and as it was a POS 1996 Lexus, it would have cost four times what the car was worth to fix it. So we've been sharing a car, which has been difficult, but thankfully both our jobs close at 8 and we're right across the street from each other. While he was still at TRU, he was sometimes getting off around 10, which meant keeping my daughter out way too late. But now we can start saving for a down payment on a car, and actually afford car payments without having to live on ramen.

Also in February, his mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. This has been hard. Last week, she had her final surgery to remove the cancerous mass from her lung. She came home on Thursday and she's doing well. Aside from the anxiety over her diagnosis, this has been hard in about a dozen other ways. She had some moments where she was legitimately scared that she wouldn't get to see Shilo grow up, and this was made even harder when she lost her hair. She looked different, and Shilo acted scared of her. I don't know if she was having trouble recognizing her or what. And then to top it off, they've always been pretty well off financially and have always been able to help out their kids when needed-- including us. But there was a lot of things their insurance didn't pay for, and they had a $100 copay for each radiation treatment for six weeks. We haven't needed help with money, thankfully, but under normal circumstances they may have been able to help us get a new car. They also missed their granddaughter's graduation in Texas, which I know was disappointing. Eric's unemployment was actually helpful though, because he was able to stay home with Shilo for the greater part of his mom's chemo and radiation.

All that aside, there have been a lot of daily stressors and disappointments for me. I don't know how much I should really go into here, since someone could stumble into my blog.... Eh, I think I have it locked from public view, so.

One of the biggest things that bugged me was my mom. I didn't get to see her for Christmas because on Christmas eve, it was more important to her to go pass out coffee at a local men's shelter. (I know it sounds noble, but sometimes I wonder. She's wound up dating several of the men there.) I had to work on Christmas day. I didn't see her until the end of January at my niece's birthday party. She didn't bring Shilo's Christmas presents with her, because we had planned to do lunch before the party but neither of us felt well enough for it, so she decided not to bring the presents. I brought her and Lily's presents, because I knew it could be a while before we could get together, and it was already a month late. After that, she said several times she would come over with them. One day, she had told me she was going to be down the street at Walmart and would drop by... She actually called me from Walmart to ask me for diet advice.... And didn't come over when she was done.

In May, she finally just brought the presents to me at work, because she was at a dentist appointment in the same complex I work in. I didn't ACTUALLY see her until last week.

In all that time, she knew about all the crap I've been going through, and she hasn't checked on me one single time. In fact, the week after my car broke down, she called me to brag that she had traded in her perfectly good, brand new car for an even newer car. This was particularly infuriating to me, because I was busting my ass working overtime and working every single holiday and I was barely making rent (forget any chance of getting even a cheap functioning car), but she's on SSDI and is taking on this huge car payment for literally no reason.

Then, when we finally did get together and go to lunch, she spent the first fifteen minutes listing every celebrity who has ever @ her on Twitter (despite me saying repeatedly "I have no idea who that is" and showing zero interest in the discussion because c'mon), talked about herself the whole time, and didn't ask me any questions about how things are going. When I did manage to get a word in, it was about Shilo's behavior at school, and she took over the conversation again to tell me about this place where you can drop autistic kids off for a few hours (but they're not even a licensed childcare facility, which makes me nervous, and they don't list their prices on their website which means I can't afford them). They also have family classes and actives and whatever, but still, I'm sure I can't afford them.

One of the things that really hurt me though? She had been "too busy" to see us for nearly six months, but she had time to make a 400 mile round trip to the other end of the state to spend time with my high school roommate and her children... Two weekends in a row, including on Mother's Day weekend. But yeah, too fucking busy to see her own daughter and granddaughter. When I tried to confront her on it, she was really blasé about it and deflected the conversation.

And? She didn't tell me that she broke up with her boyfriend months ago, and was not living where I thought she was living. In fact, I'm pretty sure she straight up lied to me about it, because she sent me what appeared to be an accidental text about moving, and when I said "wait what, you're moving?" she said "oh yeah from one trailer to the other" (they were living in a trailer park where you can only stay six months due to the sewage system or something, so they bought two trailers so they could move to the second every six months).

It's all made me feel really alone. I miss my grandma, because she never would have treated me this way. My mom is the only "family" I have, and she has zero interest in being part of my life.

Anyway, done with that section.

Shilo has been very violent at school, to a point where we actually got TWO behavior referrals in one day (a slip explaining her behavior and consequences-- usually involves missing recess, having to eat lunch in the principal's office, and/or writing an apology letter). It's been frustrating, and I haven't been sure what to do since I work so much and have my own issues with executive function and lack the ability to keep a stable routine. I'm hoping next year will be better, and I'm going to get a behavior intervention plan added to her IEP so we can figure out WHY she acts this way instead of just trying to correct the behavior after it happens. They do try to circumvent the behavior, mostly using social stories before transitions and things, but I don't think it's working.

Another big thing is that I got my IUD removed, and while I'm pissed about having a real menstrual cycle again, I'm shocked at some of the effects the IUD had on me that I didn't even realize. It turns out it was really dampening my sex drive, and portions of my personality. Suddenly I was interested in sex again and attracted to anything that moves lmao. An increased sex drive is a bad thing for me though, which I won't go into here.... But in short, let's say that it's caused some hurt feelings due to rejection.

So yeah, that's most of it. If you actually read my wall of text and whining, thanks! You're a champ.

Catching up on Yokai Watch News

Yokai Watch Spoilers (Movie 4 and Busters 2) under the cut.

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Mastertag for pre-release Movie 4 information.

Mastertag for pre-release Busters 2 information.

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Sorry this took a while but, this is gonna be a post to mostly summarize the information that was released via magazine and website updates in the past week.

I have been somewhat busy, so I don’t have time to translate every bit of this, gotta kinda skim over some parts, so this won’t be 100% complete, but I wanted to put out something at least.

First I’ll go over the stuff revealed for Busters 2 and then the stuff revealed for Movie 4, so if you’re only interested in one of the two, just go to the part you wanna read.

Busters 2 Stuff:

A lot of the stuff that the magazine leaks covered are also mentioned in the trailer that was released shortly after. The website also updated with some of this information and can be found here.

The game will appearently take place on a island called Karakuri, where the treasure of a pirate king is said to be hidden?  The Busters will go there to look for treasure, with the New Busters (Indy Jaws, Zom B Chopper, Neko II, and Mr. Scoop) presumably still being after the goals theyve been said to have in the anime and YKW3. (This last part is more my conjecture than anything)

It has been revealed that there will be two versions of “Yokai Watch Busters 2: Hidden Treasure Legend of Banbaraya”, called “Sword” and “Magnum”, and we also now know it’s release date, which is the 7th of December, 2017.

Each version will come with a special Yo-kai Treasure Medal, both featuring Enma and a new character called Kaira, who will seemingly play a role in the 4th movie, too.

Seems that these come with QR codes that will allow you to battle and befriend both Enma and Kaira, too.

It also seems like with this game you will be able to play online with up to 4 people? Though I’m unsure if I understood this right, cause I’ve never played a Busters game myself.

Something else that is shown off is the Treasure Gear, which from what I understand is the various weapons that the Yo-kai Pod merchandise can be turned into.

(for the reference, this is a Yo-kai Pod:

Its a lamp-like device that can have additional stuff get attached to it to turn into various other stuff.)

The Japanese version of the recent Nintendo Direct showed of the Treasure Gear well, showing the Chainsword, Sniper, and Magnum modes.

Unless I’m misunderstanding, there are also certain item boxes you can only destroy with these? (I could be wrong about this part)

A magazine also showed off a 4th Treasure Gear, which is literally called Hyūdroid, but could also be romanized as something like Hughdroid?

(image source)

The text is as follows:

“The Adventure Partner Hyūdroid also appears!

A new model of Treasure Gear. Within a dungeon, it moves around automatically and finds treasure!!”

Something else interesting the magazine mentioned that doesn’t seem to be adressed in the trailer or on the website is this bit:

(From the same source as the one before)

“The Mysterious Cry ‘Banbarayahh’!?

Within the game, when this cry occurs, strange events will...!?”

A new group of characters called the “Bundori Family” (might be romanized differently) has also been revealed:

It seems that they will be your “rivals” when it comes to treasure hunting in the game, whatever that means.

Twitter user rabbittotank has kindly translated the information on them that the magazine provides. You can check that out here.

In addition to these guys, 6 new Hidden Treasure Yokai (or Hihou Yokai) have been shown off:

Again, twitter user rabittotank has translated the information on these yokai found in the magazine. You can see those here.

--

And that’s about it for Busters 2, from what I can tell, cept for some merchandise related stuff, new Treasure Medals, and of course Emblems for the new Hidden Treasure Yokai and the like.

So onto

Movie 4 Stuff:

Here I must apologize again, because of how blurry some of the text is, I can’t translate all the text from the magazine, but I will show off the bits that I can translate.

First we have this page:

(image source for this and the following magazine pics)

While on this page, they point at Enma and the Enma Blade he is wielding and have descriptions for them, sadly I can’t really make out either of those. Though what little I can read of the Enma Blade’s description, it just seems to go over what it is again. (In case you dont know, the Enma Blade already appeared in YKW3)

What I actually can read is this bit:

“Kaira enters the war, too!?

Do not miss Onimaro VS Yōkai (Shadow Side) !!

The Yōkai ‘Onimaro’ that have appeared alongside the comet, who transform the humans they inspirit into Kaodeka Oni (Huge Faced Oni), are terrifying beings!! And Kaira plans to take advantage of this situation and take over the world!? Can the yōkai, transformed into the Shadow Sides, their combat forms, save the world from crisis!?”

And this:

“The king of the Yōmakai is me!!“

Aside from these there is also this little bit, but it’s literally just listing their names:

From left to right: Jibanyan (Shadow Side), Onimaro Leader, and Kaodeka Oni.

Next is this page:

Again, I can’t make out everything, and some stuff is incomplete, but I will go over the stuff I do understand.

This page features the new character Kaira again:

“Kaira the Snake King A yōkai who has tricked Enma and became the king of the Yōmakai. Using the power of Onimaro, he plans to rule the human world as well.”

Note: I am unsure about the world “tricked” here, might be another kanji, it’s a little blurry. If it IS the kanji I think it is, it could also be translated as “framed” or “trapped” or the like.

Also Note that his sword is labelled too, but

I can’t really make any of it’s description. It appears to be called “Snake King Sword”, but that name might be incomplete.

“The Era of Enma is over!!“

“This Sword holds the key to the story!?

Fudō Thunder Sword A legendary sword that was sealed away, for its power is too strong for anyone to control it.”

Note: “Fudō” could possibly translate to “Immobile” or “Unmoving”. Also cause I was confused about it for a moment, I want to point out that this is NOT the same as Kaira’s sword. It’s a different sword.

“In the setting of the movie - 30 years into the future, Kaira the Snake King has become the master of the Yōmakai!? And the swords that the two of them possess, alongside the legendary sword sealed in the Yōmakai, appearently will be important keys of the story!!”

And that’s it for what I got on the information from the magazine, but there is a little bit more from recent news udpates to the website.

First, there is a little notice about how if you got a pre-sale ticket for the movie, you can scan the QR code on it to get a treasure coin in YKW3.

--

Second, more interestingly, there will be some sort of crossover between Yokai Watch and Gegege no Kitarō.

I will translate the entire news post on that one:

“Gegege! Nyo, nyo, nyo way!! 'Gegege no Kitarō'

will appear in a 'Yokai Watch Movie'!

With this, the shocking 'Yōkai Tag Team' is born!

(Translator's Note: I am not sure if it refers to 4th movie specifically, but given the context I feel like it more than likely does.)

This new work is...! The veteran of Yōkai Anime, the national character everyone knows about, 'Gegege no Kitarō' will appear! And not just Kitarō will appear; Daddy Eyeball, Catchick, Old Man Crybaby, the Sand Witch, Rollo Cloth, Ratman, everyone from the familiar 'Kitarō Family' will make an appearance!

(Translator's Note: I used the english names from 2002, I hope thats okay?)

'Gegege no Kitarō' is the master piece of Shigeru Mizuki, which could be called the parent of modern Yōkai Manga and Anime. The manga series started in 1965. The anime started to be broadcast in 1968, and in the blink of an eye, started a Yōkai Boom, spreading the image of 'Yōkai' throughout the world, with 5 more national anime series being produced afterwards.

The voice actress who plays the role of Kitarō, who breathes life into numerous super popular characters, and enjoys national popularity, is the outstanding Masako Nozawa! Kitarō is brought back to life with Masako Nozawa's voice!

(Masako Nozawa's comment): "The protagonist of the first series, Kitarō, fully lives within me. This time around, I am looking forward to see and imagining, how we will be accepted, or what kind of welcome we will receive, as we enter Yokai Watch. For now, I am very excited and looking forward to the completion. Yōkai are immortal."

Furthermore, this Kitarō-like Jibanyan form is known as 'Kitanyan'. Somewhere within the work, this 'Kitanyan' will appear!”

--

Third, there’s a little thing about Kaira, which is mostly the same as what the magazine already said, but since that makes it not that hard to translate, here it is:

“ Kaira the Snake King,

the strongest (worst) rival,

for the strongest of the Yōmakai,

The Great King Enma,

makes his appearance!

(Translator's Note: the word used to describe Kaira here is a pun that can mean both "strongest" but also something like "most vile")

In the setting of the movie - 30 years into the future, Kaira the Snake King has become the master of the Yōmakai!? It seems he also plans to rule the human world.

The swords that the Great King Enma and Kaira the Snake King possess, and the legendary sword sealed in the Yōmakai are important keys to the story!?”

--

And lastly, it seems that the winner of the Shadow Side design contest has been chosen.

From what I understand, people where able to submit their own ideas of the Shadow Side design for a Yokai of their choice, via various forms released in different magazines around the time.

Unless I’m mistaken, it appears that someone named Kakuto Yona (unsure about the surname’s spelling) was the one to win first place, and their drawing of Shadow Side Bushinyan (Shogunyan) will be turned into a treasure medal

And with that we should be all caught up on general news, again, sorry it took me so long to get this finished.

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/07/21/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-72117/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 7/21/17

I haven’t been doing such a great job with my movie tally for 2017. We’re more than halfway through the year, and I’ve barely watched anything. Well, I kinda made up for that last weekend, as I caught Keeping Up With The Joneses on HBO. This is one of those movies that came and went, and might find a fan base on TV, but will probably just be forgotten. If it should be remembered for anything, it’s that it features both Gal Gadot and Isla Fisher in lingerie. That’s about all it’s got going for it. What’s it about? Well, Isla Fisher and Zack Galifianakis star as a milquetoast suburbanite couple who become suspicious of their new neighbors, Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot. So, they’re pushed out of their comfort zone when they find out Hamm and Gadot are spies, and they get wrapped up in their latest mission. This is the kind of movie I would’ve killed a chunk of a Saturday afternoon on had it aired on Fox 5, but I can understand why nobody went to see it in theaters. Folks loved Don Draper, but for whatever reason, they have no desire to help along Jon Hamm’s movie career. And this was pre-Wonder Woman Gadot, so there was no heat on her yet. It doesn’t suck, but it’s got no Wow Factor either. Once it hits FX, it might be a good way to waste away a rainy Sunday afternoon.

I finally got around to watching The Nice Guys, too. I’d tried a few months ago, but I only got as far as the Ryan Gosling fully clothed in the bathtub scene, where I went, “What the eff am I watching?” I wasn’t ready for the absurd that night, but I was ready now. Like everyone had told me, it was really good. I still have trouble with heist/mystery films because my brain doesn’t work as fast as the film, so sometimes I have to reflect back on the thing when it’s over just to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Ryan Gosling is a private investigator who teams up with local tough guy Russell Crowe to track down a missing girl. Sure, there’s some stuff about porn, and the Detroit auto lobby, but that’s the gist of the movie. It’s got a precocious kid, a cool 70s aesthetic, and titties. Can’t really hate on any of that. Anyway, I could see this as one of those movies I drop everything to watch whenever I see that it’s on. If you haven’t seen it, definitely check it out.

My new favorite reality show debuted this week on Bravo, called A Night With My Ex. It’s just what the title says: a former couple spends the night together to see if the spark is still there and/or to reopen old wounds. In the premiere, 28 year old virgin Rachel is reunited to smarmy douchebag ex-boyfriend Fabian. They dated for four years, but he cheated on her with a sexy Tinkerbell at a Halloween party because he had a major case of blue balls. When the show starts, you don’t think Fabian is really that bad of a guy. He knows he made a mistake, and he even plans to propose to Rachel because he wants her in his life forever. But things go south quickly. He chastises her for scraping her plate with her fork as she eats, and he tries to make her give him a handjob once they’re in bed. All the while, she’s trying to actually apologize for basically pushing him to cheat by withholding sex, but he never lets her get a word out before saying/doing something stupid. Finally she declares that she deserves better than him, and basically laughs in his face when he proposes. That was some damn good television! If anything, I’d say the show is too short at 30 minutes, but they only spend one night together, and not the whole weekend, so I guess that’s all they could edit together. It’s a lot like MTV’s old show, The X Effect, only the couple’s current partners aren’t spying on the date like they were in that show. Anyway, it’s only been one episode, but I count me in for the next nine!

In TV news, it was announced that Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have lined up their post-GoT project, Confederate, which is an alternate history series set prior to the United States’ 3rd Civil War. Well, this rang some alarm bells for some folks, as you can’t really get into the Confederacy and Civil War without dealing with slavery. And folks weren’t really happy about these White showrunners making what some considered to be “slavery fanfic”. What hasn’t been covered extensively, though, is that the project is really just coasting on the fact that the GoT showrunners are attached, but they’re not the only ones involved. Husband-wife team of Malcolm Spellman and Nichelle Tramble Spellman , who are Black, will be partners on the show along with Benioff and Weiss. Plus, the show it’s so deep in its infancy that there aren’t even character names or an outline yet. It was originally developed as a two-hour movie, but they decided it could be fleshed out and taken to television. There’s basically nothing on paper for it yet, though, so there’s not much for folks to be upset about at this stage other than mere speculation. The Spellmans acknowledge the criticism, but say that they’d rather it had followed the premiere of the show instead of starting now, as it’s being announced. At this point, I think it’s safe to say that this criticism will go into shaping the show going forward, so we may never get what they originally intended to put out.

We got a new trailer for Marvel’s Inhumans. Still looks like garbage. I’ve loved Iwan Rheon since Misfits, but I can’t follow him here. This just looks so bad. Look, I’m gonna watch it, but I really don’t see how there’s any damn way I’m paying for an IMAX ticket to see it in theaters.

We also got a new teaser for The Defenders, which teases the Punisher series at the end. People are going nuts online about this thing because it’s narrated by Stan Lee, but I actually think he’s tonally wrong for this clip. When I think of Stan, I think of his marquee, larger than life characters – NOT the street-level vigilantes. I almost feel like it would’ve been better narrated by Bendis or Brubaker, but they don’t have the recognition factor that Stan has. I get that. Still, it just feels like a hollow waste of a cameo.

 Things You Might Have Missed This Week

The good Lord answered my prayers, as Chris Hardwick and Comedy Central have “mutually decided” to end @midnight. I won’t miss his smarmy face or those stupid hashtag games.

I guess the third time’s the charm, as Paige Davis will start her 3rd hosting stint on Trading Spaces when it returns to TLC later this year

Ed Sheeran was on Game of Thrones this week, and I guess some folks didn’t like that. I dunno. I kinda couldn’t care less about Sheeran or GoT, but folks were hatin’!

Meanwhile, it was reported that Lena Dunham will join American Horror Story for season 7, and folks lost their shit about that, too. Apparently she’ll only be in one episode, but that was enough for some folks to claim they weren’t gonna watch anymore.

Transformers: Titans Return will debut in November as an animated micro series on the Go90 app, featuring the voices of Green Ranger Jason David Frank and the original Rodimus Prime himself, Judd Nelson.

MTV is in talks to reboot Teen Wolf before this iteration’s final season has even concluded. Slow it down!

Sega broke up with Archie Comics over Twitter, thereby ending the Sonic The Hedgehog comic after 24 years of publication

Seacrest IN! Ryan Seacrest has officially signed on to host ABC’s revival of American Idol. I feel like I’ve written this sentence 3 times in the past already, but now it’s for real for real.

Coming as no real surprise since The Vampire Diaries ended, The CW announced that its spinoff, The Originals, will end after its upcoming season.

In an odd choice, the directors of the original Catfish documentary (the movie, not the show) are in talks talks to helm a Mega Man film that will be produced by Masi Oka of Heroes fame.

Words with Friends is being developed into a television game show. Ya know, so it’s basically the Scrabble game show being rebooted.

Meanwhile on Black Twitter, R. Kelly is allegedly running a sex cult, Usher paid a woman $1.1 million for her to keep quiet about the fact that he gave her herpes, and Kevin Hart allegedly got caught cheating on his pregnant wife. I’m just waiting for some crazy Steve Harvey news to round out the week.

At San Diego Comic Con, MGM announced Stargate Origins, which appears to be a prequel webseries that will run on the Stargate Command website this fall.

Shazam! will be the next DC film to go into production, following Justice League and Aquaman, but it’s unclear if Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will co-star as Black Adam.

There might soon be a new Cutco salesman on the block, as OJ Simpson has been granted parole from the armed robbery that landed him in prison nine years ago. The Juice is almost loose!

I love those weeks when the West Week Ever recipient presents itself early in the week, ’cause it’s pretty much smooth sailing after that. This was one of those weeks, as history was made across the pond. The Doctor Who franchise is over 50 years old, but every time the Doctor regenerates (a clever in-story mechanism for recasting the actor), he just turns into another White dude. That’s pretty much been the unending pattern since 1966, when the first regeneration occurred. Folks have been saying it’s time for a change, and they were hoping we’d either end up with a Doctor of color (with The IT Crowd‘s Richard Ayoade coming up in a lot of the discussions) or a woman Doctor. Well, half of them got their wish, as Attack the Block‘s Jodie Whittaker was announced as the 13th Doctor. And, as you’re probably not surprised, folks lost their shit.

We’re always taught the the Brits are so proper and upstanding, but the comments sections of several sites proved that they can troll with the best of them. At the end of the day, it’s a bunch of folks who are afraid of change. A friend of mine, however, did point out that the victors in these circumstances also tend to trigger the backlash against themselves. For example, it would be one thing if this was seen as a bold move forward for a progressive franchise. The problem, however, is that some people take it too far, and get on the “I’m savoring these fanboy tears” soapbox, making it about something that it really didn’t need to devolve into. Sometimes the winners can suck just as much as the losers in these scenarios. This can be seen as a “win” for some without it being a “loss” for someone else. How about framing it as a win for everyone? Nah, the internet doesn’t really work like that.

I have never gotten into the Doctor Who franchise because it just seems so daunting. Sure, folks claim you really only have to start with the Eccleston season, but when I get into something, I go ALL IN. To me, that’s like telling someone they can start Star Trek with The Next Generation (which I’d probably do, since I hate The Original Series, even though I’d still feel like I was cheating them out of an experience). I feel like I’d have to watch all 54 years of the show, which is impossible because those seasons ain’t streaming anywhere, and a good chunk of them have been lost to time. It’s a franchise that cannot be wholly consumed! I hate mysteries that can’t be solved. Still, I can respect a longstanding institution, and I understand when change is a big deal. It’ll be interesting to see how fans take to the new Doctor, but the one thing to remember is that she’ll probably do it for 2 years, and then regenerate into another old White guy (the Doctor role has the retention rate of a community college). So, everyone gets their wish! I am kinda curious about the next season, though, as rumor has it Kris Marshall (Colin: God of Sex from Love Actually) is going to be the Doctor’s next companion. I loved that dude!

Anyway, I know which side of history I want to be on, and it’ll be interesting to see this all play out. The way the franchise works, we won’t see her until the Christmas special, and then won’t see her again until late 2018 at the earliest. So, folks have got some time to get used to the idea. Still, I think it goes without saying that Jodie Whittaker had the West Week Ever.

02/17/2019 DAB Transcript

Leviticus 4:1-5:19, Mark 2:13-3:6, Psalms 36:1-12, Proverbs 10:1-2

Today is the 17th day of February. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It’s great to be here with you today. This will be the last time I'm doing this from the United States for a minute. We’ll leave later and begin our journey across the ocean into the Mediterranean where we will land in Tel Aviv and start preparing for our pilgrimage to the land of the Bible. So, I'm thanking you in advance for your prayers up front as we leave today, but it's a brand-new week, it's shiny and sparkly, we’re stepping into it together. We’re kind of freshly in books both in the Old Testament and the New Testament, we just got ourselves going in Leviticus and have also just got ourselves going in the gospel of Mark. And this week we will read from the Christian Standard Bible. Today, Leviticus chapter 4, chapters 4 and 5.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word, we thank You for what You are speaking to us through Your word, we thank You that Your word is a constant in our lives, it’s part of the rhythm of every day and it shapes us in profound and profoundly important ways. And we thank You and we invite Your Holy Spirit to plant the word of God that we’ve read today in our lives as we move into this new week. And Father, we acknowledge that this is a busy week around the Daily Audio Bible community because, well, because we’ll be traveling and because we will be bringing the land of the Bible to as many as we can reach as we travel around it. And, so, Father, I pray over this pilgrimage, whether it be a personal pilgrimage that some of our brothers and sisters are going on personally or whether this be a virtual pilgrimage where we just simply stay connected to the story of the Scripture and the story of the geography of the land. Come Holy Spirit. The whole point of all of this effort and all of this travel is to make Your word come alive. This is what You’ve called us to as a community, to make Your word come alive. And, so, help us Holy Spirit as we make this journey, this pilgrimage. We love You, we trust You, we pray these things in Your mighty name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here

And as we were just praying about, today's a travel day and it’s a big travel day and it won’t end for a while, but we will end up on the other side of the world in Tel Aviv in the land of the Bible and prepare to take our pilgrimage through that land. And we do everything that we can think of to make it as a communal and interactive as possible. So, we’ll be posting a lot of pictures. I'll be talking about it every day on the Daily Audio Bible because the Daily Audio Bible doesn't stop. And, so, we’ll be doing this as we are traveling. So, thank you for your prayers over that, for technology, for stamina, that's always a tough one because they’re long days and we’re working all day long and when the day ends its kind of not over for me yet or for China, there’s still Daily Audio Bible production to do. So, thank you for your prayers over that. But we’ll be sharing what we’re seeing, what we’re experiencing on both DAB Chronological and the Daily Audio Bible. So, you can listen here and get a travelogue and then maybe go over there and get her perspective as well at Daily Audio Bible Chronological as we’re taking this journey. Like I said, we’ll be posting photographs, videos, other associated posts, I don't know. We post continually as we’re there. And, so, following Daily Audio Bible on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter will let you kind of be able to follow along as we post things as they happen. And, so, this is it. I’m sittin’ here in the comfort of my own home and just realizing I gotta stand up from here and I won’t be back for a couple of weeks. So, that's always a little bit of a moment. And Jill and Ezekiel will be staying back this time. So, I have to say goodbye and I hate that. But this is what we do. This is wat we’re called to do. So, I’m excited for it and thanking you for your prayers.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174

And as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi DABbers, this is Kara from Denver, mile high city and I was just listening to the community encouragement and my heart was so…just started to feel so full that I…I kind of couldn’t help but call. Shannon from Texas, your call really prompted me today. That attitude of…I’m gonna agree with you. What do we believe? We are the children of the most-high God. And you said…you know…I want to call and pray for my son, my son Nishua, Nish is his nickname. He has a long trippy name. And Yesuah is his middle name and I’m gonna…I want to pray for him. He’s out in the world somewhere and still and, you know, he doesn’t use a phone and I don’t know if he’s homeless or not. I don’t really…not too sure what he’s up to but I get so worried about him and I see him, and all these being destroyed and all this stuff and it’s just…it’s ridiculous. My son is a child of the most-high God and he is perfect in every…he is perfect in the kingdom today and every day. Shannon from Texas that’s what you said, and I agree with you. I want to also lift up Sharon the Victorious. I think it was Sharon. And I know she’s still going through it and I want to lift her up and Prodigal, yeah, I called right after I heard your call. And I want to also pray for my daughter, she’s in a…she’s in a closed adoption, she’s 10. I haven’t seen her since she was born. I want to pray for my son Nicholas who’s in an open adoption. I do…

Hello, my brothers and sisters, this is Randy from rocket city, grace and peace unto you. I heard the prayer of the grandmother of Xander and I just wanted to let you know that I have prayed for you and I will pray for you and I wanted to share something that God has put on my heart with regards to worry. My wife, Wendy, which I also ask everyone to pray for is…she goes through a lot of pain and a lot of health issues and I pretend to worry about it a lot through my day while I’m at work and it occurred to me that my worrying isn’t doing her any good. So, now I use that time when I am tempted to worry to convert it to prayer. So, now it’s my signal pray for Wendy. So, when she comes up in my mind throughout the day I pray for her and that’s what I commend to you my brothers and sisters, that worry doesn’t do anything but it does something as far as reminding you that only God is our help. And, so, again, I pray for you my sister and I pray for Xander in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good morning family this is Lynn from Florida and I’m calling to speak to Jane from New York. Jane, first of all, I apologize. It took me too long to call you, but you have been in my thoughts and my prayers and on my heart since I heard your request. You moved to New York, you’re sitting at your table and I picture you in your discouragement with your son and feeling like you’re not hearing from God, but I want to say something to you that I feel like was put on my heart to tell you, to remind you, and this is for everybody out there. I want to remind us all that we are children of the King. We are priceless possessions to Him and we have to remember that. In this world where we get defeated every day, we forget that we have a kingdom that were going to. And God wants us individually so much that we need to take hold of that and if we were children of an earthly king we would not be in despair, we would remember that, we would be walking in our royal robe. So, we have something better, we have our spiritual King. And Jane, I know what you mean when you say that you haven’t had a Holy Spirit experience. I can say the same thing; however, when I feel that despair and when I feel sad and lonely and neglected I do remember that I am God’s girl, I am His beloved and that gives me the courage to move forward and to step out into His grace. And just be reminded Jane that He loves you so much. Well, I love you all. I hope that helps. And thank you for all your prayers and as you know we all pray for you. I pray for you. Have a great day. Bye.

Hello, my Daily Audio Bible family, this is Michele with one L from Central Florida. I’m calling because Pelham you’ve been on my heart a lot lately and I actually meant to call Saturday, which I believe was 9th February, today is the 13th of February. And Pelham, I want you to do this, okay? Stop what you’re doing unless you’re driving. Put your right hand straight out in front of you, your arm straight. Put it on your left shoulder. Now take your left hand, put it out straight so that your arm is straight. Put it on your right shoulder and squeeze. That’s a hug from me and it’s the closest I can get but I just wanted you to know that when you talked about having about having a Jesus with arms, that’s my hug to you. And I wanted to let you know brother I’m praying for you. And Tim from Michigan and Prodigal, I am reaching out to you by faith and praying that God’s going to meet all your needs. I heard recently that isolation and loneliness causes premature death even more than obesity. So, I just am praying that you’re going to get into a circle of believers that can actually give you in person hugs. And just know that I and many of your family members are praying for you, lifting you up and speaking encouragement to you. Pelham, you know, whatever situation we’re in, we’re to be content, right? Amen brother. And I know that Jehovah Jira is gonna meet your needs. Sometimes it’s not what we want and it’s not the needs we think we have but praying that God will bring you abundance, protection, and provision as His covenant promises. You have a blessed day brother. I’ll talk you all soon. Bye.

Fyre Festival designer Oren Aks says he's proud of the work he did with FuckJerry

You probably remember Oren Aks as the often exasperated former FuckJerry employee who was featured in the Hulu documentary Fyre Fraud. 

The graphic designer managed the disastrous festival's social media accounts but quit the company about six months after the festival fell apart. After Hulu's documentary was released, Twitter users voiced their support (and thirst) for him — even Chrissy Teigen gave him a shout out. 

Hi. It is me. Oren Aks. I’m actually the designer behind the festival. I’m happy to be here. Would love to make some cheese sandwiches with you @chrissyteigen sometime 🙃

— Fyre Festival (@fyrefestival) January 15, 2019

SEE ALSO: A campaign to unfollow the Fyre Festival promoters is gaining traction

Although he's settled in Barcelona at the moment, Aks is still proud of the work he did for Fyre, design-wise. He even still manages the official Fyre Festival Twitter account, and includes it in his online portfolio — with a disclaimer that says: "I am in no way affiliated with the mismanagement of the festival, I was only contracted in the start to consult & design."

During a phone interview with Mashable, Aks chatted about when he realized the festival went to shit, why he left Jerry Media, and why he actually likes the work he did for Fyre. 

I've seen stories that you're running away from Fyre, but on your Instagram you're just on vacation — can you just clear that up? 

Just chilling, yeah. No running away. 

So is this a vacation for you? What brought you to Barcelona?

It's a little ... I work remote. I'm a designer so I hop around. I'll be in Tel Aviv soon, bouncing around the states, I just like to take my work on the road. 

As someone who saw it [Fyre Festival] all go down, I think you would be more inclined to believe the Hulu documentary was more accurate than the Netflix one, but what were the biggest blind spots you saw in either documentary? 

I think a lot of characters, on both sides, were leaning on specific sides of the story. Hulu had people that Netflix couldn't, and vice versa. Hulu relied heavily on one team, or two teams, describing the story. 

I've seen a lot of people complain that it was ethically slimy that FuckJerry was working on the Netflix documentary, considering their part in Fyre. What do you think of it? 

It was just a client, any other agency would take on. There's a certain time when a client is in ... it puts you in a position that you need to decide what to do next. And at some point Jerry Media quit, and where we are now is a real question of "How do we handle the story?" You can fight it or you can just live with it. 

But do you think it was possible to produce a well-balanced documentary, considering they had a stake in it? 

Hmm. Yeah, I think they could have, if they really wanted to. They could have delved really deep into it. Both of these docs could have been even better if if people got really into it, and got really psychological. There's really so much more both sides could have done, but it's a light watch. 

And why exactly did you leave the company?

There was a multitude of things, but in general I just felt like I was wasting my time there and that I could do everything that I was doing there on my own, that I was just not feeling the energy of my coworkers. Things were just boring me, I was bored and felt mistreated. 

What do you mean by mistreated? 

Not treated the way I wanted to be in the office. The environment was just hostile sometimes, in these weird office-y ways. Salary-wise, I was asking for raises and never getting anything. No benefits, since the day I started there, zero insurance. 

Those are just basic things, those aren't even personal-level requests. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Hi, I’m Oren Aks (@orenjous) on Jan 15, 2019 at 7:36am PST

Do you remember an exact point when you were working on the festival but you realized it was going to shit? 

There were a few key points that I really put things into question. The moment it really hit, though, was when we arrived and I saw it in person. 

But your website still shows off the design you came up with for Fyre's social media, like that Instagram feed. Are you still proud of the work you did for it? 

Yeah, I think as a design piece, I'm proud of it on its own. I don't like what has happened after or because of it, but I think as a standalone it's a pretty cool thing that I've done. 

So you stayed on at Jerry Media after the festival anyway. Why?

I tried to work it out. I had stock in the company and I felt like it would be a shame to leave over some short term, petty feelings, and maybe I can keep working on it because I want to be here for the long run. But after a while, the money just didn't make sense for how I felt. 

What do you think about FuckJerry donating what they made from the festival to the Bahamian restaurant owner who wasn't paid? Do you think it was genuine, or do you think it was just a PR stunt?

I think it was ... I think it was both. He's [Elliot Tebele] not a bad human, but I think the timing ... it was also done in a weird way. But whatever, it doesn't matter. It was done. It was interesting to see now, I'm curious how they feel. 

What do you mean? 

It's just interesting working on something and then having to donate everything you worked for. I didn't do this for money, Hulu never paid me. For me it was time and money put into this. 

Speaking of that, why did you agree to be in the Hulu doc? 

Basically to tell the truth! I knew the Netflix doc was coming out, and I didn't want my story to be unheard. I couldn't go into meetings and show this product off, it had a bad taboo to it. I wanted to clear the air and make sure future clients were like, cool with it, and understand it, and my career is not over forever because of it. 

I've been thinking of ways to show it on my website and my portfolio, and it's complicate. You have to educate somebody and a whole industry just to be like, "See, now that you understand marketing, it's fine!" 

So it's hard to do that in a really quick combover of your website. 

Before the documentary come out, did you advertise the fact that you were involved in Fyre Festival? 

Yeah, it was like, my shining jewel. I was always posting about progress on Instagram, doing polls on what design I should go with. Just having fun with people who are into my work, or my friends. 

And the second it all went down, everyone, even the influencers, took their orange squares off and ... we were watching it in the office, we were watching the internet just take everything down. We were like, we have to make sure we screenshot everything. Top level influencers took theirs down. Mid-range influencers took them down. 

[After the] fallout, people definitely came out the woodwork after I deleted it and said, "Hey, I saw this thing on your Instagram, weren't you part of this thing?" 

How did you usually respond to that? Have you ever like, hid the fact that you were part of it? 

Not hid, but just like, not talked about it. I had a meeting for a pitch about something that would be perfectly aligned with what I did there, and I just left it out. Just telling myself that I'll be fine, even without this great addition to it, I'll be alright. 

But then other times I've worked with some younger entrepreneurs who did understand it and will hire me specifically ... for mentality of how we got things done. 

In a legal sense! Haha, working hard in a legal sense. 

Yeah! There's been a lot of criticism of FuckJerry stealing content, and stealing posts for ads. What's your stance on that, from someone who's worked so heavily in social media?

It's one of those things, I came from a very traditional design background. Things were copyrighted, and you owned your work, and people that ripped you off are really bad. So it was hard for me in the beginning to be like, "Here's your task. You have X, Y, and Z to accomplish for this new account." 

And now, I'm thinking, I'm just gonna illustrate it. I'm gonna do my own design stuff.

They were like, "Yeah, this is great and all, but just do it quicker." 

So the point is that, my background [at Thrillist] was Getty and stock images, just having this very limited amount of what I could and couldn't do, and then the week after just being like "Do whatever you want." 

Do you feel like what you're doing now is more fulfilling? 

Yeah, slightly so. I'm not working as much as I'd like to be. I'm taking it slower, which is nice ... but I'm also ready for bigger projects. 

When looking for projects, what are the red flags you look for to prevent another Fyre Festival?

I think these days what I'm looking for is management. It's a lot about management, who's in charge, what are they saying, how are they backing it up? It's a major, major thing that I never looked at in jobs before. 

I'm just kind of doing my own little research on that end. 

Anything else you wanted to say? 

Just in general, the next thing I'm working on is getting out there. Working on some projects that do good, whatever that looks like in the arts. 

This interview has been edited for clarity. 

WATCH: Ja Rule on Fyre Fest: 'I truly apologize as this is NOT MY FAULT'

4R’s: Encantadia Season 2 (April 12, 2017 mid week-ender episode review)

Episode 193

Recap:

Haliyah, goddess of two moons

Just as Cassiopeia hoped for, a beautiful goddess descended from the moon. Her enchanting voice immediately caught the attention of Cassiopeia, from the way she looks, Cassiopeia already knew that she was a goddess, and she’s none other than Haliyah. But when the latter saw her, she immediately went back to her home. Cassiopeia pleaded and tried to summon Haliyah back but failed, Cassiopeia heard another voice and told her she won’t be able to talk to Haliyah because she is elusive, she doesn’t like getting in touch with other creatures which is why she chose to live in the moon. Cassiopeia wondered who that was, not long after, a strange creature emerged from the stream.

Why, why love?

Alena was angry at what Memfes did with the Adamyans and immediately searched for him. Memfes appeared and made a deal once again with the sang’gre, marry him in exchange for the Adamyan’s freedom, once again, Alena refused his proposal and fought him instead. Because of her anger, Alena unleashed the power of the water gem and accidentally hurt Memfes, Alena realized what she did and became worried about him. Turns out, Memfes was actually fine and was unaffected, the chief of the Gunikars vowed to make Alena fall for him.

Ariana has been training non-stop in Lireo. Ybrahim has been watching her every move, and it reminded him so much of how Amihan fights back then. Manik came and told him how proud he is for having a beautiful wife-to-be, something which surprised Ybrahim. Manik explained that Ariana was betrothed to him as part of following their tribe’s customs, Manik knew Ybrahim feels something towards Ariana and low-key stated to stay away from his woman.

The thief in Etheria

Pirena and Deshna went to Etheria, the younger Hathor warned Pirena not to make her a bait once again. Hitano came and found the sisters, he also found out what the two had been up to. Pirena and Deshna wanted to make it to Etheria without anyone noticing and came up with a plan to make Hitano a bait to trick the Etherian soldiers, Hitano agreed, but only in one condition, if the sisters does not make it back right away, he’ll follow them. The three proceeded with their plan. Hitano made the soldiers run after him while Pirena and Deshna sneaked inside. Pirena and Deshna already made it inside and fought the soldiers guarding Avria’s room, not long after, Asval and Andora came and called their queen to tell her that there was an intruder in Etheria—Hitano. Avria reminded Hitano about the deal Etheria made with Lireo, Hitano bluffed that he was just strolling around Etheria which Asval refused to believe and even accused him of being a spy. Andora suggested to punish him or kill him (which was impossible since Hitano is an ivtre) but Avria did not allow that and set him free instead, after all she made a deal with Danaya and she still has the water gem to obtain.

Hitano went back to Lireo and informed Danaya about what Pirena and Deshna has been up to, and through the help of Imaw’s cane they found out that Pirena wanted to obtain Etheria’s golden hourglass which has the power to turn back time, Danaya already knew Pirena wanted to go back to the time when Cassiopeia’s island was under attack to save Mira. But it wasn’t the time for Pirena to do such thing for it will ruin their plans and the temporary ceasefire will be voided.

The sisters went to Avria’s room where the golden hourglass was but Pirena got disappointed to find out that the hourglass was no longer there. Avria sensed that there is another intruder in Lireo and immediately ordered her soldiers to search the entire palace. Avria went back to her room and found out that the hourglass has been stolen and suspected that it could be the diwatas to committed the crime.

Pirena went back to the camp and was very frustrated, all of her hopes to save Mira has vanished. Deshna calmed her sister down and thought that Avria might have placed the hourglass somewhere else, desperate, Pirena went back to Etheria and confronted Avria. Pirena demanded for the hourglass and warned Avria of how their meeting will end up if Avria does not give her what she wants. Danaya came and stopped Pirena from whatever she was trying to do and apologized to Avria, Danaya took Pirena away. Another misunderstanding emerged between the eldest and the youngest daughter of Mine-a, Danaya reminded her that her decision to back out from the war was for the safety of everyone and told Pirena to stop being selfish. Pirena resented that idea, for all she ever wanted was to regain what she lost. Until now, she hasn’t accepted her daughter and Lira’s deaths and will do everything to get them back. Danaya and Pirena engaged in battle, Avria who has been watching them through her staff was fascinated at how the sisters were trying to kill each other, but still wondered who stole the hourglass.

In the woods, Hagorn was all alone, carrying something. Etheria’s most powerful tool, apparently he was the one who stole it for his own purposes.

Rave/s:

💛 I.love.Danaya’s blue and gold warrior costume! Reminds me so much of Amihan and Danaya’s sisterly moments together, is this a sign that Danaya will ultimately be chosen as the air gem’s keeper? What do you guys think?

❤ Danny and Piry are fighting again, although Danaya has a point, Pirena’s side is also understandable. She’s a mother, and she’ll do anything to bring her daughter and niece back. That aside, I love the pain and tension between Glai and Shai (Sanya), both queens owned the scene. Also special shoutout to Pirena and Deshna! More sisterly moments please.

💀 Hm…so if Hagorn is the one who stole the golden hourglass, I’m pretty sure he’ll make a deal with Pirena before letting her get a hold of it, surrender Hathoria most probably, or I don’t know, Hagorn seemed to be less of a greedy bastard lately and is more focused at eliminating Etheria, it’s hard to tell from his emotionless face.

💎 Guys, I think Avria has already summoned Odessa, Andora, and maybe Animus back from the past before the hourglass was stolen? Nevertheless, I’m excited to see Juvila, kind of curious about Odessa but she’s a bitch so…whatever, and Avisala to bathalumang Haliya! I’m familiar with Valeen but I wasn’t expecting that she’s gonna play the character, well, it’s not that I am that excited for the big reveal, actually I am no longer excited for some new cast member reveal because this tactic to win the audiences is so overused. The only thing that I want to see is Juvila, Raquim and Mine-a’s return along with Lira and Mira (hopefully).

Rant/s:

🤔 Don’t you guys think that Ybrahim is hanging out in Lireo way too much? I would understand if Lira was still there, like I haven’t really seen him doing some kingly stuff, like dude, I know you lost your beloved and your daughter but you have a kingdom to look after, I want to see more of Ybrahim as a king and a leader in action rather than a love sick man. I think this arc is getting way more Lireo-centric. I miss seeing Sapiro and I haven’t really seen Hathoria’s interior in Hara Pirena’s reign and I want to see that.

🙄 STIFF. STIFF. STIFF. Is how I would describe Arra in her training scene, she’s making it so obvious that the routine is choreographed, very unnatural, I’m not a martial artist and she’s not as well but she can always get away with the struggle with GOOD ACTING, understandably Kylie is effortless because she has been doing martial arts since childhood, but there are so many cast members who have no background in martial arts but they can still make people believe that they are excellent fighters, and she had lesser time to train but like I said, she would have pulled it off with acting.  Unfortunately she can’t even make her acting natural so why expect right? Her face was so blank, it lacks the determination, her eyes doesn’t scream passion, she lacks fire, her body language doesn’t tell people how badass she has become, but rather she’s letting everyone know that either sword fighting is not her cup of tea, or she’s just playing around. Honestly I would rather go for a Manik-Ybrahim bromance than this love triangle that only involves two actors.

Best performer/s for this episode: Glaiza de Castro 🔥 Sanya Lopez 🍃

Rating: 8 out of 10💎s

Mid-week thoughts:

Overall this week has been exciting but not EXCITING, exciting. I think this whole getting Haliyah’s attention will be prolonged to give way for new characters which is kind of annoying, and I guess the whole plot of the season 2 will revolve around Emre getting Devas back. It’s annoying how these so-called guardians have yet to prove themselves, if you ask me Lira and Mira are the only ones who deserve the title, what’s the whole point of letting the three others live yet they haven’t done anything to be of help? At least Deshna is doing something, but right now, I feel like Muyak, Pao Pao and the most useless of all useless Ariana are just mere scene fillers, this arc failed to emphasize the story of the new guardians and just like book 1, this second season is still more on the sisters’ stories rather than a transition from the four daughters of Mine-a as saviors of Encantadia…or Amihan rather to “passing the responsibilities” to the seven chosen. Narrative-wise I think that the seven guardian’s plot was just a mere arc filler.

Have a blessed Holy Week and enjoy the long weekend! E correi diu mga bes! As always, thank you so much for the love 😘

Overall best performer/s for this week: Gabbi Garcia 🌊 Sanya Lopez 🍃

Overall rating: 8 out of 10💎s

Photo credits: From Twitter: @GMAEncantadia (Encantadia 2016-2017 official twitter acct) @gmanetwork (GMA Network); official website: gmanetwork.com @GMADrama (GMA Drama)

From Facebook: Encantadia 2016; official website: encantadia.com.ph

Video credits: GMA Network via YouTube & dailymotion

again

Series: simple expedient of... (1st work, one-shot)

Disclaimer: Kuroko no Basuke belongs to Fujimaki-sensei.

Pairing: KiKasa

Summary:- Kasamatsu knows what transpired last night even if it's all blurry, but he doesn't regret it—not even the slightest bit as he runs his fingers along the marks. But what he regrets is that he can't find any sign of Kise everywhere.

Rated: T

Warning: Yaoi, implied sex, time skipping

Link: AO3

Their reunion is nothing special. It's simple, normal and quite accidental; things Kasamatsu never associates with when it comes to Kise Ryouta—because Kise is anything but. It happens when Kasamatsu is waiting at airport baggage claim. He doesn't even notice Kise approaching him from behind, too rapt in staring at the carousel until Kise taps his shoulder.

"Senpai?" Kise asks, surprise written on his face before it melts into happiness.

Kasamatsu should be surprised, he really should, but having received one of many Kise's ridiculous expressions brings a neat little frown he's spent ages perfecting without meaning to, coupled expertly with a raised eyebrow. It's a look that says, very clearly, "how is this my life," and Kasamatsu has used it hundreds of times with Kise.

It has never backfired on him this way.

"Senpai," Kise sighs, his grin faltering, almost resigned, "I find it difficult to believe you find me annoying still, even after the years we left behind."

And before Kasamatsu even has a chance to open his mouth Kise is hugging him, swooping in swiftly, like his reflex hasn't depleted despite having left the basketball world for years, like it's been only yesterday Kise stepped in to take revenge on his defeat against Jabberwock.

"But I guess it's okay since I know that you haven't changed much from the last time we saw," Kise says, happiness evident in his tone.

Back then, Kasamatsu would've kicked Kise all the way to the moon before Kise had a chance to close the distance between them. But since there's a large gap of years in their relationship, Kasamatsu finds himself dumbstruck in Kise's embrace. His luggage in a firm hold of his right hand is jostled, bumped by a passerby and run-away carry-ons and his own racing pulse. Kise's pilot uniform smells of airport and airplane and coffee, and it should make Kasamatsu feel uncomfortable.

It feels nostalgic instead.

"Uh," Kasamatsu manages, sobering up when Kise breaks away. Then Kasamatsu allows himself to really see it, to notice Kise's more defined jawlines, to take in those rich honey-colored eyes, darkened over years and experience.

Time does change Kise—except for his endless chattering, obviously, because the next second Kise is asking him, "What brings you here in London, senpai?" with an eager expression and all.

"Work," he answers, relieved that there's some part in Kise he's familiar with still. Kasamatsu can't imagine Kise otherwise.

That doesn't mean he can maintain their eye contact, though. The awkward atmosphere accumulated from the years of separation showed in his short response. But Kise doesn't seem deterred by it. "I see. How long are you going to stay here?"

"A week. More or less."

"That's cool. Have you booked a hotel? If you haven't, you can stay at my place. It's just around here," Kise offers, grinning. "I'd really love to catch up with you, senpai."

That prompts a collection of pictures flashing across Kasatmasu's mind; a picture of them catching up with each other over bottles of beer, a picture of them commenting on their silly picture posted on Twitter and Facebook, a picture of them talking about their present, future, and maybe their past; Kaijou, Strky, Vorpal Sword, Jabberwock—and the Winter Cup, and then his crush on Kise that he's been buried since forever if they were drunk enough.

It seems like a good plan.

Except that he's here for work. So, Kasamatsu says, "Thanks, but no, thanks. My company has booked me a hotel. It was… nice to see you again, Kise."

There's no tad of guilt in Kasamatsu's voice. No apology, either. It's even, just a matter of fact although it sounds too cruel to his own ears that he has to bite back his wince.

And Kise, being his perfectly self, keeps smiling away. He winks and says, "Well, next time then," and then he's walking away, cutting through the crowds with his bag in his right hand, his cap in the other, and Kasamatsu is wondering if he could wash his thickening guilty away with alcohol.

…

Turns out, there is really a next time.

Kasamatsu has some suspicion that Kise's managed to copy Kuroko's ability somehow because he hasn't noticed Kise's presence until Kise pokes his head into his vision, with a wide smile and all, and Kasamatsu is a second away from bashing the soy sauce into Kise's head before his mind's caught up.

"What the hell," Kasamatsu says, forcing himself to relax before he lowers the sauce into the basket. "Don't scare me like that."

Kise grins, "Fancy meeting you here, senpai."

"Why? Is it a strange concept to see me doing some grocery shopping?" he questions, already moving on to another section. By the way a playful humming drifts from behind, steady, Kasamatsu knows Kise's taken his own initiative to follow him around—just like how he always did back at Kaijou High.

"I might or might not have expected to see you with someone. You know, being a working adult with a stable economy and all," and there's a teasing smile in Kise's voice.

That prompts Kasamatsu turning around with a quizzical look. "Your point?"

"A girlfriend, perhaps?" Kise shrugs. "Better yet, fiancée? Wife?"

"That—" and Kasamatsu cuts himself off, unable to find his words, brain tangled up in embarrassment. While he prides himself on having a stable, quiet life and being a dutiful son to his family, he has no confidence in the relationship department. Talking to the opposite gender seems to be a permanent problem to him. Regardless of how many self-help books he's read or websites he's browsed through, none of them can help him fix his confidence.

That, and his crush on Kise.

"Senpai?"

It snaps Kasamatsu out of his depressing thoughts. Kasamatsu whirls around and stomps away, muttering, "It's none of your business."

"I see," Kise drawls out his words, and they're loaded with amusement. "Say, senpai, do you still have problems talking to women?"

"I told you, it's none of your business—"

But Kise is already at his side. His expression is bordering on macabre, bright and smug and too close by half. "C'mon, senpai, it's been years! You can't be that bad."

Kasamatsu scowls and meets his eyes, which turns out to be a mistake. The mischief sparkling in Kise's eyes is more than a little distracting. In order to cover this, Kasamatsu demands, "Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be working somewhere? I heard pilots are a demanding job."

"It's demanding, alright, but I'm still a human, senpai. I do need some rest, you know," Kise pouts, which looks ridiculously good on his supposedly mature face. "And I'm with someone today."

"Who—"

Before Kasamatsu can even finish his question, a woman comes curling her dainty fingers around Kise's arm. The woman is beautiful, too beautiful, Kasamatsu thinks, even without heavy make-up caked up her face. Her long hair flows past her shoulder, framing her oval face perfectly. Her clothes are decent, not too flashy but trendy enough that it gives her an impression of someone's following the trend. And when she smiles, Kise brightens up at that, returning it with a smile of his own.

And seriously—seriously—if Kasamatsu can't kick him (anymore), then someone else had better because this shouldn't be allowed. People you bond over a sport in the high school and then leave forgotten in favor of moving on with your own life shouldn't be able to make you speechless when you see them with their significant other. People you meet in an airport baggage claim and then don't talk to for thirteen months shouldn't be able to exist, let alone make your chest do the things Kasamatsu's chest is doing.

"Ah, and who's this cutie?" she asks.

And then his panic spiral seizes him up. Kasamatsu can't even wrangle a word out of his throat, too embarrassed, too confused, too speechless, but Kise seems to pick up on his predicament because he's answering her question on his behalf, "He's my senpai from my high school. My basketball captain, when I was in the first year."

"Ah, I remember, Ryouta's precious captain," she exclaims happily, inching closer towards Kasamatsu. "Ryouta talks a lot about you, Captain-san."

It doesn't make sense to feel cornered when there's no wall behind Kasamatsu, but essentially, that's what he's experiencing right then. Kise's girlfriend—his confused brain supplies—hasn't made any move to stop her advance, and he's on the verge of passing out already, suffocated by his own nervousness.

"We should get going. I'm pretty sure senpai's got something else to do," Kise says, winking at him from where Kise's girlfriend can't catch it. "See you again, senpai."

And just like that, Kasamatsu is left alone, dumfounded, conflicted, as he watches Kise drag his beautiful girlfriend away.

…

The third time, he's at a pub drinking himself stupid, and Kise is there to have a taste of the nightlife again after months of traveling across the globe.

Maybe his work has taken a toll on him—workloads, pressure from his boss, evaluation coming in a few days, humiliation from getting rejected by a girl he likes, wild rumors about him being an asexual because he's the only person in the office who hasn't had a girlfriend, or maybe he's plainly missed affection from anyone, or maybe it's just Kise, Kise whom he's been harboring his feelings for, Kise who he wished he could have since the Winter Cup, because he catches himself having a hot making out session with Kise in a dark alley by the time he's in the right frame of mind.

There's alcohol in Kise's mouth, in Kasamatsu's mouth, now. It's sour, almost sharp and vile against his teeth, and there are circles of color bleeding into his vision but Kasamatsu can't bear to close his eyes and blacks out—and perhaps it's just the alcohol talking but he doesn't want Kise to stop, hasn't ever wanted Kise to stop.

"Don't—don't go," he practically sobs and chases after the sour taste in Kise's mouth when they pull away for a breath. He's probably hurting Kise by the way he's clenching Kise's hair, hard, but he doesn't care, he needs this so badly—his touch, his kiss, his everything, just Kise, Kise, Kise.

"Senpai," Kise whispers and that's all to it.

He takes a hissing breath and kisses back because there's a first time for everything, and he hears Kise's rattling gasp and feels more alcohol seeping into his mouth and god—god, he's going to black out like this if he doesn't black out from this. Kise is making terrible noises and breathing into Kasamatsu's mouth, so unromantic but everything's on fire and all Kasamatsu can think about is not surrendering as his back is pushed up against the dirty wall behind him and his heart stutters but doesn't quite stop and he keeps kissing and kissing and kissing until all he drinks and remembers is Kise's warmth.

When he opens his eyes, it's already morning and he's in his bed. There's convincing evidence of yesterday's event littered around the room; the back of his jacket is dirty from scraping against the wall, the room reeks of alcohol and sex, his half-naked state when he woke up, with only his shirt and blanket as barriers of his dignity, aches in the places where it shouldn't be, and there are suspicious marks on his neck and collar bone and inner thighs.

Kasamatsu knows what transpired last night even if it's all blurry, but he doesn't regret it—not even the slightest bit as he runs his fingers along the marks. But what he regrets is that he can't find any sign of Kise everywhere.

…

The fourth time, it's a disaster.

No, it isn't a disaster caused by him. Or Kise, or anyone, for that matter. It's a natural disaster, which isn't too bad actually, but enough to force the authorities to put all flights on hold. After sending a text message to his boss to inform him of his current whereabouts, complete with the picture of the information board to chase away any doubts in his boss' mind, Kasamatsu navigates himself through the crowd at the waiting hall of JFK Airport to have a look at the café—he doesn't like coffee, how can people handle its bitterness is beyond him, but the working life is a bitch without caffeine in his system.

There, he finds Kise, still in his pilot uniform, chatting in English with one of the baristas. For some reason, anger flares up in his chest.

Kise perks up once he catches him from the corner of his eye. He pulls himself away from the counter and waves enthusiastically, "Senpai."

"You're such a disgrace," Kasamatsu says, gravely, by way of greeting, before he can even stop himself.

"That's… sudden. Where's the fire?" Kise asks, blinking.

No, he doesn't get affected by Kise's nonchalant response or obliviousness. No, he doesn't get affected by that lonely morning he woke up to after the amazing night he spent together with Kise. No, he doesn't get affected by Kise's one-sided decision to move on after that stupid mistake.

No, it's nothing to do with him at all. He's simply annoyed by Kise's flirtatious tendency even though he's got a girlfriend already. So he tells Kise this, "How dare you flirt with another girl when you have someone waiting for you at home?"

"Pardon me?" Kise blinks again.

"Your girlfriend, asshole, the one I met at the supermarket a year ago," Kasamatsu grits out.

"Ah, that," Kise makes an understanding sound and then laughs out loud before he gestures to the barista to put his order on hold and drags Kasamatsu to the nearest round table. Although he's older between the two, it's obvious that Kise has the upper hand due to their height difference.

"Let me go, you little twat! It's rude to manhandle your senpai like this," Kasamatsu yells, haphazardly flailing his briefcase he has in the other hand in Kise's direction, with no success.

At last, Kise releases him. He smiles, resignedly, "Senpai, you're really adorable, you know that?"

That causes his hackles to rise. Kasamatsu scowls, "The hell you're on this time?"

"Senpai," Kise sighs, taking a seat on the round stool. "She's not my girlfriend."

Kasamatsu stares at him stupidly.

"The girl you met the other day, she's not my girlfriend. She's my sister," Kise says, almost whispers like he's very fond of this—of seeing him get worked up over a misunderstanding. Then he keeps smiling away. As if he's waiting for the realization to sink in. As if he's waiting for Kasamatsu's reaction.

"What," is all Kasamatsu manages once he finds his voice again.

"Yes, senpai, my sister. The eldest one, she doesn't always come home, so you've never had a chance to meet her before."

So, that warm smile…

Oh.

"Oh." And Kasamatsu trails into silence then, too embarrassed to even meet Kise's eyes across the round table. He waits for something to break without even realizing it—a mocking reply from Kise, or a stupid laugh, even, anything from Kise, because Kise is loud and boisterous and offensive and impossible—things he's grown used to back at Kaijou High but it feels so foreign now.

Still, he receives no response from Kise. Unsure of what Kise has on his mind, Kasamatsu continues his silence treatment. After three minutes of silence, Kasamatsu thinks enough is enough and steels his nerves to check if Kise has left his seat already.

Kise is still in his seat, looking straight in the eye. For someone who's two years younger than him, Kise looks so mature, so confidence, so sure of himself, and Kasamatsu feels his cheek warm up under his scrutiny.

"I think you owe me an apology, senpai," Kise starts again.

That snaps him out, "Why should I apologize to you? I'm your senpai, you little twat."

"Senpai, you did say something not nice to me in front of that kind barista," Kise pouts. "Would it kill you to say sorry for accusing me of doing something I don't even do in the first place? Poor that lady, she probably thought it was directed to her."

"Fine," he huffs out, averting his eyes away, "I'm sorry, and I'll tell that to her later, satisfied?"

Kise chuckles. "Insufficient, but I'll gladly accept it. Now, do you mind telling me why you're so grumpy today?"

Kasamatsu gives him a dark look. "You should know by now this is my default mood, especially when I have to deal with you."

"Annoyed, yes. But grumpy? I don't think so. Do you realize there's a big difference between annoyed and grumpy, senpai?" Kise shoots back. When he refuses to answer, Kise carries on—and to Kasamatsu's horror, with a simple demonstration by placing his finger between Kasamatsu's brows, "Here. When you're annoyed, only one or two lines will appear there. When you're grumpy, they're knitted so close like they're bound to be glued together forever."

"You—" he doesn't finish his saying. Instead, Kasamatsu swats the hand away.

"It's true, after all," Kise grins triumphantly, "Wanna tell me about it, senpai?"

"I thought we've established that I got grumpy because I misunderstood you? Look, one apology is all you get, okay?"

"It seems that there's more than a simple misunderstanding," Kise leans in. Now that he's blocking the warm light streaming from the round bulb on the ceiling, half of the shadow plays across his face, menacingly, mischievously. "Say, senpai, does this have or have nothing to do with that night?"

His heart thumps loudly in his chest. Kasamatsu backs away a little, and if his voice is wavering, he chalks it up to Kise invading his privacy bubble, "What the fuck you're talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about, senpai."

While he regrets that Kise left him to wake up alone in the morning, regrets that he wished Kise stayed, even, regrets every selfish desire and feeling he's harboring from Kise, Kasamatsu hopes it remains buried down in the back of his mind, hopes that Kise, of all people, doesn't bring up that topic again, because it makes all the pain and frustration and humiliation real.

The pain in the morning after when he discovered he was alone in the room. The humiliation he felt when Kise decided to discard him like a trash.

"I told you, I don't know what you're talking about," Kasamatsu is all but growl, defensiveness thick in his voice.

Kise stares at him for a while, and then for a long moment, probably for the longest silence moment in Kasamatsu's life. Kasamatsu is starting to fidget under his stare before Kise straightens his posture, sighing, "If you say so."

A simple sentence but it contains so much disappointment, the one that Kasamatsu doesn't understand its reason to be there, and yet it almost makes him flinch. He sees a flash of hurt in Kise's honey-colored eyes, and there's a sinking feeling in the bottom of Kasamatsu's stomach.

And then Kise gets up, and that sinking feeling is balling into a knot, hard and cold, almost too painful to bear that Kasamatsu panics. He gets to his feet, too, and grabs a hold of Kise's wrist out of pure reflex, mouth moving but there's no word produced. Apprehension has gathered in his throat, so thick that he can't even say things he wants to say.

Kise has a hopeful look on his face, bright and promising of something in the future.

No, he can't leave it like this. He has so much to tell Kise, so much to say, "Kise—"

An announcement breaks off his saying, loud and clear that it rings around the hall and robs away Kasamatsu's courage, and he's stumped into silence once again.

"Senpai?"

He opens his mouth. Closes it. And grimaces. "It's nothing."

With that little smile that holds disappointment, the one appears only when Kise doesn't want people to know how much in pain he's in, Kise gently pries his fingers around the wrist and says, "It was nice to see you, senpai."

It sounds very much like a goodbye, and it strikes him hard, so hard that he blurts out, "Stay, please."

Kise's eyes widen in surprise at that.

"Stay, please," he says again, eyes dropping to his leather shoes, unable to decide whether he simply doesn't want to be alone in this foreign country or he doesn't want to be alone, alone anymore. "I, uh, I'm all alone here, and I have no one to talk to and I—please, stay with me."

There's a beat of silence between them while the sounds of people milling about and orders calling out from the bar serve as the background music. Kasamatsu still has his eyes lowered, and he doesn't know if Kise has left, which is probably the best decision Kise could've picked since he's not worthy of Kise's patience at all.

And there's an arm around Kasamatsu while the other is cradling his jaw, urging him to look up and that's it, clashed with the most intense gaze he's ever encountered, the one that's used on the court to learn his opponent's moves, the one's filled with so much concentration and intensity, Kasamatsu's pulse jump.

"Kise—" is all he manages to say before the rest of his words get swallowed by Kise's kiss.

The kiss is painful, full of teeth, and their noses keep bumping, but all discomforts are thrown out the window once Kise sweeps his tongue in. It turns out Kise really has been holding himself back for a very long time, because when he lets out all his pent up emotional, it's like a hurricane, and Kise is kissing him fiercely and there are hands on Kasamatsu's ass—and oh, Kasamatsu is surprisingly okay with that.

"Kise, Kise, Kise," he chants when the kiss finally ends. They're panting a little, breath clouding around their faces, warm and endearing, "Stay, please, with me—"

"Yes, yes, yes," Kise says, winding his arms around Kasamatsu's waist, possessively. "I'll stay, I'll stay with you, for you—but, but not now."

Kasamatsu pulls away and blinks at him, fear crawling up his chest. "What—"

"No, no, no, senpai, not like that," Kise shakes his head frantically. "It's just—that," and he points at the ceiling with an apologetic smile and another announcement chimes in.

Understanding settles in, and Kasamatsu makes a sound, "Ah, I see."

"Yeah, duty call. Sorry about that."

"No, it's okay," Kasamatsu tells him, forcing himself to relax. It doesn't take long for him to calm down now that he has Kise's warmth and scent around him. "Someone's gotta fly that gigantic, wing-y thing, right?"

"It's airplane, senpai. Airplane," Kise chastises him.

Kasamatsu can't help but chuckle at that and fails to notice a look passing over Kise's face that earns Kasamatsu a sweet kiss on the lips. Kasamatsu waits a minute and then throws caution and propriety and common decency to the winds, not really caring about the various reactions around them, and returns the kiss just as sweet.

They kiss until another announcement pipes up. Kise rests his forehead on Kasamatsu's and breathes out, "Until next time, senpai."

This time, Kasamatsu is able to reply back, "Until next time," with a broad smile.

…

It's been seven months, and Kasamatsu hasn't heard a word from Kise since.

His life is sailing just fine, not too smooth but it's nothing that Kasamatsu can't handle. He still stutters a lot in the mixers, and his boss hasn't promoted him. His work is piling up high on his desk, and his colleagues keep teasing him mercilessly with remarks about his pathetic love life, and it grows worse since Valentine's Day is just around the corner.

By the time Valentine's Day arrives, half of the office is empty. Only the sound of keyboard clicking fills the room. While Kasamatsu appreciates the silence, he feels a little empty inside when his eyes drift over to the empty table diagonally across him.

The day feels way too long for a single man like him. The moment the clock strikes five, he goes straight home, annoyed by the couples pouring into the street, or the special promotions for couples they advertise around as if they're mocking him for being alone on this glorious, romantic day.

With a careful plan on his mind; drink, eat, warm bath, and sleep—not necessarily in that order, Kasamatsu is stepping out of the elevator when he finds someone curled up against the door of his apartment, hands around his middle and half of his face framed by his black cap. Surprised, Kasamatsu slows down his walking to almost a halt.

Instead of feeling alarmed, it brings a smile to Kasamatsu's lips. Even in the distance, he recognizes that posture anywhere, and that blonde hair peeking out of the cap.

Kasamatsu crosses the hallway in a few, long strides, and the man remains in deep sleep, unperturbed by the heavy footfalls of Kasamatsu's shoes. He places his hand on top of the drawn-knee, carefully as not to startle the man, and says, "Kise."

It takes a while for Kise to be awake, but Kasamatsu enjoys watching it, nonetheless. It's like watching a sunrise, he thinks.

Kise rubs at his eyes, all bleary and childish-like, "…senpai?"

"Yeah, it's me."

A smile on Kise's face mirrors his own, if not brighter in a way that only Kise's smile does, "Happy Valentine's Day, senpai."

Screw the plan; he's going to do whatever Kise wants to do with—to—him that night.

-fin 1st work-