unfortunately for everyone especially myself i am still thinking about minecraft story mode

I'm a sucker for people getting to live and how the narrative resolves around that. Could I get Barb Lives Side A for WIP Wednesday?

From WIP Wednesday

There are a few things that might have tipped the scales of Barbara Holland’s death.

It might have been the radio, music playing low but audible from where Barb sits to dangle her feet into the pool. It might have been the pool’s heaters, disorienting the creature that hunted her.

But mostly, it was that Barb was a girl scout. She knows how to dress a wound. There’s blood in the water, and blood on the deck, but it’s not soaking through the bandage.

handoffs

tho for real, while talking with folks today, i do believe that’s gabriel and not loki [going off of gabe’s story that loki gave him the disguise at some point] due to language he used. 

the interesting one was the use of ‘samesies’ as a friend said, which came about mostly, according to google, around 2007. which is also, interestingly, is the same year gabe’s/loki’s first episode aired lol. 

but also, i do believe wholeheartedly that it was in fact chuck and not just a rob benedict easter egg, particularly bc this interview with robbie dropped before the episode:

Samuel is a big mythology character to come into the series. What’s the mandate been about how many of these “known characters should be folded into the first season?

You know, our mandate — and that’s a great phrase for it — was: What’s the story? What’s the story we’re trying to tell with these characters? They can’t just be Easter eggs and fun for the fans. We never said “no” to any character. We never said, like, “Absolutely not!” But when we got into the nitty gritty of “if we do bring in that character, what’s the story? What are we saying about Supernatural? And are we breaking anything that we, therefore, have to buy? Any time that was the case, where it felt like there was no more story here, and therefore it was just an Easter egg fun thing, we moved on from it. It’s not like they’re Pokemon and we’ve got to collect all of them. We really wanted to find a way to tell our story, and then how those character could exist within ours. So that was really the mandate.

basically, they’re not throwing in OG SPN characters for shits and giggles, they’re there for a purpose. And they even did a tighter shot on Rob playing the piano, and he was wearing a party city wig, AND he was wearing white. 

you don’t casually throw in a rob benedict reference because for every new fan who won’t understand the significance or may pick up on the fact that it’s him, you have more of us OG SPN fans who would. And yeah, I know it was LS performing, but Rob didn’t say he was going to be there. No one was expecting it. I mean some of us were expecting for a while to see him pop up but there was no expectation that he would this episode. 

and i’m thinking about this TBT he posted a while ago, as chuck, in swan song, wearing white, with an in-universe prequel comic book poster framed behind him of john winchester. 

and another friend pointed out that there were quite a few lens flares during carlos’ singing scene. 

so yeah. 

that was chuck, that was gabe, and no i don’t think gabriel is stuck in a mirror. that’s just what he does to throw people off his trail. and if he is stuck in that mirror, obviously we know he doesn’t stay there. 

and now we obviously know that dean’s in their timeline too 

so — are they really in existence right now? are they in the empty? are they all sharing a mass hallucination? you have gabriel using modern language indicating time travel, you have dean and the car indicating time travel, and you have chuck who should not be having powers now if we are following the story linearly from OG SPN 

Damn I love this show I can’t wait for more. 

(parent scenario) You get into a fight at school

A/n: This is a future with them as your parents. Gus, The Collector, and Lilith aren't here because children (Gus is 16 in the future but still) and Aroace (She can adopt but whatever.) Also, you didn't start the fight here.

Amity: Coming to the school as fast as possible. God, she is so worried for you. Just really hopes you're okay (thankfully you are.) Once she finds out you're okay she acts like she wasn't that worried. Not like she didn't care, she's not her mom. But more like "I wasn't even that worried." She's a horrible liar. 

Luz: Uh-oh. She is super shaky while driving to pick you up. Once she picks you up she bombarded you with questions. Not to accuse you, quite the opposite actually. She wants to know if need to say anything about how that kid is been treating you at the next parent-teacher meeting.

Willow: Isn't mad if you didn't start the fight, which as I mentioned, you didn't. And if Willow is your mom, you 100% won. Listen you may not work as much as she does, but she does teach you self-defense. She patches up any wounds while listening to what happened.

Hunter: The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree (kinda.) He got into a lot of fights at the Coven. They never turned physical but that's because they couldn't. So, it concerns him even more. He's worried that this will be the first of many. He's a little relieved that you didn't start the fight. But now (Despite also knowing self-defense) he's more worried for your safety. He does calm down when you turn out to be fine.

Vee: Hey, Masha started fights at the camp! Like mother's nonbinary crush like gender-neutral child. She's worried for your safety but besides that doesn't care. I mean she was in jail for a good chunk of her life and her crush started a lot of fights. Her ass DOES NOT know social norms!

Raine: You know how Vee didn't care because her crush always started fights? Yeah, Raine's crush (now wife I think) also started fights but they're more worried because of that. Listen they love Eda but she's the definition of bad advice for school etiquette. Is relieved that you didn't start the fight (and that you're okay.) They do tell you not to follow any school advice Eda gives you.

Eda: "Y/n got into a fight!? Did they win or lose?" As mentioned in Raine's she is not the best influence. When you tell her the details she cheers you on. She would probably get you a gift for winning the first fight you got into.

Emira: Samesies! (Holy fuck there are so many mischievous characters in Toh.) That being said she doesn't support you getting into fights, not that this was your choice. Does plan revenge though. I mean if that kid wants to fuck around they can find out.

Edric: Panic. But also proud. His child's also a delinquent! Once he finds out you are okay he cheers you on but discourages you in the same sentence. "You won? Congrats, never get into a fight again."

Round 1 - Side B

Propaganda below ⬇️

Kristen

Once known as a Chosen of Helio, Kristen lost faith, found out she was gay, escaped the abusive church, and helps a lonely abused goddess return from the dead and continue the goddess of mystery. She also ends up creating her own god in the middle there, but decides it's kind of super annoying and eventually nopes out.

Kristen might be skirting a couple lines here so I'll provide my reasoning for why I think she might belong in the competition but feel free to choose as you wish. Kristen used to follow Helio, and her entire relationship with religion and Helio is meant to show a story of a queer teen leaving an abusive Christian church (I'm not sure if it's specifically Catholic or not, I'm Jewish and don't really understand the differences very well). Throughout the story Kristen meets Helio, finds out how much of a dick he is, finds out how terrible the Church has been and becomes more aware of how her family and the Church are racist/homophobic/abusive/etc., learns more about the world and breaks her ties with the Church, and then goes to find her own faith and a god worth worshipping.

girl is miserable for so much of the first season. girl is battling the brain demons. girl is battling the actual demons. and the actual angels. and the football coach who she knows from church. girl has brothers named bucky bricker and cork. girl invents a new god and cannot get people to convert to her faith apart from a singular dude named craig because she is so visibly annoyed by her own god. girl is gay and has a werewolf girlfriend. girl is so kinky. girl has a dexterity score of 4. not modifier. score. i'm kissing girl on the mouth i love her a lot.

She was a chosen prophet of Helio but oops she’s a very lesbian and so she has to battle with her faith hating gay people as she realizes she is gay people. Early on dies and goes to heaven and discovers Helio is a frat bro and doesn’t really vibe with that. Eventually dies again and fights past angels to get to Helios office and finds her old principal (who died to resurrect her the first time she died, it’s a long story, watch dimension 20, shits wild). And so he makes a deal to help her if she helps him break out of heaven. And also while she’s in heaven she makes a new god whole cloth out of her current beliefs. (She later finds that god annoying because it’s the embodiment of “YES! WOW! YOU CAN DO IT!!” The god turns from YES! Into Yes? In her changing faith. She later resurrects an old god of dreams who was corrupted). But yeah so she has religious trauma out the wazoo. She went to church camp that was actually a front for a cult within the Helioic faith. Idk if it’s Catholicism exactly cause I’m not catholic but it’s clearly parallel so some real world Christ based religion.

At one point they drop 10 stories because they thought they could use their ribbon to fly. They couldn’t.

her entire arc over fantasy high's first season is realizing she was gay and also that her church and the people in it were basically a cult which like SAMESIES and she does end up going to heaven after dying by slipping on corn and getting incredibly disappointed by the jesus equivalent of her universe (his name is helio and he is a frat boy) and after she's resurrected she makes her own god (not very catholic sorry) and preaches about it (pretty catholic of her tbh.) aside from the religious trauma some other kristen fun facts and highlights are that she once ribbon danced down the center of a spiral staircase and lived, she carried a bible around for a good chunk of her freshman year of high school, and her last name isn't a reference to anything because applebees does not exist in the world of fantasy high.

View more propaganda in her tag

SCP-166

Catholic deer girl. She’s just nature themed. Wants to have access to a Catholic phone line. But is not allowed to due to it risking the possibility of exposing SCPs to the world. But she has a rosary. Just unhinged.

She was just left in a convent and was raised catholic. But I love her because she has the most unhinged father and she's close to getting there istg

I don't actually mean to vague this person and if I knew where to find the post I'd add on to it directly but I saw a post the other day discussing the prevalence of "if you look at/perceive x thing then something terrible will happen" as a trope in modern horror. Which yeah, I have noticed that a lot in recent years! And the post talked about how that tied in with the surveillance state, with the constant threat of being caught in some stranger's TikTok video just for existing in public, etc etc and yeah this is all good discussion. But then the post was like "btw cosmic horror isn't really in vogue any more because people aren't afraid of the unknown" which. Man WHERE do you think the very trope we are discussing was popularized? Cosmic horror is about fear of the unknown sure, but perhaps even more than that it's about the fear of knowing too much. the only way to survive Cthulhu is to remain in ignorance of its existence. the only way to survive Jean Jacket is to keep your head down and never look directly at it (that or feed it a giant balloon but look--). samesies. do you get me

which hollywood Chris(es) would become besties with kevin, jeremy, jean?? (100% acceptable for each of our boys to have their own personal Chris bestie)

ahhh ANON!! Asking the real questions omg??? Holy shit, the amount of analysis I had to do to answer this question lmao.

Ok ok so....BESTIES. So I looked at this from two ways - the "we're so alike, we're besties" angle and the "Holy shit, we're nothing alike, so I totally want to hang out with you."

SO. Without further ado:

"Kya, we're samesies!" Besties:

Jeremy = Chris E. - I mean the strong ethics, the nice guy persona, dog lover, goofy laugh, loves his mom, everybody finds him to be a sweetheart but also a prankster on set?? 100% Jeremy.

Kevin = Chris H. - dude is traveling the globe, always posts about his workout routine and healthy eating, super present on social media, body of a god, a little sassy. Yeah, he has Kevin written all over him even if their sense of humor isn't the same.

Jean = Chris P. - kind of the lone wolf of the Chrises? Super versatile acting range, can mess with himself or be super serious. Also, kind of standoffish but not in a bad way? Just more of like a reserved, mature way. Very Jean-coded.

"Bro, you're so cool I wanna hang out w/ you" Besties:

Jeremy = Chris H. - there would be so many "bro!!!" and "dude!!!" exclamations here, I can't even. Like two naughty kids in a candy shop, running around and causing all sorts of mischief while laughing hysterically. They just genuinely enjoy each other's company. Massive jock energy.

Kevin = Chris P. - I feel like there would be this complete sense of bafflement and like 'how do you tick' going on. It would be a constant game of Kevin trying to "figure him out" that would crack Chris P. up I think. Like, he doesn't know this dude's deal, and Chris certainly isn't clarifying it for him.

Jean = Chris E. - Jean would choose him for the sole reason of wanting to mess with him. Like I think he would just do the whole "shock and awe" thing to get Chris' reaction and that trademark laugh. (He does not find it cute; he does NOT find it cute, ok???) Then Chris E. would turn the tables on him and prank him back and I think Jean would be both scandalized and impressed.

Phew. So there's my take. HILARIOUS ask, anon. Thanks!

okie dokie well as threatened over here, behold beneath the cut a quick - ok no. COMICALLY LARGE AND LONG summary of some choice events of Elysium!Loki’s past that had taken place not only long before his formal entrance into Elysium, but also long before [coughing fit] the events of uhhh 2012 - AND EVEN, ALSO, long before the events of [LONGER COUGHING FIT] 2011, if yyyaaaa knowwwww—

[tw I guess for. well a multitude of things but child death is a big one.,, also uh, regular murder, and. such.]** actually that’s all in part TWO?? yeah this ended up having to be TWO PARTS UHHHHHH—-

basically uwuwuwu the summary rundown of this entire post is that the ~*famous*~ stories of Norse mythy have very much taken place for Elysium!Loki, just like. all long beforehand!!

first! some additional background. we know that in the elysiumverse when Loki ended up down there fresh off his attempted world domination the agreement for him to be allowed to stay was if he was able to be rehabilitated and like. get fuckin therapy. no supervillains allowed;

we’ve done a similar sequence of events in Elysium a couple times, been calling it Dream Theater or Memory Theater where by recruiting the assistance of dream gods and sleep gods (Epi, Hypnos) and eventually some therapy gods (accessory background character Epione, literal therapist of Elysium, tho she wasn’t around in the beginning Loki era), the memories of events past can be “entered” and viewed like a movie, relived by an audience. okay yes the Loki show did a smaller scale version of this which is truly hilarious but we did it first in 2012 ahahh. Dream Theater is initiated if the owner of said memories finds it too difficult to talk about any of it and finds it easier to just Show™ (like Maci, flashbacking with Tory about Thanatos like 3 yes ago)….. or if the owner, again fresh off a streak of villainy, petulantly refuses to open his goddamn mouth about a single thing to try to fix himself and thus sends everyone forcibly spelunking (you know who. LOKI. AHHH).

this is maybe not the best of therapy methods. tbh. but it….. kinda worked I fuckin guess lmAO???? we love our dubious morality here in the palace!! Well anyway so collectively indeed, a decade ago Tory, Epi, and actually the Elysium!version of Thor too (plus some others?? idk some things have been retconned I think) did gather round to learn some interesting and horrifying things about Loki’s past prior to where he was then in that moment, via prying Loki’s memories open and just watching it all unfold! I’ve certainly discussed many of those events over the years but here is a cute compilation because my brain is in Loki mode lately and yknow what maybe some of you don’t know all this! BEHOLD-

firstly yyeahah that ye old actual m/cu fanon thing of “:(( aww thors friends hated Loki and always left him out and bullied him since childhood so of course he would snap” with no real textual evidence of that in the— okay whatever but that IS actually canon in Elysium lmao oops. per my Brand ™ this fits our trend of All Olympians Are Evil, samesies re the Aesir and Odin/frigga being actual assholes on purpose - so that’s first things first

(Worth mentioning I guess thor was oblivious to all of that and particularly how Loki FELT about all of it, as well as some events that will follow, until all these dream sessions)

next - sleipnir! all of loki’s kids very much exist in the Elysium!verse - although sleipnir is one of just two remaining who have NOT been freed in some capacity into Elysium by the modern day ;(( the story is basically mythologically accurate and idk, Loki as a late teen?? Just vanished off the face of the planet and then returned nine months later with a little spider foal. which Odin promptly was like…. Ok sick, free horse. confiscated! Cool dad very traumatizing!! sleipnir remains to this DAY imprisoned in odin’s stable, he IS fully sentient just. horse shaped. scream.

Loki’s choice rebellion to follow was flouncing off to hook up with random Jotunn giantess Angrboda whomst I have actually drawn one time somewhere in here - she was kindave a dick <3 but when Loki ended up pregnant he continued to secretly see her for his own ulterior motives (COLLECTING CHILDREN) - the three that angrboda sired were, in order; Hela, Fenris (Fen) and Jörmundgandr (Jör),,

Loki by that time had picked up the habit of just fuckin up and disappearing every time he ended up knocked up, traumatized by the loss of Sleipnir and hiding pregnancies/ the babies from his family who would prob whisk them away as well. yyyou might or should know the trio’s deal from Norse mythos?? hela, a regular little girl EXCEPT half of her body was deceased and decomposing away; Fen, giant wolf - Jör, giant sea serpent. they at least started small ;0; after Jör was born Angrboda was like holy shit can you stop with these fuckin KIDS what IS THIS and peaced out officially. Loki was fully hiding from the palace and kept and raised them “out of the eyes of” Odin and co.,, thor did eventually discover them and kept them secret too tho he was uh. alarmed and slightly grossed out but ok bet whatever Loki wanted to do he was supportive iggg

To keep up appearances once thor knew about the kids Loki would pop back up in Asgard again here and there just solely so no one else went out to look for him. also now since thor could babysit. lmao. around this time he met SIGYNNNN-

yes >:)) sigyn DOES exist in Elysium!! she has never made a real appearance in the elysiumverse other than in these flashbacks at the time. Sigyn was also a sorceress and befriended Loki when he caught her defending him to people being bitchy in the palace; he eventually snuck her out to his secret house and introduced her to the three kiddos whomst loved her <33 Hela was like seven or eight ish?? obv soon after Loki and Sigyn began hooking up and became a couple

aaand then around then Odin (who, knows everything, and of course had known about the three since. Day one.) Sent a notice of first warning to his son that the three Monsters were a direct threat to Asgard and needed to be peacefully surrendered for imprisonment or else be seized by force. bc that’s what great grandparents do 🙃 furious obv Loki went straight to Odin to plead his case and refuse to his face to give them up but that conversation went 💞badly💞

a second letter of warning was sent instead - Loki devoted all of his energy to convincing Odin that they were not a threat, recruiting thor to try and argue in his favor too. this also did not workkkk. a third letter - sent, shredded - as Loki began to plot a way to fully hide himself and the three forever IT WASSS TOO LATE and an ambush was orchestrated on their house~ the literal only thing that stopped Loki from slaughtering the guards sent to imprison them away was the looming threat of violence to the kids and to keep them physically safe Loki surrendered, though sigyn still had to hold him back. Hela was like 15 years oooldddd

So again, this is now Norse mythos, the fates of Loki’s children, literal children at that time - Hela was cast into isolation in Niflheim to become Queen of the Dead. she’s still there actually!! she’s the other one of Loki’s kids who have not moved into Elysium :(( Jör was thrown into Midgard where he resided in the oceans as an ouroboros circling the world; Fen was imprisoned in special chains in (god I don’t remember where and I don’t feel like looking it up) anyway. all scattered away. and taken--

for thefirst time literally ever i have RUN OUT OF SPACE IN A TUMBLR POST???? I MAXED MY CHARACTER LIMIT OUT?!!!!! this will be continued in a. Part two wtf!!

Samesies! True crime buddies! I recommend The Sinner on Netflix as well, it’s not a doco or anything it’s a fictional series but, it’s about some fucked up shit. Season 1 and 2 are brilliant.

Honestly, I don’t know which one lol. Individually they’re all so irritating lol, so I’m going for a mixture of them all lol. Sadness, I would punch her in the face. When she touched all the memories and makes them all sad!!!! I was ready to GO. Which one are you?

A x

Oh yeah, I've seen season 1! Excellent. I also liked True Detective, but primarily season 1 lol.

OH, and all the ones on Ted Bundy. I've seen pretty much all of it lol, serial killer/psychopaths fascinate me 🫣

But yes, true crime besties!

Hmm, well, it all depends on the head you're in! Sadness is in control of the mom because sadness has a lot of empathy - so maybe as a kid, she's uncontrolled and clumsy, and then as you grow older, sadness turns into deeper feelings which develops empathy.

Anger is in control of the dad - not necessarily because he's angry, but because he maybe acts more on impulse, and doesn't always think things through.

It's fascinating! For me I actually think Sadness would be in my control room at this stage in my life. I tend to tune in to other peoples feelings a lot (which can be exhausting) and I act more logically and on the inside instead of outbursts lol. Otherwise Joy. I like to think Joy and Sadness work as a team inside me 🥰 hehehehe

But that movie 🥺 oh gosh. Bing Bong 😭

I have him as a plushie and he smells like cotton candy 🥺 I love him haha

(I'm not a weirdo, I swear, I have a lot of memorabilia and know a lot about the movies because I used to work for Disney haha)

Oh hey something I meant to ask earlier--do you want to elaborate on the gender tendencies of your s/is? I find the different ways genderfluids approach gender when self inserting kind of fascinating. Mine are boring and just stick to my main gender.

Yeah, I'd love to!!!

My gender is often influenced by my romantic relationships, honestly. I've had relationships where I felt very much like a masculine partner, and where I felt like a feminine partner. Whether I'm a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a 'no gender, thank you' often depends on the person I'm with in a really abstract way.

My current (canon/real life) relationship with Jo feels both sapphic and beyond gender: we're 'partners' before we're anything gendered, and I feel like our relationship doesn't really have settled gender dynamics.

So yeah! My gender can fluctuate depending on my mood, the time of year, and the person I'm dating. I'm just going to chat about each of my self-inserts, I guess!

DC: Basically no difference between their experience of gender and mine! We're samesies. Genderfluid, doesn't often use labels aside from nonbinary, but internally aware of specifics.

Magic School Bus: Definitely in a sapphic-leaning relationship! Feminine in a nonbinary way. Val identifies as a lesbian, and I don't feel invalidated by that: her definition of 'lesbian' has enough space to include my fluidity, but I also think of our relationship as a lesbian one, and that influences my gender presentation and identity.

Critical Role: My gender is much less examined and defined in the Critical Role universe. I'm just rolling along using they/them pronouns and presenting feminine on regular days, but dressing masculine for formal events.

BNHA (Shigaraki): I'm a feminine-leaning caregiver so there's definitely that part to the relationship. Outside of that, not much different from my normal/canon gender!

Homestuck: Definitely leans towards gendervoid in a transmasc way. My gendervoid days are binder-and-hoodie days, which is this self-insert's standard. Because Dirk is canonically mlm, this is partly from necessity and partly because I just relate more to the boys in Homestuck than the girls, so my self-insert leans masculine.

Rick and Morty: Gender in the context of aliens and nihilism becomes a lot less serious and a lot more fun. My s/i is simultaneously less worried about labelling themself and even more delighted by the multitude of ways that humans talk about gender experiences. They're a neogender hoarder, but still generally use 'nonbinary' as an umbrella term.

BNHA (Toshinori): Exactly the same experience as me. Very much views their relationship with Toshi as queer, but aware of it as straight-passing.

helloooooo again, just stumbled upon "pour un flirt" by axel enderlin and, pronouns notwithstanding, it sounds like a good fit! also, more thoughts re: ep 5; given what I recall from the previous episode, morgane was like "I'm buying a house--nevermind I'm not" *disappears for two months* GOSH of only we'd gotten more insight into what went on during that time! (sure, it was to establish roxane as a Serious Girlfriend, but think of the fic possibilities... so many missing scenes...)

(Julia's adventures with the HPI anon)

Oh my gosh, anon, I didn't know there were covers of that song!! I only knew the original by Michel Delpech which I find - let's be honest - kinda old, but this version clearly gives it a bit of a trim, haha!

It looks like you're reading my mind since I had already written and queued the post where I talk ramble about what happened during those two months when I got this ask but yeah, samesies here... Given everyone's reaction when Morgane comes back, I guess it's pretty clear that nobody visited her and that Céline probably gave the team a heads-up every now and then? Which... RUDE but whatever 😰

Also, now that I think about it, "I'm buying a house--nevermind I'm not" *disappears for two months* must've literally been how things looked like from Karadec's perspective, and while I'm still extremely salty that he didn't show more concern about the said disappearance, I find it also pretty hilarious. Ships where each protagonist thinks the other is a complete lunatic are my jam 😍

Also also, how did they fight crime during those two months? Did all the criminals in Lille collectively decide to not murder anyone while Morgane was mopping? 😂

I see your point re establishing Roxane's relationship with Karadec, although it kiiiiiinda felt a little bit forced to me (I'm not saying that out of sheer spite, she grew on me in later episodes, you'll see), in that certain way where it felt like Karadec completely switched personality in the span of two episodes? My uptight, work-compartimentalizer, psychorigid, germaphobe germanophile boi suddenly turned into a sappy potato who has heart-shaped sticky notes on his desk and plays laser game with his co-workers, speaking of -- I'm sorry but there's SO MUCH to unpack here:

Can we just all agree that nobody in that precinct seems to have friends outside of work?

I don't know if you noticed the inscription on that cheesy laser game/escape room/whatever mug, but Roxane and Karadec's ship name is Karaxane. Like… Even his fucking GIRLFRIEND won't use his first name 🤣🤣🤣 This show is cursed. CURSED!!

When Morgane glued back together the shredded nude selfie, she wisely covered the dude's dick with a sticky note, but she chose to do so with one of Roxane's red heart-shaped ones, which imo is the pettiest, most delightful revenge she's ever come up with 😍

I'm not sure I can see the fic possibilities here though, given the assumed lack of Morgane x Karadec interactions, because who wants to read about Roxane and Karadec doing whatever cheesy shit they have going on, although I do have plans to address the said lack of interactions in a future fic!!

a lot of the fakemon designs are way too samesy and the final evolutions are always the same big bipedal or snake like monster its just kind of disappointing. theyre cool designs for monsters but if youre trying to design a pokemon it just isnt it. exmaple aphreyd and scavady are like PERFECT pokemon designs and then it evolves into mantidra which...really fumbled the line. i really enjoy studying character design in different games and trying to copy it so idk i just wish they felt more like pokemon past their 2nd evolution. even garchomp doesnt look like that.

yeah I can agree. I've only been impressed with a handful of fakemon, and I used to really enjoy their special/combo canon 'mons but they've dropped the ball in recent ones by quite a lot

"can write amazing [xyz] narratives but only unintentionally" wrt ppl writing Textually Autistic characters like That vs writing autistic characters all the time based on unknowingly encountering autistic people all the time as like "insistently weird (&/or rude?) other people who annoy us but at least exist peripherally" w/all the problems of a dismissive, uninformed, unsympathetic stance, but Not the problems of a dismissive uninformed unsympathetic stance while supposedly committing to some serious & deliberate portrayal

that is to say my going "omg his autistic swag" re: winston which i am correct about & that ofc that [these are Othered characters] only enhances the verisimilitude & relatability like, yeah, i exist in the world lmao i've been the collectively excluded coworker, of all the characters at [situation] i am not the one who the story's about, the way you have to kind of fudge or in turn be dismissive of canon to invoke the idea that anyone cares about winston, like we've all seen it, that you need people to hold to principles abt how to treat Anyone Else that they do not hold to, that [people personally care about your experience b/c they personally like you] doesn't come through when being nd means being deemed impersonable & unlikable by most people most of the time, that ppl will be hostile b/c instead their interpersonal interactions are about excluding & punishing as an exercise of their elevated social power, & this is justified by "but they bring it upon themselves & should just Learn n Choose to Act Right anyways" organic aba attitude directed towards anyone who gets to be considered "abnormal," ppl being mean / derisive right in front of you b/c of assuming you Can't participate in interactions even to register the treatment but also b/c they just figure they Can, which is true, b/c the target doesn't have the social power here & everyone else is bound to unionize around the person who Does / personally likes them better or whatever. like literally so true king as winston gets bullied constantly / made an individual exception for mistreatment and nobody cares abt that or anything else, and also people will tend to only value you for some perceived niche usefulness to take advantage of

here comes a segue, also that i can go "well i know how i'm treated so like Samesies to all that, but even though in my heart i Am spontaneous & theatrical & enthusiastic & Talkative, i am usually not being that way externally so i guess not very same" like fucking godspeed to winston never letting up on just saying things, as a person, who should get to talk, even though everyone else hates it & punishes him for it. which is like, well it's b/c otherwise even if it's Realistic he'd stop interacting w/anyone around him or just leave, he wouldn't get material that way (although sometimes his material does just get to be [effective extra / background rando]) and also it's like, you can't [make the right personal choices] your way out of being affected by ableism & when you Don't talk that's also rude & weird & excluded & punished etc etc, like how winston can also get shit when he hasn't even said anything, And at the cost of [not getting to talk]. just about picking your poison, both options are shit and hurt the person who has to make the choice, maybe just potentially trying to guess which one will work slightly better in some situation, based on that situation, what you want out of it rn, what you've got to work with atm, masking being a shitty experience but also a sometimes needed on a practical basis strategy but also takes effort & energy someone may not have & still never fully works when most autistic ppl will have spent plenty of time trying to be "normal / correct" and yet ofc are not received that way & accepted as Worthy enough to treat like a "normal" person, and are still autistic. (shoutout to at least trying to have more Options, e.g. to persist to talk and just express my personality anyways as winston does is what woud be more difficult for me, so it's like hell yes lol. and i mean idk ideally How To Mask isn't even just like, the way it would be in [inadvertent autistic character] media where oh Finally the person realizes they're in the Wrong & should choose to be normal vs so rudely being themself, and other people will totally finally value them as a fellow person who deserves fundamental respect for that fact (syke). rather than autistic people discussing their own strategies As practical strategies to be Potentially consciously employed when necessary for xyz effect, which is still not guaranteed to succeed.)

which is just how like, a masking autistic person who doesn't say much wouldn't get to be a character, and sure thinking about struggling to relate to any Characters ever very directly since forever lol, like, as a kid being like "well i get good grades b/c i'm not like allowed to get a C & knocking out school shit conveniently comes pretty easily" but like the Good Grade Kid in anything being like "i love school sm & i wish i was studying rn" vs me like well i hate school more than not & do hw last minute & never study? and other Shrugging abt external traits that can continue to this day lmao where i'm only just now like, you'd be considered A Bad Character (in terms of being too Uninteresting too Not Plot Driving to be worth focus / non npcness) and ofc you're not really the peak externally anxious ones ever even if you suppose you'd more outwardly align thusly....but that i've also always recognized that [well this is how i'm treated / regarded] in having this tendency to prefer side / tertiary characters who may be funny little guys, peripheral jokes, generally framed as Less Serious than the mainer characters w/their less relatable or interesting goings on. and this being somewhat conscious as well lmao like that's right i'm being contrarian get the protagonists or the like ten year olds who are deemed serious/worthy enough that it's logical to bestowing some romantic subplot upon them (some things never changing lol, like oh sorry was winston having a crush supposed to be instantly universally understood as a joke just like [his sexuality] adjacent matters are more dragged out into the open so as to make that more of a joke as well i guess, the Billions punishment of who gets dignity(tm) and who can't help but have serious romantic subplots as perhaps required,even rendered Inevitable, by being serious, deserving characters. very curious about why there is a lack of info about ben kim's love life at all. is he hanging in perfect balance between "too secondary/tertiary funny little guy to devote time thusly. for like even a passing mention? do we count his fake marriage plot? his elevator take off your shirt maneuvers?" and "too Sympathetic to be mocked / to have the Indignity of others knowing abt [his sexuality] adjacent matters, as a joke at his expense as well" like. very mysterious. monocle thinking emoji Considering the matters re: tuk as well. that if winston is presumed to have had casual sex last season that wasn't just another joke at his expense somehow, it may be because he was proximate enough to tuk's Sympathetic / somewhat more Serious character treatment in that instance? however. would also consider tuk talking to wendy abt like "well i was dumped my gf thinks i'm weird and look at how much longer my texts are than hers" to be a bit of Indignity & Joke At His Expense. like no wonder he & winston may have apparently gone from getting off on the wrong foot to embracing each other offscreen to show back up later in the season as good pals. the nd people do find each other lol, and/or just being able to operate on principles like "trying" to "understand" "another person" ever, and the like, b/c being Normal(tm) isn't some objective reality, after all. but i can't presume they're even meant to be Genuine Friends for Sure when a) maybe winston's supposed to instead be presumed as somehow so aggressive despite being the guy continuously run over & suckerpunched by everyone around him over nothing and everything, like omg stop rudely telling tuk to just be himself without the organic aba of "here's how Winners act, axe cap style or otherwise," what an asshole to be Pressuring him to be Fine how he Is, and b) idk we haven't seen much abt it yet & so far it's winston seeming to be backing/hyping tuk up, which is fun, just doesn't make it [whoa, a character Does care abt anything re: winston] guaranteed from tuk or anything)

anyways back to how as a kid i'd be like "to hell w/the narrative prioritizing these ppl's stories & framing them as deservingly more serious, i'm inherently on the side of that funny little guy often cropping up to be deemed a bit weird & pushed aside / dismissed" like yeah Clearly i was recognizing the autistacity & etc of it all lmfao. a classic time in like fourth grade english / literature / reading whatever class where Everyone was reading the same assigned book & one in-class project was like, of the four middle school kids in this thing, pick your favorite & decorate a tee that's Them themed. and of the like circa twenty or thirty of us, me and one other guy picked the one out of the four characters who had the like seemingly lowest stakes devoted/pov chapters & whose other thing was being received / often enough dismissed for being overly Pedantic or details focused or whatever all lol like, and so what? we love fun facts (also the whole Interpretation of like, someone who shares a lot of trivia all the time? Must be presenting themself as an authority (b/c that's the only way we all operate when communicating, surely) and Must think they are a Know It All with nothing to learn (?????????) the only reason someone might, say, study up on some niche lore that nobody else would think matters, much less share it....of course....) anyways. revisited available excerpts more recently like well i was right, delightful passages and of Course that character resonated. i'd say like well nowadays i'll still oft relate to the funny little unserious side characters but i'll Know why i relate vs doing it on principle lol. like well yes i'm perhaps somewhat better at noticing Why i relate. though still get tripped up by the externality of it all sometimes like "well i guessss i'm technically more like outwardly anxious character a but i'm more engaged by & cheering for That lively menace over there" like, oh wait right, i don't Really relate as much to the former vs latter after all, it's just that i'd never manifest As Is as A Character b/c it doesn't serve story flow or whatever lmfao so gotta reverse engineer things through that lens / afford for plenty of flexibility lol....but Also i still do it on principle somewhat too lmfao like hell yes that's right, valuing the non prominent dismissed punished quanternary character who is limited to only being peripheral & somewhat diminished in worth even by the author/s themself b/c of being autistic? winston billions is just like me for real. just inadvertently recreating "how We All totally react to People who are just like That, yknow" like yeah i sure do know. trying for having it both ways re: the material not being wholly unsympathetic or Constantly unserious towards winston either, but also a) the themes of "what's deemed worthy qualities / behaviors, how are they judged to outwardly manifest in people / thus inferred by others to be present" can only be explored the ways the writers explore them, and if the writers are limited by "but i mean also, we're all just Normal & value Normalcy too, right, so [ppl who are Weird & Annoying like That] are abnormal Others, while to be someone going >:/ at them, writing them off, and/or either punishing them for how they Always Insist On Being or accepting/permitting others doing that: is to be Normal. and among Us" (i played a few rounds of among us again the other day finally. gamer mode restored. and Again just like winston fr) then the material is limited to that too. can't be surprised if "wellll. people are kind of needlessly mean to them i guess, and i guessss they're still a person after all, but they Are cringer & fail, i.e. Worse, than the rest of us, & it's just not a big deal if others are always awful to them, b/c that's just so Normal" when that's the common irl stance & this may simply be imitating life w/o that much deeper thought / exploration of another perspective....cue how [taylor can really only talk abt not being cishet when relating it to someone's cishet situational problem] could be explained like:

yeah taylor Does feel / recognize based on experience that they have to dilute their own experiences / translate them for these very [i'm so normal and correct and also cishet] people around them, like how just breathing the air can be discomfiting....but then there's also matters like "taylor having to be closeted as Not nonbinary (although did they really?) sure was handled By The Non-Other-Character Elements of the Material in ways that seem very. [normal correct cishet] perspective'd and are uncomfortable and lacking to readily disrespectful from an alternate perspective, perhaps, which differs from "also, characters being wrong / assholes about it" which may also be featured, though they may not be Meant as written to be as wrong as they are interpreted to be as nonbinary viewers. so like. Limits of [material] limited by the writers....that the general / assumed point of viewer perspective around here sure seems to be quite nt / cishet....that it's wildly plausible the entire writers room is allistic and/or accepts that "Normal" and Correct perspective on autistic ppl as "idk, those weird annoying losers who are just Like That so we all rightfully hate them, which means the manifestation of that in how we treat them is Right too" and that it's normal for some people to get to treat others however they want based on being better / more deserving, b/c like, everyone else is Choosing to be worse & deserving less power. analyzed in the show, even, but it's like how it's Normal to be like "i understand abuse = bad" but also Normal to not know how it operates or looks & think it's defined by a sufficient degree of Exceptionality & the unknowable intent/feelings of the parties involved & ultimate logical conclusions of victim blaming b/c Eye would never be abused & they have to get out of it Themselves instead of Accepting it like they do, something's wrong w/you if you're mistreated w/o Just Walking Away, so the [vice versa] applies as well, you're mistreated w/o just walking away if something's wrong w/you. and abuse can't be everywhere & acceptable & permeating, just like autistic people can't be everywhere, nor trans people, nor other Ostensibly Understood As Bad values like [some people are inferior] or [What golden rule] or [actually you do always know what other ppl are going through so if they're not like =( then do whatever, and if they Were hurt/struggling, it's their fault for hiding it?? also if they weren't hiding it they're being pathetic bitches anyways??? get over yourself????] like the old "damn we'll just call anything abuse nowadays and we're saying it way too much and victims really have too much power" attitude like, first of all what else is new, what else is(n't) a perspective exclusive to interpersonal abuse. there's way too many trans and autistic people nowadays yeah, i jumped aboard based on nothing but wanting that sweet social clout, and i do live like a king now thanks....really tying it all together like, tbt despite [oh ways of yore i was clearly having my queer / autistic experiences w/o Knowing it but i knew it was Something] also applying to [abusive home life] i didn't start to figure like "oh but is it Abuse(tm)" despite [yes.] when it's like, it's never really directly represented when it's a very special topic abt physical abuse of a child that's quickly obvious to others, or it's the weird like cartoon evil family while the protagonist is Unaffected & still normal(tm) enough, or it's "stuff that happens to children all the time that's deemed inappropriate to invoke around children," & only through a media experience when eighteen where there was Effectively textual enough abuse despite not using the word b/c it was also only portrayed obliquely around a teen who was first received as kind of weird but also not like the "so, Unsympathetic & unimportant" kind of weird, & in being the externally [quiet] way that i also tend to be, so it was like, huh.......that might have been......Relatable

and i'm now recklessly slinging around the word Abuse like we do in this day & age, like how that's what bullying is, even when bullying is supposed to be Not That Bad and Normal and Often Enough Deserved / Avoidable (so: deserved), just like abuse in general lol like it's really not abnormal even while ppl will be like well it's inherently this outlier point one percentile experience, right. like how trauma has to be abnormal and restrict itself to being an exception / outlier, right, ppl just throwing it around all the time for things that aren't that bad or a result of deliberate, evil intent and isn't the real problem when people who have the power to thoughtlessly hurt others might have to Exert Thought abt themselves? which means to power to not even have to think abt it has been at all upended and perhaps diminished?? which means something is Wrong. it's the abused people who are tyrannically avoiding interactions with me On My Terms b/c i've never had to think about, much less bother, how to actually consciously be safe to interact with. anyways that is to say i'm still like embarrassed to be like, f that it Is abuse to be bullied, to act like someone else is something that belongs to you and that you get to use to take something you want from them, so as to say that like, that Is what winston experiences lol. we Are out here like "does being autistic inherently come with experiences that align w/trauma, or is virtually every autistic person experiencing trauma b/c of how they're treated on various fronts like all thee time" and i guess rian's thing now is that she's surprised that power imbalances are for real and has expected them to Not Exist when it comes to wanting to be, and assuming to be, considered & treated as a peer by any higher ups, but despite her condemnation of ppl Using others, or having been bullied but even being beyond hating anyone about that or anything else, she immediately decides winston is of use to her as entertainment, and potentially the simple rewards of an affirmed power trip whenever she Can treat him however she wants, spontaneously & openly, and/or even via the more distilled/direct power affirmation of "i can try to hurt this person; now they're clearly hurt." the sort of damning fact she'll put effort into interacting with him More, and more Personally, b/c she decided she was interested in his interest (Despite his interest....) but the moment she's busy being superiorly normal & serious it's back to [hurting him] mode as he tries to interact with her on "we're peers, something of friends, and we've Been talking abt this stuff" mode, b/c even if there's any reciprocity / more genuine interactions ever, he's still at the mercy of what she wants, which has been [various manifestations of her using him for various purposes] and disdain for his efforts to appeal/connect or even to act like he can assume he is, and will be treated like, a peer. who could be so clueless. what kind of sicko would use people and be like "so long as i have the advantage such as that i Can use anyone, it's b/c i deserve to, for being better than them" (rian would, in a "normal" way). also that it's still [taylor handshake winston] territory despite taylor relating to & personally favoring rian & not intervening on her, or anyone else's treatment of winston....taylor also thinks they have to put up with all these besties questioning if they're human w/human feelings, and wendy truly in that Enabler role w/axe like, wow taylor after i narced on what you seemingly personally confided to me to axe so that he could still use you as his best golden child tool, you still left b/c of how axe mistreats & uses you & blames you for it & won't actually accept he's in the wrong on basic principle???? i'm wronged too here & i'm sooo pissed & i'm going to hurt you as much as i can =)

& then [everything wendy does re: tayor & axe in s5 and throwing them under the bus, "after i specifically asked you not to" from taylor, b/c all that matters re justifying such treatment (doing Whatever re: taylor so long as wendy doesn't really care abt taylor caring abt the consequences) is her idea of her relationship w/axe, which in actuality is ungodly btw] like. & then:

their real dad is shit & seems pretty safe to presume abusive when he barges in being transphobic & shitty abt it & has only showed up b/c he can Use them for his own ego ambitions & feels taylor is obligated to support him b/c they're his child (& taylor feels that obligation too) & this meager suggestion he cares at all about what's fundamentally important to taylor is enough to move them to tears & then he'll say he has no reason to be in taylor's life if they're not devoting everything into giving him what he wants. but their stand-in shit parent who is axe, who Does win by being Here & (more) consistently being "don't be transphobic to taylor. usually. ish" & actually knowing/getting things about them vs douglas not having a clue or even more limited by [clearly only interpreting things in ways that are convenient to him. like the convo about math where he pretends his not emotionally supporting his child & only being reachable on his terms through his (work) interests was him doing what was for / worked the best] but, like taylor says, does still only ultimately view and treat them like a tool he owns and can Use however. and wendy's been another tool of his who gets this supposed special status b/c she keeps the operation running w/axe reined in just enough sometimes to not lose access to things, like to employees, who wendy will try to appease so they don't don't Betray & Wrong axe (and her, apparently) by reacting to how they're treated and to the fact they have no recourse via appealing for better by just leaving, or maybe arrogantly wanting a raise or something. which like, Is a logical extension of [offer Therapy that keeps employees from quitting / underperforming / do HR that keeps employees from quitting + suing the company / do "mediation" that blames the aggrieved party & requires they compromise, i.e. cede things to whoever is wronging them] b/c again like, abuse and its logic/principles Is very "normal," workers are exploited, only do as much damage control re: whatever supposed Mistreatment is required to keep people in line and things running along. being abused by family is like, oh yeah more of the same then just existing anywhere autistically in interpersonal interactions where i'm still not a person & punished for nothing except whatever narrative/interpretations are put on me & the impulsive feelings of everyone w/more social power, or more of the same re: [capitalism] and anything else wrt Some People Are Better / More Of People Than Others. and/or that on top of that you Do run into ppl who, unknowingly, w/o textual labels, are abusive & recognize someone's tendency through experience to endure mistreatment / their vulnerability such that nobody else will recognize it as mistreatment or at least won't intervene out of respect for your superior social status/power rather than, like, respect for the fact you're both people & that, on principle, there shouldn't be this unilateral "well but That person deserves to be treated this way for being inherently inferiorly Less Goodnormal" put into practice. i've sure had abusive friends, or acquaintances, or coworkers, or [complete strangers]. winston has an abusive friend. taylor at least has had that re: wendy, even if wendy's been unmoored from who she was enabling there the whole damn time and so went all season Not trying to wrangle taylor into staying in a vulnerably usable position for that person, putting them in that position herself, and undermining or punishing them preemptively and/or after they've Acted Out Of Line, and of course, dismissing any criticisms, unless mafee unasked calls her an asshole half for the ways she's used him too and then she's like "i'm so ethical, i told the truth about my revenge hipaa violations, that's all that matters??? who will bribe the ethics board out of rescinding my license?? omg axe our relationship is so amazing. we can even do one housework" like, eugh.

anyways taylor handshake winston. fighting the discomfort and guilt of talking about Abuse as Abuse b/c oh but it's not that bad. taylor thinking they bring it upon themself and/or should have to be able to handle/weather it themself and accept all responsibility for what other people can & have done to them, very [i've Been having to endure abuse] approaches lol, perhaps limited themself such as that they can't intervene even in how an employees treated by another b/c well, the same perspectives apply. (although bit of a sidenote in another anticipated Usual / Common Enough Media Perspective / limit in the perspective of whoever's writing it, in that you know. despite [oh you bring it upon yourself], it's Also like, well, people threatening the existing structures w/power over their lives is Also wrong & evil, though. like that abused people become evil and Want Revenge and maybe hate someone who didn't treat them as a person & had the power to do so, fucked up of them. vs it's also fucked up if nobody helped them but they just Took It and didn't have the Self Respect to be bothered enough to Feel Mistreated, surely. it's only okay if they felt bad but weren't angry and someone saves them but it's not necessarily too much effort / they never perceive that the person they're saving hasn't done what they should to facilitate the efficiency of their own being saved....conveniently, the version of things where nobody's relative power has to change or be threatened. anyways, what i'm getting around to is how unsurprising a stance it would be if it's like, "oh sure i guess maybe rian's a little mean but a) winston started it by deserving it And it's not a big deal and b) if winston "gets back" at her by idk, being angry, disliking her, much less doing anything petty, that will be The Real problem like oh rian was just innocently doing normal things but winston, inferior and abnormal and undeserving as he is, is thus the one truly Out Of Line. axe being terrible to taylor, but the Real issue is taylor Betraying him by recognizing that and breaking away and, gasp, perhaps negatively affecting axe & his company in the process. axe was just doing his thing! cmon! and he's so epic! vs taylor being weird and so maliciously consciously strategizing to their own benefit and only their own benefit, b/c axe is the one who's positioned His benefit as taylor's cost, my god, how could taylor have refused compromise that is axe's advantage and accepted the incompatibility of mutual benefit / absence of reciprocity and so Not factored in what axe would want, as if that's their eternal responsibility No Matter What? handshake.) anyways and also how there could be that matter of projection like, i know ppl Could see me as weird & off in an undeserving cringe unworthy way, like they do winston, so i have to see myself as entirely different from winston, and if i argue on his behalf then might undermine my "proving" i'm deserving/worthy through various avenues of perceived/measured success. if you have the status to be able to Other someone, you have the status to not deserve what they do (negative), or simply be made Vulnerable by having to question whether anything you do could be hypothetically deemed cringe or wrong or undignified or inadequate, etc etc....again forgetting where i encountered someone positing like Cringe Comedy as Painful as being too potentially relatable, like, the "secondhand embarrassment" like recognizing how the experience could be Yours & that would suck, yet this is inherent sympathy w/the cringe person lmao. and me thinking about like boo to comedy (and horror, other side of the coin) with the Normal important characters who are Above It All, vs all the zany side character Others who just won't be normal enough to stop deserving being the butt of jokes (or horror where well idk those people can die. not our epic survivor protags though). like excuse me comedy (or horror) is a perspective of knowing Things Happen To You, You Yourself, and the absurdity / dissonance in things not happening as they "should,"

i.e. you can't & don't just [well simply make all the correct choices? be generally deserving?] your way into things working out for you. that you know you aren't the one perfectly sympathetic and always righteous person in the world, and can laugh at yourself and be laughed at (with comedy as This perspective, not as yet another compounding of usual power imbalances b/w people that transforms / explores nothing, b/c it's just going "haha those other lesser ppl are so dumb & have it coming. anyways." not ppl laughing at you as the butt of the joke b/c things are only funny when taking a hit doled out by life is a logical, deserved punishment). why have the Normal characters who can helpfully recognize "well that's comedic b/c wadda hell" and be too sympathetic to be so weird & inferior as to be laughed at. seeing myself more in the funny little unserious weird side characters as a queer nd abused kid, and even now like, that the best [well that Is relatable] material tends to not put such relevant experiences as Directly, Textually under focus, but there's resonance & perhaps fleeting / one or two degrees removed gestures to / glimpse of such experiences, and what interacting w/that person as someone Removed from that situation is like, including that the audience does not get to be privy to it directly either. and that it can be like, insert vine audio they ask you how you are & you just have to say that you're fine but you're not fine (insert autistic masking cheat code about the How Are You ritual. if you clip through the wall you can skip the interaction w/o penalty) like, people will act Normal And Fine b/c they're supposed to! probably all the more insistently if they know they're on thin ice w/that! but actually you can just Tell when ppl have Real(tm) Problems worthy of real sympathy, you Do always know what someone's going through, you Can't have always been unknowingly encountering trans ppl all the time all your life, you Would know if someone you talked to for 5 seconds ever was autistic. i'm relating to the unfathomable "wow why's this person Just Being Difficult i guess, instead of simply only ever acting how i'm happy with? a pain. shruggg" i'm relating to the undignified elevated chaotic life'd characters b/c like hell yeah when you're not having experiences deservingly goodnormal enough to be a generally relatable less weird character than that. occasionally i'm relating to the people who are oddly cagey but still focused on until someone figures out they're going tf through it even when they didn't just infer that as why they might be oddly cagey in the first place, which doesn't come up that much really, b/c also it's easier when ppl are just more open about what's going on b/c they aren't That isolated or Abnormal and won't just be deemed like whoa the weirdo overshares ig, just another way they're a freak, b/c it's only sympathetic & serious if someone already judged worthy was talking about it, as is allowed, b/c what they say is Worthy too. i'm really surely most aligned w/this side character assessed as timid & bland & surely never talking b/c they have nothing going on to even express, who nevertheless actually is vivacious & elevated & boldly independent, it just doesn't tend to Manifest Externally as presumed it would, while their external traits are wrongly interpreted to infer [things about them that are completely untrue] and which are considered somewhat contemptible. like hell yeah i'm the contempted Weirdly quiet / withdrawn person which people Do apparently presume must be because you have nothing thought or felt that could motivate you to express it, and then i manifest [my actual personality / Being Myself more unhindered; even though ways you act in reaction to significant/extensive experiences Are part of your actual personality & being yourself as well. cue the active effort sometimes in ppl figuring out how they act when they Don't mask] and that is in turn generally deemed Too Much but at least i have fun. shoutout to winston still just like, being present and talking. go off

that is to say, winston and taylor should try kissing about it, and i should try wrapping this up lol. have to acknowledge as well like, acting je ne sais quoi / Interpretation as once again crucial to this character (winston) existing at all. actor will roland being aware nd people exist and needn't be interpreted as Always Others / too [inaccuracy abt autistic ppl] to [be this character], see: bmc & the applicability re: jeremy, the similarities re: jeremy & winston & "it's organic aba" and [that applies all over the place when it's like, well other people just need to learn & choose to be better, and if some of them can't, oh well, not my fault, no big deal, nothing to be done: which all justifies Whatever's Already Happening that absolutely doesn't need to change um it's everyone else who needs to change]....that also, despite the [clapping and cheering whenever one can note/observe some Acting Choice for winston that probably nobody told him to put in, in addition to that general permeating Performance (insert michael greif talking abt will's skillset can land a whole lot of things while creating a completely realistic believable sophisticated complicated character and he can refine define and illuminate a point)], it's still like, not just some Extra bonus thing added in the background to at least bother to show winston's reactions when any & everyone around him shits on him, b/c you do At Least have to like, devote a seperate Shot to that, and then edit it in, or they Do when it isn't in fact just happening out of focus off to the side as the scene continues w/o any attention called to it. not that this isn't again perhaps just in those bounds of Having It Both Ways like "welllllll yeah sucks for him & ppl are being mean. but also in normal ways & it's nbd Really" like, not like we've ever seen winston's constant torment resulting in consequences anyone else has to deal with. really my grandest [idk. it's feasible] is there's just this gradual shift no attention is drawn to where winston seeks out / prefers talking w/tuk, and/or stops trying to actively appeal to / expect anything good from interactions w/rian lol, could go completely downhill at any moment. but ofc, s/o to how it could be Having It Both Ways like, winston and tuk, funny little guys, are friends, buuut also it Is cringe for either of them to not be getting organic aba from any exchange, & since ppl are rooting for tuk to become a winner, it's uh aggressive and wrong of winston to deprive tuk of that or even contradict it, like, god knows you don't tell someone they Are good enough / deserving now, you tell them they absolutely are not and if they don't wise up and look smart and act right they never will be

what could we end on but thinking about how winston is here for Taylor despite having experienced manifold disappointments from the start. and how he does want to kiss them so bad even if it's as [as yet not allowed] as anyone having a conversation that matters w/winston. and taylor comfortably giving winston that pat on the back. and winston and taylor's [one on one nonverbal cues / exchanges that are always successful in covertly being one on one And successful in being understood]. thinking about Winston Billions (autistic Character) and winston & taylor parallels & similarities and taylor being like "well, this is simply my funny little guy" and my being like right on and [same] to him so much it was like this surprise meta immersive/interactive experience watching those first season three clips that existed when we discovered it and The Dynamic / Acting / Characters. mafee being like "wow taylor why are you acting this way. so cold" in season four while winston, who we never saw obtaining info abt the arc at all, is like "um. b/c of they way they're feeling, duh" which is also like thrown into yet sharper relief when s6 has mafee crashing around like "wow taylor nofeelings mason huh. so cold" like get it together. unsurprising if you unknowingly write an autistic character and are like "idk, we just can't fully treat this person the same way others are....just Has to be a bit worse....and we don't have to question it much or at all maybe, i mean who even would think anything's off / wrong here" like yep just recreating ppl's interpretation of irl ppl they didn't Know were autistic either lol. ofc i'd be the butt of jokes tertiary unimportant rando largely off to the side & dismissed when it's time for anything that matters / is cared about after sharing some zany detail about my cringe life or feelings or personality or whatever, all If i go full tilt spontaneous / less filtered even, instead of silently being an extra who is written off to show the stakes for other characters or something lmao. shoutout to that tmc extra who looked over at winston in the season four finale like =) and shoutout to that also involving taylor looking over at winston like =) after he calls them baby. kiss about it why don't you

anyways the inevitable tl;dr, tayston. read it again [everything else i said]. winston billions autistic character

Hi its that one anon again, for the Multigender asks, I humbly request uh

4,5,6, 7,8, 19, 24, 28, 29

...is that too many numbers.?

hello nonny you are a-okay i just wanted to respond on my laptop b/c im gonna do a lot of writing now cracks every bone in my trash body lets do it

4) When did you first hear about being multigender?

my memory is very not great and i honestly do not recall any specifics, but id ballpark 2014ish was around the time i was realizing "oh i dont have to slide b/t genders, its okay to be more than one at once"

5) Are there any terms under the multigender umbrella that you identify with? (like bigender, trigender, genderfluid, omnigender, multiflux)

i genuinely like pangender and omnigender very much. again, greedy.

6) Do you identify with any umbrella terms that can encompass being multigender, like "trans" or "nonbinary"?

yes! i personally consider nonbinary to be trans, and i am both. i call myself a nonbinary trans man (which is true) when i want to give ppl a not complicated answer.

7) Are your genders more fluid or more static?

i suppose it'd be accurate to say my genders are static in that they dont really shift from one to another but i also do not like the description of "static", it makes me think of stagnancy, and my gender is not stagnant- it gets added to and expanded rather often, its edges extend and recede like a tide

its like. pointillism. i am a painting and every dot is a part of the image

8) Are your genders more separate or blended together?

waggles my hand both kinda, hard to explain, again its the "pointillism" thing

19) When in a situation forcing you into one gender, what do you do?

so i did answer this one before but ill rehash in a briefer way

on non queer spaces i just deal with it and feel bad but theres no point in pushing it b/c i find most people just dont get it or dont really try to and im Very Tired

in queer spaces people forcing me to be just one of my genders is genuinely heart wrenching and makes me feel deeply unwanted, because they only want this specific part of me and not just. me.

24) Do you do (or have you ever done) anything to express pride, privately or publicly, in your multigender identity?

not really, no. its not that i do not want to. i just have trust problems around people and i struggle to have faith that people will not be shit. and privately, i just dont feel a need to justify it to myself, yaknow? i casually incorporate my identity and queerness into all i touch and create, and i think that counts as pride.

28) Are you open/out about being multigender?

anyone who knows me even a little knows im a gender clusterfuck, and i have long since stopped bothering to pretend im any flavour of cis. if people get weird about it its my intent to challenge them then and there. if you wish to be transphobic you must look me in the eyes and know that i am a person and say it and see how brave you are then.

29) Are you open about some parts of your gender identity, but not others?

the more abstract parts of my gender i tend to really just talk about with other trans ppl but mostly just b/c it can be hard to explain to cis ppl "yeah one of my genders is like, a shark, but longer" whereas if i say the same thing in a trans heavy server ppl are like "oh god samesies"

@fstbmp​ inquired: i'm late since i didn't see this but ofc ♚ you're genuinely one of the Key Things keeping me around on Tumblr because your writing is extraordinary. Along with the fact I feel as if your blog should come with a world supplementary book that's theoretically bigger than the main work. Which is always a plus imho. If you like my writing - Accepting

(( MIRTH!!! Samesies goes right back to you — you’re very much one of the few people still keeping me on Tumblr and keeping me updating this blog! And, yeah, fair, I guess the least charitable interpretation of that is the fact that you’re one of the few other MonProm blogs hanging around. But just that alone wouldn’t be enough to make me say that, and honestly, anyways I meant it more in the sense that you always put so much effort and thought into your replies that I just always look forward to them and love reading over everything that you write. Hell, I have several things that you’ve written saved to my phone that I reread over when I’m about to go to bed or am just bored and want reading material. It’s good stuff!!!!