#where the fuck did that come from
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this is. so porny. but.
best friend chrissy sitting on your bed w you, complaining about how god awful jason is at sex, while you flip through the channels on your shitty tv, the two of you having a sleepover while your parents are out of town. you accidentally turn on one of the porn channels, in the middle of a VERY graphic lesbian movie, and in your shock you drop the remote and it falls somewhere under your bed. you dive over chrissy looking for the remote, ass up while you search. meanwhile, chrissy is mesmerized by the way the actress onscreen eats the other out, their hair colors shockingly similar to the two of you. and then she sees you kneeling on your floor, back arched as you finally retrive the remote. chrissy moves forward, grabbing your wrist to stop you from changing it.
“i wanna try that.” she tells you, soft voice dropping in pitch, big innocent eyes blown wide with lust. and then, that’s when you notice that the strawberry blonde one is the one between the other’s legs.
warnings: honestly not a lot, chrissy being the best girl ever, pussy eating to the nth degree, cheating (get fucked jason), dirty talk
“y-you want to — really?”
your voice sounds far away and you have to snap yourself back to reality when chrissy’s grip on your wrist tightens. she seems almost as enamored with the tv as you are with her.
chrissy nods slowly, big blue eyes wide and curious. pleading.
“you…you always told me girls are better at it than boys are,” she murmurs, hand slipping from your wrist to grasp at your hand, “and — and you told me chance is bad at it. so let me try? m-maybe i’ll be better…”
she trails off, gnawing at her bottom lip while she looks at you. her wide eyes and pouty lips make her look so innocent you think you’re going to combust.
this is wrong, you think to yourself. chrissy has a boyfriend, even if you hated him more than you hated your own, the two of you could never be together (even though you’d had a crush on her for ages), she’d probably regret it in the morning, you—
“…you can teach me, can’t you? please?”
fuck it.
you swallow down the lump in your throat and nod, “y-yeah, fuck, c’mere, pretty girl—“
you shuffle on the bed so you can lay against the pillows with your legs spread, your pretty silk pj shorts suddenly suffocating.
chrissy’s so eager to please; she nods obediently and immediately scampers to slot herself in between your legs. prettily manicured hands fingers bring your shorts and panties to the side, and then she freezes. she’s shaking, blue eyes flicking up to meet yours. she has no clue what she’s doing and your pussy is so pretty — she’s nervous.
“s-stick your tongue out, baby— y-yeah, holy shit, just like that, oh my go—“ your hand shoots up to fist in those strawberry blond strands, the girl’s tongue timid and soft against your folds. so sweet.
“go a little…a little harde— fuck, baby, yes, swipe that sweet little tongue across my clit, j-just like that—“ you whimper, gasping. you involuntarily pull her forward, at the same time bucking your hips up to meet her mouth. it’s fucking heavenly.
you don’t even have to tell her what to do next, her plush lips wrapping around the pearl and sucking hard. you cry out, eyes squeezing shut.
she pulls off for a second, blowing cool air over your clit and giggling when your legs jerk. bright blue eyes blink up at you slowly, half lidded and hazy, “u-use me, please? want you to…want you to cum in my mouth. want to…want to be a good girl.”
chrissy needs praise. you don’t know how you didn’t clock that before. it sends you into some animalistic overdrive and you nod. how could you say no to something so precious?
“yeah, pretty girl, fuck, get in here—“ you push her back down and she lets you, humming into your cunt obediently and swirling her tongue around your clit before wrapping her lips around the bud and sucking again.
this time she flicks her tongue against you as she sucks, soft hands running up and down your thighs as she does. your hips are bucking wildly now, grinding up into that hot little mouth and whining as you do.
“such a good fuckin’ girl, so pretty, gonna make me c-cum, oh my god—“ you should be embarrassed by how high-pitched your voice is, how quickly you’re going to cum, and you probably would be later, but your orgasm is barreling towards you and you can’t bring yourself to care.
all it takes is those pretty eyes blinking up at you through long lashes and that knot in your tummy snaps, your back arching as tears fall down your cheeks. it feels so good you’re shaking — you realize it’s been far too long since you’ve had a real orgasm.
“s-so good, shit, my good girl, god — take it, take it—“ you hump her face through your orgasm, cunt fluttering and spasming. it’s too good. chrissy keeps sucking your cunt like the perfect girl she is.
your legs shake, chest heaving as you come down from your high. you pet at her hair absentmindedly, eyes half lidded.
she pulls off with a wet pop, resting a soft cheek on the fat of your thigh and looking up at you with a giggle, “was that good?”
she’s got stars in her eyes. you only nod, running your fingers through pretty strawberry locks, “s-so good. where the hell did you learn all that? use me? be a good girl? are you insane, cunningham?”
she’s embarrassed, pale cheeks flushing bright red when she replies, “i—i remember how you used to talk about the girls you’d be with…wanted to try it out. i think i like it…”
you groan. she’s perfect.
“fuck, you’re unreal — get up here and let me return the favor or i’m gonna die.”
you grin as she nods eagerly. fuck you, carver, you think, hands already gripping at her hips and lowering her down onto your tongue.
#wow#where the fuck did that come from#chrissy cunningham x reader#chrissy cunningham x fem!reader#chrissy cunningham x y/n#stranger things x reader#stranger things smut#chrissy cunningham smut
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WHOA THERE, MASTER OF RIZZ
#where the fuck did THAT come from#out of fucking left field my dude#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall we date#obey me satan#satan#obey me texts
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I know they were joking about it in the adventuring party but could you imagine if Hob actually dies to Apollo next episode?
I get muscle contractions of anguish just by thinking about it
An unreceived love confession in shreds burning a hole through Wuvvy’s front pocket as she watches Rue, her best friend, the person she loves most in the world, the person she doesn’t know at all anymore, cradle Hob’s blighted body.
A twinge of something too sentimental in Squak’s chest as he hears Andhera’s sobs into Binx’s chest.
Chirp trying to read the look on Suntar’s face, did you know, did you plan this?
Apollo, among his friends, among the people, who could think he, a prince, would do such a thing?
#acofaf#a court of fey and flowers#battlemaster of ceremonies#kp hob#where the fuck did that come from#i didn’t know where I was going when I started this post#now I wanna write an a Gary fic where Hob fucking dies#or almost or something#oooooo
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I'm still so stuck on Tommy's dumb skit thing. If Q's portrayal thing was "so accurate" like people are saying it was, why is he the only one with a server?
#he literally says 'okay well you can do that too then' or some shit in the video like ????#where the fuck did that come from
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🃏
…
*Broken, raw screaming*
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Phlox really just asked Archer how long its been since he fucked. alright.
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Do anyone elses dreams go from "Oh my god I'm going to fuckin die" to "what in a 12-year-old-girls-self-insert-wattpad-fanfiction is this" or is it just me
#dreams#what the fuck#why are my dreams so weird#Mr. Morpheus explain yourself#but naw fr#I once dreamt I got stabbed in the head by 3 individual knives and everything is starting to fade to black and I'm shitting myself#but then 10 seconds later I'm having lunch with my dad who is for some reason Kai from Kun Fu Panda#like girl#where the fuck did that come from#should i be concerned#Anywho#wierd dreams#why did i dream this
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Okay, no, one last thing. That “there’s no way in hell I would fall in love with either of you” was such a r/menwritingwomen moment. Like. Yeah. Yeah, we know. Every person who’s paid two minutes of attention to that poor overworked woman is aware. Thanks for reminding us, I guess?
#where the FUCK did that come from#i'm offended on her behalf man#she has so much better taste than that#imagine if out of the blue nami said she'd never fall in love with luffy or zoro#we'd all be like ????? okay?? wasn't she banging wanda anyway?#if anything shoko and utahime were/are suspiciously chummy with each other#tacky ramblings
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He should date an angel. He should date......Michael.
STARES INTO THE VOID.
#WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM#//not neg iM JUST SHOCKED#m.ichael probably doesn't wanna get human on him#he heard a.dam brag too much abt nutting in eve back in e.den#suggestive.#based on tags
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Okay. So like… Every person has individual scent, yeah? That would mean that the aroma is lost when the person die. And now to think when someone feels safe with the person who carry the scent or because they like it. Then when the person is gone the source of the scent is gone. That mean the aroma will disappear from the world and all the people who new this person will never smell them no where again.
I don't know… but that is not okay. And i don't like it.
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ETHEL CAIN SONG IN CHUCK SEASON TWO
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Just got the urge to change all my online handles to Sprimps.
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what hell was i on last night
#joey rambling#if god sees fit for me to die then i will not care about god????#where the fuck did that come from#christ i think this is the first time i've ever acted like that about a character i like
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18+; mdni / husband!john price x afab!reader
all I'm saying is that husband!price would slip a dildo in you before sliding your snug little panties back on. he'd lay back on the couch with a cigar and a newspaper, watching you do your little housewife chores while he knows that your panties are getting more soaked by the minute.
he'd notice every small breath and whimper escaping your lips. he'd notice the way you'd squeeze your thighs together every now and then, and the knit of your brows as you'd try your best to focus on chopping vegetables for dinner.
he'd know the feeling to be driving you mad: the feeling of your pussy being so full, all while it wasn't enough. how could it be when it wasn't him pumping in and out of your soaked cunt?
he, too, would only be able to take so much of it. the shaking of your hands would only keep on increasing, until price would finally close his distance to you and gently push aside whatever adorable attempts at cooking you had managed to get done.
he'd gently slide your panties down your thighs.
gently bend you over the kitchen counter of your home as his fingers would wrap around the base of the plastic toy.
fucking torturous, all while so goddamn good as he'd begin to slide it in and out of you. so slow: slow enough to get you begging in no time. so deep: deep enough to fuck you straight to the edge of your orgasm.
"not so fast, sweetheart." his breath against your skin would be warm with his chuckle. "my wife does not come around a fuckin' piece of plastic."
faster than you'd realize, price would slide the dildo out and replace it with his cock. so much better, wasn't it?
so much deeper: his little wife made to be stretched around him; to be fucked silly in their kitchen, all pretty and domestic in their little apron.
"there you go, darling wife. all fuckin’ mine."
#SCREAMING where the fuck did this come from nobody judge me#john price x reader#price x reader#captain john price x reader#husband!price#john price smut#john price x you
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i dont mknow if this was a crazy dream i had but i posted this bideo onto youtube and it was about listening to dazey and the scouts and being a sewer rat and they posted it on the insta and then i showed off to my friend about it and she started cryin(g???? im sorry
#dazey and the scouts#was this a dream#if it was i dont even smoke weed#where the fuck did that come from
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Wait is Omegaverse still hot, or is it just cliche now? Do people even read and write that shit anymore? Like, didn’t we leave that genre in 2018 with Superwholock or whatever?
#i must have been drunk or high#because i made a list of kinks to write for a certain ship#and somehow the word omegaverse is on that list#where the fuck did that come from
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