I know this request is soo Y/n-ish but if ever you can read this, please make a fic including Momo and Sana where they are fighting over y/n which is me but I prefer Momo more huehuehueheu thank yah love lotss!!
if i die young
synopsis: you're saved by someone at work that you haven't met before and you quickly become close. your roommate isn't too fond of this though.
warnings: mostly fluff but gets vvv angsty towards the end, mentions of death, implied sex, cursing, cheating but not really if you think about it, heavy grief themes, trying so hard to not giveaway the story in the warnings
w/c: 8.4k
a/n: GIGGLE im pretty sure this is not what anon had in mind but i struggled soooo much w this prompt bcs I CANT DO THAT TO MY BABY SANA but i got this wonderful idea while in the shower to punish anon for sending me this prompt that i agonised over for a literal month that does technically fulfil the requirements 😋 enjoy the read mwahaha (and sorry for any plot holes that may come up- come yell at me in asks i have sm love for this fic and id love to yap abt it if anyone notices anything silly)
♰˚☽˚。⋆
"y/n right?"
you look up, smiling at the woman who's hovering over your desk at work, nodding in acknowledgement.
"i think the boss was asking for you."
you widen your eyes in embarrassment, scrambling up and grabbing the relevant files, "oh shit i'm so sorry i totally forgot! i'll be there in just a second!"
the woman giggles, "it's okay. i told her my dogs ate all of your work."
you pause, looking at her in horror, "i-i- you what?"
"trust me. she's met my dogs. she'll believe it. your meeting with her has been postponed to next week. i'm momo by the way." she smiles, holding out a hand expectantly.
you're still a little in shock, but you take it, noting the way her hands are soft against yours, she must moisturise. "o-oh. t-thanks i guess..."
momo grins, "see you around y/n."
and then she's off, aloof to her surroundings, you think it's kind of adorable.
you sit back at your desk, still a little flabbergasted at your interaction with the strange girl from work.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
"sana! i'm home!" you kick off your shoes, placing them in their allocated slot on your shoe rack.
"kitchen!"
you frown, immediately worried when you hear that word. sana's notorious for her clumsy nature. when you first moved in together, it was essentially an unspoken rule that she was not allowed in the kitchen without supervision.
you quickly take off your coat, rushing into the kitchen.
nothing seemed to be off when you walked in, nothing burning, no alarms ringing, no funky smells that attacked your olfactory senses, you can only hope for the best.
"y/n!" sana's bright smile gives you immediate relief. you narrow your eyes, carefully stepping around the kitchen, looking for any signs of anything wrong.
"what are you doing?"
"making sure that everything is supposed to be where it's supposed to be and nothing is broken."
"why would anything be broken?"
once you're finished with your inspection, you turn to sana, zeroing in on her and grabbing her face with your hands, squeezing her cheeks together.
it's kind of adorable when she frowns, pouting and starting to protest, but you shush her, patting her down and inspecting her face to make sure she hasn't done anything to herself or hurt herself in any way.
"okay it seems like we're safe." you let her go but she immediately latches onto you, bringing you into a hug with an airy giggle.
"i'll forgive you for thinking i burnt down our kitchen."
you roll your eyes but return her hug, only breaking away when the doorbell rings.
"i'll get it. go clean up." sana smiles sweetly, patting your butt as she moves around you towards the door.
you roll your eyes, heading into your shared bedroom, taking off your work clothes and changing into a more comfortable set of sweats and an oversized t-shirt.
when you walk back out, you see sana's set up the dining table with takeaway.
"what's this?" you smile teasingly when you sit down.
"i wanted to cook but then i thought about the last time i wanted to cook and i decided to get takeaway for us instead." she grins, "see i'm responsible! can't believe you thought i'd try anything again after last time."
"i scraped some cheese off the ceiling the other day."
"aaaand now there's no more cheese on the ceiling! problem solved!"
you both laugh, and you help her set the table, opening the takeaway boxes and beaming at the smell of tteokbokki.
once you're both settled in across from each other, content with filling your mouths with fluffy rice cakes and spicy sauce, you talk through your days.
"there was this person i've never met before at work today."
"oh?"
"yeah she was a little strange, but she was really sweet. i had forgotten that i had a meeting with the boss today and she made up some excuse about how her dogs had messed with my work and apparently the boss believed it so now i don't have to get my deadline stuff done until next week."
"that's cute. did you get her name?"
"momo i think. sounds japanese, think you know her?"
"what because all japanese people in seoul know each other?"
"i didn't mean it like thattttt!"
sana giggles, "i know i know i'm just teasing. but no i don't know her. thinking about replacing me already y/n?"
you roll your eyes, picking out a fishcake with your chopsticks and popping it in your mouth, "just waiting for the lease to end so i can finally get rid of you actually."
sana feigns offense, "good luck finding someone else who wants to sleep next to your blanket stealing ass then."
"oh you didn't know? now that i'm working a real job i can actually afford to not have to share bedrooms anymore."
"why haven't you done it yet then?"
you blush, stabbing another rice cake.
sana laughs, bright and loud, "you looooooove sleeping with me admit it."
"absolutely not."
"you doooooo you do."
"eat your food sana."
sana's laughing and you can't help but smile. her laugh was always infectious, it was the surefire way to make your day better when you were feeling a little down in the dumps, she was the epitome happiness.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
it's a few days later when you bump into momo again.
normally you make your own food to bring for lunch but today, sana had woken up sick so you had spent the morning making sure she was okay and calling in sick for her at work.
so now you were stood in line at the cafeteria, wondering just what was taking the line so long to move, your break would probably be over by the time you got to the front of the line at the pace it was going.
"i'm sorry ma'am for the last time you can't pay for your food with vouchers to baskin & robbins! if you don't move along i'll have to call security so please-"
"no you don't understand! i was told that i could use these anywhere when i won them!"
you try peeking over the shoulders of annoyed corporate soldiers and you're surprised when you catch a familiar head of raven black hair at the front of the line.
you quickly push forward, excusing yourself as people look at you in irritation.
"momo!" you call out, shoving aside a 6 foot man with blue eyes that probably worked in the finance sector.
momo turns to you, looking a little frazzled with various coupons in her hands.
"hey! what's up?" you're a little breathless from pushing in line.
she pouts, turning back to the cashier who looks like he's about to start balding from stress. "apparently i can't use these vouchers that i won at drag bingo last week."
you grab the coupons and inspect the terms and conditions. "momo these are only allowed to be used at baskin & robbins."
"but they said i could use them anywhere!"
"at any branch sweetie. not literally anywhere."
"oh... i didn't bring my wallet." she frowns, pocketing her coupons again.
"it's okay i got it." you quickly pay the cashier who looks relieved to finally get the line moving again. you pick up her tray and gesture for her to follow you to an empty table.
"you didn't have to do that y/n!"
you shrug, sitting down and sliding her tray over to her. "it's no biggie. you kinda rescued me earlier in the week anyway. i hadn't actually finished all the work i needed to get done before showing the boss. i woulda come up with some shit excuse for not finishing it so you saved my ass."
"oh don't worry about that. mina and i have been good friends since our days in dance school together, she may be a scary boss but she's a real nerd outside of the workplace."
"oh? i didn't know boss myoi could dance!"
momo happily opens her sandwich, taking a bite and speaking with her mouth full, "you can actually find her on youtube. she was a pretty famous ballerina back in the day. woulda made it big if her parents didn't drag her back to run this company."
"and you?"
"what about me?"
"you dance?"
momo laughs, "yeah. i spend most of my spare time in the studio. unfortunately it doesn't really pay well. i was going to be evicted until mina was sweet enough to offer me a job here so i can afford my rent and continue doing what i love so i owe her a lot. oh speaking of- you weren't able to get any food! here-" she slides over her salad and soup.
"oh no no it's okay-"
"please just take it. it's not much anyway, i'll still have to come up with something to pay you back."
"you know what? those baskin & robbins vouchers. do you have anyone to go with?"
momo looks up at you from her sandwich in surprise, "no i don't."
"you free after work today?"
"i was just going to head into the studio but i could free that up."
"great. i'll see you in the lobby at 5 then. we can head to that store in gangnam, the one where you can taste test like all the flavours."
"really?!" momo's eyes brigten, "i've always wanted to do that but no-one's ever wanted to go with me."
"well perfect! sounds like a plan then!"
you grin at her excitement. you were always a little more than awkward, sana was the one who found it easy to go up to anyone on the street and befriend them. it was a little harder for you to make friends, you were lucky when sana found you interesting enough in your first year of college to strike up a conversation, and then find you interesting enough to keep coming back until you were inseparable and moved in together to save money on rent. you haven't really needed anyone else aside from sana since then, but momo was different, you felt an instant connection with her that you haven't felt since sana. she intrigued you, and you wanted to get to know her better.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
you're laughing at momo's face when she cringes in disgust.
"eugh what is that? that was disgusting!"
"i think it was like pikachu something something." you manage out between laughs.
"eugh pikachu guts and blood for sure. i never thought pikachu would taste like banana and vomit."
"i can't believe you just ate pikachu! he's such a little cutie surely he can't taste bad!"
"oh yeah? you try it-" she's spooning a bit of the vile yellow coloured ice cream and shoving it into your mouth while you're still vulnerable from laughing.
the first hit of banana on your tastebuds has you coughing immediately. and now it's momo's turn to laugh at you, it's a bright, almost wheeze-like sound, you think it's cute.
"okay yeah- we need to ban the killing of pikachu- this shit should not be served-"
"i'm glad you're on the save pikachu agenda as well then. but there's no way we are finishing that one."
"we don't have to. these were technically free anyway because of your amazing bingo skills after all."
she giggles, "okay but i'm still going to see if we can get replacement flavours. i wanted to try that gone with the wind flavour as well anyway."
you wish her luck as she slides out of the booth, bringing your tray of tester ice-creams with her towards the counter and waving down an employee.
you turn on your phone, scrolling to your messages to find sana's sent you a few unread texts.
bestest friend in the world🐿️💜: u coming home tn?
bestest friend in the world🐿️💜: don't ignore me y/nnnnn
bestest friend in the world🐿️💜: am i eating dinner on my own? 😞
bestest friend in the world🐿️💜: u better be safe idiot if ur not home by 10 i'm calling the police and filing a missing persons report
you laugh a little at her messages.
y/n: don't call the police! i'm fine! i'm just out with that coworker i told u about a few days ago. the one who saved my ass w my boss. i'll be home afterwards don't wait up!
momo's coming back before you can see sana's reply. you slide your phone back into your pocket, grinning at her, "what abomination have you brought back for us to try this time?"
momo places the new tray down, "i kinda forgot most of the names but at least the colour palette this time looks a little more edible."
"really? this neon green looks edible to you?"
"hey! a lotta green flavoured foods are edible! most vegetables, apples, green tea, mint... besides there's no way anything here will be worse than pikachu guts and blood."
you scrunch your nose a little when she slides in next to you, "i wouldn't want to try a vegetable flavoured ice cream anyway."
"you're just a hater." she's grinning when she spoons out a bright pink ice cream and pops it in her mouth.
you scoff, "am not!"
"suuuuuure. i actually know this place that does this incredible carrot ice cream. you can prove you're not a hater if you come and try it with me next week. there's a new branch opening on friday."
"alright. it's so on."
you spend the rest of the night laughing and poking fun at each other. you got along really well with momo, it felt so easy to connect with her. your levels of awkwardness rubbed off on each other perfectly. you enjoyed hanging out with her, and you're glad work seemed a lot less lonelier now.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
it ends up being really late by the time you get home. momo and you had decided to go for a round of karaoke after ice-cream and the mix of soju and trying to scream to reach the high note in twice's i can't stop me meant you had lost track of time. it was okay though because it was the weekend tomorrow so neither of you had work.
you slip off your shoes in the dark, careful not to make too much sound that could wake sana.
you're tiptoeing into the living room when the lamp light suddenly turns on, and sana's sitting on the couch with her arms crossed.
"you're alive."
you giggle a little at sana looking alike to an evil villain waiting for you to come home. she was much too happy-go-lucky to pull it off.
"what's funny?"
"noooothing."
she frowns, "are you drunk?"
"maaaayyybee."
sana stands up, walking past you and into the kitchen, you follow her like a lost puppy.
"drink this." she pushes a glass of water into your hand, watching you expectantly until you get the message and bring the cup to your lips.
"all of it."
you groan, gulping down the water, and cringing at the fullness you feel in your stomach from all the liquids sloshing around.
sana sighs, rubbing her forehead. "i was worried when you didn't return my texts y'know."
you frown now, realising sana was actually a little annoyed. "i'm sorry. i should've texted you i'd be home late."
she softens, always so forgiving, "it's okay. did you have fun?"
you grin dumbly, nodding, "momo's soooo funny."
"momo?"
"the coworker i was telling you about! she tried to-" you hiccup, "she tried to pay in the cafeteria today with baskin & robbin vouchers and held up pretty much the entire building. i paid instead and we went out and used the vouchers after work, theeeeeen we did karaoke!" you giggle, remembering the day you've had.
"oh..." she's frowning and you can't understand why so you poke her forehead, trying to undo the frown on her face.
"why are you sad?"
"i'm not."
"you're something."
sana rolls her eyes, grabbing your hands to stop playing with her face and leading you towards the bathroom. you're easily distracted, humming a silly tune that's come to mind while she sits you down on the toilet and starts wiping your makeup for the day off. it's a little more complicated when she tries to take your contacts out because you can't stop giggling and blinking but she manages in the end, making you rinse some mouthwash instead of brushing your teeth because she could tell you were falling into the sleepy stage of being drunk.
she's pulling you up and leading you towards your shared bedroom now, putting you to bed and then sliding in next to you, reaching to cover the blanket over the both of you.
you yawn, turning to face her and knock your foreheads together gently, but when you feel the wrinkles still there you open your eyes. "why are you still frowning?"
you can feel her immediately try and relax, "'m not."
"you were."
"ugh just go to sleep y/n. it's late and i'm tired." she's turning around and shuffling away from you which is weird because she was always the one who cuddled and latched onto you before bed.
you miss her warmth immediately, inching towards her and draping an arm over her midriff, entangling your legs and pushing your nose into her hair. "'m sorry."
she sighs against you, grabbing your hands and playing around with your fingers. "it's okay. just don't forget about me yeah?"
"how could i forget about you?"
"goodnight y/n."
you want to ask her more, but you can feel your eyes growing heavier, letting them drift shut, dreaming of ice-cream and cuddles.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
it became a regular thing.
momo and you would hang out after work every friday, she was quickly becoming one of your closest friends.
one night, when you're spread out on a picnic blanket on a hill a little bit away from the city, counting the stars, she asks you, "are you seeing anyone y/n?"
you look at her surprised, "no. why?"
"why aren't you seeing anyone? surely it's not because no one's asked you out before. you're gorgeous and fun to be around. is it because no one's been good enough?"
you blush a little at the compliments, turning to lay back down and stare at the sky, "i think i just haven't been ready for a long time."
"ready?"
"for a relationship. i told you about my best friend sana right?"
momo hums, coming up on her elbow to peer down at you while you try and make out the various constellations in the night.
"once i found her, it kinda felt like everything was okay, like i never really needed anything more. i know a lot of people centre their lives around romantic love and finding their soulmate and whatever, but i've never been like that. with sana, everything was enough. i felt like if i wished for anything more it might disrupt that."
"is sana seeing anyone?"
you chuckle a little, thinking to sana's past romantic escapades, "she's tried but nothing's really worked out. i think we feel the same in that way. that as long as we have each other we don't really need anyone else."
there's a contemplative silence for a bit while momo studies your face. you let her, comfortable enough with her that it doesn't feel awkward even when it is silent. you connect the stars in your head, smiling when you realise you've made out the capricornus constellation.
"what about me?"
the words are spoken softly into the night, you almost don't catch it, but fate would have it blown softly your way, tickling your ears with the question. "what do you mean?"
"you say you and sana don't need anyone else. how do you feel about me?"
you sit up a little then, leaning back on your elbows as you avert your gaze from the arrowhead-like collection of stars to eyes that shine just as bright. "you're different. you're the first person to come into my life since sana that i've felt... like we were meant to meet y'know? all that soulmate stuff and whatever may be cringey but it's nice to believe in. sometimes i think there are just people that i'm meant to meet, and people that i'm not. and fate brought me you."
momo's leaning forward, her eyes drifting down to your lips, her next few words come out in a whisper, "so if i did this..." her eyes flicker back up to yours, letting you pull away if you wanted to, but you find yourself fixed on her lips as well. so when she closes the distance between the two of you, pressing her lips against yours, just barely there, you sigh into her. the smallest brush of your lips together has you feeling light-headed and hazy, she breaks away from you all too quickly, eyes filled with wonder. you can see the reflection of the night sky in her eyes.
you smile softly at her, lips still tingly from the brief kiss.
"if i did that... would that feel like i've disturbed the equilibrium you've found with sana?"
you shake your head gently, "no. it feels just right actually."
when you lean in again, it does feel just right, like the stars have aligned for this one moment. like everything that's happened to you in life has lead you to this.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
someone else didn't feel that way.
she's sitting on the couch, up late again. it was becoming more and more often that she would find herself waiting up for y/n to come home.
she hears the telltale sign of the door unlocking and you stumbling in blindly, trying to adjust to the darkness of your apartment and slipping your shoes off to place carefully on the shoe rack next to sana's.
you're kind of expecting sana to be standing there waiting for you when you come back.
"hey sana. i'm home."
"late."
"yeah i was out with-"
"momo."
"yeah..." you rub your neck shyly, heading towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. she follows you wordlessly.
"is something going on between you and momo y/n?"
you raise an eyebrow, swallowing the water in your mouth before answering, "would it be a problem if there was?"
sana frowns, "no but... i just thought you'd tell me is all."
"i do tell you everything sana. every time i come home late i tell you what we've done. it feels like you don't really want to hear it most of the time though."
she pouts, "i do! i do want to know what's going on. i'm sorry i just... i told you i just don't want you to forget about me."
"and i won't sana. i could never forget you, i don't know why you worry about that." you step up to her, cupping a cheek and tilting it up so she's looking at you.
her eyes are slightly shiny and you suddenly feel terrible for making her wait up for you all these nights, "i just- ever since you started hanging out with her, i feel like you've had less time to spend with me. and i know! i knew eventually you'd find someone to spend the rest of your life with i just- i just didn't know it'd be like this and i wasn't prepared and i don't want to lose you yet-"
"woah! woah woah woah slow down! sweetie what? how long- how come you've never told me this before? i've always felt that- and i told momo this- but i've always felt that i never needed anyone else but you! i always thought that we were the ones that were going to spend the rest of our lives together, you're the only one i want to spend the rest of my life with. you'll never lose me sana i promise and momo- look just because i don't need anyone else in my life aside from you, doesn't mean it's that terrible if there is someone else that makes me happy right?"
"but- don't i make you happy?"
"oh baby you do, you do, you make me so happy." you brush a thumb across her cheek, "look how about i set up a meeting for you and momo to meet. it's about time anyway and i really think you'd get along really well if you got to know her."
she sniffles a little, thinking it over, before finally nodding albeit with slightl hesitance.
you grin, pulling her into a hug and she laughs against you, "you better be paying though."
you laugh as well, overjoyed your best friend was going to meet your... anyway, it didn't matter. sana was just happy to hold you and be close to you, letting her anxieties around you fade into the back of her mind.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
"i'm so sorry momo she promised she'd be here." you sigh in frustration, picking up your phone again to check if sana's replied to any of your messages or calls.
momo smiles kindly, "it's okay. she's probably just caught up in something. don't worry about it!"
"eugh yeah it's just really annoying because we already rescheduled this twice and now she's just not even showing up. wait... do you think something's happened to her? she's not normally bad with replies- oh god what if something's happened-"
"y/n! it's okay! she's probably just somewhere with bad reception right now. i'm sure she'll get back to you soon. should we order first? get your mind off things?"
you sigh, flipping your phone over, not wanting it to distract from the date you were now on with momo. she smiles gently, taking your hand and squeezing.
"yeah that sounds good. have you had a look at the menu yet?" you glance over at the waiter who had seated you, whispering to his coworkers with a sour look on his face, probably from the fact that the two of you have been sat here for almost 40 minutes and only picked at the starter breads and water.
the rest of dinner goes by smoothly. momo is able to distract you from your thoughts about sana and you're thankful for that. being with her was easy, fun. you don't think any of your previous relationships held a candle to momo, and you've only known each other for maybe a month or so.
dessert comes and she's telling you a funny story about how her dog boo had pooped on a guest dancer at her studio and he had to clean it up, only finding out afterwards that his name was also boo. she had apologised profusely and was very embarassed but he was nice about it and had jokingly offered to babysit her dogs anytime.
"speaking of my dogs, i was thinking... do you maybe want to... come over after dinner and meet them?" she's blushing, twirling her fork around and stabbing small pieces of the cheesecake in front of her, eyes avoiding yours.
you beam, "of course! i'd love to!"
"really?" she looks up at you in surprise.
"yeah! i gotta put a face to these little demon dogs you're always talking about."
she whines, "they're not that bad i swear!"
"you know i heard that pets actually take on characteristics of their owners..."
"... what's that supposed to mean?"
"nothing." you tease, pretending to go back to your food.
she kicks you under the table playfully, pouting. you laugh at her, finding her adorable, spooning some of your gelato up and offering it to her. her expression changes immediately when she opens her mouth, accepting the bite with a hum of satisfaction and a grin in thanks.
after dinner, you decide to walk back to momo's since she didn't live too far from the restaurant you had eaten at.
the night air is cool and refreshing, and you don't hesitate to slip your hand into momo's as you stroll along the streets. it's not too busy in this area so you can enjoy the little sounds of the creatures of the night scuttling around in the trees and on the ground. you glance over at momo who has a soft smile on her face, swinging your hands gently with each step, her face adorn with the subtle glimmer of the moon.
she catches you staring, and turns to you with a grin, "something on my face?"
you smile in return, "maaaybe something just-" you step forward, leaning in and hear her breath hitch just slightly when your eyes drop to her lips, you kiss her sweetly, 2 seconds maybe, and then you're breaking away, "there."
she's blushing, and you have a stupid grin on your face like the lovesick fool you are.
"romantic." she rolls her eyes at you, continuing your walk.
"i'll get you flowers next time."
"i'm allergic."
"chocolate then."
"i was joking i'm not allergic but now that you offered, i'll be expecting both."
"what?!"
she laughs, cackles really, her nose scrunches in the most adorable way, hand tightening around yours.
by the time you walk through the door of her apartment, you're a little tired but in the best way possible. the kind of tired where you know you're tired because you've just had the most fantastic day.
the dogs greet you at the door with excitement, panting, tongues out, jumping at momo's legs as soon as she enters. she laughs and bends down, petting them and cooing.
"so this one is dobby, he's a little shyer but he's a sweetheart once he warms up to you. and this little rascal is boo." she points out the two dogs and you bend down, reaching out a hand and letting them sniff you while momo stands up and takes off her jacket, placing it on the coat hanger.
"hiiii nice to meet you boys, i'm y/n, momo's..." you look up at momo, a little hesitant.
she raises an eyebrow at you, crouching down so she's eye level with you again, the dogs between the two of you, thrilled at the attention they're receiving. "girlfriend?"
you beam, giggling and leaning in to kiss her, "girlfriend."
she grins as well, standing up again and heading towards her kitchen, dobby follows her but boo continues to lick at your hand.
"want anything to drink girlfriend?" you can hear her teasing lilt from where you are.
"i'll have whatever you're having girlfriend."
“soy sauce okay then babe?”
your heart stutters at the term of endearment, completely disregarding her drink of choice. “i-i u-um y-yeah!”
you stand up and follow the sound of her laughter into the kitchen, boo pattering along behind you.
"i'm not sure if i want to kiss you if you're the type of person who drinks soy sauce y/n."
"what?! i don't do that!"
"not what i just heard."
you gape at her, but she giggles, coming up to you and planting a kiss on your lips. you can vaguely feel the wag of the dogs' tails at your feet, wondering what exactly their mom's doing letting someone else lick into her mouth.
she breaks away with a sly smirk, "still kissed you."
"uh huh-" you quickly reattach your lips, addicted to the taste of her, the way her lips move against yours, how she smells so close to you, the way her hands grip your shirt tightly, pulling you into her when you push her against the kitchen counter, trapping her against it.
it suddenly gets a lot more serious when she nips your bottom lip softly, and you let out an uncontrollable, but very real moan, and you have to break away painfully.
"my room?" momo breathes against you, your foreheads placed against each other's, sharing the same airspace.
you bite your lip, exactly where she had sunk her teeth into only seconds prior, watching the way she stalks your action like a hawk, "mhm."
and she surprises you when she picks you up easily by the thighs, and you yelp, wrapping your legs around hers and feeling her grin into the next kiss she lands on your lips, navigating her living room and into the bedroom, closing the door behind the both of you so her dogs wouldn't be privy to the sights of you coming apart under your new girlfriend's tongue.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
the next morning, momo kisses you awake with the smell of breakfast wafting into the bedroom. you blush at the sight of her only in an oversized tee, the marks on her thighs reminiscent of your activities the night prior. she doesn't fail to tease you at the red pigment blossoming on your cheeks, pointing out your own marks on your neck and chest.
you spend the morning cuddling on the couch, watching reruns of glee and feeding each other the waffles momo's made for breakfast, stealing kisses in between each bite, the dogs playing around on their own, sometimes hopping into your lap to nose at you or momo, asking for pets and pats.
you smile dreamily as you unlock your door, remembering your time with her, how she promised she'd buy a new toothbrush for you if you promised to come over again, which you did of course, that was obviously a given but you adored her asking.
you step inside finding it quiet. when you place your shoes next to sana's spot on the shoe rack, you realise she's still home when you thought she was meant to be working.
"sana?"
there's no response, so you drop of your things, entering your living room and finding she's nowhere to be found. you frown, heading towards the kitchen, then the bathroom, and finally your room with the door ajar. you peek inside and find a lump under the sheets, her blackout curtains still tightly shut.
you tiptoe inside, hovering over the bed and peeling back the duvet a little to see if she's still asleep.
you don't expect her to yelp, pulling the duvet back and burrowing deeper into the little nest she's made. you hear the telltale signs of her scrambling to cover up the fact that she was crying.
"w-what are you doing here?" her voice is croaky, shaky, you sit tenderly on the side of the bed.
"this is my home."
there's a sniffle, and then "people come home and sleep in their own beds. you didn't."
you sigh, trying not to get frustrated, "sana... you didn't turn up yesterday. and you never called me back or returned any of my texts."
"my grandma was sick."
"is she okay now?"
"y-yeah."
"was she really sick?"
"...no."
you hum, placing a hand gingerly on what you deduct to be her arm.
"i'm not mad."
"you shouldn't be."
you raise an eyebrow, "you stood us up."
"i had my reasons."
"and what were they?"
she sighs under the covers, then suddenly she's whipping them down and leaning into your space, planting her lips on yours.
you're stunned for a second, 2 seconds, and then she's pulling away, and burrowing back under the covers. you barely caught a glimpse of red cheeks and red eyes, your lips tingling from the press of her lips.
it's too late to pull her back out when you come to your senses, touching your fingers to your lips still in mild shock.
"i-i- s-sana i-"
she sighs exasperatedly, "is that reason enough?"
"w-why didn't you tell me?"
"because you were all over this new girl! you barely had time for me anymore!"
"what- that's not- how long have you felt this way sana?"
she groans, shuffling a little, "i don't know. i just know i didn't like it when you started seeing momo."
"so all that about not forgetting you..."
"well yeah... i think i've always liked you. i was just never threatened by someone else taking you away, even with all your past partners you've never- you've always come back to me."
you sigh frustratedly, running a hand through your hair trying to think what exactly this meant for you. "i'm with momo."
she scoffs, "i know."
"we slept together last night."
"... like in the same bed? yeah we sleep together too."
"no like- like slept together slept together."
there's silence for a bit, you can hear the breaths of the both of you, the wheels in her head turning.
"... you've slept with other people before right? what difference does this make?"
"i think i really like her sana."
she sits up then, hair a mess, skin blotchy, eye bags present, but her eyes are fierce. you're hit with a sudden wave of nostalgia. you really hadn't seen sana in so long. seen her smile, heard her laugh, ever since you started going out with momo she started acting weird and you knew why now, but she was right when she said you had pushed her away because of it, preferring to bask in the new romance momo offered you, avoiding dealing with the complicated feelings that arose when you thought about sana. you missed her.
"if this is you rejecting me just come out with it. stop beating around the bush and say it. say you don't love me like i love you."
"... you... you love me?"
she rolls her eyes impatiently, a crease forming between her eyebrows that you want to reach out and smooth out of habit, "yes."
"i-" you can feel tears welling up, you don't want to choose between your best friend and your new lover. you don't want to lose sana because of this.
sana notices because she notices everything about you, and her eyes soften, wanting to touch and comfort but resigning to fiddling with her fingers instead.
"just go." she says softly after you're unable to form words for the next minute.
"no but i-"
"i'm tired y/n. just go." she's turning around onto her side, preparing to lie down and curl up again, but in the spur of the moment, you grab her wrist, pulling her into you and kissing her again.
she lets out a sound of surprise, eyes widening, but lets you kiss her.
you're not even sure what you're doing, all you can think is you can't lose sana. not like this. not when the entire future you've planned out in your head includes her. not when she tastes like the saline of the tears streaming out of both of your eyes, that and a hint of something that was uniquely sana. not when you both still had so much life left to live together.
all of this remains in your mind when you follow her tear tracks, kissing her neck, her shoulders, down her chest. you can feel her still crying even when she sucks new marks into your skin, right next to the ones momo's left on you last night. the both of you don't know what this means, just that it's the end of something, and you were both going to make the most of it.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
"so how's sana been?"
"huh?"
"your best friend y/n. was everything okay after she wasn't able to make dinner last week? you haven't talked about her much since then."
"oh. yeah she's alright." you're not really sure if she was alright actually. you haven't seen her since the two of you slept together. you woke up to an empty bed, no note, but all of her things were still around so you know she hasn't run off to another country or anything.
"that's good. is there anything you wanna talk about?"
"what do you mean?"
"you've just been a little distant since last week. is it- do you regret- do you still want to be together?"
you look up from pushing your food around your plate, surprised at the vulnerability in momo's voice.
"no- i mean yes of course i still want to be together! i'm sorry i've been off i just-" you sigh dejectedly, "there's something i need to show you after work today."
"oh?"
"yeah... it's not... it's not anything you have to worry about, and i think it'll explain a lot, but it's also pretty heavy so i understand if you don't want to-"
you're cut off when she grabs your hand, squeezing it gently and smiling, "i'd love for you to show me. i'm just glad you're not breaking up with me one week into the relationship." she jokes a little, trying to lighten the mood, and you smile, grateful for her, but feeling your anxieties pile up knowing that you were about to reveal something to momo that no one else except sana knew. if you wanted this relationship to work though, you needed to do this. you couldn't start this relationship off on the wrong foot, you wanted to do this right.
♰˚☽˚。⋆
your grip on momo's hand is tight, but she doesn't complain, squeezing back every few minutes to remind you that you weren't alone.
after work, you had driven both you and momo to your destination, a park a little out of the ways. the drive was quiet, momo didn't mind though, humming softly to the music on the radio and staring out the window, glancing back at you every so often. you parked, stepping out of the car, already doubting the decision of coming here.
there are a few other people in the park milling about. momo smiles politely at an old couple who break away from a hug to nod greetings at you. you barely notice them though, your tunnel vision and your thoughts becoming louder as you get closer.
you pull along momo who's holding a large bunch of flowers that you had stopped by at the florist on your drive to pick up.
you spot her then. avoiding eye contact as you get closer to her.
then you're standing in front of her.
"y/n."
momo lets out a little muted gasp behind you, but you squeeze her hand, focusing forward.
"sana."
"i see you've decided to forcefully make momo and i meet like this."
"i didn't have any other option."
"there's always another option y/n."
"not when it comes to you sana."
she tilts her head, "what is that supposed to mean?"
you shuffle your feet a little, "you know what it means."
she sighs, stepping closer and cupping your cheek. "why are you crying?"
you're surprised at her statement, the hand that's not holding momo's coming up to wipe hastily at your eyes.
sana's hand drops along with her face. "i thought you said you'd never forget me."
"and i never will sana."
"what's this then? it feels an awful lot like goodbye."
you can't contain the tears streaming down your cheeks, "i could never say goodbye to you sana."
sana's crying now too when she looks up, "don't then. don't say goodbye. say you'll pick me. say we'll stay together for the rest of our lives, like we promised when we were kids. say you love me y/n."
"i-i- i can't sana! i can't do that!"
"why not?"
"because- because i still have the rest of my life sana."
she sniffles, wiping at her eyes. how you wished you could see her smile just once more.
"i guess this is it then."
"no. no this isn't- i told you sana i'll never forget you. you'll always be with me. everything i do i'll always think about you, every new person i meet, every new life stage i enter, i'll think about you. i- i- i loved you sana."
then sana's in your arms, crying into your neck while you hold her, sobbing nearly hysterically, clutching onto everything, a film roll of memories playing behind your eyelids, of the first time you met, the first kiss you shared drunk at a college party, the times you'd piggy back sana from the library to your shared apartment after attempting to pull an all-nighter, the time you first signed your lease together, the time she squealed and brought you into a hug after you got your first job, insisting on a celebration, every single birthday, graduation, milestone, every single moment you've shared with her crosses your mind.
"i have to let you go now." you croak into her ear, voice still shaky and laden with emotion.
she's quiet for a bit, then she pulls back, eyes wet but smiling. she's smiling. oh god you've missed it. "i understand." she says against your lips, foreheads knocked against one another's. you close your eyes, committing to memory her smile, each line, each crease, you were never going to forget her.
when you blink your eyes open again, she's gone, the only evidence of her existence, the headstone reading:
in loving memory of
minatozaki sana
1996 - 2019
you don't even realise you're crouching in front of the headstone now, having let go of momo's hand long ago, until you hear a small rustle behind you and you look up to see momo offering the flower bouqet to you and crouhing down. you smile in gratitude, taking it from her and placing it under the letters of the headstone gently, rearranging to make sure it fit perfectly.
you speak up after a while, having left momo in the dark for long enough now. "it was a freak accident. she was coming home late after work because there was this kid in her class who's parents didn't come pick them up until way after school ended. she was in a rush because it was movie night. no matter how busy our lives got, we always had movie night, something that was stable when everything else in life wasn't i guess. didn't see the car coming. she died on the way to the hospital."
momo's quiet, placing a hand gently on your shoulder.
"i'm sorry i lied to you. i haven't- it's been five years since it happened, but i haven't fully moved on i guess. not until now. you know this is the first time i've visited her grave since the funeral?" you chuckle brokenly, feeling the tears well up again.
"and there's not even anything under here. she was cremated and her parents took her back to japan."
"that doesn't mean you can't still grieve here."
you sigh, "i know. and it's silly y'know? to think i'm still grieiving after 5 years. everyone else has moved on except me. i still- i still saw her everyday- in that way i wasn't lying to you. i just- after the accident and then the rush of the funeral, it all didn't feel real. i still felt like i was going home to sana, and to laughs and smiles and movie nights and cuddles. it didn't make sense y'know? i know death is natural and whatever but it doesn't make sense to me, how someone is here one second and then gone the next. i couldn't make sense of it. so i didn't. she was still alive to me. i still saw her everyday, still packed both our lunches, sent her off to work, took care of her when she was sick, i never got rid of any of her things because in my head she was still using them. she still has her place on the shoe rack at home, her clothes are still mixed in with mine, her expired skin products are still on the bathroom counter. i never- she's always been with me momo i-"
you start blubbering, words no longer making sense and you feel momo shuffling closer to you, wrapping her arm around you tentatively, and you turn and bury yourself into her, crying into the arms of someone physical. someone who was real, who was here in the present with you.
momo doesn't say anything, letting you cry, running her hand through your hair soothingly, letting you take as much time as you needed.
when your sobs subside the sun's setting. you sniffle into her, breathing in her scent, a new comfort to you.
"grief is a monster. not everyone gets out alive, and those that do might only survive in pieces. but it's a monster that can be conquered with time."
you chuckle a little into her. "where'd you get that from?"
"a book i read. summer bird blue. i can lend it to you if you want."
you hum, pulling away from her and wiping at your eyes, smiling softly, "i'd like that."
she smiles as well. "do you think she would’ve liked me?"
you turn back to the gravestone, the cold words etched in marble. "yeah. i think she would’ve loved you. i kept on telling her that y'know? in my head. you two would’ve gotten along famously."
"i'm glad." momo turns to the gravestone as well, "it's nice to finally meet you sana. i promise i'll take care of y/n. you don't have to give me the whole best friend speech about how you'll curse me for the rest of my life or anything. she's special, and i'm grateful you were such a good friend to her. she loved you a lot."
you sniffle, listening to momo talk to sana. when she's done, she looks back at you with a smile, her face illuminated with the golden-orange hues of the sunset.
"thank you momo."
"hmm?"
"remember how i was talking about soulmates? how i think there's people i was meant to meet and people i'm not? thank you. i think sana brought you into my life to help me get over this. i haven't- the last five years has just been me in my head, i've been on autopilot. you were the first person to change that. to make me feel like- like there was a little more brightness to life again."
momo's tearing up now as well, you'll learn that it's not very common that she cries. "i'm glad fate has led me to you then. and i hope you know this doesn't mean sana's gone. she'll always stay with you."
you look back to the tombstone longingly, "i know. i promised i'd never forget her. she will always stay with me."
momo leans into you again, and you rest your head on her shoulder, the cool breeze blowing against you softly, the sun setting behind you.
maybe momo was right. it took you five years, and it'll probably take you a lot longer, but you were going to get over this monster, and you were going to live out the rest of your life, like sana always wanted for you, not in-your-head-sana, the real sana that you're not afraid to admit is gone now, but will always stay in your mind, your heart, with your soul.
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