#which is true but then like at 1:30am when I’m like yeah I’m going to head home now can I help you with getting home like what route are you
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Heyyy what are your thoughts on the title of nico's book and the plot in general (pls i want a rant
I love you conteud btw
Omg this ask akxhakdhsksj hold on just let me show you this. So, this is my post:
And the reblogs:
LMAO believe me this is so funny istg. Why? Because that is exactly how I feel about the title.
- First, I’m gonna be perfectly honest here, I’m NOT comfortable with the Adventure part.
Because the same as @gods-nico, I don’t like how it downplays Nico’s physical and mental trauma as a… field trip. Yeah let’s just go with that.
I’m aware of my enthusiasm for angst materials, but this is just a little too much for me. I have always seen Tartarus as a forever deep, unfixable, indelible scar to Nico’s body and mind (i came up with a disable Nico AU based on that. like, srsly). He suffers from it and never manages to fully escape. It’s terrible. It’s nightmarish. We’ve all seen how difficult it was for Percy and Annabeth to trek through it. Tartarus is not, by any mean, someplace one would wish to explore in a freaking adventure.
It’s like saying all the horrors they’ve gone through down there are actually magical wanders. Or tourist attractions. Something along that line. Please, just. No. Don’t do that to me.
In fact, the sole reason Nico wants to come back to Tartarus is because he loves his friend Bob too much to leave him. It’s a rescue mission. They’re jumping head first in a hellhole to save Nico’s friend, not go sightseeing and definitely not a picnic. 😦😦💀💀
I’m saying this with utmost respect: the fact that the title practically sugarcoats Tartarus and dismisses Nico’s dedication to his friend upsets me.
- However, as much as I ‘value’ Nico’s trauma, I’m also amazed by his strength and ofc, eager to see more of it. That’s to say, I wholeheartedly wish to see Nico conquer Tartarus.
I’ve said it once and I’d say it again: I love both Nico’s sufferings and toughness.
Nico would be powerfully beautiful standing up against one of his deepest trauma, all resilient, unafraid and unrelenting. He manages to overcome his fears and thus, is finally able to heal fully. (Nico di Angelo deserves to goddamned heal)
This is the only scenario in which I indulge a less terrible Tartarus, not because the hellhole itself is any more lenient, but that Nico has become much, much stronger. And with the help of his boyfriend, they’re enough to fight it and win.
It’d be absolutely splendid. And I’m nothing if not a powerful Nico enthusiast.
It’s many things coming at once. Nico’s resolve. His resilience. Will’s support. His love. Their love. All of them get Nico another step closer to his happy ending. And what kind of Nico’s self-proclaimed mother would I be if I’m not forever grateful for that?
When I see Nico win over Tartarus, it’d be thanks to his inner strength and everything he’d managed to gain by himself, NOT because the hell itself is ridiculously nerfed weak.
That’d be the true prove to Nico’s astounding character development.
- Regarding the Sun vs Star part, we’re probably talking pretty lively about it so I’ll just skip it lolol it’s 1:30am.
Moving to the plot.
- I’m genuinely excited to see Bob again, not only because I adore his and Nico’s friendship but also I want to see how his character development would progress, provided that Iedeptus’ memories show signs of coming back. And ofc, how that would affect the friendships he’s made with the demigods.
This is the closest, most detailed I get to see of Nico interacting with a side-character. Exactly what I’ve been harboring a special liking for.
Bob isn’t a popular character. And when some beloved unpopular character of mine gets the spotlight, I’m more than thrilled.
- But again, the title “Adventure” does dump a bucket of cold water on it. I’d be extremely disappointed if Nico’s rescue mission turns out to be a children’s walk in the wild park. Hopefully not.
- Ofc, Will Solace. How a healer like him is gonna fend for himself and keeps Nico from physically/ mentally deteriorating at the same time really intrigues me.
I don’t have specific expectations for Will like plague abilities etc, but still I’m genuinely looking forward to see how Rick and Mark would work it out for him. A well-built background for him would be nice, too - I’m aware a lot of us love Will on a spiritual level - but I’d have no problem to be sufficed by a Nico-centric story.
It’d be lovely if through Will, we have the connection to Apollo/ Lester as the protagonist of the previous series, as well.
- Frankly, Will Solace and Solangelo practically have the most potentials LOL. They are both unexplored/ poorly-portrayed fields that hold a lot of materials to work on. And I know for a fact that a large number of loyal fans would want to feast in it.
I only hope they’re well-written and logical. If Solangelo turns out to be forced and poorly-written I might just bury myself.
That’s all I’ve got to say at the moment, I guess.
For the outro, just let me establish that, while I may have some qualms with the title, I’d refrain from commenting on and spreading information about the book itself - as long as it isn’t published yet.
A title doesn’t say everything about a book, so I’d like to keep the expectations/ worries in check while everything is still veiled. What I rant about the title does not stand for how I judge the book. We’ll get to it when I’ve actually read the final work itself.
Lastly, sincerely thank you, anon, for this ask!!! 🥺🤩👍 I get to rant freely lol. Even when you might have opposing opinions to mine, please feel free to send more asks if you want to discuss more! (´▽｀) I’m open to everything except hate, really.
Have a nice day, and I hope none of us would be disappointed when the book comes out.
#nico di angelo#pjo#hoo#toa#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo#percy jackson and the olympians#yone rambling#nico solo book#will solace#solangelo#rick new book#the sun and the star: a nico di angelo adventure#tsats#riordanverse#nico and will in tartarus#tartarus (pjo)#bob (pjo)#iedeptus#nico and bob friendship#nico and bob
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elyu fün
I badly wanted to post this photo on my soc med but I can’t since 1) the guy is just someone I met from bumble 2) we’re ff each other in IG and it might bother him why I post the pic and 3) I don’t want others to think I’m dating someone just bec there’s a guy in the photo. But since I really want, I’ll just post it here.
Background story: it was my first time going to La Union for its beach and to party. I’ve been planning yearly to go here since 2018 but for some reasons it always doesn’t happen — even a day before this trip I was kinda expecting Niella to say she can’t go and I’m not ready to go here solo so more likely this won’t happen if that’ll be the case. We only stayed here over the weekend. Hopped on a bus at 4:30am Saturday then rode a bus to home at 10pm Sunday, extended our stay bec we originally just booked 1 night.
On our stay we just ate, tambay sa beach, take lots of photos, swim, drink, and eat. On our first day, while Niella was playing vball with others, I opened bumble and swiped guys. Then while we’re in Fatwave drinking, I saw a bumble notif that I got a match but didn’t open it yet cos I want to enjoy the drinking and the place. But after we drank, we layed in the sand while looking at the stars and I opened the app to see who I matched. Then we invited him to us, and the rest is history.
Okay so about the guy… he’s a police, taller than me, has a car, sporty, and is family-oriented. Yup, he also checks most of the things I listed that I want on a guy (two consec guys na ha!). He treated us beer while we were talking and sitting on the beach (another thing that I’ve been imagining happened). And also, days before this trip I told myself I will smoke because I was so stressed with work but I forgot about it and just remembered it when he asked us if we want to. I smoked 3 sticks if I remember it correctly. Then he stayed the night with us and the morning after he treated us breakfast. We drove to McDo while Niella is still asleep then kwentuhan continues over breakfast. I find him sweet too, btw. So I don’t know if we ever get to see each other again, but he said in our chat “see you when i see you guys” and “till next time 🙏” which maybe is a bluff but I hope it’s true.
So yeah, overall it was a memorable first time in elyu and it was a great weekend! So here’s my fave photo from that weekend.
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Can I get an imagine where the reader meets lila, and even tho she knows she's a liar and manipulative she knows there might be a reason behind it and she tries to befriend lila to break down her walls and be the friend lila always needed since everyone hates her, reader gets backlash for being friends with lila. Especially from marinette but lila hold reader close since reader is the only one who believes in her and gives her a chance even after everything she has done?
A Second Chance
summary: just the request!
words: 2.2k (my longest yet!)
warnings: she/her pronouns used and female reader implied, talks of bullying, mentions of lunch and eating, marinette is kind of out of character but eh, being sad, but happy ending kind of. you’ll see what i mean. if there’s anything i missed please let me know!
^^also if you catch any spelling errors or anything like that!
a/n: i really am so sorry that it took me so long to get to this. i currently have two more requests that i’m going to try and get out by the end of the week. i did get rid of a few requests, so if what you sent in isn’t one of the next 2 works i put out, i’m super sorry. i just wanted to have a clean inbox and had to get rid of the things that i just couldn’t motivate myself to write. i really hope you guys understand. i’ve just had writers block and be super busy. anyways: i hope you guys enjoy! it’s the longest work that i’ve posted so far!
also yes i am posting this at 1:30am :)
Y/N had just moved to Paris a couple of weeks ago, and had just started settling into her new school. She didn’t really have any good friends yet, but she was starting to get more comfortable with the people in her home room class. She especially liked a girl named Marinette, and wanted to be better friends with her. She seemed super nice and they shared similar interests. Y/N was getting good grades, retaining the information, and became more confident. She was just overall happy with how things were going for her right now.
They say it isn’t truly high school without a challenge, but Y/N didn’t think that she’d have many issues at this school. Everyone around her seemed really kind, the work was fairly easy, and at first things didn’t seem super eventful. Well, aside from having super-heroes, and akumas, and a super villain, etc. But everyone told her that she’d get used to it eventually.
One day during lunch break, everyone was crowded around the front entrance of the school. Y/N wondered what everyone was doing, so she went over to the crowd to check things out. She slowly but surely maneuvered her way to the front of the crowd, and was a little surprised to see what seemed to be a normal girl. Not a celebrity or anything special, just a regular student. She hadn’t seen this girl before, so maybe not even that. Maybe she was just visiting. Then, the girl started talking to the people in the front of the crowd.
“Yes! Prince Ali asked me to come live with him in the palace. Of course, I didn’t accept. I just couldn’t leave all of my fellow students here without me!” Y/N immediately thought that this girl was delusional. She listened for a minute longer, but the girl’s story was getting super boring and repetitive. After a couple of seconds Y/N just couldn’t take it any longer, and went to lunch normally. As soon as she reached the cafeteria, she spotted Marinette at the table she usually sat at. She approached Marinette and asked if she could sit with her.
“Of course! I was actually waiting for you to show up. I know this is where you usually sit, not in like a creepy stalker way, but yeah! I figured it was a good place to wait. What took you so long?” she asked as she tilted her head, a look of confusion on her face. Y/N replied, “Oh, some girl claiming that Prince Ali wants her to live in the palace with him was rotting people’s brains with her obviously fake story near the front entrance. Seriously, how do people buy that crap? It’s like they just brainlessly listened to whatever she was saying. It’s-“
“Wait, wait, wait. did the girl have straight, brown hair, with bangs? Probably wearing orange with polka dots? Green eyes?” Marinette cut Y/N off. “Yeah, sounds accurate. Why?” Y/N questioned. Marinette rolled her eyes and appeared to be frustrated and annoyed. “Lila’s back from her ‘stress relieving vacation’ with the royal family!” Marinette said the last part in a high pitched voice, batting her eyelashes, and holding her hands together by her face, obviously mocking the girl. “Lila?” Y/N asked. “Yeah, she’s a student here. She’s in our home room actually. I swear, she can’t speak one sentence without lying. It’s a serious issue. It’s just so frustrating to see people eat up everything she says like they’ll never eat again.”
After lunch, Marinette and Y/N went back to Ms. Bustier’s classroom. They found their seats, and waited for the class to start. Suddenly, Y/N remembered that Marinette said Lila was in this class too. She didn’t see her, so maybe Marinette had gotten it wrong. She sure hoped so. From what Marinette had been saying about her, Lila didn’t seem like a nice person at all. She just seemed annoying and rude, not someone Y/N wanted to be around. Just as Y/N began to relax, thinking that Lila surely wasn’t in her class, the last group of people walked in. And guess who was in the middle of the small crowd, probably sharing more of their far fetched tales? Lila.
As soon as everyone was in their seats, Lila started talking louder so people could hear what she was saying. Everyone quieted down, as if they were eager to listen.
“Yes! Sometimes I wonder why I said no to the offer, since everything is so wonderful there! The architecture, the food, the people, the plants and animals... but then I remember how amazing you all are, and I remember why I’m needed back here in Paris!”
“Please...” Y/N said quietly to herself. “Are people really buying this crap?” She thought. She looked across the classroom to see Marinette getting visibly angry.
Y/N gestured for her to calm down, but it was too late. Mari had had it. “Lila, would you just do us all a favor and shut up?!!” Marinette raised her voice on the last part, which startled everyone a little. Even Ms. Bustier. “Alright, alright class. Settle down. We’re going to begin class now. Marinette, please don’t raise your voice again.” The teacher warned. “Yes ma’am.” Marinette responded, and then slumped in her seat. Y/N looked up at Lila, and noticed that she looked upset. Like, genuinely sad. Not “oh everyone look at me I need all the attention cause I’m sad.” She looked like she was really hurt. Y/N wondered if maybe lying isn’t all there was to Lila. Maybe she just needed someone to listen. Maybe Y/N was just too nice. But her mind was already made up. After school today, she was going to talk to Lila and see if she could get anywhere.
The bell had just rung, and everyone was gathering their things. Y/N started walking out of her last period, when she spotted Lila sitting by herself on a bench.
Y/N took a deep breath, and then slowly approached Lila. As soon as Y/N got there, Lila looked like she was ready to gather her things and get up and leave. “Wait!” Y/N called. Lila looked back and then started to put her things back down. “What do you want? I’ve kind of had a long day and I’m about ready to be done with it.” She said angrily. “I’m Y/N. I’m new here, and I’m in Ms. Bustier’s class with you. I was there when Marinette shouted at you today, and I just thought you looked upset and might need someone to talk to. I know you probably have your own friends and stuff that could listen but I just wanted to let you know that I could listen if you want me to.” She took a breath after finishing her fast-spoken, rambly sentence.
“To be completely honest, I don’t have many friends.” Lila said looking more sad and upset than angry. “You seemed pretty popular during lunch. And at the beginning of class earlier today.” Y/N said, now sitting down on the same bench as Lila. “That’s popularity for you. Those people just listen to what I have to say because everyone else does. They aren’t my friends.” Lila said, almost hurt by her own words. “Those things you were saying today, were they really true? Not to be rude, but they were a little out there.” Lila took a deep breath and then started speaking again. “They were half true. I did visit the Prince’s country, and everything really was beautiful, but the truth is I never even came in contact with the royal family.” Lila sighed, and looked at the ground. “You’re probably gonna go and tell everyone now, right? Tell them I’m just a liar? I bet you’re just like Marinette aren’t you? Little miss perfect going to snitch on someone just for wanting some attention. Well people listen to me more than they listen to you, so you better watch what you say!” She was now standing, right in front of Y/N, all up in her face. Lila started to tear up a little. Y/N noticed this, and was quick to stand up herself and put a hand on Lila’s shoulder. “I wasn’t gonna tell anyone. No need to get defensive. You seem really upset. I feel like this is about more than just what Marinette said today.”
Lila took Y/N’s hand off of her and sat back down. Y/N quickly sat on the bench too. “I’m sorry, I’m just... I don’t get a lot of attention or approval anywhere but school. It’s almost like I’m forced to come up with all of these fairytales of what I wish my life was, just so people listen for at least a few seconds. I just wanna feel liked. And I don’t get that anywhere but here. Sorry, sorry. I know you don’t wanna hear my full life story.” Lila gave a sad little laugh and took a breath, before starting up again. “I really do need to find some friends, don’t I?” She was once again looking at the ground, but after she finished speaking she started to look up at Y/N.
“Then let’s be friends. On one condition...” Y/N said. “You need to cut back on the lying. Especially the ones that hurt people. Marinette was telling me a little about you at lunch today, and most of what I heard wasn’t good. The things you say matter. They have power and people pay attention when you speak. You can use that power for good instead of bad.” Lila giggled a little. “You know you sounded really cheesy, right?” Y/N started laughing herself. “Just a little cheesy. Now come on, it’s getting late. They probably won’t let us stay in the building for much longer.” Lila checked her phone and saw that Y/N was right. School ended at 3pm, and it was going on 3:30. They picked up their belongings, and walked out the school. They waved goodbye, and both went home knowing that this was the start of a good friendship.
Weeks passed. Lila hadn’t spread a hurtful rumor since her initial conversation with Y/N, and things were going great with lying in general. Sure it still happened here and there, but not nearly as much as it used to. Y/N wasn’t getting along very good with Marinette nowadays, but she decided that it was for the better. Marinette had her friends, and didn’t need Y/N the way that Lila did. One day, Y/N overheard Marinette talking about Lila to a small group that consisted of Nino, Alya, and Mylene. Y/N walked over, just to see what was going on. “Hey guys! What are you talking about?” She asked, as if she hadn’t already been listening for a minute. “Oh, nothing, just your new little friend over there.” Marinette said as she rolled her eyes, and gestured towards where Lila was laughing with a small group of people. “I honestly don’t understand why you guys don’t like her. Once you get to know her, she really isn’t that bad.” Y/N defended her new friend. “Please Y/N, we all know you’re only friends with her because no one else is. Face it, she’s a bad person. All she ever does is lie, manipulate, and hurt people. You should just end it now before she hurts you too. Honestly, she-“
“You know what Marinette? Maybe Lila just genuinely didn’t know better. Have you been paying attention the passed couple of weeks? They’ve actually been trying to be kind and making friends. Maybe she hasn’t been the best in that past, but you need to grow up and move on! Seriously, what are we, 10? Look around! Just over there people are laughing and having a normal conversation with her. She isn’t lying, she isn’t being rude, she’s just laughing and having fun! Maybe if you gave her a chance, took the time to get to know her, and stopped being so closed minded, you’d see that she’s really a cool and fun and interesting person. Even when she isn’t lying! Just get over yourself already, okay?” Marinette was shocked, and a couple people nearby who had stopped to listen were shocked too. One of those people being Lila. Y/N just kind of slowly walked away, hoping that not too many people noticed.
Later in the day between class periods, Y/N was walking when all of a sudden they felt someone hug her from behind. She looked back and realized that it was Lila, and she was smiling. Y/N turned around and Lila let go, only to hug them again from the front. “What’s got you so happy?” Y/N questioned. “I heard what you said earlier. It’s really all because of you. I’ve never had a friend like you before. I’ve never had a true and real friend. Thank you so much for giving me a chance.” Lila said. There wasn’t a trace of any lie in that sentence. Lila was so grateful for Y/N, and Y/N was equally as grateful for Lila. They both needed each other so that they could discover what a true friend really is.
andddd that’s a wrap! if you made it to the end i hope you enjoyed!! requests and still open, and my writers block is completely cured, so if you send something in it should be up soon. have a lovely day!!
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Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 77-81
This is the Seras vs. Captain fight, which is for some reason broken up over a one-shot “Operation Wolf”, and two 2-part arcs “Warcraft” and “Wolffang”.
Seriously, why not just call it “Wolf Stuff” parts 1 through 5 and be done with it?
Okay, so The Captain has been hanging around Millennium since they debuted in Brazil, but he hasn’t done jack shit so far. He intercepted Walter and Integra when they were trying to drive home to Hellsing HQ, and Walter sent Integra away, claiming that he doubted that he could defeat the Captain at his advanced age. After Integra left, he remarked that the Captain was just as strong as he had been when Walter last met him, presumably in 1944.
Then it turned out that Walter was secretly in league with Millennium, and as the invasion of London started to turn against the Nazis, you had the Captain and Vampire Walter both sort of hanging back and protecting the Major. Then Alucard showed up and the Captain got right in his face, along with Alexander Anderson, as if to suggest that the three of them were the “big guns” of their respective camps. But he still didn’t do a whole lot. I mean, he attacked Alucard while he unlocked Level 0, but so did everyone else and it didn’t do any good. When Anderson tried to fight Alucard one-on-one, the Captain and Walter held back and watched.
Finally, when Walter made his big play against Alucard, the Captain only stepped into keep anyone else from stepping in. He shot Heinkel in the face, but not fatally, and even gave her a medical kit before he headed back to the Major’s blimp.
So this part where he confronts Integra and Seras as they fight their way to the Major is supposed to be a big deal, like when Darth Maul appears on Naboo and the Jedi have to fight him while Queen Amidala takes her soldiers on a detour. Except it works in Star Wars because we had seen Darth Maul fight earlier in the movie, and we knew what he was capable of. With the Captain, I guess the main appeal is that the story treats him like a big deal, as if hyping up the eventual moment when he finally shows us what he can do. Well this is it.
Leading into this fight, the Major was explaining to Hellsing that he and his Last Battalion crave death, but not just any old death. They want to go out in a glorious struggle, which is why they spent 55 years preparing to pick a fight with the Hellsing Organization. At this point, just about everyone in Millennium is dead, so now it comes down to the last few guys to choose their partners for their own final dance. The Major wants a showdown with Integra, so the Captain points out the way for her so she can leave Seras and the Captain to have their showdown.
At this point, it’s really just process of elimination. I think by now, Millennium’s down to just five guys: The Major, the Captain, the Doctor, Walter, and Warrant Officer Schrodinger. Dok and Schrodinger don’t seem like fighters, and apparently Walter vs. Alucard suits the Major’s plans, so either the Captain can fight Seras or he can stand around and watch everyone else fight. That seemed obvious to me when I watched the OVA in 2016, but now I’m thinking about it a little more.
I mean, for me, this is great, because Seras is my favorite character, and this means we get another Seras fight out of this story before it wraps up. And the general idea here is that this is Seras’ first real battle after she leveled-up and turned the tables on Zorin Blitz. This is a chance for her to face a much stronger enemy and show off what she can really do as a “true” vampire. One advantage of late-game Seras is that Kouta Hirano draws her a lot more seriously. Her stockings aren’t as baggy and her boobs aren’t flopping around like two walnuts in a condom. I’ve always felt like a lot of early Seras art was intentionally silly just to emphasize her as a rookie-sidekick-comic relief. That never completely goes away with Seras, but in the later volumes she gets to at least approach the dignity of her masters.
So for my money, this whole fight justifies the Captain’s existence in the story. He was waiting in the wings to fight Seras once she had grown powerful enough to rise to the challenge. And they did a good job building the guy up for this. He never fought anyone up to now, but Walter acted like he was a big deal, and we’ve seen Walter wipe out a lot of bad guys over this story. And his three-way showdown with Anderson and Alucard suggests that he could fight Alucard and not look too stupid.
Also, I finally found a scanlation of Hellsing: The Dawn, and confirmed that yes, Kid Walter and Girlycard faced the Captain in 1944, and Girlycard cut and run. The Dawn ended right after that moment, so we still don’t know exactly why Alucard abandoned that fight. Was he actually afraid he might lose? I suspect there was more to it than that. The point is that if you know about that moment, you realize that Seras is in deep water here. She’s throwing down with a guy who stood up to Walter and Alucard and survived.
So this fight is a big deal for Seras’ character arc, but I sort of wonder if this was what the Captain wanted. Everyone else in Millennium was looking forward to this big epic battle in London, just killing and eating civilians left and right, and then dying in some climactic battle with Hellsing and/or the 9th Crusade and/or a nuclear bomb dropped by the Queen. I can imagine Zorin Blitz anxiously awaiting any of those outcomes.
But the Captain’s almost too powerful for his own good, and I suspect he’s the one guy who understood what the Major had in mind for Alucard. So he knew he wouldn’t get to fight Alucard or Walter or Anderson, because they’d be too busy fighting each other. Anyone else is a mismatch for him. He beat Heinkel Wolfe like she was nothing. None of the 9th Crusaders would have stood a chance against him. Seras is giving him a decent workout, but Seras wasn’t even on the board until a few months ago, and she didn’t start drinking blood until last night.
So was the Captain just sort of going along with the Major’s plan, hoping against hope that there’d be sport for him in London? Maybe he was the backup plan in case something fell through with Walter or Anderson. Maybe he was thrilled when they learned that Alucard had turned Seras. “Maybe she can give me the fight I want,” he might have thought to himself.
You know, I’m just thinking out loud here, but I think I’m starting to get into this guy. I never cared much for The Captain’s strong silent act before, but he makes a nice blank slate that you can project things onto. Maybe he’s been observing Seras this whole time, trying not to get his hopes up, but also knowing that she was his only chance to get anything out of this battle. He’d watch the Dandyman fight and hope that Dandyman didn’t kill her. He’d watch the crisis with the H.M.S. Eagle and be relieved that Alucard was sent to stop Rip van Winkle and not Seras, who might not have survived the attempt. He’d watch Zorin Blitz’s unauthorized assault on the Hellsing Mansion and wonder if Zorin blew his chance or saved it. There’s a fanfic in this. I gotta write this down. Wait, I am writing it down. Sorry.
Let me get back to the fight itself. After we get past the “shooting big guns at each other” stage, the fundamental problem becomes apparent. The Captain can become intangible, allowing him to hit Seras without getting hit back. This is something I had trouble following the first time I watched this fight, because early on, the Captain seemed to fake out Seras by slipping out of his coat and using it as a decoy. Like, that’s a trick a mortal fighter could pull, but the point is that The Captain keeps doing that same gag without the coat. But I didn’t pick up on it because he transforms into a wolf-like creature, so it didn’t register that he’s a giant werewolf and he can turn intangible. But yeah, he can do both, and that’s why he gave Walter and Al such a hard time before. You can’t hit the guy, and even if you could, he’s not a vampire, so the usual anti-vampire tactics we’ve seen so far aren’t going to be enough.
Meanwhile, Alucard is fed up with this fight against Walter. Walter’s body is powerful but unstable, so it’s really just a matter of time before Alucard wins by default. But he’s not willing to wait that long, because Walter’s a shithead turncoat who doesn’t deserve the honor of a glorious last stand. Anderson got that honor, but Walter? Get outta town. So instead, Alucard decides to drink a bunch of blood to power up and crush Walter in one fell swoop.
“But where’s he gonna get blood at this hour?” you might ask. “The Blood Store” doesn’t open until 9:30am!”
Oh, that’s no trouble at all. After all, there was an enormous battle in London last night, so Alucard can just summon all of the blood from everyone who was killed. London civilians, Ninth Crusaders, Millennium troops, all of them. I don’t know what the range is on this ability, but if you’re dead and you have blood, he’s taking it.
This development pleases the Major, who reflects on the nature of vampires, and why he would never want to be one. He flashes back to what I assume was the Battle of Berlin? There were Russian soldiers beating the shit out of him and then they shot him and left him for dead. I guess that could be any German town invaded by Soviet troops in the final months of the war. Anyway, that moment bears a striking resemblence to Vlad Tepes’ final human moments in Chapter 68. The blood even seems to seep towards the Major, as though inviting him to drink before he dies, so that he can become a vampire himself. But the Major refuses.
Then the Doctor and the Captain happened along and saved him, I guess. This marks the first confirmation that the Major is not a vampire like his Last Battallion troops. Somehow he looks exactly the same in 1999 as he did in 1944, but it’s not because of vampire powers. Well, the Doctor might have turned him into a vampire after 1944, right? Wrong, the Major despises the very concept of becoming a vampire, because he understands the whole deal with absorbing the souls of others when you drink their blood. As he sees it, doing this represents a dilution of the self. Alucard has been drinking the blood of thousands of people over the centuries, which has made him powerful and nigh immortal, but you can make the argument that he’s lost his own identity in the process. The Major respects his power but he considers the price too high. “I am me,” he declares, in defiance of all the glorious, beautiful power that Alucard has. That’s what makes them enemies, in his mind.
So the Major resolved to defeat Alucard without becoming a vampire himself. For him, this “war” he keeps talking about has been like a mountain climber looking for the ultimate mountain to climb. How could he achieve this lofty goal? Everything he’s done has been to set up this singular moment. That’s why he treated his own goons as expendable, and why he never cared much when one of them failed a mission or defied him. The Doctor thought Dandyman might beat Alucard, but the Major knew it would never be that easy. It was just a test run to guage Alucard’s abilities. Rip van Winkle and Zorin Blitz were never supposed to succeed in their missions, they were just pawns sacrificed to get the opposing pieces into position. The Catholic forces were there to force Alucard to unleash Level 0 and then lose all of his stored-up souls. And then Walter would attack Alucard, goading him into drinking all this new blood to finish the battle.
But what good would that do the Major? Well, he seems to think he can “poison” this “wine”. But we’ll get into that later. For now, the point is that the Major has good reason to be smiling, even though he seems to be on the verge of defeat.
But let’s get back to this shindig. You know, the Captain looks kind of cute this way, like he’s just sniffing Seras to get to know her.
Just as Seras begins to despair, she suddenly hears a guy with a French accent speaking in her mind. It’s Pip! He’s alive! Bullllllshit he is, he took a scythe in the back and Seras drank all his blood. He’s as dead as it gets, but she can hear him anyway.
The OVA explained this better. There, when Zorin tried to read Seras’ mind that last time, she saw Pip’s memories intermingled with hers, and when Shrodinger appeared to relay the Major’s message, he also mentioned that when a human gives up his blood to a vampire willingly, it has a more profound effect on the vampire who consumes it. And this always struck me as a good explanation for why Seras overwhelmed Zorin so completely, and why Pip could still retain his consciousness inside Seras. We already saw Alucard’s host of absorbed souls, but they were little more than mindless drones. I always found Dandyman and Rip to be especially frigthening, because we know they were bitter enemies of Alucard, but they seem completely oblivious to this as they fight in his service as familiars. But Pip is his own man. Maybe it helps that he’s the only one in Seras’ “castle”, but it’s probably got more to do with the fact that they were friends before and he wanted it to be this way.
Anyway, Pip starts giving Seras advice during the fight. He convinces her not to give up, and then he gives pointers on how to use her powers in more tactical ways. For example, instead of using her left arm to throw her shadow tendril at the Captain like a spear, he tells her to cast it along the ground. This way, she can attack him along a plane, instead of a single point, making it harder for him to avoid it.
But it still doesn’t solve the problem of the Captain’s intangibility. I guess he can turn into something like mist? I’m not sure what it is exactly, except that he can’t be touched unless he wants to be.
The Captain knocks Seras down into the cargo hold of the airship, where Seras discovers a gold tooth, and Pip observes that this must be a horde of treasure that the Nazis stole from all of their victims in World War II. It’s easy to lose sight of the Nazi angle with this story, because it’s introduced like this shocking development, and then it becomes to commonplace in the story that it’s almost like background noise. But this moment offers a helpful way to bring that back into focus. There was never any cause behind Nazi Germany. It was always about killing and brutalizing other people and taking all their stuff. Likewise, Millennium’s been doing all this horrible shit for no other reason than the sick fun of it. I think Kouta Hirano chose the Nazi imagery because he’s a World War II buff, but I’m glad he threw in scenes like these to remind everyone that this isn’t just some aesthetic choice. He’s using the Nazis’ real world atrocities to bolster this dark narrative where the good guy is fucking Dracula of all people.
On another note, why did Millennium bring all this shit with them? I guess they knew they wouldn’t be coming back to Brazil, but the Major seems pretty sure they won’t be leaving England alive either. Then again, it seems like a lot of his men didn’t understand this, so maybe he only allowed them to bring their treasure to humor them.
But it works out for the Captain because he brought Seras down here so he could kick a silver tooth at her. Pip realizes that it’s a hint. I don’t know if the Captain is trying to lose this fight, but he at least wants Seras to know how to beat him. Maybe he’s just bored dodging her attacks, and he thinks he needs to give her a handicap to make this more interesting. Or maybe he honestly doesn’t care about this fight, and he’s just trying to find someone to put him out of his misery because he can’t do it himself.
Something I noticed in the manga is that Seras is only briefly surprised to hear Pip speaking from within her. Like, she wasn’t expecting this to happen, but it doesn’t take her very long to get used to it. Maybe this is part of her development. Stuff like this no longer throws her anymore. She just instinctively understands how her vampire body works now. How is Pip smoking right now? How is she aware of him smoking? Why does she care if he does it or not? I dig this sort of thing because we never find out, but even if we had the answers we could never understand what this is like.
My only complaint about the whole “Pip’s inside me” development is that it threatens to undermine Seras’ rise as a hero in her own right. She became what she is now when she made the decision to drink blood and embrace her true nature. But now that she’s here, she’s taking orders from Pip and calling him “Sir”, which sort of implies that she’s only doing this well because she’s merged with Pip and he’s giving her directions.
Like, I know that’s not the real message her. This is just Seras getting deeper into her own powers, one of which is the ability to use familiars like her Master did earlier. It just plays out differently because she only has one and it’s a more personal connection. She’s probably only calling him “sir” because Seras is just respectful of her elders and that’s in-character for her. But I’m still not crazy about some of this.
Anyway, they figure out that the Captain has to turn solid when he attacks, so the key here is to eat a hit from the Captain and then hit him back before he can go intangible again.
So Seras puts it all togehter for one final attack. He picks up a huge bomb and throws it at the Captain...
...then she tries to divekick him through the smoke of the explosion. He spots her anyway, but it doesn’t matter because...
... she needs to hit him while he’s trying to hit her. I think the smoke was just to make him think she was making a mistake when she was actually trying to get him to stand his ground. Note that Seras is punching with her left arm. Usually it’s just a trail of shadowy tendrils, but she’s been coalescing it into a more typical arm shape during this fight, mostly to hold guns and such.
So they punch each other’s hands so hard that their arms explode, but Seras recovers faster, because she’s used to that left arm being all disintegrated, I guess. Then she says “Oo-wa-a-a!” like she’s either singing “Down With The Sickness” or doing the Count von Count laugh. Take your pick, I got no idea what these word balloons are about.
The Captain throws a knee, but this time Seras catches his leg in her teeth, so I guess he can’t just go intangible like he normally does. This sets him up nicely for...
... Pip emerging from her left shoulder with the silver tooth. It’s a cool moment because it confirms that Pip isn’t just a voice in her head speaking from beyond the grave or whatever. He’s in there, inside of her, just like with Alucard and all of his familiars. This is Seras Victoria’s version of “Level 0″, which makes you wonder if she has the same Control Art Restriction thingies that Alucard had. She just seems to have inherited these abilities from Alucard, powers which I’m pretty sure the Hellsing Organization gave Alucard when they enhanced him over the past 100 years. Seras is doing all this naturally, if you can apply a word like “naturally” to alchemically enhanced vampires.
Anyway, Pip coming out to say hello means that Seras has a longer reach on her left side, so he drives the tooth into the Captain’s heart before he can do anything. Then Pip flips him off for good measure.
And that does the trick. The Captain seems surprised to be beaten this way, and then he laughs silently as he bursts into flame. I almost wonder if he was relieved to meet his end. The other Millennium soldiers died smiling, but he seemed more haunted by his time as an immortal monster. Anyway, Seras is fucking sick of these Nazi Vampires and their nihilist bullshit.
So has Sir Integra, who has finally found the Major, only to discoer he’s behind some reinforced glass dome or something. She uses up her ammo trying to shoot it, and then she breaks her sword on it.
And this is standard for the Major, as he seems to relish the chance to explain everything. Now that there’s no one left on his own team to listen, he seems to really want to go over it all with Integra, since he needs her to understand that this was all part of his plan. Alucard’s about to disappear, and I guess he couldn’t stand the thought of Integra thinking it was a coincidence.
So yeah, Alucard is busy gathering up all the blood of all the dead people in London, something like three million people. There’s rivers of blood flowing through town, converging on his location, and Warrant Officer Schrodinger is watching all of this when he suddenly whips out a knife and decapitates himself.
Then his head and body plunge into the river of blood. I guess it was impossible to kill this little turd, so maybe it figures that he had to kill himself.
And Alucard, completely unaware of this, sucks up all the blood without a care in the world. He’s finally ready to end Walter once and for all, but the Major thinks this is the end of Alucard instead. But why? Well...
#2021hellsingliveblog#hellsing#alucard#seras victoria#the captain#sir integra hellsing#the major#warrant officer schrodinger#the doctor#kind of surprised i had this much to say about the captain#but that's why these liveblogs are fun#you make connections you wouldn't otherwise make
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Holiday | Part 3 |
Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’ve been friends with Alex Turner and the other boys from Arctic Monkeys since you were 13. You never for a second thought that Alex would release a song about you though. From late night phone calls and almost constant texting and teasing, you’ve managed to stay close with him over the years. When a pact is established and a holiday is arranged, life seems to be treating you very well. But a month in LA will either make or break you.
Word Count: 17K
Warnings: Forced sickness
A/N: This is one of my favourite parts of this whole series, if not my actual favourite. Really hope you all enjoy it! This is where things start getting fun. Taglists are always open. Thank you for reading x
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| MASTERLIST IN BIO |
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After quickly grabbing your drink you both went back inside the bar and you ended up having a really fun night. The night was filled with stories and lots of laughs between the three of you.
You and Alex fall back into your flirty banter that you always did over the phone as well, but it just made it funnier that you were actually face to face for it. When you both came back inside you ordered a round of drinks for the three of you to go on Sam’s tab and proceeded to do that with the rest of the drinks the whole night.
Round after round, it all went on his tab.
When you made it back to the table you sat down next to Alex again. And the flirting started soon after that.
By 11 you were absolutely plastered. You hadn’t been this level of drunk for a long time, but you still had your head on. You knew what was going on around you.
Your emotions were just a bit all over the place. Which would be why the following scene unfolded.
“Stop it” You say, drunkenly holding your hand up to block Alex from your view.
“Stop what” Alex asked, batting your hand away. He was confused by your actions.
“Just for five minutes please just stop” You plead.
“Stop what? Are you okay?” Alex laughed completely confused.
He looked to Miles to see if he knew what you were on about, but Miles was just as confused as him.
“Just stop being attractive for five minutes please” You beg him which causes Alex to laugh.
After a few minutes of another few jokes being thrown about the table you catch Alex looking at you in a particular way again. And the way he’s looking at you makes your body ache for him.
“Alex I’m being serious stop with them eyes” You say seriously.
“What eyes?” He laughs a smirk of mischief on his face.
“You know what eyes” You give him a serious look, trying to warn him to stop.
“I don’t think I do” Alex smiled at you before he did it again.
The look where he’s basically checking you out by looking you up and down like he’s hungry.
“Stop making me try and shag you” You close your eyes almost pleading this time.
“Why you tempted?” Alex asks teasingly.
At that comment you smile and attempt to tease back in your drunk state, “Always tempted around you Alex. Sing me something and I’m yours”
“Baby I’m yours” He quietly sang, and you died inside at how fucking amazing his low voice was now.
“Awh I fucking love that songggg” You whine and both boys smile at you.
“Stop it though” You start again with a grin.
“Stop what?” Alex laughs with wide eyes.
“Being attractive”
Alex smiles and looks you up and down again before saying, “When you do”
You’re about to continue the banter until Miles interiors saying, “Can you two stop with the flirting already?”
You look to Miles and laugh. Bless the poor guy having to watch you drunkenly interact with the guy you’d been hiding your feeling from for years.
“Milesss stop being so jealous. I said if I needed you, I’d booty call you” Which you did tell him earlier.
You thought you’d lost your phone and you asked him to call it for you because Alex had gone to the toilet. That was when the booty call joke came about.
“Oh yeah, after you get off with him twice and then shag some other bloke” Miles points out.
“Don’t bring that up and lower the tone… But I think you’ll find I gave Alex the best pull of his life” You tell him before taking another mouthful of you drink.
“Best pull of his life, ey? Do you agree with that Al?” Miles grins and looks to Alex.
Alex scrunched his face up and shrugged his shoulders. He said to Miles as if you weren’t there, “I mean she’s good but she’s not quite the best”
You scoffed at that and furrowed your eyebrows at him. Miles laughed at your reaction to his statement and said “You’re gunna have to do better Y/N”
You tut before saying, “I fucking will”
And you lean back into Alex and kiss him again. You cup his face once again and you love the way his lips felt against yours.
This kiss wasn’t quite as intense as it was the first two times and it wasn’t a rushed either. In no way did that mean that it didn’t affect you though, because it really did.
From just the kiss alone it gave you that excited feeling inside your stomach. You felt like you were doing something dangerous yet you never wanted to stop.
You started teasing him with your tongue again but this time at a slower pace. You knew he was enjoying it because you felt him place a hand on your thigh and at certain points you felt his grip tighten.
You only pull away when you hear Miles tapping on the table near you.
Miles starts to tease you as you turn back around to look at him which you take very light heartedly. You knew he was only joking though.
You all slip back into conversation surprisingly easily considering your tongue was just down Alex’s throat. But no one seemed bothered by it, you’re all very invested in your new conversation.
After 5 minutes, Miles gets a phone call which leads you and Alex to have your own conversation for a few minutes. You start reminiscing about high school and all the different stuff you got up to way back when.
You couldn’t believe how much had changed.
You were both that invested in the conversation though that you’d not noticed Miles get up and put his jacket on. That was until he put his hand on Alex back and said that he was “gunna head off”
“Everything okay?” Alex asked him and Miles nodded the phone still to his ear.
“Yeah all good. I’ll see you both tomorrow” He nodded and smiled at you before he rushed out.
Neither you or Alex looked into his behaviour any further as you slipped back into your old conversation.
“Yes, I remember because you pulled her at that party didn’t you” You smiled, remembering the night he was on about.
Alex chuckles at that, “Yeah I think did actually. She was alright from what I can remember”
“Shame that the memory’s been overshadowed by my amazing gifts now” You joke with him sending him a knowing smile.
“Yeah yeah yeah” Alex smiles at you.
“What, the last one not any better for you?” You asked him with a grin.
Alex lent closer to you before saying, “Little bit. Maybe you should try again”
You smile at that before bringing your hand up and lacing it into the side of his hair before pulling him back towards you.
You feel Alex rest his hand down on your thigh again as you continue the kiss and you enjoy everything that’s happening. You let Alex take over his one and as his tongue finds yours you pull on his hair a bit more so he’s closer to you.
Your heart was beating rapidly, and you felt so excited. You loved this feeling. You don’t think you’d ever been this excited to kiss someone in your life.
Alex coaxes a little groan out of you that he feels against your tongue and you feel him smile into the kiss a bit. You don’t even care though because you’re actually loving your life at this moment in time.
You feel Alex hand brush further up your leg a bit and you get more excited than you should about a kiss that’s literally just trying to prove a point. It was all a big joke, but your heart was beating so fast you could hear it.
You forced yourself to pull away because after all it was for a joke. It would be a completely different story if you were kissing and you weren’t trying to prove a point.
After a lot more drinks, you realise that the time is now 1:30am and you both decide it’s time to call it quits.
You both end up in a taxi back to Alex’s and your stay close to him. His arms around you and your resting your head on his shoulder. You’re fairly certain that at one point you both fall asleep.
You open your eyes back up though and see that the meter hasn’t gone up by that much though so you mustn’t have been asleep for long. Alex arm was still tightly around you and you turned into face his neck a bit more.
When you did that though your lips grazed his neck and you drunkenly pushed the boundaries a bit far. You then lightly placed a few kisses up Alex neck until you felt his arm tighten around you.
You moved back a bit knowing you needed to stop. You looked up at Alex to apologise but as you did so he dipped his head down to kiss your lips again.
That resulted in lazily getting off with him in the back of the taxi until the driver had stopped outside Alex’s house. You got out of the taxi in giggles when Alex kept his arms around you as you walked to the door of his house.
You both joked about whilst you got in the house and when you sat down, in your spot, on Alex’s settee you started to calm down.
“I’ve had such a good night” You smile as you slip your boots off.
“Good. Told you LA’s good” Alex says shrugging off his leather jacket and sitting down next to you.
“You look knackered” You giggle looking into his brown eyes. He looked so sleepy and he had a lob sided grin.
“You know me. I’m always tired” Alex says, and you giggle knowing it was true.
You rest your head on his shoulder and sigh. You felt Alex rest his head on yours and you start dozing for a minute or two before you start to feel disgusting.
That’s when you know what time of the night it is.
You pick your head up off Alex shoulder and you feel him lift his head too. You both look around at each other with sleepy eyes and share a smile.
“Thank you for a good night Al” You say with a smile but then shuffle forward to stand up as you say “Imma go make myself be sick now”
“Y/N no” Alex says furrowing his eyebrows and holding your hand, so you don’t move further away.
You turn back and look at him with a smile. It’s adorable that he’s trying to stop you, but you have to go, “I’m going Alex”
“You’re not” Alex says as he pulls you back into his side.
“I am cause if I don’t, I’ll feel angin’ tomorrow” You tell him sitting yourself up again.
“It’s not good to make yourself be sick Y/N/N” Alex protests with a worried look on his face.
“It’s very cute of you to worry, but if I wanna see daylight at all tomorrow I need to do it. So, thanks again” You say before you kiss him on his cheek.
Thankfully that distracts him enough to loosen his grip on you.
“But I’m going” You declare getting up and quickly making your way to the stairs.
“Don’t” Alex says as he starts to get up, but you’re already making your way up the stairs.
Once you get to your bathroom upstairs, you lock the door and you feel sick as soon as you get in there anyway from running up the stairs. So, when you stick your fingers down your throat you immediately start to throw up.
You can hear knocking on the bathroom door in the background, but you weren’t currently that fussed as your head was in the toilet.
“Y/N” You hear Alex say from outside when you stop being sick for a second.
“Y/N/N let me in” he insists as you rest your head in your hands for a second whilst the vomiting stops for the moment.
You pick your head up and say, “Absolutely not Alex. You’re not witnessing this”
“Y/N” He practically barks at you, but you start to heave again and more of the disgusting coloured liquid leaves your mouth.
This time tears start coming down your eyes too and you’re having trouble wiping them away as you keep your hair back too. But a second later, you feel hands take the hair from the side of your face and you can feel it being held at the back of your head.
You forgot that he had those safety locks on his doors that could be opened with a coin on the other side of the door. In your head you cursed that he’d got in, but you can feel that he’s here to stay. He’d sat himself down on the floor behind you and he was slowly rubbing your back, whilst holding your hair.
You stopped spewing for a few seconds and said “What are you doing in here Alex? I don’t want you to see me like this”
“I’m not leaving you on your own like this” He says, as he continues to rub your back.
“I’m sorry” You say wiping the stray tears from your face.
“Shhhh it’s okay” Alex says as he continued to sooth you.
You just continue to take deep breaths and when you think nothing else is going to come up for a minute or so you flush the toilet and lean back into Alex’s chest.
You close your eyes and you lean your head back against his shoulder. You bring your hands up and wipe your face with the sleeves of your top.
You then hide behind your hands for a second and you hate the fact that Alex has seen you like this.
“Fuck me” You say into your hands.
Alex chuckles at that and says, “I would have done but you’ve just been sick”
You let out a loud giggle at that.
“Well shit I’ve blown it again” You continue to laugh.
“We’ve got the rest of the holiday don’t worry” Alex chuckles before gently kissing the side of your head.
You laugh at that before you take a few deep breaths again. You can feel your heart thudding in your chest really fast and you think your hangover is already starting.
“Give me your hand a sec?” You ask him and when he brings his hand up to yours, you take it and put it on your chest above your heart.
“Am I gunna have a heart attack?” You ask him, pressing his palm down so he’ll feel your heartbeat.
Alex chuckles at your question and you feel him shake his head behind you. “You’ll be fine, you just need to take some deep breaths”
You do as your told and soon enough your heartbeat starts getting a bit slower. You feel loads better than you did before already, but you still didn’t feel right.
“Do you think you’re gunna be sick again or can we move” Alex asks you, his voice soft as if trying to sooth you with his voice too.
“I can feel that there’s more there but I’m getting too warm. Could you grab me a vest top please? There’s loads in my room” You ask him.
The long sleeve top that you had on was starting to feel like a second skin and you just wanted it off.
“Course. I’ll be back in a minute” Alex said before comfortingly kissing your head again and getting up as you again leaned against the toilet.
Alex went into his room to grab a bottle of water that he knew was in the mini fridge he had in there. As he got it out, he cracked it open and had a sip of it first to get rid of his dry mouth.
Alex felt near enough sober again now after comforting you. He’d panicked when you ran up the stairs. He didn’t want you being ill, especially if it was partly his fault that you were so drunk.
As he was about to leave his room, he noticed he already had a vest top out that was clean. It was his old vans one that was still ridiculously comfy to wear. He didn’t mind you wearing it though.
Alex went back to the bathroom and noticed you were once again heaving into the toilet, trying to hold your hair out of your face. He quickly ran back in and held your hair out of your face after throwing the other stuff he brought in on the floor.
You were more important.
When you catch a breath, you’re able to say ‘thank you’ again and Alex smiles and just rubs your back as his reply. He knew how awful it felt to try and speak when you were being sick.
He could feel how warm you were through your top and he knew in that top you must have felt suffocated with the long sleeves.
“You need to cool down love, do you think you can change your top?” Alex said as he kneeled on the floor behind you.
You slowly nodded and Alex let go of your hair so he could get you his top. He heard you flush the toilet as he moved.
He got the top with ease and gave it you. You immediately put it on over to top of your other top which confused Alex immensely.
You then, after some manoeuvres, pulled your other top off from underneath your new one. As you turned to throw the top into the washing basket you noticed Alex’s confusion.
“Not got a bra on, didn’t think you’d wanna see my tits” You tell him.
‘Oh how wrong you were’ Alex thought.
Alex half smiled and watched as you took a couple more deep breaths with your eyes closed.
“Do you hate me yet?” You asked him quietly, your eyes still closed.
“Can you stop?” Alex said sitting behind you again and pulling you against him and he hands you the cool bottle of water.
“I’ve never hated you and I never will. This happens to the best of us” You hear him say as you feel the cold liquid ease your burning throat.
“Why are you so fucking cute?” You say bringing one arm up around to run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.
“It’s the High Green in me, what can I say?” Alex smiles at your words and the feeling of you playing with his hair.
His comment made you laugh though. Really laugh.
“Okay, like every other guy from high green is like you. You’re the nicest and the best-looking thing to ever come out of High Green Alex. The rest are all fucking angin’” You tell him truthfully.
“Ey, that can’t be true… You grew up there too” Alex tells you and you can’t help but giggle.
“Oh yeah and look at me. Spewing up into your toilet” You say sarcastically leaning forward again because you could feel the last of it moving its way up your throat.
Alex moves with you and takes your hair in his hands again. He makes sure he’s got it all in his hands and then twists it to try and make it easier for him to hold.
“You looked beautiful tonight Y/N” Alex tells you. Still admiring you even now.
“Again, too fucking cute Alex” You say before you take another sip of your water.
You’re both silent for a minute. You just trying to catch your breath and feel a bit better and you focus on Alex playing with your hair to distract you.
“I like you messing with my hair” You say obviously not having a filter.
“I like messing with it” Alex smiles and carry’s on twirling it around his fingers.
You smile at that but then you start retching again. Thankfully after another minute of throwing up, there wasn’t anything more to come up. You were just retching on the air.
You drink some more water before then taking a big mouthful of it and washing your mouth out before spitting it into the toilet. You then sat back against Alex again after flushing the toilet.
After a silent minute you felt a lot better and you’d started to feel tired.
“I’m sorry” You say again.
Alex again scorns you, “I told you, it’s fine”
“Well I’m embarrassed anyway so I wanna say it again” You tell him, taking a few deep breaths.
“Like I said earlier you don’t have to be embarrassed around me” Alex says, and you only now can appreciate him holding you against him.
His hands are on your hips keeping you close to him so he can give you the support that he can offer. He just wanted you to know he was there and also comfort you in a way that wouldn’t make you boiling hot like a hug would.
“Same to you then Al. You don’t have to be embarrassed around me… Not that you ever are though” You say with a little laugh at the end.
“Thanks love” You could practically hear Alex’s smile when he said that.
You take another sip of your water and then release a long sigh.
“You ready to go to bed now?” Alex asks you.
You nod and he slowly releases you from his hold. You go to stand up by yourself but that soon becomes problematic.
You feel wobbly on your feet and Alex can soon tell so he holds you by your hips again to get to the sink. He let’s go of you and sits on the side of the bath as he watches you brush your teeth.
After that’s done, you both head out of the bathroom and you feel Alex hand on your lower back. It was as if he was there to catch you if you fell, which again you thought was fucking adorable of him.
Alex follows you into your room and he sits you down on your bed before saying, “Get into your pyjamas and I’ll be back in a minute”
You do as your told and get into your pyjama shorts as soon as Alex leaves the room. You were freezing now, yet you didn’t want any layers on you. You just stayed in the vest top not wanting to change again.
You quickly grabbed a make-up wipe once you spotted them on the desk where you’d done your make up earlier. You didn’t want to look like the Joker in the morning, so you took it all off.
You were sort of thankful when Alex came back in, in his own pyjamas and he handed you some painkillers and a different bottle of water.
“Thank you” You say softly and take them.
Your head was already starting to bang so you were thankful for the relief that they would soon be providing you.
“Come on, get in bed” Alex says softly to you and you again do as your told.
Alex gets in bed alongside you and you don’t even question it. He’s probably making sure you don’t die in your sleep.
In your hazy state you don’t even judge yourself when you immediately seek Alex’s body warmth. You move over and immediately cuddle yourself into him and let sleep take over.
~*~*~*~
The next day, you silently recovered from your hangover. You didn’t spend much of that day outside and when you did you had to borrow Alex’s sunglasses to take the bright glare away.
At about 11am you felt Alex waking up, so you let him escape from your grip before going back to sleep for another 2 hours.
And when you eventually did rise out of bed you came down in what you slept in. That consisted of pyjama shorts and what you realised to be Alex’s vest top.
When you first came down the stairs, you sat in your spot on the settee and Alex smiled at you from the other one. You immediately shut your eyes and lent back into the seat, seeking its comfort.
“How ya feelin?” Alex asks playfully patronising you and you can hear his smile in his voice.
“Not good” You say before pulling the folded-up blanket off the back of the settee and covering yourself with it.
You get yourself comfortable on the sofa and when you eventually open your eyes again Alex is grinning at you. You shake your head smiling at him because you know you’re an embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry” You groan trying to make up for being a mess.
Alex lets out a low chuckle and you already want to die. Not only did you get off with him multiple times, but you also threw up in front of him and you slept cuddling him.
That was the definition of your messy self.
“It’s fine Y/N/N” Alex smiles and you return the smile.
“Do you want me to go back home?” You ask him with a pout on your lips.
Alex laughs and shakes his head. “Nah, I’d be bored if you left now” He smiles.
“Well I’m glad I amuse you” You chuckle before closing your eyes again and leaning back into the comfy settee.
Alex takes care of you for the first few hours of you being awake. He makes you some toast and got you some painkillers, which did make you feel a bit better.
However, when Miles and Matt come round to watch the football, you get progressively worse. That being because you don’t feel well and because you’re tired.
When they came in you were practically dead on the sofa. You were lay down curled up in a ball with the blanket over you.
Alex had got up to let them in and when the 3 lads walked into the room, Matt started chuckling, “Heard you had a hard one last night Y/N/N”
Miles and Alex followed him in with a grin on their faces. The boys looked at you like you were a comedy sketch.
“You rough?” Matt followed you and you nodded.
“Yeah” You groaned.
You weren’t really with it today yet at all. You definitely needed more sleep despite sleeping in till like 1pm.
They then got themselves settled down and got their beers ready for the game ahead. You couldn’t think of anything worse to drink currently but you didn’t argue with them. You just stayed silent with your head resting on the arm of the sofa and you tried you best to pay attention to what was going on around you.
Alex was sat next to you on your settee and Miles and Matt took up the other one. They were watching a pre-season friendly game that was being played over here in America. Thankfully though, you weren’t that fussed about it because it wasn’t Sheffield Wednesday playing.
However, Miles was getting extremely into it because it was Liverpool playing some American team you’d never heard of. It seemed like it was a good game considering how excited Miles was getting at the beginning of it.
After about 10 minutes of his shouting, you were getting ratty because you didn’t like the infrequent noise and it didn’t help that you were still tired.
You either needed no noise or constant noise. So, you decided to go upstairs to get your earphones and you grabbed a pillow too.
Whilst you were up there you also changed into some joggers that you’d brought with you so you could stay warm. Sometimes a blanket just wasn’t enough, and you were a creature that craved comfort.
When you returned, Alex had taken residence in the seat that you’d been in nearly all afternoon. You furrowed your eyebrows at him before throwing your pillow at him.
Alex chuckled at that and but then put the pillow down on his lap. You weren’t even going to question it as you lay yourself back down on the sofa and kept the pillow on Alex’s lap.
“Not to be rude but I either need silence or constant noise so I’m gunna listen to some music” You say as you rest your head down on his lap.
Alex chuckles, “It’s alright. What you gunna listen to?”
You looked from your phone up to him and you shared a knowing look. You listened to their music constantly at home, you weren’t going to stop just because you were here with them now.
Alex smiles down at you knowing what your silence meant and your eyes went back down to your phone. Alex’s eyes travelled there too as he watching you bring up Humbug on your Spotify and press My Propeller.
You then gave Alex another smile before you put the earphones in and closed your eyes listening to their music. You stayed like that for a long while. You knew the boys would be being loud for most of the 90-minute game which you didn’t mind you just tried to fall back to sleep.
After about 15 minutes, you were almost asleep until you heard Miles cursing over the music in your ears. You let out a sigh at that which Alex chuckled at.
He watched as you changed your position on the sofa. Instead of laying on your back you now lay on your side and you were facing him. Your eyes were still closed as Alex watched you fumble about for your phone to turn the music all the way up like you should have just done originally.
Your earphones were the new Apple ones so when you turned it all the way up it was loud enough for Alex to faintly hear it over the sound of the football. Alex again chuckled when he saw you quietly mouthing the words to Dance Little Liar.
Alex watched you for a minute in that state until he felt you relax a bit more. He could see that you weren’t in the right frame of mind as soon as he saw you this morning. The alcohol had definitely had it effect on you despite you forcing yourself to be sick and you were suffering the consequences of dozens of free drinks.
Alex had tried his best all day to make life a bit easier for you. So, he tried again now. He let his free hand go to the back of your head and run his fingertips soothingly through your hair.
It was needless to say that you relaxed further into his touch and in the next 5 minutes you were asleep. That didn’t stop Alex softly soothing you though, he kept his fingers in your hair hoping that his small actions relaxed you more.
Alex kept repeating his actions as he continued watching the football. The game was quite good and much to Miles’ disappointment then American team were currently winning when it reached half time.
As the adverts came on Miles got up and stormed off to get himself another drink. His ranting was making both Alex and Matt chuckle as the adverts carried on.
Matt turned the TV down a bit because it was pretty loud and then him and Alex settled into a conversation about the first half and the penalty decision that wasn’t given. But halfway through that conversation when Miles came back in Matt muted the TV.
Alex and Miles looked to Matt with furrowed eyebrows because they were confused about his actions. “Why’ve you done that?” Miles asked him but Matt raised his arm silencing him.
“Is she asleep but listening to music?” Matt looked to Alex and motioned toward you.
“Yeah” Alex nodded looking back down at you.
Alex could hear himself singing Crying Lightening through your earphones and it was coming out quite loud. He didn’t know how it wasn’t waking your up.
“Is she listening to...” Matt asked and then pointed between himself and Alex.
A smile then grew on Alex’s face and he nodded “Crying Lightening”
“She’s so funny” Matt chuckled before unmuting the TV.
“She is” Alex smiled looking back down to you. His hand still in your hair as you rested peacefully.
“You gunna ask her out whilst she’s over or what?” Matt asked Alex, which caused him to whip his head back up to look at Matt like he’d just shot him.
“Can you shut the fuck up?” Alex told him.
“Can you answer the fucking question?” Matt shot back.
“She’s right there” Alex motioned down to you laying in his lap.
Matt rolled his eyes at him. “Yeah asleep and has her earphones in on ten thousand decibels”
“They did pull each other last night before she shagged that guy” Miles told him.
“They what?” Matts eyes went wide and he had to look back to Alex.
“Y/N went up to him and pulled him and then he did the same thing to her about two minutes before she got a shag out of that guy. Oh, and she pulled him after too” Miles informed Matt of the new information.
“Alex mate come on. You have to at least ask her this time” Matt told him.
Alex shrugged saying “We’ll see”
Miles grinned at him and said, “She’s definitely up for it. Anyone can see it and you were both flirting a lot”
“Miles fuck off” Alex tells him.
“Nah mate. You weren’t sat with her when you were with that girl... And, she fucking told you to your face that she’d let you get her off. Not to mention you practically eye fucked each other” Miles said seriously.
“Why the fuck didn’t I come out last night?” Matt sighed to himself.
But Miles continued his rant to say, “So stop being a pussy Al. She’s not gunna say no”
“Right, can we just watch the fucking match?” Alex said getting annoyed.
He’d been perfectly fine admiring you from afar for years. And it used to not be from a far. He’d liked you back when you were like 16 but he didn’t want a scandal between school friendship groups, so he just left it.
That night you were drunk at the party just after the first album came out, he really fell deep for you then. And that was the same day he told himself that he needed to stop. For the sake of your friendship he needed to stop and move on.
Which he did. But he would always think you were attractive, and he would probably always fancy you. And 10 years later that was still the case. He thought himself lucky that you were staying at his place for almost a month.
The match came on a few minutes after the talk about you stopped and thankfully the miles and matts attentions returned to it. Alex’s hand returned to your head and continued running his fingers through your hair.
The next 45 minutes passes by relatively quickly and when the match finishes Alex looks back down to you and notes your back to mouthing the lyrics to his songs indicating you were once again awake.
Alex removes his hand from your hair and returns his attention to the tv. He didn’t think you’d want him messing with you whilst you were awake. But he was wrong.
After a second you looked up at him and moving slightly which caused Alex to look back down at you. He smiled noting your lip pouted the tiniest bit and your tired eyes and how you grumpily reached up behind your head to grab his hand and move it back where it was.
He smiled down at you as he continued what he’d been previously doing. You smiled up at him before closing your eyes once more and again silently singing along to Cornerstone.
Before long you knew you weren’t getting back to sleep, so you decided to change the album. You sighed and opened your eyes and started fumbling about for your phone.
The Jeweller’s Hand had just finished playing again and you followed the lead of your earphones to find your phone. You found it between the cushions on the sofa and you paused the music with some force.
“Did I do something to upset you or...?” Alex asked you, noticing your actions towards his album.
You looked up to him and smiled shaking your head slightly.
“Just want a different album on” You tell him before glancing at your phone and putting AM on.
You smiled as Do I Wanna Know started playing. You started mouthing along to the words. You scrolled through your phone for a bit doing that before finding nothing interesting, so you focused your attention back to Alex.
You smiled and continued mouthing the words as he silently mouthed them back down to you. You started silently singing to each other from the lyric ‘Cause there’s this tune I found that makes my think of you somehow’.
You were making each other chuckle whilst doing it because as you mimed to each other you both kept doing some actions. When ‘sad to see you go’ came on you pretended to wipe tears from your eyes and Alex pretended that a tear was trickling down his face.
At ‘baby we both know’ you both did the exact same thing and you motioned between the both of you, which made you both chuckle.
You made a phone gesture with your hand when the chorus came along and you quickly changed that action to you pretending to drink a few drinks. You pointed toward each other when he said, ‘I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new’ and when the chorus ended you pointed at each other too.
When it got to the second verse and Alex sang ‘guts’ in your ear, real life Alex went to tickle your stomach which you hastily stopped him from doing. He knew you hated to be tickled so you playfully frowned at him as you restrained his hands.
You chuckled at him and held his hands away from your abdomen. After a few seconds when you knew he wouldn’t go back you released him.
When ‘simmer down and pucker up’ came on you both obviously puckered up at each other which made it difficult to keep singing and to not laugh. You let the face go as you carried on ‘singing’ at each other.
Alex raised his eyebrows suggestively at you when you got to the bit of being ‘on the cusp of trying to kiss you’ but then he shrugged obviously not knowing if you felt the same way he did, like the song said.
‘But we could be together, if you wanted to’ at that point you smiled up at him and shrugged optimistically at him. The song finished itself off and you both carried on the actions
Before you knew it R U Mine started playing and you now found yourself wide awake again and in a good mood.
As the song kicked in you and Alex did the air drum thing like him and Matt did in the video which made you giggle. Especially when Alex did the big drum solo at the start of the chorus.
This caused you to sit yourself up and look round to find Matt and smiles on the other sofa. You pulled your earphones out before dragging out Matts name to get his attention.
“Y/NNNN” He drew out your name in the same manner, before looking round at you.
“Can you teach me how to play the drums please?” You asked him.
“Why?” He furrowed his eyebrows at you, weary of why you wanted him to teach you.
“Because I wanna be able to do that drum solo in R U Mine and be a cool motherfucker like you” You told him semi honestly.
“Sure but not today” Matt smiled.
You gesture to yourself looking hideous and obviously not feeling to well before you say, “I definitely wasn’t meaning today”
“Well then yeah sure” He said before taking another sip of his beer.
“You don’t want guitar lessons do you Y/N? Alex can teach you a thing or two?” Miles asked you with a smile that you were fairly certain held a hidden joke, but you decided not to bite.
“I can play the guitar so I’m good thanks Miles” You tell him.
“Since when could you play guitar?” Matt asked you.
And almost immediately after Alex asked you, “Thought my music buddy was exclusively piano”
You smile, “Yeah that was until I had a lot of free time with a guitar and nothing better to do”
Miles shrugged at you. “He could teach you a thing or two you never know. He’s good with his fingers” Miles carried on with a cheeky grin.
You chuckled at that before sitting up properly next to Alex and picking up his hand that was closest to you.
“Oh I’ve got no doubt he’s got magic hands” You smirked looking from Miles to Alex with a big grin on your face.
Alex noticed the mischievous look in your eye before you said, “Can make excellent music with them Turner” which was quite innocent compared to how you were looking at him.
Your bottom lip ending up being chewed by your teeth just after your tongue had subtly ran over it. You silently giggled to yourself before letting go of his hand and standing yourself up.
“Anyone want a drink?” You offered politely.
You could see that Alex’s drink was empty, so you reached down to pick up his bottle of beer to take it back into the kitchen with you.
“I’d love one thanks Y/N/N” Matt said, and you went and got his empty bottle as well before heading towards the kitchen.
As you disappeared from their view, Miles looked to Alex and said, “If you don’t, I will”
Miles then received a death stare that he’d never once seen Alex give before. It made both Miles and Matt chuckle which make Alex stick two fingers up at them both.
A minute later you brought back two bottles of Budweiser and your lemonade. You walked to Matt first and handed him his and then you settled yourself down next to Alex again before handing him his drink and taking a sip of yours.
You let out a sigh of relief before asking, “What was the score?”
“Three - Two to the other team” Matt told you and you laughed.
“Why the fuck you laughing? We didn’t want them to win” Miles said with a grumpy look on his face.
“I wanted them to win” You smiled at him innocently. You were actually pretty pleased with the score; you didn’t like Liverpool FC.
“Why would you want Liverpool to lose? They were the better team the whole match” Miles started trying to get defensive about it.
“I think the loss serves you right Miles” You smile at him, knowing it would wind him up more.
You saw him look to Matt, then to Alex, then back to you before asking “What?”
“Well you’re a bit of a turn coat, aren’t you?… You should have stuck with the one team then I may have sympathy” You shrugged before taking another sip of your drink.
“United are shit. Why would I have stayed supporting that” Miles tries to defend himself.
“Doesn’t matter Miles, if they are your team then you stick to it. I’ve not stopped supporting despite the shit they sometimes play” You say sticking up for yourself.
“Woah, I thought you supported Wednesday like us?” Alex asked you with a confused expression.
You nod at him. “Yeah I do… I still go to some home games but I’ve gotta have my Prem team and its always been Man United because of my Dad” You explain.
Miles however obviously wasn’t over it and said, “What a load of bullshit. Do you even watch football?”
“I’ve literally just said that I go to Wednesday games” You smirk at how angry he was getting over it.
Miles then started swearing under his breath as he looked back towards the TV and you were really trying to stop yourself from giggling. You looked to Matt and noticed he was doing the same and then you looked to Alex who had his lips pressed together obviously trying not to let his humour show.
“Look Miles you do you okay? I just don’t see the point in just supporting people who are doing marginally well or have money. I just think if you’ve got a team, stick to it through good and bad” You explain before ending the conversation off with lying back down and using Alex as your pillow again.
As you lay on your back you let your smile slip as you looked up at Alex when you could hear Miles really trying not to bite back. Alex looked down at you and his own smile that he was trying not to let out showed through which made him bring a hand up over his mouth to cover it. You smirked up at him both now silently laughing.
You pressed your hand over your own mouth as you heard Miles get up from his seat. You shared a look of amusement with Alex before you stopped briefly when you saw Miles come over to you both.
Miles lent over the sofa and slapped your forehead which caused you to jump and then hold you head.
“Dickhead” You called him.
Before he left your presence, he clapped a hand down on Alex’s shoulder and said, “She’s all yours mate”
You didn’t know what that was about, but it made Alex stick two fingers up at him and Matt laughed at the whole ordeal.
Your head started banging again which wasn’t fun when it sent your stomach a bit west again. You sat up again for a minute and had a sip of your drink again hoping that would settle it before you curled yourself up into a ball on the sofa and put your head back on Alex’s pillowed lap.
You moved the pillow that lay there a little bit to accommodate your comfort. You let out a sigh of relief feeling a little better, but your head was still a bit sore thanks to Miles.
“You comfy?” Alex asked you with a smile.
You turned yourself over to look at him for a minute before nodding. “Yeah... give me a magic hand Al” You smirked.
Alex grinned down at you before putting his hand down in yours. Needless to say, he wasn’t surprised when you placed his hand on the top of your head prompting him to continue playing with your hair like earlier.
Alex obliged and gave you what you wanted but as you went to put your earphones back in again, he said “I’m not doing this for free. Let me listen to something too”
You rolled back over again and trapped his hand underneath your head to ask, “What do you wanna listen to?”
“I don’t know something that you’ve been listening to… that’s not me” Alex smiles.
“That’s difficult, finding something that you’ll actually like” You say as you scroll through your spotify.
“Why you got One Direction on there or something?” Alex teased.
“Yeah. And what are you gunna do about it Alex?” You shot back.
He just laughed at you before saying, “Absolutely nothing, but please don’t make me listen to One Direction for hours”
“I’ll find something” You smiled before putting an earphone in your ear and giving Alex the other one. He took it from you with a smile and put it in his ear as you rolled yourself back over.
This time you weren’t facing Alex, you were facing the TV instead so you could keep yourself awake whilst you listened to the music. Alex watched as you brought Spotify up on your phone and brought all the albums up that you usually listened to.
Your music taste ranged a lot. You liked to keep with the times, but you also loved some of the old stuff like what you knew your boys in the room listened to. But one album you really loved listening to currently and that was The 1975’s album.
You pressed play on the self-titled album and put your phone down and Alex started trying to listen to it. He couldn’t really hear anything, so he reached for the buttons on the earphones and turned it all the way up.
You smiled at his actions and you relaxed again. You started to aimlessly scroll through your phone when you got bored of the new match that the boys were watching.
If it wasn’t a team you knew, you really weren’t that interested. But you guessed from the guys living over here they had become acquainted with the teams and the players, so it was bound to keep their interest over yours.
As you scrolled through your phone, you forgot that you hadn’t messaged your best friend yet, informing her about last night. You worked out the 8-hour time difference in your head and knew she’d still be up, so you messaged her straight away.
I got a shag last night x
It was on snapchat and within a minute your best friend sent you a video of herself literally screaming which you could just about hear over the loud music.
Just as She Way Out ended, and Menswear started, you could hear the screams more clearly. And when your friend started squealing words you could hear it.
“Oh my god. Y/N I’m so proud, how was he? How was it? What was he big? I need to know everything” She rambled on the first video and you chuckle.
You were about to double tap on her name to reply but then you saw another video come through.
“Oh wait, oh my god, I forgot who you were with. Please please please tell me you shagged Alex and not some American boy. Because if so, I’m so fucking jealous but very happy for you at the same time” She said as she pleaded to the screen as if it was actually you.
You chuckled a bit before taking an ugly selfie of just your face and you typed out the caption:
I’m not that lucky. It was just some American boy x
You sent it not even thinking as Menswear kicked in and Matty’s voice took over your senses again. You closed your eyes once more and waited for the next message to come through.
You were that relaxed that you’d forgot that Alex had an earphone in and heard everything your friend had just said. Upon being very confused by the squealing Alex had looked down at you and noticed it was a video from your friend.
The first video made him want to laugh, but the second he wanted to see your reaction. He watched as you took a picture of yourself and he saw you type back your reply and he was over the moon.
Alex silently observed your whole conversation after that. Just hoping for a little bit of information that gave him an insight into how you felt and if it would be a good thing to ask you out.
And by the way your friend kept setting you up for answers Alex wanted to know, he felt a bit calmer about asking you out at some point whilst you were here.
Your friend had replied to you with pictures of herself now and typed over it.
Aw no that’s not the news I wanted to hear. I wanted to get the inside scoop of what his dick’s like!!!
Alex felt you chuckle at that before taking a picture of your tired self again and replying:
You will be the first person to know if I ever find out 😂👀
You friend replied pretty quickly after that.
For your sake I hope you find out on your holiday. I know how much you want a piece of that 😏
That made Alex heart beat faster. Was she trying to say that you actually did want to shag him? And if you actually did want to shag him that gave Alex hope.
Not that he wanted you for just that but if you wanted to sleep with him, a relationship wouldn’t be too far out of the picture. He hoped anyway.
You know me ahha😂 if not this time then I’ll have to pray to god that he doesn’t find someone before I turn 30. Then I can marry him and have all the sex I want 😏💍🥳
The relief Alex felt as he watched you type that message out was like nothing he’d experienced before. The fact that you mentioned the pact and it actually sounded like you wanted to stick to it was a relief in itself, but if Alex could snatch you up a year early that would be amazing news.
Your friend replied:
Horny bitch. If you move out there when you marry him I’m definitely coming over xx
You immediately sent back:
And you try and shag my husband? Absolutely not!!!
At that Alex really had to stop himself from chuckling. Possessive over him already and you were even together.
Come on Y/N you’ve gotta share. We could threesome it? Then you don’t feel left out xx
You sent a picture back of yourself with an appalled face and you typed out:
Absolutely not!!! You can have Miles or some American boy x Not sharing something I’ve waited god know how long for! x
You friend replied with a picture of herself with a very pleased face and the caption read
I will happily shag Miles Kane. Could have a foursome though then we can both be happy? And Alex and Miles would definitely be up for that xx
You actually cringed at that thought of Miles coming anywhere near you. After this holiday definitely not. All he gave you were annoying older brother vibes now that you’d spent a lot of time with him.
He was a lovely guy, but you really didn’t want him near you in that sense anymore.
I’m not shagging Miles Kane over Alex Turner you psycho! (And I’ve already asked about them on stage. They are just the best of buddies. Definitely haven’t shagged 😢😂 ) And besides Miles fucking hates me today but I’ll happily set him up with you. He’d be up for that 😏xx
Your friend replied:
I’m not saying have Miles over Alex. I’m saying 4 in a bed and we could all be very happy xxxx
You messaged back immediately turning down the idea straight away.
Absolutely not. You and Miles can have a completely different bed. I’m locking my man away from you.
Y/B/F’s next message came through a minute later and she made you silently laugh with her reply.
You’re boringgggg!!!!!
You type back:
I’m not boring. Just stop trying to shag my husband. You can have your own x
You type over a picture of yourself but then you double tap to turn the camera around and pick your head up off of Alex’s lap to take a video of Miles.
You zoom in a few seconds on him before he looks in your direction and sticks his finger up at you. You chuckle saving the video before sending it to your best friend.
You settle again in Alex’s lap as you wait for her to open it. You feel Alex’s fingers find your hair again and you love the feeling of him dragging his fingers through it.
Her message comes in and it’s a picture of her with a smiley blurry face. Obviously too excited to keep her phone still. Her caption read:
Wow x Why did that get my heart racing? Lmao where’s your man? I swear I only saw Matt near Miles then xx
At that Alex looked back up to the TV where he should have been looking for the past 5 minutes. He notices in his peripherals that you’ve flicked your wrist and are doing the same thing you did to Miles.
Alex looks down and notices the camera zooming in and out on him, so he smiled at your antics. Alex then watches as you send off the video and he returns his eyes to the TV for a second like he’s paying attention, but he quickly pays attention to your phone again.
Why is he a fucking Greek god?!?!?!? Also why the fuck were you videoing from that angle?!?!!!?!?!?!! Are you sucking him off in public? If so I’m so proud xx
You chuckle a bit at that before you click off it and go onto camera again. It’s pointing at you already, but you nudge Alex’s leg with your free hand to get his attention.
You move your phone so your both in the picture and you both smile when you take it. You type back:
Again not that lucky. Maybe if Miles ever went home😂
She replies with:
Omg is he playing with your hair because that’s the cutest shit ever if he is xx
You smile as you reply to that one.
He is x Got him whipped already x Bring on the wedding bells xx
Her reply is instant:
Please you’d like him to whip you x
And she wasn’t wrong about that either.
Wow. You feeling a bit kinky? Do you want me to ask Miles if he’s into that? xx
And you couldn’t help but smile as you opened the message off Y/B/F knowing she’d definitely want you to ask.
Well if you’re really not sharing Alex then yeah x
You giggle at that before you turn the music down a bit before looking up and asking, “Miles are you into BDSM?”
You see both his and Matt’s heads whip round with a puzzled expression. You guess it was a bit random. They were in the middle of watching a football match and you were asking Miles about his kinks.
“Where the fuck did that come from?” Matt asked you completely confused, and you heard Alex laugh behind you.
“I’m just wondering?” You shrugged.
Miles then grinned at you and said, “Tell you what Y/N, I’ll tell you if you tell me what you’re into”
“Fair enough. Go on then” You smile as you crane your neck up so you can see both Matt and Miles with more ease.
“Yeah I would be down for that if someone wanted it” Miles nods.
And you can’t help yourself but ask him, “And you’d be what? the dom or the sub?”
At that Miles scoffs at you as if you’d offended him by asking.
“Dominant obviously… But someone who’s a little feisty can’t hurt. Makes things more fun” Miles smirks at you and your pleased with that answer.
You had to stop yourself from squealing at that point. Y/B/F will be over the moon.
You immediately start typing you your reply on your phone, but you get interrupted before you can finish your sentence.
“So, go on then, what’s yours?” Miles asks you.
You slowly carry on informing Y/B/F on the new information about Miles as you say, “Oh I’d be down for a bit of choking”
“You like to be choked?” Matt asked you as you rolled onto your back again. Adjusting your pillow that lay on Alex’s lap as you did so.
“Yeah it’s good” You nod still concentrated on your phone.
“Wow, you and Alex have loads in common then” Miles said, and you couldn’t help but smile at that.
Your eyes flicked up to look at Alex’s and you saw him sending a death stare at Miles.
“It’s okay you don’t have to be angry at him. It’s not like I didn’t already know about that one” You tell him as you send Y/B/F the message with a smile on your face.
“And how would you know that?” Alex asks, looking down to you still lay on his lap.
When you make eye contact with him, he looks rather confused about how you’d know that information but to you it was just obvious.
You furrow your eyebrows as you put you turn the volume down on your phone and then throw it on your blanket.
You tell him, “You’ve literally told the world that Alex. It’s in your songs”
“No it’s not” Alex says looking at you as if you’ve just told him a joke he didn’t understand.
You half laugh and half scoff at that comment, “Please. What’s the lyric... ‘I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck’ you may have a well have just said ‘oh by the way just choke me please’” You said as if it was obvious.
Alex comes back with, “Could just mean that I’d still love her if she tried to kill me”
At that you let out a loud laugh.
“Alex the chorus is literally you imagining whoever playing with themselves waiting for you. Don’t you dare try and tell me you don’t have a thing for choking because I won’t believe you” You say before you pick up your phone again.
Before you even put in your passcode though, Alex asks “Does everyone actually think that?”
“Yes” You laugh, putting your phone back down. “Why do you think when you went all leather on everyone, everyone started drooling over you?” You ask.
“Because they want a bad boy in a leather jacket to choke them mid shag” You inform him.
“I don’t believe that everyone thinks that. Surely not” Alex says shaking his head, looking from you back to Matt and Miles who are just grinning at him.
“Do you want me to get proof?” You offer before pausing the music completely.
Alex nods, “I mean sure because I think it’s just you with a dirty mind”
“I mean you’re not wrong, but you literally sing about a girl fingering herself over you and you expect me to not think the rest of the song is sexual…” You pause looking him in the eye.
“Not happening Al” You say before picking up your phone and giving the device your attention as you say, “Anyway let me phone my friend and she can tell you what she thinks it means”
You all stay silent as you unplug your earphones and put the phone on speaker as it starts ringing. You notice that one of the other boys has turned down the TV too so you know that they must be interested in the answer too.
Thankfully it’s not too long before Y/B/F picks up, “Heyyyy how’s the holiday going?”
You smile hearing your best friends voice again “Hey, it’s really good thank you”
“And how’s the lovebirds” She asked you and you could practically hear her grin down the phone.
That’s how the both of you referred to Alex and Miles because their bromance was better than most love stories.
You laugh at that before saying “They’re fine”
“Awh good. Fucking cuties”, she coos.
You can’t help but smile, “I know they are adorable. But I’ve got a question for you…“
“Ooo okay go on” She says sounding interested.
“Okay so you know 505?” You ask her.
She’s silent for a second before asking, “Did you really just ask if I knew the song we literally play on repeat?”
“Shut up you know what I mean” You try not to laugh, and you start playing with the edge of the blanket at a thread that was coming loose.
“Right go on, yeah I know the song” She chuckles.
“You know the lyric ‘I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck’?” You question her.
“Ugh yeah, the best fucking line in the song” She practically groans.
Your smile widens and you ask, “Yeah, what do you think it means?”
Y/B/F laughs at your question before saying “It means that Alex Turner is a kinky fucker that wants someone to choke him. But Jesus I hope he’s be down for choking someone too and not just getting choked. Get me a bit of that”
You can help the laugh that escapes your mouth and you hear Miles and Matt start laughing too and Alex gives you an unimpressed look. You grin at him because your point’s been proven.
“I told you” You tell him as you look into his eyes.
Alex shakes his head, “Nah I think you’ve both just got your head in the gutter”
“Alex you literally wrote a whole fucking song about a sex position and having sex with someone. I’m not having it that the one like in 505 wasn’t sexual”
“What song?” Alex asks you, clearly not understanding which song you were referring to first.
“If you’re on about She’s Thunderstorms I agree. I love that dirty song”
He shakes his head at you, “It’s not a dirty song”
“Alex... Just listen to me right now. You literally say in that song, ‘lying on her front up against the wall’ then later you say, ‘sounds as if she’s pretty close’. You even allude to her bringing your dark side out so stop denying it. Wouldn’t be surprised if you choked the girl whilst you had her against the wall at this rate” You tell him.
“You sure do read a lot into our songs Y/N” Matt says.
You shake your head, “I don’t. I just listen to the lyrics”
“A little too much if you ask me” Alex tells you and you shake your head at him smiling. He was infuriating.
“Wait am I actually on speaker talking to Alex Turner?” You friend interjects before you can reply to Alex.
“Yeah Matt and Miles are here too” You smile, still buzzing that your points been proven.
“What the...” She starts but then you hear a muffled squeal.
You shake your head embarrassed by her, “You’re a mess. How do you ever think I’m going to let you meet them if you react like this on the phone?”
She comes back to the phone and says, “Just let me get it out over the phone so I’m not a fucking freak in real life”
“Oooo go on let her” You hear Matt say.
You shake your head, “No”
“It’ll be funny” Miles argues Matt’s point.
“Ugh fine” You say knowing it will more than likely end in your embarrassment.
You instruct her, “Right you’ve got a minute to say whatever you want to them, nothing about the love birds though because apparently that’s not real… Start now”
You hear her panic for a second as she starts but she quickly gets into the swing of things.
”Oh, god, okay, well Alex I fucking love your voice. Your singing and song writing and guitar playing is amazing and I’ll never be over it no matter how many shows I go to. Which will be like forty-eight if you ever decide to write another album again. Hurry up please we are dying over here” She says dramatically which you all have a little silent chuckle at.
“Matt Helders” She announces as her next victim. “I love you so god damn much it’s a joke. I love watching you play the drums and I don’t know why but I just do. I literally forget to sing along at the gigs because I’m trying to figure out how you do everything so fast. You’re amazing honestly best drummer out there” Y/B/F says, and you know that that one in particular came from the heart.
“And Miles Kane. Holy fuck, you are amazing... I love you singing, playing guitar, even just you smiling at the crowd at your gigs. I’ve been to loads… I went to a Rascals gigs back in the day and I literally have the Puppets album on repeat most of the time and Y/N can vouch for that” She says, and you nod your head.
Alex smiles down at you and you smile back up at him. You put your thumb up in the air signifying to Miles that she was telling the truth and Alex silently chuckles at that which causes you to as well.
“So yeah, I just wanna say thank you for creating the best music ever because you guys are literally most of what I listen to and I would die happy if I was listening to your music” She finishes off and your pleasantly surprised that you didn’t get embarrassed by that obvious rollercoaster of emotions.
“That was poetic Y/B/F I agree with it all” You smile.
‘Thank you’s were sent her way and she seemed to return to normal then. Maybe she did just need a release of the emotions.
After that you go off speaker to talk to her properly for a little while. You’d not caught up properly in a couple of days, so you got it out of your system in this phone call.
However, the topic obviously turned back onto the fact that she wanted to shag Miles. Your laughs and giggles could be heard in the room, but they weren’t bothering anyone as you were keeping control of yourself.
Alex smiled hearing most of them. You had such a funny laugh and when you were smiling away it just seemed to make him happy.
Reminded him of simpler times when you were in your music lessons with each other and you would just make each other laugh to keep yourselves distracted from the impending coursework.
“Do you want me to ask him?” You smiled, asking Y/B/F.
“I mean I do, but don’t because that’s embarrassing if he says no” She says shyly down the phone.
“Miles when your next in Sheffield do you wanna shag?” You ask him with the phone kept to your ear.
“You bitch” You heard her say which made you grin.
The room was silent for a moment before you heard Miles say, “Well Y/N we could just go upstairs, we don’t have to wait until we’re back in Sheffield”
“Ew no I meant do you want a shag? Not shag me” You say, your eyes widening realising your mistake.
“Did you just say ew to shagging me?” Miles asked you, sounding slightly offended.
But you had no doubt in your mind if you turned and looked, he’d have a smile on his lips.
“Yeah because I don’t want to shag you” You furrow your eyebrows as if it was obvious.
“Then why are you asking me to shag ya?” Miles shot back.
“I’m not I’m asking for my friend” You told him shaking your phone at him.
You chuckle as you hear Miles reply, “Depends. Is she fit?”
“Oh yeah” You told him, and she laughed on the other end of the phone.
“What does she look like?” Miles asked you.
You describe her to him, and she gives you pointers to pass on to him. You tell him what your told and the next thing he asks is, “Do you have a picture?”
“Of course I have a picture of her” You smirk and giggle and your friend starts squealing down the phone.
“Miles go on Instagram and type in...” You start but Miles stops you because he hasn’t got his phone out yet.
Once he’s got it and he opens the app, you tell him to type in her username and he has a scroll for a few seconds.
“Miles fucking Kane just followed my Instagrammm” She screamed down your ear and you giggled at her reaction.
“He’s liking my photos Y/N/N, what the fuck is happening? I’m hyperventilating” She starts and you keep chuckling.
“Miles I think you’ve made her day” You tell him as you put the phone to your chest, so she won’t hear you outing her.
Not that she could hear over her squeals anyway but just in case.
“She still on the phone?” Miles asks.
“Yep” You tell him.
“Put her on speaker again” He instructs, and you bring the phone back to your ear.
“Erm Y/B/F… Miles wants to speak to you. Can you manage that?” You say looking around before your eyes connect with Alex’s again and you both smile at each other.
“Holy fuck. Yes yes. Ah Y/N how do you cope being in a room with these people?” Y/B/F asks you.
“It’s pretty easy” You say as you take the phone away from you ear and you press speaker.
“They just become fucking annoying after a while. You can get bored very quickly” You say as you sit up and you put your phone on the arm of the sofa next to Alex.
“You’re in a room with Miles Kane and you’re bored. Grow up and get over yourself Y/N” She says through your phones speakers.
“Wow I like her already” Miles smiled at you.
You let them chat for a little while and it quickly turns flirty. You were always envious how she could practically flick a switch and she was ready to flirt in a second. In real life you couldn’t do it that well, but you always got your practice from over the phone with Alex.
And you guessed from last night, he just brought out that side of you from the amount of times you kissed.
Soon enough the conversation you, Alex and Matt were overhearing became too much for others to be hearing. You lean over Alex and pick up your phone from the arm of the sofa.
“Right enough of that” You interrupt their flirting. “I can’t booty call him if you carry on” You smirk towards him referring to your joke at the bar.
Miles puckers his lips at you and blows you a kiss and you chuckle as Y/B/F says over the phone sternly, “Don’t you fucking dare”
“Why not he promised me a good time? You’r-“ You start, but your joke is soon interrupted.
“Absolutely fucking not. You can’t have everything… Over there staying in Alex Turner’s house. Matt Helders is your best friend and now you wanna shag Miles Kane. Fuck right off” She tells you and you tried not to laugh.
“Jesus, I was only joking. Possessive much?” You joke back to her as you put your phone down on your lap.
She scoffs at you, “When you’re literally living a dream I’ve had… Yes. I’m very fucking jealous”
You can’t help but laugh at that comment before asking her, “Well how was that conversation for you anyway?”
“In truth Y/N. I. Am. Wet” She said and the whole room burst out laughing.
“They all heard you say that” You say, and you put your head down on Alex’s shoulder as you both still laughed.
“You bitch, I thought you took me off speaker” She says and you giggle more.
“I never said I did that I just asked you how that was” You tell her as you pick your head back up.
“Brilliant just brilliant. How can we embarrass you whilst we’re on speaker” She ponders.
“Oh, I don’t think anyone’s embarrassed by you admitting that we all already knew. Phone fucking each other with others listening. Terrible” Alex half tells her and half chuckles.
“Was that Alex?” She asks seriously.
You smiled and said “Yeah”
“Fuck” Y/B/F says lowly but then comes back to full volume to plead, “Alex hun, please keep talking”
You chuckle at that understanding her obsession with his voice even though you grew up in the same place as had a similar accent. His was just deeper and gruffer, so you got to enjoy it too.
“Why does every female love your voice. I just don’t understand it” Matt looks to Alex and asks, and you watch as Alex just shrugs with a smile.
Y/B/F comes back with another question, “Was that Matt?”
You again confirm that she was correct, but then she says, “Fuck me”
You hastily interject, “Fuck off he’s engaged and is having a baby. We’ve established you can have Miles. Do not even think about precious Matt”
“Nooooo I didn’t mean it like that I forgot he was there you psycho. You know he’s my favourite” She says, and you can almost picture her face as she says it.
You saw Miles face drop and you let out a laugh, “Miles isn’t best pleased you just said that”
“I mean from the Arctic Monkeys. From The Last Shadow Puppets... Miles you’re hands down my favourite” Y/B/F back tracks.
You knew full well who her favourite was, but you wouldn’t dig a hole for her.
“Absolutely shot yourself in the foot there” Alex chuckled.
“Alex Turner shut the fuck up and get choked” Y/B/F shot back, and your eyes widened not expecting it.
Everyone else in the room seemed shocked by it too but your glad Alex found the funny side to it and said back with a smile, “You know I would but there’s not an abundance of people offering”
“Y/N’s into that. She’d be down” Y/B/F told him, and you wanted to hang up there and then.
She knew far too much about your feelings for Alex and this was dangerously close to revealing it. But you knew she was only messing so you’d let the first comment slide.
“Thanks for that” You say looking at your phone disapprovingly as if she could see you through it. “Miles when you go see her make sure you wear a belt. She’ll make use for it”
“You bitch” You hear her try not to giggle.
“Eye for an eye bitch” You laugh back at her.
Matt then comes back into the conversation saying, “Wow women get very aggravated about sex”
“It’s the frustration” Alex said which made you giggle.
You shook your head at him as you got yourself back into your position like before and lay yourself down on your back and rested your head on the pillow on his lap.
“Y/N can’t be that frustrated she only got a shag yesterday” Miles points out and you roll your eyes.
“Y/N how are you not frustrated with all these voices. I’m dying here” She half whispers but you don’t see the point knowing everyone could hear her anyway.
You put your phone down on your chest as you explain, “Well for a start Miles is Scouse so that does nothing for me. Alex’s voice sends me to sleep and Matt just speaks fast like me”
“Alex Turner’s voice does not send you to sleep. I know that for a fact” Y/B/F says.
“Alright then it depends what he’s saying” You say before you look to Alex and smile.
“Oh, I know what you want him to say” She says, and the smile falls off your face immediately as you look back to your phone.
She immediately carry’s on and thankfully doesn’t give time for anyone to question that, “But I agree. Matthew Helders you are amazing. Don’t ever change. But I don’t agree with your opinion on Miles Kane. What do you have against this man?”
You laugh at that before saying “Please top saying their last names. There’s not 5 of them”
“Sorry, like you don’t say Alex Turner about 50 times a day when you’re at home” She says, and you roll your eyes.
“I have about 20 friends called Alex… I have to specify” Which was true, not quite 20 but you had 3 Alex’s that you worked with. A few old friends called Alex, and another was your cousin.
“You don’t have to specify when we’re listening to the Arctic Monkeys” She makes a valid point, but you come back with your own paint.
“Then you don’t have to specify when you’re on speaker and they can hear you talking. You’re so embarrassing” You sigh, half laughing a bit.
Y/B/F chuckles before she gets a bit defensive. “I’m embarrassing. Okay. I’ll embarrass you now when I tell Alex about that time y-“
“Did you just hang up on her?” Matt asks.
“Yeah” You say before putting your phone back down.
Alex chuckles and asks, “Why?”
“Because I don’t know what she was going to tell you all” You say looking anywhere but at Alex.
“Why have you got a dirty secret you can’t share about Alex?” Miles teases you.
“No” You lie. You had a lot.
A minute later you get a message through from Y/B/F and you can see that it’s a screenshot.
You open it and see that Miles has messaged her on Instagram asking:
What were you going to tell Alex? x
You quickly reply: Don’t you fucking dare
But it’s too late you hear Miles laugh. You immediately sit up and take the seat back next to Alex as look over to Miles. Your sudden movements obviously caused Alex and Matt to look between the both of you expectantly too.
“Y/N you’re a dirty girl… You think about Alex whilst you have sex with people” Miles said and your stomach dropped.
You felt ill. You knew exactly what she told him.
“What the fuck has she said to make you think that?” You furrow your eyebrows putting on your best poker face.
“Apparently…” Miles begins to tease. “You had sex with someone whilst you listened to Arctic Monkeys” And with that statement you knew that one of your worst nightmares had just come true.
You keep your poker face pretty well, pretending to look confused as you say, “Doesn’t mean I was thinking about Alex… Could have thought about my sweet O’Malley or you know, the guy I was actually shagging”
“The guy’s name was Alex” Miles drops the bomb on you all and your face drops with it. Miles grins at you knowing it was true then.
“She’s a twat” You say before you actually message her telling her she is one.
“You definitely had sex with some guy and pretended he was Alex” Miles starts going in on you. You hated to be teased about your emotions. Even more so when it came to Alex.
“Stop it, no I didn’t” You squeaked in embarrassment. Quite obviously lying.
“So, your trying to tell us that you didn’t think about him once. Throughout the whole thing” Miles pressed on and you
“His voice was literally in my ear; I can’t say that” You stumble your words trying not to lie but also not confirming the truth.
“Aha whatever” Matt said grinning which caused you to look to him and then you accidentally looked to Alex who was looking at you and you could see he was trying to hold a smile back off his face.
You then immediately start defending yourself, “No it’s not like I put the music on… We were chatting at the bar earlier that the night and he said he liked your music and then I said same and then he put his playlist on when I went to his and it stayed on. That’s not my fault”
They all laughed at you rambling and you wanted to die.
Especially when Miles carried on and said, “Your mate’s outing you here. She said ‘Don’t let her say that she didn’t because she said he was shit and she wanted to make it more interesting for herself’”
“She didn’t just say that to you” You mumbled as you covered your face with your hands. You couldn’t believe you were being outed so badly.
You felt Alex bring his arm around you and you could hear him chuckling as you continued to hide. He pulled you into his side and said, “Awh Y/N if it actually was me you wouldn’t be bored. I can assure you that”
You let out a sigh before you said, “I know. You’d choke me for a start”
You obviously were too shocked to control your mouth because when you realised what you just said you wanted to die all over again. You guessed humour was your defence mechanism in this face.
“You been thinking about it?” Alex teases you.
You bring your head up out of your hands and you know your cheeks are hot when you make eye context with him and joke, “Everyday”
Alex laughs at that and you do too. You rest your head on his shoulder still embarrassed but thankfully your embarrassment is cut short as your phone starts ringing.
“Excuse me” You say as you get yourself out of Alex’s grip and stand up. “Imma just murder my best friend”
You answer the phone and say “You’re a cunt”
She laughs down your ear and as you begin to walk out of the room you tell her, “Tell you what, you won’t be laughing when I fuck Alex, but not only him I’ll fuck Miles and Matt too, then when I get back I’ll phone Jamie and Nick and I’ll shag them too, and you’ll just die alone”
You heard the boys chuckle behind you before you disappeared off up the stairs to your room.
Once they know you’re out of earshot, Matt looks to Miles before telling Alex, “You have to ask her now”
Alex smirks a bit because today had probably given him the best news ever so whilst he’s in an uplifted mood Alex answers, “I will”
And it was needless to say that his answer made Miles and Matt very happy.
About 15 minutes later, you returned down the stairs still on the phone and you sit yourself back down in the seat next to Alex. He notices you don’t look quite as flustered, but you also couldn’t quite keep the smile off your face.
“So, tell me about this American boy, what was his name? What was he like? Did you get his number?” Y/B/F beings to pry about last night’s antics.
“He was called Sam. And no, I didn’t get his number because he was a shitty guy” You tell her putting your phone down on your lap again.
“What? He wasn’t a good shag?” You best friend asks slightly confused.
You shake your head smiling as you look down at your phone. “I didn’t say that, he just was rude after” You say.
“In what way?” She pays.
You eyed Matt and Miles who were listening to you and you had to redirect your answer, “You know that guy who I met in the bar when we went to Manchester?”
“Oh yeah. Fucking prick” She says and your thankful she remembers so you don’t have to explain.
“Well it was the same sort of thing” You tell her, your smile disappearing for a moment.
You can almost envision her sympathetic face as she says, “Aw shit Y/N/N, I’m sorry”
“It’s okay. Least this one was actually a decent shag” You try and look on the brighter side of the situation.
“Well that’s good at least. So, tell me what happened then? What did he do? I need dirty details” She asks you getting excited, and your about to start telling her before you realise who you’re around.
You look up and look around the boys before asking them, “Do I need to leave, or will you guys just try and overhear me if I tell her in the kitchen? Because I’d rather just tell you instead of you earwigging”
“I wanna know” Miles chirped in and Matt nodded. You then looked to Alex and he smile at you and shrugged.
“Okay then” You smile before looking back down to the blanket that lay over your knee once more. There was no way you could tell her his story if you were looking at them the whole time you did it.
“So we were at the bar and we were flirting for a little while before he asked if I wanted to go somewhere quieter” You say and you could already hear her squealing at the end of your sentence.
“And you said yes because you’re a horny little minx” She helps you out with your story and you just giggle accepting her comment as she gave them.
“Yeah, so he took me up the stairs and led me into the staff room and then locked the door behind us” You gave her the details knowing she would want them.
“And then…” You paused for a second trying to figure out how to describe it to her “Then, Y/B/F, you know in Fifty Shades where he pushes her against the lift, and it’s fit as fuck?”
“Yeah” She practically gasped and you can hear her getting excited and you smile.
You giggle and say, “Well yeah he did that and pushed me up against the door and was kissing me like Christian Grey, so I was thinking holy shit this is going to be fun”
“I love it already” She giggled and so did you.
“It gets worse before it gets better” You inform her as you play with the thread on the blanket.
“Oh god no” She says, and you close your eyes feeling a tad embarrassed by it, but you carry on.
“So yeah he did that, but I had my drink in my hand, so I obviously drop it and it goes all over the floor and smashes” You tell her.
“Shit” Y/B/F says.
“Yeah so it went everywhere but he’s still getting off with me so I can’t do anything about it. But it literally went all over the bottom of his jeans and he was a little bit fuming because he got slightly rougher… but I was not complaining” You end up breaking out into a full grin.
“I bet you weren’t” Y/B/F interjects, and it causes you to giggle as you raise your eyebrows as if you were innocently trying to brush it off.
“So yeah anyway after that he moves me away from the smashed glass and-“, You tell her but she interrupts you.
Y/B/F guesses, “Wait wait wait, let me guess you give him the best blowjob the guys ever had?”
“Well that is what they all say but no, this guy didn’t get special treatment” You continue to laugh, before you now start cleaning your phone screen of the finger marks, you’d left on it.
Anything to take your attention away from what you were telling her.
“Awwww” She complains. “Would you have made him wait or would you have been nice to this one?”
“Am I nice to any of them?” You grin playing with a pull string at the top of your joggers.
“No, you’re a nasty tease” She says which causes you to smirk.
“Well then there’s your answer. I’d of definitely made the dickhead wait though” You laugh.
“But yeah anyway, so there was a sofa in the room and he practically throws me on it, which was fun. And yeah after we got off a bit more”
“Oh yeah I can see where this is going” Y/B/F says in a knowing voice which makes you grin.
You laugh at her but then you look up from your phone and realise where you are again. You look to the 3 men surrounding you and feel your cheeks heat up again as you start nervously giggling.
“I forgot who I was telling this sorry in front of” You say, hiding you face with you free hand.
Y/B/F boosts your confidence though by saying, “Embrace it. And it gives Miles some pointers for when he shags me because we like the same stuff because we’re practically the same person”
“You’re on speaker you idiot” You tell her as everyone around you chuckles.
“I don’t need pointers love I’ll just fuck you till you can’t move” Miles calls to Y/B/F but your jaw drops.
“Ew I was just briefly attracted to Miles Kane” You cringe a little but say loud enough for Y/B/F and the rest of the boys to hear.
At that your friend laughed and Miles got offended again, “What is actually so wrong with me?”
“Nothing Miles, you’re fine your just more of an uncle knobhead to me” You tell him in the kindest way possible.
“Daddy to me” Y/B/F said down the phone and your eyes went wide and you gasped a little bit.
Miles smirked and Matt and Alex started laughing loudly.
“Fuck me, I’ll fly her out here right now” Miles says before pulling down on the neck on his top as if it was suddenly too tight for him.
“Yes” Y/B/F cheers “Then we can foursome now you’re down Y/N” She says and you yet again want to die.
“For fucks sake” You say at the same time that Miles asks, “Foursome?”
Matt looks around you all with wide eyes. Alex just has an amused smirk on his face.
“No Y/B/F. Stop trying to shag me” You joked to your best friend.
She scoffs laughs, “Please, you know who I wanna shag”
“Wait who’s in this foursome?” Miles asks you, seeming very interested.
You shake your head as you tell him, “This foursome isn’t happening, but she wants it to be you, me, Alex and her”
“Oh yeah” She says down the phone and you shake your head as if she can see you.
“It’s not happening” You tell her sternly.
“Why not? Milex is definitely real and If I’ve already shagged Miles at that point and you fake shagged Alex once and you just found Miles fit then, then what’s the real difference” Y/B/F says as if any of that is enough to endorse the foursome.
“The difference is I’m not shagging my best friend with The Last Shadow Puppets” You tell her.
But then Matt points out., “I think you mean you’re not shagging The Last Shadow Puppets with your best friend”
“Who put a penny in you?” You asked him with wide eyes. He was not helping your situation.
“Just wondering where my invite is?” Matt said with a smirk.
You shook your head at him, but Y/B/F got a tad excited saying, “Fuck me. Matt you were invited all day, any day! Bring Breana too because she’s fucking beautiful”
“For fucks sake, how did this go from me getting a shag to us planning a sixsome?” You interject trying to make sense of everything.
“Give the people what they want” Y/B/F tells you.
You say in a stern voice, “No”
“Oh fuck off. You actually spoil things. Alex choke her to death” She tells him, and you want to again die when you make eye contact with Alex and he grins at you.
At this point, you just closed your eyes and buried your head in the sofa.
“Anyway” You say loudly trying to get back on topic.
“Yes, anyway, you were about to get head off barman Sam” Y/B/F announces.
“Yeah I was” You chuckle knowing she’d know.
“And how was that?” She asks you and you open your eyes and look at your phone as if she was there before telling her.
“Pretty good actually, he knew what he was doing” You say smiling, but then you looked up to see the guys smirking at you.
“Fuck, right, I’ll tell you more about that when I get home” You close your eyes again not being able to stop smiling.
You could practically see her pout as she asked, “Aw no why?”
“Because I’m being stared at by the boys” You said as you opened your eyes to see them all still grinning at you.
“They’re just jealous” Y/B/F tells you.
You laughed at that and said “Well yeah anyway, after that we started shagging on the sofa but that obviously wasn’t good enough for him, so he picked me up mid shag. And I was thinking ‘oh my god where are we going’ and then he started fucking me against the wall”
“Ahhhhhh I’m so jealous” She squeals down the line.
You shrug but smile at your phone, “I mean you shouldn’t be; he was a prick after”
“You know what I mean. Just jealous of you having sex” Y/B/F tells you and you chuckle.
Miles then chips in and asks Y/B/F, “Are you sure you wanna shag me and not Y/N?”
“I mean the foursome sounds good but no Miles, I’ll take you over her” She betrays you.
“Wow, I see where your loyalties lie” You say in an offended tone but you’re grinning.
She scoffs back, “You’d rather shag Alex over me so you’re a bitch too”
“I mean yeah, he’s male for a start” You furrow your eyebrows, but don’t look to Alex.
Y/B/F comes back in a slightly offended tone with, “You don’t know what I can do with my fingers and my tongue”
“Yeah but I’m sure Alex has had plenty of practice with his fingers and his tongue” You half flirt as you look up to Alex with a small smirk and you like watching the smirk appear on his face as you continue to tell Y/B/F, “And I am perfectly fine not knowing what you can do with yours thanks”
Matt then grabs your attention with his question, “Do you guys always talk about sex like this?”
“Like what?” You ask him.
“Tell each other everything?” Matt confirms.
“Oh yeah, she knows what I like more than I do” You nod with a grin.
“And what do you like Y/N/N” Alex smirks, as if he didn’t already know from what you asked each other on the phone the past few years.
You’re about to flirt back but Y/B/F gets there first, “Well you could say that she likes her gentlemen not to be gentle”
You burst out laughing at that because if your honest it was completely true. For both you and her.
Matt groaned at the clear reference, Miles bursts out laughing too, and Alex could be heard chuckling away.
“You never told me by the way” Y/B/F says as the laughter dies down.
“Wait let me guess... You’re gunna ask ‘was is a Mecca dauber or a betting pencil’?” You guess.
“Yeah I fully was as well” She tells you and you laugh.
“For fucks sake. You are never meeting my friends” You shake your head looking around all the laughing boys.
“I mean we’ve just arranged a sixsome so I will be doing” She says and more laughter comes from Matt.
“Nope” You assure her.
“Yes”
Before she can carry on your say, “Bye Y/B/F”
“Wait no you never told us” She calls through the phone making you pause.
“Told you what?” You ask thinking you’d missed some part to your story.
“Mecca dauber or a betting pencil? I’m guessing Mecca because you enjoyed it” She tells you and you laugh before murmuring a few profanities under your breath that only Alex seems to hear as he chuckles a bit.
“Hey, it’s not about the size, it’s about what you can do with it… Isn’t that right lads” You say completely deferring from answering the question.
“You said that like any of us have small dicks” Matt says narrowing his eyes at you as if you’d offended him.
You were taken aback for a brief moment before saying in a helpless tone, “Well I don’t know, do I?”
“Well we can assure you none of us do”
“Okay first, I didn’t need to know that. And second, do you perv on them often Matt?” You can’t help but smile at the latter half.
“Fuck off” Matt says before sticking two fingers up at you. “Being on the road for however many years means you see a lot of shit Y/N”
“I went on the road with you, you dickhead. You were all fine then, I didn’t see anything” You say recalling some fond memories of you being on the tour bus with them.
Matt nods sarcastically “Yeah that was because you were there. We actually made a bit of an effort to keep ourselves decent around you”
You roll your eyes at him. “Oh, such gentlemen” You say sarcastically.
“Bet they aren’t gentle though” Y/B/F chips back in quickly which causes everyone to laugh.
“For fucks sake” You giggle as you look around at the laughing boys.
When you’re all settled again, Y/B/F asks, “So how was the rest of the night anyway?”
“Yeah it was really good” You nod as if she could see you. “All fun and games” You tell her as you look around the stunning room you were in again.
Y/B/F confirms with you, “You were all on the pull, right?
“Yeah” You tell her.
“Amazing. How many people did Miles pull?” She asks nosily.
“None as far as I’m aware, but he left a bit earlier so that’s fair enough” You say and Miles nods to you and you smile back.
Y/B/F carries on prying, “Yeah that’s fair enough. How many did Alex pull?”
“Ha, just the one” You can’t help but giggle.
You cover your mouth quickly though silencing yourself as he looks to you with raised eyebrows.
Y/B/F asks excitedly then, “Oh my god did you beat him? How many people did you pull?”
You let out a little laugh before you say, “Two”
“Does that include barman Sam?” She asks you.
“Yeah” You then laugh again but you look away from Alex. God, he makes you so nervous in the best way.
“Why are you laughing? Was the other guy better pull or something?” Y/B/F asks you.
“Yeah the other guy was pretty good. I recon I gave him the best pull of his life” You giggle as you look to Alex and he’s smiling with his eyebrows raised.
Miles started laughing at that and you couldn’t get the grin off your face.
“Why didn’t you shag him then?” She asks confused and you again laughed before hiding your face into the sofa again.
“Because I threw up when we both got home” You laugh still hiding in the sofa. You hear Alex laugh at that too which makes you feel a tad better about your joke.
“Wait what!?” She asked and you could tell it just clicked in her head.
You continue laughing just before she said, “Y/N are you telling me tha-“
But you interrupted still laughing saying, “Right Y/B/F I’ll text ya later. Love you, byeeeee”
“Y/N did y-“ She started before you hung up on her.
“Jesus Christ” You sigh throwing your phone onto the sofa in between you and Alex.
“I wanna meet her” Matt says, and you shake your head.
You chuckle, “After that never”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Taglist: @the-girl-before @murderousginger @minigranger @turnertable @bastillewolf @slothgiirl @billskarsgard-is-gorgeous @watashi-no-namae-wo-yonde @fookingsummertime @coolpunkrockgirl @marvel-avengers01 @peakymoon1985 @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo @gretavanbobatea @chocolatecig @iamnotjesha @rachaeljayne15 @edgythought @when-the-darkness-comes @angelicnobody @marveious @stelle-ms @woodhousesemma @edinbaraaaahhhh @ilove1dandmagconn @musicmania100 @he4rtbre4khotel @innocte @tomsbeck @whoknowswhatimeant
Let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged x
Other parts can be found in Masterlist in bio
#alex turner x reader#Alex Turner#alex x reader#alex arctic monkeys#alex#turner#arctic monkeys#alex turner imagine#alex turner fanfic#alex turner blurb#alex turner x y/n#alex turner x you#alex turner fluff#alex turner fic#arctic monkeys fanfic#matt helders#jamie cook#Nick o'Malley#miles kane#tlsp#whatever people say I am that's what I'm not#favourite worst nightmare#humbug#suck it and see#AM#tranquility base hotel and casino#whatever people say I am#tbhc#the age of the understatement#everything you've come to expect
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You don't have to answer this one if you don't feel like it cause i'm just gonna spit a thought out but
I think i figured out what my biggest pet peeve with this whole internet purity culture 2.0 is.
Not that the internet shouldn't and couldn't be overall safer and better in many ways but this whole thing is doubling down on mostly porn as if some people forgot this neat little internet rule called "rule 34", if it exists, there's porn of it. The internet isn't made to be and never will be a perfect safe haven for one and all, there are way too many people on it for that, and what these people should focus on is shit like company's privacy invasions and other actually problematic shit. But no. Porn bad.
This is very simplified because it's 4a.m. But yeah.
Okay first of all why the fuck are you always liking all my posts at 4am your time. :p I literally never get notifs from you otherwise, it’s always when I’m up at 1:30am and you’re apparently up at 4. Go to bed. :p
I learned what rule 34 was on Pokefarm, when I was eight, because like everyone in 2008 I set my age to 25 and solidly did my absolute best to convince the internet that it was true. (Being determined gifted in linguistics, which was probably code for ‘likely ADHD’, helped that.) So it wasn’t that big a deal to me, I didn’t care about it and by the time it was actually a problem for me beyond ‘this is what is in the forbidden adult forums’, I’d already found the queer community and happily thought myself ace.
There’s a story here about how finding and being supported by the ace community when I was, in fact, just too young for the sex drive to kick in, was majorly helpful for my development. I always felt like I was average for someone two or three years ahead of me. At 10, I could blend seamlessly in with 13yos. At 13, with 16yos. I could probably go toe to toe with 23-24yos right now. That difference will matter less as I grow older, but as a teenager, it meant that having the defense of ‘asexual’ when I was too young for anything sexual to manifest and then continuing while dysphoria forced that sexual awakening to be much later than it should have been was a very, very good thing.
I would have absolutely gotten myself traumatized if I didn’t have an ‘adult’ justification that matched the age I felt like, not the age I was. I would never have accepted ‘you’re too young!’. IDing as ace until my dysphoria allowed my sex drive to kick in is really what saved me. The fact that the community at the time made it clear that me being ace did not mean everyone was going to respect that also majorly helped. I knew my discomfort and disgust wasn’t normal, and if I wanted it respected, I had to respect that others weren’t that way.
That hasn’t happened with teenagers nowadays. Maybe more of them would’ve been saved the way I was if it weren’t for terfs pitting everyone against ace folk in 2014-2015 or so and utterly destroying the community. Maybe it’s just helicopter parenting, as I’ve theorized before. But either way, they aren’t engaging with their disgust in a way that doesn’t hurt everyone around them, and that’s what’s stopping them from letting people just fuckin exist.
Rule 34 exists for a reason, it’s a warning and a signpost like so many other things. I’m not advocating for how to teach folks to behave online, but goddamn, learning that while I was still on deviantart and I didn’t realize weird Pokemon inflation games were fetishes probably did a lot of good for me. At the very least, it made it easier to just go “yeah okay people are weird and do shit I don’t understand sometimes”.
It’s just how it be. /shrugs
#asks#dragoncat-nezhraya#on shipcourse#it AIN'T but it's related i guess#and I don't really have a tag for this stuff otherwise?#ironically enough i was on rule34.paheal earlier today#trying to track down an entirely sfw artwork I saw there once and never saved#didn't find it though :(
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49. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.” for Jurdan? Please. :)
Sorry this took me forever! I hope you enjoy!!
Drinks and stupidity
Cardan was going to go out and have a “guys night”. Him, Roach, and Ghost were going to go out to a bar and let loose, without their women.
They all told their wives that they were going to hang out. Where? They didn’t tell them that, but they could only assume that they were going to go out to drink.
They called an Uber to come pick them up because, God knows, they will not be able to drive their way back home. The Uber took them to Elfhame’s bar and grill. The big epicenter for a Friday night. The men went up to the bar and ordered the hardest liquor they had.
After getting set at the bar with their drinks, Cardan spoke up, “I bet you two will get drunk before I get drunk.”
Roach snorted. “Son, I have 7 years on you. That won’t be happening.”
Ghost peaked in, “It’s on Greenbriar. Whoever gets drunk first, pays for all.”
Cardan rose his brows. “Deal.”
It was shot time. Each man would take a turn shooting a shot of liquor down. After seven, Roach still looked unfazed, Cardan started to slur, and Ghost was feeling light headed.
After five more shots, Cardan went to stand and fell. Ghost and Roach started laughing.
“Guess you, Greenbriar, are buying the rounds.” Roach muttered.
Ghost mumbled for Cardan’s advantage, “If it makes you feel any better, I thought you would be gone a long time ago.”
Cardan put a half- faced smile on and slurred, “I’ll be able to beat you one day. Although, probably not you Roach, I’m pretty sure you’re an alcoholic. You just don’t know it yet.”
Roach chuckled at that. The men were not joking about wanting to let loose. They drank and drank until they forgot their first name. Well, Roach was only a little tipsy. But Ghost and Cardan were totally wasted.
Cardan and Ghost were on the dance floor slow dancing with each other, saying they were only doing it with each other because their wives weren’t here and if they did it with any other women, their wives would kill them. Or at least Jude would kill Cardan.
And you better believe Roach took this great opportunity to record them on his phone for blackmail in the future. This was the best thing he has seen in a while.
They danced some and then went back and drank more, which was not good because at one point Ghost threw up all over somebody. They got mad. Cardan didn’t like the way he spoke to Ghost so Cardan punched him. Well, lo and behold, Cardan got punched back.
Roach separated them and told the bartender he would take care of him. By taking care of, he meant that Cardan was no longer allowed to have anymore drinks if he was now going to be an angry drunk. Cardan got mad and went outside for some fresh air. And by going outside, he basically had to hold onto everything so he wouldn’t fall.
Cardan sat outside until he got bored so he stood back up on wobbly legs and started walking. Where to? He didn’t know. He just wanted to go somewhere.
—————
Roach and Ghost decided to leave around 1:30am. They suspected Cardan to be outside asleep somewhere. It had been 30 minutes since they last saw Cardan. When Roach went outside and Cardan was nowhere to be found, he cursed under his breath. He had a taxi take the Ghost back home and Roach decided to walk around on his own wobbly legs, albeit not as bad as Cardan’s though.
After 30 minutes of searching, he decided to call Jude.
“Hello.” Jude sleepy voice came through the phone.
“Hey Jude, it’s Roach. Have you seen Cardan by any chance?”
A pause. “Uhh, no. He’s supposed to be with you. Have you really lost my husband?”
“Yeah, yeah I have. He went outside to get some fresh air and when I came to get him, he was gone.”
Jude groaned. “Well it’s 2 in the morning. Find my husband and bring him back to my house. Now.”
“Yes ma’am.” Nobody wants to be on Jude’s bad side. You better just follow her orders rather than face her wrath.
—————
It became 3 in the morning faster than expected and now Jude was really getting worried. What happens if he fell asleep on the side of the road? What happens if he was not in his right mind and went home with someone? What if he got beat up somewhere and left to die?
Jude’s worry caught up with her. She put shoes on and grabbed her keys. She was going to drive around and see if she could find him. He couldn’t be too far, could he?
She opens her front door and there he is. Sleeping on the stairs of their front porch. She was mad. Really mad.
“CARDAN GREENBRIAR!” She yelled in a whisper tone.
He looked up and smiled at her, “Hey Jude, dear, I was going to come in the house but I got too tired and decided to nap on the stairs.”
Jude rolled her eyes. She helped him stand up and brought him into the house. She led him up the stairs into their bedroom. She got some pajamas out for him and helped him out of his clothes. No intimacy about it.
“Cardan, you’re an idiot. An absolute idiot.”
He still had that content smile upon his stupidly, beautiful face. “I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”
Jude had to fight down a smile. “That may be true, but do you know how much you worried me? I thought something really bad happened to you.”
“Don’t worry dear wife, nothing bad is ever going to happen to me.”
Jude pushed him down on the bed and covered him up. Like a five year old. She called Roach back to tell him she found him on the porch step.
Roach answers back, “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I have this video of Cardan and Ghost slow dancing with each other if you want me to send it to you?”
“Yes, oh my gosh, yes I need to see it.”
Roach sent it and she had to try seriously hard not to laugh. But she couldn’t help it. She started hysterically laughing. Cardan turned over to look at her. “What are you laughing at?”
Jude put her phone on the nightstand beside her and sunk down on the mattress. “Nothing. Go to sleep, Cardan.”
Cardan wrapped his arms around her. “Love you Jude.”
“Love you too, Cardan.”
Jude could not wait for Cardan to see the video. She can’t wait to tease him about it. She would never let him live this down.
Tag list:
@ummmcutie @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @afexiss @roseygirl25@mi-mavencalories @spideygirlstuff @deargreenbriar @b00kworm@thequeenofeveything @munchycow @aesthetics-11 @booksrmee@akaloto @hauntedfreakdeputyhero @hurema @dorkzrul@curlyredqueen06 @tanaquilpriscilla @queen-of-glass
Let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the tag list.
#jude x cardan#tfota#the cruel prince#the wicked king#cardan greenbriar#jude duarte#jurdan#jurdan fanfic#tfota fanfic#the folk of the air#abigail writes#cardan x jude#king cardan#queen jude#the queen of nothing
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Name 3 things you want to buy from the store soon.
Some more microwave meal things I like to have on hand for easy lunches, some snacks, and more coffee.
Name 3 of the best DIY youtubers.
I don’t watch any DIY YouTubers.
What color shirt did you wear yesterday?
Black. Majority of my shirts are black.
Are you sick right now?
Yes.
Do you get sick frequently?
Yes, but not with like colds and flus and whatnot. I actually rarely get those, thankfully. I just get/feel sick in other ways all the time due to health reasons.
When was the last time you had the stomach flu?
It’s been a few years. Not fun.
Do you see rudeness online daily?
I don’t spend much time in the comment sections anymore on things to be honest. Otherwise, I definitely would see rudeness daily. People are brutal.
Do you wish your life were better than it is?
I wish my health was better that’s for sure. That’s the biggest issue I have that affects everything else in so many ways.
Who is someone whom you want to ask questions?
No one comes to mind.
What is something you have a hard time grasping?
Life?
What is something God is teaching you right now?
Patience and trust for sure, but also I think this is meant to be a time to build my faith and relationship with Him.
Do you try to sell old clothes online?
No, I haven’t done that but I’ve thought about it.
^And if yes, have you had good luck with that?
--
Do you think of life as holy?
It doesn’t seem that way when you see all that goes on in the world with violence and hate.
Would you ever want a super-realistic baby doll?
No thank you. Those are suuuuper creepy.
What is one question you want to ask somebody?
--
Do you prefer pineapples or cacti?
I don’t have a preference or interest in either one.
Elephants or llamas?
Elephants.
Rainbows or fairies?
Fairies.
Mermaids or dragonflies?
Mermaids.
Ladybugs or bumblebees?
Neitherrrr.
Name one thing you could do with a pinecone.
Put some cinnamon scented oil or something on it and use it as decor during Christmastime. I’ve bought some before and they smell SO good.
Have you ever seen a gigantic pinecone before?
I don’t think so.
List 3 places you'd like to visit.
I need a beach trip ASAP, Hawaii, and Sweden.
Do you own a hula skirt?
No.
Do you encounter rudeness on facebook often?
I don’t, no.
What is the last book you read, what was it about, and was it good?
I’m currently reading, “The Girl and the Unlucky 13″ by AJ Rivers. It’s the 13th book in a murder mystery series that I’ve been really enjoying.
List five good names for girl twins.
Nah.
List five good names for boy twins.
Nah.
What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
Starting my relationship with God.
Have you ever tried to impress anyone?
I’m not impressive.
Has anyone ever accused you of being gay?
Not that I’m aware of.
What's a secret that you've never told anyone?
It’s a secret.
Do you wish you knew who cared about you or had someone who did?
I do have people that care about me.
Do you wish you could talk to someone you could trust right now?
I have my family to talk to if I need to.
^If yes, what would you say?
--
Are you wondering if a certain person cares about you?
No.
What facebook groups have you found the most helpful?
Bible study groups.
Do you correct grammatical errors when you see them?
Mentally, yes.
Did your mom ever own a typewriter?
Probably.
Did you name all of your stuffed animals and dolls?
No.
What would you have your bridesmaids wear?
I don’t plan on getting married.
Where do you want to go on your honeymoon?
--
What is the best date you've ever had?
Cafe and bookstore dates with Ty.
Are you sick right now?
Yes. You asked this.
Do you gargle with salt water when your throat is congested?
I’ve never done that.
Do you feel loved?
Yes.
Do you like your butt? Why or why not?
What butt? ha.
List 3 pet peeves you have.
Eating sounds, ice clinking against the glass, and being told to calm down or chill out.
List 1 favorite pizza topping.
A new favorite is cilantro.
Is your floor clear?
Yeah.
Do you wear a watch every day?
I never wear a watch.
What do you think of people who wear a cross necklace every day?
I don’t see a problem with that.
Are you ashamed of your faith?
Not at all.
Have you ever felt ashamed of your faith?
No.
What is it that you believe in?
I’m a Christian.
Has anyone ever tried to force their beliefs on you?
Yes.
Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia?
No.
Have you ever been accused of being homophobic?
No.
Have you realized that what people accuse you of is true of them?
Not always, but I’ve seen many instances where that was the case.
Do you find it strange that people who live in a bubble think they don't?
They’re in a bubble, it’s all they know so it’s hard to see otherwise.
Do you think you'd be happier if you had a pet?
I have a doggo. <3
Who was the last person you went on a date with?
Ty.
How long has it been since that last time you went on a date?
It’s been a few years now.
Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?
Nope.
Have you ever been pregnant?
Nope.
Are all of your friends having babies right now?
All my Facebook “friends” seem to.
Do you think babies are cute?
Yeah.
What is your favorite style of pants?
Leggings. I live in ‘em.
List five trends that you follow.
I don’t even know what’s trendy anymore. I’m super out of the loop.
List five trends that you haven't caught onto.
*shrug*
How old were you when you first got a cell phone?
I was 16.
What is a health problem you had in the first grade?
Scoliosis.
Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid?
Yes, several times.
What's your favorite way to curl your hair?
I don’t curl my hair.
Do you ever put curlers in your hair?
No.
Name someone you miss.
My grandparents who have passed away.
Name two people you love.
My mom and brother.
Are the birds chirping today?
Not at the moment, it’s 3:30AM.
At what age did you start swearing?
In high school, but not much. I’m still not one to curse a lot.
Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)?
My mom. Ha, you didn’t say apart from a parent.
Do you have memories of going to church when you were little?
Yes, I went sometimes with my grandparents.
What is something you physically can't do?
Walk...
Have you ever been put in the wrong section in a choir?
No.
What time zone are you in?
Pacific.
Favorite day of the week?
They’re all the same to me.
What was your favorite day of the week as a kid?
Friday of course. It was “Fun Friday” at school and also pizza day, plus it meant the weekend, which was super exciting as a kid. I miss those days. :(
Have you ever been a victim of substance abuse?
No.
...spiritual abuse?
No.
...emotional abuse?
No.
...mental abuse?
No.
....physical abuse?
No.
...sexual abuse?
No.
...sexual harassment?
No.
....bullying?
No.
.....another kind of harassment?
No.
....persecution?
No.
...hate crimes?
No.
Do you have any true friends?
I have my family.
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re last reblog (cw vomit, drinking):
my best friend and i used to regularly make something we called "demon juice" which is 1 liter of mountain dew (- a cup), a cup of vodka, a packet of hawaiian punch kool aid, and jolly ranchers.
the last time we made it together was like 2 years ago, in which we drank the entirety of that + whole pitcher of "sangria" aka a bunch of the dregs of random alcohol he had left and some juice.
i got WASTED and then we went to sleep at like 2am. i wake up at 3am literally vomiting down my front. i dont mean i wake up and then vomit i mean i wake up mid puke all down my front (i was on my side) and all over the bed. (he had a day bed i slept in when i stayed over at the time so i wasnt in bed with him thankfully) if i remember correctly i just stayed there until i felt i was done and then got up, took all my clothes off, stripped the bed, and then as i was still EXTREMELY DRUNK, put all of this in his bathtub to rinse the puke off. so now i'm naked in his bathroom, shower on just getting the puke covered bedding filled with water and his tub stops up from the chunks.
i wrap one of his towels around me (the one time i didnt bring an extra set of clothes over ffs) and walk to his room where he's asleep. i'm like "hey b dont get up but how do i make your bathtub drain" he ignores me and gets up and like a true bro simply plunges his hand into my like wrist high puke water in the tub and scrapes the puke away from the drain.
eventually its 4am and we've got the bedding into trash bags along with my clothes, i cleaned out the bathtub with paper towels and then showered (he let me borrow some clothes), and then his roommate at the time wakes up. she bleaches the tub LOL and then we go sit in a parking lot at 4:30am in his car calling every laundromat listed near us on google to see if they're open. every single one is not a laundromat anymore or doesnt answer.
finally his mom calls him at like 5am and he's like oh thank god you're awake can we come do laundry someone nudge nudge partied a little too hard and she's like yeah sure. so we go to his mom's house and do the laundry and pass out together in their guest bedroom, and then wake up at like 8am. i had the worst hangover i think i have ever experienced, and he had to throw away a pillow bc i got puke on it.
anyway i don't drink super sugary things like that anymore JLFKDAJSFK;LASDJF.
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Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)
11.09 PM Unknown Number
>I’m writing songs about you again.
11.20 PM Unknown Number
>its stiles btw.
>in case you deleted my number
>I did.
>I mean I deleted yours.
>but I still remember it apparently
11:41 PM Unknown Number
>I only have 2 lines so far
11:57 PM Unknown Number
>I bleed you from my veins.
>I grieve you like I love you.
>alone.
>its better with the chords.
>u were always better at writing lyrics than me
12:34 AM Unknown Number
>u were better everything than me
2:00 AM Unknown Number
>I hate that I miss you
2:07 AM Unknown Number
>do u want to hook up?
>I promise not to propose again
2:15 AM Unknown Number
>im sorry.
>ignore me.
>im drinking
Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.
What the hell is a Stiles?
2:17 AM Unknown Number
<I think you have the wrong number
>Lydia?
<no
>oh thank fuck
>I mean
>I’m sorry
>for disturbing ur sleep
>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this
>bullet dodged right?
>is this what near death experiences feel like?
<I wouldn’t know.
>of course
>hey
>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?
>all my friends are asleep
<probably because its 3am
<everyone’s asleep
>2.39
>and ur not
>asleep that is
>so?
>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead
>what do you think?
>of the lyrics
<im the wrong person to ask
>never experienced heartbreak?
<no
<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me
>oh
>yeah I guess it does
>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?
<do you want to be rupi kaur?
>sure
>not to be dramatic or anything
>but
>I want to be anyone but me
>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho
<regina spektor?
>singer/song writer
>shes my fucking inspiration
>her lyrics are like poetry to me
>you should listen to her music
<I dont really listen to music
>what the fuck?
>are you an alien?
<no?
>nice fucking try ET
>thats exactly what an alien would say
<…you got me there
>akdjfen
>is this you admitting I was right?
<no
<but this is me going to bed
<because its now 4AM
>already?
>fuck
>ive got an early start tomorrow
>good night random stranger
>and thanks
>for listening
>or reading ig
<good night
//
“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.
“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.
Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.
“Didn’t sleep well.”
Derek hated the look she gave him then.
The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.
“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.
“No.”
An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.
Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.
But this was enough.
It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.
//
2:40 PM Laura
>I’m here if you need to talk.
//
Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.
So instead he doodles.
Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.
Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.
But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.
//
10:18 PM Unknown Number
>I don’t remember it anymore
<You have the wrong number again
>No
>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?
<right
>So here’s the thing.
>I always thought if I needed to text her I could
>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk
>But I can’t remember it anymore
<Oh.
>I have some of her things still
>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now
>Unless she messages me first
<When did you two break up?
>Last year
>and I know what you’re thinking
>’it’s October’
>and I should be over her by now
>Trust me I know
>So you don’t need to lecture me
<I wasn’t going to
>Oh
<Stiles?
>That’s weird
<what is?
>I forgot I told you my name
<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.
>you’re right
>I don’t like it.
>but you’re right
>…thanks
<What for?
>for listening
>reading**
>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain
>so this is nice
<sure
<anytime
>dope
>no take backsies
<am I going to regret this?
>for definite
>you’re stuck with me now
//
That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.
//
Stiles keeps messaging after that.
Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.
Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.
He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.
//
Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.
He’s not above admitting he’s scared.
//
Derek draws Stiles sometimes.
More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.
Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.
The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.
//
They don’t always talk about Lydia.
Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.
Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.
Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.
Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.
And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.
//
2:02 AM Bad Poet
>sometimes I feel like too much
>and too little
>at the same time
>u ever feel like that ET?
<not really
>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless
>like a never ending echo
>or a recurring decimal
>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it
>I have no depth
<youre not meaningless
<you’re a rhythm.
<like breathing
>…
>was that a regina spektor reference?
<it might have been
>I thought you didn’t listen to music?
<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry
<so I thought I would check out a few songs
>well fuck
>what did you think?
<she’s good
>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong
<I still prefer poetry
>of course you do
Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.
Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.
//
10:30AM Bad Poet
<my sister bought me flower seeds
>I didn’t know you had a sister?
<she’s everything I have
>oh
<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow
>…with flower seeds?
<yes
>you sound extremely paranoid
>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?
<shut up
>noted.
>keep me posted on how your gardening goes
>also
>as a side note
>you know you have me too right?
>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you
<thanks
>anytime
//
On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.
She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.
Once their family had been so alive.
And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.
They both knew it.
Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.
He was too scared to ask.
//
That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.
And then several more followed.
//
1:14 AM Bad Poet
<seh haars me
>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again
>try spell checking before hitting send
<she.hates mee
>who?
<larn
>are you drunk?
<yeh
<tyongs ndrf
*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*
The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.
“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”
“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”
“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”
“Laura.”
“Who’s Laura?”
“My sister.”
“Oh.”
“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”
“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”
“She should. I can’t be fixed.”
“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”
Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.
“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”
Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.
“What?”
“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”
“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”
Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”
“Th-thanks.”
Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.
Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.
“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”
“Yeah.” Derek agrees.
“Goodnight bud.”
“Wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.
I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.
“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Thank you.”
Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.
“Stiles?”
Stiles hummed in answer.
“Your shape is beautiful too.”
A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”
//
7:50 AM Bad Poet
>how are you feeling today?
<better
>good <3
Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.
He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.
But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.
Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.
But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.
//
Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.
//
9:48 PM Bad Poet
>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?
>don’t feel like you need to say yes
>I just enjoyed talking to you
>and hearing your voice
>ugh.
>why are words so hard?
<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call
*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*
“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.
“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.
Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”
“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.
“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”
“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.
“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”
Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.
“It’s Derek.”
“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.
And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.
//
Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.
//
The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.
The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.
6:42 AM Bad Poet
>you need to talk to your sister
And Derek knows he’s right.
//
It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.
But he forces himself to take the dive.
“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.
Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”
“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.
If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.
If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…
There never would have been a fire.
Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.
“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”
“I might as well have.”
“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”
The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.
He found himself crying to.
“I’m so sorry, Der.”
Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.
They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.
//
He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.
He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.
“Hello?”
“No - Derek’s asleep.”
“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”
“Who is this?”
“Your voice sounds familiar.”
“Right.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Derek let sleep over take him once more.
//
2:29 AM Bad Poet
>sorry for calling so late
>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow
//
9:07 AM Bad Poet
<sorry, I was really tried
>no worries man
>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me
<was something wrong?
>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten
>im fine
>how are you?
<im good actually
<I spoke to Laura
>yeah?
>I’m proud of you
>how’d that go?
<we both cried
<a lot
<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch
>look at you, opening up and shit.
>think I might cry now
<shut up
>literally never
>better men have tried and failed to silence me
//
2:40 PM Laura
>Want to see a movie on Friday?
<sure
//
One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.
“Duhreek.”
“Doreck.”
“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”
“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.
“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.
Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.
“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.
He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.
“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”
//
Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.
//
He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.
He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.
He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.
He wants.
//
1:58 AM Bad Poet
>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?
>maybe not intentionally
>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know
>maybe we already have
Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.
<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?
<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you
>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)
<I think id still know
<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?
<of me
>dkfajd
>for reals?
>you would do that?
>you?
<well…not for free
>there’s always a catch
>what do you want?
>my soul?
>a blood debt?
>you can have whatever it is
<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too
<geez stiles
The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.
>I could do that
>a photo for a photo
>I kind of look like shit rn
>so no judging me
Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.
And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.
But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.
He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.
As he pressed send another photo came in.
Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.
His heart stopped.
Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.
But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.
>Fucking hell
>are you for real?
>you gave me a heart attack
>am I being catfished right now?
>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?
>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?
>Derek
>oh my god
>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit
>still there?
>did my selfie scare you away?
>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis
>Derek?
<still here
>of thank fuck
>so…
<so?
>come on
>your going to give me a complex
>the selfie…was it okay?
>I know it’s not much
>but we can’t all be greek gods
<its beautiful
<you’re beautiful, stiles
>oh
>thanks
//
Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.
//
9:49 AM Bad Poet
<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend
<this is all your fault
>how is this my fault?
<because she never wanted to introduce us before
<and then you got me to talk to my sister
<and now she wants me to meet him
>…and this is a bad thing?
<yes
>because?
<I don’t make good first impressions
<it’s going to be awkward
>yeah probably
<you’re not helpful
>I wasn’t trying to be ;)
>have fun, Derek!
//
Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.
Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.
But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.
Maybe not all change was bad.
//
Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.
“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”
“I know.”
God did Derek ever know.
But Stiles is different.
“Just…be careful.”
“I am being. I promise.”
Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”
“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”
“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.
//
Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.
‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.
A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.
//
It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.
She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.
“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.
“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.
“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.
It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.
Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”
Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.
No.
She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…
“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”
“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.
“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”
Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.
“It’s him.” He manages to get out.
“What are you talking about?”
“Laura. It’s him.”
It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.
“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”
“What?”
“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”
And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…
The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.
And it all falls apart.
//
It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.
11:08 PM Bad Poet
<you’re stiles stilinki
>fuck
(And yeah, it was really him).
>how did you find out?
<Laura
>I was going to tell you
<Were you?
>Yes
>I’ve wanted to for ages
>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up
<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner
>Me too
>I’m sorry
>Please don’t hate me
Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.
<I don’t
>Thank fuck
>seriously
>can I call you?
<sure
Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.
“Hey.”
“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.
“I believe you, Stiles.”
“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”
“Stiles.”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.
“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.
“What?”
“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”
“Stiles…”
“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”
Derek feels his heart break in two.
“Stiles…I can’t.”
“Oh.”
He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.
“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.
“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”
I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.
There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.
It was better for him to just… fall out of love.
//
6:17AM Laura
<it’s really him
>are you sure
<I’m sure
>what are you going to do?
<nothing
>Derek you’re in love with him
<I’m aware
<it doesn’t matter
<it wouldn’t ever work
>I’m sorry
<don’t be
<I’m going to be fine
>Im coming over with wine
//
That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.
When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.
//
He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.
Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.
He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.
//
He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.
It’s still not enough.
//
1:11 PM Bad Poet
>I wrote you a song
>I know you don’t listen to music
>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link
>bad poetry at 2:00am
The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.
“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”
The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.
When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.
He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.
//
3:00 PM Laura
>have you seen the video?
<he sent me a link
<he wrote a song for me Laura
<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me
>fuck
<what do I do?
>what do you want to do?
<I don’t know
>I think you should look at his twitter
<?
>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him
>but I think you need to see it
>@stilesstilinki
//
@stilesstilinski
I want to hug him
@stilesstilinski
Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything
@stilesstilinski
Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.
@stilesstilinski
He makes me want to write poetry
Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.
He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.
And Derek falls impossibly more in love.
He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.
And everything else?
It’s worth it.
Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.
//
2:00 AM Bad Poet
<so I looked at your twitter
>fuck.
>how much did you see?
<all of it
>tight
>please excuse me while I go die now
>bye
<don’t leave yet
<I had something I wanted to ask you
>did you want me to delete the tweets?
>I can do that
>I’ll just delete the whole account
>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem
>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy
>but I’m a close second
<stiles?
>yup?
<Will you go on a date with me?
>alkdjf
>yes?
>Ofc yes?
>are you being serious?
>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious
<I’m serious
>yes.
>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.
>holy shit
>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you
>im so fucking in love with you
>is it too soon to say that?
>I don’t even care
>I’m speaking my truth
>you obviously don’t have to say it back
>im going to woo you so hard Derek
>you’ll have to love me back eventually
>I’m going to write you poetry
>hell I’ll even read poetry for you
>ill give the whole fucking moon to you
<why would I want the moon?
<im not gru?
>despicable me
>that was a despicable me reference.
>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?
>you’re such an enigma to me Derek
>god I love you so much
<stiles?
>too much?
<no
<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you
<I love you too stiles
<so much
<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up
<I might not be able to live up to it in real life
>impossible
<seriously stiles
>I am being serious
>I’m already in love with you Der
>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done
>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all
>and I would still be in love with you
>all you have to do now is show up
<…I can do that
>perfect
//
TWO YEARS LATER
@stilesstilinski
Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.
#sterek#eternal sterek#what am i even doing?#i just spent the last two days writing this and banging my head against the wall and nothing else#should i write this into a full fic one day?#i probably wont#hope you guys enjoy#sterek drabble#5k words of them being idiots#i cut so much out how is this still 5k?#stiles stilinki#derek hale#laura is the only other character that makes an appearance#im supposed to be sleeping#but here we are ig#texting#wrong number#celebrity stiles
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Top Surgery: What Really Happens pt 2
Tumblr decided I couldn’t put any chest pictures in sorry
See the first guide for details about getting ready and the pre-op appointment! This guide is about the day of surgery, pt1 is about getting ready for surgery
Getting Ready - Recovery- Drains
My surgeon was Dr. Jerry Chao, who’s based in the George Washington Medical School. If you’re looking for a surgeon on the mid-Atlantic, I would absolutely recommend Dr. Chao. He’s incredibly respectful and does fantastic work. He also does FFS, and breast augmentation, and while I can’t speak for those results, he certainly did an impressive job with my chest. He has a history of working with trans patients, and is really good at avoiding dysphoria-inducing language. It’s clear that he’s genuinely committed to helping you.
Leading Up To The Big Day:
-You’ll get specific details about when you have to stop eating and drinking before surgery, but for me, I wasn’t allowed to eat after midnight the night before, and I had to stop drinking anything three hours before my surgery, which was 10am for me. (Apparently you have to fast because you might aspirate while under anesthesia, which means that your stomach fluids could get sucked up in the breathing tube which is, you know. Bad.)
-My surgery was scheduled for 1:30pm, but they ask you to arrive 2 hours before hand. We got there at 10:30, just to be sure.
- Like I said in the last post, bring something to do while you wait. It’s excruciating to be super nervous and then have to wait for a really long time with nothing to do.
-I’m not kidding about the waiting, once they call you back you change into your hospital gown, and then you wait another 30 minutes. My mom was able to stay with me until they wheeled me off for the surgery itself.
The Medical Stuff:
-The nurse came in to put my clothes and bag in a locker, and then she did my IV. I asked her to move it to my arm, because I’m really scared of anything happening to my hands. She said they do the lowest extremities by default so the tubes don’t get in the way, but you can definitely ask them to move it if it’s uncomfortable. She also put the pulse monitor on my finger, and that just gets taped on.
-This might not be true of other places, but I was specifically in with a bunch of other breast cancer patients who were also getting mastectomies, because it’s essentially the same procedure as top surgery. It made me feel a little dysphoric, but all of the curtains were drawn around people, so it’s not like they could see me or anything. It also meant my hospital gown was purple instead of a drab greenish grey, which I liked.
-About a thousand nurses and doctors come in and out to ask you the same questions over and over. Be ready to read off your legal name (yeah it sucks) like five different times. They have to verify that you’re still coherent and that they aren’t getting their charts mixed up.
-Because the hospital I was at was attached to a med school, some students asked me if I wanted to be in a study for a new device to help place IV’s. It was a good way to kill a couple minutes, but obviously this isn’t standard.
-The original nurse came back in and gave me some pain killers ahead of time, so they’d already be working by the time I was out of surgery, which was a huge help.
-Eventually my anesthesiologist and his crew came in to talk to me about what the medications would be and what they did. One of them put an anti nausea patch behind my ear, which has done wonders. I don’t remember the name of it, but I’m sure you cold ask about it. Then they walked me through the process of what being put under anesthesia is like, but I didn’t actually end up being conscious when they were doing all the stuff they talked about.
-My surgeon came in and marked up my chest. I had a picture here but tumblr decided that an incredibly clinical and objective picture of my chest was too titlating. This is ehere you an ask any more specific questions during the procedure, you can also ask about specific aesthetic things, like nipple size and placement, scar shape etc. Obviously the surgeon knows what’s best, but mine at least was very accomodating.
-After that, the anesthesiologist came back in and put something in my IV to make me really drowsy. By the time we got to the operating room I was already out of it, I vaguely remember them adjusting my arms, but then it was lights out for me.
Recovery:
-Anesthesia really is like time travel, you’re being wheeled out one second and in recovery the next. That was the part I was the most nervous of, just like not being aware of anything happening, but I was too sleepy to be aware of that going in to surgery
-At least in my experience, recovery nurses are always more rude than the prep nurses. (My brother has to have MRI’s all the time so I’ve spent a good bit of time in the recovery room, some how they’re always kind of tactless) I doubt this is true of all recovery nurses, of course, mine was rushing me through the process though. They probably just want people out of there as fast as possible because of COVID.
-I have on a compression vest, which makes my chest feel like the first time I put on a binder. It’s pretty tight, but it forces you to sit a certain way, and it helps the drains, well, drain. I know that some people just get wrapped in ace bandages, but either way, you’ll have some kind of compression on. This is what mine looks like: It’s going to look bumpy and weird with all the gauze on it, so don’t worry.
-I managed to sit up and drink some water right away, and I was just kind of groggy, which was good. The nurse brought my clothes back and I got my shirt on ok, but I was immediately too dizzy to stand right away. I ended up vomiting into the trash can next to me, but it didn’t last and I was able to get my pants on and they wheeled me out.
-The nurse sort of explained the drains to my mom, but we ended up having to look up more information about them when we got home. THIS is the best source I’ve found for it. (Dysphoria warning, it’s a breast cancer site) Like I said, they were rushing. I was officially discharged at 5:30pm.
-I don’t actually have a whole lot of memory leaving the recovery room and getting down to the car, I remember thinking that the nurse who was wheeling me out was going too fast.
-My mom had wisely brought a bag to throw up in, which I did one more time, but then I fell asleep again.
-I was able to get into bed, and the pain killers knocked me out until about 9:30. I had a smoothie, took a sleep aid, and was asleep by 11:30. I woke up really early in the morning to go to the bathroom, and I took another pain killer. I fell back to sleep at about 5:45am, and then I actually woke up at about 9:30am.
Overall, my pain level is super low. I feel sore, but I’ve been able to get up and walk around no problem. Honestly the most uncomfortable thing I’ve been dealing with is feeling my heart beat against the gauze, and that’s just weird it doesn’t hurt. It affects people completely differently though, so I don’t want to imply that minimal pain is the standard. I’m really grateful that this is how it’s working out for me.
I’ll make another post when I get my drains out, and when I can see my chest, but I hope this helps!
#trans#transgender#top surgery#post op#trans health#top surgery guide#smh i had to remake this post lile three times
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So what do you think Feral™ Bruce’s relationship with his kids would be like? Somewhere in my bones I feel that he’d have a better relationship with all of them than in canon, but I wonder what you think! Love your blog, btw!!!
Hello Love!!! Thank you so much for your message! 🥰🧡🧡
I took some time to reflect on this and really think it through, since there are two problems: 1) I only really know about the “fandom favourites”, as in Dick (who I know most about since I used to read the 50s comics as a kid), Jason, Tim, Damian. And thus I felt a little unqualified since I know so little about the girls etc.
2) Rob is 33, which means the Robins would all have to be VERY young. Realistically, I guess, we could assume timeline-wise Jason would’ve died not too long ago? But I’m just going to ignore realism. So, without further ado
Feral Bruce and his Robins
Dick: Bruce adopting Dick makes sense to me, since the grief over his own lost family is so fresh in his mind. He’d lay eyes on this heartbroken child and immediately jump into action. However, due to his age and personality, this wouldn’t have a TRACE of a father/son relationship. Not even close. They’re chaos siblings, with Bruce as the messy rat and Dick as the adoring golden boy. He’s super proud of his older bro and tells others about how cool he is, which everyone 100% buys because it’s Bruce Wayne, of course he’s super cool. They don’t know that Dick’s definition of cool is “he slipped on his own 3 hour old puddle of sprite and did a funny backflip”. Now - as they grow older: I say they’re rather close due to their shared history(&shared grief), and they’re in a way rather similar. Similar fighting styles (both acrobats and very graceful, while Dick is more of a show-off while Bruce is more erratic), similar sense of humour and taste in films etc. I also think they don’t have a dramatic falling out, Dick just fucks off. Bruce is definitely sad about it, but I think he respects Dick’s need for personal growth since he himself isn’t exactly an overbearing cuddly person and most likely shut himself away for a few days at a time in the past. Idk. I think they get each other really well. So yeah, their relationship is def better!!
Jason: Bruce sees a kid trying to hotwire the batmobile and recognises a kindred spirit. Jason pros - he has a lot of that chaotic energy Bruce has. Jason cons - he lacks the grace and self-control. In general, I feel like pre-Joker Jason and Bruce had a rather good relationship as well. Once again not really that father figure thing, though. But Bruce moved up from”chaotic older brother” to “cool older brother” - since he now has a bit of a grip on how to treat teenagers, even though Jason doesn’t take to his rules as well as Dick did (I see many a person interpret Bruce as kind of lenient and clueless, letting the kids run wild and free, and while I agree with the base levels of that, I’m p sure that Bruce in any version is so built on self-control, that he’d impose that on others as well. Strict meal plans, exercises, etc). Jason’s death is a thing I really don’t know how to handle, because Bruce has such a thin skin. Frankly, I don’t know how he’d survive something like that. Grief is terrible and heart-breaking, and I’m not sure how well-equipped Bruce would be. It’s a very, very dark time. Red Hood is another thing. Bruce can barely fight Harvey, so I don’t see how he’d manage to interact with Jason. I honestly think he’d completely pull back from him. I don’t know how they’d heal from that and I’m not sure how Bruce would deal with the core of Jason’s anger. Fighting him is one thing (which he absolutely cannot do), but understanding him and trying to mend what’s broken is another. Very difficult. Very heartbreaking.
Tim: that would just be a mess. There aren’t any real descriptions of Batman, because his contact with civilians/the GPD is minimal and can you trust villains? They say his fighting style is erratic, but can you trust them? Can you believe Riddler, madly gnawing on his hat, when he tells you Batman threw a comically large plush bat at him and then bonked him over the head with a “bat-knocker”?! What I’m saying: Tim figures the “I love the Ritz. I just wish they had soda-fountains. They have the room and people would love it. A fountain of sparkling-cool orange soda in the hall, catching the light and making those nice ambient sounds. That would be glam. What was the question?” - act is an act, but he’s not at all prepared for the actual Feral Bruce Experience™️. He drops himself off on Bruce’s doorstep and holds his whole “I know who you are” speech until Bruce opens the door and the guy is wearing a kilt and a “world’s #1 Bat” shirt, drinking hot beetroot juice and greets him by saying “how the fuck did you get past the sprinklers?” In short - Tim didn’t expect to be the responsible one here. In general, I feel like they’d get along well, still, considering Bruce is so enthusiastic about learning and bettering himself. However, I do feel like his erratic rat-nature would clash with Tim now and then.
Damian: Bruce’s first instinct after hearing he’s a father is to learn how to raise a baby, so he panically throws together a huge pile of Infant Care books from the library, Damian (10+) standing right next to him. That said, he’s very concerned about being a good father figure and raising Damian right. He loves the other boys, of course, but he never really saw himself as their father. This is a new situation for him and he doesn’t feel like he’s up for it. So now he tries to be a good influence, which results in him knocking on their doors at 1:30am all “remember not to drink coffee past midnight!” while holding a pitcher with Earl Grey.
Which brings me to the end note: Bruce is actually a great influence, he’s just not aware of it. He enforces healthy eating habits and a strict exercise routine. He’s got great posture and reminds his boys to sit/walk straight and stretch. He’s very cultured and studious in a very un-pretentious way, setting a great example for the boys.
But most importantly - he’s so true to himself in such an unapologetic way that everyone else feels free and encouraged to be themselves, too. While his eccentric behaviour could be interpreted as self-centred narcissism, he makes it extremely clear that he cares greatly about each and every one of them. He’s incredibly compassionate and they all know that he loves them dearly.
They all learn a lot from him when he’s not looking, and whenever he notices some little piece of evidence for just how much he’s influencing them, he turns into a mess, eating carrot sticks in the kitchen at 2am with big teary eyes while Alfred makes him tea. (Alfred is the real father figure, of course, but he’s insanely proud of Bruce for handling his responsibilities so well and doing so good with his flock of Robins)
I’m very, very soft. Bruce deserves the world. He loves his family a lot, even though he seems to take them for granted or forget about them at times. And they love him, too, although he’s a bit strange.
(So, to make it short: they DO have a great relationship. Just a tiny bit rocky at times, but I feel like this Bruce is less emotionally repressed and thus a lot of issues would fall flat? They know he cares)
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Night FTE - Aeja
I knocked on Aeja’s door. She mentioned that she wouldn’t be sleeping right after the trial, so I figured I’d go see what she was up to. I wasn’t gonna be sleeping easy either.
“Come in.”
Hearing her voice through the door, I twisted the handle and walked inside. She was sitting at her desk in pyjamas, her clothes folded neatly on the bed.
“Hey, Aeja.”
“Oh, Hayden. Good evening.”
I smiled, sitting down on the bed. When she didn't speak further, I decided to speak up.
“Are you ok?”
She hummed, putting down the pen she had been holding.
“Yes, I’m alright. I feel the better question is, are you?”
“What?”
She turned to face me. “I saw the face you pulled when Alexander told you to describe what happened. You feel guilty, right? Guilty that you had to expose him, that you basically sentenced me to death.”
I didn’t respond for a moment, kinda stunned. “That’s... pretty spot on, how did you know all that?” I asked. She sighed.
“I’m pretty good at reading people. When you have a talent that involves copying others, that can also include copying emotions. An involuntary empath, if you will. In other words, I’m just good at reading faces and moods.” She explained. “You shouldn’t feel guilty for this. Alexander was the one that killed Erika, not you. I’m willing to say Karma feels guilty for not picking up on something being wrong. I’m willing to say London feels bad for not noticing the suspicious pile in the corner of his room. We all feel bad. It’s none of our faults.” She told me. I nodded, not replying for a moment. I knew she was right, but it was hard to believe after all that had happened.
“Right... thanks, Aeja.” I eventually replied. She nodded.
“Anytime. I may not come off as the most friendly, but I will always try to make sure others are alright if I can.”
“Me too, if I can. It’s harder when it’s yourself, though.” I replied. She nodded again.
“That’s true. You’re a good person though, I’m sure you’ve been told that before. You were good in the investigation, and you tried to help London through it, which is more than some of us can say.”
“I- wow, you really do pay attention to everything.”
“I try.”
She smiled softly. I laughed a bit.
“So, how have you been? We’ve talked a bit, but not much.” I asked.
“True. Well, I’ve been as well as someone can be in this situation. Certain people are not the nicest, but we’re all just trying to get through it. Personally, I've been pretty ok so far, but I know some people are having a really hard time. Others... well, they’re just trying to socialise, I suppose.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked. She opened a notebook and pulled out a small sheet of paper, handing it to me. It was a small piece of paper, with a small doodle of Aeja and someone else on it. It wasn’t the best, but I could make out Aeja at least. It had some writing at the top, which said “Miss copycat and the leader!!”
“What’s this?” I asked.
“It got slipped under my door earlier, just after I got back here. I opened the door and saw Estrella strolling down the hall, and nobody else was there. And judging by that and ‘the leader’ I can only assume Estrella space it to me. I also assume that’s her.”
Looking again, I could kinda make it out. “Ohhhh... Well then. She doesn’t seem that type.” I remarked.
“Yes, I thought that too. But, apparently she has taken an interest in me. I’m not sure how to feel about it, really, but I suppose it’s fine.” She said. “She’s... interesting, to say the least. She seems a tad annoying, but... maybe I could get to know her a bit more.”
She seemed to be sorta talking to herself, but I replied anyway. “Maybe, yeah. Maybe you should give her something too?”
“Hm... perhaps. I have little to no artistic ability, though.” She responded. I shrugged.
“Let’s be honest, neither does she. You may as well, right?” I said. She considered, then shrugged.
“I suppose you’re right.” She picked up her pen, starting to sketch something.
I spent some time talking to Aeja as she drew. We got a bit closer today.
- - -
This was a Good distraction from what had happened today. The day had been hard, but it was nice to forget about it for a moment.
Eventually, she finished, handing me the page she had torn out of her notebook.
“So, how does it look?”
It was a pretty decent drawing (better than Estrella’s anyways) of her and Estrella, with ‘You’re not wrong I suppose :)’ on top. I laughed, handing it back.
“It looks great. She’ll love it. If she laughs, that’s also good.”
Aeja laughed too, closing her notebook. “Thank you. I’ll give this to her at breakfast tomorrow. What time is it, by the way? My MonoPad is off.”
I pulled mine out (because I’d brought it with me, for some reason) and checked the time.
“Oh wow, it’s already 12:30am.”
“Goodness... Well, we should probably get to bed. You can go if you’d like.”
I nodded, standing up. “Well, goodnight Aeja!” I said as I opened the door.
“Night. Oh, and Hayden?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t feel too bad about today. Guilt is natural, but know you’re not at fault.”
I nodded, smiling. “Thanks. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
And I closed the door behind me.
- - -
Chapter 1; Complete!
Rooms unlocked; Walk-In Closet, Gym
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Cliches, Part 3
As promised, Steven’s annual holiday party! More of the reptile store/bakery AU, Sluff with just a hint of Izzal, lots of fluff and drunken shenanigans.
(Cliches part one, two, check out my masterlist for more!)
🎄🌟🎄🌟🎄🌟🎄
11:30AM, The Friday Before Christmas:
There was always a lull in customers between the breakfast and lunch rushes, but instead of taking a well-deserved break, Duff was used to finding ways to keep himself busy, starting by wiping down the few tables he managed to fit inside his tiny store. Damp rag in hand, he paused at one of the tables to check on the napkin dispenser and of course it was that moment, bent over to reach the dispenser by the wall, his ass in the air and his back to the door, when the bell over the entrance jingled. He spun around at the sound, whacking a table leg with his shin, and instinctively braced himself against the chair behind him when he saw Slash standing in the doorway.
Slash had… a presence, you could say, an aura about him that always seemed to hit Duff like a freight train. It must be the hair and the bulky black leathers, Duff decided, making Slash seem bigger than he really is and absorbing all the light in a room so that Duff’s eyes were always drawn straight to him. Sunglasses hid his eyes (did he really need them just to cross the street to Duff’s bakery?) and his lips were pressed together, but they softened into a tiny smile when he looked at Duff.
“Slash! Hi!” Duff squeaked, then cleared his throat and hoped he wasn't visibly blushing as he scrambled back to safety behind the cash register. Slash followed right behind him, stopping in front of the register with his fingers resting on the edge of the counter. Duff couldn’t stand watching his own reflection in Slash’s glasses, so his eyes wandered as he continued.
“Uh, what can I do for you?” he stammered, staring down at Slash’s silver rings.
“Mm, I just thought I’d drop by and check that you're still planning to come to Steven's Christmas party tonight."
“Oh! Yeah, of course. I am. Uh, I’m looking forward to it."
“Good.” Slash shuffled his feet, a gesture that would have seemed more nervous if not for the pleased little smirk on his lips. “I’ll see you there, then.” Slash took a step back as if to leave, then paused and leaned back in.
“Duff?” The baker froze in mortification when Slash pointed a finger up at the red and green elf hat that Duff completely forgot he was wearing. “Bring that."
*****
6:00PM, Steven Should Really Be Decorating The Bar Right Now:
“Nah, I’m not going to go as hard this year."
Steven snorted in disbelief.
“Yeah right, Slash. Like how last year you said you were gonna take it easy but you ended up jumping off the roof? Or the year before, when you had a flight to catch the next morning but you still challenged Axl to a drinking contest, and then as soon as you beat him you turned around and challenged Izzy?"
Slash grimaced. Steven always tended bar for the first couple hours of the party and was therefore the last one to get drunk, which meant that he had dirt on everybody. Slash resisted the urge to argue that the roof was only seven feet high, and he’d landed on his feet without even spraining anything – it was nothing Steven hadn’t heard before.
“No, seriously…” Slash lowered his voice a little and leaned across the bar, even though absolutely nobody was listening in on their conversation. “…I really don’t want to embarrass myself in front of Duff. It’s his first party with us, you know? He hasn’t seen me drunk off my ass yet and I don’t want to, well, scare him off."
Steven nodded sympathetically, but mentally he was weighing the odds. It was true that Duff was a timid sort, and Steven knew all about Slash’s massive crush on his neighbor. But he also knew that Slash had been going steady with Jack Daniels for way longer than he’s been hung up on Duff. Could Slash make it through a holiday party without getting wasted? Not a fuckin’ chance.
*****
9:30PM, Time (And Liquor) Makes Fools Of Us All:
Duff stepped foot in the building all of two seconds ago and already Slash was latched onto his arm and dragging him to the bar.
“Stevie, Duff’s here!” The party officially started at nine, but Duff suspected that Slash may have gotten a head start on the bottle of whiskey clenched in his fist, if his uncharacteristically cheery demeanor was anything to go by.
“Pick your poison, buddy,” Steven invited with a knowing smirk.
“Uh, I don’t know, something with vodka…?” Duff was very preoccupied by the warm leather of Slash’s sleeve pressing against his side and the barest brush of his frizzy hair against Duff’s neck, but Steven sure got his attention when he slid an unopened bottle of Smirnoff across the bar.
*****
10:30PM, Santa’s Helpers Are Bringing Down The Neighborhood’s Property Value:
Every year, Axl and Izzy responded to their invitation with humming and hawing, as if they just might not be able to make it to the party this time, and every year (fashionably late, of course), Axl strutted into the bar like he owned it and Izzy slunk in behind him like a party crasher trying not to get caught.
Axl was more than ready to get his hands on a stiff drink, but the scene in front of him stopped him in his tracks: Slash and Duff, wearing an antler headband and an elf hat (respectively), equipped with window markers that Axl could only assume Steven had provided, were well on their way to turning the front window into a mural of lewd and filthy and sometimes festive doodles. When they finished, it would surely be a masterpiece to rival the Sistine Chapel, or maybe an issue of Hustler.
“Jesus Christ.”
It was only 10:30, did they really have to get such an early start on the shenanigans? Duff blushed red at Axl’s resigned exasperation, but it didn’t stop him from completing a crude drawing of a dick. The tiny bells on Slash’s headband jingled as he just laughed and added nipples to an (actually quite impressive) portrait of a shirtless woman. Fucking hell. At least they weren’t breaking anything… Yet.
*****
12:00PM, Good Fucking Luck Getting A Turn At The Karaoke Machine:
"Oh, Nikita, you will never know, never know anything about my home. I'll never know how good it feels to hold you... Nikita, I need you so."
As he sang the last words of the song, Axl spotted Izzy slipping away from the karaoke stage, ducking his head to hide the pink flush on his cheeks as he hurried back to the bar. Axl just smirked; Izzy always got embarrassed when Axl serenaded him in public, but he’d be back for more soon enough. Axl thought about following him, thought about getting Izzy even more flustered then dragging him to the restroom for a little fun like they did last year… But there’d be time for that later. For now, Axl wasn’t about to give up his reign as the undisputed Karaoke King.
Duff was sitting at the edge of a booth next to the karaoke machine, absentmindedly sucking on a cigarette and watching Axl pace the tiny stage like a caged animal ready to snap at anyone who tries to stick their hand through the bars, when Slash snuck up behind him with three beers balanced precariously in his hands.
“Watch this,” Slash stage whispered conspiringly as he handed one beer to Duff and then slid the second over to Axl. “Taking requests tonight, Ax?"
Axl sipped his drink and quirked his eyebrow at Slash. “Maybe."
“Well, Duff says he wants to hear some Nazareth."
“I said what?” Duff spluttered, narrowly avoiding choking on his beer, but Slash just elbowed him in the ribs.
“Shut up dude, it’s about to get good!"
Axl rolled his eyes at Slash’s bullshit but he jabbed a song into the karaoke machine and twisted the dial on the speaker.
“Gonna need some volume on this one…"
As the intro to a familiar song started to play, Slash wrapped an arm around Duff’s shoulders in apology. Duff leaned into the touch, and any remaining indignation he might have felt vanished as soon as Axl opened his mouth and started to scream.
“You’re a heart-breaking soul shaker, I’ve been told about you…"
“Shit, Axl can fuckin’ sing!” Duff whisper-shouted into Slash’s hair. Slash laughed, a sound that Duff had been graced with more times in this one night than all the rest of their acquaintance. He leaned up to put his lips by Duff’s ear.
“I dare you to request All I Want For Christmas Is You next!"
*****
1:00PM, O Tannenbaum:
“Hey, what are you guys doing to my – OH. Oh my god!”
A patch of branches on Steven’s Christmas tree was stripped bare of it’s dressings, but Steven couldn’t bring himself to stay angry about the vandalism when he saw how the decorations had been repurposed.
Slash sat cross-legged in front of the tree, very patiently doing his best to keep any drunken swaying to a minimum as Duff carefully wound a popcorn garland around his shoulders like a feather boa. Slash’s hair was sprinkled in gold tinsel, a pair of glass baubles dangled from his hoop earrings, and at least a half dozen more glass and paper ornaments were lovingly nestled in his voluminous curls.
Steven sprinted for the camera.
*****
3:00AM, Come Here Often?:
Slash couldn’t actually remember where he and Duff were trying to get, but it was clear that Duff was having a hard time getting there without swaying and stumbling. Duff was leaning heavily on Slash’s shoulder to stay upright – even though Slash wasn’t doing much better himself.
“Oof!” Duff tripped on something (likely as not his own feet) and tumbled to the side, where he was fortunate enough to land on a sticky leather couch instead of falling all the way to the floor. His arm was still wrapped around Slash’s shoulders, which meant that Slash was also yanked off his feet and dragged by the neck onto the couch where he landed gracelessly on top of Duff.
“Shit, sorry –“ Duff wheezed, sounding like he might have had the breath knocked out of him.
“S’fine, fine… You ok sweetheart?” Slash’s pet-name filter had disengaged completely a couple hours ago.
“Yeah, lemme just… hold on…”
Getting up from the couch seemed like too tall an order, but after some squirming and fumbling they managed a more comfortable position: Duff lay on his back with his knees hooked over the armrest and his hair splayed around his head like a wreath on the cracked seat cushion. Slash was draped on top of him, his forearms on either side of Duff’s head and his thigh conspicuously dipping between Duff’s legs.
Duff suddenly felt a lot more sober as he stared straight up at Slash’s dark eyes. Slash’s hair fell like a curtain around their faces, and the slivers of light that pierced the veil left a gleam in Slash’s eyes that Duff couldn’t quite read. He was nervous as hell, but for once he relished the feeling, that intoxicating cocktail of terror, anticipation, and arousal.
“Duff?” Slash’s fingertips wove into Duff’s hair, the gentlest touch but still enough to hold Duff’s head in place, not that he ever wanted to move.
“Yeah?” Duff was surprised by the thickness of the want in his voice, a low, heavy tone that resonated in the small space between them.
One moment Duff could feel Slash’s warm breath on his cheeks, the next he could feel his hot lips, then his tongue when Duff’s mouth fell open, in surprise or invitation he didn’t know or care.
Duff couldn’t say how long they lay tangled together, Slash’s body pinning him down, his hands buried in Slash’s curls, gasping for air when Slash finally broke their heated first kiss. They each caught their breath and stared at each other’s wet lips, neither sure what to say except:
“Again."
❄️❄️❄️
Steven has a secret box with a secret compartment full of embarrassing pictures of his friends at the Christmas party!
Axl’s karaoke songs are Nikita by Elton John, Hair Of The Dog by Nazareth (also on The Spaghetti Incident) and All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey.
Also, I’d like to formally request a drawing of Slash with ornaments in his hair. (Edit: here!!)
#it's fucking 2:30 in the morning so I really hope I'm still happy with this in the morning#sluff#slash#saul hudson#duff mckagan#steven adler#axl rose#izzy stradlin#didn't get a speaking part this time sorry about that izzy#gnr#guns n roses#this isn't actually that festive go figure#alright imma go to bed#sodafics
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Vivid - Part 4
Masterlist - Series Masterpage
Summary: Have you ever met someone who completely embodies a color? Not an aura, not synesthesia. Just… They walk into the room and when you spot them, you think to yourself, “Wow. That is a walking hurricane.” When Clint Barton serendipitously meets a free-spirited stranger, he sees red.
Chapter: After dropping in on Clint unexpectedly, you are the one left surprised.
Word Count: 2641
A/N: I’m not even going to pretend I didn’t go for the low-hanging fruit of plot points here. Sorry, not that sorry. I grew tired of belaboring series for the sake of ingenuity. It’s fanfiction, not a pulitzer novel. I want to enjoy writing it sometimes.
1:30am was early. Or was it late, technically if you hadn’t slept yet? Too late for most people, at any rate. But not for you, and not for Clint.
It had been that kind of week and you’d celebrated its conclusion with that kind of night. Which had led you giggling and bumbling into the bodega. And that excursion, of course, then led to thinking of Clint so fondly that you decided to drop by his place.
At 1:30 in the morning.
Totally normal.
“Clint!” Your voice clanged through the open windows of his apartment where he had slung himself over the couch with a two year old bag of frozen peas against his cheek.
He bolted upright, waiting as if he’d dreamt it, as if it had been some phantom of the concussion he was now sporting. Natasha stood in the kitchen, stuffing spinach into the blender but perked an eyebrow at him. He ignored her with great effort.
“Clint, buzz me in!” you called again and this time he crawled to the window and peeked just over the sill, fingertips clinging to the peeling wood. “My hands are full!”
He could see now that it was true. You balanced an enormous pizza box on one forearm and squished a tub of ice cream and a 2-litre of coke in the other.
“Shut the fuck up!” a neighbor hollered and Clint cringed, ducking back below the window.
“You shut the fuck up!” You snapped back.
Clint chuckled from his spot with his back to the wall, knees curled to his chest with the streetlight’s orange glow shooting just over him like a failed search-light.
This was one of the things he liked about you, though it scared him: you were trouble, red hot emotion constantly bubbling just below the surface. Sure, you laughed quickly, but you also cried at Finding Nemo, and angered to boiling at the very first offense. His neighbor experienced the full force of it tonight.
“It’s 1:30 in the morning! Go home!”
“Yeah, I’m aware, Greg. Thanks for the time check!” you shouted back. “Clint! Pizza – burning! Ice cream – freezing!”
“This is bullshit,” the neighbor grumbled. “I’m callin’ the cops!”
“You do that! You fuckin’ do that!”
Natasha snorted from the kitchen. “Are you gonna get that or?”
“When they get here, I’ll make sure to mention those neat little five-leaf plants you’ve got in your bathroom window! They’re so green!” You continued your tirade until you heard the sharp buzz of the door unlocking. “And the smell, boy I think a skunk might’ve walked by…!”
“Fuck you!”
“Nice chat, Greg!” you hollered as you tugged the door open with your elbow.
Inside Natasha stood at the intercom with a wicked grin on her lips. Clint buried his face in his hands, elbows on his knees.
“Why did you do that? Ow!” he complained at the pressure of his own hands on his bruised cheekbone.
“Because you didn’t,” she shrugged, propping the door open by the deadbolt. “Were you just going to let your girl get arrested? That is her right? Your secret person?”
“She’s not a secret. She’s also not… my girl.”
“If it’s not a secret why were you hiding?”
“Because it’s almost 2am and you’re here! What do you think she’ll make of that?” he snapped.
Natasha scowled at him. “That I’m your friend. Who’s keeping an eye on you after you got pistol-whipped by a Hulk-sized alien on an assignment.”
Before Clint could complain further you were pushing through the door.
“Okay, I got pepperoni because I’m cheap and let’s be honest; it’s the best.”
He’d jumped to his feet to help you, taking the pizza as you shifted the ice cream and coke out of your arms.
“Pepperoni’s my favorite.” He smiled something soft and warm.
Spending time with Clint always felt like no time at all. Like you were exactly where you needed to be and time didn’t matter. Every last thing felt comfortable and content and you didn’t worry about a damn thing. The buzzing fire in your veins settled to a cool shiver. Your favorite place in the city was standing right there under the relaxed calm of his smile.
“Yeah, I know,” you grinned, finally turning your eyes up to him. The smile dropped as quickly as it came. “Holy shit! Your face!”
“I mean, I know I’m no Steve Rogers, but that’s a little harsh,” he joked.
“It’s a very good face, except for the grapefruit sized bruise,” you cooed, holding his chin and turning his head side with exaggerated scrutiny. “What the hell happened?!”
Finally, your fingers slid over the sides of his neck until they rested on his shoulder. It was just a light touch, just a flutter, just enough to excite a shiver up his neck and over his scalp. Goosebumps prickled across his skin as the only evidence.
“Jerk snuck up on me,” he hedged. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have, so he shrugged and tipped his head, leaning slightly into your lingering touch. “I’ve had worse.”
“You need some ice.”
Despite all his wishing, you released him. Your fingertips still tingled with the scratch of his stubble as you’d moved over his skin.
The second you turned for the kitchen, your racing heart stopped completely.
“I… h-hi,” you managed, eyes wide and frozen on Natasha.
She waved her fingers in a fluid sweep and pulsed the blender on the smoothie she’d been graciously waiting to finish making.
“Did uh…” you murmured, turning to Clint while he lifted to his cheek the pack of frozen peas Natasha had tossed at him not ten minutes earlier. “Did you know there’s an Avenger in your kitchen?”
He chuckled, glancing to Natasha whose brow pinched together slightly for the briefest moment.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, she’s keeping an eye on the…” he pointed to his cheek, to the violent purple bruise blossoming across his skin like the purple-black petals of a superstition iris.
“Uh-huh. Uh-huh,” you answered, eyes back on Natasha, in total awe. You’d seen her on CNN for fuck’s sake. She exposed HYDRA. And told Capitol Hill to fuck off. And not even the deepest halls of the US government knew what else.
Yet here she stood in your friend’s kitchen. At two in the morning.
“She and I… we go way back…” Clint started and stopped. How the hell was he supposed to explain his relationship with Nat? It was well beyond friendship, closer than family. There was so much love, but not the same kind of stomach flipping, tongue glued to your teeth, tripping over your feet sort of love that clawed up from somewhere long forgotten whenever you breezed into the room, all red and alive and gleaming. Either relationship was well beyond words to Clint. Certainly beyond his word bank.
“Oh,” you nodded. Then a moment later, “Oh!”
Natasha caught your assumption immediately and turned to Clint with a sharp look. He was too busy trying to find words that would never suffice to stop the freight train that had just jumped the tracks in your mind.
“I… you guys are…” you stammered, walking backward toward the door and pointing between them. “I just didn’t think you had a um… Well not that you couldn’t,” you laughed anxiously. “I mean, you’re funny and so kind and you’ve got those arms there, and shit,” you slammed an open palm on your forehead. “I’m just uh… I’m gonna go.”
By the time you’d finished rambling you had backed your way to the door with a thumb pointing over your shoulder. Without another fumbled word, you spun on the spot and slipped out.
“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.” Clint complained. With each curse, his forehead thunked against the counter top
“Probably not good for the concussion, Barton,” Natasha chuckled
“That’s alright. A coma would be better right about now anyway.”
There was a light knock before you peeked back inside. Clint perked up and breathed your name, relieved beyond words to see your face again, when he’d thought he’d blown it, lost it already and entirely.
“I’m just gonna…” you took three long strides to the kitchen and swiped the tub of ice cream off the counter before scampering back out with even more haste.
Natasha burst into laughter. Chest full, and dimples deeply carved with mirth. Clint slid to the floor with a groan.
“So are you gonna stop her or do I have to do everything?”
“Stop her how? Say what?”
“Well for starters tell her you’re an Avenger. We’re teammates and frie—“
“She knows who I am,” he grumbled, reaching overhead for the pizza box.
“She knows Clint Barton, the idiot who drinks coffee all night long and eats way too much pizza. The guy who’s always there at two a.m., who makes her laugh, and who apparently has nice arms,” she chuckled.
“Shut up,” he argued with a grin slowly dragging over his face.
“She absolutely does not know what you do for a living.” She handed him the smoothie and he scowled at it.
“I saw her at a promotional fundraiser,” he argued. “She had to know. It’s the only reason I was there.”
“Clint. You were SHIELD first: a spy. Your identity was protected. Then the battle of New York, you mostly kept to rooftops; the media didn’t exactly get any close-ups. You don’t do the press meetings. Unless someone’s looking for Hawkeye especially… you can get away with being a little bit anonymous.”
“Shit,” he mumbled through a bite of pizza. “She said something about there being Avengers at the fundraiser, I thought she was joking! And she totally froze when she recognized you… She has no idea, does she?”
Natasha offered a sympathetic look and a shrug.
“This is embarrassing. How have I never talked about work?”
“I think it’s nice,” she curled up on the floor next to him, stealing a sip of the smoothie. “She just likes you. And you have something outside of the job. It’s good. You need that. We all do.”
He nodded, scooping up another slice of pizza. “I need to tell her though.”
“Obviously.”
“How does she not see it?”
“That you’re Hawkeye or that you’re head over heels?”
He scowled at her and pushed his glass back into her hands. “This smoothie’s gross.”
A week and a half later and Clint had not told you a thing. Instead, he crouched on the edge of the rooftop, peering down at the row of warehouses. Some of them were abandoned. The rest had simply gone still for the night.
Steady fingers spread like a claw over the concrete. Lightly booted feet curled into sharp demi-pointe. If he weren’t in dark leather and neoprene, strapped over and over with sleek pointed weapons and exactly one SHIELD issue handgun, he might’ve looked like a dancer. Clint was always light on his feet, tall and strong in a way that made him agile and lithe.
“Something’s not right,” he worried aloud, clear blue eyes flashing on the small group of giggling twenty-somethings that teetered into the building he was meant to be watching. Abandoned warehouse, one door east and two south of his position.
“Ya think?” Bucky grumbled, watching through the scope of his rifle as the last of them disappeared behind the heavy steel door. The distant ker-thunk of its closing echoed up to his ears a moment later and his finger twitched over the safety. He knew it was in place. Bucky knew his guns like they were permanently attached to his body, but he checked it just in case.
These did not look like the villains they were after.
“That’s the sixth group of idiots in band tees to go in since we got up here.” Clint relaxed by a hair now that there was nothing and no one to see down below. His heels met concrete once more, and he squared his body over his knees. He still looked ready to leap, but less like he was mid-lunge, less like a swooping predator. “It’s supposed to be empty.”
Empty except for the group dealers the Avengers had tracked down. The ones who serviced illegally salvaged alien weaponry out of the abandoned warehouse one building east and two south of Clint’s current perch. The club they intended to lasso tonight in the building that was now teeming with bystanders.
“Only question now…” Bucky dragged the cross-hairs of his scope onto a new group headed toward the building. “Is whether it’s just bad intel, or a set up.”
Clint sighed and turned his attention to the small group as well. A couple of women. They seemed happy. One of them passed something small to another and hopped forward, a small dance in every step. Clint hadn’t noticed he was smiling. It was small and involuntary, the tiniest curve of his lips. The woman threw her head back and held a bottle to her lips, no doubt singing into it. Clint caught a glimmer of color when they passed under a street light and froze.
Red.
“No, no, no, no, no,” he murmured, rapid-fire. This time, crouching further even than before, his fingers curled around the thick ledge of the wall and his feet remained beneath him, arched up on pads, ready to leap.
“What?” Bucky pulled away from his scope, scanning the area for danger, for whatever had Clint so literally on edge. “What do you see?” Eye back on the scope, he saw nothing unusual about the group. So he swept the door, the windows, the roof of the building. Empty. “Clint!”
“Not here,” his voice was a breathless plea. “She shouldn’t be here.”
“Who?!”
Clint looked frantic, fingers gripping and regripping the rough ledge like every fresh hold bolstered him in place, reminded him that he was part of a team and he needed to hold his position.
“Barton!” Bucky barked again. “Who?”
“The one with the coke bottle!”
“Yeah?” Bucky settled on her through the scope, red bottle, red cap inches from equally red lips. Same band tee as everyone else. To Bucky, a harmless, unremarkable civilian. “I’m not seeing it, man. This is a live mission, Clint! If you see something off, you’ve gotta tell me. Who the hell is she?”
“She’s—she’s… I don’t know… We--I…”
Agitated by his partner’s distress, Bucky followed the woman, kept her tightly within his cross-hairs and with a gentle practiced finger snapped the safety off.
“She’s a friend. A… She’s my person.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Barton?!” Bucky clicked the safety back in place and glared at his partner, his friend. He was ready to fire on a civilian because Clint couldn’t form a sentence when he laid eyes on a goddamn crush.
“I’ve got action on the southwest corner,” Sam’s voice crackled over the comlink. “Definitely packing.”
Bucky, still glaring at Clint, saw his eyes go wide and the decision flash firm in his jaw. Bucky only managed two words after that.
“Clint, don’t—!“
But Clint had already launched himself over the edge of the building.
It wasn’t a long drop. The buildings weren’t skyscrapers, just a couple of stories high, just enough for a few forklifts to create monuments to forgotten consumerism out of crates and pallets.
His landing was loud anyway. Clint rolled onto the empty roof of a delivery truck with the deep bellow of reverberating aluminum. The noise was thunderous, almost matching Bucky’s anger, but Clint kept rolling, right down the windshield until he found his feet on the hood and leapt forward onto crumbling pavement. Then he ran.
“The hell was that?” Natasha worried in Bucky’s earpiece.
“Barton’s lost his goddamn mind over a girl,” he grumbled in answer. “He’s on the ground now. I’ll cover.”
Chapter 5 >>
#clint x reader#clint x barton reader#clint x reader angst#clint barton x reader angst#clint fanfic#clint barton fanfic#avengers fanfic#vivid 4#vivid part 4
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