Carbon Monoxide (Requested)
Warnings: Depression, Swearing, Fluff?
Summary: Tak is convinced Y/n is dead. The love his life was killed saving him from an impulsive mistake he made. Between the blame, the drinks, and depression everything was bleak and pointless. Until he arrives a Bancroft party to find what he knew was nothing at all. What really happened?
Requested by: @ravenclawsstolemybunies
A pulse flows through the air in a gushing wave. Tak felt his whole body fall to the gorund and go completely numb as well the rest of the swarming mob of people.
Stack Shocker... FUCK
He looked for Y/n in the now fallen crowd of battered and bruised people. She had been thrown by the blast in the middle of the road. Blood pooled around her body pushed around by the freezing rain.
Tak fights through using every ounce of strength to get himself to her lifeless body, the blurring his vision and making his body numb.
Her heart beat was slow. The noise and chaos that erupted around them disappeared into a static and blurry cloud. His mind went fuzzy with adrenaline and ears ringing from all of the hits to his head.
“Y/N??? Y/N!!!!”
Nothing.
Cold skin... Blood... wound. Cover it... Pressure...
“Y/n please... oh god please...”
....Analyzing Stack.... No signs of activity. Lifeless
Too much... too many... guns... police....Leave....Leave her...now. Go!
~Present Day~
Tak sat in the outside garden at Suntouch waiting on Bancroft to finish whatever the fuck rich people do in their spare time. It was nice and all but he saw past the pretty flowers and statues. He saw everything scum like these people stood for. But, he needed the money if he was going to ever get out of this shit hole.
“Mr. Kovacs! You’re early.” Bancroft made his way through garden alongside his wife, who just seemed to be very interested in Tak anytime he was around.
“I need to speak with your associates or friends. See if they have any grudges against you or your family. I need you to get them all into one place without raising suspicion. Can you do that within the next few days?”
“Of course Mr. Kovacs whatever you need to get this done. I assume you have a plan? Do you plan on someone confessing to you or do you have someone in mind? I will tell you they are snakes with their own secrets and scandals. Turning over these stones will likely cause some fuss. More than the one you’re causing already my friend...”
"It does work in our favor though. Many people seem more interested in attending now that you are honored guest." Bancroft's wife said eyeing him a little too hard for her husband being a foot away.
“If you can get it done leave the rest to me.” Tak waiting for no contest left as quickly as he came. He couldn’t stand to be there, let alone work for them to save his life. Besides, he needed a cigarette and a drink to prepare for whatever the fuck he was about to step into.
When Tak arrived at the Raven Hotel, Poe was quick to spark conversation that he was just not in the mood for. Something about news or the maybe the weather? He didn’t know and he really didn’t care honestly. The headaches were getting worse not to mention the weird hallucinations. Maybe it was the drugs he took yesterday... What was it? LSD maybe?
“Master Kovacs I also think it’s imperative that you...”
“Poe. Seriously? Shut the fuck up my head hurts and I really don’t have time for your questions or whaatever other shit you have to bother me with.”
“Are the headaches getting progressively worse now?” Poe asked worriedly. He knew the cause, but hardly knew what to do anymore, Nothing seemed to remedy these episodes.
“You’re not helping it either.” Tak took a long awaited drag of a cigarette out his pocket and tilted his back. He closed his eyes and let the smoke curl out of his mouth as he felt the flood gates in his mind give way. He could see Y/n's face appear out of the mist of darkness. The dark splattered blood on her face and the way her eyes looked so dead. He felt the same pain swallow his chest as before. The same one that tears through his skin and coils around his heart.
“Master Kovacs are you still with us?” Poe asked observing him closely.
Waking from his trance, Tak gave Poe one last glare before he finally took the hint and fazed somewhere else. Closing his eyes again, he resumed his dream. This time, though, was different.
He could still see her face, but there was no blood. She was smiling even. It seemed so real and she looked so lively. She was speaking incherently almost in a whisper, but he couldn't understand a single word. Tak reached for her but no matter how close he got, she would just grow farther and farther away. At one point he even began to chase her, but taking a final leap to catch her woke him from his dream. Why was this one different? What could it mean?
Getting up from his chair Tak felt his head spin in a whirlwind of thought. There was no way she could be alive. None. From what he can remember Y/n’s stack and sleeve were destroyed. Anyone that found her remains would have never let her live and surely destroyed her stack. Everything now is fuzzy but hes sure. What Tak remembered had to be true.
It just had to be... right?
Now Tak was questioning everything he remembered about what happened. The headaches were becoming worse and even came down with a fever from all the strain on his body and mind.
Poe appeared next to Tak who was lying in bed dripping in sweat. “Do you need anything? I can make myself rather useful in a variety of areas. Cooking, cleaning, or just simply an ear for someone to talk to.” Poe said avoiding eye contact.
“Fine.” Giving in, Tak talked about Y/n. he talked about her smile, her strength, courage, and of course how beautiful she was inside and out. Poe listened intently smiling at how much Tak was gushing about this mystery woman. But when Tak explained how he thought she died and how the details aren’t adding up, it sounded familiar. She died before Poe could meet her, which he disappointed to hear, but he was more saddened by the fact that Y/n’s death was still killing him.
“She sounds wonderful. You two seemed very compatible.”
“She was wonderful... Everything that I thought I knew and thought was solid proof is falling through my hands. I can’t think straight I can’t sleep... A part of me still thinks she’s alive but it can’t be true. Y/n would have found me by now she would be looking for me or let me know what was happening but...”
“Mr. Kovacs if she were alive.” Poe interrupted, “Y/n would very slim of an opportunity to meet you. We don’t know the circumstances she is in or even her whereabouts if Y/n were to actually be alive. Perhaps it is better to take what you have left of Y/n and hold onto it. If she is alive, it is completely out of your hands.”
Tak walked away from Poe trying not to agree with what he was saying. He took a moment to stand on the balcony, letting the cigarette slowly burn away. He looked at the lively and bright city before him, his heart slowly but surely breaking. Rain soon engulfed the city like a flame, completely soaking his clothes, and camouflaging his tears.
~Flashback~
“You know Taki, although I do hate being in the city, it always looks so beautiful at night. The lights, the noise. It’s all so... surreal.” Y/n spoke looking out onto the cityscape from their room.
Aside from the pollution and screaming and yelling, the lights mixing with the thundering rain painted a beautiful picture. The way the colors mixed in water drops and the way skies lit up with lightning had Y/n in awe.
“I hate it no matter what it looks like. It’s nothing but criminals, sex, and secrets and everyone else having to deal with it” Tak said snaking his arms around her and holding her close placing small kisses on her neck.
“Sex sounds pretty good right about now...” Y/n gave smiled giving Tak a kiss.
Tak took in her all of her features and the way the wind combed through her hair perfectly and her eyes were just endless. It was her original body, but she was more than just looks. He loved every part of her no matter what body she was wearing, and being with her made him the happiest man in the world.
“God you're beautiful.” he said pulling her slose as possible
“You’re not too bad yourself, Taki.”
“Ugh. Stop calling me that. It sounds awful.”
“Make me.”
~Present~
At Bancroft’s Party, Tak was observing all of his friends and how they interacted with each other, especially Bancroft himself. He didn’t see anyone suspicious, actually all of them seemed like it, but there were several people that stood out. For all the wrong reasons anyway. Aside from the frilly dresses to eight pounds of makeup to some people just completely naked, all seemed normal.
Tak continued to down a few more shots when the mood of the room seemed to calm. People began to buzz amongst themselves and cluster together when this woman appeared. She was pretty, everyone at the party was supposed to be. Yet, she had something they didn’t, it was a certain way she looked down at even the highest of the high of people that caught his attention as well as everyone else's.
She didn’t mingle with the other guests, in fact, she made her way straight to the bar paying no attention to anyone or anything but the drink she would take in her hand. The burning liquor seemed to relieve the now noticeable anxious expression on her face.
“Not a fan of parties I take it?” Tak asked watching this woman down two more shots of really strong liquor with ease.
The sound of Tak’s voice caused her to slowly turn her head towards him. Her expression was unreadable, and she was trying to find the words to say but couldn’t. After a moment she steadied herself and spoke.
“Not a fan of these assholes that's for sure. I have never been to a party like this in a while, and never without a certain special someone. Now that I am here I think I can manage these clowns all night. And by the looks of it, you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself either mister.” She took a moment to take him in, she noticing he was fighting his own battle in this miserable place.
“Same situation you’re in I guess. Having to deal with their shit is a real fucking pain in the ass. You know these people?”
“I know of them, but they’re not why I’m here. I was looking for that special someone, it was rumored that they would be here tonight. Huge guest of honor I hear. I pulled all the strings I had in my back pocket to get into this party.”
“Over a rumor? Everyone likes an optimist I guess. I hope they’re worth it.” Tak downed one last drink before he tried to leave but her words stopped him.
"At least I think you are."
Tak paused for a moment. At first he was confused, he didn’t know this woman. But the more he thought about it, the more it actually didn’t make sense.
"Who the fuck are you?" He said more than aggitated thinking she was there to kill him or start something he had to finish.
“Taki, you still haven’t figured it out? So much for that envoy intuition.”
Taki?
“Y/N? It can't be. That's impossible your stack was...”
“It was ok. It was damaged only slightly but I needed a new sleeve for sure. This sleeve took a while to make and I had severe sleeve sickness afterwards. I was desperate to find you Taki. There is so much buzz around you now it was hard to get to you. I am so sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner... Maybe I could’ve helped you with all of this I...”
Tak swooped Y/n into an embraced and kissed her. Even holding her was long overdue. He felt the grip on his mind release and felt his heart throb out his chest. Y/n melted in his arms and felt all tension leave her body. Between the tears and the I love yous, the time they spent apart was slowly erased.
Completely not caring about Bancroft and his death anymore Tak and Y/n navigated through the crowd and out the back door. Bancroft would have his head on a pike later but he didn't care.
Using the elevator they did their best to avoid cameras and other party goers who could point them out or stop them.
Tak waved down a cab and let Y/n slide in first. After taking a moment to breathe after practically running out of the place they both started laughing hysterically. He missed that laugh. Despite the new sleeve it sounded the same.
They began exchanging stories of their time apart, and Tak realized he had forgotten how badass Y/n can be. Her stories seemed more eventful and dramatic than he thought possible. It made Bancroft's death and party and cheap soiree.
When Tak took a turn spoke about how her 'death' affected him, Y/n's heart sank at every word. His whole demeanor changed and did her hardest to hold back the waterfall of tears in her eyes. All she wanted to was cradle him in her arms forever. He already had lost Quell, he shouldn't of had to lose her too.
They let the heaviness in the air between them fill the silence. There would be longer be a need for pain anymore. It was over.
The car soon came to a halt in front of the hotel and Tak had to brace Y/n for the storm that was Poe. In all honesty she couldn't wait to meet Tak's only friend through everything.
After an hour long interview with Poe, Y/n headed upstairs to Tak's room. He stayed behind to grab something to eat off of Poe to bring up.
The amount of bottles on the floor made her feel guilty. She knew he was alive and what happened but he didn't know about her. Even when he thought she was dead he looked for her and found nothing. There were times she questioned going back to him at all. Not because she didn't love him, because she thought he was better off. She thought wrong.
Hearing the elevator make it's way up she quickly got out her clothes and into one of his shirts on the floor. She laid on the bed trying not fall asleep on the extremely comfy mattress.
Tak stepped out of the elevator with drinks and something fancy on a plate but seeing Y/n he didn't think the food would even be touched. He just set it on the floor, took off his clothes, and slid into bed beside her.
She slid in closer to him and laid her head on his chest. His body felt so warm despite being out in the cold. Y/n didn't have a care in the world. Being in his arms was the only world she wanted any part of.
Tak took a deep breath and closed his eyes for just a moment and for once didn't feel any pain or guilt. At long last it was just silence and darkeness. He began to stroke her back just make sure she hadn't disappeared. Laying there in silence, just being in each other's presence after so long and given how exhausted they were from the last few hours was more than enough.
"I love you Taki. More than anything."
"I love you too Y/n/n."
"Ew don't call me that." Y/n giggled. "Never use it again."
"Make me."
There something Tak wanted to do before they closed in for the night. Something that took a moment for him to gather the nerve for. Despite the anxiety he was feeling, he had to make sure he wouldn't lose her again.
Sensing his anxiety, Y/n looked up at him.
"What's on your mind Taki?"
...
"Marry me"
***************
Tags: @ittie-bittie-tittie @pixelsinspace @umbrellabrass @fandomalert31
205 notes
·
View notes
Episode 5: It's time to put my game face on - Ruthie
What a telling tribal. Gage is a whole liar. He and David both lied to me about how the vote was going. Now I definitely know not to trust them. Jaiden was mad that I voted for him, but I think we patched things up in PMs. However, I feel like this tribe swap will do me wonders. Chrissa is definitely someone who I want to align with. I hope we can get either Ari or Casey on our side so that Gage can be voted out as that seems to be in my mind, best case scenario. He's playing really well and that needs to go sooner rather than later.
So we voted out Adam and it was messy as fuck like planned but then A SWAP
Not just a swap but The three blue people are PEOPLE I LOVE AND WOULD WANT TO WORK WITH SO WE CAN EASILY JUST TAKE OUT THE GREENS IF WE WANTED. Unless of course RTP doesnt think Emma and Cole can get along. I think whaatever happens on this tribe, im going to at least survive the first vote??? We can pray we can pray
I... like this swap? I think? I'm glad Jessica is with me and not Ari, I'm not sure if Ari would feel bitter about the vote or not.
I hope Emma is okay, I miss her.
I'm glad to be with Charlotte- I'm just nervous to see if anyone else would vote me out if given the chance, I LOVE Drew but I don't trust him, I was hoping not to see him until later on. For now I'm going to stick close to Charlotte and Jessica and just see what else happens.
Jaiden and I have definitely patched things up! I think we could be a dynamic duo that really shakes up the game! On NuSenip, I'm going to actually make an attempt to be social with the other members. This is where my game takes a turn for the best! I know Chrissa and I are already working together. She told me she has an idol from the isle of pines which I'm thankful for. I can definitely use this to my advantage. If I even catch a scent of being in danger then I could probably just ask Chrissa to use her idol on me. I've already started talking with Ari so I hope my charm can get her on my side. Jaiden said that we need to stick with Gage and LA. I, however, do not plan to ever stick with them for long. I want to definitely vote out Gage! Liars can get gone! However, I do not have the power for that kind of move yet. Plus, Jaiden seems to be on the boat where he doesn't want to vote out Gage. Hopefully, he's not just lying to me so that he can vote me out. I really do hate this.
WHEW OKAY do we know what the fuck just happened?? i certainly don't!
so honestly all i wanted to do was save casey and cole because they're cute, but apparently i accidentally started world war three up in here, so whoops! to be honest i knew i fucked up the minute i told cole that andreas was targeting him, i still am not really sure why i thot that was a good idea but there was no turning back once i said it. and of course fifteen minutes later andreas messaged me "Can I ask you a question?" and i knew i was dead. but i did what i could with it, which was ignoring the problem and going to see a movie and telling everyone i had no idea what was happening and counting on my friends to not betray me. and hey, it worked out!
anyways i was gone like 3/4 of the day, jessica really covered my ass and i owe her my life and also the other two who didn't stone cold betray me. i'm looking forward to andreas coming back and murdering me for real. i decided to start a fight in the tribe chat for no particular reason except it was funny to me and i don't feel like holding myself back anymore! i'm not here to win, i'm here to have fun and make some memories on the way. so no regrets. and this new tribe i'm on??? basically a dream. i have never met 4/7 people, i'm with someone who voted with me so i don't have to worry about my dirty laundry being dropped in the fire, and jaiden is here which is gonna be so much fun. and that's about all you missed on glee! i'm gonna go forward with my newfound strategy of not giving a f*ck and see where it takes me. wish me luck.
Fuck Karen. This bitch is literally letting a past game control her thinking. And it was ONE TIME. I didn't even tell Cole about it. I told Dom who told Leah who told Cole so like back the fuck off my dick. She needs to go because I don't think I could stand her in merge or in another tribe. God her and Regan think they are sooooooo smart but once I come into the picture? They better keep their wigs tight because I'm coming for them.
Gage telling me all this information is really interesting though. He must actually want to work with me despite lying to me this whole time. I truly think he wants to work with me, but the majority on Senip prevented him from doing so. However, now that they are gone, he can work with me freely. I told you my social game would help me make allies in the future. I do think this swap will do wonders for me so I pray that it all works out in the end.
DREW MESSAGING ME LIKE HE'S EXCITED I'M ON HIS TRIBE.
I love Drew so much, he's one of my favorite people in the community but he just scares me and I like trying to out think him but I literally CANNOT. I just want him to go before me in this game, the days where I try to save Drew are OVER it's time to put my game face on and stop caring who I try to take out.
Episode with triple tribal 11/25- https://youtu.be/2kHbejXxdN8
so we swapped and i love this tribe but then jordan gave winterbells because he loves hell and being satan huh?
I hate winterbells
winterbells is winterhell
winter bells is the worst.
i wish we hadn't swap yet, i feel like i was in a decent spot. i haven't really talked to many people yet so rip. thankfully i still have gage who is turning out to be my closet person?
also working 24 hours in three days sucks.
ANDREAS IS FUCKING GONE AND IM SO FUCKING MAD FUCK U ARI FUCK U ARI FUCK U AND WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU THINK YOURE DOING IS NOT GOING TO LAST LONG GOOOOOO FUCK YOURSELF
First of all, BITCH!!!! What a fuckin bitch move, taking me out right before the swap. Like I actually liked our tribe and then everyone gotta act all sketchy and vote me out. Like 4 people suddenly coming up to me to make sure the vote was Raf? Sketchy. They were probably worried I had an idol which, sadly I did not. Because those fucking trees. But forreal, everyone on that tribe is either a bitch or an idiot. Except Karen, who if I ever get out of here can have my loyalty. But Jaiden? Bitch. LA? Bitch. Rafael? Idiot. More of a drama queen but like there's only two options. Regan is either a bitch if she voted against me or an idiot if she didn't vote me cuz like it was clearly either me or Raf so you're either betraying me or just plain stupid. Karen was the only one who voted with me and like, we were both just like idgaf who it is as long as it isn't me. But as we all know.... Whatever. The annoying thing is like I had no idea until the very end, when I'm talking with a few of them and I'm saying like "well if it was me like no one would tell me, I guess that'd be a blindside" and then immediately I'm like... huh, you know it very well could be one. Not like I had any power to stop it. I just would've looked desperate. But now I'm on redemption and it's time to flex some real power. Like this is where I thrive. No more of this pussy-ass tribe challenges where I gotta rely on everyone's dumb ideas. Now it's just me, and pure determination to fuck them up. They'll all burn for this, and I'm an eternal flame 🔥
Hell yes... I'm throwing these challenges espICALLLYYLLYLYLY when I can be immune duh. Also lmao at my serpent tongue flipping the script on ari and andreas last tribe.... Y'all aren't as good as me.... Like it's me Cole... the beauty honey.. Also the OLD SCHOOL HOES WILL WIN OK, WE MAY HAVE 3 WINNERS ME JESSICA CASEY and well king RYAN but we got this... WE ARE BETTER....!! JORDAN LOVE ME IM PLAYING THIS GAME REALLY VILLIANIOUS OKURRRR.
A rant why i hate the tumblr survivor community where alot of people are snowflakes who get offended and a rant why i kind of like it and a rant where these people are stupid in this game.
I really dont get why they voted off Andreas it was like Ari was thinking like a bitch.... 1: THEY HAD JESSICA AND RYAN who wouldnt have probably voted them off!
2: Why say we wanted cole out i would of probably destoryed my game for cole
3: I was sleeping until 2pm
4: I never thought Ari was messy and also i wanted to not vote them off ever even though were two opposites i am not a good person while Ari is very pure and smart while im not!!!!
After that they were being a little cocky you are so lucky that ryan and cole were on my tribe and not you because i would of thrown you under the bus so hard to Sarah who is like Andreas best friend and i would enjoy seeing you pre merge Ari! That was aggressive but the more i think about it now i can stay with Cole as long as i want and now i dont have to worry about voting off my friends and feel bad about it unless if people want to take the game personally but im just gonna do what ever i can to win honestly! Also ruthie and jessica are the best two people in this game ill be so MAD if they dont do well because they deserve everything. I also felt bad not aligning with Casey at first because shes one of the people in the tumblr survivor community who i love. Lily is boring and Madison is okay i would go with sarah all the way because i hear shes iconic i love her already.
COLE if youre reading this WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! Him trying to get the lowest score all of the time is going to bite him in the ass one of these times. Anyways the rumor currently is Sarah wants Madison out which Im fine with but lets hope its stays that way
Have I done a confessional lately? No one knows.
In case I forgot to talk about it in the last confessional, I found a hidden immunity idol at the Isle of the Pines. I used my second search to get receipts that I could provide to my tribe to make it look like I didn't find anything but turns out? I didn't need them. We tribe swapped and now I'm on a completely different tribe AND we won immunity this week. WHEW.
Let's do first impressions on NuNadroj
Jessica: She seems pretty cool. I know she was in an alliance with Ryan before so having her around is kind of nice because a) she can tell embarrassing stories bc they've met before, and b) that gives us a reason to put a target on her if we do lose the next challenge.
Liam: I think I like Liam? He seems really cool and he's probably the person I've talked to the most since we swapped. I think I need to talk to him more to make sure that we work together when / if we lose a challenge in the future. Can't make it look like I'm scrambling when the time comes.
Drew: I LOVE DREW. I was allied with Drew in a side season we played once and it was fun playing with him. We all flopped, so I'm hoping he doesn't hold that against me and we can try to work together on NuNadroj.
Karen: Admittedly we ... did not get along that well on Senip. I'm not super happy that we're still on the same tribe. LA got along with Karen way better than I did but I'm hoping she'll want to stick together since we were both penises.
Regan: I still don't know what to think about Regan. I think it'll be easier now that we're Jaidenless to try to work with Regan. Again, because we were both on Senip, I'm hoping she'll want to stick together to keep our numbers strong.
Ruthie: RUTHIE! I also love Ruthie so this is great!! I'm hoping that potentially Drew, Ruthie, and myself ... or maybe Jessica or Liam could have an alliance?? I feel like it's too early to start throwing the idea around but I'm going to try to plant some seeds and see if we can make this happen.
At first when I swapped with Ruthie, I was like “oh no! The only person who didn’t say that they have a right alliance with me!” And I was worried she’d go against me. She still might do that but I don’t care because she’s so nice and I want only good things for Ruthie.
This tribe is cool so far, I don’t know anyone well which is a really nice twist. That hasn’t happened for me in a while and I like playing with new people!
I am worried because apparently Adam got voted out for having “too many friends”. This is hilarious, adam only has one friend, her name is samrah and she is not in this game. But it is worrying because we have basically the same connections so if people were worried about Adam, they are definitely worried about me!
But anyways, who cares. I am putting more thought into this than I want to. I can’t believe I took the effort to make a confessional. Gross.
i am so glad we won! jaiden's score omg that was insane. I never thought anyone could get that good, i envy that alot. But that was amazing. Also glad to be on the same tribe as raffy!
0 notes