anyway i think when cas comes back from the empty, dean and cas have to work through a lot of things and it's just. rocky and sad and stupid. and when they're going to bed every night, cas grabs dean's arms and holds them around himself and says "don't let go." and dean says "I won't. I'm not going to let go." and cas says, "when I close my eyes, you can't let go. you can't let go. I will forget if you let go." and dean just closes his eyes because he's scared and sad and he's cRYING and he presses his forehead to the back of cas' neck and breathes and he can't say anything because of he tries to he'll break and cas will not want to sleep and he'll get worse in the morning and that's not good at all so he just sort of tightens his arms around cas and presses close, waits counting breaths until cas is sleeping and his fingers have stopped digging into his forearms and then he sighs. and nudges his body as close as it'll get to cas because he doesn't wanna dislodge himself in his sleep. and then he drifts off, slow and somehow easy, to the rhythm of Cas' breathing. and yeah. he doesn't let go.

i very much keep myself in my own little bubble on the internet because i am aromantic and also a hater and so fandom spaces are generally pretty hellish for me. however in the witcher fandom specifically i am forever surprised to see the complete lack of engagement with the actual themes of the text. like,,, i am certain that there are people out there having great conversations about it but the fact that the only widely accessible discourse (in the epistemological sense of the word not internet arguments) around the story is surface level character discussions when there is SO much to talk about there in OBVIOUS ways. obvi there are deeper character conversations to be had (so little about geralt's like. deep grief at his perceived inability to be human. i'll forgive it cause it is much more prevalent in the books but it's still a shame...) but there are SO many larger-scale things to talk about. the witcher as a story about colonialism i feel like i never see mentioned and considering the sheer integral nature of that discourse in the text it seems really improbable that nobody wants to talk about it? from the very beginning the story is telling you very openly about the way that humanity assumes itself to be the rightful occupant of the land when it is in fact an occupying force, and it's discussing what makes for a rightful use of violence in pushing back against that colonizing force, and what is necessary for survival under colonialism, like... i've still only read a few of the books but even JUST in the edge of the world story, without considering the scoia'tael and the larger dynamics of the fantasy racism and systemic discrimination in the world of the witcher, it is a VERY clear story about the aftereffects of genocide and the question of integration into the occupying force. like you CAN'T ignore that or write it out of the story for the netflix show cause that's what the larger story is About. and beyond engaging with the direct themes of the text i feel like i'm missing so many critical discussions. so much to talk about with the men-writing-women of it all, the way that yennefer is treated by the original author and then the way that in trying to work around that characterization she sort of just gets girlbossified in the other direction by the netflix writers, the way that yennefer is either beloved without criticism or hated without critical thought by the fandom. idk. again i say nothing with absolute certainty because i do take pains to talk about this in my own little corner and not seek much out about it but man. all this fanfic and we're not gonna talk about Any of that? not even geralt of rivia's central motivation of being a guy who wants to do the right thing?

there is nothing more frustrating than introducing someone to a piece of media and having them fully and fundamentally misunderstand it.

what they dont tell u abt being an architect is that u also have to be a project manager. which if i WANTED to do i wouldve just become a project manager, but there is literally nothing i want to do less than being a project manager. unfortunately however. architecture as a job is 70% project management

finished rewatching good omens s1.... god... i missed them so much. the little sillies. the little goofies even. why is this show so good what the hell...

DMV GIVE ME NY NEW LEARNERS PERMIT I JUST WANT TO RENEW NY LIBRARY CARDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

me seeing a insta story post of someone in my sister's extended friend circle of her and some ppl at a small gathering that ig is also apparently a theme party bc they're all wearing cowboy hats and outfits and such and it's like... ok she hasn't even replied to my two texts (which ig whatever. they're not urgent). and also she didn't even mention this party to me at all and also it's presumably it's like a going away party for her bc in two days she's moving to california for six months and it's like.........

i don't care about this one particular party of ten ppl at all truly, it's just kind of a bummer that i literally only have one sibling and we're twins and since high school she has actively disliked me and told me she doesn't respect me and that she thinks im an idiot and it's been like seven years of that and somehow it took until like last year for it to really sink in for me bc i just couldn't believe that my own sister would truly be the least caring and most unsupportive person in my life and it's just like.... i rly don't care about this party at all it's just sometimes it rly kinda bums me out that i have one sibling and she entirely made up her mind about me in high school and nothing ive done since then has seemingly made any difference to what she thinks of me and so i just have to live with my one and only sibling resenting me for the rest of my life ig ://

@ 🤠🐸

yall rly just are not getting what i had said in my original ask at all. like none of yall understand.

first of all, i can complain about it. thats what i did. i complained about it. let me explain this in a way that can make sense as to why im so upset about it.

imagine that regularly, every month for 2-3 years, you are given a piece of candy. now all of a sudden, youre being forced to pay for the candy. why do you have to pay for the candy? its always been free before so why now? it cant be because of a financial crisis, because the person supplying you has a steady income and makes more money than you have or probably will see in your whole life. i think its pretty fucking fair to be upset about it.

i dont expect it to change, i dont expect anyone to do anything about it. i dont expect everyone to understand, but god fucking damn it, i have grown up having even basic human fucking needs deprived of me because money is stupid and evil and yeah, yanno what, i think im entitled to being a little upset when yet Another Thing is being taken from me because i cant afford to give a rich white man money. no its not serious, i get that. but i dont know why me voicing that im upset about something automatically makes me childish and immature and apparently, according to past responses, a fucking loser who has no friends.

idk man. money is the root of all evil or whatever and i hate paying for art in general because its stupid that anyone even has the need to charge money for art or slap any kind of monetary value on it. i get that it sounds like im whining, but the way that i look at it, this kind of feeling for me runs a lot deeper than “i cant have my favorite content bc it costs money”

its very much a “its stupid that anyone should have to pay for these kinds of things because art shouldnt be monetized period but we live in a world where its Needed and that pisses me the fuck off because I HATE MONEYYYYYY I HATE ITTTTTT “ kind of thing lmao

like yall know how everyone is mad at streaming services for making you pay more for less shit when it used to be included in what you get??? its the same kind of vibe for me. why would i ever pay money for something that was free for half its existence or whatever lmao

idk i dont think anyone will really understand unless you grew up the way i did. its cool. its whatever. just maybe dont fucking attack me for complaining about financial situations/the ridiculous roundabout ways i have to go about getting shit that used to be free.

im not even mad about Erik himself being the one to do it. im mad that anyone does it. you should not force anyone to pay for shit that used to be free. shit should not cost more after time goes on. because none of it makes any fucking sense and money is stupid and grrrrrer whateverrrrrrr whateverrrrr it doesnt mattererrrrrrrr (thx to mod priest for putting up with all this btw love u dude, ur a pillar in this community truly and u see some of the worst shit that this fandom says and big props to you. i wont be commenting on this any further just for your sake tbh. much love, thank you for everything you do dude)

-⚡️🩸

.

(thanks ⚡🩸 anon 🥺. Thats very sweet of you ❤️ love u too dude)

< about to be unreasonably upset over CD player not working

T_T

and i am A B S O L U T E L Y intimidated by the fact that the author of my fav fanfic could be reading this, One Hundred Percent, oh my god i am thinking about it so much

first time getting a traffic ticket -- like ever.

UGH.

at least it was a city officer so i can just pay my ticket online apparently and like not appear in court.

SIGH.

CAN I JUST STAY HOME NOW. I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK AFTER THAT.

ah.

That panel where Jensen says that Misha sounds like that in the mornings is all even funnier to watch now, at least for me that I never heard of these secrets (but not much) living arragements, JP's comeback and everyone's losing their shit now looks much more than a random joke, they all actually were in the know that's priceless

Yeah like yet again I don't even ship them but it gets infinitely funnier when you understand what I've said for years now on why I just casually accept them as a thing in life like green grass or blue skies. Whatever. Since I don't ship or hat them or whatever I just kind of put it in a big Whatever box, but having that base understanding has made the last several years fucking hilarious.

When you realize they didn't hide it from the world AT ALL just literally from fandom, and the fandom is really just upset their parasocializing was limited for reasons related to... the dangers some people take their parasocialization to the limits of--

when you realize--just--it-- everybody knew and sometimes forgot fandom really didn't from shipper to Jared or "stayed with Jensen--OR WHATEVERRRRRRR--"s; then watching this ship has a whole other zest.

the difference between klaine and kurtbastian is that only one of them actually made kurt happy (hint: it's not sebastian) sorry for coming in your inbox lol i just really hate sebastian and it boggles my mind how people think canon sebastian isn't a shitty person. like, blaine obviously isn't perfect but at least he's got so many redeeming qualities. sebastian's best quality is that he (reluctantly!!) stopped being a racist piece of crap and started taking performance enhancing drugs instead.

ahhhhh so like yeah i’m gonna be more receptive to sebastian hate and i see my bias there and i don’t care (kind of addressing my last ask response lmao) it’s a tv show

i understand like having a fanon sebastian that’s better but yeah

*thinks about klaine being cute*

anywayyyyyy yeah i agree with thissssss i don’t like sebastiannnnnnn y’all can do whateverrrrrrr ship whatever hate whateverrrrrr 

unpopular opinion apparently: this fandom needs to stop shitting on bianca davi