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ghosttotheparty · 1 year

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also on ao3

(cw: tics, bullying)

Eddie started shivering in seventh grade.

Even when it was hot, even when he was sweating and desperately wanted a non-rattly fan or a better air conditioner. They weren't normal shivers. He wasn't cold. But his shoulders would jerk or shake, or he would tremble for a second, and he didn't know what else it could have been. Others didn't question it for a while, because it started in October. Everyone was shivering. But by March, it hadn't stopped, and he had to explain himself when people gave him questioning looks or asked if he was okay. (Back when people cared.)

'S just a shiver, I'm fine.

He wasn't fine. It got worse over time. He got used to it, to the weird feeling that took over his body for a few seconds, got used to telling people he was cold, joking that he must be low on vitamins or iron, joking that in the future, someone is walking over his grave. But other people didn't get used to it. They thought he was weird. That was fine with him. Wayne realised something was wrong before Eddie started the tenth grade, because he wasn't just shivering anymore. His whole body was jerking sharply, suddenly, his shoulders drawing up, fists clenching. Eddie didn't question it. Wayne did.

It wasn't normal. But nothing about Eddie was normal. Wayne took him to see a doctor. The doctor make him do things, walk in a line, hold his arms out and push the doctor's hands away as hard as he could, follow a flashlight with his eyes without moving his head. It was all weird. It kind of scared Eddie. The doctor kept writing things in a notebook, and Eddie couldn't tell if he was doing well or not. But Wayne was there, watching and listening intently.

The doctor said he had tics. It sounded funny to Eddie, but then it wasn't funny, because the doctor didn't give him anything for it. He just said there wasn't anything really wrong with him. His brain just worked a little differently. (Which Eddie was already used to hearing.) That his tics could get better or go away as he got older, or they could get worse.

They got worse.

By the end of that summer, his arms were moving, flying over his head suddenly, randomly, and his head was jerking back so sharply it hurt. Wayne was worried about him getting whiplash. Eddie was worried about going to school.

That year, he became the freak.

At first, he tried to explain it to people. The movements were involuntary, he couldn't control them. Wayne contacted all his teachers, who mostly got it, but still preferred to make him sit in the hallway so he didn't distract the class. But the other students thought he was possessed, faking it for attention, and everything in between. They'd throw things at him, and complain to the teachers that he was distracting even when he wasn't moving, just to get him out of the room. They would mimic him, make fun of him, and by September, he learned that the tics get worse when he's upset. He could hear them all snickering and giggling as he shoved his hands under his legs and tucked his chin to his chest or held his shirt over his face, as he held his limbs tense so they wouldn't move, so tense he was exhausted and sore all the time, and then he'd go home and cry because he couldn't control his own body.

He'd have to sit on the sofa so when his head threw itself back, it would hit the back of the sofa instead of the wall, and Wayne would just wait, watching with that fucking sadness in his eyes that made Eddie ache even more. When it finally stopped, sometimes after a few minutes, sometimes after an hour or two, he was so exhausted he'd fall asleep right there on the sofa. He couldn't do his homework. His grades dropped even more, but he managed to keep himself afloat. He did the best he could, doing his homework early in the morning before school or in detention. (Some of his teachers thought he was faking. Mr Peterson was in charge of detention, and he was nice. Considerate. Eddie counted him as one of his few blessings.)

His tics got worse.

In December of his junior year, he started making noises. Short screams, grunts, quiet vocalizations. It scared him. He didn't want to go back to school, but he did. The laughter around him got louder, and he was sent out to the hallways more. He started skipping classes. He knew he'd be forced to leave anyway. So he'd sit in the boys' room, on top of a lidded toiler, his feet up on the stall door, and he'd leave cigarette burns on the walls.

Not everyone was awful. Some kids were just curious about him, asked why he acted the way he did, and he did his best to calmly explain it all. I can't help it, actually. It's just my brain works different. That turned into Eddie's brain's fucked. It's broken. He's a fucking--

So he used it. Eddie the Freak. Attention-seeking, desperate for people to notice him. So he started making devil horns, yelling from tabletops, making himself The Freak so no one could use it against him.

No one, not even Wayne, saw him cry at night, because the attention he got was never the attention he wanted. Because he was tired. So fucking tired. His limbs were sore and his voice was rough, and his neck hurt, and he was sick of being laughed at. But that was all he got.

He kept counting his blessings. Mr Peterson, who never minded Eddie's noises or the way his fists would bang against the table loudly in the silent room, who scolded the other detention-goers when they tried to tease. The Hellfire guys, who got used to his tics fairly quickly, and knew when to pause whatever they were doing if Eddie couldn't hear them over a scream or was distracted by his own body. That nice girl, Chrissy Cunningham, who would slip notes from the classes he missed or skipped into his locker or backpack with sweet smiles. (If Eddie wasn't gay, he would have fallen in love with her.) The other few students that ignored him when his tics acted up, just glancing and moving on. Wayne, bless his soul, who would come to the school to confront Eddie's teachers and complain to the principal about Eddie being mistreated by the staff.

And, oddly enough, Steve Harrington.

Eddie never saw it coming. It was a particularly bad day. He was at his locker, trying to line his books up, but a tic threw his hands up, and some books fell from his locker to the floor. He watched helplessly as papers scattered across the floor, as most students stepped around them, ignoring them, as some jocks trampled over them, over Chrissy's neat handwriting, his fists clenched at his sides. When they passed, he kneeled, picking up the books, and when he looked up, Steve Harrington was kneeling too, gathering the crumpled papers and carefully straightening them out.

He gave them to Eddie with a smile, and Eddie thought he might be dying, in some weird, upside-down dimension where Steve Harrington smiles at Eddie Munson. Eddie took them hesitantly, said thank you, and then he hit him.

He was mortified, almost dropping the papers again, jumping back as his whole body flushed with heat, staring at Steve's shoulder where his hand had just landed heavily, and he burst with a Fuck, I'm so sorry, oh my god--

But Steve had just laughed. Amazingly, it was a kind laugh, with sparkling eyes, and soft cheeks, and he said It's okay.

And then he was gone. Down the hall, after his friends, and Eddie realised his hands were trembling.

Steve kept smiling at him. Even when his friends were making fun of Eddie's Satanic cult, and of the way he couldn't keep still, and of his sad, broken brain. Even when Eddie's brain made him flip Steve off across the cafeteria, Steve saw how Eddie pulled his hand down sharply, and Steve just... laughed. Eddie fell in love with his laugh. It was kind, and it made Eddie feel better, even when he wanted to cry.

Steve graduated the next year. But he didn't leave Eddie alone. Eddie couldn't stop thinking about him, and his kind laugh, and his pretty eyes, and then the sheep Eddie adopted told him all about how cool and brave Steve was, and Eddie fell harder without even seeing him.

The world went to shit. But Eddie got to see Steve again.

Steve was still kind, even though the world was ending, and even during serious discussions, plan-making, how-to-save-the-world conversations, Eddie's tics kept going. His body jerked and shivered, and his head threw back, and his fists hit his own chest and shoulders, and he had to sit down. And Eddie found out that there are more kind people than he thought. When his tics slowed, Nancy wordlessly got him an ice pack to hold to his chest, and when he flung it across the room, Robin caught it with a casual oops, and brought it back to him. No one questioned him, or stared, or laughed, even though he knew how annoying he was.

When he woke up in the hospital, he hurt so badly he couldn't move. He just cried. Steve sat by his bed and held onto his hand. He was crying too. When Eddie stopped crying, Steve carefully slid his rings, clean of blood, onto his fingers.

This one goes here, right?

Yeah.

On the second day, his brain didn't care that he hurt. As Steve was telling him about what was going on with the others (Max was staying with the Sinclairs, Dustin's leg was almost healed), Eddie's hand smacked him across the face sharply, the sting of his rings bringing tears to his eyes before he even processed what happened. Steve wordlessly crawled onto the bed, carefully pulled Eddie against himself, and set a pillow over Eddie's lap for when his fists started hitting his legs. He'd just murmured those words, the first words he'd said to Eddie years ago.

It's okay. It's okay.

And he waited until Eddie's body fell lax against him before he carefully found Eddie's hand, laced their fingers, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Eddie was released from the hospital a few weeks later. He stayed in the Wheelers' basement for a few days until Steve's parents left town, for good this time, and then he moved into the Harrington house.

He likes it there. Steve is still kind. Always. He lets Eddie lay his head in his lap when his body hurts or won't stop moving, and he drags his fingers through his hair or holds a joint to his lips for him, and he smiles. (Eddie would go through the end of the world all over again for that smile.) When Eddie's head hits the wall while they're in the waiting room of the hospital for a checkup, Steve just shifts to face him and holds a hand up to the back of his head so his hand hits the wall instead, saying quietly that Eddie isn't allowed to beat his record number of concussions. He drives Eddie to Wayne's even though Eddie doesn't tic when he drives except for a few facial or vocal ones.

When Eddie whistles one night, Steve just smiles at him and says Was that a tic or are you hitting on me? and Eddie freezes, his face burning. Which would you prefer, pretty boy?

Steve kisses him.

And then Steve starts holding his hand even when he isn't having tics, even when they're with the Party. Eddie moves into Steve's room. (They always slept better when they accidentally fell asleep on the sofa together anyway.) Steve holds him when his tics are bad, and Eddie holds him during his migraines, pressing kisses as softly as he can to his forehead and his temples. Steve takes his hand when it moves to hit Eddie's face or chest. Eddie stands steady and holds Steve's hand to himself when he gets dizzy. Steve keeps ready-made ice packs in the freezer to hold to Eddie's chest and legs when they bruise from his fists. Eddie keeps his handwriting as neat as possible when he writes notes in case Steve forgets anything. When they wake up at night, breathless and sweaty and crying, the other is there, arms open, lips waiting.

One night Eddie says very softly, You know, they used to say my brain was broken.

Steve just says, Mine too.

#welcome to projection central #hand wrote this during a lecture today bc i was bored and realised a lot of ppl write/hc eddie as autistic and w adhd #but usually those are the only kinda neurodivergencies i see in fan content #(pretend thats a word)#but then i thought eddie having tics would make sense for his character and i have Experience to write from so #(disclaimer i was not bullied in school nor was i removed from classes (unless i left on my accord bc i wanted to hide in the bathroom))#(some kids teased me or mimicked me or told me to 'do it again' but i dealt w them)#(and the one kid that was really a dick ended up being rly nice by the time we graduated he's cool)#(and i got lucky w my teachers i think they were all very sweet and considerate)#(but i thought this story would make sense and go along with eddies story in the canon)#anyway give eddie tics #anotther hc that his tics calm down/stop when he's playing guitar and playing d&d #mine arent as bad as they were in high school but back then (and on bad days now) they usually calm down #when im focused on something or doing something i enjoy (ie drawing or painting or st)#steddie #steddie oneshot #eddie munson #eddie munson oneshot #steve harrington #steve harrington one shot #stranger things #stranger things one shot

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fatuismooches · 2 months

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EVEN MORE CUTE DOTTORE MOMENTS TO MAKE YOU SMILE 🙏 (because I am too tired to post anything of quality)

#smooches talks #ouhhhh... to experience the domestic life with him...#someone motivate me to start writing actual fics again...#the dottore honeymoon fic merely has the title “medicus scriptor amorem” and “Honeymoon fic” in the actual document LMFAO #i made it on... january 27 oops #idek if im gonna stick to that name because google translate for latin is so bad omfg #(TO THAT KIND PERSON WHO SENT ME IDEAS ILY AND I PROMISE I WILL RESPOND. I PROMISE IM NOT IGNORING U)#i also have another wip i havent touched with loving the harbingers when they weren't in the fatui yet #no like seriously i think churning out 50k words did something to my writing state 💀🙏#a snippet from dottores part: Il Dottore’s strength was nearly unmatched in the Fatui being the Second Fatui Harbinger and all.#what most people do not know is that he was… certainly not the best fighter during his Akademiya days.#A claymore was also out of the question - he grumbled when he had to lug his numerous research materials and parts to the desert…#In the end you settled on teaching Zandik the basics of a sword. do with this as you will...#however i am still so proud of myself for fabulam diu oblitus #i was rereading in class bc i was bored and i was like #damn i kinda ate with this #thanks for listening to smooches mini writing life crisis if u made it here #okay i go sleep now... i have midterms this week #OMFG THESE TAGS R SO LONG IM SO SORRY

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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I've heard some rumors of people believing that HOWDY is actually the bad guy of the whole thing because he didn't "care" about Eddie's well being with the bowling balls, and that he's selling the neighbors inedible stuff. I'm just like.. LEAVE MY FELLA ALONE PEOPLE, HE'S JUST A SALESPERSON.

HA yeah i mean i know i made a joke about that the other day, but uh... no. i Highly doubt that has any merit. he really is just a salesman. and a bit of an asshole. it's part of his charm <3

#people when a character isnt a 100% considerate thoughtful sweetheart: EVIL!!! EVIL!!!#like guys.... first of all. cowards the lot of ya #where's the fun in everyone being nice and getting along. thats so boring! the friction is where its at!#the characters are nuanced! nuance is very good! its fascinating!#rambles from the bog #im actually gearing up to make a long post rambling about Kind Of this subject!#you'll see what i mean when i manage to write it but hoo boy i have Thoughts

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yellowocaballero · 27 days

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Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?

Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!

I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.

I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.

I am going to talk about the prologue.

The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.

Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.

But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.

They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.

I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?

Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.

Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.

At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.

What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.

It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.

But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.

ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?

When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.

#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences #i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason #its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience #that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told #it's. incredible.#in stars and time #start again start again start again #start again: a prologue #isat #god and there is so so so so much more to say here #what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby #i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all.#i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did #but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim #and i write about it a lot #and video games about being video games are wonderful #as are stories about being stories #and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us.#never played a video game that used its medium so well #i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think #stories about stories have to be about why we love stories #and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art #i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while.#some people need to be anywhere but here #and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever #baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot

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skunkes · 6 months

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might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

#(as well as the opposite: Big Event that maybe shocks everyone around em but they genuinely werent shaken by)#though this one is more common and leads to those ''ohh i didnt know that was normal oops'' moments #talkys #inspired by recent me and friend events #and also recent events where i told sum ppl more stuff about Thing and they responded as if it wasnt a big deal. but it was to me.#and also how i thought a part of al's childhood backstory was kind of maybe dumb and not realistically as impactful as id expect #but i saw someone on reddit almost word for word write that as their experience and how its shaped em as a person #and thats it like... the small things are boring and hard to keep track of sometimes #its not like you'll include every single little event your oc was shaped by in their bio #but idk. its like Fun to piece together for fun. to mold a human being #ykwim? wld be silly to tell everyone ''oh my oc struggles with self image due to many instances like... when their sister called em ugly''#or write it anywhere but it is fun to Know and have in your head. and its real !#just like if a friend told you about something that happened to em #long post #delete later #sorry i keep saying stupid obvious shit lately ive always been bad at oc making AND socializing so im learning everything late #but anyway yes. idk even as i keep making ocs that are ''similar'' its like. every person so different #people can react to anything in any way for any reason. i love people #this is why i struggle a bit with keeping ocs to archetypes i guess bc like. what is ooc for an oc. people contain contradictions all the #time. you can change yourself at any time.#ok nobody will read this far so ill go to the real insane rambling #part of this has been a part of my chats with talon while trying to get him to share more info #like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life #but humans dont live as long and think about small things until they die. i dont think time would heal all wounds actually. not all of em #some thoughts just always come to gnaw at your brain. its ok to not be over things. i feel ill never be over some things #and also complainerism can be fun but thats something else entirely wee hee ^_^

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sonknuxadow · 7 months

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something about how when a guy sonic character has nothing going for him in canon or is from a game people dont like people will flesh him out and write 500 page fanfictions about him detailing their au backstory for him anyway. if he does something really really bad whether it was a mistake or fully intentional people are willing to think about and understand why he did what he did. or theyll just ignore it entirely or blame it on bad writing. but when a girl sonic character does any of those same things shes treated like the spawn of satan

#and im not saying you should never ever do any of the things i just mentioned #sometimes its fun to see what you can do with a character that sega themselves neglects #sometimes things can be blamed on bad writing #but how come when shadow does somehting people dont like its blamed on the writers not shadow himself #but when amy does something people dont like they always take it out on the character and dont blame it on the writing #or when knuckles or silver fall for a villains tricks its fine they were manipulated its not their fault #but when lanolin does the same thing shes stupid and mean and all that stuff #people like mephiles but hate elise even though theyre both from sonic 06 and never appeared in another game after that #people will be obsessed with characters like infinite and gadget for reasons they literally made up #but then ignore any girl character that they think is boring or underdeveloped #like. hellooooooo is anyone else seeing this. am i imagining all of it

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arowrath · 8 months

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i shouldnt have to go to classes in college i should just get to lie in bed all day and they should pay me $7,000 per semester. To do this.

#text #im so exhausted not physically just. brain #dont wanna get out of bed dony wanna go to classes. but i have to #might wntirely rewrite creative writing pronect. not sure what about #maybe i should email heather. say hi heather i need my paper work. also this school stuff is very overwhelming #see the thing is when im not in school i get depressed bc im bored #but when i am i get depressed bc im overwhelmed

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beelzeballing · 5 months

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my opinions on the metroid games' soundtracks because im soooo bored rn:

metroid: surprisingly has some fucking RIDICULOUS bangers considering its an nes game (kraid's hideout helloooo) but also has mother brain battle. which. yeah.

return of samus: i mean whats THERE is as good as ever, sr388's surface theme goes hard but. uh. i hope you like random atmospheric gameboy bloops. it works for what the game is but yeah youre not gonna be putting any of these on your spotify playlists

super: are you KIDDING me? its super metroid. obviously there is nothing but fucking bangers on that ost. super metroid has never missed in any way shape or form lol. honorable mention to, of course, brinstar depths and also my extremely beloved maridia (swampy caverns).

fusion: are you KIDDING me part 2, electric boogaloo. slightly hampered by the fact that the GBA's sound system was so fucking ass but by god did it work around that. this game's ost is so tense it can veer into horrifying. shoutout to tension before a core-x and environmental investigation for being utterly terrifying

zero mission: ok the gba sound system did not do this one any fucking favors. fusion could get away with it but zero mission... like theres definitely great tracks here but its all SO fuzzy.

prime: kenji yamamoto is the fucking BOSS good LORD this soundtrack goes hard. might be my favorite ost in the whole series. i am disgustingly biased but also like. listen to the fucking title theme and then tell me you dont get it. you cant! you literally cant! i think my fav track would have to be... uh. the staff credits. yes, really.

echoes: kenji yamamoto returned with a vengeance. i honestly dont even know what to say tbh, this is up there with prime 1 for me. chykka? the emperor ing? dark samus? hell yes.

corruption: TRIPLE WHAMMY, KENJI YAMAMOTO YOU CRAZY BASTARD!!!! i like this one the least out of the three prime games BUT i do have to shout out phaaze and phazon pool here cuz i absolutely love the phazon sound effect. and it has some VERY fusion coded tracks (positive)

hunters: were back at 'extremely low quality sound hardware', yall want anything? and its for such a good soundtrack too. it can get away from the usual "metroid sound" on some tracks but like. theres banger after banger here, surprisingly enough. sylux' theme... the menu select.... GOREA FINAL BOSS THEME??

other m: yeah.

samus returns: wow we are so fucking back!!!! banger remix after banger remix! im listening to the playlist rn tho and im kinda confused cuz i havent played this game in ages. why are there lower brinstar and crateria tracks. this is metroid 2. we arent on zebes. what the fuck. anyway catch me bumping the gamma metroid theme

dread: i hate to say this but the ost is. a little underwhelming. burenia goes hard but the rest is just... very middling. mercury steam brought the heat with dread but particularly outstanding composers they have not.

#moogsin'#this took actual fucking ages to write #this is the shit i do when im bored #metroid

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literalnobody · 1 year

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Tumblr insists I compress these down to ugly quality >_>

You can listen to the Prologue and Chapter One if you want to understand what to heck is going on here!

Listening time: 17 mins~

Sound effects used: [x][x][x]

#I have said this on other posts but I'm obviously not going to post the whole book in audio posts lol #these are just a lil taste of the story so you'll know if its for you when i finish and hopefully publish it #dipping your toe in to check the temperature. that sorta thing #the water dog #mine #my writing #original writing #sowwy about the audio quality i record on my phone and then it gets compressed #best listened to with headphones if you can stand my voice #and if you're enjoying the story so far i'd love to hear feedback! this is still just the first draft #Sybil is a tricky protagonist bc shes kinda boring at the start.... but she grows through the story i promise she gets interesting #in my opinion anyway #its hard to write a silent protagonist in a novel where she is not actually silent #but silent in the 'god i wish i didnt have to speak to people' way #anyway im rambling now!#thanks for listening if you do

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drowsystarlight · 8 months

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Sam freezes in his spot when he feels the gentle, cautious hand settle on his chest. Five’s palm is just over his shirt and he could feel the warmth emanating from their hand, a crescendo of his own heart thumping in his ears. The runner looked as if they had a lot in their mind, even glancing up at Sam and giving him a window into the darkest depths of their entire being, silently daring him to keep going on this route just so they could keep him around.

“…Five?” He mutters slowly, his cheeks turning into a shade of red from the sudden contact. It was indirect, sure, but Five never reached out to touch him before. Hell, they haven’t willingly reached out for anybody. He can’t help but feel curious and troubled about the look on their face, about how it seemed as if they badly wanted to speak…

Every beat of the flesh under their palm turns into a pattern of music into Five’s mind. It feels like a song, except it’s the only type that would soothe their nightmares.

One day i’ll finish the drawings for Heartbeat and upload the finished chapters on ao3 but today we get this old drawing I never posted with the accompanying text i made for it (also never posted)

#zombies run #runner five #sam yao #5am #zombies run fanart #zombies run fanfic #neeks draws #listen . its almost 2 am and i am bored #well i should also be asleep but im working on it i promise #anyway . yeah #i found this again after looking for a new header here #and im like ???? what?? i was so proud of this whyd i never post it #past neeks: absolutely neurotic about THIS MASTERPIECE coming out when the actual chapter for it comes out #tbh this drawing is where the fic came from #it was supposed to be a little snippet #and then bam….#hahahahahh……#writing amirite

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linddzz · 3 months

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hello, here for your opinion on odysseus! have you read madeline miller’s “circe”? if so, what did you think of odysseus?

Ooooohhhhhhhh you're nudging at a pandoras box asking me my opinions of Madeline Miller 🙃

To answer while holding the full ranting instinct back on a leash (partially bc I legit don't have much time for much typing rn AND I know lots of people like MM and idk I generally don't enjoy making people feel like they shouldn't like a thing, but I also love being salty and this is my constant internal struggle):

With a lot of her characterizations I feel like M.M. either goes too hard making them sympathetic (Circe and Patrocles being the top contenders who come to mind) or she swings too hard the other way. Odysseus is like....fine? He's not outright terrible? But he does fall into her "they are either sympathetic (cougboringcough) beauties with maayybe a couple Tragic Flaws (that are barely flaws, goD why couldn't she just let Circe have full agency and purposely curse Scylla why can't maybe Penelope be as much of a scheming suspicious fucker as her husband GOD these "feminist retelling" authors are too cowardly to touch Medea-nonono the rant is leashed I'm staying on target!) or they are horrible awful people." But she's made so many comments that make me baffled about her academic background in classics (why would you say all the gods are sociopaths Madeline??? that is an actual ancient cultures religion you're trashing??? do you not get how gods are used narratively in stories is not the same as they're worshipped esp in a religion without strict canon??? You know how we all understand that Paradise Lost isnt Christian canon what the F-Not ranting not ranting I'm good!!) lmao. She seems to fall into the common take I see where modern Anglo morality is projected on the characters divorced of the time/culture/narrative they are set in, and then go "omg how did people think this was a hero?"

Anyway I just don't see how people can look at Odysseus being a scheming ratfuck compulsive liar (who is also a great warrior in violent times bc it...was a warrior society who told his story) and go "um he's terrible why would anyone like him as he is originally????" while MCU Loki was so popular they kept bringing him back from the dead to continue being A Scheming Little Bastard.

(EDIT: uh tldr is I read Circe. The entire experience was me going "oooo it's about to get good" and then realizing that Circe is just boring the whole time. Came out the other end with more feelings about how M.M. writes women than Odysseus, but her Odysseus is part of a trend of doing a lot of black and white morality shenanigans)

#read circe and came away underwhelmed overall and esp bored by her circe #tried reading song of achilles when it came out and was bored and then angry at how she wrote thetis and patroclus #most of my other big MM opinions are opinions about how modern 'feminist' retellings just add more miserable women than the og story had #and its impossible to ignore her work if you talk about ancient lit #god im gonna be chewing glass when i need to see everyone talking about the Persephone book shes writing #if she ever writes about Dionysus and Ariadne i might commit a sparagmos #this answer IS my held back rant fodjdkdj #i was bored by circe and then the more i read the classics the more i got mad at it fifjdkdj #i added a read more for those who don't care to see me barely holding back from biting about mm

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