#what goes in their head and shit??? THE INNER MONOLOGUES AND DRAMA ?????
Note
okay I read your analysis on Forget Me Not and I'm in tears now thank you. (No but really thank you, it's such a touching piece.) Can you PLEASE for salvation of our fans souls write anything to like,,, give him hope? Forget Me Not x reader but it doesn't have to be actually all-out with hugs and kisses. We may,,,,,,,, just show him a new hobby? Any hobby of your choosing or idk play an instrument together. Just to give him something else to focus on, to channel at least part of his energy from self-destructive activities to something less hurtful. I'd personally like to bandage his (not actually wounded but still) hands as if they were bleeding. Something of the kind. Sorry for mistakes writing is incredibly inconvenient cuz tears aaa.
;R1999 FORGET ME NOT - "hands, fingers, scales"
Forget Me Not x Reader.
2.3k words.
self-harm implied
You've befriended Forget Me Not the same one befriends a rabid, beaten, old dog. And while he's much too busy fighting his inner demons, you're more worried about stopping these "pernicious habits" of his. A casual afternoon trying to make sure he's taking care of himself turns into something deeper.
thank you so much for the ask, nonnie!!
I got a little carried away with this request because thinking about how fucking insufferable and confusing FMN has to be just to indulge in HAND HOLDING and GETTING A FUCKING HOBBY made me so deranged and feral as if hes not fucking TOUCHSTARVED lmfao. this guy's love language is straight up worshipping, mf is not subtle about it
either way, hope you like it! here's the lil preview!
Sometimes, Forget Me Not understands the reason men and women kneel at the pew to worship and pray.
Devotion is something arcanists and humans share, whether honest or not. He's witnessed the rich and the poor, the pure and the depraved, and every binary that rules this world - all of them begging, pleading and praying at the end of their lives, casting away the pride they've held on for so long for the chance of salvation. Once stripped down to their core, there is nothing to do but hope God has enough love in His heart to look their way.
And sometimes, Forget Me Not prays that you’ll find someone else - anyone but him - to fill the role of devotee.
The gentleness in your eyes whenever you look at him is enough to bring him to his knees, and Forget Me Not doesn't know what to do with himself but to worship and pray. Praying that you'll continue to look at him for a little longer, silently begging for your attention until you finally tire of him. Do you think yourself holy enough to replace the vitriol in his veins?
He does.
On good days, he even hopes that you can save him.
You never asked him to become your one and only believer, of course. You're not even aware of the space you take in his mind, nor the conflicting images he keeps conjuring of you at night, he's certain of this. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here, holding his hands and inspecting them for any injuries. This role is one of the many self-imposed tragedies in his life.
Your thumbs knead and massage his palm, as if you could soothe the pain away, and yet you refrain from pressing down hard. He's at your mercy, why hesitate? What do you see that he cannot?
Something is bothering you. It's obvious in the way you touch him, like you're afraid of hurting him, as if you were the one with a body count between the two. Every so often, your movements come to a halt and you both sit in silence, until you return to your ministrations, filling the nothingness with your sighing and humming.
All he needs is to look up, right at your face, to know everything he wants to know - but he's too much of a coward for that. Instead, light grey eyes follow your index finger as it slides under the cuffs of his shirt. You trace over the bone of his wrist and continue upwards.
He can't tear his eyes away.
Normally, Forget Me Not wouldn't mind. There is an addictive thrill to witnessing the shock of anyone who dares get so close and personal, but he feels himself shrink when you brush against his scales and recoil away on instinct. That's when he raises his head and finds your eyes in the dimly lit staff room.
That expression on your face - surely, you were regretting every choice that led you to him. By now, you might've surely realized that there is nothing for you to salvage in this shipwreck he calls a life. All attempts to check on him were surely a façade for whatever ulterior motives you continued to withhold from him. He's stubborn, believing that he can read you like an open book, but now he's just as lost as you are. When he opens his mouth to speak, you beat him to it and he grows a little restless at your words.
"Sorry, sorry! Did I, uh, hurt you? Dumb question, you would've definitely told me if that were the case. Anyway, it looks like you're okay! I don't know why I was so worried, actually."
His silence prompts you to continue, and all Forget Me Not can focus on is the absence of your warmth.
You raise a hand to gesture dismissively at your behaviour, brush it off to ease your embarrassment, that much he understands - though it's painful to watch you fumble like that, to deny what he hides under his clothes. Forget Me Not thinks of filling the space between your fingers with his own, just to drag you back to that quiet, albeit suffocating, moment of peace. Instead of doing that, he retreats and places both hands neatly on his lap.
"Thanks for indulging me and, yeah uh, again - sorry about that? It just caught me off guard. I should've been more careful."
But you were never careful with his space or his rules, plunging in and out of his life and leaving him to figure out where he stood in his game of push and pull. Why were you being careful now?
"It's nothing, I understand," he lies. Everything you do means the world to him and he doesn't even understand why. "It cannot hurt to know what sort of things the person pouring your drinks might be hiding under their sleeves."
The word "hypocrite" lingers at the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill out with as much venom as he can muster, but it stays lodged behind his teeth because he knows he's even worse: Forget Me Not prays that you'll stay with him, while also opening the door right out his life for you. As much as he wants to, he has no right of calling you out.
He's not used to receiving apologies and so he chooses not to think too hard on yours - though he's dreamed countless of times for the perfect situation in which he finally rips out one apology after another from the throats of those who wronged him, this one feels different. Undeserved, even.
His heart, that wretched lump in his chest, finally settles down and he prepares to end this interaction to save you the awkwardness of addressing his "deformities". But then you go and surprise him once more.
"Come on, I already told you..." You sigh and he inhales in tandem, but you're much too busy rolling your eyes to notice. "That whole thing you do, when you start scratching or, like, picking at your hand? You've been doing it more lately. It had me worried you might've been doing, I don't know - something."
Forget Me Not's eyes widen in surprise. The audacity to notice such things about him? And to put them on display without a warning? What else did you find out?
Part of him wants him to embrace his nature and scare you away, but that's the side of him that's been slowly losing this battle of attrition in his heart - you're a bad influence for him, after all. The other part... Well, it's still trying to sort itself out.
He settles for slowly undoing the buttons on his sleeve. It only takes a moment to roll up the fine fabric to his elbow, knowing you're staring right at him, through him maybe. The expression on his face is one of indifference, one he fights to maintain - this is the most vulnerable he's felt in decades.
That unsightly pattern begins exactly where his sleeves usually end, coiling around his forearm not unlike a snake and traveling upwards. The scales are dark, an iridescent black that reminds him of an oil spill in the middle of the ocean, and the ones at the edges fade away into lighter hues until they mix with the pale, sickly tone of his skin. He knows the sort of beauty he holds, one that can only be admired at a distance, turning into a grotesque imitation of a man when up close.
Forget Me Not presents himself to you and, with his free hand, gets ready to pluck one of the scales off.
"Wait, don't do that-!"
Seizing his arm and holding it close to your chest, you deprive him of the catharsis that comes with this level of self-mutilation. He knows you're connecting the dots, feeling the scattered, empty spaces from all the times you saw him pick himself apart and more. Your fingers brush against his bare skin looking for said spaces, counting them in your head, mourning their loss.
Some scales are in the process of regrowing like unwanted parasites, and he wishes he could feel anything at all just to be closer to you.
"God, what is wrong with you?! What was the point of that?"
Something compels him to laugh (perhaps it's your heartbeat reaching out to him loud and clear through your clothes, he feels it faintly) it comes across as sinister and condescending, the only way he knows how to express joy. Like he's making fun of your concern.
"Apologies," Forget Me Not begins to say, readjusting his glasses. The way you try to keep his own arm out of his reach doesn't go unnoticed. It's such a petty, childish gesture that makes his grin widen and your frown deepen. "I was under the impression you found this little oddity distasteful. There's no need to worry - they will return in a few days, they always do."
"Still, don't do that. It's not funny. It must...hurt a lot."
"Ah, but it doesn't. If else, I'd compare it to being pricked by a very small needle."
"You're just going to find something to nitpick and contradict everything I say, aren't you?" It's the least he can do to repay all the headaches you've given him, and for forgiving his transgressions too easily.
An intrusive thought makes itself known from the depths of his mind - would you forgive him just as readily if he were to kill someone in front of you? If he showed you just how destructive his arcane skills could be when given free reign? Where would you draw the line? And how much could he continue to push his luck before he lost you?
Before Forget Me Not realizes it, you've loosened your grip on his arm and returned to that previous moment of suffocating peace - the only difference is that you've gone from being deep in thought to troubled and miserable, one hair away from darting out the room and refusing to speak to him. At this, his pinky finger wraps around yours and neither of you mention it.
"Can't you... I don't know, do something else?"
"I could be doing my job, but alas, you're keeping me prisoner here." He says, like he's not delighted to be given your undivided attention. There are no complaints when you step on his foot with a huff, he deserved that one.
"I'm talking about the scales thing! You could wear gloves. If it happens when you get distracted then, I could hang around to make sure you stop in time." A pause, and then the sound of your voice becomes unsure and so very small. "Maybe if we covered them with bandages...? But that could be annoying. Band aids? No, no - too unprofessional. It would ruin the whole aesthetic you're going for."
You continue to trail off, coming up with many different ideas and solutions to a problem he caused. He doesn't understand why you'd even bother in the first place. For you to reciprocate the attention he gives you, to care about him? That's the hardest pill Forget Me Not has ever swallowed - it's something he twirls around with his tongue, as if deciding whether to poison himself with bliss or spit it out and continue latching on to his doubts and insecurities.
Outside, in front of everyone at The Walden, he's the one leading the crowd and talking for hours on end, commanding their attention and manipulating the flow of every conversation.
Behind closed doors, all he does is listen to every nonsensical thought, unnecessary opinion and strange anecdote you throw at him.
"...No, that won't work either." Absentmindedly, you fix and button his sleeve back into place.
You've grown used to his silence the same way you've adapted and grown used to his flaws.
"I mean, it worked on me - getting a little slap on the wrist whenever I started biting my nails, but..." Without even thinking, you rub circles with your thumb across his knuckles.
You might as well be the stupidest angel in heaven.
"Why don't you just get a hobby? That's good enough, right? It's been so long since I've heard you play piano, the one by the stage." And just like that, you're on your feet attempting to drag him outside for a demonstration. "You could teach me! That way, we get to do something fun and I get to keep an eye on you."
Forget Me Not knows he has nothing to offer to this world, but when his saint looks at him with such hope, he cannot refuse. The path to recovery seems almost doable when you bump your shoulder into his, challenging him to play the hardest song he knows.
The stars in your eyes whenever you recognize all the songs he plays becomes intoxicating, more so than the sweet, sweet revenge he's yearned for since he spiraled into decadence.
Some days, his patrons join with their own singing or humming, and he forgets that he hates each and every one of them for as long as his fingers dance across the keys - a momentary reprieve from the constant stream of negativity. It doesn't take long for his body to remember his training and soon, he's improvising.
A melody for gloomy, rainy days. A whimsical tune here and there for celebrations.
A song for you and himself - the first one he teaches you and the only one he plays in private, when he's all alone with nothing but his thoughts. Solitude has gone from a noose wrapped around his neck to the perfect time to compose and hone this long forgotten passion. For the first time in forever, he doesn't dread the silence of an empty room, the endless wait between his shifts at The Walden - not when he can simply fill them with more and more music.
And so, Forget Me Not plays, hoping that you'll continue to cheer him on. Hoping that this tiny spark you've ignited in him can truly become his salvation.
#reverse 1999#reverse: 1999#r1999#reverse 1999 x reader#reverse 1999 fanfic#reverse 1999 forget me not#forget me not#outing myself as a huge fuckin religion/devotion as a metaphor for relationships freak#and as a hand freak as well. love it when the smallest acts of intimacy are the BIGGEST FUCKING DEALS for characters who are touchstarved#i love writing reader inserts from the pov of the character instead of the reader like#what goes in their head and shit??? THE INNER MONOLOGUES AND DRAMA ?????#FORGET ME NOT'S WHOLE ACT IS A COVER FOR THE FUCKING MESS HE IS WHEN YOU LOOK AT HIMMMMM!!!!!!!#soggiest wettest most pathetic man at manus vindictae#i hope i got his whole fuckin two faced and contradicting mentality across. mf is not having a good time healing but my GOD hes. trying#he hates you but he loves you but god he hates you so much but yeah he'll still worship the ground you walk on#the title is a pun btw. scales. musical scales. his snake scales#IM VERY SMART
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Love Reading 🌤️- December 2023 - Capricorn
Singles:
Overall energy: 5 Wands
How you will meet: 5 Cups
How they will treat you: 8 Cups rev, 8 Swords & 9 Swords
Long-term Potential: The Magician
You know this person, whoever they dated before you is a total charmer that loves attention from other people, that’s how you’d know them 😆 Their energy is very guarded, not against you though, they just don’t want to get caught up in some crazy situation that leaves them fkd. I don’t think they talk about it much, this is someone that stresses out on their own, they like to handle things on their own, very hands off when it comes to particular things - especially money. Because they don’t talk about it, you probably feel like they don’t care, but I don’t get that from them. I get they’re attracted to you, but this is someone that wants to move sloooowww, and it has nothing to do with you, everything to do with them. Heartbroken on your side feels like you also getting in your head, making up answers for questions you won’t ask them.
Clear communication from you both would help a lot. I don’t get anything they’re doing being an intent to hurt you. 5 Wands can be feeling conflicted inside, or it can be actual conflict, with The Sun, this all needs to be discussed and brought to light. They’re terrified of being stuck in something, possibly averse to commitment, but I think that’s learned through difficult experiences. This is an “I got it” kind of person, and it may have taken them a long time to get to a place where they got it, they’re used to being around people they can’t trust. They are moving towards you, they’re crazy about you via messages, but you can’t read them and their inner monologue goes 1000x a minute while their mouth & expressions are silent - Poker Face. I get this possibly being the one though 😆 Long term is creating 10 Cups with you, that’s a happy fairy tale kind of ending. However you’re reading this person, I don’t think it’s accurate, but they also don’t communicate or trust and that’s a problem.
Messages -
Their side:
- Shady ex’s
- Obsessed with YOU
Your side:
- Shy ☺️
- Light of my Life 💡
Oracles -
Their side: POKER FACE ♦️
- Taking a Chance
- Risks & Options
- Not Showing Hand
- Gambling
Your side: HEARTBROKEN 💔
- Deeply Hurt & Sad
- Feeling Lost
- Grieving & Despair
- Breakup
Signs you may be dealing with:
Heavy Gemini, Leo, Scorpio & Virgo
Couples:
Overall energy: Temperance rev
Current: Knight of Cups
Challenge: 4 Cups
How they feel about you: 5 Wands
How you feel about them: King of Wands
Outcome: The Moon & Queen of Wands rev
You are being quite difficult this month, at least in this reading. Your person is a very social creature from what I can tell, they like to gather with people, whether friends or family, especially in the month of holidays where people gather. For some, this could be regarding your own birthday, and not wanting to make it a big deal, which would definitely explain the confidence & “piss off” attitude. You’ll do what YOU want on your own day, not what other people want you to do ✌️
You don’t give a hot damn about gatherings, friends, even family members for some of you. Could be particular people, could be whole groups, one gathering or many, at some point you’re done. Don’t wanna. Pass. And it’s likely to cause some drama. It could be a gathering that you have to drive far to get to, that could be the thing that makes you…no thanks. You’re not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings, or maybe someone in this gathering has hurt yours, and you’re not just going to pretend things are fine cuz they’re not, fk them. Very stubborn energy from you, I’m sure there’s a reason, but your person just sees it as you being pigheaded, and maybe stingy with money (true or not).
Their feelings are you’re competitive, starting shit, drama, full on mean & vindictive, 5 Wands & 5 Swords is not the best energy, and it’s connected to leaving behind 10 Pentacles. a family, yours or theirs, they see you as mean. I’m not sure what your motives are, it just shows you as unwilling to cooperate here, but their view of you is very negative. I doubt you care. Your feelings are either complete confidence in being alone, or they’re a “strong independent person” that can go by themselves/do it alone, either side. Maybe they want you to go everywhere with them and you’re like “dude I don’t care about your work party, YOU go, have fun”. It doesn’t feel like either person is wrong, maybe with how it’s coming out, you’re just different, but in one or two cases you’re being made out to be the bad guy here…if so you’re aware 💯
Outcome for mid-Jan, your person is flipped in energy, confused and no longer confident in you or this connection. They don’t feel like your true match anymore - after this energy of being clearly shown how different you are, and it may be overdramatized vs. how you feel, but it’s Moon energy, they are unclear to how & why they feel like they do. But their intuition is firing off at them that maybe they should be questioning how committed you really are to this. Their confidence really takes a hit, I don’t know if you see that, you could be this Moon energy, unconscious to their feelings. It’s ick energy, this kind, everyone fearing or assuming the worst because they aren’t talking & addressing issues upfront.
Side story, your person is very committed to you and possibly being pressured by outside people to get married, and you’re not interested and don’t appreciate the extra pressure, you could be putting up a fight - literally. I’m not sure what you want this person to be, but it makes them start questioning everything, is this what’s right for them? They weren’t questioning anything before this, and their Queen of Wands - matching your King - flips into reverse after this. They will think you don’t want them, or want them long term, then they start assuming other motives and letting fear take over - Moon 🌙 . Most of this is not major arcana, could be a warning for some, or to help bring understanding to others.
Messages -
Their side:
- Soothing Presence 😌
- My friends are more important than you.
Your side:
- Short Hair
- Boujee 🤑
Oracles -
Their side: ENGAGEMENT RING 💍
- Higher Commitment
- Eternity
- Partnership & Union
- Completion
Your side: NOT TODAY 😤
- Boundaries & Hurt
- Avoiding Conversation
- Not Dealing
- Still Upset
Signs you may be dealing with:
Cancer, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Pisces, Virgo & Leo
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BNHA_WAXQUIRK_OC
[semi-coerent ramblings]
The Candle Wax Hero: Soybean(name under revision lmao)
Name: Hirose Kaoru(First name means fragrance)
Appearance:??
Parents:??
Quirk: Wax, can make wax constructs, like the wax-wax devil fruit. Is low-key about her powers, makes people think that she can make and most a shed or small house when she can totally make concrete-strong apartments out of wax. Keys, rapped fire sharp wax projecticles, wax armour, wax prison, etc. When she overuses her quirk her hair catches fire, she gets a fever, a headache, desidrated, and all around exhausted but unable to sleep.
Personality:??
Dream: To be an average gal pal hero, who absolutely does not know ANY weird shit at all, no sirr. (She wants to help people, but also wants to live happily, and boringly.)
-----000-----
-Has her own agency.
-Is not low-key, but not flashy either
-Very oblivious to people's admiration, but when she notices fells flattered and happy.
-doesn't check out other heroes or the rankings very often. Normally only watches the top 15, and *maybe* top50 heroes.
-When she is interviewed she goes on long ramblings about what she's doing to help the community, why it's important, why other heroes should do it, and how civilians can help. When confronted with any prejudice she completely derails the show, extolling about the difficulties of mutation-types, villainous quirks, weak quirks and the quirkless. The reporters that thought she was timid or just a pretty face are barreled over by her oblivious essay-reading talks, minimizing or completely eliminating the chance for gossip, publicity or drama. Because of it she becomes a meme and internet celebrity, as well as a small idol for the victimized and villainized people; also because she's completely hilarious, as well as posting her essays, articles, and funding online(only eventually noticing that they get money). Unfortunately she only goes there to use it as a public journal as well as an awareness platform.
-she absolutely does not notice when she gets to the top 200.
-She does not have a lot of official merc, but they're all practical and come for all body types and mutations, being all types of quirk-prof and coming quite cheap. It ends up being used as a cheap, durable, affordable clothing by all.
-She volunteers stuff, what most would do to public service punishment, chatting with people, discussing stuff, helping around the community. Playing with kids, volunteering in hospitals, picking up trash, cleaning trash heaps with her quirk(compresion), occasionally cleaning the streets and helping around in general, Making support beans and just helping around in general. Not being flashily like that.
-she influences others to do more too. To do more community service, to have their own honest vloggings and posts. To volunteer and help.
-she gets a minor rival(?) who tries to out-do her by doing all the community service, Kaoru instead thanks them, said she admires them and obliviously one-ups them by opening like, a school or something, idk
-Uses a mask? Maybe? Either that or she's always been recognized.
-helps out with underground stuff when she can
-Is publicly disappointed in both the commission and Endeavour.
-Publicly says she doesn't like all might, or rather, what he represents.
-loves boba tea.
-has a side job of selling candles. Bethey big and artistic, small and compact, they're all pretty.
-Secrets keep being dumped on her lap, she doesn't like this.
-She believes she's succeeding in being lowkey. She is ABSOLUTELY not.
-She does not attend the annual gala for top 200. Everybody is surprised. She's invited by the top interviewers, and ends up rambling about how she kinda wishes she could have gone and its moments like these that she wishes she were a top 200. Everybody kinda stalls at that. And realizes that she is, in fact, not kidding. They make her look it up online and her face is meme-worthy.
-interviewer: why didn't you go to the gala
Her: i'm not a top200, but i wish
Interviewer: you are, in fact, a top200
Her:???what?????
-Is invited to do presentations at school
-is publicly suspicious of the commission.
-post{ uh, does anybody think Hawks is an overworked baby or is it just me??? #givethismanahug #getsomesleephawks #mycomissionsensesaretingling #newfannammeforhawks:babybird}
-post{congratulations again to endeavour for completely analihating a villain that had three broken ribs, a concussion, malnutrition and was having a flashback due to accidental misuse of quirk after being assaulted by a hero using exercise force for stealing groceries! Great job, buddy! #flamingtrash}
-post{...i'm halfway tempted to sue UA for this shit. @LordExplosionmurder if you want some lawyer contacts just hit me up. #whyisthisbabychainedup??? #unnecessary #unjust}
-private text{ Soybean: Hey! It's pro hero Soybean, I'm wondering if you're okay after the shit you went through at the festival? If i can help in any way or if you just want to chat, hit me up!}
-post{actual serious essay about why ua action was bad after info gathering. Hoping they change ways and policies, and that this never happens again.}
-post{everyone that thinks those 1-A kids need therapy say aye! #omg #therapy #lookatallthesetraumatisedbabies Comments: Soybean: AYE! *fixed*}
-post{ i never feel as gay as i do as when i see Miruku destroy villain ass #powerfull #beautiful #shelooksatmeandillDIE}
-agency growns.
------0000------
Story outline{ imma be following cliche movie shit that i hate. Imma use the flashbacksies}
Chp1: •Dramatic inner monologue on a roof. Is a hero, achieved all she wanted in life, has her own agency. Hears a sound and goes to fight villain, she accesses the situation, form a climax/tension->
•flashback/past, The day she knew she would become a hero.
•(?)interceding flashes of past and present of her determination to be a hero(beat the villains ass ayyy, ends with a flash of the future(?)
Chp2: •Description of her day, painfully detailed, as boring as possible, end in cheerful note about how she loves how boring it is, and how for her its not boring at all. Description includes how her agency works, how it interacts with nearby agencies, what the status is for the neighbourhoods in general, how the crime rate is, compares it to other crime rates for other villains and hero's areas. Talk about her small number of employees and how she found them, briefly. Talk about where she sleeps, if its in an apartment, if it's in the office, where both are located and about the neighbours. Talk about the neighbours, about their clothes and their voices and how she feels about them, all in that satisfied this-is-normal-and-i-love-it kind of way. Talk about if she has a pet, about her apartment, touch briefly about something that reminds her of hero school, continue describing her apartment and the things there. Move on to what she's gonna eat, from where, what fast food and groceries, about how she thinks about food and who or if she shares her meals with. Have her have an idea for the community in general and head to bed.
•Flashback that surrounds the item that made her remember something. It needs to be something that makes her bittersweet. Like how her school was full of assholes, and that her teacher didn't like her because she was either too quiet or too loud, how she poked at too many sore spots and was bullied for it. Talk about a grand event similar to the sports festival at UA, and how a teacher -just tease, maybe don't even properly name- encouraged her to be better, and made her actually put up a fight, despite considering herself a coward at the time, and ended up getting 3rd place. Finish with her hurt, in pain but staring her bullies and the people who defeated her(maybe someone with something similar to pain quirk) down(also bullies?).
Chp3: •Describe in painful detail about her day to day school life. Her first year or second. Describe the building, if its dorm system or home-to-school system, describe what she sees on her way there, and the people she talks to. Talk about her bullies and the victims, and the people who watch, talk about the other classes and someone she admires at school, who she wishes she would talk to if she only had the courage. Talk about the teachers, how they interact, talk about her favorite teacher and how he helps her so much and how he takes care of her.
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lol i gotta ask, why do you hate the romance md mc? i haven’t played the game (i hate love choice) she popped up in ayumu pov and err she seemed a litte eccentric ? lol ppl seem to love her from what ive seen so i would a different perspective on her character.
haha okay so i touched on this a bit in my reviews of takado and hosho but let me try to summarise:
basically, i love mcs i can relate to but also find inspiring? like i like mcs who i can see parts of myself in, enough that i look at them and think “if i try really hard to be a good person, i can be like them”. that’s why even with the masukisu mc, i like her well enough, but i like her the most when she fails and makes mistakes bc perfect characters are so boring.
anyway with otoge, i know a lot of people are like waaa mcs are too emotional and weak and insecure about everything but (and maybe it’s just because i’m Peak Insecure) i love that? i like it when they’re emotionally vulnerable and feel things and get hurt cause it helps me (1) be able to relate based on my own relationship/love/hurt/failure at work experience and (2) feel more invested in their character and relationship and development bc it’s clear through their emotional responses that they’re falling in love (or overcoming a problem in their relationship or at work/school/etc.). and if you’re like me and read with a semi self-insert intention, then it’s easier for me to fall in love with not just the LI/MC as a couple but also the actual thought of being in mutual love with the love interest.
so for me the problem with the rmd mc is that she is all surface sass with no emotional substance. i found it very incongruous that she’s supposed to be all meta and love this one (v generic) otome game character but have no interest in real men, because ALL OF RMD’S CHARACTERS ARE VERY CLEARLY OTOME GAME CHARACTER ARCHETYPES. her dialogue with them often reads as like they put 100 points in “snark” and 0 points in any other personality trait. she’s really full of herself (she’s literally in a university/training hospital and somehow thinks she knows better than these elite specialists just bc she’s read a lot of journals??). she’s eccentric in a way that i don’t find particularly cute bc it comes off more as arrogant than passionate to me (maybe bc the writing style for her dialogue is so clinical?)
with someone like hlitf mc, she is righteous to a fault and often will try to like butt in where she’s not needed and be like “noooo i can’t compromise my MoRaLs” but she also has respect for her instructors and is humble enough to know that she does need to listen to their advice, and we often see her fail when she just does it her way without taking their expertise into consideration. because of this, we get to see her self-doubt from the beginning develop into confidence and applicable skill as a working detective. we also get to see snippets where she has to compromise on those morals and overcome adversity to do her job. so we actually get to see her realise her own flaws and learn and grow from them.
however, with rmd mc, we basically never see her have to face any adversity and thus we don’t get to see her develop. she hardly has any inner weaknesses to develop or overcome because she has no personality substance beneath that sassy and nerdy exterior. that’s why she’s only ever interesting when she has the entire crew of doctors in that room off which to bounce dialogue but is so bland when it comes to actual relationship development. her inner monologue as she’s supposed to be falling in love is so insincere because she is written in a way that is very... unemotional? so she goes from “i don’t care about men i only care about READING” to like “what????? i love him????/” and like if your own first person perspective character doesn’t know or believe she’s in love, then how am i as a reader supposed to suddenly believe it. that’s why i find rmd quite disappointing overall because the LIs actually have good backstories and it would be rewarding to see them gradually open up and fall in love but unfortunately that story is wasted on someone who in my opinion doesn’t allow us to see the full emotional potential of that development.
for example, there are elements of hosho’s route and rei kamiki’s route (from irresistible mistakes) that i find very comparable, in that hosho and dr mc end up cuddling to sleep a lot and rei and the im mc end up basically sharing a bed to sleep together as well iirc? in both cases, we are confronted with having to deal with growing one-sided feelings in a relationship where there is physical closeness but it’s only platonic. and yet somehow, even tho hosho’s back story is way more traumatic than rei’s, the emotional ride of falling in love, having that conflict and then ending up together is so much more convincing and rewarding in rei’s route because of his mc (i.e. the perspective that we read in the MS).
also tbh i think i just like softness? i think it’s really clear by my posts that my favourite moments are when LIs who are normally more stoic/mean are all soft and gooey for the person they love. but rmd mc has no softness under her prickliness lmao. anyway i said i would summarise but i ended up ranting again so my apologies if you like this mc but i personally think the only time she reads as interesting is if you literally only see like 5 slide screenshot posts on tumblr bc you can enjoy her being sassy without having to suffer through her lack of emotional substance
EDIT: i do wanna disclaim that in some more recent hlitf stories/chapters (although can’t remember which ones gave me this impression off the top of my head), i have seen dialogue that sometimes gives me rmd mc vibes. i’m not sure if it’s the same translator/translation team or this is just a trend that voltage is heading towards, but i do remember getting that feeling a couple times and then getting a bit anxious lmao that one of my favourite genuine mcs might be getting corrupted. i haven’t yet been able to pinpoint what exactly it is, but i think it’s that the tone can sometimes come across as blasé or is expressed in a more meme-y turn of phrase where i feel it should be more genuine/sincere? but either way, the writing in hlitf is amazing and we’ve already been given so much wonderful development so i’m not overly worried
EDIT 2: i also wanna add that i know a lot of people like her nerdiness and sassiness i respect that but let’s not pretend that she’s the first nerdy or sassy voltage mc ever lol. hlitf mc forces ayumu to watch freaking era of samurai code of love and nerds out over old school detective dramas (amongst many other things... mizuki fujisaki.....). im mc is a workaholic and a cat lady who could literally talk for 5 hours about tachibana’s ads. bmp mc is CONSTANTLY sassing all of them, esp prince keith lol. mlfk mc is such a dork. scm mc knows every single Greek myth about the stars. msb mc is a theatre nerd. eitm mc does not ever let miyabi or kyoga get away with their shit. however, they are all still VERY CUTE MCs.
anyway i could keep going on and on but all i’m saying is that in so many voltage games, the mc is CLEARLY the only one with a braincell out of the entire cohort of men and the fact that she is the only person with common sense (while also having her own hobbies and interests) while all these men around her are ridiculous is a great selling point so personally i don’t think voltage needed to overcompensate the way they did and delete her emotional capacity function.
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Any new “Doctor John” type stories, O Great One?
Hi Nonny!
I certainly do! :D Here you are!
DOCTOR / CARETAKER JOHN Pt. 3
See Also:
Doctor / Caretaker John
Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 2
New World, Old Words by thedeafwriter (G, 641 w., 1 Ch. || Deaf Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Always John) – It was disconcerting to experience. One second, he was laying on the table, breathing in the gas that would make him sleep, the next, he was dragging his eyes open to look around the bright room, trying to wake up.
Promise of Sussex by LittleLongHairedOutlaw (T, 705 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Angst, Pining, Ambiguous Ending) – John tries to keep Sherlock conscious after he’s been shot on a case.
Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Alternate TGG / Explosion, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?
Angel by MrsNoggin (T, 1,513 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock, Friendship, Chromoesthesia, Drugging) – John is an angel. That can be the only explanation. A response to the challenging request for a realistic wingfic one-shot.
They’re Taking My Wisdom by whitchry9 (K+, 1,939 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Drugging, Dentists, Friendship, Anxious Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock goes to the dentist. Of course, being Sherlock, things have to be complicated. Oh and drugs. They’re always fun.
Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w., 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) – “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.
The Rational Machine by Solstice Zero (K, 2,924 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Malnourishment / Fainting, Doctor / Minder John) – Sherlock passes out. John muses on the reasons why. Containing an absorbing case, two bags of shopping, and a few apples.
Better Late Than Never by sussexbound (NR (T), 3,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4 / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock POV, Love Confessions, Drunk Sherlock / Sober John, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil) – He suddenly wants John Watson out of his bedroom, out of his flat, out of his life, because he has been lying to himself these last few months, he realises. He doesn’t want John here, not with the way things are. He doesn’t want 221b Baker Street to be nothing more than rest stop John returns to on his journeys between women. He doesn’t want to play co-parent if Rosie is going to be snatched away from him and placed in the arms of whatever nameless woman du jour John lands on next. He doesn’t want to keep being so careful, so generous, so, so…
The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.
Experiment by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w., 3 Ch. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}
Welcome Home, John by slashscribe (G, 5,504 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Awkwardness, Stabbed Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Panic Attack (Sherlock), Self Esteem Issues, Love Confessions, First Kiss) – When John moves back to 221B, he thinks he’s the broken one, but after a while, it becomes clear that he might not be correct.
He’s Not Paid Enough to Deal with This Shit by janonny (T, 9,828 w., 1 Ch. || Personal Assistant AU || Humour, First Meetings, Snarky John) – One of the first things John did was to write up step-by-step instructions on how to conduct a proper job interview before handing it over to Mycroft for his perusal. There were no kidnapping, deserted car parks or stolen therapy notes anywhere on that list. (Or the one where John returned from the war and ended up working for Mycroft as his personal assistant slash doctor on retainer. Everything was fine, until he was sent to post bail for one Sherlock Holmes.)
And Here We Are by J_Baillier (T, 12,416 w., 2 Ch. || ASiP Fic, Alternating First Person POV, Drama, Friendship, Mild Case Fic, Autism Spectrum Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Protective John, Pining, Homophobia, Loneliness, Angst, Humour, Domestics, Morbid Fluff, Kidnapping) – All the little things we never got to see when an army doctor and a consulting detective were adjusting to sharing a flat. And a life.
Shuteye Shenanigans by Ayakae (K+, 13,263 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Epic Bromance, John’s Nightmares, Angsty Fluff, Bed Sharing, Humour, Cuddles, Taking Care of Each Other, Domestics) – John Watson has never slept with Sherlock Holmes. Never ever ever. And never will, thank you very much. Well, there was that one time, but John didn’t count that. It was completely different, just like the second time it happened. And the third. And the fourth. Epic bromance, but it can be read as pre-slash if you wish.
First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w., 8 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.
Pattern Behaviour by SilentAuror (E, 14,835 w., 1 Ch. || POV First Person Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Stroppy Sherlock, Light Humour, Friendship, John Takes Care of Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Wall Kisses, Fluffy Angst, Happy Ending) – Sherlock doesn’t even know why he resents John’s dates so much. Until the day he does know. Slight angst, unrequited feelings (but don’t let that scare you off!)
Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (E, 16,679 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Android Sherlock, Love Story, Unhappy Ending, Angst, Suicide, Jealousy) – “You think I can’t love you? Just because you’re made with metal, and detailed programming?” The doctor propped himself on his elbow, and looked down at it. “I am nothing but blood and bone, and tissue. Things just managed get mashed together in a manner that made me like this. Just like you were put together to make you how you are. When I kiss you-” he did so, briefly, to prove his point. Then more deeply, and lingering, because he could. “When I touch you, or smile at you, does it make you feel different from when others have done it in the past?”
Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn’t walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?
A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because…new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride… prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series
The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.
Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he’s a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover’s trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world’s highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?
The Wedding Garments by cwb (E, 105,390 w., 36 Ch. || Alternate Future AU || Alternate First Meeting, Dating / Arranged Marriages, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Petting, Cuddles, POV Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn / Falling in Love / Dev. Rel., Nervous/Anxious Sherlock, Jealous/Cranky, Hiking, Vacation Homes / Honeymoon, Sherlock’s Family, Horny John/Sherlock, Patient John, Massages, Hand Jobs, Assassination Plots, Hand Jobs / Oral Sex, Case Fic, Emotional Love Making, Bath Time Fun) – This is the story of a young consulting detective who wants nothing to do with marriage and an army doctor who wants to find true love. It’s 2020 post-Brexit England and the British government is encouraging arranged marriages. Candidates meet through state-run agencies and date in hopes of finding love (and tax benefits). Sherlock doesn’t need or want a spouse, at least not until John Watson shows up. Hesitant to give in to his more carnal urges because of the way they derail his mind, how will Sherlock progress toward the more intimate aspects of a relationship? The answer lies in a very special wedding gift.
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again but better thoughts while reading
@polandbananas20
so my spelling is terrible in this but you know i was more focused on the book than how to spell.
Chapter 1) good intro and good starting tone. The lady next to her sucks. Good small establishment of shane.
chapter2)shane characterisation is still consistent. I like her two new roommates (will be best friends) . My guess is the boy in the kitchen will be pilot. Family means but not intentional. Has no confidence. I was right about the boy
Chapter 3) intro of pilot properly. He's good. I love the inner monologue of shane. Trying to keep eye contact, the surprise of having a normal conversation. It sets her character well. Intro to her blog which i would love to actually read (i hope there's at least one entry we can read) pilot is a musician but not. Business major. What crap.
Chapter 4) i really feel like shane, she is just typical fangirl/ dork and i love it. Its weird being english and reading about the things that shock them like pasta in bags.i understand the watermelon.we do get to read ‘shanes writing’ but its her personal jornal not her blog.
Chapter 5) fun chapter. Intro to rome. Love the idea that shane is heavy handed and violent. Short, not alot happened other than small character establishment.
Chapter 6)intro to creative writing class which i want/need in my life.more beatles. Woman on plane works at starbucks, will she make more appearances?
Chapter 7) the drama???or at least wht will be the drama. Pilot has a gf, called amy (wish it was me) (wait no, bc i know that plot doesnt actually like amy anymore bc he obviously likes shane. So i take it back. I want to be shane, i mean i basically am like her but oh well.)
Chapter 8) parents. Overprotective, think they know best. Urgh. guarantee one of shanes new friends fight back to her parents to support her life choices, that do not include doctor.
Chapter 9)gets an internship at travel mag company. Thats it…..
Chapter 10)rome. Looses purse. Pilot to the anxiety riddled rescue by telling his own life story about his wallet to help calm her nerves.distracts her. Basially he would do anything for shane already.re count of rome trip from her jornal again which is a good touch to further the plot. This is making me want to read dan brown (ish) all of two books i own of him
Chapter 11) the postcards are a nice touch that i hope someone reads???? Travel buddies..just saying.chad..hmmm,im like shane,well see if he is good enough for babe. Her GODDAM stupdi mean cousins being mean on her facebook, and babe seeing (best friend moment) about pilot and the whole teasing about having a boyfriend.
Chapter 12) he didnt see (but i think he did but istn sayin anything) paris i shappening. Babe is bff confirmed and i want her as my friend
Chapter 13)angry birds addiction starts. Level three, weak, shoulder touching it romance confirmed.awwww pilot 100% waited to sleep so he could see shane safe in bed
Chapter 14) pilot with a french accent, enough said. The flirtinggggg. The plane woman is back??in paris with them????
Chapter 15)pilots choices of the back in time thing are both wit shane. Its so obvious and i love it. Pilot as a fake fangirl about the eiffel tower. More flirting,kind of. Oh god chad no.he did it. Goddammit.nooo he wull run babe and shanes friendship and maybe her and pilot. ‘Assbucket’ indeed. Her an pilot are fine and i really believe her and babe will be because when she nearly gets robbed babe giver her a sympathetic smile. Not much to go on but i have hope.
Chapter 16)okay so, fav chapter, she finally spills her guts that she has anxiety basically, that she is premed with strict parents and this is scary whilst pilots lies in bed with her to relax her bc he heard her crying. He only ecoureges her slightly before going back to his bed and sleeping. My heart, i swear, soon the roles reverse and pilot will say why he is in london and all that.
Chapter 17)babe and shane bffs confired. Chad is the worst confirmed. Of course it wasnt break up call. Of course she wants to vist. Of course pilot is to cowardly to break up and just accepts them going to paris together. Of freaking course.
Chapter 18) do not get over pilot, it wont work. Rugby guy nooooo!im team pilot how dare you kiss shane! Wow, city of glass mention. I want to make a list of every bookmentioned.
Chapter 19) pilot is not himself (obviouls) shane is worried. She is still lying to her parents an feeling bad about. Rugby guy is thankfully a no go. Pilot finds out about the kiss and guy and is clearly silently jealous.
Chapter 20)aww shane! Im sorry pilot sucks currently. And a stupid guys trip with flat four. No. and devil chairs.
Chapter 21)1)love the book talk. The loneliness is kicking in, pilot man up for gods sake
Chapter 22)this red-head plain weirdo is back and going through her list like some sort of mentore. Omg!!! No. amy is here, i dont hatte her but can she not. Also, her dad…. No! (this is the stand up moment i was on about, i hope)
Chapter 23) i do not like her dad. At all. Nooo shane...no. they found out. And acted like assholes.
Chapter 24) n1!ahhhh no! Amy has her notebook. The end is nigh.im going to cry i feel like shane.
Chapter 25) the family dinner-family outing. Niether of them manuped and shane is depressed
Chapter 26)back in america. Still hasn’t told pilot but you know it is a slow burn
Chapter 27) I, wait? Marry, some guy? Like no. I know it’s been what six years but no. I refuse.i don’t like this so called Melvin. It’s okay she doesn’t want to marry him. She goes to see pilot and finally mans up and tells him and asks if she made it and and pilot finally man’s up and tells her no she didn’t. They get stuck in an elevator
Chapter 28) the elevators doing something. Shane wants to re do London cuz she hates life
Chapter 1?) they are both back in London? Both having the same what ever is happening?
Chapter 2) omg. Plane lady took them back to staRt over and pilots mad about it (obv)
Chapter 3)so… they got mad but started over and I’m excited. 100%they won’t press the restart button. I’m calling it now. Cuz pilot knows he now has a chance to do the what if’s/
Chapter 4) they keep there distance but we all know it won’t last
Chapter 5) tipsy Shane? Shawarma
Chapter 6) babe thinksthere is something going on with them( again)
Chapter7)the story about fake pilot, and the kiss. Ahhhhhhg
Chapter 8)they found the button. Shane doesn’t want to go back. I do t want them to go back. They don’t go back thank god
Chapter 9) da Vinci code flirting somehow.. Shane tells him it won’t happen u less he breaks up with last Amy.
Chapter 10) he will break up with Amy and laris is gonna happen.
Chapter 11) so Shane is happy again, pilot broke up with amy. Shane tried to make peace with the devil chair.
Chapter 11) they are so adorable. Aswwwwewhwhehruysnwjw
Chapter 12) Uwuwnfhueia we get more Shane and pilot flirting,
Chapter 13) the opposite game is adorable. I like that they get to be themselves together without the awkwardness. The start of the move game. Thats my fav.
Chapter 14) they still have the angry birds obssesion but unlike me and supercard they know when to stop.the dance ‘move’ ahh i love. The line ‘but you do.’ just shows how much they know each other and how pilot would do anything to make her smile. And the lost move (not really a move but totally a move.) once again proves their love. Also we had that plot moment where he talks about why h chose to go to london. I adore shanes rant (?) about the things she loves. And then pilot doing the same thing. Shane vs chair is my life, like i battle chairs too.
Chapter 15) what is tfios? Ooohhh. Fault in our stars. (i googled it)i probably shouldve known by the whole always part. The dance move came back to bite pilot in the ass and now they are dancing together. Ew chad. Yes shane! That is what chad deserves.
Chapter 16) they get intimate and gigly and happy and aaaawwwhww
Chapter 17) im glad shane still rememebers to be friends with babe and not forget her in her lovestick state currently.
Chapter 18) her postcard….the questions that haunt her so much. Sort of accepting them herself too. She finally got to do wrecking ball, they miss internship , oh no…. Start if a downall??
Chapter 19) shane and pilot have fallen HARD
Chapter 20) the article is off the table. Amy is there. What the hell. No. omg pilot no, you moron. THEY BROKE UP!!! Which is fair, a break is needed. They both get back on track and then try and find a balance. Hopefully. Oh her laptop….shit...the feels when all your work is just gone. Tries to reset bc she is so depressed bc she thinks she failed again.
Chapter 21) she cant go back (thankfully) a bookstore is always a good haven to go to when your breaking down.
Chapter 22)the redemtion (?) time to try and fix everything and get back on track.the determination and the readiness to try and make everything better for herswelf, herself, and no one else is good. She makes friends with the people in her office and works harder than befire, try to get herself out of her comfort zone and experience things
Chapter 23) the confrontation with her parents. Oh god. I hope this goes well. Its going as well as it can go. Im happy shane is sticking up for her dream so she can be happy, uugh the whole dad speech of ‘i do everything for you, i know best because im older,’ i hate it. Ooohh she is making up with leo, talking ot him this time. Im happy. Leo is gay. Cool. i hate how he got broken up with becuase of his stupid family, it sucks. ‘There is no normal.’ perfect words.
Chapter 24) her thing is in the thing!!!( also good job me with words.) her article got published (there we go)this is where she learns she can be with pilot and be successful because tracy is with a famous author and they make it work with harder schedules. Trys to talk to her parents. This time she will make there relationship work.
Chapter 25)urgh ‘you live under my roof,on my dime…’ blah blah blah. We hate controlling parents that dont see that overprotecting and controlling their childs life does more damage than good. Babe suggest self discovery trip. Babe is a grat friends.
Chapter 26)the button thing will work…’im mad at pilot. Or am i mad at me.’ she cracked the code. She loathed herself because of her fear of failing, but because this time she worked on herself to make herself happy she no longer hates herself. Yet she still feels the same (ish) feeling that even though she worked harder and got further that she has no summer job when she gets back to the states, her parents still wont allow her choice of work.PILOTS BACK!!!!!!! She was about to press the button and he swooped in with his music.
Chapter 27) he still follows her blog and got help from babe. His speech, finished with lamppost. Where can i get a pilot?he uploaded their song. Working through the divorce thing again but it will be better because he has shane to talk to about it. Ahhh she got a job!!! Happy ending!!! My heart!!!eeeee…
epilogoue) she becomes a successful author. Her parents have accepted her and support her. Pilots a musician. He takes her to the weird plane lady and they gobe the locket back, then he makes the ultimate move. With pictures of where they fell in love he uses the beatles russain doll things to hide a ring and when she finds it she obviously says yes. And that its unfair cuz she cant top that move.
sooo...thats it.
i really enjoyed this book. i cannot wait for her next book. this post is longwinded i apologize but oh well? again i will link my website and review as soon as its done. so far in about five hours all i have is a paragraph so it may not be as soon as i want it to be
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I pride myself on creating interesting titles for my articles and blogs. Who could ignore, “Does This Script Make Me Look Fat?“, “S-e-x Tips For Screenwriters,” or “Are You Writing With Beer Goggles On?”
The title is essentially the logline of the column, and I want mine to intrigue you into reading more.
My choice this month is as deliberately colorless as I could muster to make a point. I’ve been reading a lot of dry, dull, and flat dialogue of late.
This is a cautionary tale on how “not good” dialogue can
drag
your
entire
script
down.
Even when you have an exciting and compelling concept and a solid story.
No matter what the genre, bad dialogue flattens the story by undermining the tone. Visceral moments built around dull dialogue, whether they are shocking scares, heart-racing action sequences, thigh-slapping comic moments, or tear-inducing dramas, are akin to a slammed oven door on a rising soufflé. Deflated and disappointing.
Dialogue: Art or Craft?
Before I began this article, I had to think about whether dialogue is a screenwriting skill that can be taught, practiced, and mastered, or whether it is an art. I’ve been fortunate to work with some truly talented writers who had “an ear for dialogue.”
My ultimate decision is that while you can get better at it, like a craft, for the top writers of dialogue – although they work hard at making it outstanding – it is an art. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t learn something from them and use it to grow.
Writers known for their dialogue actively listen. They pay attention to voices, they eavesdrop, they recall patterns, phrases, distinctions, inflections. But great dialogue is not transcribing. It is learning about howpeople talk in the real world and then distilling it into something better that reflects real life rather than imitates it. We’re telling stories, not making documentaries.
Great writers take the everyday and elevate it. Because, in fact, how we talk in “real life” can be wordy, meandering, and damn boring. In a script we are looking for powerful and succinct expression of thoughts and feelings.
Writers known for great dialogue write in voices that they know. Voices that they can hear in their heads, whether it is “smart,” or “Southern,” or “smarmy.” I have had more than one marvelous writer of dialogue tell me that they get to the point where the characters are speaking to them in their heads. Congratulations, you are probably in the only profession where “hearing voices” doesn’t guarantee you will get carted away to the crazy house.
Writers known for great dialogue understand that dialogue must serve a purpose. It must advance the story, reveal character, support the tone, and compliment the pace of the scene.
Writers known for great dialogue know that less is more. Great dialogue is often characterized as “lean.” They avoid lengthy talky scenes, long, uninterrupted monologues, and they leave space for subtext – that which goes unspoken can have the greatest impact.
Writers known for great dialogue know that it has to woo the reader on the page and sound authentic when spoken. Read your work aloud. Have it read. Tape it and play it back. If it “sounds like dialogue,” start rewriting.
Writers known for great dialogue still agonize over every word. Because they want the characters’ intentions to shine through, their personalities to come across, and the nuances of their inflections to be clear to the reader.
In the industry, writers known for great dialogue often come from theatre. Yes, I’m talking about Aaron Sorkin, Alan Ball, and many others. Because on a page of a play there is almost no description. What is there is minimalist. Playwrights learn to tell their entire stories and reveal their characters through dialogue. They are forced to get darn good at it. Might be a good exercise to practice by writing a scene or a short piece that is almost 100% dialogue.
On the other hand, the more I’ve thought about dialogue, the clearer it is to me that dialogue is inextricably interwoven with description. I found that you simply can not talk about one without referencing the other. As you master how to write a screenplay, it becomes clear that the interaction between dialogue and description is like a carefully choreographed dance. A tango that would not be complete without both partners, moving seamlessly together, supporting and elevating each other. That’s where you make the leap from craft to art.
Killer Dialogue
In striving to write dialogue that enlivens your story rather than killing it dead, these are the top crimes to avoid:
Expositional Dialogue: Dialogue that struggles to convey fundamental information to the audience can be deadly dull. In decades past, we might have seen newspaper headlines on the screen. Now we’re often subjected to lengthy (and incredibly conveniently timed) TV news broadcasts that spells out the facts and background. This may be efficient, but it feels like a cheap writing short cut and is inherently dry.
Voice over narration can be useful, but only if there is no other way to show us rather than tell us. This device is best used sparingly and artfully, as an integrated element of the story that reflects the tone.
There should be a rhyme and reason to narration in a script. It should be consistent with the story. Its usage might be heavier in Act One to establish the narrator and their point of view. Sparingly in the second half of Act Two, as the pace and stakes increase. Then wrap up and underscore the theme, provide resolution and add resonance in Act Three.
A large clump of narration in one juncture of the story stands out. It slows the pace and can feel like a crutch for conveying information. The best exposition comes from many sources. Showing is more powerful that telling. We can glean information from vividly described settings. We can see character’s appearance, behavior, actions, body language, and expression in description.
Lean dialogue supports other expositional tools, and description can add subtext that speaks volumes.
OTN Dialogue: Industry shorthand for “on the nose” is far from complimentary. This is dialogue that is literal in conveying what the characters think and feel. I am scared. I am happy. I am hungry. It is stiff and unnatural. Characters who speak in simple declaratory sentences reflect what the writer wants us to know. More skillful dialogue comes from the character and is supported by description.
Doubling Up Dialogue: Dialogue that repeats what we have just learned in description is redundant. Don’t tell us what we already know. It drags down your script and slows the pace of a scene. Be confident that we’ll get it.
Description: Jack acts nervous, worrying about the plans for the big heist. Jack dialogue: “I am very nervous that you are not going to be able to pull this heist off.”
Versus:
Description: Jack paces restlessly, taking a few steps in one direction, then reversing. Jack dialogue: “Tell me you have your shit together.”
The second version is shorter, more visual and more visceral.
Showboat Dialogue: Few things rankle readers more than recherché or Delphic dialogue. While you and I may have an SAT-worthy vocabulary, imagine the frustration of being unable to comprehend a sentence. Or maybe you don’t have to imagine if you were unaware that recherché means rare or exotic and Delphic is deliberately obscure or ambiguous.
The purpose of dialogue – and I see this blunder in description too – is not to show us that you are smart. It is to communicate clearly. I shouldn’t need a dictionary just to grasp a sentence. And if your reader does, then you are throwing off the reading experience, putting a stumbling block in their path when your aim should be for the words to flow in smooth, comprehensible sentences. Your script should communicate clearly to any and all readers.
Dialogue and description that includes obscure literary or musical references may have meaning to you, but unless it is recognizable to your reader, it’s a fail.
Yes, if your character is a brainiac, they might have a great vocabulary. But baffling your reader, even in a story about rocket scientists, should be rare and serve a purpose. Unless it is reflecting a specific character trait, strive for clarity.
The Worst Dialogue Sin: Thou Shalt Not Write Dialogue That Fails To Reflect The Tone. The quickest path to dialogue that makes a script dead on arrival is a failure to reflect the tone – not merely the genre – tone is far more specific. Family comedy, broad comedy, raunchy comedy, dark comedy, and dramedy are just some of the many tonal variations in the catch-all genre of “comedy.”
While your comedy doesn’t require a joke in every sentence, keep your dialogue in line with the tone of the story and of the scene. We think of action dialogue as terse, while character-driven stories are expected to have more dialogue that reflects and reveals character and arc.
Dialogue should also match the pacing of the story and the scene. As conflict escalates, especially in the second half of your script, dialogue should also be tight and brisk to match the pace.
Another cause of flat dialogue is the “repressed” hero. I’ve found that main characters whose core issue involves suppressing their feelings, leads to dryer, clipped dialogue. Fair enough as a character trait, but this often infects the entire script, keeping everything from falling short of being visceral. And in truth, the repressed character should be simmering beneath the surface, with inner conflicts conveyed in description and supported by subtext.
Think of the voice of the story – its unique tone – coming through in every sentence – from description to dialogue.
Praiseworthy Dialogue
How do industry pros describe great dialogue?
Lean, fluent, distinctive to characters, authentic sounding, and enhancing the tone…
All forms of high praise for dialogue.
Here are some ways to earn those accolades:
In N’ Out Dialogue: Sharply written scenes get in late and get out early. No wasted time on greetings and exits. In N’ Out hones in the on the purpose of the scene. Effective scenes both advance the story and reveal character arc.
Jack, John, Jake and Joey Walk Into A Bar: I know that some people go crazy when I imply that professional readers don’t read every single word of your script – but it’s because we shouldn’t have to. We should be able to stop reading character’s names after Act One because their voices are distinctive. It’s more challenging in an ensemble where the characters are highly homogenous, but that makes it all the more important. And a visual difference in the characters’ names makes it even easier for our brains to process, which makes your script flow.
Totes Dated Dude: Strong dialogue reflects the time period and is age appropriate.
Writing for teens can be tough, but the best dialogue avoids the clichés. By the time we read them, they’re already dated. Think of Clueless, written and directed by Amy Heckerling, who was lauded for her teen dialogue. What made it so impressive and appealing was that it was invented, a reflection of teen talk and a step ahead, rather than copying current trends. What is on fleek today is totes dated tomorrow.
On the flip side, period dialogue that is sprinkled with contemporary phrases shows a lack of research and an inattention to detail.
A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words: I read a wonderful article recently (which I would link to here if I could find it!) that showed a page long scene between an arguing man and woman, and then cut the dialogue in half, and in half again, and finally down to just a couple of lines. The more they cut, the more dynamic the scene became. Less words meant more room for subtext conveyed in description. It upped the emotion of the scene with what we saw the characters do rather than what they said. With each cut, the scene became more intense emotionally.
The real power in dialogue is often is what goes unsaid. Less truly is more. And action does speak louder than words. Subtext – conveyed by a character’s expression, gesture, or glance – intensifies the spoken word and underscores the meaning of the moment.
Button Up: Effective scenes have a clear high point and then cut to the next scene. Time and again, writers give us the line with the most impact, whether it’s a comedic punch line, peak conflict, or a big reveal, yet diminish the resonance off the moment by adding a few more lines after. Know the scene’s button and cut out on that for maximum effect.
The Last Word On Dialogue
Great dialogue has a rhythm and flow that becomes the heartbeat of the story. It mirrors the structure of the script. Initially setting the tone, revealing character, and conveying exposition, it goes on to accelerate as the conflicts escalate. It supports the scene in tone and pace. It becomes a vibrant element of the story, working in harmony with description to elevate the entire script.
More articles by Barri Evins
Dialogue Freedom: Getting Away with Writing Lengthy Dialogue
Script Gods Must Die: Writing Dialogue – The Cut Instinct
Script Expert Q&A: Meet Barri Evins of ‘Breaking & Entering’
Download tips on writing stellar dialogue with Karl Iglesias’ on-demand webinar
Master Aaron Sorkin’s Dialogue & Scene Techniques
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hunting something
i know it doesn't help by soaking in the feelings that I have.
another part of me feels as though i'm in a drama class I didn't sign up for.
like I'm acting this way so I don't have to be average.
I feel sad. I think I've been walking around it and trying to describe it all week but I am just plain sad.
for what? I don't know.
well, I do know. It's just how i talk to myself. It's how I act towards myself that makes me sad.
I am not nice to myself. it's something I disguise as jokes and is just an inner monologue I have that keeps me feeling like I'm not good enough.
I am always telling myself that I'm not going anywhere and that I am a boring person. Who wants to be around a boring person.
and I'm just constantly telling myself I am a work in progress.
that I have all this work I need to do on myself in order to be a functional adult in society.
I don't like it. Mainly because It really hits me when I'm not focused on anything.
It feels like I have this black hole in my chest and I can close in off at work, and when I'm with my sister.
but when I'm alone it becomes unavoidable.
Something I have to feel.
I wish I could tell someone, but when I say something even related to the topic I just feel silly. Like I've been overreacting and the shit that goes on in my head is just in my head.
A part of me just feels as though i'm just pretending to be sad so I don't have to admit I am a boring person and I do actually have nothing going for me.
it's a very suffocating cycle. Something I would like to snap out of. and I honestly just wonder everyday if it's normal to feel this way. Like inside I am crying but on the outside I'm fine. is that adulthood?
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OH MY, WHAT’S THIS?
TW: mental health, therapy
Golly gosh, has she really gone and made yet another god damn blog? Yes. Yes she has.
Let me explain myself. I know this is probably like what, my tenth or eleventh online blog that I’ve made now? You would think that I would have a huge and dedicated reader base by the rate and ferocity I create these blogs with, but well, since I forget about every .tumblr.com and .wordpress.com after about a month or two, it comes to no surprise that these unattended digital corpse-pages don’t really have many readers. Should maybe give them a proper burial by hitting that delete button and letting them move on to the afterlife of 1′s and 0′s. But since I don’t even remember half the URLs I came up with, they’re probably just gonna keep peacefully existing in the graveyard that is the the forgotten blog section of the internet.
So. Why another one? Why add onto the pile of aesthetic yet virtually empty “personal” websites?
I’m just going to tell you what my therapist told me: “It seems like you have so many thoughts in your head, it probably feels like exploding.”
Don’t worry, I’m not saying that I’m Miss Big Juicy Brain and too smart for my own good – that’s not what my lovely therapist meant either. The reason she said that to me was because in our latest session, she had asked me to give her a quick rundown of what goes through my head whenever anything emotionally triggering happens to me. I had then proceeded to talk for twenty whole minutes (there go twenty whole bucks, thanks a lot, non-existing public mental healthcare system) about what happened in my old noggin whenever ~A Feeling~ occurred. And I described it in such excruciating detail that I think she stopped taking notes halfway through and just zoned out. Can’t blame ya, Kerstin, twenty minutes of incohesive rambling doesn’t really meet the expectation of a “quick rundown”. Sorry for that.
Anyway, we then proceeded to talk about overthinking, as we have done a million times before. And, as we have also done a million times before, we came to the conclusion that my inner monologue resembles a thirty-meter death-ride water slide, when it comes to the velocity and severity of how fast and far I tend to spiral with my own thoughts.
Now, don’t worry, by now I’ve been in therapy for long enough to know how to safely land back on the floor. However, I did agree with my therapist that my intense introspection does sometimes compromise me in my day to day life, as I will spend days on end in my own head rather than in the world that lies outside of it. That then usually leads to self-isolation and that, in return, leads to even more introspection. Hooray, to unhealthy processing mechanisms!
Alright, enough self-deprication. Basically, the conclusion I came to in that session, was that I’m pretty much the exact opposite of the “no thoughts, head empty” meme. For me, it’s more like “all thoughts, head explode”. And while I’ve been trying to get better at sharing face-to-face what’s going on in my head, I don’t always have the energy to text, call or meet friends and make my brain form words that my mouth then says out loud (which, I realize, is also known as talking).
I have made progress in that direction but ironically, these thought spirals tend to be the exact reason why I sometimes get into the bad mindset of thinking “Ugh, why even bother sharing? It’s already exhausting enough to just think it. Talking and explaining will be even harder.” And I know that that is not entirely true but listen, change comes in waves and you can’t battle all your inner demons at once. It is important to choose your battles accordingly to your strengths.
So, that is what I’m doing. I am choosing a battle by making a compromise. And making a blog.
God, how awfully millenial of me. What’s next? A TikTok account where I ironically document my panic attacks over the sounds of Jason Deulos’ ‘Savage Love’? (Hold on, just gonna note that idea down for later...)
Seriously, I realize that this has a certain bobo-esque, self-absorbed cringe vibe to it (did I really just say vibe, this is worse than I thought). However, I also care for and know myself well enough that I tend to downplay and ridicule the fact that I really do have a massive stick up my ass when it comes to talking about my emotions, my traumas and all those pesky, invasive thoughts. And that’s why Kerstin and me came up with the idea of me simply making a blog where I can dump all my thoughts whenever it feels like they are getting too much.
This is obviously not the first time that someone thought of jutting down what’s going through their head. I am self-aware enough to know that I didn’t invent the concept of writing about my life and inner turmoil. YouTubers and ex-Vine stars already did that before me, just look at the list of New York Times Bestselling Authors and you’ll see it for yourself. And if Gabbie Hannah can publish her own poetry book (never forget “Link ... in Bio”), I can damn well make another unknown blog where I share what seems to have gotten stuck somewhere on the way from my brain to my mouth.
Sorry, by the way, if nobody got those weird references. Whenever I’m not busy bashing my overthinking head against the metaphorical wall of fear of my sharing emotions, I spend most of my time watching drama channels explain why yet another book published by yet another unproportionally famous vlogger is yet again unsurprisingly shit. But that’s not the point of this first blog entry, so let’s let the money-hungry world of YouTubers performing figurative self-fellatio rest.
Bottom line: I need to get better at talking. To people other than my therapist, that is. Because frankly, if that poor woman has to listen to even more twenty minute rants of me dissecting my own broken psyche, she’s probably gonna quit her job and then I officially have no one left to chew through my issues with. And that would be quite unfortunate for everyone involved.
So, I want to practice. Try out the whole brain-to-mouth thing, but in a less confrontational way, by making it a brain-to-keyboard thing first. And not just that, I want to make an active effort in setting myself reminders that no matter how deep and lost I am in my own overthinking patterns, I can always put a stop to it and just spew it out onto virtual paper. To get it out of my system, manifest it into something more physical, read through it, recognize what’s lacking and what I need to change and lastly, editing it into something that makes more sense to me and also others.
In summary, this is kind of just me making my own “How To Talk About Emotions – For Dummies” guide. I expect no one to read all of what me and my sore yet hyperactive mind come up with, but I still gladly invite you to, should you care to see what that looks like. I apologize in advance though, I do tend to over-dramatize and under-estimate the way and amount I write about most things, including my own feelings.
But hey, maybe by writing this blog somewhat close to regularly, I’ll also figure out a way to talk about my emotions in a way that isn’t filled with unnecessarily smart-assy Big Dictionary Words and pop culture references barely anyone understands. Let’s hope for the best.
After it now took me exactly 1.291 words to explain what could have been explained in about two sentences, I’m finally gonna shut up. “Thank the Lord”, I hear you say. Or ... maybe that’s just my overthinker voice and fear of vulnerability that heard you say that? Kerstin would probably smile and nod proudly now. Gold star for me, yay. Just kidding, I never get any cool stickers for my achievements. Honestly, that whole therapy thing is way less fun than I thought it would be, I just want a stamp that says “Great job!” or “Super cool!” every now and then. Is that too much to ask? Okay, I think I see now what she meant when she said that I seem to secretly rely on the approval of others for personal successes so I can compensate the fact that I never give myself any credit for them.
Phew, that whole writing things down idea seems to already pay off. But okay, enough self-revelations for today. I have no idea how often I will actually write on here and even less of an idea what the topics will be. However, I will always include tags and trigger warnings, so that if there actually is someone who reads through it, they can know what each post is about.
So, yeah. That’s it for now. Brain-to-keyboard to you soon. (Get it, that’s my way of saying talk to you soon, because– okay, yeah, you got it. Right.)
P.S.: Yes, the name of the blog is a pun, let me live a little.
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( @lenoxsyed )It’s eternally one of his favourite parts of the evening, escaping the dense alcoholic atmosphere of the clubs and embracing fresh air into his lungs with a climactic exhalation. All things considered, it had been a good night, he’d drank an assortment of cocktails, coquetted with numerous men and was on his last packet of aspirin to shift as placebo molly. Lenox does well to not exclaim at the hands grabbing him, it must have been something to do with the amount of vodka in his system miraculously sedating his inner drama queen thank genuine control. “Well hello Lenox, good to see you Lenox, may I say that silk shirt looks utterly extraordinary on you Lenox,” he exaggerates his tone, correcting Jack’s behaviour with what he would have deemed a welcoming start to a conversation rather than manhandling him into a corner to ask for favours. Even if it was slightly seducing to be sought after- let’s not romanticise the computer guy again.
“Oh, but I adore it,” an elegant finger extends to prod the other’s cheek, millimetres away from the bruising but close enough that Lenox know’s it will cause Jack to recoil. It was pleasing to feel power at your fingertips. “Thing is Jack, I’m probably no more convenient than the…maybelline… concealer,” he grits his teeth together in what was a blatant distaste to referring his likeness to that of a $5 drugstore brand concealer. Come on, if he were going to be a concealer at least make it something with better pigment and a wider colour range. Fenty maybe, then again it may be coming across a little too conceited to declare himself the brainchild of Rihanna. “I can only get rid of it if I’m in the same room as you. Unless this is a formal invitation to future Blackburn gatherings and meetings to which I kindly accept, I have a couple ideas that would really blow Alma’s mind.” Except he didn’t, that was an absolute lie apart for maybe he’d tell her that a side parting would be far more flattering for her face shape and to perhaps even ditch the pearl earrings she’d obsessively been wearing lately. granny-ish, Lenox remarks within the safety of his intoxicated mind.
“Anyway, must dash, I’m busy,” the same extended finger now bops the tip of Jack’s nose, no sense of boundaries, as if he’d cared to begin with. “Kids in Miami are way easier to sell to than the Chicago scene,” he sighs dreamily, bejewelled hands that wore a ring on every finger tapping together with delight before beaming at Jack with a brilliant smile. Of course, it was brilliant, he’d been using an illusion his entire life to make sure his pearly whites glimmered enough to make that of an LA dentist want to sob from their beauty. “You wanna know the first thing I’ll buy?” He begins to speak again immediately before Jack can even get a word in, Lenox doesn’t care if they want to hear it or not. “A pair of Gucci loafers, you know the ones, with the horse bit detailing on the front and the embroidered bees on the heel. They’re platform too, have you ever considered platform shoes, darling?” his eyes dart up and down the other man’s figure in suggestion to his height. Not that Lenox could talk, he was all illusions and no substance in every way possible from his glistening hair to a flawless complexion. Fake, fake and fake. “Before I go, you wouldn’t happen to have a lighter?”
Once again, he’s missed his mark. It’s not like Jack’s got stellar social skills, but trying to get Lenox to do something has always been exceptionally like pulling teeth. The Maybelline comment had been meant to get Lenox on his side, flash a bit of humility and hope it would be shiny enough to keep his attention, but from the grit of Lenox’s teeth it seems Jack’s only fucked it up again. Everything he seems to say to the guy gets slippery, goes sideways somehow, an all too familiar point of irritation. But it’s not like he has anywhere else to go, so he pushes on.
As usual Jack ignores Lenox’s branching tangents, trying to remain on the topic he came here for, rather than silk shirts or Rhianna. It’s far too easy to get distracted talking to Lenox; so easy to get caught on one of the threads of thought he throws out like candy, leaving Jack chasing one of his nonsense comments until fifteen minutes have passed and Jack is either storming off or pulling his own hair out over some topic he doesn’t give a shit about. At least the other man’s monologuing gives Jack a chance to wave down a waiter, gesturing for another round of shots.
When Lenox pokes the bruise under his eye, Jack jumps like he’s been burned, even though he can barely feel the contact. Normally he’d say something biting about it, but he doesn’t have time for pigtail-pulling tonight, so he barrels on as if Lenox never touched him. “Shut up about Alma,” he says, protective on reflex. “You know you’re never getting in that room. Try it and I’ll wipe you off the internet.” The ability to delete Lenox’s instagram is one of the few powers he holds above him, and he likes to remind him of it every once in a while, just to keep him on his toes. Jack can be slippery too. “And you’re not going anywhere,” he says, more confident than he actually feels. He’s learned it’s best to deal with Lenox with a firm hand, or else lose track of him completely– even though he’s fully aware the man has no reason to listen to him, or not just disappear back into the club. Fake it ‘till you make it, and all that.
Jack passes Lenox one of the shots, tapping it with his own shot glass before throwing back the tequila. It’s a smooth, economical motion, all business, no fucking around. He doesn’t meet Lenox’s eyes again until he’s pulled out his lighter, lighting his nth cigarette of the evening before passing it over, all the while eyeing him over the smoke appraisingly. He chainsmokes when he’s nervous; hopefully, Lenox hasn’t noticed.
Jack had his doubts about the extent of Lenox’s powers, had known to not get his hopes up. The reality of the situation is still a crushing blow, mostly because it means they’re going to have to go with plan B. Jack doesn’t like plan B. “Look, Syed–” he starts, with the feeling of a man sharpening the blade on his own guillotine. He lowers his voice, serious. “How many pairs of Gucci loafers would it take for you to– punch me. In public.” God, he wants another tequila already. He’s trying to not picture the loafers. He glances over Lenox’s head at the crowded smoking area, considering. “Out here would work, actually.”
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Emilie Autumn anon here. Haha, yeah, I know her music’s not for everyone. If you only liked Castle Down and weren’t too keen on Liar, then it’s likely you won’t enjoy her Opheliac or Fight Like a Girl eras, FLaG characterized by harsher sounds compared to her Opheliac era, though ironically the lyrics are focused on recovery and not as rage-filled as in her Opheliac era (her Opheliac era can be triggering for survivors of sexual assault, btw, as she is explicit about her own experience and suffering and doesn’t mince words when she calls rapists out, Liar is from this era). However, you might like stuff from her Enchant era, when she was pop baroque-ish and indie and sang about fairies and knights and Shakespeare characters. Maybe you’d enjoy songs like:
Chambermaid: That moment when she sings “Tell me what I have to do to make you understand it’s a lost cause, lover” / “Hold me close when you were thinking of her” / “I don’t want to hear you say you love me” / “You’ve been gone such a long time won’t you tell where” / “Before I have to see this face I once adored” KILLS me with strordo feels. And it fits what you did with Misery Loves Company. Less a character’s thoughts and more like a dialogue between Mordo and Stephen. I also love the potential drama found in Stephen and Mordo fucking during Stephen’s time in KT, with Mordo knowing that Christine means something to Stephen yet not knowing exactly what, and thinking that Stephen is not attracted to him and just using him as a port in a storm while thinking of Christine. But Stephen’s just thinking of Mordo, probably in an incoherent inner monologue that’s pretty much Why is the world’s most beautiful man taking my dick??? *gives self a mental high-five*
How Strange: Or as I like to call it, Emilie Autumn’s first and last foray into the uncharted lands of R&B lol
Juliet: A song about *drum roll* Romeo and Juliet. She manages to make it sweet yet at the same there’s an undercurrent of “oh shit something’s about to happen” because... you know. Spoilers for all five people that don’t know but Romeo and Juliet die at the end. I love it mostly for the violin solo at the end. Emilie is quite the accomplished violinist and when she throws those violin solos it’s fucking awesome.
Let the Record Show: You won’t enjoy this one, probably lol But for anyone interested in both Emilie and those songs I was going to use for that Karl Mordo Can’t Stop Falling for Problematic Men mix, this is one of them. It’s prime post-DS Mordo. “If I’m going down then I’m going down good” / “If I’m going down then I’m going down clean” / “If I’m going down then I’m going” / “The prettiest wretched whore you’ll ever see”
Opheliac: Same as above lol this song is the one that gives the name to an era. Same as above, this was part of the fanmix. “I’ve been so disillusioned” / “I know you’d take me back, but still I feign confusion” / “I couldn’t be your friend, my world was too unstable” / “I’m open to attack, but I don’t wanna hurt you” / “How could you possibly think you had the power to know how to keep me breathing?” / “You know the games play and the words I say when I want my own way” / “You know the lies I tell when you’ve gone through hell and they say I can’t stay” / “You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me when everything and everyone becomes my enemy” / “And when there’s nothing more you can do, I’m gonna blame it on you” / “It’s not the way I wanna be” / “I only hope that in the end you will see”
Mad Girl: Back to songs you might enjoy! lol This one is from the Opheliac era, actually, back when Emilie was obsessed with tragic women from fiction (mostly Shakespeare and Brit Lit) like Ophelia. For an Opheliac era song, its instrumentation is different and softly melancholic. Quick confession, this song always makes me cry. This one is also one of the songs for the aforementioned fanmix, because I will die before I stop referring to Karl Mordo as the classic-tragic-maiden-but-as-a-gay-man character that he is. “In all your fairytales, how did the prince say he loved you?” / “How did your father die?” / “Was he a good man?” / “My melancholy state, folly, fear, and hate, I know” / “My friend in this world is a bottle of nothing” / “Still I try, still I fall”
Rapunzel: And we have arrived to the Enchant era! This song gives me sweet young Mordo staring out his window dreaming of his prince while stuck in Bavaria vibes. “If you sing loud and clear, someone passing by will surely hear you” / “No, you can’t be afraid”
Rose Red: Another from Enchant. As you can tell, it’s vaguely related to Rose Red the fairytale. “Tell me no stories and I’ll tell you no lies” / “No one wants to hurt me but everybody tries” / “For this freedom I have given all I had” / “For this darkness I gave my light” / “For this wisdom I have lost my innocence” / “Take my petals and cover me with night”
What If: This is peak Enchant era, imo. “I am far too tried to stay here” / “And I don’t care what you think of me” / “’Cause I think you were wrong about me” / “And what if you were?” / “What if I’m the kindest demon, something you may not believe in?” / “What if I’m a siren, singing gentlemen to sleep?” / “What if I’m a weeping willow, laughing tears upon my pillow?” / “What if I’m a socialite, who wants to be alone?” / “What if I’m an angel, without wings to take me home?” / “What if I’m a crowded desert, too much pain with little pleasure?” / “What if I don’t know who I am, will that keep us both from trying?”
Special mention goes to Shalott, which I believe I already mentioned in the original post I made (or how I like to call it, Anon’s Evangelizing for Emilie Autumn lol), but I never added the lyrics that make go Mordo-bby-ilu-get-urself-a-good-man-ok. “She looks up the mirrored glass” / “She sees a handsome horse and rider pass” / “She says, ‘That man’s gonna be my death ‘cause he’s all I ever wanted in my life’” / “I know he doesn’t my name and that all the girls are all the same to him” / “So I’ll meet my death” / “But with my last breath I’ll sing to him my love and he’ll see my face in another place”
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Heya Nonny!
Oh wowowow! I’m listening to the song recommendations again right now. You hit the nail on the head with the songs I’d like more. I ended up listening to the Enchant album twice while the Opheliac album was very hard to get through, more so because of the subject matter though. It’s very raw and there’s a lot of pain and anger there. I don’t know much about the artist but I hope she’s recovering and is doing well now. Rape is a brutal experience and for her to share the emotions and thoughts she went through is extremely powerful and heartbreaking.
I actually really enjoyed “Shalott” and the acoustic version of “Mad Girl.” Her voice is super emotive and lively, raw with emotions. I can see why people can hear stordo, and more specifically Mordo in the songs.
“Juliet” has a gorgeous violin number at the start and throughout and it makes me think of Mordo playing the violin in his family castle, just thinking of the romances he used to read and how life is more tragic than romantic. T____T
“Chambermaid” really does give off the vibe that Christine’s still in the background of Mordo’s mind when he’s with Stephen. I also really enjoyed the fortune telling and card reading motifs of the song. It really needs to the magic aspect of strordo, as well as the ‘fated to meet’ aspect of their pairing.
“Rose Red” and “Rapunzel” give me youthful Mordo vibes. When he’s still hopefully and longing for the love found hia fairytales.
And okay.....I really, really fucking liked “How Strange.” Especially this part...
You know I think it's strange
Just a little bit deranged
That you think I'm gonna change to make you happy
If you can tell me why
I should wait around then I
May be coming down
But until then this means
You can see me in your dreams
Oh man that entire part makes me think of Mordo looking back at the night he walked away. He’s not gonna change just to make Stephen feel happy, and he’s asking why he should stay and wait. It’s so sad and I love it.
My favorite one amongst these songs though is....
“What If.” It’s honestly such a gorgeous song! Also a very vulnerable one.
And I'm far too tired to stay here anymore
And I don't care what you think anyway
'Cause I think you were wrong about me
Yeah what if you were, what if you were
And what if I'm a snowstorm burning
What if I'm a world unturning
What if I'm an ocean
Far too shallow, much too deep
What if I'm the kindest demon
Something you may not believe in
What if I'm a siren
Singing gentlemen to sleep
Ummmm....excuse me. That’s all Mordo to me. It’s heartbreaking, full of turmoil, full of brimming heartache and upheaval, like Mordo doesn’t even know who he is or where he belongs anymore. It makes me think of those months he spent away trying to figure it all out alone. Baby just....just please go home. Stephen’s waiting for you. Let him explain and make up for it baby ;____; Please
Thank you so much for sharing these recommendations Nonny! I’m not much of a rock or folk person. I’m actually realllly vanilla with my music taste, namely old power ballads and musical showstoppers hehehe. But that’s why I really appreciate it when people share different types of music with me! I enjoy discovering new things. And now I’m currently replying “What if” pretty much endlessly. I wouldn’t have discovered it if not for you. So thank you for sharing these Nonny!
#songs for strordo#strordo#stephen strange/karl mordo#otp feels#thank you nonny#ask and answer#submission
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Kuzu no Honkai – 06
Hanabi is tired of feeling empty, or that she’s being hollowed out. She wonders more what it’s like to play with peoples emotions; whether it feels as good as Akane makes it seem. She wants to claim everyone who likes her for her own – no mean feat, but she feels like she can’t not try.
Because Akane doesn’t want Ecchan, Hanabi tries to cut her loose as quickly as possible to avoid complications and ruining their friendship. But Hanabi and Ecchan have already slept together, so their relationship is irrevocably changed.
Not only that, Ecchan won’t let go; she’s not simply giving Hanabi leave to use her, she’s insisting. And because of their bond, she knows Hanabi won’t resist. Indeed, Hanabi considers it just punishment for what she did to Ecchan.
After recovering from a fever (likely brought on in part from the stress of dealing with all this shit) Hanabi goes into town and bumps into Takeya, the guy she and Mugi saw with Akane. As soon as I realized who it was, I knew some trouble was going to ensue. After all, Hanabi is on a mission to beat Akane at her own game.
I’ll allow the coincidence, because it results in some of the best inner monologue by Hanabi yet; a sometimes disturbing, sometimes hilarious play-by-play commentary of her interactions with Takeya. She starts out with Don’t touch me, don’t get near me, then the light bulb goes off.
Before our eyes and ears, she starts to put in play what Ecchan says Hanabi naturally has: a knack for nabbing guys. It rarely occurs to her that she’s an attractive being, since she doesn’t really trust anyone other than Onii-chan, and her own inner voice despises her.
When she learns he knows he’s one of many and will “never have [Akane]” to himself, his value to her drops considerably, but not completely. Taking something of Akane’s – particularly someone so into her, is one of her goals, so even though she almost caves and sends Takuya away, she manages to salvage the situation.
Takuya is, for the most part, respectful and keeps his ears open to what Hanabi does and does not want, and agrees they’ll take things slow, and not go all the way their first time. Hanabi’s closing inner remarks regarding their date are suitably devastating, and indicate she thinks she’s getting the hang of this: I’ll pretend with you as much as you want. Then you can fall for a fake version of me.
Another thing Ecchan said to Hanabi is that there’s nothing wrong with having oneself be the only one who knows one’s true self. Akane doesn’t seem to let anyone else know. After that bit of advice, Hanabi considers whether Akane truly is happy, or is lonely and sad as she, just better at hiding it. There are no true answers to be had, as it should be.
As for Ecchan, she acts against Hanabi x Mugi, planting in his head the possibility that Hanabi is still “cheating” on him with another guy. Hanabi never told Mugi who she slept with, and actually is popular with the guys, so Mugi has no problem letting that seed sprout suspicion in his head. Ecchan is still very much gunning for Hanabi.
Well now, that’s a pretty apt subtitle there! I was beginning to think Kuzu had forgotten about Moca. But then, Kuzu doesn’t do anything by accident. After a slightly jarring introduction in which we kind of had our fill of her, the show wisely kept her away, knowing her extended absence would be noted, and increasing the drama when she suddenly shows up at the end of this episode.
Moca gets to the point, with honesty and forthrightness that seems to tick Mugi off, calling it “unexciting” in his head. Moca probably doesn’t even know who Ecchan is, but inadvertently benefits from the doubt she planted in Mugi’s head, adding water and fertilizer to the sprout by telling him Hanabi doesn’t really want him.
Then fruit is borne: Mugi asks Moca on a date. If Hanabi can have her something on the side, why can’t he?
The episode closes with Hanabi stringing Takeya along via text (I love her fireworks avatar, as that’s what her name means), continuing to play the field, her bedroom window open to the Summer night, the night before vacation starts.
It’s a long way from being feverish, under the covers, and completely at a loss for what to do or who she is. Hanabi is now on a mission, and her date with Takuya gave her confidence.
Like Moca with Mugi or Ecchan with her, she seems to understand that persistence is necessary to achieve her goal of beating Akane. She’s no match for her yet, but good God, imagine if she becomes one…or even surpasses Miss Minagawa? As Ecchan says (and Mugi agrees), what makes Hanabi great is her “danger.” Well, she’s in the thick of it now.
By: sesameacrylic
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Flash Fiction
I’ve had it. With everyone. I’m over it. I’m over all the gossip about who slept with who, who talked shit, who’s got a bright future and who’s about to have a mental breakdown. It’s their lives! Let them deal with their own problems as you should with yours! Why do you feel the need to slither your way into other peoples issues, get involved, add more drama to the situation then go on to someone else who's not involved about how you don't want to be involved and how emotionally draining it is and how you've got enough on your plate and how you just don't need to be dealing with this right now because, honestly, that’s great that your realizing all of that but maybe take your own advice and go do it!
As this inner monologue goes on in my head I sit here during break surrounded by my peers who are talking about the next party coming ups this weekend. I truly don’t see why they just can’t seem to stop talking about it because it’s really not that important. Its just another party where the boys will show up in some t-shirt and jeans, play beer pong and be opinionated on the music choice while the girls will dress to the nines, dance around with their friends, tell everyone how obsessed they are with them and how pretty they are and how they need to hangout soon wile they observe the beer pong games from the side cheering on their boyfriends and whatever. Anyways while all the fun chit chat goes on, I look around the hall to see if anything will distract me from this gross morning that I unfortunately have to go through but as unlucky as my day seems to be the walls are just bland. Boring beige with boring grey lockers. I see some chipping from the paint but thats as fun as it gets here.
While I desperately search for anything better than my internal hell going on right now i see one of my friends Amy walk down the hallways making eye contact so that I understand her urgency to talk to me. Ugh, I hope its about class or about the weather or just about anything other than gossip or party plans.Amy’s usually got something good to say. Come on amy. You can do it. I believe in you. As she sits beside me she utters the words that I dreaded to hear; “You will NOT believe what I just heard about Jack and Macy!”
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