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queen-scribbles · 3 years

Note

Handholding #39 (museum) for Ryn/Red? seems right up their alley :)

39. holding hands in a museum to pull them to the next exhibition

Oh, it absolutely does, here we GO. This is set in canon between chapters 5 and 6, but there's no spoilers or anything for either. Just fluff.

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Even with the Order growing like it was, days off were still a treat. Days off that coincided with Red's day off felt like a luxury or gift straight from the hand of the One-God. And the fact he'd jumped straight to "oh, we have to spend at least part of it together, then," when they realized the overlap made Xaeryn smile so wide her face hurt.

She was the one to suggest the museum, after they'd spent the morning reading so long their eyes crossed, and one particularly ancient tome made Red sneeze five times in a row. He agreed with alacrity that suggested he'd been thinking something similar and the two of them carefully reshelved their stacks of books before heading out into the streets of Haven.

"So, where do we start when we get there?" Xaeryn asked as they headed toward the museum at a deliberate mosey.

Red rubbed the back of his neck and flashed a small sheepish smile. "Is it a cop-out to say I don't care because I hope we have time to see everything?"

She laughed and looped her arm through his. "Alright, I'll pick, even if I am hoping the same thing. Let's start in the west gallery and work around to finish in the east."

"Sounds good to me," he amiably.

The museum was rather empty when they arrived; most people opting to spend the first nice day after a week-long heat wave outdoors. Still, their iladrin drew suspicious initial looks from even those few. The Shepherd medallion hanging prominently around Xaeryn's neck kept it from being anything more, as did the fact she was recognizable to most, but the knee-jerk distrust still made her roll her eyes.

"How long d'you think you'll make it before someone asks you to sign something?" Red murmured, amusement heavy in his voice.

Xaeryn rolled her eyes again, with a smile this time, and scanned the hall. "I don't see any children, who're usually the one to start that, so I'll likely escape unbothered." Hopefully. She hated the notoriety she'd achieved. The other patrons would steal glances and whisper gossip about the Hero of Haven, but if the One-God loved her at all no one would try to talk to her.

"Act like a tourist, that'll probably help," Red joked, and she laughed. "I'm serious, Ryn."

"No, I know. It's a good idea." She arched a brow at him. "Shall we test if it actually works?"

"Might as well," he said, laughing a he ran one hand through his hair.

Xaeryn bit back a smile and reached over to smooth a couple particularly wild spikes of hair left in the motion's wake. "Doing research on our day off, Liefred?"

Red grinned boyishly at her teasing tone. "It's fun. And it was your idea, Xaer."

She couldn't argue with either of those excellent points(which was absolutely unrelated to the things his smile was doing to her), so she simply nodded in concession and headed for a nearby pair of statues.

They started in the same place, but gradually drifted apart as they made their way further into the museum and their attention was caught by different things. Xaeryn lost track of Red altogether somewhere around the Relics of the Early Church exhibit, which he skimmed through with only a cursory glance and she spent nearly half an hour perusing every last placard and artifact there. It was fine; they'd reconnect eventually. (It wasn't like this was a date or anything, right?)

Xaeryn was engrossed in studying the fading and weathered map central to the Eastward Explorers exhibit when a hand settled on her wrist and she started to jerk back.

"Just me," Red assured her, and she stopped halfway through the motion. "Sorry, I forgot- Xaer, you have to see this!"

Knowing now it was him, she let him grab her hand and drag her down the hall toward another exhibit. An actual giggle escaped her when she saw what had him so worked up.

"All the artifacts and treasures in here, trust you to get excited over a book," she teased.

"Like you're any different," Red grinned back, not batting an eye.

Xaeryn laughed. "Touché."

They drew to a halt by the display pedestal and Red gestured enthusiastically toward the hefty tome laid open atop it. "Look."

She obliged, and it only took a few seconds' focus on the visible pages for her brows to furrow, then arch. "Sun above..." She could see why he was so excited; from what she could read this tome appeared to precede the one she'd given him for his birthday. At the very least it was something of a companion volume. "That's definitely worth getting excited over," she murmured.

Red made a noise of distracted agreement as he stared at the tome. "What do you think the odds are they'd lend that to the Shepherds if we asked?"

"Low," she said, hating his disappointment but unwilling to lie. "At least, not without a good reason." She squeezed his hand, still wrapped around hers. "And 'just curious' unfortunately is not enough in scenarios like this."

"That's what I figured," he sighed around a wry laugh, still staring at the pages. "But think about what might be in there, Ryn."

"I know." Xaeryn studied the display, mind already spinning. "This looks like a new exhibit. Maybe once it's been here a month or two, we can come with a reason to borrow it for a few days and just resign ourselves to not seeing you for those few days."

Red laughed. "Blade wouldn't want us to lie."

"I don't want us to lie," she said, leaning in so their arms pressed together. You're terrible at it, anyway. "That's why I said come with a reason, not make one up." She tugged on his hand. "Come on, there's still lots to see, and we're burning daylight."

Red looked like he wanted to press the previous conversation further, but let it go as he followed her from the room. Their hands stayed joined the rest of the way through the museum.

And the walk home.

"Nice to have a day I don't have to fight Endarkened," Xaeryn commented as they reached Ashtown.

"Careful, we're not back yet, it could still happen," Red teased.

She shot him a flat look for even speaking the possibility into existence. "Any demons show up to ruin my day with you, I will send them screaming back to Hael before you can say 'Solhadur Academy'."

"I believe you," he chuckled, leaning over to brush a kiss against her temple, only briefly hesitating before his lips met her skin. "And I'm flattered."

"You should be," Xaeryn teased, returning the kiss with one on his cheek. "I had a good time today, Red."

Red smiled and squeezed her hand. "Me, too, Xaer."

They walked into the Shepherd compound--back to reality--together. It had been, Xaeryn thought contented, a very good use of a day off.

#queens fic #shoh #xaeryn shrike #red antiqua #ryn/red #good god they're so cute #it was almost weird writing them NOT in the 20s au xD #but i have museum related plans for them there and i don't wanna steal my own thunder #handholding prompts

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kimmyiewrites · 4 years

Text

Wasted ~ Chpt 6

Catch Up Masterlist

The next day it was Frank's turn in the witness stand and Evelyn's lawyer did not let up in any sort of way. As he continued to hound Frank, Ryn kept sliding forward in her seat, wanting nothing more than to yell it was my idea before launching into some sort of defense for Frank. Thankfully Roberta was there, holding her hand to keep her grounded, to keep her seated.

As the lawyer kept talking, a pit formed in her stomach. Yesterday seemed so promising but of course she should have known that Evelyn wasn't going to hold back any punches.

"Diane wanted Mary to be a kid." Frank finally got out in the onslaught of words being thrown his way. "She wanted her to have a life. She wanted her to have friends and to play and to be happy."

The lawyer was not letting up. "Do you realize the consequences of boredom for a gifted child, Mr. Adler?"

Ryn rolled her eyes. Did he know the consequences of too much pressure on a gifted child? Clearly neither Evelyn or her lawyer wanted to accept that fact when it came to Diane. Then the mention of Mary breaking a fellow student's nose happened and Ryn turned to look to Bonnie who was on the other side of her for confirmation.

"She was defending a fellow student against a bully just as Frank said." Bonnie whispered.

"On October 16th of last year were you arrested for assault?" The lawyer asked and Ryn mostly likely got whiplash from how quickly she turned her head to face Frank once more. Oh, did they have lots to speak about.

Frank sighed and Ryn could tell that he was getting defeated. Now she wished she could properly throw her hat into the mix because she definitely didn't want Evelyn anywhere near Mary.

And the lawyer would just not stop as if he was hammering in a nail to a coffin. Poor Cullen was doing his best to try to get it to stop and finally he asked if Frank's continual guardianship was in the best interest of Mary.

"Yes." Frank answered, trying his best to still sound so sure of himself after having all of his mistakes and insecurities about raising his niece thrown in his face.

Once the hearing adjourned for the day, Ryn made sure she was at the end of the aisle, fully planning on not letting Frank run away. Instead, the complete opposite happened. As he passed her, Frank took Ryn's hand and tugged her along with him, not saying a word until they reached his truck.

He opened the passenger door for her but before she could climb in, he wrapped her up in his arms and buried his face in her neck. She was shocked by the action. She knew something was on his mind with how tightly he had been holding her hand but she hadn't expected this. She immediately reciprocated the embrace, bringing a hand up to his head so she could run her fingers through his hair.

"I fucked everything up, didn't I?" He whispered.

"I don't know but that last bit didn't sound good even if she was standing up to a bully. She really broke a kid's nose?"

"She hit him in the face with a text book."

Chuckling at the image that new detail conjured up, Ryn gave a small shrug. "Well, we can't exactly be mad about that, can we?"

"I told her it wasn't good to go around hitting people no matter the circumstance." He chuckled.

"Sounds like solid parenting to me. And what's this about you getting arrested?"

Frank groaned. "Can we drop that one?"

"What happened, Frank?" She needed to know something. She wanted to help in some way and if she could figure something out and talk to Cullen about how to potentially spin things, then maybe things would turn out alright.

"I flirted with someone who I didn't know was with someone else and they took a swing at me. I defended myself and wound up having to stay the night in the holding cell because I was too drunk to drive home even if I was only a little over the legal limit."

Ryn let out a small sigh which caused Frank to groan. "I know, Ryn, I know."

"I didn't even say anything. You were defending yourself from a man who didn't know how to use his words. How can I respond any other way than that?"

He pulled away but just enough so he could see her face. "That is not how the judge is going to see that and you know it."

"Then call me back up onto the stand again. Cullen never asked me any questions. I can still help."

Frank shook his head and motioned for Ryn to get into the truck. "Today was the last day to hear the different sides to the case. I just want to get home and spend time with Mary."

Spending time with Mary turned into Frank reading on the couch, Mary playing with Fred, and Ryn outside on a business call. The young girl ran over to where Frank was sitting and jumped up onto his stomach. "Research and Development has come up with a brand new Fred cheer. Fred personally asked me if I would tell you it." She had announced.

Fred let out a small huff as Mary jumped onto him, lowering the book that he was reading. "Let's hear it." He said with a small smile.

"S-O-C-K-I-T, sock it to me Freddy. Sock it! Sock it!" She cheered, dragging out the vowel sound, adding in some vocalizations as she spun her small fists around before opening her arms and hands up on either side of her head, moving from side to side.

"Tell R & D they got a winner." Frank smiled up at her, looking up at her with nothing but love for his niece. He really couldn't believe that he had been so lucky to raise her so far and he hoped that she wouldn't be taken away from him.

"That's exactly what I said." She grinned as she hopped off of him to go back to what she was doing.

Just before Mary settled back into her spot, Ryn came back in. The young girl took her godmother's hand to grab her attention and once again was going through the cheer. Ryn grinned and expressed how much she liked it based solely on how large Mary's smile was. Frank had been too lost in thought about how badly he wanted this. They could have easily already been a true family unit if he hadn't been such a coward. Hell, his mother probably wouldn't be fighting him for custody because if Ryn had come down to Florida with him, she would have surely already thought about adoption and making everything legitimate in the eyes of the law.

"What's that look for?" Ryn's question broke him out of his reverie causing a small blush to cover his cheeks.

"Uh, nothing. I must have gone into my own world. Wanna sit?" He asked, sitting up from where he was laying down.

Ryn sat down in the spot he had just created before her lap was filled with broad shoulders and toned muscles hidden under a button down. She laughed a bit before settling one hand in his hair and the other on his torso as if this was something they had done plenty of times before, and they had.

"Everything okay?" He asked after he smirked up at her. He finally noticed how tense she seemed to be.

She slowly nodded. "Yeah, yeah. My manager's just getting a little antsy is all. It's not like I didn't just open up a new exhibit or anything. I'm still doing plenty of sales of prints and originals. Apparently parents are threatening to take kids out of classes so it's making him worried."

"Do you need to go back?" He didn't want her to go but it sounded like she needed to in order to save her studio.

She shook her head. "I told him not to worry and to look into virtual options. He forgets sometimes that I've gotten quite the decent reputation up there. I'll make a few calls to the crazy moms and everything will be settled."

He let out a small sigh. This was just a reminder as to why he didn't bring her down here in the first place. "Ryn, if you need to..."

"Frank, don't." She cut him off. "Things are fine and I've been meaning to look into online classes anyway. I can only stand Boston's elite for so long. I think it's time to look into expanding my audience. Now what are you reading?" She asked to change the subject.

#frank adler fic #frank adler imagine #gifted fic #frank adler #wasted #frank x ryn #this is my queue song

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rynweaverwriting · 4 years

Video

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The Dizzy Stargazers Project: 5 Questions for 5 Years of The Fool

Conducted by Maria Kornacki

Shoutout to Malcolm MacMaster for the support and giving me a space to make this happen!

“An artist's duty, as far I’m concerned, is to reflect the times.” - Nina Simone

“Music is a universal language” is a common phrase, but it rings true. Music brings people together. Artists often thrive on the intimacy of live shows. However, quarantine has put life on hold.

Social distancing combined with social media challenges us to communicate in other ways. I’ve seen people’s creativity shine during these strange times.

This project is intended to give voice to people, hear their stories, and see how we’re all connected. It’s also a celebration of five years since The Fool was released. It’s a time of reflection and moving forward.

I sent these five questions to several of Ryn Weaver’s fans/friends. The answers could’ve been in written form or a video:

What’s one of your favorite songs and/or lyrics from The Fool and why?

What does it mean to be a “Fool” to you?

What’s one of your favorite memories of Ryn, either in real life or just through social media interactions?

How has your perception of Ryn’s album and her music as a whole shifted since first listening to it? In other words, have you gained any new insights or is there something in your current life you can connect back to certain themes in The Fool?

In what ways has music helped you?

Responses:

Maria Kornacki (ig: @maria_kornacki)

1. Here Is Home is a standout stylistically. I just like how it has an “in-between” tempo to fit the lyrics. New Constellations and parts of Traveling Song are lyrical embodiments of “the fool” to me, which brings me to my response.

2. A “fool” to me is someone who asks a lot of questions, but doesn’t get all the answers to feel satisfied. Thus, they live the outer life of a nomad stemming from an endless quest for wisdom in their inner world.

3. My favorite memory has to be going live with you for your enriching and confidence-building creative writing prompts despite me being a little unprepared the first time. It made me realize how many music and book synchronicities we have. Also, shoutout to my blue soul individuals: Maggie and Joni. Nina is a color of her own.

4. I connect more with the concept of loss and not settling in terms of my career life. The themes of The Fool follow me in different areas of my life. I also relate to the idea of “what if there’s more?” even just through learning new info and diving deeper.

5. Music has helped me share my expressive and creative sides as well as connect with like minded people, hence why I started this project (2 weeks ago). I didn’t really see myself as someone that could lead, organize, and share my ideas openly, and yet here we are.

Sam (twitter: @heremotionss)

1. My favorite is Pierre because of how personal sounding it is and I love the chorus.

2. I always associate it with being renewed and falling in love.

3. My favorite Ryn memory on social media is when we tweeted about her pet rat.

4. The Fool is an album that doesn’t age. I think I can associate this album personally with coming into young adulthood.

5. Music is a language that can connect with any emotion, and any time in life. I think when certain pieces of work can make people feel something, then it becomes a movement in a way.

Sarah (twitter: @rynsgirlfriend)

1. My favorite lyric from The Fool is "I've never been one for goodbyes". I have trouble dealing with grief and losses and this is very comforting to me.

2. What being a "fool" means to me is following your heart and passions although it may seem crazy. Being a fool to me means submitting to your desires even if you know better.

3. Ryn has always been nothing but caring and compassionate to me. Every time she has supported me is a time that is my favorite. Throughout the years, I've carried heavy trauma with me that's made me erratic, emotional and hard to understand, and Ryn has always been nurturing and supportive.

4. When The Fool first came out, i haven't experienced the pain I have prior to the album release. When I listen to the fool now, I connect more than ever, having dealt with limerence and how painful it can be.

5. Music has helped me feel less alone. I remember always thinking I was crazy and that there was no one like me i could relate to. When artists release vulnerable songs it is metaphorically (to me) a hand on my shoulder, sitting with me through the pain and letting me know I'm not alone.

Bo (ig: @kyototrain)

1. I think my favorite song off of The Fool is New Constellations because it addresses the main point of the album; the uncertainty of what path to take in life. It resonates with me because when I entered college I thought I was confident in what I wanted to do, only to realize I was clueless and unsure of my future. I had to seriously think about what I wanted for myself and how it might make the people close to me feel. While all of the possibilities life can take you can be overwhelming, there’s a relief in it knowing you can choose to be anything you want and do anything you want.

2. To be a fool is to not let the fear of finding your own way in the world keep you limited to something that makes you unhappy.

3. My friend group on twitter added Ryn to our group chat (Taco Bell vigil). We added her thinking she would never come in to chat but she did one night, and we talked with her until like 2 am about music, theatre, stuff like that. It made us all really happy. She comes back to talk sometimes and she calls us tacos.

4. The Fool came out when I was 16, so I didn’t have much life experience. As a result, I wasn’t able to relate a whole lot to the album (I still had it on heavy rotation though). Now that I’m 21, I’ve had so many wild experiences and growth. I can relate to the album a lot more. Whether it’s the love you feel for a soulmate that you’ll feel even if you grow apart (Here is Home), or the feeling of freedom and the need for something more than you have in the moment (New Constellations), it’s helped me appreciate the album even more than I already do.

5. I love music so much because of how versatile it is in the sense that you can have music that you’ll play to get immersed in or music that you play while you’re studying. It can help me escape as well as help me stay focused.

Tate (twitter: @octatate)

1. My favorite song from The Fool is definitely “Promises”. I think all of Ryn’s lyrics are excellent but there’s something so compelling about the lyrics in that song to me. Also, the chorus is fun to scream along to.

2. Being a “fool,” to me means putting up with bullshit from those around you because you care about them, and letting people tell you what you are and what you will be. My entire life I've had people in my life that have tried to bring me down and stand in my way, and for a while, I put up with it. I didn't want to upset anyone, so I just kept my head down and kept moving. In recent years, especially this year. I’ve realized that I need to STOP being a “fool” and stand up for myself and now I’m making a conscious effort to do so.

3. My favorite memories of Ryn are probably the ones of the conversations my friends and I had with her in our twitter group chat, Taco Bell Vigil. She used to come in and talk to us about Björk and stuff and she was always so sweet and down to earth. It felt like she was actually one of our friends just having a casual conversation with us.

4. I think my perception of The Fool has changed in the sense that my favorite track has changed constantly throughout my time being a fan of her. For a while, it was “Stay Low,” then it was “Pierre,” then it was the title track, then it was “New Constellations,” and now it’s “Promises.” I think I definitely connect to “New Constellations” the most now though, especially the “What if there’s more?” part in the outro. I'm going off to college soon, and lately I've just been thinking about what more the world has to offer me, and where I'll end up. I've lived in the suburbs my entire life, and I want to know if there’s anything more I can do to make the most of my time left in my hometown, and what more the world holds for me wherever I end up going for college.

5. Music is basically the only thing that consistently brings me happiness in life. It’s a constant and always will be. If i’m sad, it’s there for me. If i’m angry, it’s there for me. Whenever i need it, it’s there. I know how corny it sounds, but listening to music really has shaped my life for the better. Ryn’s music especially is very important to me, and I'm sure that years from now when i’m a grown man, I’ll enjoy The Fool and “Reasons Not to Die” just as much as I do now.

Antonio Múnera (ig: @artangelszs)

1. New Constellations have always resonated with me deeply, especially at this exact moment, since I just graduated high school! The music that I like the best always provides some sort of catharsis, and to me, this song is the epitome of that sensation. Every time I listen to it it’s like all of my negative feelings and thoughts are purified. Of course this doesn’t actually happen, but for those 4-5 minutes, I can almost feel all of my problems disappearing. I find solace in every lyric in the song, but particularly in Ryn’s final inquiry, “What if there’s more?” Songs like this are what keeps me searching for that “more” in my life!

2. To me, being a fool specifically comes with some sort of awareness. Even Ryn herself admits that she’s a fool in the chorus of the title track; it’s both a tragic yet solemn way of describing oneself. It’s being conscious about one’s own self destructive behavior, while simultaneously trying to improve as a person. I’m eternally grateful for people like Ryn that share their stories so people like me, another fool, don’t feel so alone in this behemoth of a world.

3. Initially, my favorite memories of Ryn was when she replied to a few of my tweets. However, talking to her twice on instagram live and being able to read my own poetry to her was genuinely one of the most invigorating moments of my life. She even called me a “little poet” once I finished reciting one of my poems :,) But I think the best moment was when she called me “Colombian daddy”. Now THAT brought a tear to my eye.

4. I was in eighth grade when The Fool came out, so naturally, my first listen of it was a bit cursory, for I didn’t really focus on lyrics back then. However, once I actually focused on what Ryn had to say with her album, it became a whole different work of art. This is also because as I grew older, my anxiety and depression just got exponentially worse, and though depression isn’t really a theme explored in Ryn’s album, it does deal with themes of hurting, acceptance, and an ultimate need for emancipation, which are all topics that resonate with me. While The Fool used to be an album that I listened to just to pass the time, now it’s an enlightening experience every time I listen to it, and I can definitely say that it’s going to be one of my favorite albums of all time for the rest of my life!

5. I thought that films were the ultimate source of escapism and happiness, but over the years, I’ve found music to be the most indispensable thing in my life. And that’s not an exaggeration in the slightest. I possibly wouldn’t even still be alive without music like Ryn’s. She is certainly one of my reasons not to die ^-^

Destiny Thomas (ig: @destinyxcx)

1. My favorite song by Ryn is New Constellations, I actually wrote about it in my magazine. There’s a whole page on that song and what the lyric "you can run if you want to" means to me. When I first saw Ryn live on her Misfits tour she would make a speech before New Constellations and inspired me since then to always run from something or someone you're attached to if you're unhappy with it.

3. One of my favorite memories of Ryn was when she was on tour for sure, it was so much fun and of course one of the first times I saw her live and her VIP package on tour was really cool. She's very sweet to her supporters and loves talking to everyone. I'm just really excited for her to come back whenever she's ready to play some shows and release music!!

Nat (twitter: @track1O)

1. My favorite songs from The Fool are Sail On, Here Is Home and New Constellations. I listen to these songs when I’m feeling down because they somehow make me happy, I just feel like Ryn is singing the songs for me and for me only. New Constellations was produced by my favorite producers so this song is very special to me, I love everything about it. Traveling Song is another one I love with my whole heart, I know Ryn wrote this song for her grandpa, this song was already out when my grandpa died, I think I was the saddest person in the world when that happened but listening to it made me feel a little bit better, I messaged Ryn on twitter and thanked her for this song. My favorite lyrics are “soulmates aren’t just lovers, you know?” and all the lyrics from New Constellations.

2. I love being a fool, I’ve never experienced being a fool for anyone but I know I’m a fool in general. I think that’s one of the best things about me.

3. I’ve never meet or seen Ryn live but we used to interact a lot on twitter, my favorite memory is when she came to Mexico to play at a festival but I couldn’t go because it was so far from where I live but me and other friends messaged her and tried to plan a road trip to meet her (it didn’t work but it’s still a good memory lol)

4. I fell in love with her voice and music when I first listened to it, I was so happy when she announced The Fool and I played the album on repeat for months. I can’t wait to listen to her new music in the future.

5. Music is something that makes me the happiest person in the world. I love it so much and that’s the only thing that makes me feel alive. Ryn’s music has helped me a lot. It makes me want to sing, dance, cry, etc. It has helped me during difficult times like when my grandpa died, Reasons Not to Die helped me think about everything in my life when it was released. I just want to thank her for making amazing music, I miss her voice so much so I hope she releases something soon.

Gigi (ig: @misdenlaide)

1. Well I love pretty much all the album, but a song that stand out the most to me is New Constellations. There a lot of heartbreak songs out there, from the person that's been left perspective, but not so many from the person who leaves. I've been in that situation and the way she put it into words was extremely smart.

2. To be blind. As an example, you know the reality of a situation, but it is not the one you want, so you fool yourself and you just try to make it happen the way you want it to happen... when it won't. Or when you just don't see stuff because of that same reason. I don't know if I made myself clear... you see roses and technicolor when you know you are being a fool with someone else. “Old dog, new treat”.

3) Well I haven't met her in real life (yet), but I remember the songs of the album being there in different situations of my life. I can relate to them a lot, so whenever I was in a similar situation, I just felt like they got me.

4. YES, since The Fool came out I connected to it a lot. Because of old relationships and stuff, where I've been the fool, when I wanted to look for new constellations, when I never meant to break my own promises, and the perspective changed a lot as I was living the same things the songs talked about. For example, New Constellations. I thought it was kind of a love song and then I realized it was a song from someone who leaves another. Crazy, but it happened, and it just made me appreciate her music more.

5. Music has a big impact in my life, so much I want to dedicate the rest of it to music (I am studying musical production now). I met friends because of it, cried tears of joy and sadness. It makes me calm and makes my heart beat faster... I believe that music is my true love in life. It’s something I struggle to put into words. It’s my fuel. My reason to be here, essentially.

Andie (twitter: @andrewdxrling)

1. My favourite lyric would be “My wings too wild to clip and cage around me” (I mean, it IS tattooed on my bicep!). It means a lot to me because it’s a reminder that I can’t let anyone try and use my own mind and heart against me or to try and quiet me. And since it’s on my bicep in Ryn’s handwriting, it’s like a constant reminder from her to always spread my wings and be my authentic self.

2. To me, being a fool means accepting all the aspects of yourself. The crazy and wild ones, the fucked up ones, the messy ones, and the good ones. It means letting yourself be the entirety of who you are.

3. My favourite memory would be during her second tour when I saw her in LA! I had seen her a couple times on the first tour in the north, but then I moved! When I saw her in LA, she remembered me, and talked with me and it was such a nice feeling to know someone I hold very dear to my heart can spend the time to recognise and acknowledge me

Anyjah (twitter: @ANyjahh_)

1. Literally the entire album is one I hold so close to my heart. There’s about three lyrics from three different songs that come to mind as a favorite. The first is “sail on”. It’s such a short phrase but the song is literally one of my favorites still on repeat to this day. Every time I think about the phrase it reminds me of being somewhere deep in the middle of the ocean without any worries, sailing on.

The second would be “Child of Neptune I’m the daughter of the Sun” from New Constellations. That is such a powerful lyric to me. When I think about that it boosts my self-esteem. Like imagine telling someone you’re the daughter of the sun. So powerful.

The third and last is “even if you stay or if you go” from Here Is Home. I got that tattooed on my collarbone. That song brings me such peace. People come and go. It reminds me of that saying if you love something or someone, and you set it free, and they come back, then it’s meant to be.

2. For me, being a fool means to be naive or played, but people have made it sound so negative and condescending. We’re all fools at one point. I think it’s like a learning experience while you’re young. It’s not all bad.

3. I honestly loved when she released Reasons Not To Die to the world. Not only did she get to see that I loved that song because she talked about being afraid of releasing music, but I feel like it was such an empowering moment for her in her life and I was so in awe.

4. For me, I see The Fool as a growing experience, and it’s just something that brings me back to my very own youth/how I’ve grown myself.

5. Music has helped me to create and feel relatable. I love that no matter what you’re feeling or going through, there’s always a song out there you can listen to and realize someone else may have gone through the same thing as you. Music also helps me to create through writing. I can take the story of a song and turn it into my own that way.

Mariana (twitter: @Marispiva)

1. My favorite song from The Fool is “Traveling Song” because I went through a similar experience as Ryn but with my grandma and that song helped me get out of the deep depression I went through after she passed away.

2. Being a fool to me means learning from your mistakes in order to reach the top of the mountain. Bringing new beginnings into your life and going on a journey, not knowing what to expect. I look at the positive side rather than the negative side.

3. My favorite memory was when I flew to NYC for the Steve Madden show. It was my first time traveling outside of Chicago and I needed to meet her since I wasn’t able to after the Chicago show for the Misfits Toys Tour. Also, tweeting her to get her Big Mac ass outside so I could meet her lmao.

4. I feel like The Fool as a whole is for misfits like me. High school was the hardest part of my life and it wasn’t easy to fit in, especially transferring to a new school twice. People always looked at me differently and never accepted me, so when Ryn released The Fool, I felt a connection and it helped me shape myself as a person. I didn’t care what other people thought about me and always stayed true to myself.

5. Music has helped me in SO many ways! Music is my escape from reality and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for music. It’s the only thing that keeps me mentally stable so it has helped me battle my demons. Music is my therapy.

Jade (twitter: @FoolRyn)

1. My Favorite song from the record is New Constellations. English is only my second language, so when I got the album, and heard it for the first time, I had to look up what Constellations meant. Little did I know, she was singing about my absolute favorite thing in the world. My favorite lyrics have to be the first line of that song. No matter how many times I listen to it, I still close my eyes and imagine living every word. It makes me feel at bliss.

2. To be a Fool is to be a wanderer, not just physically but spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.

3. One of my earliest memories and my favorite ones is interacting with Ryn on twitter and just enjoying memes.

4. For me, her music got better and better with each time listening to them. Even now 5 years later, I find the slightest of things in the production or the range of her voice. It’s absolutely fascinating!

5. Music helped me with a lot of things, from trouble at home to mental wellness. Without music, I wouldn’t even be sure I'd be alive.

That’s all! This project is what you get when a double Aquarius and a Leo moon come together. Thank you to everybody who participated, either through text or video, and thank you to Ryn for gifting us with such beautiful music!

#BLM Petition Links:

https://signatures.carrd.com

https://blacklivesmatter.com/petitions/

https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Books about Race:

https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/race

#ryn weaver #the fool #interview #dizzy stargazers #maria kornacki #malcolm macmaster #chris bayer #chase gray

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phandomsecretvalentines · 6 years

Text

(darling don't be afraid) i will love you

Happy late-vday-early-bday @ryn-exe (can’t tag?)!!! Hope u enjoy, soz if it’s not good but i’m not so amazing(phil)

This is 2.1k words. There’s a bit of dream-violence (not in detail) and a lot of anxiety and fear so if u don’t like that stuff!! Tell me!!!! And i’ll write something else for you, i don’t mind. (You didn’t say anything i wasn’t supposed to write but idk). I’d describe this as hurt/comfort i think lmaooo

Basic summery i wrote fo myself: Dan and Phil, and how they deal with each other’s 3am fears (2009 vs 2018, now)

From a pitch-hitter 💓💓

——

[Saturday; 10.26.09; 03:37]

——

Dan<33 (03:37): phil? :[

Phil (03:45): Yrha

Phil (03:47): Sorry!! Yeah**

Phil (03:47): Why are you up so early/late?? I barely woke up

Dan<33 (03:49): sorry i woke you :/

Dan<33 (03:50): my parents went away for a bit and i’m home alone and i cant turn off the lights cuz im too scared

Dan<33 (03:51): and i can’t sleep so bad even hugging pillow cant help mee :[[

Dan<33 (03:52): so im sitting in the hallway with every light im the house on alone in just my pants

Dan<33 (03:52): and i was a idiot and missed you so i woke you up at so late and now ur gonna hate me crap

Dan<33 (03:52): sorry

Phil (03:53): I’ll never ever hate you dan!!! <<33333333333333

Phil (03:53): I’m sorry ur so scared :[[ I wish I was there to be strong and protect u again

Dan<33 (03:54): i wish you were here too

Phil (03:54): :[ <3

Dan<33 (03:58): CDAP PHIL I THINK I HESRF A GHOST

Dan<33 (03:58): IR MONSTER

Dan<33 (03:58): FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Phil (03:59): Dan oh my gosh are you okay??

Dan<33 (04:00): yeah i think but

Dan<33 (04:00): i heard something phil

Dan<33 (04:01): im scared

Dan<33 (04:02): i can’t believe im 18 and i’m actually sobbing out of fear alone and naked in a hallway over a fucking noise

Dan<33 (04:02): to my boyfriend

Dan<33 (04:02): on skype

Dan<33 (04:03): fuck

Phil (04:03): Dan :[[ i’m so sorry

Dan<33 (04:04): it’s not your fault

Phil (04:04): Want me to call you??? (If u want)

Dan<33 (04:05): can we skype instead?

Dan<33 (04:05): i want to see your face plz <3

Dan<33 (04:05): if thats okay

Phil (04:06): That’s fine! One sec plz :]

——

[Phil would like to add Dan<33 to a call (02:33)]

[Accept] [Decline]

[Accepted]

——

When Dan answered the call, his face was red and puffed and wet. Even through the crap-pixel screen quality, Phil could see that.

“Hey,” Dan’s voice broke.

“Hi,”

Dan was shaking slightly.

His face suddenly flushed, “Oh shit, I forgot – I’m, uh, in only pants. In front of you. Crap.”

“It’s fine, I’ve seen you shirtless before.” Phil smiled what he hoped was reassuringly, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah — I mean, I am now. I guess.”

“Are you cold?”

“Kinda.” Dan admitted.

“Want to go to bed?”

“My room is too dark –”

“Well, I’ll be there, wont I? And I’ll protect you from everything bad in the dark.”

“You’re not really here.”

“Only ever a few hours away. And if worst comes to worst, I have the police line and the monster-killer line. So you’ll be super safe.”

Dan muffled a giggle, “Yeah, okay.”

He shuffled up off the floor, and made his way into his bedroom, clutching the laptop tightly.

“I dunno if I’m getting any sleep tonight, honestly.”

“You will! You can cuddle your pillow and I’ll tell you stories until the demons go away and you can sleep.”

“I’m not five, Phil.” There was no malice in his reply.

“You don’t need to be five for any of that to be true.” Phil said, serious tone.

“Okay,”

Minutes later, Dan was snuggled under his covers; hugging a pillow tightly as he listened to Phil go on about some guy at the market.

“Then, he pulled a hot dog out of his left pocket. Who keeps a single —”

“Phil?” Dan interrupted, his voice was dripping with sleep.

“Mm?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No.” Phil answered simply.

“I mean – for being so scared of such dumb stuff. Seven-year-olds are braver than me.”

“It’s okay to have fears, Dan. I bet you’re not the only adult with those fears either,”

“I’m scared of the dark. And ghosts and monsters and moths and demons and –”

“– and that’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“And it’s not annoying to deal with? I’m not?”

“You will never be annoying to ‘deal with’; I promise.”

Phil meant it.

——

[Monday; 12.07.09; 02:59]

——

Phil :]]]<333333 (02:59): Dan?

Dan (03:00): yeah??? <3

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:03): I’m scared

Dan (03:04): of what :[[

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:04): I dunno it’s just creaky downstairs and I’m alone for the night I guess

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:04): Nvm

Dan (03:05): no tell me i want to help u

Dan (03:05): plz

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:07): Well it’s just that

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:08): It’s really dark and windy

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:08): And there was a tree snapping against my window I thought our house might’ve blown down

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:09): And I thought i heard thunder which usually isn'tn too bad but right now its scaring me a bit

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): I don’t wanna be alone rn is all

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): But i am brave! So it’ll be okay i think

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:10): Don’t worry about me <33

Dan (03:11): i want to worry :[

Dan (03:11): you don’t always have to be brave <333 ily and i would give you the biggest hug if i were there

Dan (03:12): and tell the trees and thnder to fuck off and let you sleep

Dan (03:12): and then we would sleep all cuddled up togerher like we do sometimes and it would be warm and nice

Dan (03:14): i wish i were there with you

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:15): You will be someday so it’s okay now too :]

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:15): But plz tell the trees and thunder to fuck off it’s very loud :’[[[

Dan (03:16): if u call me i will????

Phil :]]]<333333 (03:17): Lol okay :p

——

[Incoming call from Dan]

[Accepted]

——

“Hi!” Dan really should be quieter; last time he called Phil at three in the morning his dad had yelled at him.

“Hi,” Phil’s sleep-laced voice answered.

A booming crack of thunder, and a whimper.

“Don’t worry – it… won’t hurt you.” Despite everything, Dan was sometimes still quite new to the role of 'comfort’ in their relationship.

“I know, just loud.”

Dan wished he was like Phil. He wished he could just pull out an intresting story, a funny idea.

“Sorry.”

He wasn’t like Phil, though.

“Want to play a game?”

“What game could we possibly play through a phone call?” Dan could practically hear Phil rolling his eyes.

Dan wracked his brain for quick ideas.

“Eye-Spy?”

“We’re… not in the same room Dan.”

“Yeah, true.”

Dan’s room suddenly felt rather empty and uninteresting.

Dan felt empty and uninteresting.

“What do you want me to do?” He finally muttered.

He held his breath.

“I just like hearing your voice, it calms me down. I like when you rant about things you love.”

Let it out.

“Oh. Well – want to hear my never-ending thoughts on WALL-E then?”

“Definitely.”

——

[Sunday; 02.04.18; 04:12]

——

“Phil?”

“Mhm?” He rolled over and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, “What’re you doing up?”

“There was a moth.”

“A moth?”

“Yes!” Dan looked around the room nervously, rolling on his heels, “It’s in the lounge somewhere and I can’t sleep knowing it’s out there — lurking.”

Phil groaned.

“Fucking kill it! Or set it free, I dunno. I just need it gone.”

“You are truly the perfect mix of 'needy child’ and 'angry businessman’, Danny.”

“Fuck off.”

“Mm, lemme get a cup then.”

Phil shoved on his glasses and stumbled out of bed into the kitchen, Dan following closely behind.

“Where was it again?” He asked, grabbing a wine glass from the cupboard.

They hadn’t really drank much alcohol these past few years– since Dan had gone on antidepressents— but they still always kept the glasses, to drink Ribena and seem fancy.

“No! You’ll need a bigger cup, it’s huge.” He whined.

“Okay,” he grabbed another glass, “where is it?”

“In the lounge last I saw.”

“I’ll go look, you get a piece of paper.”

Genuine terror painted over Dan’s face, “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Christ’s sake Dan, it’s a moth, not an armed burglar. I think you’ll live.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. Now, just go a minute.”

He then ventured into the lounge, still half-drowned by sleep, when he heard a shriek.

“Dan?”

“Phil! Fucking help!”

Anyone else might’ve thought Dan was being held at gunpoint from the panicked way he was yelling.

“Coming!”

He went into the hall; Dan was standing there, paralysed with fear, as a giant moth flew circles around him. He had tears threatening to fall.

“Oh dear,”

Phil went over to the closet and grabbed a broom, spent a few go’s waving it around– and almost hitting Dan in the process— before smacking it head on.

“Aw, now I feel bad for killing it,” He whispered.

Dan was on the floor now, shaking, tears stained down his cheeks. He was in only pants.

And Phil was there.

“Well, the moth’s gone now isn’t it?” He crouched down next to Dan, putting his hands gently on his shoulders.

“Mmm,” Dan had his head tucked in his knees.

“Are you okay?”

Silence.

“That’s fine. Want me to make you some tea?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

A few minutes later, in the kitchen, with dried cheeks; “I can’t believe how much of a wimp I am.”

The kettle rang, and Phil took it off the stove carefully.

“No —”

“I know, I know, my therapist told me. 'It’s never weak to have fears’. But I cried over a fucking moth. In our hallway. It’s late and –”

“– and that’s okay.”

“It’s not okay Phil!”

“It’s fine in the moment, that’s what I mean.”

He grabbed a NASA mug, and poured the boiling water in a teapot.

“I must be exhausting.”

Phil dropped in a teabag.

He still remembered. It was a promise made at 4am; a promise over Skype to a more-than-slightly-terrified eighteen year old.

A promise made to a bunch of pixel’s with a name and a face and fear.

A promise his Dan probably didn’t even remember, honestly.

“No, I promised that much.”

“Mhm,”

He poured the tea.

“So, two sugars or three?”

“Two.”

——

[Friday; 02.16.18; 05:12]

——

Dan was on the sofa; snuggled up in blankets and watching the winter Olympics through his small Iphone screen. His eyes were heavy, he yawned.

Their bedroom door squeaked opened.

“Hey,” Phil spoke quietly.

“Up so late?”

“You’re up too.”

“Well — I’m watching the Olympics. You know it’s on late in the UK.”

“Alright.” Phil shuffled into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and leaving the cupboard door wide open.

“Why are you awake?”

“Just another nightmare, s'fine.”

“Then why did you come out here?”

His voice might’ve been read as upset – he was just tired. Half the time Dan honestly didn’t mean to come off so rude.

“Dunno,”

“What was it about?”

“Uh — I think my family was trapped, you included, and I was the only person who could save them. But I had to do something… I think, I had to open a lock to somewhere? But I was too nervous. I saw everyone die; I knew it was my fault. I saw – you know, blood. Not too much. But it’s fine.”

As he spoke, he went over to the sink and got a glass of water, adding iced-cubes; his tone was unnaturally cool and casual.

“But I heard your skull shatter –”

“What the fuck —”

“Sorry! You asked though.”

“No – I mean, that’s horrible. Jesus christ, are you okay?”

Phil shrugged, “It happens, it’s okay though. Just a dream.”

It was only at that moment Dan noticed Phil’s eyes were a little too redded, his words a little bit shaky.

Phil started back to their room.

“Are you going back to sleep?”

“Probably.” His reply was tired.

“Oh – uh, well, why don’t you stay with me and watch the Olympics? I know you’ve never really cared, not your thing, but still I think that —”

“Sure! I’ll stay, yeah.” Phil quickly answered.

“Okay.”

Phil put his glass of water back down on the counter, and walked over to the sofa. Dan opened up his blanket fort and invited Phil in.

“These are the men’s single runs.”

“Mhm,” Phil nuzzled his head into Dan’s neck, which usually would’ve bothered him, but he didn’t mind so much.

A few minutes pass, “So what’s that guy supposed to be doing? I need your commentary; you know.”

I just like hearing your voice, it calms me down.

“Well, that’s the Japanese lead skater, which means —”

#submission

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greygayghost · 6 years

Text

Review: The Chaos of Standing Still

Author: Jessica Brody

Genre: Young Adult, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, A Dash of Comedy

Rating: 8/10

I seem to have a personality that is especially charming to the “sweet librarian” demographic, as two of my best conversation partners and friends happen to be sweet librarians at two of the libraries in my region, and I tend to leave a good impression on travelling librarians that come through the coffee shop where I work. That being said, one of those librarians likes to ask me for advice on what books to put in the library. Right before I left for New York City in early June, said librarian handed me The Chaos of Standing Still and asked for my thoughts. Well, a month later I can finally say what I think of this book (and right before I have to turn it in after renewing it like six times, sorry.).

The Chaos of Standing Still is a young adult, (cishet) romance that follows Ryn, a girl shaken by the sudden, gruesome death of her free-spirit best friend Lottie in a freak car accident with a drunk driver. Her parents are divorced, but that doesn’t bother her much. To quote her, it “wasn’t messy”. After visiting her father in Atlanta, Ryn takes a flight to go back to her mother in San Francisco but is stuck on an overnight layover at the Denver Airport due to a raging snowstorm. Oh yeah, and this trip is on New Year’s Eve. There are so many details happening in this book, it’s hard to tell what’s important information to remember sometimes. I guess that’s life, though. I have a hard time remembering details from my own day-to-day, let alone Ryn’s. Ryn has so many things going on as well, it’s hard to remember it all. She has survivor’s guilt because she wasn’t there for the crash that killed her best friend. She hallucinates Lottie’s voice in her head and has kept the last text Lottie sent to her before her death for the last year in hopes of that keeping her alive somehow. She obsessive-compulsively types random questions into Google on her phone because she likes knowing all the answers to make up for the answers she doesn’t have about Lottie.

During this night-long journey, Ryn meets a cast of colorful characters. There’s Troy, a fourteen-year-old child prodigy who’s working on his masters’ at Stanford while trying to solve an Illuminati conspiracy surrounding the Denver Airport. Then we have Siri, a disgruntled McDonalds’ worker and her coworker/friend Jimmy, a funny, casual, husky guy. There are also recurring extras like the on-again-off-again couple seen either dramatically fighting or making out around the airport and a beautiful flight attendant who looks scarily like Ryn’s dead best friend Lottie and her lover (a married businessman).

These are the significant ones, but the most important of the airport stranger cast is Xander, the hilarious, fun, lighthearted, mischevious and surprisingly loyal and helpful boy Ryn meets by colliding with him on a moving walkway. Their whole relationship is half self-indulgent, half-annoyingly meet-cute, as they both end up having the same Doctor Who phone case and swap phones in the shuffle of the collision, resulting in the two having to meet up again. They bond over dinner and a series of funny antics that made me want to keep reading until the very end and gave me some ideas on how to have a good time if I’m ever stuck in an airport (train surfing, stranded passenger bingo, etc.). Xander tries to pull Ryn out of her shell, much like Lottie tried to for her whole life. Their relationship is kind of a roller coaster ride as they’re both emotional beans for their own reasons, but it works. Their relationship was wonderfully swoony, and Xander on his own was my favorite character because he was comic relief with just the right amount of dimension. He was solid and I looked forward to every scene he was in.

The Chaos of Standing Still, when writing about it in a review, is hard to put concisely. It’s convoluted and messy but also organized and detailed. It’s a good read for anyone who enjoys fluff, angst, swoony romance, and honest portrayals of mental illness. Brody does a great job portraying survivor’s guilt, post-traumatic stress, and loss, and Ryn’s journey is one that we all take at one point or another in our lives, the journey of finding ourselves again after putting our identities in someone else, the journey of finding order in chaos, in finding order in moving forward, and the journey of accepting that you may never find the answers you seek, whether it be they don’t exist, they died with someone who has them, or you have to live your way into them.

#the chaos of standing still #jessica brody #greyreviews #book review #books #books and libraries #young adult #romance #young adult romance #ryn #xander #grey

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kimmyiewrites · 4 years

Text

Wasted ~ Chpt 8

Catch Up Masterlist

They had stayed in bed most of the morning, wrapped in each other's arms. They didn't want to leave their small cocoon. In there they didn't have to face reality or how quiet the apartment was without Mary being there. The world didn't seem to want to let them though. Both their phones practically rang at the same time. Frank had a customer calling about an issue on their boat and Ryn had to deal with her frantic manager. So they begrudgingly got out of bed, got ready for the day, and shared a kiss before they went their separate ways.

It was night time and Frank was still working on a leaky water pump issue. It wasn't the boat that he had been called about but by the time he got down to the marina, he had a few other leave requests for him. A call to Ryn later and a promise she'd be tied up all day as well and he set to work. She had brought him lunch though, which he was grateful for because he hadn't had the chance to leave.

As he was trying to figure out how to get to the water pump he heard footsteps on the ladder. "Is this a normal thing? Cause if I'm gonna have to do this housewife thing, I'd rather just turn around and give you dinner at the table." Ryn said, joking a bit as she held up the brown paper bag she had brought.

"I didn't realize how late it had gotten, I'm sorry. And you know I'd never expect that from you." He gave her a small smile before getting back to work. He had a lot of time by himself today which meant he had a lot of time to think, especially about his regrets. He knew they both had said the words they had been scared to say before, especially him but the fact that he couldn't tell Mary, right away killed him.

"I know." She smiled as she sat down on the seat at the back of the boat. "It's peanut butter this time, by the way, whenever you're ready."

He nodded, wondering once more how he got so incredibly lucky. "You know, I don't know which mistake is worse. Designing a water pump that leaks or putting it somewhere no human being can reach."

Before Ryn could offer up any help, he managed to get it out and stand. "How do you design something you know is gonna fail?" She tried to reply once more but it seemed like it was best to just let him talk through whatever was on his mind.

"Gotta be devious or clueless, right?" He continued as he set the faulty pump to the side and grabbed the new one he was going to install.

As he got back down to work, he began expressing what was really bothering him. "After the first few weeks, I knew I had to find a real family for her. Then again you know this already. But then every time I'd say "today's the day, I'm taking her to child services," she'd do something just so unbelievably cool. Then to watch you with her and how she just lit up when you walked into the room. So I wound up keeping her. Not that that's in her best interest. Not that I'm capable of raising a child. A child that might still have a mother if I had taken the time to notice that she needed me."

That's when Ryn finally stepped in. She had been walking towards him the moment she knew where his rant was going. She placed a hand on his shoulder but he just kept working. "Hey, look at me."

He finished the installment before turning to look at her. He wasn't entirely sure if he would be able to take the warmth that usually showed in her big, brown eyes when they looked at each other. He wanted nothing more than to wallow about how he had finally gotten Mary to a foster family and it was the total opposite of how he always imagined it in the beginning.

"We all could have paid more attention to Diane. But we can't play that what if game or we both could spiral down to a place that won't be helpful for Mary. Sure the outcome of all of this wasn't a fairytale ending but no matter what some crockety old judge thinks, hell no matter what your wicked witch of a mother thinks, you are the best thing for Mary. You have raised a funny, beautiful, and brilliant young girl who is going to take the world by storm one day. So while we have to do these visitations, she's just going to get all of the love she's not getting from you the rest of the month. Meanwhile it seems like the marina is keeping you plenty busy and when it doesn't I've got plenty you can help me with too." She smiled.

Frank sighed before chuckling a bit. "Why don't you ever let me fully wallow?"

"Because wallowing isn't a good look for you, darling." She kissed his cheek before standing. "Now come eat so we can go home."

Before she turned around to sit back down, Frank wrapped his arms around her middle from behind, placing a kiss to her neck. "I love you."

She smiled as she leaned back into him. She could really get used to this. "I love you, too."

By the time they were allowed to visit Mary rolled around, both Frank and Ryn were excited. They couldn't wait to tell the spunky seven year old that Ryn had moved in and would be staying. Ryn was still looking for a good studio spot and she was contemplating looking in Tampa so Mary could come see her whenever she wanted. Besides, Tampa was a larger city than the small town Frank had moved to. Her original studio was taken over by another local artist that Ryn worked closely with but the gallery remained the same, a mixture of Ryn and other artist's works run by her manager. They had switched to virtual classes for those who didn't want to switch teachers and that also allowed for Ryn to take a little more extra time to find the perfect location.

The husband was the one who answered the door. When he stepped out onto the porch without letting either one of them in, Ryn grew worried. Something wasn't right. "We're having a little bit of a problem in there." He said.

"What?" Frank asked,worry was now eating at him. Was Mary alright?

"Uh, Mary's fine, but she's having a little bit of a meltdown." He answered.

Frank nodded. He figured this wouldn't be easy. It was why he had gotten her a small present and ping pong balls for Fred. "Right. Let me talk to her." He offered, moving towards the door.

"No, hang on." The husband nudged him back to where he was standing next to Ryn. "That's not a good idea. Your visit here is the reason for the meltdown."

"Well, then let me talk to her." Ryn piped up. "She thinks I left for Boston the last time I saw her so it'll be a nice surprise."

"I still don't think that's a good idea. She just doesn't want to see Frank and if I let you guys in then I'm betraying her trust and that's a whole other issue. She just needs time to adjust. I'm sorry, really."

Frank sighed and shoved the gifts towards the husband before dragging Ryn along. The artist was about to get fiesty and he didn't want to cause a scene. If Mary needed time then that's what he was going to give her.

"Let me sneak around back. There was nothing but windows back there. You know I could get her to loosen up." She said as they walked back to his truck.

"Mary doesn't want to see me. Really, I shouldn't be surprised after I left her here but I also would rather not have the cops called on us." Frank said.

Ryn let out a huff as she climbed into the truck. "Fine, but you know I could have easily talked my way out of it." She was not happy and honestly neither was he but there was nothing more that he could do.

#frank adler fic #frank adler imagine #gifted fic #frank adler #wasted #frank x ryn #kim writes things #this is my queue song

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kimmyiewrites · 4 years

Text

Wasted ~ Chpt 5

Catch Up Masterlist

AN: So this is the half way mark for this fic! I hope you’ve enjoyed it so far and I can’t wait to see what you think. Much love!

Ryn had forgotten all about Diane’s first boyfriend. Once he was mentioned during Evelyn’s testimony all the memories from that time came flooding back. She and Frank were 19 when Diane was 17. Of course the younger girl was taking far more advanced math classes than the two college attending friends.

She smiled fondly at the memory of Diane calling to gush about the boy she had a crush on. Frank and Ryn were home on winter break when the Vermont incident happened. Of course the pair knew what Diane was going to do, even encouraged it.

A year later, Diane did in fact thank Evelyn for doing what she did. Ryn had just been broken up with by her boyfriend. The younger woman had walked into her brother’s room to see why she heard someone crying. Ryn had been in Frank’s arms, sobbing into his chest as he rocked her. Frank waved his sister over, grateful for any help he could get to console his best friend. Soon the younger Adler was telling the woman who had become so much like a sister to her that the boy who broke her heart was stupid. When Frank drove Ryn back home, Diane had sought out Evelyn and thanked her for saving her from that kind of heartbreak.

After Evelyn’s testimony, Ryn had high hopes for the case and it seemed Frank did as well. For dinner that night, Frank, Ryn, Roberta, and Mary went out to the local bar. Ever since they hashed some things out, Frank and Ryn stopped tiptoeing around each other. She had yet to join him in bed but he would gladly take the cuddling while they were watching TV.

This of course made Mary very happy but she still wanted to make sure that Ryn would stay after all of this was over. When Mary had brought her dilema to Roberta, the older woman easily agreed to help. She too had noticed the shift between the two. While she loved the young girl like her own, she’d much prefer Mary to have a more stable mother figure in her life. That would also mean getting Frank to stop hiding away. So they decided that the two just needed to spend time together and then they would realize that no one had to go anywhere.

Mary started their plan by making a big deal about who she wanted to sit next to. She began by going over the pros and cons of each before finally deciding she would sit between Ryn and Roberta. Instead of just switching seats with Roberta, Mary took the empty chair and dragged it over so Ryn could sit closer to Frank.

“She’s really got quite the personality, doesn’t she?” Ryn leaned over and whispered to Frank.

He chuckled and nodded. “Oh you have no idea.”

Mary and Roberta smiled at the small interaction.

After they had finished their meal, the three adults watched as Mary helped a waitress fill the center pieces. “You know, it’s been awhile since Mary’s slept over, why don’t I take her home? Give you two some actual time to catch up?” Roberta mentioned, going into phase two of their plan for the evening.

“Oh, Roberta, you don’t have to. We’re fine, really.” Frank tried to decline.

“This isn’t because of the Bonnie thing is it?”

Ryn turned to Frank and raised an eyebrow. “Bonnie thing?”

Frank sighed and gave Roberta a now look what you’ve done look. “Roberta watches Mary on Friday nights so I can have some alone time. Sometimes that involves bringing a girl back to the apartment. Mary came over in search of a movie when Bonnie was leaving.”

“Bonnie? As in Mary’s teacher, Bonnie?”

Frank nodded, not really liking the slight judging look coming from Ryn. “It wasn’t one of my best moments.”

Ryn then stood, something neither of them were expecting. “Excuse me.” She said before heading outside.

Mary had noticed and hurried over with concern written all over her face. “Is Aunt Ryn okay?”

Frank sighed and nodded. “Yeah, she is. Inspiration must have struck.” He didn’t like that he lied to her but he really didn’t know the answer himself. “How’d you like to spend the night with Roberta?”

Mary grinned. “Yeah!”

Frank kissed Mary on the head as he stood. “Then we’ll see you tomorrow. I’m gonna go check on Aunt Ryn.”

She gave him a quick hug before he went out to his truck, which is where he assumed Ryn would be. Roberta and Mary high fived before gathering their things.

“So, what happened back there?” Frank asked as he approached Ryn. She was leaning against the bed of his truck, holding herself up by gripping the side.

Ryn sighed and looked over at her best friend. “We had one rule, Frank and the first night I was here you tried to break it.”

His brows furrowed in confusion before he realized what rule she was referencing. “It was just a drunken one night stand. I’m not seeing anyone.”

She didn’t believe him. It was written all over her face. “Then why is she around so much?” The curly haired school teacher either stopped by to see how the trial was going, called for an update, or watched Mary when Roberta couldn’t. Not to mention she had been at the courthouse that day.

“Because she’s a friend and cares about Mary even if she kick started this whole mess.”

“Wait, she’s the reason Evelyn is fighting for custody?”

Frank nodded. “She was doing what she thought was right as an educator. She’s already apologized.”

“And you’re sure there’s nothing going on?”

Frank sighed, and leaned against the truck, next to her. “Yes, I’m sure nothing is going on. We decided it would be too weird with her being Mary’s teacher and all. Now get in the truck. Roberta’s on Mary duty.”

Once they got back to Frank’s apartment, they changed into pajamas and settled in on the couch to catch up on one of the shows they watched but Mary wasn’t allowed to see. When the episode finished, Frank went into the kitchen to get them something to drink. Ryn went over to the crate of cds. She grinned seeing the album that played as the soundtrack to most of their friendship.

She soon put it into the stereo and began to dance around the living room. Frank returned after hearing the opening chords. Before he could even get a word in, Ryn grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her to join in the dancing.

As soon as he started dancing, Ryn let go. They spun around each other, jumped as they sang along at the tops of their lungs, and shimmied about. Soon the upbeat melodies turned to a slow ballad. Frank took Ryn’s hand this time, spinning her into his arms. She looked up at him with wide eyes but he just smiled down at her as they swayed together.

Ryn shuffled closer as the song continued to play until she rested her head against his shoulder. At the feel of his cheek against her head, she closed her eyes, a small smile playing at her lips. “I missed you so much.” She whispered.

“I missed you too, Ryn. I’m sorry I was such an idiot.”

She squeezed his hand before pulling back just enough to look up at him. “You’re off the hook.”

“Oh, thank god.” He grinned down at her. “I was wondering how much longer I was going to have to grovel.”

She rolled her eyes, pulling away as the song had ended. “I’m not that mean.”

Frank chuckled, trying not to focus on how much he missed having her in his arms. “I don’t know, I’m pretty sure some students of yours might disagree.”

She gasped, placing a hand over her heart. “You helped defend me against those students.”

He nodded, smirking. “I sure did and you still wound up creating your own studio.”

“I would much rather have a choice in my students instead of having frat boys take my intro class because they think they can get me in their bed.”

Once more he nodded, not really able to argue with that especially since he always hated when he would stop by her classroom and see a group of boys essentially throwing themselves at her. “I did always enjoy crushing their dreams when I would come to visit.” He chuckled at the memories of laying a passionate kiss on her right in front of them.

Ryn laughed, shaking her head as she walked into his bedroom to get ready for bed. When she came out of the bathroom, Frank was already in bed. She kept looking at the door and his bed, trying to decide what to do.

“Just because you stay in here with me doesn’t mean we have to do anything. We’ve shared a bed plenty of times before and just slept.” He spoke up, not even looking up from the book he was reading.

“Won’t it hurt more, though?” She asked, voice soft.

That made him look up. “What do you mean?”

Ryn took a deep breath. “If I get into that bed with you, I’m afraid things will truly begin to feel like they did before and it’s going to make saying goodbye at the end of this even harder.”

Frank sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It could, yeah, but either way, saying goodbye to you is going to be hard. Even if I’m going to be sure to call you more or bring Mary for a visit. I’ve been thinking about holding you in my arms while we sleep the moment you stepped into this apartment. I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. So if you’d rather sleep with Fred, feel free but the right side of my bed is always open for you.”

She bit her lip and nodded, fully planning on walking out to Mary’s bed. As she got to the door, she turned to wish him a good night. Their eyes locked, he had been watching her leave, and all her resolve broke. “Fred deserves the whole bed for the evening.” She said as she climbed into bed.

She snuggled down into the covers, turning her back to the light. “Good night, Frank.”

He just smiled, taking the sight of her beside him in, before turning back to his book. “Good night, Ryn.”

#frank adler fic #frank adler imagine #gifted fic #frank adler #wasted #frank x ryn #kim writes things #this is my queue song

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