#what i wish i'd known
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One-Line Advice that Changed My Life
Those who matter don’t care and those who care don’t matter
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with so choose them wisely
If they’re willing to talk shit to you then they’re willing to talk shit about you
Don’t take advice from someone who isn’t in the position that you are aiming to be in
Likewise, don’t take criticism from someone that you won’t take advice from
Often times your family will be your biggest critics and you just have to accept that and move on
The only person in your life that you will always be able to rely on is you
When arguing with your partner, never forget that it isn’t you versus them; it’s both of you versus the problem
9 times out of 10, anger is just a result of a simple miscommunication
Fact check yourself
If it’s important to you then you’ll find a way, if it’s not then you’ll find an excuse
The only time you truly fail is when you don’t try
It’s always better to feel good than to look good
You can never say “I love you” too much to anyone or anything
Longevity doesn’t always equal success
By refusing to make a decision, you are, in fact, making a decision
Applauding someone else’s success doesn’t dampen yours
A bad grade is better than no grade so always always always submit something
If you truly matter to them then they will make time
It only takes a second for you to compliment someone but for them it could last a lifetime
Similarly, negative words have just as much power so use them sparingly
Focus on the step in front of you; not the whole staircase
No one has the power to make you feel small unless you give you them that power
Your new life is going to cost you your old one; are you willing to make that sacrifice?
If you don’t think that you’re attractive, that doesn’t mean that you’re not attractive; that just means that you aren’t your type
You can’t control how people feel about you so you need to just accept that you will inevitably be the villain in someone else’s mind
Likewise, just because somebody doesn’t like you doesn’t mean that everybody doesn’t like you
Every master was once a beginner so all of your mistakes will eventually pay off
If they cheated on you once then they’ll cheat on you again, because they wouldn’t have cheated on you in the first place if they were truly happy in your relationship
It’s not a bargain unless you need it
If it isn’t a “fuck yes” then it’s a “fuck no” and this applies to everything; clothes, relationships, career options, etc.
Life is too damn short not to fill it with “fuck yes” choices
It’s up to you to give your life meaning so if your life feels meaningless, then you need to start making changes
You can acknowledge an apology without accepting it
Everyone likes to pretend that they have it all figured out when the truth is no one does but that’s okay too
Even your worst days can only last 24 hours
The only person that you should ever compare yourself to is who you were yesterday
Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a decision, a commitment, and a choice
Your family isn’t your blood, but rather the people you would bleed for
If you aren’t willing to work for it then don’t complain about not having it
Always wear sunscreen
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When I was a young excited physics student I went down to my advisor and asked for a job in a lab. Those of you who are in the sciences may recognize this as exceedingly common, most schools with science departments will hire undergrads for their labs both to give the undergrads experience and to have someone comparatively cheap to do the least skilled labor in those labs.
For me, the lab I was sent to was one doing cool photonics projects and I was assigned to a guy who was doing the theoretical modeling for them and I got put on a side project for them to develop a method to double check their results using Monte Carlo simulations.
Put bluntly, I toiled away in the little cubicle they had me in for about half a year before I transferred to a different school without ever having produced anything of any particular value other than a Monte Carlo simulation whose temperature readings were not taking into account the existence of a heat sink and therefore got overwhelmed by thermal photons in a completely inaccurate and unhelpful way.
Ultimately, many tasks, farmed out like this in a speculative way to undergrads, fail, certainly it's not exceptional that mine did and I learned a lot about the process in the process, so it wasn't wasted time for me, but it produced absolutely nothing the lab could use to further its results.
This is where it turns from a little anecdote about my work history into a morality tale, because what I have thus far deliberately failed to tell you is that the lab I was assigned to is a provider of radar services to the US Military. Had I produced anything of any value whatsoever the work I did would have been used by the US military to help with its capacity to deliver bombs. This is, unfortunately, as those of you who are in the sciences may recognize, also exceedingly common. Luckily, and through no foresight or moral thinking of my own, simply the inexperience of youth, I produced nothing of value but view the path they tried to set me down as a grim warning of what might have been.
I'm not asking for forgiveness, the harm I might have done was not done by me, although I'm also sure was done without my help. They didn't need it to be me they just needed someone with basic calculus knowledge who wouldn't think too hard about the connection between the work and the world, and they were happy enough that particular warm body was me.
So this is my plea, if you're young and getting involved in the sciences because you're passionate about knowledge and understanding our place in the universe. When you go to get that job in that lab that's such a good stepping stone to the next thing you want to do, take a second and look into where that lab's funding is coming from. If it turns out it's the military, maybe then take another second and really deeply consider what kind of thing your work can be used to do and if you would like some of the most bloodthirsty people on the planet to be able to do that thing because of your help.
I got lucky that I didn't help, but I'm hoping that with this warning you might be able to not help on purpose which is a greater moral good than what I managed.
#IDK been thinking about this a lot recently for obvious reasons#I should've known better at the time too to be clear I was just blinded by excitement#If I'd stayed at that school and that lab and got to the level where I could contribute#They would have happily sent me to the Raytheon office down the street#Where I would've been well paid as my soul chipped away at itself#And I will never not resent the structure of the system that had that future in mind for me#I feel extra foolish for having nearly fallen for it considering my grandfather's history as a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists#Which is in part because he didn't talk much about that with us grandkids in large part because we weren't old enough early enough#There's a lot I wish he could've talked to me about now that I'm old enough to really understand it#But back to the point tell your advisor 'I'm not comfortable working in a military lab do you have any other options'#That's what I wish I'd said#Meanwhile my dad (the legend) claims to have cost the military millions of hours of productivity and credibly so
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This was Kermit’s first time actually competing in an agility trial-- at the previous one I only had him entered as FEO.
His Jumpers Starters run was amazing. I think he was a bit tired by then because he was slowing down a bit on the final stretch, but again I love the enthusiasm. He had a great time and was very popular with the audience.
I believe he was also the only 4-inch dog entered in the trial.
#kermit#dachshund#agility#usdaa#literally we left the ring and a bunch of people ran over#'if I'd known dachshunds could do agility I'd have done it with mine!'#'maybe I need one of these'#'what an amazing little dog'#the judge told me she'd wished she'd known I was entered#because she would have given me her dachshund shirt#anyway run dachshunds in agility#it's great
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me starting picnic at hanging rock: oooh, madeleine madden wearing pretty clothes and looking beautiful in a period drama? sign me up!
me finishing picnic at hanging rock:
#call me a simpleton who needs everything spoonfed to them and can't deal with uncertainty but i hate unsolved mysteries 😭😭😭#granted i think if i'd known ahead of time that it never spells out what happened i would've been a-okay with the ending#it's the spending 6 hours excited for the Mystery Reveal and then not getting it that did me in#(and i know the novel it's based on doesn't spell it out either. i know that NOW anyway. wish i'd known it beforehand!)#but in better news#madeleine? beautiful. costumes? beautiful. scenery? beautiful. queerness? off the charts#i wish she'd had more screentime though! her character felt like the least fleshed out of the 3 girls#could've used 50% less miranda being Not Like Other Girls and 50% more marion
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Thinking about this picture I got of Laura Jane Grace a the Danforth Music Hall (Oct. 2019)
#laura jane grace#against me!#i'm in my feelings today okay#i wish i'd known more of her music when we saw her live. this was a crazy turbulent time in my life#and it does NOT feel like it was so many years ago. what the fuck.#am i posting this to subtly remind my beloved that they will look beautiful as they transition bc they just started T blockers?#mmmaybe. because ljg is a huge icon for them and she's beautiful. and my partner has been very scared and nervous <3#no need to be scared anymore my love
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So, I wish to gently put this reminder out here, because we find that we've been in this position once more where there's a high activity of stalking by our perpetrator who we knew from the rpc since February 4--- last time we read her being tracked on November 12 - 14 last year--- I am highly uncomfortable to interact with a muse who have a history of manipulation and / or especially stalking. I do believe muse =/= mun and I am okay to talk and read about manipulation and stalking, but while providing trigger tag + warning of them would be most appreciated to give me the chance of building mental preparation to read them, we prefer not to plot and write with that kind of character for our comfort and wellbeing. At the very least, I'd still like to be in touch with the mun out of character and / or interact with their different muse, if they have any, instead. Thank you so much. ♡
#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ PSA . ›#[ I want place this out because we are mutuals with some who writes horror centric muses ]#[ and while I'd still like to seek friendships and we are okay to be mutuals with those who writes that kind of character ]#[ with our past ( + unfortunately current ) experiences and my usual erratic mental state ]#[ I think putting ourselves in an active writing / plotting based interactions with the knowledge of what that muse does ]#[ will prompt unwanted memories and hitting home sense of familiarity ]#[ I hope this makes sense... ]#[ so basically : ]#[ we're okay being mutuals ( as doing so ext. selectively ) with who writes stalkers + manipulators and following /back/ those blogs ]#[ but we wish not to put ourselves and our muse in a position of directly interacting with those muses for our sake ]#[ so we'll likely at least watch that muse in the background while engaging in ooc interactions with the muns in some ways. ]#[ okay gonna take a nap while our wolf week cramps are killing us but ]#[ I don't want this psa to discourage anyone in being mutuals with us still ]#[ or feel bad about who they're writing ]#[ people can still be mutuals even if no ic interactions get done much or at all ]#[ and I've written the Corinthian and Mephistopheles who are known to be manipulative stalkers ]#[ I still would be okay to write and talk about them if given a chance despite everything ]#[ but we at least kindly ask to please tag manipulation and especially stalking to give us that heads-up and mentally prepare if possible ]#[ thank you again so much ♡ ]
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There is something I find incredibly juicy about Yae realizing that her having a hand with sending Sara to the Kujou Clan has inadvertently made Sara into the person she is today and feeling regret over it, knowing the Kujou’s treatment of Sara. Or even deeper remorse, if you’re exploring the route of the Kujous (especially Takayuki) being neglectful or abusive towards her.
Kagura’s Verity (Yae’s weapon) description:
Sara’s personality profile from the wiki:
Sara’s vision story
There’s different explorations of Yae’s regret, but I think most of it boils down to the lines of this notes in one of the particular fics with this topic:
I think that Yae is a character who does not have many regrets but the ones she does have eat her up like I eat room temperature pizza at 2 am
#yae#yae miko#sara#kujou sara#genshin impact#teyvatisms#i'd ramble in the tags but i have a feeling itll be borderline incoherent because im tired and my vision is spinning#kujou sara angst really just hits hard for me#there's osmething about your one purpose in life and maybe the only thing you think you're good at turning out to be worthless/terrible#and the people that have raised you for that purpose turning out to have used you for their own selfish gain and hurting the people you're#supposed to be protecting in the first place and you wished you would have known better#i know there's other people who have a better grasp on sara's character/lore considering i've done fuckall with the inazuma achonquest#sara hangout WHEN HOYO#lol i just said i wouldn't ramble in the tags but look what jst hapepngi
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It's been 9 years.
#i wanted to make a comic or something but i just couldn't#i can't put my own old problems in the front when my people are currently suffering RIGHT NOW#but it's been 9 years and I- am tired#will i ever stop feeling like something was robbed from me? i don't even wish i could go back or change it i just wish i'd known#what could have been#i miss you the me that never existed
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oh my god kalinda sharma actually is in love with alicia florrick isn't she
#'alicia. it's about alicia. that's what you care about.'#ahhhhhhhhhhh! reader i gasped.#and all of this right after alicia's (correct) surmising that if they'd known each other in their pasts they would have hated each other#which alicia said specifically bc *alicia* was different#in response to kalinda's wistful 'i wish i'd known you then'#bc of course it's actually about kalinda and kalinda's past#anyway hello i'm on another new-to-me old lawyer show#don't worry i know how this one ends i'm not getting overinvested but i am gonna enjoy the ride while it lasts#i'm already seeing all the ways their reconciliation could have been so narratively good and i'm preemptively *sighs* about it#anyway sorry 2 all of us that apparently archie panjabi and julianna marguiles didn't like each other bc their characters are *fire emoji*#amy watches tgw
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Two sansas, both different versions of the green dress at sansa II AGOT and another example of how I can't keep a consistent depiction of faces. don't know why but this dress (and the whole chapter) have always been marked rather strongly on my imagination, it is such a special sansa chapter for me. The dress on the left is more accordingly to my imagination (and older, hence why the hair is more orange) and the one in the right fits better my ideia of fashion in the books. Not a lot of differences between one another but still quite a few, so I thought i post them both.
Also thanks so much @nobodysuspectsthebutterfly for the incredible and generous tip of adding brown to the hair (i did that on the sansa on the right and don't know if made it right way though), which is something that I would never thought of. Colored pencil are an amazing and confusing thing to work with.
#sansa stark#house stark#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#my art#fanart#valyrianscrolls#I wish I'd known that tip when I was making the sansa on the left#She got a much more orange hair#The one on the left is in general much less polished#Read it as ugly#But what is done is done I guess#A pity that bird embroidery didn't work that much for me#So there's only one bird on the dress on the right#Also there are a lot of lemon flowers#The next sansa will probably be in a sansan scene
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I hateeee phone calls and appointments but I have 2 rlly important ones I need to do ughhh
#💭#i need to go to the doctor to confirm i'm still using my birth control before they can refill it again#which i wish i'd known before i was like. out#i mean it's not a huge rush bc i don't need it for its intended purpose#it just regulates my cycle rlly well and makes my cramps very minimal#compared 2 when i was younger when i had horrible cramps and a completely inconsistent cycle#but i still need to go in like asap it's already been like a week#and i need 2 call the dentist too bc i've got weird dark spots/stains or smthn appearing on my teeth outta nowhere#idk whats causing them i don't drink tea or coffee or soda like ever#just tea on super rare occasions#ughhh#stupid LOL. sorry 2 ramble
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youtube
collaborated with @poppies-for-thirteen and made a video of their collage poem
cw for flashing images and glitchy sound and visual effects
#LOVED doing this#was super fun#loved how it was all back and forth the whole way#my favourite parts are#the sequence from 0:03-0:05#'i wish i never told anyone' under 13 with her watch and yaz with the coin. each with their own secrets bc theyre too much alike <3#'you cant say your wish out loud' and 13 quietly begging to be given a reason to stay a bit longer#the heartbeat. at some points especially it makes really nice transitions where text fades out on it or the image cuts#or when 13 is on the sofa in 11x1 vs on the floor in 12x10#the entire sequence after yaz says 'i'd rather not have met her cus' and then it's like a slideshow of their greatest hits/reasons why#0:28-0:33 'can we just live in the present' 13 in yazs apartment looking at rOTTING GARBAGE THAT HASNT BEEN DISPOSED OF PROPERLY#yaz looking at her all hearteyes bc she doesnt mind living in this present for a bit either#'somewhere i can never find it' with 13 being bad at hiding secrets like yaz can see all the secrets in plain sight but she doesnt get to#know what they are. 'somewhere i can never find it' o's hut with all the files. something something hidden in plain sight again#'a life i never knew' with ruth and 13 driving up to fake life lighthouse and then it's yaz in her old job and yaz in her timestorm au#the life they never knew being like. both literally and also roads not taken. what if yaz had never met the doctor.#what if the doctor could have a normal stationary life. lives they havent known#'i want to fix myself' with 13 looking Like That at tesla makes me want to CRY#plus then yaz of course for double points#'i wish this would go on forever' + 13 counting endless days on the wall#'i want to forgive myself' with 13 saying 'im just a traveller' like.... babe <3 im gonna scream#i know i made it. still#that one distorted shot of 13 falling bleeding through the shot from the end of arachnids where theyre about to pull the lever together#and yaz looking up at 'i want to tell you everything' and the letters all wobbling like that#i acknowledge that this is most of the video that is my favourite part#but it's a good video i like it :)#okay im logging off now for real. had to do this video real quick but now im gonna go touch grass. see you later
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Tell me something about the kids that surprised you after you started Sins of the Father? What quirk in them came out of left field or a dynamic that surprised you?
Yorick’s goddam anxiety & Rhaella having the most elaborate self-insert OC that's out here putting my own childhood efforts to shame. I had such vivid ideas in my head of what they'd be exactly like & their trajectories, & that stuff is still there (at least in spirit. There's a little cut content that just doesn't exist anymore), but I got taken by the hands & these co-dependant 7-year-olds were like "we must show you the way."
Like, Yorick was always going to be the quiet & introverted one of the duo that kept a lot of shit internal & just kind of didn't really open up/wasn't 100% honest to protect people's feelings, but writing his chapters just kinda carried me away & had me giving him the most "oh, he's an old soul" trauma spirals of hyperawareness. It's honestly kind of interesting that this has happened? Sad, but interesting.
I can't really speak on TF is going on with Rhaella. It started as a silly little one-off to fill space in a game they were playing early on in the first chapter (just because I take how absolutely wild the soap opera ass plots little girls give their dolls very seriously), & now it has spiraled into "there is canon lore to Ella's games & stories that I keep dropping & she names her future daughter after this self-insert OC from her childhood." I don't know what's going on with how I keep pulling this stuff out of my ass, but I'm invested.
I can't say much for Aemon yet, because in narrative he's currently 2. I am very much looking forward to where exactly he winds up going if it's gonna be as wildly unexpected as things have been for his older siblings!
#asks#thanks so much thajjfjqkfns#another unexpected thing but that i don't want to touch on much atm: The Larys Dynamic#i introduced in early & remembered what *i* have done with the strong family tree#and it kinda...ballooned#it started innocuous & is just gonna get weirder#he was just gonna be a cheat to easily get to a scene i wanted & now he's increasingly uncomfortable 😭#im lowkey obsessed but i wish I'd known i was going here first gbakfbakcna#fic: sins of the father#oc: ella royce#oc: Yorick Royce#sotf commentary
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going through my dream daddy saves and when i first played i did the routes in order of which i thought would be my least to most favorite
#random thoughts#dream daddy#so it goes damien hugo mat craig brian joseph robert#i'd order them differently now in some ways but mostly yeah that. that tracks.#hugo and mat are both my least favorite routes because they both lack any character growth and i feel like their characters are the weakest#hugo is definitely the better out of the two of them though#then brian. wish he was better. and fatter. generally wish there was more body diversity ig#EVERYONE HAS THE SAME JAW SHAPE WHAT'S THE DEAL#anyway i've gone into why i don't like brian's route before so i wont get into it too much#his route is based around the avatar's character flaws rather than his own and the romance is rushed on brian's part#why is brian into the avatar if he's been nothing but fucking mean to him????#and then damien#not much to say about damien#very forgettable. not much done wrong but not much done right either. solid 5/10.#and now for my top three!!!#number 3: craig. craig is probably my favorite character just because of how well he bounces off others#he's such a fucking people pleaser it's so fun#his arc about learning to not sacrifice his own happiness for his children is SO GOOD#wish there was more of an underlying basis to the relationship between the avatar and craig but that's difficult to do in a dating sim so eh#like he'd be THE GUY to mention the mc's dead spouse right. wouldn't they have known each other.#like obviously the reason they haven't talked since college is because life and kids getting in the way#but i feel like they could have ruminated on that a bit more#fucking hate the baby toy search in the park. only part of the game where i gave up and looked shit up#aside from the trivia game but that doesn't count#anyway craig 7/10 on the basis everyone else was worse#number two! JOSEPH MY MAIN FUCKER HOW ARE YOU DOING YOU BASTARD#fucking love joseph. his dynamic with his wife and kids and ROBERT oh my god wtf happened between them#he's such a strong character. fucking hate his ass wish i could have swam away from that boat#number one!!!! the man the myth the legendary ghost hunter ROBERT!!!!!!!#again another strong character who has great dynamics with other characters fucking bounces off other people so well
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I was about to commit the unthinkable and go back and read gtexts between me and someone I used to know that I don't speak to anymore. I miss them a lot, so much and sometimes I wonder where they are, what they think of me now, how I managed to royally fuck it up or whether it was even my fault (even if I blame myself for everything) and where I went wrong and whether they know I still love and value them and wish I didn't because they cut me loose so quickly and how it's possible to care about someone who never cared about you unless it was conditionally in the first place and i just miss them.
#whelp here come the tears#and there are songs i cant listren to anymore because of them#and i miss them i miss them i miss them so much that it aches#i only wish i'd been enough back then and maybe if i'd been less me and more someone else they could have staye d#i wish i'd known what i'd done wrong#and why it still hurts whn its been this long and i know they dont think of me anymore#and i still think of them often and wonder whether theyre okay or not#and im just sorry i wasnt the type of person worth it to them#i wish i was i wish i had done better
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Clawing at the walls I hate that I don't have enough time to keep up with all the QSMP and Purgatory POVs / lore I'm interested in, I JUST WANNA KNOW WHATS HAPPENING!!!! I WANNA SEE IT ALL!!!!!!
#i talk#qsmp talk#purgatory talk#IM A SPONGE FOR KNOWLEDGE AND INFORMATION AND THE CONSTANT FLOW IS EXCEEDING MY ABILITY TO ABSORB#by which I mean being an adult with a full-time job makes it so hard to be a QSMP fan OTL#I just wanna know all the things... and not just summaries I want all the juicy details#I want to know the exact quotes I need primary sources#I don't like hearing things second-hand and even when I DO hear them from trusted sources#I like looking things up myself because#what was the tone? what was the context? what was the response to what was said?#It's important!!! It can change my entire perspective rather than if I just took a quote or summary at face value!!!!#agh!!!!#QSMP / MCYT as a whole was the worst possible media for me to get into because it's IMPOSSIBLE to know it all#Meanwhile I'm cited the official gosh dang Transf0rmers wiki#because I'm literally the ONLY person who transcribed an interview from one of the (at the time) recent TV show writers#I wish I'd known how to archive / download streams at the time. It's lost media and I'm so glad I summarized things / transcribed stufd#* stuff. But I could've done it even better...#anyways that's a big reason why I run R.A. I want the clips for my own sake but I also like providing context for other fans#agh. I AM mostly exhilarated with the Purgatory 2 things because Quackity's commentating is SO fun#and it's a good way for me to keep up w/ multiple POVs without watching 10 streams at once#but I'm still missing out on things. And I've missed SO MUCH QSMP lore.#I never used to miss a Phil stream but now I'm so behind on VODs#OTL#none of this is super serious complaining this is more of a ''man wouldn't it be nice if I could do it all?'' thing#Anyways. Idk if you read tags Bell but if you see this — you're a real one for posting so many clips#I appreciate you so much#*** Meanwhile I'm cited on#missed a word there
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