The Life You Had in Mind

Waverly smiles placidly at him. “I only ask because the invitation wasn’t entirely clear on the question of a plus one. You see, I was hoping to bring my spouse.” At that moment, you could hear a pin drop in their office. The pen in Gaby’s hand clatters to the desk, and he’s pretty sure Illya’s mouth is hanging open, though he doesn’t turn his head to check. Napoleon recovers first, pasting on a smile that hopefully does something to mitigate the complete and utter shock that must have been showing on his face. “Of course, sir. We, ah. Weren’t aware you had one.” “Naturally,” Waverly replies, his smile tipping toward smug, before he disappears again.

(G, 4.3k, TMFU–Glass Onion crossover; Napoleon/Illya, Waverly/Blanc

When Napoleon decides that a dinner party is the best way to inform their boss of his and Illya's new relationship, Waverly takes the opportunity to introduce the team to the husband they never knew he had.)

Read it on AO3

Imagining Benoit doing his big monologues with a pregnancy waddle instead of his grandiose pacing is so silly 😆

Also I can’t get the idea of Marta babysitting or being close with the kids out of my head

Oh my God, I have so many asks to get through but I had to hop on this immediately! It’s so cute.

People have heard of, read about, and met Benoit Blanc over the years, but those that encounter him when he’s pregnant admit that their preconceived notions about him differ a bit. Some have heard he is a little prone to theatrics, and that is very true, but some amount of that drama is undercut by the fact that he can’t make his grand strides as easily, or that he needs to support his back or belly after a while if he’s been up for a while, or that he needs to actually pause in the middle of one to sit down, lol.

I. ADORE. THAT. Marta, living in the mansion formerly known as the Thromby House with her mother and sister, invites Benoit, Elliot, and Wagner to visit after she’s settled in as a “thank you” for all of their help. Initially, he declines. He greatly appreciates the kindness and he would love to see Marta again, but it’s Waverly’s birthday, you see and— Marta, without any hesitation, invites his whole family, insistent that they have more than enough room and certain that Harlan would have loved to know that the first time the house was full of people again was to celebrate something so sweet. So, despite the difficulties of packing up so many children, Philip and Benoit make the trip to the Thromby House with the girls and find the place decked out in colorful birthday decorations. There is a cake in the fridge (yellow and chocolate, Waverly’s favorite, as informed by Philip), and each girl is given a small present in addition to those provided to the birthday girl. Benoit is utterly surprised and tries to tell Marta that she didn’t need to do such a thing, but she insists. She’s been careful with the money left to her by Harlan, thoughtful of those running the publishing house, and still working as a nurse (it is a passion for her, after all). Her mother was able to secure her citizenship and retire at home while she has been able to pay for her sister’s schooling. She is more than happy to celebrate and provide some gifts to the family of the man that helped her avoid prison for something she didn’t do.

After that celebration, the families remain in close contact. Benoit and Marta call around once a week, with the girls inevitably begging to FaceTime and tell her what they’re up to. Benoit makes efforts to have her and her family visit New York, while making sure to travel down to MA at least a couple of times a year - sometimes on his own, sometimes with Philip, but mainly as a family. Marta has each member’s birthday written on her calendar, and when holidays roll around, she can be sure to open a mess of poorly wrapped packages from the Blanc daughters, offering everything from a collection of colorful stones one of the triplets found to a book Bea saved her pocket money up to buy.

Two of the theater bloggers below wrote about Hamilton this month, but not in a way you might expect. There is a summer theater book reading list, a guide connected to Disability Rights Month, the latest theater accusations, a comparison between stage and screen Albee, and a report of the first in-person stage show in four months….which comes with a rub.

On About Last Night, one of the most consistent surviving theater blogs, Terry Teachout looks at Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf On Screen and Stage “On paper, Mike Nichols’ 1966 film version looked like a disaster in the making….Yet against all odds, the film version of “Virginia Woolf” proved to be a wholly successful big-screen realization of Albee’s play…”

Adam Szymkowicz is back interviewing playwrights, four this month (that’s numbers 1087-1090): Yvette Heyliger, Christina Hamlett Annabelle Lee Revak, Amy Drake

For Disability Pride Month, Melissa Hillman offers what she promises to be the first of several posts, this one entitled Anti-Ableism 101: How to Be A Better Ally (I’m hoping one of them will be about disability and the theater — a rich topic in itself.)

Her post reads like a course syllabus (she’s a professor after all, in addition to being a theater director) — but an especially clear one

Examine Your Expectations Not every disability is visible Disability is not all or nothing Do not assume you know what we need

Language: Refer to us as “people with disabilities”…Put people first. “Avoid … “blind” and “deaf” as metaphors for ignorance”

On Broadway & Me,Janice Simpson offers a list of recommended Theater Books for Summer Reading — two of which I agree wholeheartedly: Playwrights on Television by Hillary Miller and especially Shakespeare in a Divided America by James Shapiro.

On Broadway Journal,  Philip Boroff has (as usual) been breaking news. The latest: Hamilton Producer Received Emergency Small Business Loan

On JK’s Theatre Scene,  Jeff Kyler announces what he considers the three best performances of the decade: Elaine May in the Waverly Gallery; Cynthia Errivo in The Color Purple; Katrina Lenk in The Band’s Visit

  Onstage Blog’s Ryan Burle writes Zoom is Changing Theatre and Tiring You Out, Here’s Why, while Chris Peterson details accusations against Circle in the Square Theatre School leveled by some of its students that are at best insensitive

For Theatre’s Leiter Side, Samuel Leiter continues to post entries from his unpublished  Encyclopedia of The New York Stage, 1970-1976, each entry a different show, organized alphabetically. Among the latest (with an excerpt of his comments): Hay Fever

Some of New York’s best-known actors were involved in this sorry revival of the popular 1925 comedy about Judith Bliss (Shirley Booth), an overly dramatic ex-actress, her eccentric family, and their odd assortment of discomfited June weekend guests. Almost without exception, the critics were allergic to the performance of the egregiously miscast leading lady

The Hashish Club Brought to New York from Los Angeles by its original troupe, members of the Company Theatre, this would-be piece of experimental theatre was yawned off the stage in a week.

On The Play’s The Thing UK, Laura Kressly writes about an actual play in person, not online. Bard in the Yard, a play ironically about how Shakespeare is stuck at home during the 1605 plague. There are a few catches, or rubs as she puts it, cleverly. It was a solo show outdoors in a park, which was performed for just two critics, including Laura. AND: “The show is only bookable for private performances and due to a lack of funding and a need to cover costs, it isn’t cheap.”

  In The Wicked Stage, Rob Weinert-Kendt writes about Hamilton, which he covered for the New York Times before it opened Off-Broadway. His take now: The Moment ‘Hamilton’ Slips Off Track

Hamilton happens to be one of those pop culture staples, like Seinfeld or the Beatles, that you almost don’t need to immerse yourself in deeply to feel soaked in; it’s somehow everywhere all the time, as if it were always there. Still, my tween son’s fervent embrace, and incessant replaying, of the cast album in recent years has imprinted much of it on me afresh. And there’s one part of it that has always brought me up short in the best way…

Theater Blog Roundup: Yes, Hamilton, but also Summer Theater Books, Disability Rights Month, Albee on Stage and Screen Two of the theater bloggers below wrote about Hamilton this month, but not in a way you might expect.

Can Benoit Blanc and Philip have a dog named Archimedes - especially a lock down puppy - inspired by Blanc’s lockdown past time. I don’t know enough about dogs to pick a breed that is fitting. Tho if it is a lockdown puppy I see them as already having and older dog already.

I don't see why not! Loving the name Archimedes, it feels very Benoit to me. I can't decide whether Blanc brings the dog home one day, after a little while in lockdown, and Phillip just rolls his eyes like 'we all know who's going to be taking care of this thing,' or whether it's Phillip who gets the dog in an attempt to cheer Blanc up. I actually like the idea of them adopting an older dog who could use some love, it just feels like a them thing to do. Or Blanc accidentally acquiring a dog as part of case, which also feels like something that would definitely happen at some point.

And if we're going with Phillip-as-Waverly here (and why not, lol), I love the idea of at some point he shows up at UNCLE with dog hair all over his pants—normally he's meticulous about cleaning it off once he leaves the apartment, but he's in a rush or otherwise flustered and so doesn't get to it—and this starts a discussion among the agents about it. Does Waverly have a dog? When did he get it? Who takes care of it when he's working all the time? This would of course be before they learn he has a husband lol. They get in arguments about the dog, about what ibreed it is based on the hair color and length, but they never let Waverly catch them at it (he knows anyway).