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ra-vio · 2 years

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I'm finally replaying Spirit Tracks

#loz #legend of zelda #spirit tracks #toon link #toon zelda #princess zelda #I think the last time I FINISHED spirit tracks was in 2013 which is almost 10 years ago #i'm replaying it now in hopes of finishing it again. it is literally link's first day holding a sword #im already thinking of the option of whether he stays an engineer or becomes a knight #boy trained to be an engineer. he wanted to drive trains. why would i take that from him #but also why not both #now that i think of it alfonzo could have given him basic sword training #you ever think of how link always leaves after his adventure cause his life is so different now #so many of them just leave the country.#well if this one leaves the country guess what he can take on his way out?#but also they give you the option of not knowing what to choose #and giving me that option while I was in high school? so true lmao

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 5 months

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the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here

#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness #(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too)#but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so #lets see how that develops you know #also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it #not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but #im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing #to complain abt it anyway #the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy #maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness #i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character #in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now #like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains #in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think #or maybe you can! but i'll find that out #i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh #always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do #bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really #but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all #remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe #saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post #all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story #whos Other is story #where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story #ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe

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mercyisms · 2 years

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cannot sign off on sarpedon content that doesn’t recognize he’s in a taylor swift you belong with me dot mp3 loop with mercymorn

#nona the ninth #john gaius #admiral sarpedon #mercymorn the first #when mercy boards the erebos she tells sarpedon she remembers him from almost twenty years ago #what ! happened almost twenty years ago !!#dios apate #STRONGLY suggests to me she remembers him from when she and augustine descended in their finest little outfits to fuck god #which now that john Is confirmed sarpedonfucker #(unclear but i really choose to read this via ianthe's framing that this is a new sadman ohh i killed my polycule trait of john's)#adds a great edge to the mercymorn / sarpedon face off where he does not want to give her an inch and she whisks away john anyway!!#this evil hot lady is always swooping in and monopolizing his emperor!!#she wears short skirts he wears t shirts she's cheer captain and he's on the bleachers #do you see where i'm going here #do you SEE #nona spoilers #i guess

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flufflecat · 9 months

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Got to stolen century in my relisten and started tearing up at work because of magnus carving the duck. Just me in the back room, crying over the dish sink for normal reasons.

#the adventure zone #taz balance #taz #it gets me every time #I was anticipating that scene all shift #and wanted to leave before I got to it bc I knew I would start crying and didn't want to cry at work ahfkahfkka #unfortunately I had to stay an hour and a half late bc yayyy labor day #I also started tearing up at merle with the church of fungston. for some reason.#merle has never really made me that emotional before but I guess now in my old age I'm more struck by his love of life #i understand you better now merle. as a twenty-something I really see the appeal in being able to love life despite the hardships #(this is a joke. I am almost 24 and do not think I'm old)#(I do find merles brand of optimism very good nowadays though. I also have a zest for life and a need to complain about things)#I managed to not cry at the lup and Barry duet though which I am quite proud of #probably bc I spent like half an hour watching lup animatics last night and got my tears out then #I'm having a normal time #normal as hell #most people probably cry over podcasts at their grocery store job #I think that's a standard experience #especially when those podcasts are from 7 years ago and you're still not over them #standard #fluffle talks

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schlawa · 1 year

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It’s a (translated) quote from my favourite bands live banter, where the drummer asked if anyone still needs a guitarist and I just thought the vibe fits them so well

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #luffy #its not meant to be lawlu but go ahead and tag it as such if you like #i never understood the hate about tagging posts after a ship #so #lawlu #i guess sdfgdfg #my art #op #why does law wear his wano clothes but luffy doesnt?#well great that you didnt ask #i do not know how to draw an arm at an angle like this so i took any opportunity to not draw it #shitpost #after an actual artwork i of course had to go on hiatus just to come back with a meme i started a year ago #i had so many personal problems going on in my family which resulted in me having so much paperwork to do #i still work on it for almost 3 months already #anyway dont mind me here in the tags #i have some more wips going on for a while now #some are half finished so i might come around to upload more this year

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squeakadeeks · 6 months

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its unfortunate that i feel compelled to make tragedy in my life into a spectacle as ive learned that many people are uninterested in listening or engaging with my life unless i present it in a deliberate nonchalant, low-expectation, humorous and entertaining way

that being said i have to get abdominal surgery within the year and do you think i can convince the surgeon to slip a squeaky toy squeaker in there

#forget if i mentioned that they actually found something in my MRI and the absolute transcendental vindication i got #after years of shoulder shrugs and guesses was IMPECABLE #like they told me i probably needed this surgery a YEAR AGO but wouldnt act on it or do further diagnostics so it just kept getting worse #and brought down a bunch of other systems with it #granted the gastroparesis and heart issues were their own thing #but evidently bleeding internally for the past 'god knows how long' is in fact....bad?? for your health??#but yeah im almost certainly going to need potentially multiple surgeries in the next year which is. a swag concept to process.

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da-proti-toku-grem · 30 days

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my mom found this super detailed online test that helps you find careers that you'd probably like according to your answers (ofc we know that it's just a test and it doesn't mean you have to study what they give you, but i just can't find anything that i like and i'm running out of time, so we were like, why not yk) so, i took the test and after 30 minutes of answering questions you know what i got? biotechnology. the same career that i chose last year and the one i dropped out of in january.

idk if i want to laugh or cry tbh

#i mean it gives you more than one option but this was the one with more compatibility #and the other ones are also a big no for me so...#god idk what to do with my life #and atp i can't help but start thinking (again): did i drop out bc i didn't like the career or bc my mental health is SO bad #i think it's a combination of the the two bc yeah i probably would've enjoyed the few months i did at least a bit more if i wasn't depresse #but i REALLY didn't like it #tho then again i don't know what changed bc it WAS what i wanted and then i got there and i went NOPE almost immediately #and like i know your opinions can change and that is good that i dropped out if i realized that's not my thing #but i can't help but wonder if it is really not my thing or is my brain just not letting me enjoy the things i like?#bc every option i've been looking at to start next year is like... No #i can't find anything i think i might enjoy at least a little bit #i found this university that i gives you the possibility of doing the classes and exams online and everything #and that would be to study 'translation and interpretation' with english & french (& spanish ofc)#and since i'm already bilingual in english & i've a certificate in french (not bilingual but is smth) i would be able to skip some subjects #which is good i guess and i like languages but it's also like the opposite of what i've been doing my whole life bc i studied science in hs #and then again idk if i'll like it or not #and i know i won't know if i like it or not until i try it out and everyone is like 'well if it's not your thing then you drop out again'#which i mean is true i Can but god i don't want to go through all this again i need at least a bit of certainity or i'm gonna go insane #also i've been searching for so long w/o findinf anything that my parents are already saying #'well if you don't want to study you'll have to look for a job'#and if the thought of studying a carreer is already scary #if i have to look for a job rn (there are not many options here if you don't have a degree)......#the thought itself makes me sick :/#i just don't know what to do and i'm so fucking tired i just want to curl up in bed and not do anything for at least 2 months #(am i having another existential crisis after that panic attack 3 days ago or did the existential crisis not stop since january?)#(probably sooner)#(i guess we'll never know........)#venting #maca speaks

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6-2-aestheticsofhate · 2 months

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Good gravy I just googled when Splat 1 came out

#ALMOST 10 YEARS AGO?#i guess that works out but like damn #i have. memories of my dad bringing me home coffee as a surprise while i was playing splat 1 #which uh #yeah Considering. (gestures). that was only possible before 2016... yeah damn

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actual-changeling · 9 months

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how do people live without constantly being afraid. not in an anxiety way or having something concrete to worry about, i'm just constantly scared simply because i am alive and existing.

i know this is a consequence of all the trauma and abuse i went through but it's genuinely wild to me that people exist and go without their day feeling. normal. and not like this.

#alex gets personal #even in my own flat which is a studio apartment #i look around and do a 360 periodically without even noticing i'm doing it #just. checking i guess. seeing if everything is fine. safe. listening to hear any yelling or footsteps #when i moved two years ago it took me forever to stop staring at my door all day #i slept with a knife under my bed for weeks and still do when i get more paranoid and psychotic #i need something solid in my back or i start panicking #ever sudden or loud noise makes me flinch and my own doorbell almost gives me a heart attack every single time #i'm hypervigilant and hyperaware all day every day and the fact that most people are NOT like this is absolutely insane to me

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nellectronic · 2 months

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being forever anxious about literally everything will have you engaging in the most questionable behaviors

#this post is about me walking through the sludge in the dark to break into the lab and sneak a peek at someone else’s thesis from some years #ago #to check the title page to make extra sure i am formatting mine right even though there is already an example on the online submission form #(i say ‘break in’ like i don’t have keycard access)#for a minute i thought i heard my adviser’s voice from around the corner where her office is #contemplated checking if she was there and being like. hey what’s up what are you doing here at this hour (she almost always leaves early)#and also asking her my question which i just emailed her about the other form that’s due tomorrow #but ultimately the appeal of immedaite answers (which. low probability even if she was there tbh) was not worth the risk #of not only having to explain why i was also at the devil’s sacrament (lab at 8pm)#but why i was there wearing only shorts and a tshirt under my cloak when it’s 37°F outside and raining #because i don’t really have a good answer for that #screams into the void #i guess this can also go into the #me writing my thesis #tag. it’s not really about writing but close enough

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gandreida · 4 months

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I've been datin' someone and they dumped me this morning and honestly I'm so relieved 'cause now I don't gotta breakup w/ them

#like everything was cool i liked 'em but I was def way too anxious to be in a relationship w/ them. They're just so fucking hot and cool!!!#The anxiety is probably derived from having been in so many toxic relationships tbh like I really felt like I was walking on eggshells-#the whole time I was datin' this person n it's not like they were doin anything to make me feel that way!! If we disagreed about somethin'-#minor it wasn't a big deal it was just w/e which I wasn't used to T^T #I saw the breakup comin' though like it just felt like that was the natural of the relationship!! I saw it from the beginnin if im honest #like when we met I recognized we wanted different things out of life and relationships. Now I'm wondering I was wasting their time?#I don't think so like I gave it a good 'ol college they took me out I took them out we had fun and we ended on really good terms I feel #We hung out for a few hours after we split and just had a good time in general thrifting and talkin' it was super chill #I've just been oh so thrilled 'cause I almost never get dumped!! I forgot that this wasn't the first time someone said we should be friends #The last time was 13 years ago back in middleschool!! I guess I've been ghosted in the past but is that really the same thing?#Everything's comin' up Esther

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peridots-pixiwolf · 1 year

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yknow I play a lot of hard games but usually not "took 73 days to beat" hard

#aka gUESS WHO JUST BEAT RAIN WORLD. AFTER TWO AND A HALF MONTHS #rain world #peridots-nonsense #i got into subterranean like a week ago but have been mostly hanging around by the worm grass shelter for 20 cycles #i went to every region (even if i only spent a couple minutes total in drainage lol). met every echo besides the farm arrays one.#got every passage achievement (every one besides dragon slayer/wanderer in outskirts and industrial within my first few weeks of playing)#and never used a passage anyway. three months!!! rounding up a little! for a game that can be beat in less than 20 cycles.#dh was twelve days (though i'd played through part of it years earlier). stray was seven hours. insc was only a couple days.#i've done two separate ultkill playthroughs so not sure which to count but both were less than a week #hk was actually just over a month. may 24 to june 26th. which is still so much less than this. bftes about a month too #i remember how even just a week into rw i felt like i'd been playing it forever...even just a week in i knew it would be one of Those Games #where i wish i could play it over for the first time again. boy was i right. it almost felt like a second life at times #i loved just running around in certain areas building up stores of food and spears and vulture masks #(what comes to mind are / HI_S02 / CC_S05 / SI_S04 / SB_S07. the first two felt like home!)#(* up in the sixth tag i missed the friend. i was relishing in hubristic bloodlust especially in CC so i didn't have much time for taming)#if the tags here seem particularly incoherent i only falsely apologize. i'm just. reminiscing. i don't think i can do anything else #my heart was pounding as soon as i reached the depths. after 325 cycles. 116 hours. two and a half months. it's over.#maybe a little dramatic but hey it took up an invariable portion of my life for a fifth of a year so. it's just interesting #anyway. a standard ''i took too long on this and now the sun's rising'' goodbye to you tag-wanderer

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givemebishies · 2 years

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Girlfriends

Boyfriends

#that’s all #just started watching this btw #tried watching the dub a few years ago like a doofus and my brain almost exploded #from hearing the American pronunciation of Kabane and Kabaneri over and over #actually really enjoying it so far going back to it subbed tho!#koutetsujou no kabaneri #kabaneri of the iron fortress #chatterbun #just got the end of the whole series a few days ago #series and the movies #and I am fuming #spoiler warning #but they both burried the gays and made the most weird gross comphet couple instead #them making mumei get all crushy and useless in the movie and making the MINOR start dating the 17 YEAR OLD #BAD AND GROSS AND BAD WRITING #he even says in the series that he reminds her of his dead little sister??????#I know he still didn’t exactly seem into her at the ending which I guess is good but like #it should have never came from either of them even if it’s just one lol #either way it’s grody grody grody #good series tho #great even #just skip the last movie fr

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hellsvestibule · 1 year

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Sometimes I think about the fact that I killed the cinnamon roll meme. I’m pretty sure. W my 300,000 note “stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long” post. I have not seen that meme referenced unironically since making that post. but the Star Trek bloggers whose humor hasn’t changed for 10 years still reblog the Spock addition to it unironically sometimes so I’ll see it on my old main blog if I bother to log in and be like omg the scamps are still up to it. But everyone else dropped the meme shortly after that post reached the apex of its circulation. I staled out your cinnamon rolls permanently so you had to move on to blorbo and meow meow. When I think of it that way I hate that post less for being a plague on my inbox before muting posts was a thing

#it deserved it bc people were already being obnoxious as fuck with the phrase cinnamon roll #which was why I made it. but it’s become almost like. radioactive since then #like absolutely nobody says this anymore but 10 years ago it was all over tumblr #my uwu precious cinnamon rolls #you’re welcome that the shaft head tilts and the pasta post are my legacy I guess

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asthevermincrawls · 2 years

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ugh

#never thought id make an all tags vent post but im going thru it i guess #i haven't been a big fan of mcr in years but my whole online presence on tumblr is based around it #and almost all my beloved mutuals are mcr mutuals #i want to actually centre my dash/blog around things i actually like again but i dont want to cut off mutuals! they're important to me #and i DO still like mcr. but if i had made this blog this year instead of 5 years ago i would be following 2 mcr blogs and not like. 10 #yanno?#i wanna focus more on vulture culture and nature and writing and stuff like that but i dont want to make a new blog either. ugh!!!#idk maybe i just need to use tumblr less #i still listen to mcr every once and a while and im finishing a dd fic i started a couple years ago but thr fandom is just. so exhausting #and i hate that all my mcr posts get way more notes than my non-mcr posts #I don't want to make mcr fanart again for a multitude of reasons but i feel like people still follow me for that #and are disappointed when i post things im more interested in #and i hate that as soon as i step outside my bubble of mcr blogs its immediately just. people saying the most insane obsessive shit.#and maybe its just #because i dont like them that much anymore #but that shit freaks me out !! i dont like it here! maybe im just a hater but maybe try listening to a different band for a little while #go for a walk or something #i think maybe i just hate fandom #if it wasn't for the fact that i got into it super young i probably never would have joined the mcr fandom #which would still be a bummer because ive grown a lot as an artist and met some great people through bandom #but im beginning to find that im not really a Fandom Person.#i dont really feel the need to go online after finishing a really good movie/show/book and start posting about it and making up headcanons #i mean i want to write arcane fanfic at some point but thats about it #idk #this was all a long and incoherent ramble #maybe i should just make a new blog. but im really attached to this one #anyway pls like if you read i feel embaressed for spewing all this into the tags #a.txt

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aroaessidhe · 1 year

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2023 reads // twitter thread

Poisoned Primrose

cozy mystery novella with an autistic ace MC

moves to a small village and discovers a body buried in the yard of her new house, and can’t help but investigate

#Poisoned Primrose #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is pretty alright?#I feel like this could have been really good if it went full whimsical………#but instead it kinda. has whimsical elements but a really ‘normal’ narrative style.#so it kinda just feels in that weird basic-writing kinda area #asexuality is kinda awkwardly discussed. why does she keep calling her best friend her ex when they dated like. over 10 years ago I think?#and just the mention of they broke up bc the other wanted sex which is FINE but it felt not thought out. not the worst trope but an annoying #one...... like just that being the narrative reason to bring up asexuality instead of thinking of a relevant reason #love interest is also ace! but also is a cop. don’t love that. (well a detective)#MC is almost 40(?) which I also liked and discussed being diagnosed autistic later in life!#(also a HP reference)#so aside from those things it was fine? I enjoyed it well enough for a short book. I might read the others!#or I guess I have a few issues with it but it is easy to read lol #asexual books #shes bi ace also

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