#which honestly i don't mind. I'm pretty much always happy to watch my cousin as they live so close and her parents are always very grateful | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

Note

hi !! can I please get a 🍰?

i just came across of you writing and it is so cute !! (´-﹏-`；) every post made me feel all warm & fuzzy inside ~ please feel free to totally ignore this if this isn't the proper way to ask or if you already closed your request (also I'm sorry if you already closed your request I didn't noticed) . Also sorry if this has any grammatical errors or if the descriptions don't make sense, english isn't my first language.

so, uhm, to begin my name is elliot (she/her) I'm 5'4, I'm from argentina (south america) i speak spanish & english (among other languages) idk how much I'm supposed to put on here so I'm just going to describe myself as redacted as possible. (Don't know if this is necessary but I'm jewish ¿) ^_________^

I have short brown wavy hair, just a couple of centimeters below my ears, i have bangs, I'm very pale ¿ not chubby but also not skinny average if i may say so. My fashion style changes from time to time but i usually wear clothing in the range of black to white, also sometimes I like trying whatever aesthetic is going around at the time.

Personality wise I'm pretty calm at first, i'm not very good with getting to know new people so I try to be as quite as possible but once I get comfortable i tend to be very loud, i like making my friends laugh since i think that's the most sincere way of knowing they talk to me because they like me. I would say I'm like the mom friend/therapist friend since i really like helping and listening people talk. I love having deep conversations with friends/loved ones, they give me this sense of connection nothing else can give me. I am very blunt and it usually comes off as rude but i try to sugar-coat my words as much as possible.

And while I very much love everyone who is friends with me I have a very hard time showing it and/or showing my empathy for them (one of the reasons as to why I'm not good with meeting new people) but i try to become a better version of me day to day.

What i look in a person is someone who can understand me and my boundaries, since I'm germophobic PDA isn't really something that i enjoy doing but with time i can get myself around to it. Someone whom I can trust enough to be emotionally open with and vice versa. Talkative or not doesn't matter to me. My love language is acts of service. ^_________^

I hope you have a really amazing day ! ! remember to drink water and eat something yummy (*＾3＾)/～♡ don't be too harsh on yourself and keep in mind that many people love you, ba-bye ! ╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯

🍰 for @vvanteffect

Romantic Matchup

Sakusa Kiyoomi

How yall met

You guys met during the All-Japan Youth Training Camp

(You were a partial manager from Nekoma during that time)

Shockingly enough he actually approached you

Granted his cousin was forcing him to socialize but that's not important

He had noticed how you tended to stay away from other people or how when you did talk to someone it was usually a very short conversation

Basically you seemed like the least contaminated person he could talk to so he just went for it

Right away he noticed how blunt you were

Like he would ask you a question adn the longest answer you would give him was about a sentence

“Hey how are you”

“Good”

“Uh so what school are you from”

“Nekoma”

You get what i'm saying

But honestly he didn't really care he just kept talking to you

And the longer he talked to you the longer your responses would get

You guys spent the rest of camp together

And when it was time to go home you exchanged numbers so you could stay in contact

Your schools weren't too far from each other so you guys would see each other in person when you were both free

And well he ended up falling for you

What they love about you

Of course he loves that your also a partial germaphobe

It makes it easier for him to be around you knowing that you try your best to stay clean

He loves how simple you are

From the clothes you wear

To how you talk to other people

He tends to over analize if people are to complicated

But with you everything is just short and sweet

He loves how good of a listener you are

Like if he's had a bad day he can just call you and rant about it

And not only do you listen

But you also help him solve his problems

This next one isn't really something he loves more like something he's proud of

He's very proud that he's gained enough of your trust for you to talk to him

Like full blown conversations

Your guys convos have come a long way from the very first conversation you had

He's just happy that you trust him enough to talk to him

What you love about them

You love that he respects your boundaries

Let's be honest here

Mans isn't really into PDA either

Like come on

LOOK who were talking about here

But that's not the only boundary he respects

He respects All of your boundaries

Like all you have to do is tell him you don't like something and he'll stop

You love how he can handle your bluntness and not get offended

Honestly when you look back on how you met him

Your shocked that he even kept talking to you

That whole training camp people would keep on trying to talk to you

But then leave after a short while because you were being blunt and they took it the wrong way

But not Sakusa

He kept on talking to you even when you were acting pretty cold

And your very appreciative about that

Favorite things to do together

Ok so even though you live semi close together

It's not like your neighbors

So his favorite thing to do with you is to just facetime you and talk about each others days

And when you guys are able to get together

He prefers that you both just stay inside for the most part

So you do just that

Usually your in person hangouts include playing board games, reading,or watching movies together

And if you guys decide to go out

He makes you wear a mask the whole time

And you guys will usually just take a walk at a park or on the beach

Somewhere where theres not a lot of people yk

Random Hc

He has bought you two matching masks

His homescreen on his phone is a picture of you that he took while facetime you

Once you guys were in public and he accidently gave you a kiss while both of your masks were on

And now thats just became a norm for you two

You guys have these matching pajamas

Friendship Matchup

Kuroo Tetsurou

How yall met

You are Nekomas manager

And since kuroo was the captain you worked very closely with him

Which eventually made a friendship bloom

Why you became friends

He kind of saw you as a compitition if that makes sense??

Like when he first met you it's almost like you didn't want to talk to him

Which couldn't be true because he's awesome!

Sure you are kuroo

Anyways kenma had made some backhand comment on how some people just dont wanna talk to him

And kuroo was like 🧐

So he made it his goal to befriend you

It started with him having basic conversation with you everyday

Then it turned into him talking to you during the school day

Which then turned into him inviting you to hand out after school

Eventually you guys just became besties

What yall love about each other

He loves how straightforward you are

Like if you don't like something youll say it

If someones ticking you off you'll tell them

Even though your bluntness is something you get insecure about sometimes

He thinks it's one of your best traits

He also loves that you are bilingual

It makes for a good time when your ranting about something because your languages will start to blend

And if your really mad you'll just switch to spanish and just start ranting

And even though he can't understand a word your saying

He just smile and nods till your done

You love how deep your conversations can get

Like he'll play along with whatever deep topic you talk about

“What's the meaning of life”

“I would say its to give life a meaning”

Yeah y'all talked about that for HOURS

You also like how helpful he is

If your ever having a hard time managing the team he'll always offer a helping hand

And if your ever struggling with schoolwork he's always there to help you

Random Hc

He was very shocked when you and Sakusa started dating

He threatened to kick his ass if he ever broke up with you

Hes tried to learn spanish but gave up after a week

But he did learn how to say all the cuss words in spanish

After he befriended you he rubbed it in kenmas face

Kenma was just like 😐 ok

But kuroo took satisfaction in his victory

You really had kuroo thinking for a whole day when you asked him

Did the color orange come before the fruit? Or is it vice versa?

Still hasn't come up with an answer to that question

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #sakusa hcs #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x y/n #kuroo headcanons #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo hcs #kuroo x y/n #kuroo tetsurō

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romansrgn · 3 years

Text

ch. 8

"I can't believe we just did that." Braelin shook her head in disbelief.

Dante looked down at his naked girlfriend."You regret what happened?"

"No, of course not. I'm just surprised that this was the place we decided to, you know—"

"Make love?"

Braelin raised a brow, surprised at how intimate it sounded. "Is that what we did?"

Dante thought for a moment, and honestly, he wasn't sure. Don't get him wrong, he slept with his fair share of women and could honestly say what he and Braelin just did felt different than the night of fucking he's grown accustomed to with the previous women he had been with, But at the same time, it felt that it was too soon to call what he and Braelin did "making love." Especially since he knew she had some unresolved feeling for her ex despite the constant declarations to him about wanting to see where they could go.

"I think you and I need to put some clothes on before someone walks in and sees you naked, and I'll have to kill them." he kissed the tip of her nose.

Braelin rolled her eyes and stood up."Right because seeing me naked with a swollen belly is every man's fantasy."

Dante gave her a look, "You're only saying that because you don't see yourself the way I do. I just had you and already want seconds."

Braelin popped her hand on her hip. "Seconds?"

"You're right; Sixths is more like it." He smirked, burying his head in her neck. He loved that she smelled like him.

Braelin kissed him lightly on the lips. "You didn't even take any pictures."

"You underestimate me, baby. I managed to get twenty shots before getting in between those sweet thighs of yours."

Braelin laughed. "Ok, this is not a story I'm going to tell the kids once they're old enough to see the pictures themselves."

Dante snorted, shaking his head. "Sex? Check. Photoshoot? Check. How about dinner at any restaurant of your choosing?"

"Didn't we do this backward?"

Dante shrugged. "We can still have sex afterward."

Braelin lightly shoved him. "Ass."

Roman looked over his shoulder at the hand that was placed there.

"Don't be too disappointed. It's only your wife."

Roman sighed, "Do you want to keep doing this? I asked you to meet me here so we could talk, not argue."

Janelle nodded, "I'm here, and like I said, despite your infidelity twice. I'm still willing to work out our marriage."

Roman remained quiet after hearing that.

Janelle wasn't sure what she was doing. She's never been the type of woman to be ok with her man fucking around on her, and she still wasn't. But like she said before. She and Roman had too much history, and they've been through way too much to throw it all away. "I'm not trying to make this difficult. I want everything to go back to the way things used to be."

"I need to do something I should've done a long time ago and be honest with you. Do I still love you? Yes. Do I love still love, Braelin? Yes, and honestly, even after all these years, I still haven't stopped. What happened between Braelin and I shouldn't have happened, but I don't regret it. But what I do regret is how this is all affecting you, and that's why I think we should get a divorce."

Janelle smiled sadly. "I keep telling myself I owe myself more than what I'm giving right now. I'm trying to hold onto something so good and beautiful at one point because despite where we are now, our love was something to fight for, and I thought you felt the same."

Roman nodded, "I do. I did, and that's my point. I need to figure things out, and it's not fair to you or anyone else if I stay in a marriage that I swore before God that I would be in forever. When in reality, I have never done right by you."

"But You think you're doing right by Braelin? You're not. The three of us have been in this entanglement since college. But like fools, we all participate in it because, for whatever reason, we convinced ourselves that you were the right man for us."

Roman snorted, "You never wanted to work on our marriage. You didn't want me to go back to Braelin."

Janelle shrugged. "Despite what I feel about her and the situation. Neither one of us deserves to be led on by you."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"No, you're playing the field. Rounding the bases to see which girl you want to play with for a little while, but then you'll get bored, and then, of course, history will repeat itself."

Roman chuckled darkly. "Yea, and that never stopped you from spreading your legs for me every chance you got either."

Janelle slapped Roman hard across the face. "I was stupid to think you were worth my effort, let alone the time I've wasted on making this work. I wanted to keep you because I love you, but despite that, I realize I'm not in love with you. I know that now because no woman who could truly love themselves would be willing to be a second choice for a son of a bitch like you."

Roman pointed at his wife. "That's what I always liked about you, Janelle. You never hold back, and I appreciate that, so let me return the favor." He stood up, towering over her wrapping a strand of hair around his finger. "Even though we had our good times. You were never her. You will never be her."

Janelle snorted, removing his hand from her hair. "Right now, you'll never be Dante. You remember him. Braelin's boyfriend. You know the same boyfriend she fucked in the middle of her maternity shoot."

Roman's large hands flexed, and his eye twitched.

"Of course, you didn't know that, so let me shed a little light on the subject. According to my good friend, who happens to be the assistant to the makeup artists who did Braelins makeup. Those two were too busy fucking each other's brains out to notice that the building wasn't empty. But I can't blame her. Dante is fine as—"

Hearing enough, Roman walked off, leaving Janelle alone.

Janelle smiled. She would gladly give Roman his divorce; although she did love him, she no longer wanted his cheating ass. She can admit that to herself, but she will be damn if she allowed Roman to get his happy ending after all the pain he caused her. It was one thing to cheat once but twice and then got the woman he cheated with pregnant. He can get the fuck out of here with that.

But was Roman alone in this? No, of course not. It takes two to create a child, and in Janelle's mind, Braelin was guilty as sin and should also pay for her part in this betrayal. But she wasn't going to play the role of the wicked ex-wife. She was going to show Roman that he can't snap his fingers and get everything he wants. So her plan was simple. Give Braelin the happy ending she always wanted, and naturally, it wasn't going to be with Roman.

Roman ignored questioning stares as he walked past them. He immediately dialed Braelin, "Answer the phone, damn it."

"Hey, Rome, you ok?" Naomi asked, immediately noticing the tension in his frame. "Is Braelin ok?"

Roman glared at her while hanging up the phone. "Where's your cousin?"

Naomi raised a brow at his tone, "Probably busy since she didn't answer your call, and with the way your attitude is right now, I'm glad she didn't."

Roman snorted, "Right, because I'm the big bad wolf."

"More like an indecisive fuck boy with good intentions. You don't want to hurt Brae, but somehow you always do. You two are friends who settled on co-parenting, but somehow that's not enough for you. You need to control every aspect of her life because you want to be her life."

"That's unfair and not true. I want what's best for her, even if it's not me. You know that."

"I know that you want to believe that, but your actions speak louder than those pretty little words. You have gone above and beyond to insert yourself into things that don't concern you. You two are not together anymore. Move on."

Roman knew Naomi was right, and despite his actions, he wanted Braelin to be happy, and with Dante, she was delighted. But he couldn't help but covet what he knew was his "Let me ask you something. If you and Jimmy broke up and after everything you two have been through together, would you accept him being happy with someone else? You would find it easy to sit back and watch someone else take your spot. Just like that."

Naomi shook her head. "You know Janelle is actually in this predicament, and I bet to you she seems like a real bitch for being hurt that you want to start over with the mother of your children. But the truth of the matter is you two are the real villains of the story, not her."

"At Least you're honest."

Naomi closed her eyes before turning around to see her cousin standing there. "I didn't mean to--"

"Yes, you did, and you're right. I know I can't take back what I did, and for that, I'm sorry because our actions caused someone else to get hurt in the process, not once but twice. I fucked a married man and got pregnant with his children. It was low down, and as a woman, it was disrespectful as hell. I'm the bad guy, not her."

Janelle clapped her hands, seemingly having heard the entire exchange. "That's the first step to redemption. Accountability, but it doesn't absolve you for what you did."

"It doesn't, and I can't say sorry enough to you, and I know that you can't forgive me--"

"It's not that I can't. I won't forgive you, Braelin. That's the difference. You willingly opened your legs for a married man not once but twice, and because of this affair, you got pregnant knowing I was having issues."

Roman opened his mouth to interject, but Braelin held up her hand, stopping him from commenting any further. She didn't need to be protected from this, especially since she knew she was the one in the wrong.

Braelin bit down on her bottom lip. "I didn't know." she defended. "I found out what was happening with you after I found I was pregnant. That's why I didn't want to say anything because it would be another slap to the face, and I couldn't hurt you like that."

"It's too late, Braelin," Janelle yelled. "I'm hurt either way, and the worse thing about this whole thing is that I'm not even surprised Roman cheated with you because this was always our favorite dance. The three of us. But, what I was surprised about was how weak-minded you still are when it comes to him." Janelle pointed to Roman. "And at first, we could blame it on how young and stupid we were, but the truth is only one of us is still stupid," she said before walking off, leaving Naomi, Roman, and Braelin alone.

"I didn't know you were— that she was." Naomi didn't know what to say to her cousin. She didn't attend for her talk with Roman to end with her cousin being dragged in front of what she can now see as the entire fucking locker room. At some point during the argument, they must've gotten the attention of some of the other superstars, "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

Braelin was numb. She came to Roman to ask what the emergency was since he had called her and texted her ten times. The only reason she didn't answer the phone was that she was already in the building. "No, I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know that I did a maternity photoshoot today.' Braelin looked around the arena of people who still occupied the room.

Roman tensed. "Really, and you didn't think I would like to attend?"

Braelin furrowed her brows at the question. "What are you—" her phone rang. "Hey, baby," she said, looking over at Roman and Naomi before excusing herself.

Naomi ran a hand through her hair. "I never attended for anyone to find out like this. I pushed too far and—"

Roman didn't like that their business was now on full blast, but he could admit it was nice to be open and honest with everything, and it made what he had to do next that much easier. Janelle wasn't the bad guy, but she wasn't the victim Naomi was trying to paint her out to be. He knew she had some tricks up her sleeve, and he'd be damn if he allowed her to interfere with him and his family "Yea, maybe a little. But Janelle is up to something."

"Janelle is not my concern, and considering all the shit you already have to deal with, she shouldn't be yours either."

Roman snorted, "It's hard to tell whose side you're on these days."

"I'm on the side I've always been on, and that's Braelin."

"Oh yeah? It seems like you're more on Janelle's side, and I'm not sure why that is. You and Janelle aren't friends, but from the way you're acting, you two have been friends for years. Braelin is the one that needs you right now. So instead of throwing what we did back in her face every second, maybe you should try to remember she needs you right now." Roman said, walking off. He had a meeting with Paul Heyman. He'll talk to Braelin later.

"I'm glad everything went alright with Tata. Send him my love, ok."

"I will. We're still on for tonight?"

Braelin grinned. "Of course. I should be done here before 9. They don't have much for me so that it might be sooner, and then I'm all yours."

Dante liked the way that sounded but deep down inside; he could never get himself to believe it. "You promise?"

Braelin heard the double meaning behind his question, and now more than ever, she wanted to make that promise to him, "I promise, I'm all yours. I'll see you tonight, baby."

Naomi peaked her head into the room once she heard her cousin end her phone call. "I want to apologize to you."

Braelin stuffed her phone in her pocket. "For what? None of this is your fault."

"It's not, but I don't want you to feel like I'm not on your side. Because I am. I've just been on edge since after Jimmy's surgery."

Braelin sighed, "I know that you've been through a lot lately, and of course, I know you're on my side, Nao. But it just feels like you're punishing me sometimes."

Naomi grabbed Braelin's hand. "I'm not punishing you. Yes, I'm-- I'm upset that this happened. Honestly, I knew what kind of hold you and Roman had on each other. I wish that I intervened before things could get more complicated for you."

Naomi loved Roman like a brother, but after Roman broke things off with Braelin to give his relationship with Janelle another chance, she witnessed Braelin's heartbreak live and in color. If it weren't for Jimmy talking her down, she probably would've killed Roman for what he did to her cousin.

"I don't need--"

"You almost stopped wrestling after you lost him, remember that?" Naomi whispered heatedly.

"I remember, Naomi. It wasn't my finest moments, and I sure as hell don't want to relive them. It hurt. It still does. It's why I'm scared as hell to give my heart to Dante out of fear that he's going to do the same thing Roman did to me."

"Then you need to be honest with him. You're making promises to him that are going to be impossible to keep because you can't stay away from your ex, and now that you're pregnant with his children, it's going to be even harder to keep that much-needed distance."

Braelin whipped the loan to tear that rolled down her cheek. "How did I manage to fuck things up this badly? I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I ended up hurting everyone."

Naomi laughed. "It's your talent, I guess."

Braelin pinched Naomi. "Bitch."

"Just think about what I said, ok."

Braelin nodded. She suddenly wanting to see Dante now more than ever.

Paul Heyman stood at the end of the table, eyeing both Roman and Vince McMahon. "I think this partnership could be beneficial to everyone."

Roman nodded. "A heel turn is unexpected, and it could be what I need to make things more interesting."

Paul grinned, "I agree, so what do you say? Do we have a deal?" He said, extending his hand.

Roman eyed the hand in front of him for a while before shaking it. "We have a deal, and since Jimmy's injured. I want Jey along for the ride."

Vince looked almost skeptical by the idea, but he trusted Paul and Roman to take this new storyline to new heights. "Fine, I'll leave you to it."

"So, here's what I think we should do--"

"We need to involve Braelin somehow," Roman said, interrupting Paul.

Paul blinked. "What?"

"You heard me. Since we're introducing this new heel turn and turning it into a family affair, I think it's only fair to involve not only Jey but Brae."

Paul Heyman had no issue involving more of the company's top talent but last heard, Braelin was close to retiring. "Umm, sure. But I thought she was retiring. "

Roman took a sip of his water. "She was, but now she has a reason not to."

Paul looked confused. "Explain."

"It's simple. She can't wrestle while pregnant, and since she's carrying my children, it'll add more layers to the story while giving her a reason to stick around."

Paul wouldn't call himself a manipulative man in the slightest. He was a smart businessman that knew how to make any situation work in his favor in the name of good content. However, that didn't mean he was against it, or he didn't know it when he saw it and if you asked Paul what Roman Reigns was doing was a manipulation at his finest. But whatever worked, and if Roman wanted Braelin a part of the story, then that is what's going to happen. "Whatever the tribal chief wants. The tribal chief gets."

Roman smirked, "That's what I like to hear."

AN: I know it’s been a while but I wanted to start the new year off right. Thanks to everyone who still reads and comments on this story on both here and wattpad. Stay safe and happy reading!

taglist: @queenofthearchitect @calicina @never-sawft-princess @5dsinyourdirection @fancybarbii @aria725 @lustyromantic @kai1996en @angelbaby908

#roman reigns #roman reigns fan fic #wwe fanfiction #wwe smut #wwe #roman reigns fanfiction #key writes #ghostin

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silenthillmutual · 4 years

Note

I don't know if you're the right person to tell this to but I think my mom's emotionally abusive. She gets mad whenever I get upset at her and gaslights me(probably??) whenever I call her out. I tried to tell her that she never apologized for hurting my feelings and she responded with, "I don't have to apologize to you" and it just made me feel worse. My family's Christian and all but I'm scared to tell the pastor(or anyone) because I don't want her to get mad at me. Do you have any advice?

I guess I’m a decent source for that, and I’ve got enough spoons today to answer this!

I’ll be honest with you, a parent reacting with anger whenever you get upset with them is never a good sign. The “I don’t have to apologize to you” response is definitely emotionally abusive, especially if it’s not a reaction in a vacuum; anything as an isolated incident is understandable since we all make mistakes, but this doesn’t sound like a one-off thing.

I had a couple of friends help me through being gaslit myself; here are a few articles on the topic, all of which are pretty brief:

Were You Born Under the Gaslight?

11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

a resource post from r/RaisedByNarcissists

I’m not a psychologist in any capacity, but having been through it myself and having sat down and watched a film adaptation from where the term hails, here’s a sort of brief rundown of some things gaslighters will do to their victims:

making attempts to isolate you (from friends, from family members, etc; ex, excessive monitoring of your communications with friends to the point of taking your phone or computer so you can’t contact them, although this may be done subtly)

telling you that you have traits or attributes that do not feel or sound like things you do (ex, telling you that you are “forgetful” or “tend to lose things” even when you are not a forgetful person)

accusing you of lying, whether directly or indirectly (ex. asking, “what did you do with x thing?”, not believing you when you say you haven’t seen it; then when you find it, saying something to the effect of, “so you did know where it was”)

saying things with emotion and then denying there is any emotion behind their words (ex. if they say something to you in an angry way and when you say, “don’t be angry,” they say, “i’m not angry” and look at you like you’re crazy)

making you look bad in front of others (this can be making you look like a jerk, making you look inconsiderate, making you look foolish, like a buzzkill, etc.)

taking on a tone to imply that you are scaring them, even when you have not done or said anything out of the ordinary (if you’re thinking to yourself, “i didn’t even have any emotion behind this, i didn’t even sound angry” and they’re reacting like they’re afraid you’re going to hit you? that’s gaslighting)

whiplash mood swings and honeymooning - quickly going from being angry at you to putting on a convincing happy act in front of others; “honeymooning” is when, after a period of abuse, they start to act really nice and considerate towards you, making you think that they’ve changed, or maybe they do one really nice thing for you as a way to “make up” for their behavior (this never lasts, don’t buy it.)

turning themselves into the victim of every situation (guilt tripping you, especially in situations where you are telling them that they have hurt you. parents really love this one; it’s the “oh so i’m a horrible parent” comeback to any time you’ve ever said “this really hurt my feelings”)

infantalizing you (another parental favorite)

upsetting you in public, covertly, so that only you are aware of what they have said/done

threatening you with institutionalization

Another big one that I don’t think I mentioned here because it’s not one that came up in the film is outright denying that something ever happened. We tend to assume that’s something we’d be able to catch outright, but the truth of the matter is that their lies start out small and they do all of these things above & more for the sake of putting you off balance and confusing you so that by the time their lies get to the level of things you should be able to look at and say plainly, “that’s not true,” you’ve gotten to the point where you feel like you can’t trust your own memory or judgement of things.

I’ll give a couple examples because the list of potential things they could lie about goes between fairly small stuff to extreme stuff:

my mother claimed once that she was never on her phone during dinner

my mother claiming she’d never seen movies that not only did i remember her commentary on, but i’m pretty sure one of them we actually saw in theatres

her claiming i’d never told her things that i most definitely had told her before

combined with that one: lying about the last time we’d had contact; right before i cut off all contact with her i was able to actually screenshot the dates and times of the last time we’d spoken and send them to her

lying about actual historical facts; in my mother’s case: refusing to acknowledge that ABA had, since its inception, used aversives and was abusive in practices, was the foundation of the conversion therapy movement. i sent her screenshot and link proofs of this as well and she did not appreciate it

she also claimed that she never threatened to kick me out of the house and claimed that i promised her i would start therapy before starting HRT - neither of which are accurate or even remotely believable (you really think i’d up and move w two weeks notice halfway across the country if i hadn’t been kicked out? i have to laugh.)

Another one that did not really get shown well in the film but that I believe i’ve read somewhere and have personal experience with, is that they like to keep you traumatized. It keeps you in a state of like... uncertainty, I guess you could say. It keeps you from feeling completely lucid or in control of things, and more likely to need help and depend on them for continued support. They may also be likely to mess with your head in other ways, like with the use of drugs - and I don’t just mean illegal ones; parents who have control over your medication and make sure you take it do have to potential to keep you up on medications you don’t actually need as a method of control. (Both of these can actually be seen in use in the film Midsommar w/ the suicide ritual being a method of continued trauma and the constant drug use being...obvious. I’m sure it gets used in other places too but that was the first one to come to mind, and Aster does a really good job of showing how effective that shit is.)

I don’t really know what other religions rules are like when it comes to confidentiality. I was raised Catholic, and there was a certain understanding about priests and ethics that pretty much went that unless you had a warrant (and on top of that, a damn good reason; iirc there have been plenty who don’t even testify under oath) they weren’t to tell anyone what you told them in confidence. If you know anything about their ethics regarding that or even feel that you can ask them safely about it, it could be a good place to start if you feel that church community is one where you feel safe.

The biggest roadblock tbh is age and...idk how else to put this other than status? If you’re a minor there is, unfortunately, not a lot you can do to get away from her or get her to stop - especially if you’re in a situation where she’s really your only parent. Which is sort of what I meant by status; do you have another parent or step-parent, sibling, uncle, aunt, cousin, etc you feel you could talk to about it?

I really wish I could recommend school guidance counselors, but I’m not altogether sure they’re equipped with the right materials to help you out there. That being said, if you have a family member that you can trust to help you find a therapist outside of school, that would also be a really good resource; whether you’re an adult still living within that contact or a minor who can’t get away at the moment, a therapist can help you come up with some coping techniques to deal with it until you can safely get away. I’d suggest looking for one who specializes in trauma or in PTSD, esp if they have c-PTSD listed (the ‘c’ is for complex, which is a proposed addition(??) to PTSD that would separate a singular traumatic event from an ongoing traumatic situation like living in war zones, being a POW, domestic violence, etc). PsychologyToday has a search function for finding accredited therapists in your area that should list their specialties, credentials, and insurance plans they take. (And if you’re asked why you need one, honestly, extrapolate on a minor issue. Like tbh you could just say body image issues.) Therapists are bound by license-revoking ethics not to tell anyone what you discuss in therapy unless you are going to hurt yourself or someone else.

[If you feel you’re being monitored too closely at home and don’t have a way to get this information at school, I suggest asking a reference librarian to help you out. A lot of public libraries will have community resource information, and if they don’t have flyers or brochures out, reference librarians’ entire jobs are to help you access information whether that’s in the library or in the community! That’s why I work in LIS, lol.]

Other than that the two big pieces of advice I have are:

Build up a support network outside your family. If you feel you can’t trust them with this, or even if you’re worried about putting them in the middle of a difficult situation - and even if those aren’t concerns for you - it’s always good to have a support network that isn’t connected to the situation in some way. Most of my support network came from friends, a bulk of whom I knew from online, and from coworkers. The first person to tell me I was being gaslit was actually a coworker, who I talked to when I got kicked out and was shaken up about it. I had a p good relationship w my boss and all my coworkers there, so when I had to put in my two weeks’ notice I actually got an offer to stay with my boss in the event that the situation escalated, and also knew I could go and stay with my one of my best friends with their grandad, or their sister. In fact, right when that happened, my friends already had a kind of escape plan half-formed because things had just kind of been getting worse, and for almost a year now I’ve been living with my other best friend. Even if things never get to the point of you having to leave the house, just having people that you can rely on who will be on your side entirely is crucial to dealing with that kind of stress.

If you think or feel you may be getting gaslit - even if you’re thinking to yourself that you’re just blowing things out of proportion or that it’s “not that bad” (a lot of us go through that) - start keeping a journal of things your mother says to you. You don’t have to show anyone. Just keep it for yourself. It doesn’t even have to be anything important; like I said earlier, it can be as simple as off-handed comments about movies you’ve watched or appointments you’ve made or what have you. Write them down when they happen, date them, and then when she says something that you feel contradicts what you’ve already heard - you can fact-check it. You can also do this with screenshots if it’s over text or something, and if you think you can get away with secretly recording her on your phone that might help too. I don’t recommend telling her you’re doing this or pointing out when she’s been lying; in the event she doesn’t outright deny it she could flip it around to make herself the victim or spiral out of control and get worse - this is just for your peace of mind. The goal of gaslighting, to quote the movie, is to “systematically [drive] you out of your mind”. This would just be a way to reassure yourself that you’re not making it up, you didn’t forget, you’re not blowing things out of proportion.

If you need anything more specific, feel free to let me know! I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it really just fucking sucks. But I believe you can make it! And there is an it - there’s an out, even if it’s hard to get to or takes long.

#advice #links #long post #abuse ment #gaslighting #ok to rb #ask to tag #plato posts #[redacted] asks #answers.txt

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thatskepticalbitchcara · 3 years

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Sorryyyyy I’ve been a little stressy this week between work and moving but I hope you’re feeling a little better and are doing something fun this weekend 🤍 also you seem very likable to me as well 😘

favorite color: black but I tell people blue because it’s more socially acceptable lmao

favorite food: probably swordfish or sushi

are you friends with exes: friendly I guess

do you still have feelings for exes: no lol

coming out story if you have one: I don’t really have one, one of my brothers is gay so I kind of just piggybacked off him when he was coming out to the fam and was like yeah same

what time do you go to bed: it depends, during the week between like 11-12:30 and usually before 2:30 on weekends

what time do you wake up: 5:30 during the week and usually like 8:30-9 on weekends (unless it was a long night, I’m very much not against sleeping in but I don’t really do it on my own)

whats your best wifey quality: incredibly talented in making a perfect bed ngl

whats your worst wifey quality: mmm I really hate unloading the dishwasher

body count: lmfaooo I’m not answering that

worst habit: honestly idk? I don’t think I have any that are too obnoxious but I can be a little overly focused on cleanliness if that counts

are you a sports fan: you don’t really have the option not to be in Boston 😂

what activities did you do in high school: soccer and track

have you been to pride: I have not! Wanna go?

have you ever lived with a partner: yes, didn’t end well 😂

do you have piercings: I have a bunch in my ears, I had my nose and nipples pierced for like 5 years but I let them close

instagram handle: 😳😳😳

what did you do today: nothinggg fun. Just worked and stayed home tonight and watched a movie

place you want to travel to: Greece

do you have a big family: my immediate family is pretty average but I do have like 50 something first cousins

biggest fear: I mean if we’re going with basic fears it would be heights

adult beverage of choice: wine usually

it's okay, babe 💜 i hope moving hasn't been too hard on you.

favorite color: probably green, but it truly depends. i don't just have one favorite!

favorite food: probably some sort of carb.. like a really, really good baguette toasted with brie and a spread.

are you friends with exes: nope.

do you still have feelings for exes: i will always love my one ex but i'm not in love with her like that anymore. she's also... not a problem as she lives on the other side of the planet.

coming out story if you have one: i don't have one really! i had a ~thing~ with a girl in 8-9th grade and i sort of used that to tell my friends and two family members at the time. but overall, i just sort of tell people as i meet them or drop it casually into conversation. don't talk about it w my family, would only explicitly tell them if i was in a normal, serious relationship.

what time do you go to bed: it depends, but usually between 11-12:30ish.

what time do you wake up: also depends! i love waking up at like 6 am, but when the seasonal depression hits it's.. more like 8 which i hate. i don't really sleep in on the weekends either.

whats your best wifey quality: i think i'd be a good housewife. happy to cook and clean for you, make you lunch for work, make the home oasis, take care of the kids/cats, you know 😌

whats your worst wifey quality: i can get stressed out super easily and also i HATE putting laundry away (don't mind dishes though 😘 )

body count: also. not answering this lol but it isn't high.

worst habit: talking down about myself idk my bad habits are all wrapped up in my depression and anxiety which i'm TRYING to work on in therapy but it's... a process

are you a sports fan: i'm not ❤️

what activities did you do in high school: i danced throughout all of school and played piano (no, i can't play anymore. i'm sorry! would love to get back to it eventually but right now i'm more focused on guitar). i also worked on the school newspaper briefly lol and did a theatre camp in the summer. ummm trying to think if there was anything else but not really in high school.

have you been to pride: nope, i haven't. and sure 👀

have you ever lived with a partner: LMAO so there's a funny story here but i won't tell it on main 🤫

do you have piercings: no! i need to get my ears redone since the holes closed. i tried getting my nose pierced twice but it wouldn't heal properly despite me following all of the cleaning rules 😢

instagram handle: 😳

what did you do today: so far i have woken up and made coffee

place you want to travel to: everywhereeee baby

do you have a big family: i'm an only child.. but my more like.. extended immediate (?) family is relatively large and close we all just live scattered

biggest fear: illness

adult beverage of choice: wine (rose is my fave)

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