#when we're alone we're lost
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Honestly would absolutely love it if the Percy Jackson show incorporated some of the songs from the Percy Jackson Musical into their instrumentals. Imagine how awesome that'd be.
#if they can use a cover of riptide surely they can use a few notes or instrumentals from the actual Percy Jackson Musical#I also heard that one of the main people behind the musical score from the musical was recruited for the show so I'm hoping!#like how cool would it be to hear 'we're lost in the woods somewhere in New Jersey' when they actually ARE lost in the woods in the tv show#wouldn't that be a nice way to pay hommage to the musical???#which for so many fans was the only 'book accurate' adaptation we had for the longest time?#not to mention of course that the songs alone are absolute BANGERS!!!!!#fingers crossed 🤞#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson musical#percy jackson tv show#percy jackson trailer#music#disney+
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The Curse of Callie Hartwell
#OC AUs that are dead serious are fun and all but i like it when i have a sandbox AU thats just for funny haha playtime#this is that#TGAMM AU but its about callie hartwell and the demons#can't believe youre all mine ; together now for all time#we're never ever ever gonna be alone again#the dream team we will be ; for all eternity#it's the curse it's the curse of callie hartwell#(i came from above / i came from hell)#now youuuuu're a hartwell!#our souls can never be unbound ; (i wish we were six feet underground)#yeah its the curse its the curse of callie hartwell#we're a team! ; (well we'll see)#WOOOO the curse of callie hartwell [guitar riff]#- yeah i've been drafting that theme song for aaaages#its my autism and i get to decide to Haveing fun laughter and enjoy#my art#OC stuff#Hartwin (OC; Lost River)#callie hartwell (oc; world's edge)#Diamante Iradine (OC; World's Edge)
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i will make a few random posts and dm one mutual to say smth nice to them and then sit here feeling like i've just ruined my entire life and everything is about to come crashign down around me. HGELP.
#slash joke for the help. nobody can help w this HDSFGJSKL#but the rest of it is slash srs unfortunately SIGH.#me: i will DM this mutual to say nice words to them bc i dont want them feeling alone in xyz thing#me immediately after doing that: oh my god i think i should be put to death. nobody should ever talk to me ever actually#and then if/when they respond i'll be like. oh okay. maybe i was overreacting. maybe its okay.#and then end up still feeling kind of scared afterwards LMAO#(if we're mutuals and/or friends and i never dm u its bc i am so fucking scared of saying smth wrong that i just avoid talking altogether)#(but if u dm me first then i WILL respond most of the time. if i dont respond its bc i got too scared or lost track of the memory dsgjkl)#(i am working on this though bc i know it sucks to reach out to ppl and have them not respond !!! u can always nudge me in DMs!)#(also if i never reach out first its bc i tend to assume everyone hates DMs for some reason and so i get scared im gonna annoy u HFDSJKL)#HEY TEAM I THINK MAYBE MY BRAIN IS LIKE. NOT NORMAL. FJDSKL#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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More like IF I come back amirite, also stop making me feel guilty, also learn to spell (paralegal? Parallel? ...never mind doesn't parramatta), also like it's my fault she hires 53 accountants that can only do accounting and 1 admin person to send out the tax returns and invoices and
#this whole thing makes me mad#like I'm sorry okay i didn't want this to happen#other people are mad at me too and have to fly to Sydney alone and sit next to strangers at Taylor and#I'm letting down more important people than one little suburban accounting firm#like my parents have to deal with a week where all three of their kids are going through stuff#plus my nana needs stuff as well#and Charlotte needs looking after but she's got her childcare and the other grandparents but still everything's a mess#and then there's my housemate i mean she's okay i hope i didn't infect her and if so thank God i didn't infect her BEFORE taylor#no idk all round it's a pretty shit situation#Sophia have some perspective#oh and Collingwood just lost to norf Melbourne#Angus Brayshaw retired#There are no rules anymore it's all chaos and anarchy and we're living in the unknown#tom Phillips is at Carlton#Trent bianco has disappeared off the side of the earth and his mother has every mystic in the country looking for him#and I'm just alone watching modern family episodes trying to remember how Haley and Andy get together#when he's sitting outside the wedding in a taxi asking Haley if she meant a specific person or just in general#and Haley's crying because she wants him and finds him funny and cute but Alex told her off for having a crush on him and getting involved#fuck Alex#anyway where was i#oh yeah i don't know#discussing IF i come back and not when#wait no#i don't know#I've lost the plot
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Late Night Thoughts With Achi: Consider- the reason humans yearn for sapient life out amongst the stars is because after evolving alongside other sapient species from our genus they've all been gone for like 40k years and we're lonely.
#we had other close members of homo around for so long#most of our evolution#and then they all just died off#and the closest thing we've got is the fuckers over in pan#and it's just not the same#i propose humanity yearns to have another sapient species around because we lost the ones we had before#i mean picture it from the perspective of ancient humans#you grow up around these fuckers and you start seeing less and less of them#and they're just- they've always been there you've been undergoing cultural exchanges and your cousin's grandma was one and so on#but there's fewer of them when you're young#and fewer when your kids are#your great-grandkids never see one#but they're still remembered they're still talked about#they become a remnant in the memory of a species#and even though nobody ever sees one of them again they know they should be out there somewhere#and even millennia later- when we've trawled the world and know for a fact that we're all that's left#we look to the sky and go 'there has to be someone out there somewhere'#there just has to be#because we didn't used to be alone#they were *family* they were *there*#there has to be someone#....damn that got emotional there...
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cannot stop thinking about yungi youth mv
#like what if i throw up#it's about the trauma and the tiredness and picking yourself back up and moving on it's about friendship and home#they lost sight of each other when they were so focused on themselves and their own shit#the shot of mingi in front of the mirrors where the center one is himself and the rest are yunho with his back towards him like !!!!!!!!!!!!#their old coping mechanisms not working#mingi used to use music to shut out the world so he could be alone but now it brings him back to yunho but yunho isn't THEREEEEE#yunho picked up his lore!brother's guitar bc it had been his dream before he died and he was grieving him but here he's smashing it on the-#-wrecked car the thing that took his brother away from him#and u can SEE yunho dancing in the burning house even in the 2 different sets u see flames through the windows#and mingi is watching the cabin burn alone until yunho walks into frame and we can breathe bc he's no longer trapping himself in that house#AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE TURNS TO MINGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII#IT'S LIKE. WE'RE BOTH HERE. WE MADE IT AND WE'RE STILL TOGETHER.#gonna puke. idk if anything i've said makes sense it's after midnight and my head is a jumble they just got me feeling a lot#it's about the loneliness it's about the grief it's about watching ur past in third person it's about returning to yourself in the present#mingi i love u forever and ever. his lyrics have always hit the hardest like he Gets me#god this is just such a fever era song so ofc i'm obsessed like the lyrics in that series just fuckin HIT#they talk abt how hard and lonely and scary and confusing and tiring it is growing up and i start thrashing and clawing at the walls#how wonderful to not only be alive at the same time as atz but to be the same age & have similar experiences so their music feels like a hug#like. i'm not alone huh#ANYWAY. did not come here with the intention of saying anything in the tags i was just gonna post that picture but alas#kara can talk
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okay the thing about the compilation i posted earlier was like. initially. i had planned for it to be very different. and then i was listening to the bit where the boobs hear the prayers for them and i went. fuck. having moonshine answer him when he was at his lowest is what saved beverly. it's what helped him make the choice to stand up and be a hero. when he hears the prayers of the people of bahumia, when they are asking for help in their hour of need, of course he responds, of course he gives them an answer. "we are here. we are here for you."
#i'm going absolutely insane over here lmao#the initial compilation Idea was more focused on bev's fight with his dad#but then i lost my mind because like#moonshine doesn't SAY 'i'm here. i'm here for you.'#but that's like the spirit of what she says!!!#'youngin i want you to know i will love you no matter what you choose to do'#(i'm here with you. you're not alone.)#it's. god.#caldwell SAYS on the short rest for 80 that if he hadn't reached moonshine#bev would've gone with his dad#and it's so!!! fucking!!!! god!!!!!!!!#bev's answer when he hears the prayers isn't 'we'll save you'#it's. 'we're here. we're here for you.'#i'm in shambles and i haven't even GOTTEN to that episode in my relisten yet help#hanbles#naddplog
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still heartbroken but cannot move
#i've understood a good while ago that kurdish people are alone in their suffering more than any other muslim people#i suppose bc our biggest oppressor being turkey which is such a beloved country among muslims just erases our struggle#bc any other oppressed muslim people i can think of are suffering either in the hands of non muslim nations or their own corrupt governments#so it gives them a lot more ''credibility''. like there are rules to oppression with credentials you have to meet in order to be valid#in order for your oppression your persecution the distruction of you home(land) the cultural genocide you experience to be valid and real#and cared about by the general muslim population. i have honestly and genuinely not seen any more silence than when it was about us#from the muslim community. i have to time and time again watch how people side with turkey praise their actions eat up their propaganda#and the lost lives arent lost lives but we're lying about them#and no matter how often this pattern is repeated and our very real suffering invalidated and thus ignored#it still shatters my heart an unspeakable amount when i witness it#especially when i then watch the muslim community condemn other nations for the same crimes turkey commits against the kurdish people#turkey does no wrong is the common narrative. and i always feel so lonely in my grief#i still remember october 2019 when trump withdrew the troops from rojava & gave turkey the green light to invade#they inflicted and still inflict immerusable suffering in the region. they bombed them only last week#i remember 4 years ago my mom on the phone with a friend who had fled from the region due to the syrian war#i remember her silently crying on the phone with my mom. she was on speaker. we cried with her#she was as helpless as we were just watching the news about turkey wreaking havoc. she still had family there#and this is just the smallest fraction of what turkey and inflicted upon the kurdish people. but of course it's all fake. we fabricate it#bc we're bored. our tears are fake our families getting bombed are lying. and turkey can do no wrong.#nesi rants
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#tw: death#tw: grief#personal#I lost both of my parents a few years back#first my dad and two years later my mom#when my mom passed her sister sort of stepped in to be like an extra mom and an extra grandma to all my kids#she's a really lovely woman#she calls on birthdays#she checks in every now and then#we live far apart and don't see much of each other#but we keep in touch and i love her very much#and now my cousin called me to tell me that my aunt is very sick#she has heart failure and it's not a matter of 'if' she will pass but 'when'#i feel gutted#there is no one left for me to lean on in this world#i'm all alone#and i'm so sad for my cousins cause they lost their dad 10 years ago and now they're losing their mom#we're all adults#but you're never ready to lose your parents I think
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I feel like people sometimes forget that janelle has been radical, gender nonconforming, and an epic storyteller from the start \o/ this SONG. Man this song was the entirety of my 2013 (the whole album really), i have all the lyrics memorized. I think ive listened to it even more times than the archandroid even
#They be like oooooh let them eat cake#but we eat wings and throw them bones on the ground#Im cutting up dont cut me down#Is it peculiar that she twerk in the mirror#and am i weird to dance alone late at night#and is it TRUE we're all insane#ARE WE A LOST GENERATION OF OUR PEOPLE?#Add us two equations but they'll never make us equal#She who writes the movie owns the script and the sequel#so why aint the stealing of my rights made illegal?#They keep us underground working hard for the greedy#But when its time to pay they turn around and call us needy#March through the streets cause im willing and im able#CATEGORiZE ME i dEFY EVERy LABEL#And while youre selling dope were gonna keep selling hope#Were rising you now you gotta deal you gotta cope#will you be electric sheep?#will you sleep?#Or will you preach?
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Jiang Cheng haters. The ones that make their entire identity hating Jiang Cheng. The ones that feel the need to drag Wei Wuxian into every topic involving Jiang Cheng. The ones that like to remind everyone that Wei Wuxian doesn't owe Jiang Cheng shit. The ones that like to clown people for daring to relate to a broken character. The ones that have to scream and roar each time anyone actually likes him. The ones that bring up words like 'abusive' when describing his relationship with Wei Wuxian (Toxic, yes, abusive??) What is up with that?
Since when was this a fandom where you can't like rotten characters? Nearly everyone is rotten in one way or the other.
#mdzs#jiang clan#yunmeng jiang#jiang wanyin#jiang cheng#i am sick and tired#of the Jiang Cheng slander#some people going as far as calling him one of the villains or antagonists when he didn't know half the shit that was going on#most of his life happened TO him and was hardly ever a result of a decision he made#the decision he made to save Wei Wuxian lost him his core#no decision he made caused him the loss of his parents nor his sister#people aren't allowed to feek sorry for him?#yeah he lost Wei Wuxian#yeah Wei Wuxian owes him no apology#if we all agree on this why are you guys still aching to hate on him?#we're just really sad for him#he gets no happy ending#leave the self hating bitch alone#talking about canon Jiang Cheng#it's still all the same kid stuck in the same abusive family Wei Wuxian was in#the teenager with an inferiority complex who had not one person tell him he was special#besides maybe Wei Wuxian#but Wei Wuxian still left (we are happy for him and his new life) but of course Jiang Cheng feels like his words don't count now#Jiang Cheng is so miserable#i don't understand the haters for real#he's like the Qi Rong of his universe#and people don't hate on Qi Rong as much#mdzs thoughts#tired for real
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Rly sucks having a central nervous system 🙃 tired of it
#receive a text message? INSTANT ANXIETY#literally shaking lmao im such a pathetic idiot#and its not even anything bad he wants to hang out which is fine. but i just know#he wants to Talk About Us and im not prepared#like. this will be the first time we're alone together since the breakup#its easy when the whole fam is there#idk man fuck#hes been so patient with me since we lost penny he hasnt asked me to justify myself at all but its almost 2 months now#so hes gonna expect a full on Talk i can feel it#and i do owe it to him#anyway i hate it
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watching a video for the biomed research class i'm in and this guy is like "i have faith that humans are not going to be using our gene editing abilities (which, for the record, are fairly limited) to make designer babies. we're ethical!" and it's like i wrote an essay on this and there are companies out there already offering genetic screenings of IVF babies for things like eye color and "intelligence". so uh. yeah. you have too much faith.
#unfortunately i didn't back up the fucking essay and lost it when my high school google drive was deleted#which i am annoyed at past me for not saving#yeah it was a bad essay bc i wrote it in a day but i had legit sources#and would like to have them to reference!!#also related but the biomed research prof was like: our last class will talk about biomed ethics and idk maybe we should be talking about#them more than just the last day????? hello???#like we're working with flies and not humans but Still!!!!!!! insane#if i can find time and get into the class im gonna take the biomed ethics class as my last GE#so so so mad i did not back up the essay like what was i thinking#edit: found the essay in a shared folder somewhere. its kind of out of date and i'd like to read like the primary literature but my point#still stands. there is literally a company out there that will screen ur ivf babies for 'low intelligence'#and like the economic inequality alone baked into this whole thing is already a nightmare dont get me started
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Reputation is more romantic than Lover and I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.
#im spilling wine in the bathtub you kiss my face and we're both drunk#this alone paints such a im in love picture#dont read the last past but ill stay when your lost and im scared and youre turning away#i want your midnights#I DID ONE THING RIGHT IM LAUGHING WITH MY LOVER MAKING FORTHS UNDER COVERS#excuse me#excuse meeee#i can go on#but i wont
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if there's one thing i hate more than slackers in group projects its goddamn hypocrites
#this guy did jack shit for two full weeks when we're building the damn prototype#but STILL brought up the fact that most of our team blew off a report till the last minute in the beginning of march#*prototypes don't work* “sEe tHis iS wHy wE nEedEd tO hAvE a cOnvErsaTioN aBouT MS3”#like hon you lost the rights to the “y'all need to contribute more” argument the moment you left me hanging for 2-3 FUCKING WEEKS#like excuuuuuse me you been prioritizing extra curriculars all week get off your high horse stop lecturing everyone else about contribution#he made maybe 3 contributions? maybe?#first he 3D modeled an adapter and sent it to someone else to print (couldn't even do THAT himself smh)#then he sent the gc a sketch of an idea i roughly proposed literally the NIGHT BEFORE as his own contribution (that I ENDED UP BUILDING#then he...screwed on a few pipe fittings and called it a project :)#would be a LOT less pissed if he didn't show up to One Thing outside weekly team meetings/class#then apologize for slacking off BUT then launch into a FUCKING SPEECH ABOUT HOW HIM BEING HERE PROVES HIS COMMITTMENT#all because he DOESN'T LIKE GETTING UP EARLY. like sir. sir i am rIGHT FUCKING HERE. i was up till 4-5am working on this stfu#we've been building for three weeks and he's come into work on stuff wo me there ONCE for an HOUR#for context id spent about fifteen hours in the shop alone working on the fucking thing that WEEK#like im trying to be understanding ik tech week is hell#but i took “stepping back” as “i only have a few hours here and there to be in the shop and will do the writeups”#NOT “won't show up outside meetings AND we're splitting slides and writeups 80/20”#like id been in the lab all fuckin day and notice we have an assignment due (missed a SINGLE meeting due to exam)#and i ask him if theres anything i can do (and im thinking like look it over maybe add a spec or two)#and this fucker has the AUDACITY to ask me to write the full four paragraph summary cause he#*checks notes* copy-pasted some specs from milestone 3 so of COURSE its only fair that despite the fact I've been in the lab ALL DAY#that i write the four fuckin paragraphs too#course we're troubleshooting and he's like “did you clean the pump? did you disassemble it and rinse it?” like yes???#i did EVERYTHING i could think of before i even bothered texting you cause i know you're fucking useless#and then he raises fifteen different concerns which while valid would have been NICE TO HEAR WHEN I SENT YOU MY INITIAL DESIGNS#y'know BEFORE i spent over fifteen hours of my free time building this damn thing#with slackers i just pick up the work and move on with my life this idiot is trying to gaslight me into thinking that he contributed fairly#when i heard “i need to step back due to play stuff” i thought we'd be splitting it like 65:35 NOT FUCKING 95:5#and now hes probably going to give ME a poor peer review because I've been passive aggressive with him in the few meetings he showed up to#like i got shit going on too? how the fuck does he expect me to respond to being abandoned to do this shit myself
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i don't think you want anything to do with me anymore so i can just vent the texts i want to send to you here
#i am sorry#truly genuinely#ive been trying to justify it to myself that we weren't technically together and you said go kiss other people ill still be here meet your#needs in the way you want#but i think it was#yesterday#this guy flirted with me and i flirted back but then suddenly this wave of disgust and self loathing hit me#like what am i even doing#how could i have done that#you were sitting there thinking we're okay you thought we were still together and im just in a bad mood going thru one of those depressive#episodes you were so understanding when you shouldn't have been because if i say im in love with you i should be there for you every step#of the way.#but you go through so much shit alone and im never there for you or atleast not there for you a lot of times and then i blame you for#liking your bestfriends more like it's so stupid obviously love should be reliable stable#and we were something na. we were everything except the label#i should have told you the moment i started feeling empty and dissatisfied again#but just. this isn't an excuse but like i didn't want to hurt you by bringing up this same fight for the one thousandth time#we agreed that you're not in the position to give more and i agreed to be okay with it and i really was.#but i can't help myself i want to give you everything i hate that feeling that i need to be less love less WANT less. mujhse nahi ho pata#i wasn't lying or pretending to be okay with it i was TRYING my best to be okay with it because i love you and this was the only way to#not lose you forever#now i just want to move on fr and be just friends with you. i can't lose you as a person but i don't know how to make this up to you#i am physically incapable of being in this situationship i want a relationship or a friendship i can't with this in between#which is what i told you in jan. i remember my chest actually feeling heavy with fear bc i was so scared of hurting you and getting hurt#again. jokes on me my worst fears came true all the progress we made by taking space is lost#i don't know if you really deleted my playlist. i tried to listen to more songs from it but they're so. lovely. talking about epic grand#love. which we have. but it's like waving a candy in front of a kid and snatching it away it hurts too much to have all the feelings and#none of the relationship. now that ive talked to some people in the romantic sense i get it#you were my best love my most perfect love there are no flaws there's nothing anyone else can do that can be equal or more to what you did#but idk it isn't meant to be maybe there's no future
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