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khhunniewriting · 7 years

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What I Want

When you got home you were ambushed by Bobby. “Y/N do you know where my white hoodie is?” The two of you had been together for many years that now you were at the point where you two lived under the same roof and depended on each other.

“Which one? You have like thirty of them.” You slipped your shoes off while Bobby took your bag off of your shoulder. “The plain white one.”

“It’s in my closet, on the right side,” you explained as you led the way to the bedroom. When you opened your closet it was obvious that a good portion of it was filled with Bobby’s clothes. “Remember when I told you I moved some things here?”

“You said you would but I didn’t think you were serious. What happened to your stuff?”

“You’re looking at it.” You pointed out the obvious, “I have fewer clothes than you so I was able to put some of your things in here. I was afraid yours would give out any day and I’d come home to see your clothes all over the floor.”

Bobby laughed, he quickly slipped the hoodie on and gave you a peck on the cheek. “Thanks Love.”

You smiled, “You are very welcome.” You walked Bobby to the front door where again he gave you another goodbye kiss.

“I’ll be back for dinner after practice.”

“Okay.” Going back to the bedroom you got out of your work clothes and slipped into one of Bobby’s hoodies. The reason you didn’t need many clothes was thanks to him.

After having dinner with Bobby you two decided to watch a movie in your pajamas. He immediately laid on the couch with his feet up, practically taking up the entire space. “Where am I supposed to sit?”

He turned to lay on his side and tapped the space in front of him,“Right here love. You can be my little spoon.” He wanted you to lay in front of him so he could hold you and snuggle up to you.

“Fine,” you gave into his demands allowing him to wrap his arm around you just like he wanted. Bobby nuzzled into you leaving random soft kisses on the nape of your neck and shoulder throughout the movie.

The next morning you woke up on the couch but now you were on top of Bobby. His interlocked hands laid on the small of your back to make sure you didn’t fall off in the middle of the night. You could imagine how uncomfortable he was despite his peaceful sleeping face and soft snoring. “Bobby” you whispered while tapping on his chest. “Wake up.”

He lifted his head, opening one eye to look at you and sigh, “It’s too early.” He dropped his head back onto the armrest and continue sleeping.

“Come on, this can’t be comfortable for you. Get up and you can sleep some more in bed.” You tried moving but he wouldn’t let go of you he held you tighter making you groan. “Why did we sleep here?”

“You fell asleep and I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You could have carried me to bed,” you giggled. Bobby remained silent not wanting to admit that he liked it this way with you on top of him. “Now let go of me.”

“Fine” he sighed releasing his hold on you. You got off of him and gave him a good morning kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, now don’t you have anywhere to be today?”

“Oh yeah!” Bobby sat up instantly remembering the invitation he had brought home the other day. He dug it up from under the pile of yesterday’s mail. “Hayi told me to give you this.” He had only remembered about it now when he realized he had to go to YG today.

“What is it?” You took it from him and admired the beautiful envelope. “It has your name too.” The way your name and Bobby’s were embossed on it in fancy writing gave you a hint.

“Yeah, but she said you would appreciate opening it more than me.”

Carefully you slid your finger under the tab and opened the envelope and pulled out its contents. “Oh my god! It’s a wedding invitation.” You jumped up and down in excitement as you had a fangirl moment. “I got invited to an idol’s wedding.” You got to know Hayi after you started dating Bobby. You were a huge fan of hers and got Bobby to introduce you to her. Now after four years, you were one of her closest friends but still a huge fan.

“You still see her as an idol?”

“Of course, she’s Lee Hi!”

“What about me?” Bobby remembered the way you would fuss over his celebrity status. He thought you were used to being around idols now but with your reaction, he realized it might just be with him. “You still fangirl about me?”

“Not really” you shook your head. “We’ve been dating for so long and even live together. I see you more as Bobby, my boyfriend than Bobby from IKON.”

Bobby pouted, “Does that mean you won’t fangirl over me ever again?”

“I wouldn’t say that.” You put the invitation back in the envelope for safe keeping. “I thought I wouldn’t fangirl over Hayi again but look at me. I’m so excited about going to an idol’s wedding!” The volume of your voice increased making Bobby realize you still weren’t over it.

“Okay love but I want you to fangirl over me too.” He held your hands lovingly and gave you a cute smile.

“Awww Jiwon...” you were weak to that smile. Letting go of his hands you wrapped you got on the tips of your toes to wrap your arms around his neck. “I didn’t know you liked me fangirling over you.”

Bobby’s smile grew hopeful.

“I’m sure I would fangirl about you when you propose to me.”

Bobby stiffened, suddenly feeling suffocated by his own words. “What?”

“Sorry” you backed away realizing you had never talked about marriage with Bobby before today. Feeling a bit shy of your straightforwardness with the topic you began to ramble on. “I don’t want to sound like I’m waiting for you to propose to me or anything but at this point in our relationship, it’s only natural to think about these things. I know we haven’t talked about it but we live together so...” you shrugged. “Don’t you think about this stuff?”

Bobby looked away unable to address the topic. “I think it’s too early to be talking about this stuff.” Without so much as a glance, he walked off.

His behavior was so obvious. You realized he was dodging the topic right away. You followed him into your shared bedroom to find him already dressed and ready to go. “You changed quickly...”

“I have to go to YG. I’ll be back late so you don’t have to wait for me.”

Before you could ask he gave you a quick peck on the cheek and maneuvered around you to the door. Within seconds the sound of the front door being slammed shut resonated within the apartment walls leaving you with an uneasy heart.

Bobby practically ran to YG. It was hours until anyone would be there but he just had to get out. He got to the practice room and sat on the benches by the wall. His head rolled back against the cool wall, staring up at the ceiling he let a loud sigh escape him. “Shit.”

You: Should I even bother making dinner for you today?

For the past three days, Bobby had skipped the only meal you two shared together. With you working a full-time job and him having practices all day long there was a very limited time frame where you two could see each other. That time was precious to you.

Bobby: Practice will run late. I’ll eat with the guys.

“Right” you rolled your eyes at your phone screen before turning it face down onto the dining table and continuing to eat dinner by yourself. You knew this would happen so you didn’t bother to wait for his reply. It was obvious he was ignoring you for yet another obvious reason. You had freaked him out with the marriage talk.

It made you angry and sad at the same time. After eating alone in silence you realized how boring life was without Bobby. He was always so happy and talkative. You needed that stupid smiling face in front of you.

Bobby was the last one in the practice room. Just like the past three days, first in and last out. He felt bad for hiding from you but he didn’t want to have a confrontation with you. He was afraid to lose you and he was pretty sure that would be the outcome.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the door being pushed open. You walked in expecting to see everyone there but to your surprise, it was just Bobby. “Can I come in?”

Bobby nodded knowing there was nowhere to run anymore. You had come for answers and he would have to give them to you.

You sat down beside him feeling at a loss for words. You had come prepared but as soon as you saw that no one was there you realized there was no practice at all. “I was going to ask if you were avoiding me but now I think it’s pretty obvious.” He had gone so far to avoid you and it hurt.

“I’m sorry” he truly was. “I just didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“Disappoint me how” By saying you didn’t want to marry me?”

He finally made eye contact with you. “How did you know?”

“It was obvious. We had never talked about marriage before and the moment we did you ran away from me. I’m pretty confident in my reasoning but just for the sake of certainty... tell me why you are avoiding me.”

“You’re right” he admitted. Bobby reached for your hand, he interlocked his fingers with yours. “Y/N I love you in a way that I could never love anyone else but...”

You held off on smiling, it felt like he was going to break some bad news to you.

“...I don’t want to get married.”

It felt like the air had been knocked out of you. Your hand went limp in his as you looked away to hide your disappointment.

Bobby held onto your hand tighter trying to reassure you of his love. He never had the intention of letting you go. “Love, I still want to be with you. I love you and always will. It’s just that I personally don’t wish to get married.”

“Why?” you asked in a hushed voice. On the way over you had tried to prepare yourself for this but it was hard to handle even with the preparation.

“I just don’t want to ruin our relationship.”

“You think getting married would ruin it?”

“Well, 50% of the people who get married end up divorced. We are happy together as we are now. Why do you want to risk it by getting married?”

You also knew the statistics but you didn’t care. You loved Bobby and hoped to call him your husband someday. “Because I want to be with you for the rest of my life Jiwon. I love you too, I want to be part of your family, and start one of our own. Don’t you want that?”

“Yes, but..” he trailed off not knowing how to continue.

You sighed in discontent and slipped your hand out of his. “I don’t doubt your love for me but I think we might want different things in life-”

“I want all the things you want.” Bobby wanted to stop you from saying something that would end this. “It's just one thing I don’t want.”

You nodded, recognizing that he was correct. “I know” you teared up as you leaned your head against his shoulder and wrapped your arms around his. You wanted to be as close as possible to him in every sense of the word. You always just assumed you would get married in the future. Now you realized that might have been naive of you to think. “But it’s the thing I want most.”

Even though you tried to hide it Bobby could hear the sound of your soft cries. His heart broke the moment one of your tears landed on the back of his hand. He had never seen you cry and never wanted to see it again. He kissed the top of your head, “You’re what I want most.”

-end-

A/N: Sorry for the open ending but the Anon wanted Angst so I delivered ^^

#kpop scenarios #bobby scenarios #ikon scenarios #jiwon scenarios #khh scenarios #khiphop scenarios #kim jiwon #ikon #bobby #khh #kpop

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hanalwayssolo · 6 years

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My Attendance Is Bad, But My Intentions Are Good

A/N: My last piece is for day 2 of @glaiveweek! Permission to write my Kingsglaive babies having a happy time. Written in Crowe’s POV, because. My girl. Deserved. Better. :) Inspired by the entire team dynamic in Brooklyn Nine Nine (I want to explain this further but gosh I think it merits a different post) and governed by most of my headcanons with these cuties (again, to be explained probablyyyy on a separate post), so please expect lots of crack, shenanigans, a truckload of pop culture references, etc.

Ahhh and tagging some folks again: @eternallydaydreaming2015 @hypaalicious @louisvuittontrashbags @cupnoodle-queen @theyearofdiamonddogs @nifwrites @themissimmortal

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM Glaives, we have a situation.

Crowe was still awake in the comfort of her bed when she caught Nyx’s message in the Glaive group chat—one that Tredd renamed lil fuckaz for the heck of it earlier—and she followed the trail of messages that popped in her phone screen.

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM I know you guys won’t believe this but

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM Check the captain’s calendar

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM and get this: he’s free tomorrow

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM AND HE’S NEVER FREE

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM And then I remembered

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM WHY OF COURSE

Luche Lazarus 3:03 AM yes nyx we know it’s the captain’s bday tomorrow

Crowe smiled at Nyx’s overeager message thread; knowing Nyx, she immediately assumed her good lad of a friend was somewhere in downtown Insomnia, drinking his stress away. Also, she didn’t expect Luche to be awake at this hour. In any case, something about this conversation confused her. Apart from Nyx’s rowdy chat etiquette—which she was fairly used to—what bugged Crowe was her memory of things: she clearly remembered getting partied out a couple of nights back thanks to Drautos’s birthday party hosted by no less than the Glaive’s personally-dubbed veteran party animal, Clarus Amicitia.

There was a brief minute of pause in the group chat commotion, and then:

Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Nobody asked you Luche stfu

Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Anyway. As I was saying.

Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Yes, it’s the captain’s birthday tomorrow

Luche Lazarus 3:04 AM i’m willing to bet my ass you’re planning an outrageous surprise party

Nyx Ulric 3:04 AM You can bet your pasty ass i will and WE SHALL DO IT

Before Crowe could even chime in, Pelna already butted in the conversation, and started wrecking his own havoc:

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM count me the fuck in

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM i’ll buy the cake

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM clarus didn’t let me buy the book cake last Year :(

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM *boob

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM ***boobs

Pelna Khara 3:06 AM had to correct that so y’all know the cake was shaped as a pair of boobs not just one

Of course, where there was trouble, Crowe already thought that Tredd was close by, raring to add to this steaming pile of shenanigans.

And when Crowe saw his name pop into her screen, she grinned. When it came to her personal assessment of her friends, Crowe was always right.

Tredd Furia 3:06 AM lmao

Tredd Furia 3:06 AM i’ll go buy the booze my fam

Tredd Furia 3:06 AM also is it just me or nyx is using punctuation marks or am i just 2 high

Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM Fuck you Tredd

Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM I was trying to drive a point

Pelna Khara 3:07 AM nah tredd just too high i can secondhand smoke your joint even from here

Tredd Furia 3:07 AM fuck u pelna :) :) :)

Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM Anyway thanks guys, we’ll do this in briefing room A

Luche Lazarus 3:08 AM i didn’t agree to the alcohol losers but whatever

Nyx Ulric 3:09 AM u scared daddy’s gonna dish out some disciplinary action, leader? ;)

Luche Lazarus 3:09 AM fuck u

Axis Arra 3:10 AM i can’t believe tredd woke me up for this shit

Nyx Ulric 3:10 AM And Crowe, I know you’re awake I can see your tiny bubble just lurking in this convo

Pelna Khara 3:11 AM wow axis just responded to a group chat conversation

Pelna Khara 3:11 AM blessed be the stars

Tredd Furia 3:11 AM this surprise party’s gonna be litttttt af

Nyx Ulric 3:12 AM hi there axis you and sonitus take care of the food

Axis Arra 3:13 AM ok

While the conversation rolled along, Crowe still had this nagging feeling that the entire arrangement was too… odd. Luche easily joining this nonsense was already out of the ordinary, but Axis—quiet and soft-spoken Axis Arra—replying to this mess and just agreed to help organize this shitstorm? Crowe had seen her friends do strange things, but this one weirdly made her queasy. Not to mention, they have been acting rather funny around her these past couple of days. She stared at her phone screen, trying to rake her thoughts on that last party. She was definitely sure that party happened. She could still taste the acrid smoke from that sordid bar, and she could still remember hooking up with that heavily tattooed man whose name was the only thing that she lost in her nebulous memory.

Just when Crowe was about to protest for a clarification, another message arrived from Nyx:

Nyx Ulric 3:15 AM btw where tf is Libertus at

Luche Lazarus 3:15 AM Poor Libertus Ostium, he is missing action

Luche Lazarus 3:15 AM So now I’m facing Nyx Ulric with his own faction

Pelna Khara 3:16 AM he’s very attractive in the north, Lucians like his chances

Tredd Furia 3:16 AM he’s not very forthcoming on any particular chances

Nyx Ulric 3:17 AM Gdi you all have been making hamilton references for a MONTH

Nyx Ulric 3:17 AM Can we get back to the task at hand please

Crowe sighed in exasperation as she scrolled away to more chunks of messages. Before the chat group could spiral into a new brand of trouble and out of its original topic, she finally managed to type her response:

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM libertus ran an errand with the crown prince’s advisor glasses boy

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM anyway

Nyx Ulric 3:19 AM THERE’S OUR FAVORITE MAGE

Pelna Khara 3:19 AM hi crowe moon of our lives

Tredd Furia 3:19 AM our khaleesi is here

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM you guys are fucking idiots

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM ANYWAY wasn’t the captain’s birthday three days ago???

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM pelna you even posted photos on your instagram acct

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM With the caption “today the Big D was born let us rejoice”

Crowe sat up on her bed and waited for a reply, but she later realized that she just unleashed a treasure trove of disaster with her last statement:

Pelna Khara 3:19 AM hey u gotta love that caption

Tredd Furia 3:19 AM and u gotta love the Big D

Nyx Ulric 3:20 AM i know luche does ;)

Luche Lazarus 3:20 AM haha very funny nyx

Tredd Furia 3:22 AM hahahahahahaha nyx gdi i choked on my fucking beer

Pelna Khara 3:22 AM that was some mighty fine dish that got served

Luche Lazarus 3:22 AM u sure u didn’t choke on some big d tredd :)

Tredd Furia 3:22 AM nope. but hey luche

Tredd Furia 3:22 AM ur ass is grass

Tredd Furia 3:22 AM and imma mow it

Axis Arra 3:23 AM eyyyy

Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM LMAO OK SEXUAL TENSION ASIDE

Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM Relax you guys

Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM I know we all love our big captain drautos so much

Crowe Altius 3:24 CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION YOU BAGS OF HELPLESS DICKS

Pelna Khara 3:24 AM as you wish khaleesi forgive our brethren

Pelna Khara 3:24 AM to answer your question: yes, but that party was from the higher ups

Pelna Khara 3:24 AM his actual birthday is tomorrow

Pelna Khara 3:24 AM crowe my sun and stars trust me on this

Luche Lazarus 3:25 AM i can confirm pelna’s statements

Tredd Furia 3:25 AM same

Axis Arra 3:25 AM ^^^

Sonitus Bellum 3:25 AM hi

Nyx Ulric 3:25 AM i confirm pelna’s statements as well

As well? Nyx hated attaching that in any phrase, Crowe remembered, for reasons beyond her. Despite the group’s typical rascally response, Crowe still felt skeptical about the whole affair. With reservation, she decided to give her overthinking head a rest and get along with their shady plan.

She quickly thumbed another message:

Crowe Altius 3:28 AM fine whatever

Crowe Altius 3:28 AM count me in

Crowe Altius 3:28 AM anything i need to do nyx?

She chewed on her lip, praying to the gods that she won’t be assigned with something out of her comfort zone, so she added:

Crowe Altius 3:28 AM and by anything, i mean anything except talking to the other commanding officers and anyone from the lucian council pls

Crowe particularly had a severe dislike talking with her other superiors, specifically Cor, Clarus, and even King Regis himself, after saying something completely inappropriate at a Kingsglaive gala two years prior. After that embarrassment, she sealed everyone outside of her Glaive circle for self-preservation.

The sudden inactivity in the chat group made Crowe want to throw another message for good measure, until Luche broke the momentary radio silence:

Luche Lazarus 3:33 AM more booze

Crowe Altius 3:34 AM right

Nyx Ulric 3:35 AM You’re the best, thanks

Nyx Ulric 3:35 AM Let’s all meet tomorrow at 2pm sharp

Nyx Ulric 3:36 AM I’ll try to stall the captain to give us time for prep

Crowe sank back to her sheets and turned off her phone so she could finally get some decent shut eye without the distraction from the Glaive chat group. She stared at the ceiling, trying to quell the unusual excitement that bubbled up in her chest, until it was brutally ambushed by a feeling that often creeped up on her whenever she started to enjoy any form of happiness.

On occasions such as these, Crowe wondered how celebrating birthdays would feel like. It was not as if she wanted to keep her birthday from everyone else—she just never knew what her actual birth date was. Having brought up as an orphan, she had figured that birthdays were only afforded to people living with their biological parents. Or people with legitimate paperwork. She had neither the luxury of those things. Sometimes, she would look at herself in the mirror, study her face, and scrutinize her chocolate brown hair, her brown eyes, and the angular structure of her cheekbones. Crowe thought that maybe, this was how her mother would have looked like, or her father...

Crowe groaned in disdain. She didn’t need the pity party at this ungodly time. She pulled the sheets over her head as she promptly derailed the depressing train of thought, pressed her eyes shut, and forced herself to sleep.

Crowe did as she was told and brought additional liquor with her on her way to the Kingsglaive HQ. She was pretty certain that alcoholic drinks were prohibited around the Citadel premises, but no one seemed to have caught her, so she just casually marched on toward the hallway. She rounded into a corner, where she saw Nyx standing by the doorway leading to the briefing room, holding his phone close to his ear.

When he saw Crowe approaching, he tucked his phone in his jacket. Nyx nervously beamed, “Hey there!”

Crowe raised an eyebrow out of suspicion. “What are you doing outside? Where are the others?”

Nyx answered, “Well, actually, they’re on their way but Captain Drautos is already coming in any minute—“

“Weren’t you supposed to be the one to keep him occupied?” Crowe asked, narrowing her eyes at Nyx. She had a bad feeling about this.

Nyx held her by the shoulders. “Yes, but change of plans. Look, can you please help holding off on the Captain for a while—“

Crowe instantly shrugged his hands off. “Nope.”

“Please?”

“Not interested.”

“With a cherry on top?”

“Gods, Nyx—you had one job.”

“Alright, fine,” Nyx ceased making any further effort, raising both his hands in casual surrender.

That was surprisingly easy, Crowe thought. If anything, Nyx was persistent, but this...

She let it slide. Crowe rolled her eyes and sauntered past Nyx. She opened the door and—

“Surprise!”

The confetti exploded from the party poppers in myriad of colors, together with the booming voices of the rest of the Glaives. The entire open space of the briefing room was filled with familiar faces—Libertus, Pelna, and Tredd each had a Li’l Malbuddy balloon in their hands, while Axis, Sonitus, and Luche carried a Li’l Malbuddy plush toy. The walls were decorated with scarlet-colored streamers and rows of gold letter balloons.

It took a while for Crowe to register that the balloons spelled a Happy Birthday Crowe! which totally did not make sense to her at all.

“Wait, what’s going on? I thought—guys, is this a fucking prank?” She bewilderedly trailed off. She was about to lash out until she saw Captain Drautos walking towards her, which even added more confusion to this entire event. “Captain?”

Drautos shook his head and addressed the Glaives. “You fools, I told you she wouldn’t get it if I didn’t give this to her first,” he casually smacked Nyx at the back of the head. They all burst out laughing. “Anyway, it’s because of this—“

The captain handed a brown envelope to Crowe, which she flipped open. Inside was a record, a file with her full name and her… birthdate.

Crowe gasped and croaked out the words in disbelief. “Wait, today’s… my birthday?”

“We found your records with Clarus’s help,” Drautos explained. “I regret ever mentioning it to Nyx as soon as I found out—the word spread like wildfire among your peers. It was a surprise that you didn’t find it out, with Nyx being a loudmouthed idiot. Anyway, the Glaives thought of throwing you a surprise party since you’ve never celebrated your birthday with us before—or uh, I’m sorry, I mean, it’s not that you didn’t want—“

“It’s fine, sir,” Crowe stared at the file she was holding. There it was, written in permanent ink: full details of her birthplace and birthdate. It didn’t disclose any info on her biological parents, but Crowe couldn’t care less. She read and reread, helplessly trying to wrap her head around all of this, until all she could say was: “Thank you. Really, guys, thank you—but wait. That thing in the chat was…”

“That was actually Nyx about to spill the beans with his drunken little mouth,” Pelna admitted, stepping closer with the Li’l Malbuddy balloon hovering above his head. The rest of the Glaives followed, gathering around Crowe. Pelna continued, “I was with him so I had to punch him right in the mouth for being dumb. We had a different chat group specifically for Operation Crowe. We humbly thank the gods that Luche was just smooth enough to save that conversation and we all had to improvise to throw you off the scent.”

“Well, someone had to keep you guys in check so you’re welcome,” Luche smugly added. “And by the way, you gotta thank the crown prince’s advisor for this merch. He tipped us off on where to find these.” Luche, Axis, and Sonitus rewarded Crowe with the Li’l Malbuddy plushies.

“You guys were… all together in this?” Crowe asked, and strangely enough, she was genuinely touched by the idea that everyone joined for this effort. She wanted to squeeze everyone into a hug and beat them all up for giving her feelings.

“Of course—everything for our little sister,” Nyx grinned, slinging an arm around Crowe’s shoulders.

“Don’t make me claw your eyes out,” Crowe said, elbowing him on his side that Nyx winced in pain.

“Whatever. Happy birthday, munchkin,” Nyx hugged Crowe. With the thought finally sinking in, tears of utmost happiness began to threaten her eyes. She wanted to punch herself in the face for wanting to cry.

Crowe looked curiously at Nyx, still controlling herself with her happy tears. “So is this why you guys have been acting weird for the past days?”

“See, I told you guys she’ll notice,” Libertus remarked. “Now, give her the damn cake before she starts crying!”

“I’m not crying! There’s just, I don’t know, a rock in my eye...” Crowe sniffed, and the rest of the crew laughed.

Libertus playfully shoved Nyx away from Crowe and wrapped her into a big bear hug. “Happy birthday, Crowe.”

“Thank you guys so much,” Crowe said with a teary-eyed smile on her face.

Roaring fits of laughter bellowed around the room when Pelna finally brought out a ghastly dick-shaped cake with a candle sitting at its tip.

Tredd announced, “So I know Pelna promised a boob cake, but Luche wanted the D—“

“It was the only cake available, asshat—“ Luche interrupted with a sneer. Everyone was still laughing at the atrocity of the confection in front of them.

“Sorry Luche, the D’s not for you,” Pelna teased. “Give this one a blow, baby girl.”

“Oh my god, I hate all of you!” Crowe laughed and cried. When it came to the business of brewing the finest hilarity and crazy antics, Crowe couldn’t trust anyone else aside from her comrades.

Everyone joined in and sang her an equally cheery and drunken happy birthday. And on occasions like these, Crowe found it difficult to permit herself to relish the happiness. But in the company of the people Crowe now considered as family, she finally did—and there was no place in Eos that she would rather be.

#glaiveweek #kingsglaive #final fantasy xv #ffxv #crowe altius #my writing

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sage-nebula · 7 years

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I have to say I'm learning a lot about my self from loving Keith. I've learned that I would be the type of parent to yell at anyone who hurt my son, including the other children. I'm so salty at team Voltron right now, and I will continue to be until i see them apologize. I kinda hope Keith and Lotor get along though.

Fam, you have no idea how salty I am at Team Voltron right now. I’m pretty much Done™ with every single one of them at this point.

Let’s make one thing clear right off the bat: It’s clear that Keith, however much he is expressive and is pretty blunt and honest with what he says, has difficulties connecting with others and communicating with them therefore. I’ve talked before about how Keith seems to have C-PTSD, and how this is more than likely the root cause of difficulties he personally has communicating and connecting with his teammates (and regulating his emotions), given that difficulties forming and keeping interpersonal relationships is one of the symptoms of C-PTSD (as is difficulty with emotional regulation, which doesn’t help things either). If he does have C-PTSD as a result of past abuse / neglect (which as I talk about in that post, has been implied by Steven Yeun at the very least), then it would also explain things such as his tendency to be extremely independent, his tendency to close himself off, et cetera. It would especially explain if he doesn’t realize that he’s doing these things in the moment, and that it really only occurs to him if he takes the time to reflect upon it later. (At which point he’s completely overwhelmed and overcome by this trauma that he has no tools to deal with, i.e., his vlog.)

All of that said, I have difficulty blaming Keith for his “part” in this, because while it is true that he isn’t great at communicating or working with others, the reason he isn’t great is because he has a metric ton of childhood / adolescent trauma that he is dealing with and, as far as we know, has never received help with. There is so much of Keith’s backstory that we don’t know, and part of me wonders if we’ll ever even find out (something tells me Dreamworks won’t allow Joaquim and Lauren to show child abuse on screen, but we’ll see), but at the very least, the Galaxy Garrison doesn’t really seem to be the type of place to have therapists on staff (and since they’re a U.S. based military organization, and mental health care is not something we do for our vets … yeah, I highly doubt they do), and we know that there aren’t any therapists at the Castle. I mention in the linked post above that Shiro seems to have helped Keith at least with the emotional regulation part of it by teaching him the “patience yields focus” mantra, and either Lauren or Joaquim have mentioned before that, on top of being an older brother figure for Keith, Shiro was Keith’s “grounding pillar,” which also lends to the idea that he has done his best to help Keith recover and heal from his trauma, despite not being a therapist himself. (But he was a teacher, a commanding officer, and a mentor to Keith at the very least, on top of probably being found family, so he was still able to help some.) But despite Shiro helping some, that doesn’t change the fact that—again, as far as we know—Keith never received any sort of professional help in recovering from his trauma. This is trauma that spanned adolescence, through his formative years; this is trauma that shaped who Keith is as a person, and how he views the world, and while it is possible to learn techniques that can help one overcome the barriers that C-PTSD hardwires into their brain (speaking from experience), if Keith—an eighteen-year-old boy—has never been taught those techniques, I find it really goddamn difficult to blame him for the difficulties he has communicating and forming relationships with others, especially when it is blatantly obvious that he is trying very hard with what he has, that he’s doing his fucking best, and the others aren’t even trying to meet him halfway.

Because that’s the thing: they aren’t, or at least, most of them aren’t. Shiro did in the first two seasons, and presumably the time that they spent together pre-canon. We see Shiro reach out to Keith with genuine care and support multiple times in the first two seasons, just as Keith reaches out to Shiro. (We also have some choice words from Keith to hint at their relationship prior to canon: “If it wasn’t for you, my life would have been a lot different.” […] “Shiro was the only one who never gave up on me …”) Allura was also the only one who was able to reach Keith when he was grieving Shiro at the start of S3; she was the only one to offer him true support and encouragement for being the new pilot of the Black Lion at multiple points in S3 (and was the only one, iirc, to not berate or drag him in 3x03); and she was also the one who tried to reach out to him at the start of S4, both when she told him that they needed him, and when she questioned—sounding aghast—if the reason why he was pulling away from them was because he didn’t feel fit to be a leader. Both S1/S2!Shiro and Allura have, at the very least, seemingly tried to reach out to him.

But as for the rest? Lance is the absolute worst; I’ve talked about it in other posts before and so I won’t go on and on about it now, but Lance has hated Keith from before day one based purely on an image of Keith he had built up in his head as an arrogant, cocky rival. He has never tried to actually understand or get to know Keith, instead preferring to view him as an obstacle standing between Lance and his desires (which are to be the best, and to be acknowledge by Shiro). The only time this even starts to change is in S3, when Shiro is gone (and Shireplica hasn’t really settled in yet); only then does Lance start to wash away his image of Keith as an obstacle and rival, and start to truly treat him as a comrade and potential friend. However, thanks to Shireplica coming back (and everyone believing that Shireplica = Shiro), that seems to have been completely rewound (again) in S4. Once again, Keith is someone Lance grouses and complains at, someone he doesn’t want to get to know or support. Everything Keith does is automatically wrong, in Lance’s eyes. In fact, there’s a Parks and Recreation quote that works perfectly as an incorrect Voltron: Legendary Defender quote. Here we are:

LANCE: “I wasn’t listening, but I strongly disagree with Keith.”

Building on that, it’s fair to say that Lance’s insistence on viewing Keith as an antagonistic obstacle, someone unlikable and unworthy of getting to know, also strongly influenced Pidge’s and Hunk’s perceptions of him from the get-go. In fact, we know for a fact that this is the case with Hunk, because Tyler Labine said so in an interview following S2:

“I think before I kinda took the side of Lance where I was like you’re … you’re kinda a hotshot, hothead, whatever, you know, and Lance doesn’t like him so I don’t like him, right?Not don’t like him, we get along because we have to, but you know he’s not our favourite person.”

Hunk straight up disliked Keith from the outset because Lance disliked him, and it wasn’t until 2x09 that Hunk’s opinion changed (and even then, he rationalized it by saying that it was Galra!Keith that he liked, rather than just Keith, according to Tyler). While we don’t (as far as I know) have a similar quote on Pidge, it’s worth it to note that Pidge and Keith have never really been shown bonding on-screen, but instead, Pidge was one of the most vocal in S3 and S4 when it came to berating and yelling at Keith, responding very harshly to his leadership when they first fought Lotor at the end of 3x02 (“We need an actual plan!” she screams, when this is Keith’s first official attempt at leadership, they were ambushed, and she doesn’t have a plan either), and never letting up throughout the rest of the episodes, either. On top of this, there have been numerous hints throughout all of the seasons that Pidge has a crush on Lance. Therefore, I think it’s very possible that Pidge—who we know thanks to her, “Wait, who’s Keith?!” remarks in 1x01 never met Keith before the first episode—has taken the approach of, “Lance doesn’t like Keith, but I like Lance, and Lance must have a good reason for not liking Keith, so I’m going to view everything Keith does through a lens of ‘why doesn’t Lance agree with this’.” It’s not the most mature approach to take, but Pidge is a fifteen-year-old girl with a crush on a boy. Even teenage prodigies can be a bit childish and illogical at times.

So right from the get-go, Lance didn’t like Keith because he had built up an image of Keith in his head as being some terrible obstacle that he had to overcome, and Hunk and Pidge never gave Keith a fair shake either because Lance didn’t like him. Considering the fact that Steven Yeun has said that Keith is the only one whose “difficult family history” has affected the way that he is, we can reasonably assume that none of them have the same C-PTSD-induced problems with emotional regulation and forming interpersonal relationships that Keith does. In fact, we know they don’t, or else they’d have the same difficulties connecting with others that he does, and they very obviously don’t. So instead of having their brains wired in a way that makes it actually difficult for them to reach out to and connect with others as a result of prolonged trauma throughout childhood and adolescence, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk are refusing to make attempts to bridge the gap and connect with Keith because they simply don’t want to.

Then we have the others. As established, Shiro did make these attempts in the first two seasons. However, in S3 and S4, “Shiro” doesn’t. He’s dismissive of Keith, uses emotionally abusive language (“I’m sorry I had to step in back there”), and even when he seems like he’s going to support him, he takes it back almost immediately (e.g. “Yes, you can [be a leader]” … “You’ll get there someday” — like, which is it? Make up your damn mind). Rather than trying to talk to Keith about why he’s spending more time with the Blade of Marmora in S4, he instead just scolds him for it like he’s a disobedient child, because Keith’s feelings and motivations don’t matter to him (anymore). Keith’s results are all that matter to him. And yes, this is a stark contrast from how Shiro used to treat him previously, because in 2x08 Shiro asked Keith why he yelled at everyone back at the Castle. (“What happened back there?”) He cared about Keith’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations then. Now, he doesn’t. He says he’ll support Keith, but he doesn’t exactly care to listen to Keith’s reasons. Half the time he won’t even spare him the courtesy of looking at him. This is why I find it so immensely difficult to believe that this is the real Shiro, and why I say “Shiro would never treat Keith like this,” because it is a direct contrast to how Shiro used to treat him. And if Dreamworks comes out and says that this is the real Shiro, and that this is supposedly IC? First of all, that’s nonsense, but second of all, I’m livid, because of all the people in that Castle, Shiro is the only one who (presumably) knows Keith’s history, and therefore should know how to talk to Keith, how to reach him, and why it’s important to do so. Hell, even Shireplica supposedly has Shiro’s memories, so he should know as well. The fact that he knows and apparently doesn’t care is a huge problem to me, and a huge impediment to me liking him, but regardless, I’d rather it be Shireplica than Shiro. I’d rather not believe that the real Shiro cares more about results than reasons, that the real Shiro cares more about piloting the Black Lion than he does whether or not Keith feels like he’s part of the team. Either way, the “Shiro” in S3 and S4 clearly doesn’t want to try to reach Keith, either. He makes absolutely no attempt to truly reach out to him, at all. Because trust me, if he did? If he did genuinely try to listen to Keith instead of shutting him down time and again? Keith would have responded. In fact, Keith tried multiple times to talk to “Shiro” and was rebuffed every time. The problem wasn’t Keith in this particular relationship. The problem was “Shiro”.

As for Allura and Coran, well, I can’t remember ever seeing Keith and Coran so much as have a conversation, much less bond. Allura did try, as mentioned above. Even in that fake af goodbye scene (more on that in a second), she questioned if the reason why he pulled away was because he felt he wasn’t worthy of being the leader. She wanted to hear what he was thinking and feeling. She tried to reach out to him, she clearly did care (as also demonstrated in 4x01 when she saw him in the crowd and her face just falls with sadness and worry) … but because their relationship has been on such a slow burn, Allura still doesn’t know him very well yet either. This is particularly true since they went through such a rough patch in S2, when Allura’s prejudices made her act coldly toward him for a while after she found out about his heritage. (Though before anyone starts hating on Allura, remember that she learned and grew from that, so don’t hate on her, thanks.) Thus, though she does try to reach out to him in S4, she can’t do so from a standpoint of a strong and familiar bond. She’s not someone that Keith has really opened up to yet. He does answer her question genuinely, but it’s too late, and she recognizes that.

And yeah, that goodbye scene was fake as hell. Pidge says that they’re going to miss him, but since when? Again, we’ve never seen Keith and Pidge bond, and Pidge was one of the most vocal team members when it came to shredding him for his leadership decisions. Lance says, “Who am I going to make fun of?” as if that would ever be a reason to get anyone to stay, and as if Lance himself didn’t make it pretty clear near the end of S3 that the only reason why he’d choose to spend any time talking to Keith alone is because Keith was the leader, not because they were friends. “Shiro” says that they’re always there for him, and Keith does accept this with a smile, but considering the fact that “Shiro” has been shutting him down and refusing to listen to him ever since his “return”, I find that hard to believe (especially since Keith himself feels that he’s not needed, and didn’t remember any of them when he was about to sacrifice himself in 4x06). And while I can’t say anything about what Hunk and Allura said (and Coran didn’t say anything), I can point out that not a single goddamn one of them missed him AT ALL in the episodes that followed. Setting aside how they were all very willing to let him go off on a mission that could last for weeks or more without a fight, we didn’t get one single instance of them thinking about or mentioning Keith in the episodes that followed. Pidge didn’t mention him at all to Matt when she was showing him around the Castle (when a, “Oh … and this was Keith’s room” downcast moment would have put more truth behind her “we’re really going to miss you” statement from the goodbye). Allura seemed genuinely disgruntled about having to play Keith in the stupid show, and Coran said “just be really moody” as if that summed up Keith’s entire personality. None of them said anything to him (and he didn’t have any dialogue either) when they were talking to Kolivan and Keith in 4x05. Like, say what you will about the four episodes that Shiro wasn’t present in S3, but he was constantly being brought up, the team was constantly talking about how they missed him. By contrast, not a single damn member of Team Voltron gave a fucking fuck that Keith was gone. Allura, Coran, “Shiro”, Pidge, Lance, Hunk—none of them missed him at all. And yeah, all things considered, that really pisses me off.

Because again: I can understand why Keith has difficulties communicating and connecting with the rest of the team, but he also tries regardless. In 1x01 he says “it’s been an honor flying with you boys” despite barely knowing any of them outside of Shiro. In 1x05 (I think—might have been 1x04) he was genuinely upset when Lance walked back their “bonding moment” because he thought they were really going to make progress as teammates and potential friends. He genuinely and warmly welcomes Pidge back to the team, he tries to protect Allura from the Arusian’s “strongest warrior”, he laughs with Hunk at the party, he encourages Hunk in the Weblum (despite Hunk making microaggressions against his galran heritage for the entire episode), he seems genuinely disappointed when Lance says that he has only come to talk to Keith because Keith is the leader now in S3, and so on and so forth. Yes, Keith has difficulties connecting and communicating as a result of prolonged trauma in his formative years that have shaped how he has grown as a person, and yes, as far as we know he has never been taught how to deal with this. However, he’s still trying, he’s still doing his best, he makes legitimate efforts to connect with Team Voltron.

But they do not give him that same courtesy. Lance refuses to like him right from the start, and Hunk and Pidge follow his lead. Allura tries to balance friendship with being the princess / commander, and her relationship with Keith hits a brief rough patch when she learns of his heritage (that she then tries to work through). Coran and Keith are never in the same room alone together from what I recall, and while Shiro did try in S1 and S2, when he “returns” in S3, that effort is completely gone. He no longer wants to listen to what Keith has to say until Keith says he is leaving, and only then does he decide not to argue it (whereas all of Keith’s attempts at leadership were met with disagreement and shut downs, hmmm …).

So yeah, I’m pissed as all hell at Team Voltron. To be quite honest, they don’t fucking deserve Keith at this point. Especially considering the farcical nonsense in 4x04, he’s too good for them, and I hope he stays with the Blade of Marmora for a while. At least Kolivan shows him some basic respect and consideration. And I, too, hope that Keith and Lotor end up getting along. The last thing I want is for Lotor to join the coalition since the coalition seems to have Shireplica in the commander’s seat, but I do think it’d be neat as all hell to see him join the Blade of Marmora, and to have Keith be one of the Marmorites testing him. That would finally give us our Keith vs. Lotor swordfight, too.

We’ll have to see what happens, but yeah. At this point, I think Team Voltron owes Keith six apologies. They sure as hell better line the fuck up.

(don’t reblog this, please. I do NOT want Discourse™, at all, thanks.)

#starlightprincess17 #this got so long but fam i'm SO mad at them rn #SO FURIOUS #literally fuck all of them for real #they better beg for him to come back #i'll accept nothing less #meta #voltron #voltron spoilers #vld4 spoilers #keith kogane #takashi shirogane #shireplica #princess allura #coran #hunk #lance #pidge

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stardust-lightning · 6 years

Text

Starchild: Dream Maker Chapter 7 - A Paintbrush Wand and Some Blue Lightning

So these are the Nightmare Spirits? They’re creepy as heck and they haven’t done anything yet besides standing around and staring at us with those creepy grins that would put the Cheshire Cat to shame. So what do we do now…?

We wait in tense anticipation for something, anything to happen.

The Nightmare Spirits begin to come closer and closer to the crowd of terrified townsfolk, their maniacal giggling becoming laughter and more sinister. The crowd starts to condense and compact together. Some people even have their weapons drawn out, mostly daggers and knives but some even have guns like rifles. I instinctively take out my paint-brush wand, prepared to attack. The Nightmare Spirit on top of the building ledge raises its left arm as if to command the others, and as it does so, blood-red markings form on its body.

It then drops its arm down and all hell breaks loose.

Chaos ensues as the Nightmare Spirits pounce and the ones with weapons attack with what they got while the defenseless run away and hope to escape. I clutch my paint-brush wand and Zero clings to me as the tiny war rages on all around us, offering us no means to escape. I snap to my left and see one Nightmare Spirit charge toward us. Without thinking, I flick my paint-brush wand in its direction, which causes three tiny silver darts to shoot out and hit it in the head. This causes the Nightmare Spirit to dissolve into tiny specks of black powder.

I was not expecting the paint-brush to work like it did.

“How did you do that!?” Zero asked, obviously amazed.

“Fam’, I don’t even know what I just did.”

“LOOK OUT!” Zero yells.

I snap around to the right to see three Nightmare Spirits like the last one. Zero is already on it, as he jumps out with his hands up and out in front of him as to hold back the ambush. Out of the blue, thin, blue lightning bolts zap out of his hands and electrocutes the trio of demons, causing them to also dissolve into black powder. We are understandably shocked at our newfound abilities.

“Dude...that was AWESOME!!! Did you know that you could do that!?” I ask Zero, whose wide eyes give me my answer that he doesn’t.

“N-No...”

“Let’s try to take down the rest of them!”

“Okay!” He gives me a little smile that beams determination.

Back to back, we have each other’s back as we zap and beam out the enemies. I take a broad diagonal swipe of my paint-brush wand and it makes a nice slash to slice five Nightmare Spirits at once. Zero takes a running leap and launches an electric spear that explodes some Nightmare Spirits in their faces and dissolve them. This continues several more minutes until they begin to retreat and fly out of town. Zero turns around to my direction and the remaining people gather to our spot. With their quick travel, we wouldn’t be able to catch up with them. We watch as they flee in terror out of town and out of sight, watching the dust of the street swirl up and then settle again. Pueblo Terracotta is quiet save for the hushed voices of those who come from their hiding place and see the wreckage the chaos in town.

“Where did they go?”

“Is everyone alright?”

“What were those things?”

Everyone questions each other and those around them. I can see Santiago and Elena pushing through the crowds I guess to find us. They break through and meet up with us at the decimated apartment complex. Their faces are understandably worried.

“Airika, Zero! ¿Le hicieron daño?”

“We’re fine.” Zero calmly tells them.

“That. Was. AWESOME!!!!”

“So what now?”

“That was only just the beginning, my dears.” A familiar high-pitched voice speaks out.

Out of the crowd walks Celestial Gatekeeper Rhiannye in biblical clothing, in a long, navy-blue tunic with a silver shawl wrapped around the head and draped down. The most striking feature is the elaborate woven designs on her tunic and shawl depicting flowers and vines. The crowd parts out of respect for her and she trudges to where we’re standing. Her stormy gray eyes are still as lively as ever.

“Gatekeeper Rhiannye! I thought you were in Plasmatio?”

“I am not, as you can see. I’ve sealed off the Gate to prevent any Nightmare Spirits from passing through, however, the seal is a weak one, so my time here is limited.”

“Why are you here then?” I ask her.

“I came to bestow you with knowledge and equipment. First things first, the Nightmare Spirits that you just battled are the weakest of the bunch. The power of the Spirits are measured by the color and placement of their markings: no markings show that they are the grunts, which are the ones that you saw. Your destinations with be highlighted by a bright blue marker to signify any of the seven Archdemons on the Dreamscape Map. Fret not, for along the way, you may find some company to partake in the journey with you. Now onto equipment. Judging your unpracticed Elementalist ability, Zero, I have these to aid you until you can control the elements safely and effectively.” Rhiannye explains as she helps Zero put on what looks like simple gauntlets made of straps attached to a circular device, “These are Elementalist Gauntlets, used by Elementalists to aid in battle. As I have said, these help control your powers until you are strong enough to control them. Right now, you power is inhibited, which can be extremely dangerous. Wear these for now.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Zero simply replied.

“Mortal Airika, I’ve not forgotten you. You are already in possession of your greatest weapon, which is your sketchbook. It is detailed with maps, character descriptions and other information that you and Zero will need. Your paint-brush wand is responsible for summoning anything in your sketchbook from weapons to backup. Don’t lose it.”

“I won’t.” I nod, assuring her.

“One last thing: you’re probably curious about the silver substance in the glass bottle.”

I am, actually. I root through the satchel to pull out the mercury-like substance and hand it to her. She uncaps it and lets the silvery substance form into her hand.

“Be careful with this. It may not look like it, but this is actually stardust.”

Wait a second, THIS is stardust?

“This stardust is of the rarest kind and contain many magical properties. Perhaps you may find some use with it. Use it wisely.”

“Okay.”

“My time here is up. I must get back to the Courtyard. Destroy the Archdemons before the crumbling destruction reaches the heart of the Dreamscape known as Cordis. If the dark forces of the Nightmare realm reach Cordis and destroy it, the Dreamscape will collapse and everything here will be no more. You have a little time left. Act quickly. Dominus tecum.” Gatekeeper Rhiannye warns as she fades into a blinding light and in a flash, she is gone.

Zero looks over his new gauntlets as I mull over her words. Zero flexes his hands to get used to the feeling; it’s not an unpleasant feeling. I snap out of it and take my sketchbook out to see the Map that Rhiannye mentioned earlier. Zero joins me at my side and looks over my shoulder as I turn the pages to the Map.

The ink outline of the land forms on the pages and the names follow. As Rhiannye mentioned previously, the markers flare up to a bright blue to indicate the seven Archdemons with the closest one just out of town with the image of a stone cavern in front of a patch of a forest. The name that forms reads:

Foraoise Dhraíochta

“Foraoise Dhraíochta.”

“What?”

“Foraoise Dhraíochta. It’s Irish for ‘enchanted forest’.”

“Oh.”

“It’s not far from here, see, it’s out just past town.” I say, pointing to the spot.

“I see it!”

“By the way, I’ve just got one question.”

“Yeah?”

“You game to go on an adventure and save the universe?”

I watch as Zero’s eyes lit up and he gasps as he nods excitedly. I’ll take this as a yes.

#What's this?#A new update after a 5 month hiatus?#Believe it!#Starchild #Dream Maker #my writing #Star On The Mic!

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