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falsegoodnight · 3 years

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these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, podfics, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with *.

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 25th and any fics read after will be included in next month’s fic rec list because otherwise this is going to be obnoxiously long.

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main list ~

✰ black cherries and chocolate by @harryanthus | NR | 666 (intense and jarring in the best way. this leaves you with that heart-racing feeling and panic crawling up your throat)

There is something or well, someone in the walls.

✰ keep secrets just to keep you by @hadestyles | T | 1k (loved this so much!! and need 1000000 more royalty abos from rori immediately)

“With the elements as my witness, I take you to be my husband. My heartbeat begins with you and ends with you, Louis Tomlinson.” Louis sinks to his knees as well, salty tears mixing with the pure rainwater. “And I take you as mine. My heart beats for you and with you.”

✰ bitter coffee and sweet love by @dontfuckwithmyotp | G | 1k (so cute and sweet!! proud of you ari for getting your first fic out and excited to see what you do next!)

“Hello! Welcome to The Busy Bean! Are you new?” Louis blinked in surprise at the voice and looked around to find the source. “Behind you,” The person tapped his shoulder once and he whirled around at the unexpected touch.

“Hey! Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to interrupt a person—” His rant stopped when he finally faced them. It was a guy—Harry Styles, according to his small black name tag. His eyes widened in embarrassment.

✰ turn your mic off, baby by @vogueharrystan | E | 2k (i love when lilli writes harry’s pov. this was so hot!)

Louis walks around the house naked all day and ignores Harry to play video games instead. Harry gets tired of it.

✰ This Could Be Love by mulletharry | G | 2k (such a cute and perfect little valentine’s day fic! put the biggest smile on my face <3)

Harry and Louis have been together for four months. They spend their first Valentine’s Day together.

✰ you appear as my soul by @hadestyles | T | 2k (so gorgeous and raw)

He aches — not as much as Louis, he could never imagine all that he bears quietly — and as cruel as it sounds, it keeps reminding him of how fragile they are.

✰ the energy from your body by sweetielouis | E | 3k (hilarious, hot, and cute!)

Harry and his friends have a popular podcast, for the Valentines Day special they get a bit drunk and talk a bit too comfortably about their friends arses.

It's a good thing Louis doesn't mind it all that much.

✰ look how i remember by @harryanthus | M | 4k (this left me speechless and aching)

He hates it, he wants to scream and tell Harry as much. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me as if we are in love. Kiss me like you will never do it again. Kiss me with so much hatred that it turns back to love.

✰ Things Unsaid by @londonfoginacup | G | 5k (so so cute and funny!!)

"That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter."

It feels like time slows down.

Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares.

The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again.

The man is gone.

His soulmate is gone.

✰ reckless serenade by @thepolourryexpress | E | 4k (adorable and funny and amazing!)

Harry's Google search history may or may not look like 'my girlfriend doesn't know we're dating.'

✰ dancing in the moonlight by @outropeace | E | 5k (need 100k more of this immediately, thanks. so wonderful)

Louis’ fuck buddy gets a date for Valentine’s day and he discovers that denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

✰ The truth is, the stars are falling by larrysbeanies | E | 5k (hot!!! walking-in trope that i love so much)

Harry knows Louis is gay. Hell, he came out to Harry exactly two months ago (when the dreadful dry spell started) because it was becoming increasingly hard to hide the fact that his one night stands were men. And, you know, they’re best friends so there aren’t supposed to be secrets and all that.

Thing is, Louis told Harry he’s gay ergo, Harry is aware that Louis likes men. Why the fuck did he act so normal while fingering him three days ago, then? Is this something straight guys do to their gay best friends in Harry’s world?

Louis would really like to know.

✰ to be used and to be in love by @thelesserneptune | E | 5k (blessed that this is a series. really hot and cute!)

Louis doesn't know why his filthy best friend turned into a vanilla boyfriend and thinks of the perfect birthday present to solve that problem.

✰ on the borderline by @princelouisau | E | 8k (the way danielle writes... poetry. this broke me down and then stitched me back up <3)

Louis makes his choice.

✰ One Step Closer by agrinwithouthiscat | G | 12k (reading asexual hl fics is instant comfort and this was lovely)

The one fake relationship AU where they don't end up together.

✰ i glow pink in the night by @raspberryoatss | E | 12k (hybrid louis perfection, beautiful writing, characters, and story as always!)

Harry reads a lot of articles about hybrids and Louis is determined to prove them wrong.

✰ The Thinker of Tender Thoughts by @speakingwithink | G | 13k (asexual hl again! this one made me cry)

Louis sits on his hands to stop them from shaking as he adds, ‘and I’m ace.’ If only he had glitter, he thinks. Coming out deserves a bit of sparkle.

✰ Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice by @harriblou | M | 13k (enemies with benefits to lovers goodness! so hot and entertaining)

“You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.”

Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing.

“You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless.

✰ hold onto your stars by vashtaneradas | NR | 16k (this writer’s atmosphere/prose draws me in every time. such a lovely story)

Harry's in the army, Louis' back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.

✰ The Future is Now by @jacaranda-bloom | E | 16k (love fics in this five times format and this one was so unique and cool!! and the friends to lovers aspect = chef’s kiss)

Five times Louis follows the fortunes to seek out his true love, and the one time he realises that what he's been searching for might've been right in front of him the whole time.

✰ Visceral Heat & Carnal Highs by @theisolatedlily | E | 18k (the prose in this... gorgeous. so fucking good and addicting. delighted that there’s going to be a sequel and excited for whatever lily does next!)

Louis is a demon at a house party prowling for a meal, indulging in horrendous sins to satisfy his hunger. Harry is the talk of the night, beckoning all eyes on him and the reason why Louis’s plan goes awry.

✰ deFENCEless by @solvetheminourdreams | T | 27k (this was so cute and so funny and i had the biggest smile on my face the entire time. not surprised since stef always evokes that in me with her writing)

When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).

✰ darling, you give love a bad name by snowcaplou | M | 29k (been waiting for this one since summer and i wasn’t disappointed! so wonderful and real!)

Louis’ has been best friends with Gemma all his life in this stupid little town he’s grown to hate. What happens when, after one night together with his best friend’s brother, he falls pregnant? Surrounded by small minds and conservative cultures, Louis has to deal with parents that demand they do the “right” thing. Get married before anybody finds out.

✰ The Haunting of Louis Tomlinson* by @helloamhere | T | 31k (will never not be an all-time favorite. louis’ character is my absolute favorite - gothic heroine indeed - and harry is the best dramatic gay ghost ever <3)

Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!

✰ begged and borrowed time by @bottomlwt | M | 40k (this concept was so unique and so cool!! loved the medieval setting and the time travel and how everything fit together in the end!!)

“It wasn’t until 1568 that it became time for Prince Harry to find a queen and prepare to rule. However, the day he was set to choose his bride-to-be, he mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again despite the multiple search parties that went on through the years. To this day, historians still do not know what happened with the infamous Prince Styles case..."

✰ Lidocaine and Palm Trees.* by @daddyharrie | E | 45k (definition of ris comfort read - on nth reread and still love it wholly. makes me miss la which is an astonishing feat in itself)

Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.

Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.

Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.

A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.

✰ haunted by the ghost of you* by @missandrogyny | E | 49k (perhaps my favorite fic of all time? the humor, the characters, the angst?!?! all the britney spears!! and pink ouija boards and wikihow!!)

He’s tall—that’s the first thing that registers in Louis’ head when he spots him, standing with his hands behind his back. Tall, with curly hair, staring at them with the widest, greenest eyes Louis has ever seen. And wait, are those dimples? Louis didn’t know ghosts could have dimples.

Because he’s definitely a ghost, this boy. At first glance he looks normal, standing there pigeon-toed in a band shirt (The Ramones, Louis can’t help but note incredulously), dark jeans, and some boots, with rings on both hands, and tattoos littering his left arm—a sleeve made of anchors and names and roses and other completely unrelated things. But he’s also a little bit translucent; if Louis focuses, he can see the outline of the furniture, the design of the wallpaper through him.

“Hi,” the boy—the ghost—says to Louis. His face shifts; somehow his dimples dig deeper into his cheeks. His eyes flit from Louis, to Niall, to Liam, and finally to Zayn, and his face goes from shocked to elated. “I’m Harry.”

At in that exact moment, standing between three of his best friends and staring at a (quite handsome) ghost, Louis can only think one thing.

Nick Grimshaw was right.

✰ like real people do by @eeveelou | E | 64k (this was... so amazing. the characters were so wonderfully written and so was the journey of healing and growth that louis undertakes over the story :’) loved the contrast between l and h’s lives and how they fit into each other still so perfectly)

Jessica Jones AU in which the dead stay where they belong, featuring Zayn as the high-powered lawyer with a hopeless crush on his assistant Liam, Niall as the constantly stoned but strangely insightful neighbor, Harry as Manhattan’s media darling, and Louis as the never-was hero who’s just trying to pick up the pieces.

✰ Black With Autumn Rain by whimsicule | T | 93k (i actually can’t remember if i’ve read this before??? either way - it was wonderful! loved the setting and atmosphere and the supernatural elements! i was so intrigued from the first sentence onwards)

Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren’t exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

podfics ~

✰ tall stories on the page by @soldouthaz & read by @softlouislove | T (hannah’s voice is so lovely and perfect for reading aloud - and ofc the fic itself is amazing)

Harry's tired of being interviewed by people that only care about the same pointless gossip. Louis is a nice change of pace.

wips ~

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved | E | 60k | 6/16 (just caught up fully today but i’m really enjoying everything! this is everything i’ve ever wanted in a fantasy fic)

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies | E | 39k | 3/10 (having a blast reading this one!! i’ve never seen the bachelor in my life but in fic-format, it’s so fun!)

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

✰ The Night Still Whispers Sins of Old by @toomanydreamers | E | 6k | 2/? (loving this so much, as expected. can’t wait to see how everything unfolds)

Two and a half years have passed since the fateful day when Louis and Harry were crowned Triwizard champions. Confronted with misunderstandings, wounded pride and heartache, Louis stumbled away from the possibility of a future relationship with Harry. Instead, he buried himself into relentless work as a junior Auror and refused to let himself be vulnerable with another person. Circumstances change that force Louis to confront his feelings - and Harry. Stolen glances, picnics at sunrise, thrilling adventures, original spellwork, midnight feasts, soft lips and cautious second chances culminate in an unforgettable mission - but will it be enough to mend their relationship?

non-1d ~

✰ like a bullet needs a gun by @millsxwriting | T | 21k | wilds au (despite me having no context, mills still got me to fall in love with toni and shelby. this was so cute and lovely!!)

Toni doesn’t expect to fall for anyone in her senior year. Least of all for Shelby Goodkind, the new girl that arrived in town just before the end of summer. In fact, Toni can’t even look at her for longer than two seconds, or listen to more than three sentences coming out of her mouth without wanting to accidentally push her off a cliff.

Cue a group project and endless bickering, and suddenly Toni finds herself with an unbearable crush.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

#fic recs #my fic recs #28th appreciation #february recs #2021 recs #february 2021 recs #scheduled

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hemmingslftv · 3 years

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Not in the same way

Word count: 3k Warning: angst, mention of abortion. Requested: no but requests are open! A/N: hi! It's been almost a year since I last posted on here but I've had this idea on my mind for a while now and I just needed to write it down so here it is. I wrote it real quick so I don't think it's one of my best works. Enjoy! and, as always, any feedback is appreciated. Masterlist

- C'mon! We're gonna be late for your own party! - Ashton shouted while you ran down the stairs of the house you both shared as fast as you could with your high heels.

- I'm ready! - you said and you gave him a quick peck on his cheek while he grabbed the keys to your car.

It was your 25th birthday and Ashton had planned the perfect party. He had rented a house just outside of LA and you both wanted to get there before everyone arrived so you could welcome them. At first, you weren't so excited about the idea because you loved to spend time with your friends but you didn't really enjoy crowded places. But Ashton had convinced you that you only turn 25 once and you should celebrate it.

You arrived right after Calum, who was the first one to get there. One by one all your friends and family got there and you had to admit it was exciting to share the same space with everyone and to know that they were there for you. As the afternoon went by, you all had a few drinks and ate while chatting to each other, there was a chilled environment and you loved it.

When it was around 10PM, Ashton decided it was time for his speech. You knew it was coming sooner or later, he loved to speak in front of people and you loved to listen to him express his love for you so openly.

- Baby, can you come here for a bit? - he asked after everyone was silent. You blushed, the shyness that characterized you coming to the surface.

- Is it really necessary? - you asked making everyone laugh (even though it was a genuine question). Ashton smiled at you softly and you protested silently and started walking towards him.

- Thank you, love - he whispered once you were close enough so that only you would listen.

- So, as everyone already knows - he started his speech - it's y/n's 25th birthday today, which means she's getting old, but don't tell her or she'll freak out - you punched him jokingly on his arm and giggled - and it also means it's the 5th birthday I get to spend with the love of my life - he looked at you and you could see his eyes full of love, making you feel the luckiest girl on the planet. You stared at each other for apparently too long because Luke had to clear his throat to tell him to continue.

- Sorry, I got lost on her, it happens quite often - he said earning a few "aws" from the crowd - So, as I was saying, I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend my life with - he turned to face you and took your hands on his.

- y/n, I know you think I'm too cheesy or sentimental sometimes, but I need to tell you how I feel because I need you to feel loved. You've gone through so much and I've come to realize you must be the strongest person on earth because you have made it out of every possible situation, and always keeping a smile on your face. You've made me the man I am today, you helped me get out of my addiction and you stuck by my side when I didn't deserve you to, but I desperately needed you to. I think we both helped each other to love ourselves and we can put ourselves first in this relationship and I think that's what has kept us strong for a little bit over 5 years now. We went through the saddest event of our life together - you knew he was referring to the abortion you had almost a year ago that nobody knew about except for you two and you couldn't help but shed a few tears. You could tell his eyes were teary too and after a short pause, he continued - but we worked past it and we got out of it together, and stronger than we were before. y/n, you are the love of my life, you are the woman I want to wake up next to every day, my whole heart belongs to you and I couldn't imagine a future without you so - he said while kneeling down, making you cover your mouth with your hands as you realized what was going on.

- Ashton please don't - you tried to say, but you weren't sure if the words had actually come out of your mouth or if they were loud enough for him to listen. You were panicking more than you ever had before and you wished he was able to see it in your eyes. He was always so good at reading you, but this time he didn't, he was too excited himself to notice how your whole body tensed as he continued.

- So, y/f/n, do you wanna marry me? - he asked with hope and happiness written all over his face. You were frozen, this was the last thing you were expecting from this party and you felt suddenly trapped in your own body, unable to move. After a couple of seconds, Ashton tilted his head, waiting for your answer and you could tell he was starting to get nervous. - I... y/n? do you want to marry me? - he insisted and you snapped back to yourself but to everyone's surprise, you turned around and started running towards your car.

You ran as fast as you could. Halfway there you stopped to remove your heels and even though your heart was pumping louder than it ever had before you could listen to your best friend shouting for you to wait for her. But you didn't. You kept running until you got to your car and drove away.

As soon as you got home you started packing a bag. You didn't even know where you were going but you were more than sure you weren't welcome here anymore. You expected to cry at some point but you didn't, all you felt was numb. Not even 10 minutes after you had arrived you had your bag ready and you were about to leave your room when you heard the door open. "Shit" you muttered to yourself.

- Do you want me to stay? - you heard Calum ask from outside the door.

- No, it's fine. I can take it from here.

- Okay, call me if you need anything - he said before you heard the door closing. You took a deep breath, grabbed the bag, and started walking towards the door.

- Are you leaving? - Ashton asked as he saw you enter the living room. His tone wasn't an angry one, as you had expected, he sounded just sad. You were too ashamed to even look at him but you thought that was the least you could do and you built up the courage to look him in the eye.

- I guess, I didn't think you'd want me to stay here

- What? Why not? I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I wanted you to leave

- No, I know, but I mean, after what just happened. Not only did I reject you but I also run away leaving you all alone to deal with the mess I made and I did it in front of all our friends

- Please stay, we need to talk - he said getting closer to you and you dropped the bag to the floor while he held your hand guiding you through your house. Both of you sat on the kitchen table, the place where you always had your serious talks - I need you, to be honest with me, do you not love me anymore? Have you fallen out of love with me? Is there... - he looked down for a second and you could see his jaw and hands clench - is there someone else you've been seeing? I know you always try to protect me but I need to know, I promise I can handle it

- No, no, no, no, why would you? Well, I mean, I can see why you would think that but no, since the day I met you, there's never been anyone else. And of course, I still love you, I love you more and more every day.

- You love me, just not in the same way I do, right?

- I don't know what you mean

- You say you love me, and I believe you, but you don't love me enough to marry me, is that it? Am I getting it right?

- No, I - you tried to reply

- 'Cause I would give my life for you, do you hear me? I would literally die if it meant you were safe. I'd do anything for you. And to be completely honest, I thought we were on the same page.

- We are, I promise, I would die for you too, Ash. But I don't know, I didn't expect you to ask me to be your wife just then and there, out of nowhere.

- Well, I guess that's the point, it's supposed to be a surprise, you know?

- Yeah, I know, but people talk about it first!

- C'mon! We've talked about it. I've told you a million times I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and all those times you agreed, how was I supposed to know you didn't want to marry me?

- It's not that I don't want to. I do want to wake up next to you every morning and I definitely want to grow old with you.

- What's it then? Why did you run?

- I'm not sure. I panicked. I could perfectly picture us together in 10 years, 20 or 40, and with all our kids and grandkids but I don't know, being your wife? That's a responsibility I doubt I am good enough for. How do you know you won't get tired of me? I mean, I'm great, but we both know I'm not the best you could have. You could literally marry any girl, and you chose me. And I guess I hadn't realized that until tonight and it was just too much for my brain to process at the same time. I'm sorry I ruined everything. See? That's what I mean, I am not perfect.

- I don't want perfect babe, I want you. And I will always want you. You would be the best wife ever, I just know it. You've been the best girlfriend all these years, it's not gonna change because we change the label.

- So you don't hate me?

- Of course not, I could never hate you. I get it, maybe I should have talked to you first, not ruining the surprise but making sure you had in mind it could happen soon.

- Yeah, that would have been great - you smiled slightly and relaxed when he smiled back at you. You thought you had ruined your relationship and you could now see that nothing could ruin what you both had, it was too strong.

- By the way, I think your father hates me, I left him quite angry but I didn't really have time to deal with that.

- Oh god, I'm so sorry - you both laughed for a bit, and then you asked - Ash?

- Hmm? - he mumbled looking at you.

- I do want to marry you - you were sure about your decision, you knew there wasn't anyone better for you than him and if he was just as convinced, why not take it a step further?

- Yeah, you do? - he said while he got up from his seat and you did the same - then let me try this again - he reached for the velvet box in the pocket of his jeans.

- You know what? - you said taking the box from his hand - let me try this time - You knelt just as he had done almost an hour ago and took a deep breath - Ashton Irwin, you light up my days, you are the reason I wake up every morning, the first and the last thought I have every day. Every moment I spend with you becomes my favorite one so far and I haven't really had time to prepare this speech and you know I'm not as good as you with words but I love you. I've never known anyone with a busier schedule than yours and you have made time for me every single day I needed it, and I think that shows how much you care for me, and I want you to know I care just as much. Every single feeling you have for me, I have for you, and I couldn't picture my life without you. Ashton Fletcher Irwin, do you want to marry me? - you said as a few tears slipped down your cheeks.

- Yes, of course, I wanna marry you! - he cheered holding your arms and helping you get up so he could kiss you.

- I don't have a ring but you do so, do you mind doing the honors? - you said opening the velvet box. He took the silver ring at slid it down your finger. It fit perfectly and it was the most precious ring you had ever seen.

- Do you like it? - he asked while kissing your cheeks and nose, cleaning the tears that still run down your face.

- I love it boo, it's perfect - you kissed him and the kiss heated up quickly but you took a step back as soon as his grip on your waist got a bit loose.

- What are you doing? I want you - he pouted.

- I know, I want you too but I need to tell you something before - you ran to your purse to get a little present you had planned on giving to Ashton at your birthday party. When you got back to the kitchen, he was already shirtless. You groaned at the view and bit your lower lip - I told you to wait - you said shaking your head so you could focus.

- I can't, you're too hot! - he giggled.

- I love you. Open this - you said handing him the small package. He knitted his brows together.

- I have no idea what this is - he said starting to open it.

- I know - you pressed the record button on your phone without him realizing and put the phone on the countertop so it recorded his reaction. You were excited for him to finally know what you had kept to yourself for almost 4 months now.

- It's a box! - he joked while he ripped out the paper it was wrapped in. As soon as he opened it you could see the tears building upon his eyes and they started running eagerly down his face as he held the tiny converse shoes that were inside the box - Are you? Please tell me you're not kidding me - you shook your head 'no', not able to contain your tears either - Oh my god! Are you okay?

- Yes, we're perfectly fine and healthy - you said while he hugged you and spun you around - I'm 4 months in.

- You're what? And you haven't told me? Babe, you don't have to keep doing things on your own, I'm here for you now.

- I know, I just didn't want to get your hopes up just in case, you know, I failed again

- Don't, please. It wasn't your fault, those horrible things just happen and they shouldn't, but they do, there was nothing you could have done better - he put his hand on your belly softly making you shiver - So that's why you haven't been drinking lately - you nodded.

- And that's why I wasn't in the mood for morning sex either. To be honest, I thought that was gonna give it away.

- Well, I had no clue, I thought it was just a phase. I can't believe we're gonna be parents babe, and you planned on leaving me with our creation inside you? - he teased.

- I hadn't thought about that! okay? I have the perfect excuse, it was the hormones - you laughed and removed his hand off your belly so you could pull your dress up - if you look closely you can clearly see them growing, I think it's showing already.

- Oh my god! It totally is! How have I not noticed this?

- You're not the greatest observer I guess

- Yeah, I'm definitely not. Did you go to the doctor's appointments all by yourself?

- No, Calum always came with me, he's the only one who I knew would keep the secret.

- Calum? Oh, so that's why he was so sure you weren't cheating.

- Did you seriously thought I was seeing someone else? - you asked kind of hurt.

- No, not really. I guess I was just trying to go through every possible situation in my head so that it wouldn't take me by surprise.

- I'm sorry Ash - you said cupping his face with your hands - I shouldn't have run. It's the last thing you deserve. You've done nothing but be there for me all these years.

- So have you, it's okay. Are you ready to share the news with the world? - he asked with a sparkle in his eyes.

- I guess so, I was gonna tell you in front of everyone at the party, now that the first trimester is over the chances of it going

- Shh, don't even think about it. It's gonna be okay - he assured you while he hugged you from behind - let me capture this moment - he got his phone out of his pocket and took a picture of his hand holding yours, with the wedding ring on it, on your belly - perfect - he whispered once he was happy with the result.

He posted it on Instagram with the caption "I couldn't have asked for a better mum for my children, including the one that's on the way. Love you forever y/n, your future husband".

#5sos #ashton irwin #5sos blurb #5sos angst #5sos fluff #5sos fic #dad!sos #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin angst #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin fanfic #5sos fanfic

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thehotspurs · 3 years

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profuse amounts of maxiel rambling below, because there’s this one damn song that just reminds me of them so much and i can’t hold it in any longer

SO THE SONG “DECEMBER” BY NECK DEEP RIGHT-

i added it onto my maxiel playlist on spotify a while back and only just sat down and properly clocked how much the lyrics apply to them??

(OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS ALL IN MY IMAGINATION OKAY NONE OF IT IS REAL (well okay maybe like i little bit might be) TAKE IT WITH A PINCH OF SALT)

“stumbled round the block a thousand times, you missed every call that i had tried so now i’m giving up”

(for context, this song is in max’s POV cerca 2018) the idea that he’s spamming daniel’s phone, trying to get an answer whilst he’s most likely very drunk cuz he’s all depressed from dan leaving is just something that would happen plz

“a heartbreak in mid december you don’t give a fuck, you never remember me”

MID DECEMBER. dan’s last race for red bull was the 25th november, he’d most likely be finished up with everything red bull related in mid december, hence max’s obvious crippling heartache and worries that daniel will basically forget about him once he leaves rb

“while you’re pulling on his jeans, getting lost in the big city”

HIS jeans you cry?? WHOSE??? well, wish i could give you an answer but alas i can’t - that line always escapes my explanation :| could maybe make a tenuous link to “his jeans” meaning some form of renault clothing but hey i’m tryna keep it as real as i can when i’m literally attempting to make lyrics fit to two completely unrelated people! “getting lost in the big city” is just monaco i guess, maybe LA cuz dan loves it so much??

“i was looking out our window, watching all the cars go”

they live (lived?) in the same apartment building!! chances are they share the same view, hence the OUR window

“wondering if i’ll see chicago, or a sunset on the west coast or will i die in the cold, feeling blue and alone”

i just imagine this as max wondering how he’ll spend his winter break: 1. with dan in chicago (or pretty much anywhere in the US) 2. with dan in perth, hence the “west coast” (tenuous, i know) 3. at home in monaco by himself or in holland, without dan (which is devoid of sun and warmth because he’s missing dan)

“i hope you get your ball room floor, your perfect house with rose red doors”

rose red doors. rose red doors. rose red doors. its no secret dan’s dream was/is to drive for ferrari, and what colour do ferrari drive in? rose. red. his perfect house i see as the perfect car (aka one that isn’t as shitty as that 2018 red bull) with the rose red doors as the rose red livery. max hopes dan gets his dream one day, even if that isn’t with him

“i’m the last thing you’d remember, it’s been a long lonely december”

for better or for worse, max is the last thing daniel remembers of redbull. and again, with dan leaving rb officially after the last race in november, max truly is having a long, lonely december without him

“i wish i’d know that less is more, but i was passed out on the floor. that’s the last thing i remember it’s been a long lonely december”

max doing what every good angsty bitch does and drowning his sorrows in alcohol ❤️ perhaps he intended on apologising to dan but drank too much and fucked it up? who knows (not me, i’m just the messenger of whatever my brain brings up at 3am)

“cast me aside to show yourself in a better light, i came out grieving, barely breathing and you came out alright”

it’s no secret rb favoured max and yet forming this exceptional partnership where they respect each other on track and care too much meant no normal team principle would ever think about splitting them up, but dan can’t deal with being the second driver, and so has to cut ties to try and make himself as an individual look better to escape rb. in the end, max loses his best friend, his rock, his anchor, whilst daniel gets what he wanted all along

“but i’m sure you’ll take his hand, i hope he’s better than i ever could’ve been”

bit of a reach (but we love those here), dan shaking cyril’s hand to formalise those contract negotiations and finally getting out of rb. max knows how much he hated it, and he hopes renault can offer daniel what he couldn’t - happiness and success

“my mistakes were not intentions this is a list of my confessions i couldn’t say”

max didn’t intend on causing the crashes in hungary or baku and he’d never dream of wanting rb to favour him over dan. but he just can’t seem to admit it

“pain is never permanent but tonight it’s killing me”

he knows he’ll get over it eventually, but time heals and the wound is ✨fresh✨

“i miss your face, you’re in my head, there’s so many things that i should’ve said”

this is fairly self-explanatory, max just can’t stop thinking about what he could’ve done to stop dan from leaving

“a year of suffering, a lesson learned”

2018 was one big year of suffering. the retirements, the crashes, the contract politics. it was torture.

the rest is pretty much just repeats of the chorus so i won’t bore you with that!! but yeah, my rambling is over. if you made it to this point fair fucking play, i apologise as well because my 3am thoughts are never easy to read.

i’ll link the playlist below if you wanna listen to over 24 hours of songs that remind me of maxiel, no i’m not okay but thanks for asking.

#maxiel #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #Spotify

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kulaykape · 3 years

Text

Ina Kingsley x MC: Taking a Break, Ch. 2 (of 3)

Summary: Ina breaks things. Aliyah finally gets that text back.

tags: @sakaily @jenxespinoza @domakir @thedaft1 @kwaj05 @citybornchick @nydeiri @thepotatobleh @hellyeah90sbaby @justtryingtofillthevoidxx @kaitlynliaofanxx @samanthadalton @kwekwek @astrangeandunusualgirl

---

"Excellent dissertation, Dr. Kingsley. Will you be speaking again at tomorrow's convention?"

Ina smiled a little awkwardly. It was still a bit weird to hear people address her as something other than 'Professor' now. "Thank you. And I can't, unfortunately. I have to be at a conference in Los Angeles by tomorrow morning," she shook the senior anthropologist's hand and made her way out of the venue.

It’d been a long time coming, but sometimes Ina still couldn’t believe she was finally here. The constant stream of conventions? The acclaimed articles? All of the anthropologists she’d looked up to all throughout uni now on speed dial?

Yes, this was the dream of the young, bright-eyed college student she used to be. Every bit of it, exactly as she’d fantasized.

But something was missing. And no one had to tell Ina what. She glanced down at her phone, checking the time, before leaving the conference much earlier than usual.

She was tired of the schmoozing and the champagne and the fancy after-dinners. She was tired of these faces that she had to see night in and night out (though it was because of no fault of their own). She needed something else, someone else.

The taxi ride back to the hotel was silent, and there was a lack of so much as a bellboy’s greeting as she arrived back. No one dared say a word to Ina when they observed the dark cloud surrounding her. She arrived back to her room, fists still taut with tension and her shoulders hunched up with stress.

Ina tossed her briefcase to the side, not caring if it chipped or cracked as it hit the floor. She headed straight for the cooler in the kitchen, producing a particularly strong brand of whiskey and an inexcusably large glass for it. She could hear Lilian’s voice chiming to her, as it had before she left New York last week.

You’re drinking.

I’ve always drank.

More than usual.

Ah, work has been… stressful, I-

Ina, you know I don’t buy that.

Of course Lilian didn’t buy that. But it wasn’t as if she could do much about it. If Ina wanted a drink, she was going to get one, and it had always been that way. But never had she wanted them to the point where Anthropology was her day job and drinking herself dry had become her night job.

What are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?

...I have to go, Lil. Tell Charlotte I’ll bring her back something from Cal-

No. You tell her yourself.

And seeing as Ina had had a bottle of whiskey in her hand at that moment, her hair mussed and clothes ruffled, that wasn’t about to happen. Charlotte had asked her mom later why Auntie Ina hadn’t said bye, and Lilian found herself stuck in the unique situation of wanting to both cry and break something.

Ina took a long swig of the drink, topped it out again, and then went into the living room. She turned on the television, ignoring the fact that the deadline for her next dissertation was midnight. She’d started to make a habit out of procrastination as well.

She nearly dropped her drink at the headline.

Seeing as she was in LA for this conference, the news had defaulted to that concerning the city. And of course, there was always some kind of celebrity action going on in Los Angeles.

‘New York musician and producer Aliyah Diaz joins Wonder for World Tour.’ The news anchor said something about the band Wonder performing in LA tonight and tomorrow, but Ina was scarcely listening anymore.

That was Aliyah on the television. Aliyah on TV. Ina couldn’t help but smile a little bit, shocked, proud, and in awe. They were all clips of Aliyah playing her instruments or speaking to her apparent new bandmates, all smiles and nothing less. The clip suddenly cut to an interview.

“How did you feel when you first got the call to join Wonder on their tour?”

Aliyah smiled politely, as if she’d been there a thousand times before. “Excited. Nervous. At first I wasn’t sure if I wanted to leave New York, but I’m glad I did now.” Ina felt herself jolt a little bit, as she realized it’d been months since she’d last heard Aliyah’s voice. It was smooth, warm, and just as comforting as she remembered.

“Was there really something in New York keeping you from just immediately saying yes?”

“...Something like that.” For a moment, Ina watched Aliyah’s face fall, but she regained her celebrity smile quickly. It was bright enough to cancel out the momentous frown.

Not too long ago that had been Ina, and she knew it. She guessed that Aliyah must have worked in reverse, getting over with the drinking and the crying first before she burst into her success. Ina, however…

She looked down at the drink in her hand, squeezing it tightly. Aliyah was in Los Angeles right now. All she had to do was go see her.

But would she even want to?

Ina opened up her phone, and looked back through all the unreplied messages Aliyah had sent her.

December 25th, 7:39 am: Merry Christmas, Ina. 🥰 Make sure to take it easy today, okay?

January 1st, 12:00 am: Happy New Year!! Still waiting on my midnight kiss 😘.

January 3rd, 12:42 pm: Hey, just wanted to check in on you. Are you doing alright? Did you eat yet today?

By the time Ina had seen them, she’d gotten into her own head thinking that it was too late to reply. Aliyah had stopped sending those messages by March, probably assuming the worst about her relationship with Ina now.

Ina looked up and around her hotel room. Her suitcase was still halfway unpacked, and empty bottles of brandy and scotch lined the kitchen counter. She didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that there were dark bags beneath her eyes.

So this was what she became without Aliyah.

Ina rested her elbows on her knees, and her face on her hands. I miss her, she thought, Oh my god, I miss her. She missed her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her smell… where could she find something to replace that?

Not a word since the “break” had been established. Not a phone call to check on her. Not a text to ask how Leon was doing. Ina had given her everything for a short time, and then silence.

“I love you,” you’d said, her mind chimed, Bullshit!

Ina picked up her half-empty glass off the coffee table and threw it at the wall. It shattered with a resounding crack, sprinkling to the floor in broken shards. Ina’s shoulders moved up and down like a weary animal, and she sank to the floor.

What had she done?

---

“Aliyah, can I see your guitar?!” A small, child-like voice shouted from the crowd. Aliyah perked up as they were walking back towards the tunnel, and she caught the eye of a little girl standing near the front of the pack of rabid fans.

Wordessly, she took her guitar off her shoulders and handed it to the kid’s mom. “Make sure nobody tries to take that,” she said with a grin. She walked off with a small wave before the kid could even begin to screech her praises.

One good thing. Just one good thing so that she could feel a little better about herself.

“Good job out there tonight, Diaz,” the bassist for Wonder said, patting her on the back as they retreated backstage. “You know, they always say that how well the bassist backs up the guitarist decides whether or not the guitarist gets laid or booed off stage,” he said with a grin, “So… hope you have fun with the ladies tonight. I know I will!” He disappeared off with a wink before Aliyah could even reject what he’d just said.

Aliyah let out a sigh. Even if she wanted to get laid, it wasn’t like she had the energy. Nor the heart.

She tried to think about Ina sparingly, she really did. But when the prospect of sleeping around or doing everyday ‘hotshot musician’ things, Ina’s beautiful face always popped into her mind.

Besides, they were still on a break. Just on a break. Which meant they still had loyalties to each other.

...Right?

Aliyah had no way of knowing if Ina was upholding the same faithfulness as she was all this time (they were going at around seven months at this point). A darker part of her mind had guessed not, what with the complete silence that every text message she’d sent was greeted with.

But that was okay. At least to Aliyah it was. But she wasn’t going to so much as look at another woman until Ina said it was officially over. Or when she said anything at all, really.

Aliyah let out a sigh as she collected her things from backstage, throwing on a black hoodie and sunglasses (ignoring the fact that it was night time). She was hoping to fly straight home after the show. She hadn’t seen Leon in almost two weeks, and it was starting to drive her insane.

Per the usual, she checked her phone as she walked towards the garage building. Straight to Ina’s messages she went. And as usual, she was expecting to be disappointed by yet another night with a lack of reply, but…

Could we meet for lunch tomorrow? I know a place.

~end~

#ina kingsley #professor kingsley #ina x mc #queen b #aliyah diaz

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doomonfilm · 3 years

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Ranking : Martin Scorsese (1942-present)

Of all the places in the world that seem to be hubs for creative energy, New York stands high on my personal list of favorites, and when it comes to iconic New York filmmakers, there aren’t many that can hold a candle to the prolific career of Martin Scorsese. His appreciation for films, art and music blasts off the screen with the same energy as his kinetic cinematography and vibrant editing. Once he established himself as a mainstay in the industry, his list of collaborators evolved into a who’s who of acting legends, both old and new. His career spans just over 50 years, and even his latest film (his 25th in his catalog) went head to head with other contenders for the top awards of the year.

To put it bluntly, there is Martin Scorsese, and then there is a long list of imitators and those influenced by his genius. To rank his films is a true test of logic, patience and decision making, but after a few weeks of catching the 7 or so films I had yet to see, I think I can stand behind this list as my definitive ranking (from least to most favorite) of a director I hold in the highest regard.

25. Gangs of New York (2002) An honest attempt at an epic flick, but at the heart of the matter, I simply don’t care about either side in the battle Scorsese presents us. Set in New York City in the mid 19th Century during the Civil War, we are thrown into a generational battle where the two key figures have different goals... Bill the Butcher stands as antagonist in his fight to maintain power and control, while Amsterdam is our protagonist charged with a mission of revenge. In the end, neither side ends up mattering, very much like my personal experience with this all flourish, no foundation exercise in style.

24. Bringing Out the Dead (1999) Nicolas Cage was gearing up for the run that most people know him for now during the release of Bringing Out the Dead : he was coming off of Golden Globe and Academy Award wins for Leaving Las Vegas, but was quickly leaning towards films of a more exploitation-based style. This film marked a refinement of his wild-man persona, while simultaneously being one of the last high-level actor/director combinations he would be involved in before his mad dash to accept every film and avoid bankruptcy. New York is captured in a mid-transition point between the darkness of the 1970s and 1980s versus the Disney aesthetic of the new millennium, and while heavy on the entertainment factor (as well as visually striking), there is ultimately not enough on this plate to push it higher up the list.

23. The Color of Money (1986) If you had to do a quick gander at the Scorsese list and pick the film that, on paper, screams Hollywood, it’d be hard to argue against The Color of Money taking that top spot. A soft sequel to The Hustler, Scorsese picks up the Fast Eddie story in the 1980s (an era that oozes out of each and every frame of this film), and yet, despite this legendary move, the film is ultimately the Tom Cruise show. Scorsese’s trademark dollying and trucking camera shots work beautifully in the context of this film, but in a story that shines bright, the star of Cruise ultimately outshines all that remains.

22. Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974) After a few exploitation-based projects, it seemed that Martin Scorsese wanted to provide a slightly different change in perspective, albeit one that still dwells in the darker corners of life. Rather than deal with the streets of New York or crime, Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore is a study on broken homes, single parenthood and domestic violence that oscillates between the view of the titular Alice and her young son. Harvey Keitel gives another strong performance as a Scorsese regular, while Ellen Burstyn shines in a transitional role towards more mature performances. Seeing Scorsese camera movements coopted into a more down to Earth story was refreshing.

21. The Departed (2006) Many people would have assumed that The Departed would be higher on a list of Scorsese films based solely on the cast... pairing Leonardo DiCaprio opposite Matt Damon in a tension-filled triangle with Jack Nicholson is a bold combination in its own right, but surrounding this nucleus with Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Corrigan, Anthony Anderson and supporting actors of that ilk creates a rich showcase of talent. Stylistically, everything you need is there too, as Scorsese proved time and again that films of this nature were his wheelhouse. That being said, the story itself, an adaptation of the 2002 Hong Kong thriller Infernal Affairs, takes a few liberties in its adaptation that ultimately are to the detriment of the narrative. Kudos to Scorsese for putting this one together, and too bad for him that the choices of William Monahan knocked what could have been a mega-classic way down the list.

20. New York, New York (1977) New York, New York is one of the most unique offerings from the Scorsese canon for a number of reasons. Of all his films, this one is probably the one that can be considered a “style exercise” more than the rest, as it oscillates between obvious sets and real locations before blurring the lines between the two. Long gaps of time are given to fully executed musical numbers (a must when a talent like Liza Minnelli is involved), and traditional methods of songwriting and performance are given their due respect. The exercise portion, however, comes in the newer acting styles that are infused into the old school structure... improvisation and aggressive physicality are used to put a deeper, disturbing red tint on an era often presented through a rose-colored lens. While interesting at times, the nearly three hour run time of the film begins to wear on the limits of the style, which ultimate leaves the film feeling more like a personal indulgence than a statement on changing times. For the iconic title track alone (and the buildup to its release), this film is worth seeing, but in terms of its placement in the realm of other Scorsese films, it may have to grow on me a while to find a higher placement on the list.

19. Boxcar Bertha (1972) Originally, this film was much lower on the list, largely due to its chronological placement between Who’s That Knocking at My Door and Mean Streets seeming odd to me. Upon revisitation, however, it stands clear and present that this film served as an exercise in the process of directing and organizing a shoot. With its period-specific placement, ensemble cast and action sequences, it was bound to be compared to (and ultimately overshadowed by) the formidable Bonnie and Clyde, but Boxcar Bertha has a few key moments in it (including a stellar final action sequence) that places it near the middle of the Scorsese canon, even with it being his second film.

18. Who's That Knocking at My Door? (1967) For all of the refinement that Scorsese found in his second film, his debut film, the stunning Who’s That Knocking at My Door?, stands as testament to the fact that Scorsese brought his many gifts to the table from day one. What started as a student graduate film grew into a speculative project, only to find 25th hour funding that allowed it a festival run and a proper release. The film took many years to complete and release, to the point that keen viewers will notice Harvey Keitel’s boyish, soft good looks morph into the sharper, edgier intense profile we came to recognize in Mean Streets and the films that followed. The energetic cinematography, respect of film as a medium, stellar music choices, defiance of youth, toxic masculinity and realistic look at relationships are all here, making this debut a hidden gem in the Scorsese canon.

17. The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Seeing Scorsese retread old stylistic ground (as opposed to infusing his style into newer projects) is an interesting take, and for what my opinion is worth, The Wolf of Wall Street feels like Goodfellas for white collar criminals. In theory (and, in some aspects of the film, in reality), the experiment does work, but ultimately, this film finds its placement in the middle realms simply because we are given infinite sizzle off of what amounts to a very thin steak. Goodfellas works because it is carried by the weight of omerta, but The Wolf of Wall Street focuses on a culture where status comes from self-appointed importance, which ultimately makes for an attempted redemption story for despicable people.

16. The Irishman (2019) Seeing actors the stature of Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci and Al Pacino combine forces for a film is always a major event, but until 2019, those combinations have been limited to duos. When Netflix announced its intention to release The Irishman in 2019, people were not only intrigued on Scorsese’s take on the Jimmy Hoffa story, but seeing De Niro, Pesci and Pacino in the same film for the first time. For what it was worth, the trio lived up to all expectations, with the only bittersweet criticism being wishes that the three could have found a way to work together prior to the twilight of their careers. The historical drama is high quality, with Hoffa’s larger than life persona captured perfectly by Pacino, and bolstered by the dramatic chops brought to the table by De Niro and Pesci. The film is a tad on the long side, and the de-aging process tips into the realm of the uncanny valley due to the older actors’ physicality, but for a 25th film 52 years into an illustrious career, The Irishman must be recognized for the triumph that it is.

15. The Aviator (2004) Much like The Wolf of Wall Street, I avoided The Aviator for years simply because I have no interest or fascination with Howard Hughes. I was very much aware of his financial stature, his innovations as an aviator, his rocky love life and his personal demons that plagued him, but for my money’s worth, I was fine without seeing it presented on the big screen. In an effort to cover all the bases for a director I hold in high esteem, however, I made the decision to finally check out The Aviator, and for every element of the film I previously had no interest in, an element was presented that won me over. Cate Blanchett and Adam Dunn put on two of the strongest performances in the entire realm of Scorsese films, and the XF-11 crash sequence is possibly one of the grandest and well executed in any Scorsese film. Leave it to Martin Scorsese to make a powerful film about an individual I care nothing about and nearly crack the top ten with that effort.

14. Hugo (2011) Up to the point of watching Hugo, I knew nothing about it. About halfway through Hugo, I had to stop and look up how the film was received, as it was simply stunning, and sure enough, it was a monster in terms of award nominations and wins. I never would have pegged Scorsese as the type to direct a kid’s film, but in all honesty, that ‘kid’s film’ title is used as a façade for a love letter to film in general, and the groundbreaking work of Georges Méliès specifically. The look of the film is otherworldly, the energy is light, kinetic and infectious, and even a mostly slapstick performance by Sacha Baron Cohen yields surprising emotional depth when given the opportunity to do so. While just missing the top ten, Hugo easily stands as the number one surprise on this list in terms of pre-viewing expectations (of which there where none) versus post-viewing thoughts (of which there are many). Knowing that Hugo exists lets me know that one day, if I have children, and they want to know why I love film so much, I will have a film on the level of Cinema Paradiso to share with them and (hopefully) help foster a love of film they can call their own.

13. Casino (1995) For a time, this film stood as the last work containing the vibrant combination of Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci, a trio of high energy creatives known for putting their all into their projects. Casino felt like a spiritual successor to Goodfellas, focusing on a lavish but secretive lifestyle with high stakes and even higher consequences. An instantly iconic movie, Casino felt like the end of an era in regards to gangster fare for Scorsese, opting instead for more challenging projects, adaptations of other books and films, or personal passion projects. It would be nearly 25 years later before Scorsese would touch similar subject matter or work with these actors again, but had Casino been the last of Scorsese’s so-called “gangster” films, I believe the world would have been happy with that.

12. Kundun (1997) To make one religious-based film in a career is a bold move to some, but I am hard-pressed to think of any director that made films on two different religions who didn’t explicitly make religious films. With that in mind, it is incredibly impressive that Martin Scorsese was able to make a film as moving and objective as Kundun after making such a bold take on religion as The Last Temptation of Christ. The film centers around the discovery, growth and eventual escape to India in light of growing aggression from China. In all honesty, I had my doubts as to whether or not the Scorsese style would work for this story, especially in light of the lack of cooperation from Tibet and China, but somehow, Scorsese’s amazing signature camerawork captures the unique spirit and essence surrounding the Dalai Lama. I’d heard of this film for years, but never got around to it until it was time to make this list, but I will almost certainly try to find a copy to own in the near future.

11. The King of Comedy (1982) What an odd left turn in regards of career trajectory for both Scorsese and De Niro. With three collaborations already under their belt (not to mention The Godfather II already being a well-established classic), it would have been easy to imagine the duo putting another notch on the gangster film genre belt. What we are given, however, is the yang to the yin of Taxi Driver : our protagonist is a statement on personal conviction and the trappings of instant stardom, our antagonist is a statement on star fascination and the high costs of celebrity, and our satellite characters directly reflect the toxicity certain fandoms can be capable of. Scorsese sets aside his normal flourish and camera moves for a mixing of film and video mediums, as well as a completely new sense of freedom in regards to the highly improvised nature of the film. Its influence on recent successful films like Joker is undeniable, but I’d argue that Joker lacks the heart, sincerity and realistic bite present in The King of Comedy.

10. After Hours (1985) Of all the “new to me” Scorsese flicks I finally viewed while preparing this list, After Hours stands as my favorite discovery of the bunch. I was marginally familiar with the film, both from my younger days in video stores and from friend recommendations, but for some reason, when Scorsese time arrived, After Hours seemed to never be on the docket. That oversight, however, will now be a thing of the past. This film feels like a personal challenge to Woody Allen in regards to how one should make a New York-based romantic comedy, and I’d be hard pressed to share any shortcomings or failures present in this comedic masterpiece. One of the few films that can be both a product of its era and a timeless classic, and one that should be much more recognized in the Scorsese canon.

9. Shutter Island (2010) Me hesitating or not getting around to Scorsese films seems to be a bit of a common theme here, but there was literally no excuse for me to take this long to get around to Shutter Island. Despite knowing the premise of the story (and even having the ending somewhat spoiled for me), I still found the impact of the final moments just as powerful as I imagine I would have going into this film blind. Some people will likely argue this statement, but in my opinion, this was the best Leonardo DiCaprio performance captured by Martin Scorsese. The asylum setting is wonderfully bleak, and the psychological horrors it infers create a vibrant playground for some of the most stunning visual symbolism that Scorsese has ever committed to film. Don’t be like me if you’ve not gotten around to Shutter Island yet, because it’s a thrill ride more than worth the price of admission, and a rewarding repeat viewer.

8. Mean Streets (1973) Mean Streets may have been Martin Scorsese’s third film, but for many fans, it was the first true indicator of the brilliance that was to come. A true New York film through and through, it not only presented fans with a stronger Harvey Keitel performance than Who’s That Knocking at My Door?, but it introduced the world to the palatable tandem of Scorsese and De Niro that would go on to lead to years and years of iconic performances. The use of altering aspect ratios is something that I wish Scorsese would have continued to use more often, but in all honesty, Mean Streets has style to spare. This the film that I love to recommend when people start ranting and raving about Goodfellas, and more often than not, it impresses those unfamiliar with it just as much.

7. The Age of Innocence (1993) Martin Scorsese’s love of film is widely known and well documented, but The Age of Innocence goes an additional step further by displaying Scorsese’s love of art. The film also is one of the most touching displays of unrequited love that Scorsese has committed to film, a slight alteration from his normal infusion of love stories trying to sustain in the surrounding chaos of gangs, crime, religion and so on. Daniel Day-Lewis, Michelle Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder all give standout performances in this masterfully directed film. If Gangs of New York was meant to be the definitive old school New York film in the Scorsese canon, then The Age of Innocence is the unintended definitive New York film from Scorsese, with some European touches thrown in for good measure.

6. Cape Fear (1991) Of the many, many iconic performances that Robert De Niro has given Martin Scorsese, I’d be hard pressed not to put his characterization of Max Cady at the top by a clear margin. Cape Fear was already a classic film adaptation of The Executioners when it was first released in 1957, but De Niro pulled two fast ones with his update : in terms of casting, especially with the aforementioned De Niro, Scorsese brought the harrowing story into a much darker, recent world, therefore increasing the tension by upping the ante for violent retribution, while at the same time, paying direct homage to the original by having Elmer Bernstein adapt the original Bernard Herrmann score. Juliette Lewis also provided a breakout performance in this modern day classic, and possibly the film that provided the most tense debate in terms of placement, as we will get into with the next film.

5. Silence (2016) Despite being one of the most recent Martin Scorsese films, this one’s limited release meant that I missed it during its initial run, and the lack of streaming service placement essentially erased it from my memory. I was certainly intrigued about watching it for this list, and it ended up being the last film viewed. Going into it, it felt like a sort of religious take on Saving Private Ryan, but it didn’t take long for the film to start dealing out much heavier cards in terms of faith, belief systems and cross-cultural contamination. The Last Temptation of Christ showed that Scorsese could find nuance and secular drama from a holy tale, and Kundun showed that he could make a religious icon a relatable human figure struggling to grasp his divine appointment. Silence is the work of a wise, steady hand, however, like some sort of cinematic parable or testament to faith in the face of crippling doubt and danger. Scorsese is certainly still moved by the idea of faith, and he uses Andrew Garfield to display this in some of the most powerful moments that he has ever created or captured for his films. For those who have not seem the film, this placement may feel a bit high, but I would not be surprised if, given time and proper amounts of reflection, it makes its way higher.

4. Raging Bull (1980) The placement of Raging Bull and Cape Fear was the biggest hurdle I was forced to overcome in the creation of this list. Robert De Niro is powerfully captivating in both films, though I would personally give his performance as Max Cady the nod over his embodiment of Jake LaMotta, but when it comes down to the brass tacks of it all, Raging Bull is ultimately the better of the two films. The raw, black and white look of LaMotta’s life already provides a gritty, unflattering portrait of a savage and uncouth man looking for beauty in the world, but that beauty he searches for appears in the boxing sequences with no apologies. The airy look, mainly caught by dynamic slow motion photography, works in tandem with the abrasive first-person views of the combatants, not to mention the direct nature of the combat itself as the viewer is often placed directly in the line of fire. The involvement of the real LaMotta within the film provides a nice button to the superb acting put on display by De Niro, Joe Pesci, Cathy Moriarty and the numerous actors used to portray the opponents of LaMotta.

3. The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) Call it a trope if you like, but it feels like every great (or aspiring) director has a film in them that is driven by religion in some capacity. The Last Temptation of Christ is unique in this sense because it takes the story of the accusations, betrayal, trial and eventual crucifixion of Jesus and turns it into a deeply faith-based suspense thriller. Many of the familiar beats we know from the Bible are re-contextualized as visions, mystic tests of faith, carnal desires driven by lust, and nihilistic views infringing upon deep indoctrination. Willem Dafoe plays a Jesus that is bitter in his acceptance of his fate, Harvey Keitel plays a wonderfully opportunistic Judas, and Barbara Hershey plays a very modernized version of a woman forced to use her body for survival that is suddenly trapped between necessity and passion. The film hinges on the verge of becoming a soap opera without falling into the trappings that come with such high drama, and the walkup to the film’s amazing final sequence puts you in the emotional passenger's seat while Jesus takes the wheel and steers directly into his fate. A dramatically powerful yet brutally sincere take on an iconic, revered and sensitive subject matter.

2. Goodfellas (1990) Is there any original praise left to bestow upon this movie? To focus on the imperfections of this film is an act of futility, as they are mostly non-existent. Some of Martin Scorsese’s best examples of his iconic camera movement, editing techniques, still frames, writing gleaned from personal experience, soundtrack use, loose historical connections and dark humor are found within the confines of Goodfellas. If you’ve seen in actor in any television show or film that had any connection to the mob prior to Goodfellas or since, it is more than likely that that actor was in Goodfellas, even if only briefly. Using Henry Hill as both an outsider and insider perspective is a brilliant narrative stroke, as he can get close to the top, but can never have it all, making him essentially a fly on the wall bursting with charisma and personality. They highs are as epic as the lows are tragic, and for most people, it is the first film that comes to mind when the name Martin Scorsese is mentioned. This could have very easily been the number one film on my list, but anyone who has been visiting this blog with a keen eye for detail probably figured out my favorite Scorsese film the first time they visited the DOOMonFILM blog.

1. Taxi Driver (1976) Since the day that I started this film blog, there has been one image at the top of the page : Travis Bickle in the porn theater (with his face replaced by my logo) from the iconic Taxi Driver. There’s not a single element that I can put my finger on for this film, but there are certainly a number of elements that do speak to me : the isolation that Travis faces, the journal-like narration that drives the story forward, the hypnotic nature of both Bernard Herrmann score and the repetitive taxi cab shots and the vivid camera movements are all burnt firmly into my brain. Everyone that makes up the main cast for this film kills in their performance, and the ending of the film is not only a brutal one, but an ironic one in regards to where Travis lands in the eyes of those who make up the world of the film. Martin Scorsese has made more amazing films than some directors have made, period (amazing or otherwise), but for my money’s worth, none of them are as powerful or well put together as Taxi Driver.

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ibelieveinharrystyles · 4 years

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Chapter Two: London Calling?

Forever? Masterlist

25th December 2015

“Merry Christmas Anne!” Ashley called out as her and her mum entered the Twist family home, the smell of Anne’s homemade nut roast wafting towards them as they hung the coats up.

“Ashley! Linda! Merry Christmas to you both!” Anne greeted them both with a hug, her familiar scent was sweet, with an added floral touch that Ashley didn’t recognise.

“Is that a new perfume Anne? It smells absolutely delightful.” Ashley asked as she took off her battered converse, she respected Anne too much to wear them in her house.

“Yes my love! Harry bought it for me, we did our stocking presents this morning and we’re just setting the table for dinner.” Anne told her.

“Sounds absolutely perfect!” Linda exclaimed as Anne led them into the kitchen, perfectly decorated as always, Harry stood at the island in the middle of the kitchen chopping a mountain of carrots, “You’ve got him well trained haven’t you?”

“Linda! My favourite Hanson!” Harry cried, placing his knife on the chopping board as he ran towards her, wrapping his arms as he swayed her from side to side.

“Look at you Harry, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you,” Linda said, taking a step back to look at Harry properly.

“Mum you literally saw him six months ago.” Ashley muttered, rolling her eyes at her persistent mother.

“Don’t listen to her Linda, she’s just jealous.” Harry told her, causing Ashley to stick her middle finger up at him, “If it’s alright with you Linda, I’m going to say hello to my second favourite Hanson.” Harry sauntered towards Ashley, “Merry Christmas!” He cried, stretching his arms out, before enveloping her in a hug, the itchy fabric of his over the top Christmas jumper.

“Merry Christmas you little shit,” Ashley whispered, so as not to let her mum or Anne hear.

“Can I get you ladies anything to drink? I’ve got wine, beer, lemonade or just water.” Anne told them as she retrieved a bottle of red wine from the fridge.

“Well as it’s Christmas I’ll have a glass of wine please.” Linda told her.

“Just water for me please, I wasn’t feeling too well last night, I’m not sure alcohol is going to help that.” Ashley said softly, “Are you doing your ginger biscuits Anne?”

“I made some yesterday, why do you ask lovely?”

“I just thought I could smell them, I remember the smell from when Harry and I were little.” Ashley told her.

Dinner was in full swing and Gemma and Robin had now joined the group, to some it might seem unorthodox for Ashley and Linda to spend Christmas with another family but since the Christmas of 2008 when their oven stopped working Anne insisted they came over as they had lots of food spare and since then it had become a bit of a tradition, alternating between houses each year. The room was full of laughter and the warmth from the open fire tickled their skin, the sound of the Michael Buble album filled the room. “So Harry what have you got planned for 2016?” Linda asked, piling carrots onto her plate.

“I’ve got a few things lined up, I’m looking forward to it, I never thought the idea of not having my day planned for me would be so exciting.” Harry told her, fiddling with his paper crown.

“How about you Ashley? I know you’re on a gap year, but have you decided what to do after that?” Robin asked her.

“I’m quite interested in radio, I’ve applied for an internship at Capital in London, Harry gave me their contact details, and when we went down for the boys’ show in London I had an interview, and I’ve been offered a place, starting in the new year.” Ashley told them, the only other person around the table who knew was Linda, she had meant to tell Harry, there just never seemed to be a right time.

“That’s amazing Ash!” Harry exclaimed, “So you’ll be moving to London then?”

“I’ve got the money dad left me in his will, I think this is the sort of thing he’d want me to use it for, to get myself a small flat.” Ashley didn’t like talking about what happened to her dad, she was only ten when he passed away so she didn’t really understand at the time, he was diagnosed with cancer when she was little, and in his last few months it became increasingly worse.

“He’d be so proud of you poppet.” Anne assured her, taking hold of her hand from across the table.

The meal was finished and Anne stood in the kitchen preparing dessert whilst everyone discussed whether to play monopoly or family fortunes first. Ashley felt herself losing concentration in the conversation, she felt her palms become clammy, she began to realise it was a recurrence of what had happened the night before. She excused herself and made her way to the bathroom, making it in time to throw up in the toilet rather than all over Anne’s bathroom floor, she slumped against the wall, knowing it was likely she’d probably throw up again. The tiles on the wall were cold against her warm skin, she stood up, splashing cold water on her skin. “Ash you alright in there?” Gemma asked from the other side of the door, Ashley unlocked the door, letting Gemma in, “You look a bit peaky lovely, are you alright?”

“I think I had something dodgy to eat last night, I was sick last night as well.” Ashley explained.

“Mum told me you could smell ginger.” Gemma replied, sitting on the floor next to Ashley.

“What’s they got to do with anything?” Ashley asked.

“Ash when was your last period?”

“I’m not exactly regular, but i’d say it was almost eight weeks ago. Wait, you don’t think?”

“You might be pregnant.” Gemma whispered, Ashley rested her head in her hands.

“Why is this happening? Why now?” Tears rolled down her cheeks, as far as she was concerned she wasn’t ready to be a mum, she was only just an adult.

“Hey, we don’t know that you’re actually pregnant lovely,” Gemma told her softly as she held her tight, rubbing her back gently, “I might have a test somewhere, do you want to do it now?” Ashley said nothing, she just nodded, “Let's get this over and done with,” she whispered.

Ashley had never known three minutes to take so long to pass, she sat on the toilet biting at her nails, the timer on Gemma’s phone went off, indicating that the three minutes were up. “Do you want me to look at it first?” Gemma asked.

“I think I’ve got to do it, it’s pretty clear I’d be bringing up a baby by myself, for that I should be able to stand on my own two feet.” She wobbled as she stood up, taking the test in her hands. She took a deep breath and looked down at it, she knew what it meant, she turned towards Gemma, “two blue lines. It’s positive.” her voice wobbled terribly as she broke down in tears.

“It’s gonna be alright, we’re going to get through this together, we all love and care about you immensely, whatever you decide, whatever’s best for you.” Gemma assured her, cradling her in her arms, “Do you want me to get Harry or your mum?”

“You can’t tell Harry, not yet, not today, I’ll tell mum soon, just not now.”

“Alright, we’ll go back downstairs when you’re ready.” The two girls were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Are you okay Ash? Can I come in?” Harry asked from the other side of the door.

Ashley shoved the test in her pocket and wiped the tears from her cheeks, “Yeah come in.”

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Gemma made her way out of the bathroom, “She’s not feeling too well, look after her.” she instructed Harry.

He held out his hands to pull her up from where she was sitting on the floor “I’m going to run you a warm bath with any bubbles of your choice, then we’ll watch a film in my old bedroom, I don’t want to subject you to games night if you’re feeling ill.”

After a wonderfully long soak in the bath Ashley changed into the joggers and hoodie Harry had left out for her, she tied her damp hair up on top of her head and made her way into Harry’s room. He’d created a proper relaxed environment for her, the room was lit by nothing but fairy lights that were strung around the ceiling. “Love Actually or Home Alone?” Harry asked as she climbed into the bed.

“Love Actually, you know how much I love Colin Firth,” she chuckled, snuggling up under the duvet like a little kid.

“Don’t know why I even asked.” Harry replied, putting the DVD in the TV before joining Ashley in the bed, she snuggled into his chest as he wrapped his arm around her, stroking her arm gently.

“I’m sorry I ruined your Christmas Harry,” Ashley whispered.

“Don’t be daft, I love spending time with you, if I’m honest with you I’ve spent so much time in other people’s company over the past five years, I’d much rather be up here with you watching cheesy Christmas movies.”

An hour into the film Harry looked down at Ashley, she was sound asleep, she looked two peaceful, so he didn’t dare disturb her, he knew she was unwell and didn’t want to make her feel worse. He pulled his arms from where he’d been holding her, getting out of bed and pulling the duvet up so she was properly covered. He turned off the TV and all the fairy lights, “Merry Christmas my love.” Harry whispered, placing a kiss on top of her head before making his way back downstairs.

The smell of bacon stirred Ashley from her deep sleep, she peered around at the bedroom that wasn’t hers, realising she was in Harry’s bed. She slipped out of bed, making her way downstairs to the kitchen where Harry and Gemma sat eating breakfast. “Morning,” Ashley chimed as she sat beside Harry at the kitchen table.

“You feeling better?” Gemma asked, prompting Harry to get up and make up another bacon sandwich.

“Yeah, I slept like a baby.” She told her, stretching out before pouring herself a cup of tea, “You didn't say anything did you?”

“It’s not for me to say, you can tell him when you’re ready, but I know my brother, he’ll be by your side every step of the way.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Harry asked, placing the bacon sandwich in front of Ashley.

“You.” Ashley replied, sticking her tongue out at him, “When do you fly out to LA?”

“As soon as he can I reckon.” Gemma winked at her.

“Oh yeah we wouldn’t want to keep Kendall waiting would we?” Ashley teased, Harry crossing his arms across his chest like a grumpy child, “Oh we’re only messing H, if you’re happy that’s all that matters.” Harry continued to keep up the grumpy teenager pretense, “If you don’t give me a smile I will sit on you,” Harry glanced at her suspiciously, “You leave me no choice.” She stood up from her seat and plonked herself on his lap, he uncrossed his arms and wrapped them around her tightly, her head squishing against his bare chest that poked through the gap in his white dressing gown.

“You win.” He told her, “You always will.”

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chilling-seavey · 4 years

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Anything But Mine (d.s.) - Chapter One

A/N thank you for the few lovely notes so far :) here’s chapter one for your reading enjoyment!

Thursday, August 29th, 2019

"So, you're here by yourself again?"

The colourful carpet was soft under Florence's hands as she picked absentmindedly at the pattern. She looked up to concerned glances from the lady in front of her. The leader of the group stared expectantly.

"Yeah. Matt’s busy." Florence cleared her throat awkwardly, looking back down at the eight-month-old baby in front of her. Clementine looked back up at her, a plastic toy held in her mouth by her two tiny fists. The rest of the group was across the room with their significant others, preparing to leave from the day's meeting, talking happily together.

"Does he know we have Mommy and Daddy group once a month?" the lady's voice was nothing but pity and concern and it made Florence hold back tears. The leader of their little group was a recent graduate of university with a degree Child and Youth Care at the mere age of twenty-five. Cameron was patient and gentle and Florence found comfort in her presence and within her educated advice.

Florence pulled Clementine onto her lap, wrapping her arms around the baby as a way to comfort herself. "Yes. He knows." Florence said, an edge to her voice.

"He’s busy a lot, huh?"

"It’s fine. Honestly." Florence forced a small chuckle. "He’s the one who brings in the money, so I can’t really complain when he’s busy."

"But this is something that's important to you, so shouldn't he make an effort?" Cameron frowned lightly, watching as Florence focused on the carpet. The young mother sniffled, her tired mind reeling. Cameron continued, "I don't want you to think I'm prying; I just hear the stories and see how it effects you and I want to make sure you're happy."

"I'm happy." Florence said stiffly, finally looking up at her.

"Yeah?" Cameron asked, worry set in her features.

"Yeah." Florence nodded once. "I love him more than anything."

"Well let me know if you need anything. Even if you need a babysitter for a night off or something." Cameron said, touching her arm comfortingly.

"Thanks." Florence smiled softly.

"I have little brothers I don't mind shipping off for hire for a night." Cameron winked. "They need to be kept busy."

"Alright." Florence chuckled, "I might take you up on that offer."

"You have my number."

"Sure do."

The girls stood up from the carpet, the room now empty except for the two of them. Cameron held the baby as Florence got her shoes on and gathered her things. Clementine was strapped into her seat as Florence pulled on her jacket. With a quick hug goodbye, Florence left the small daycare and headed for the subway.

Halfway across the city stood an old Victorian in the heart of downtown. Florence was heading there to meet up her friends at their new house before the school year started. It was arguably a fraternity, in all sense of the word, except they didn’t have a name and the house wasn't registered with the university. What would have been Florence's second year of university was about to start the following week, meaning all of her friends, except her, were preparing their back to school things.

Florence knocked on the front door of the three-story house.

Aidan answered it with a soft smile, "Hey. Come on in."

Florence made her way into the house with the small stroller, awkwardly navigating her way past the boxes that lined the hallway. Loud music was playing throughout the house and the place was filled with chatter. Michael and Luke, Aidan's fathers, were busy putting things away in the kitchen cupboards.

Michael and Luke were like a second family to Florence; the closest to a family that showed her that they loved her at least. Once her family moved back to LA and she flew back to Canada alone in order to hide her pregnancy from her borderline abusive parents, Michael and Luke took her in and helped her get on her feet while she was pregnant. They were there for her through everything and she really owed them so much.

"There's our girl!" Michael beamed when he saw Florence approach. He walked around the island and hugged her tightly.

"How are you feeling today?" Luke asked as he folded up an empty box and set it to the side.

"We're fine.” Florence sighed. She looked around the main floor of the house, taking in the grey walls and neutral modern tones. "Nice place you got here, Ai."

A small shriek from the direction of the stairs made Florence turn. A line of boys who were all around Aidan's age were peering over the railing at them. The one who screamed was the one who ran ahead, stopping in front of the stroller that was placed next to Florence.

"Can I hold her?" he asked, his soft voice quiet compared to the loud music that was playing the floor above.

"You know you don't have to ask, Dani." Florence chuckled. He bent down and unbuckled the baby, lifting her to his hip.

"Good afternoon, little one." The boy pressed a gentle kiss to the baby's cheek, holding her securely in his arms.

Daniel was Florence's closest friend in the city. They met not long after she started living with the Clifford's; as Florence insisted on leaving the house to accompany Aidan to a party – even if she was seven months pregnant – and there she was introduced to Daniel. Daniel was the best musician Florence had ever met; being able to play almost any instrument he picked up. Along with his raw talent, he was a soft-spoken boy – an absolute sweetheart in Florence's books – and the single most gentle person she had ever met.

Between his friendship with Aidan and flourishing best friendship with Florence, Daniel was around Clementine a lot. Not that he complained; he absolutely adored children, and he offered to babysit as much as he could. It was difficult, however, as bringing a baby into the dormitories of the university was not easily done.

Now living out on their own for their second year, Aidan, Daniel, and their other four friends were free to do as they pleased. It was an important step and Florence was just as excited as the boys were.

The other guys gathered around Daniel, swooning over the eight-month-old that was in his arms. Clementine held on to the collar of his light blue button up, shrieking with giggles as Jack's tight curls tickled her nose.

"What went down at mom group this morning?" Michael asked the young mother who had a second to herself now that her baby was distracted. She sat down at the island.

"It was fine. It was couples’ group today. Everyone else had their boyfriends and husbands there and I was by myself, so Cameron talked to me about it, yet again."

"Why didn't Matt go?" Michael asked.

"He's working until 5 and then we're going out with Daniel." Florence shrugged.

"My treat." Daniel nodded excitedly.

"Have fun third-wheeling." Zach laughed at his friend.

"I got my date right here." Daniel pressed a kiss to the baby's cheek.

"That sounds nice and all, but I could have sworn I saw him at one of the frats down the street." Corbyn spoke up, looking over at them as Clementine clung onto his index finger.

"What?" Aidan frowned, looking between them.

"Yeah. He said he was pre-drinking before the move-in parties tonight." Corbyn said slowly.

"Wanna bet he forgot about dinner?" Florence scoffed under her breath.

"Did he tell you he was going to work?" Jonah asked her, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He was always the most mature one.

"Yeah." Florence shrugged. "But whatever. This isn't the FBI. We don't have to read into everything."

The boys exchanged glances but dropped the conversation anyway.

"Anyway, I should text him. We should be leaving soon. It's almost 5."

"I’ll grab my keys.” Daniel said, passing the baby back to her mother before heading for the stairs.

“I need a turn before you go!” Jack gently took the baby back from Florence, cuddling her to his chest. Clementine easily curled into him. The rest of the boys said their goodbyes and headed back upstairs to continue unpacking, leaving Florence, Jack, and Michael and Luke alone.

"You’ll call if you need anything?” Luke said to Florence as she slung her purse back over her shoulder.

"As usual." Florence smiled at him. She then turned to Jack, “I need her back now.”

Jack frowned but gently placed Clementine back in her stroller, stopping to leave kisses all over her face which made her giggle, tiny fingers latching onto his curls.

"Let's get a move on!" Daniel called, skipping down the stairs and opening the front door. Florence said her last goodbye and followed him outside.

The late summer air was sticky and she was thankful for the sudden blast air conditioning in Daniel's silver Acura. The baby was strapped into the backseat; the stroller being able to detach into a car seat. The drive was filled with gentle conversation and quiet music, the eight-month old in the backseat falling asleep quickly. Matt had texted Florence to say he would meet them at home so Daniel headed towards the condo. Once they arrived at Florence's condo, they parked in one of her two underground parking spots. The place came with two spaces but Matt had the only car between them. This made it perfect for when guests came over. Regardless, it was unofficially claimed as Daniel's spot as he was so often over at their place.

The entire 25th floor apartment was very modern and framed in ceiling height windows that overlooked the city, a luxury the young couple was lucky to afford. With funds being sent in from Florence's twin brother in LA – without their parents’ knowledge of course – she was able to keep the condo as their own. Their dynamic worked well as Florence stayed home with the baby and Matt worked to keep his car and the food on the table while still attending university. Florence was anxious to have a job of her own but she knew when the time was right that it would happen.

Time ticked by slowly as Daniel and Florence waited for Matt to arrive home so they could leave. They waited on the couch, watching early evening TV, with Clementine sat between them. Florence’s eyes kept drifting to the clock as 5:00 passed quickly. Daniel could sense her uneasiness but he didn’t speak about it, not wanting her to make a bigger deal of Matt’s tardiness than it should have been. It wasn’t until quarter to six that Matt finally walked through the door. He exhaled deeply as the door closed, dropping his backpack on the floor.

“Hey.” he said, his classic crooked smile playing at his lips. His light brown hair was messily pushed back from his face and yet he still ran a hand through it, making his way over to the couch to press a kiss to Florence’s cheek.

“Hi.” she spoke quietly.

“Hey, Matt.” Daniel spoke finally.

“Hey, man.” Matt smiled, his gum smacking between his teeth. “We ready to go?”

“We have been for 45 minutes.” Florence narrowed her eyes up at him.

“You’re so tense, babe.” Matt laughed, walking into the bedroom to grab a sweater.

“I’m not tense. I’m kinda pissed that you told me you were working but when out and got buzzed instead.” Florence said plainly, arms crossed over her chest. Daniel shifted awkwardly beside her, scooping Clementine into his arms. It wasn’t the first time he had seen them do that.

“I finished early.” Matt shrugged, pulling his grey hoodie over his head as he came back into the living room. He turned to Daniel, a goofy smile back on his face, “Can you drive, bud? Getting here was a challenge enough.”

Florence shook her head in disbelief and got up to put her shoes on.

“Yeah, I guess I can drive.” Daniel agreed and got up from the couch as well. The drive to the restaurant was awkward; silence filling the car except for Clementine’s babbles and Matt’s phone buzzing in his hand as he typed away in the backseat.

Since they missed their reservation time, they had to wait in the lobby for a few minutes while the hostess found them a new table. Matt let himself drape his arm around Florence’s shoulders, whispering a small apology about being late, the light coat of alcohol fresh on his breath, and she forgave him with a quick kiss.

The hostess finally sat them at a table for four near the middle of the restaurant. Daniel and Florence sat across from each other with Matt between them and Clementine in the highchair on the other side. Matt drummed his fingers on the table as they looked over their menus, humming lightly to himself. Florence set her hand over his, stopping the noise.

The waitress came over to take their orders, beginning with Florence. Before she could even open her mouth, Matt butted in with, “I would love a Corona.”

“Are you sure?” Florence asked him under her breath.

“Very sure.” Matt narrowed his eyes momentarily at her before looking back to the waitress and smiling.

“I’ll have a water please.” Daniel spoke quietly to the waitress, breaking the slight tension. Florence smiled softly at him, shaking her head.

The group fell into silence for a few minutes. Florence took that time to bend down next to her chair and unzip the diaper bag, pulling out a jar for Clementine and an orange plastic spoon.

“I can do that if you want.” Daniel offered.

“You sure?” Florence held the baby food out to him.

“I’m sure she can do it herself.” Matt spoke without looking up from his phone, reaching with his other hand to sip his drink. Florence pulled her hands back and unscrewed the jar herself.

“Really, Flora, I can do it.” Daniel whispered.

“It’s fine.” Florence smiled gently, offering a spoonful to the baby who gladly opened her mouth. Daniel frowned, looking between the two young parents. Matt smiled at something on his phone, the glass bottle resting against his lips. Florence gently wiped the corner of the baby’s mouth with a napkin. How different they appeared.

Clementine smacked her tiny hands on the table, babbling happily through a mouthful of pureed peaches. When she reached for Daniel, he offered his hand to her, the light glinting off his rings and being an instant attraction to the eight month old. Florence held out another spoon but Clementine was uninterested, staring with an open mouth at Daniel. He leaned down to be eye level with the baby and stuck his tongue out. Clementine giggled, reaching for his face.

“You’re such a distraction.” Florence laughed to her friend.

“Sorry.” Daniel bit back a smile as Clementine held her tiny hand to his cheek.

The waitress came back and set their plates down. Matt looked up from his phone to eye the waitress as she walked away.

“I get it, the waitress is pretty, but at least make your gawking less obvious.” Florence grumbled into the air. Daniel picked up his glass with the hand that wasn’t claimed by the baby.

“I will when you two over there stop eye fucking each other all the damn time.” Matt waved his fork between the two friends.

Daniel choked on his water at that statement.

“Matthew.” Florence glared towards him.

Matt only shrugged, focussing at his plate, “Just saying. You two spend a lot of time together.”

“Just saying, you’re never home.” Florence retaliated. “I’m allowed to have friends.”

“Yeah. Try finding some girls to be friends with instead of clinging onto any attractive male you find.”

“Can you not be a jerk for once in your life?” Florence spat.

“I’m only saying what I feel. Isn’t that what you want? Open communication?”

Florence fell into silence, defeated by that statement, and focussed on her dinner.

“That’s what I thought.” Matt scoffed. Florence aggressively speared a piece of broccoli with her fork and popped it in her mouth.

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Matt grumbled.

“Like what?!” Florence glared at him.

“Acting like a brat now.”

Florence took a breath to keep herself calm, “Well I’m obviously upset because you insulted my literal only friend and when he’s sitting right there of all things.”

“I didn’t insult him.”

“Might as well have.”

“God, why are you always like this? No wonder your family left you here.”

A small gasp left Florence’s lips and she directed her stare to her plate. Daniel was taken back by that statement too, glancing between them with wide eyes. Florence felt tears forming but swallowed them back, not wanting to give Matt the satisfaction of getting to her. Hardly anyone spoke for the remainder of the meal.

“You can drop me off at the frat houses on your way back.” Matt told Daniel as he climbed in the backseat of his car once dinner ended.

“As you wish.” Daniel said under his breath, slowly pulling out of the parking lot. Once Matt was dropped off - leaving with barely a goodbye - Daniel headed for the condo.

“Well tonight was...interesting.” he spoke softly through the quiet car, Clementine fast asleep in the back.

“Yeah. Sorry about all that.” Florence said.

“Don’t apologize. He’s the one who was out of line.”

“I mean not really.”

“What do you mean? He was snapping at you and walking all over you all night.”

“He was not. I was being testy. I deserved whatever came back at me.”

“Flora, you can’t be serious.” Daniel let out a light, humourless laugh. “He treated you like crap tonight. Enough said.”

“He’s just stressed.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“Daniel, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

Florence rarely called him by his full first name so he knew to back off then. But he really didn’t want to, he was worried about her.

Florence stared out the window at the passing buildings and cars. She just wanted to go home and sleep it off.

“Every time I’m with you guys there’s always an argument going on.” Daniel whispered.

“No, there’s not.”

“I know you love him, and Clementine loves him, but you need to think about if this - all his parties and his constant bad attitude and his drinking - is what you want to deal with for the rest of your life.”

“How can you say that to me?” Florence turned to look at him.

Daniel’s eyebrows furrowed and he snuck a glance over to her before looking back to the road.

“You don’t understand how hard it is to do what Matt and I do. Being teenage parents. He has to work all the time and still go to school and still be a teenager and a father. I have to raise a child and...and...and do everything around the house. You can’t say that I should give up on this because Matt’s stressed. No. I’ve wanted this for too long. I’ve worked too hard to get here.”

Daniel sighed, leaning his arm on the door and rubbing his temple.

“Where do you think this conversation is going to get you?”

“Me? This isn’t for me.” Daniel retorted, pulling into the underground parking of the condominium. “I’ve known you during the time he was gone and then now that he’s suddenly back. After all the crap he put you through I’m just surprised that you still can’t see it. You two are so incredibly different and it’s bordering on toxic. You don’t want to feel alone so you let him back in your life no matter what he could or does do to you. Even ask your brother and he’ll tell you the same thing. You deserve someone who treats you so much better than Matt does.”

“You can think that all you want,” Florence scoffed, “But he’s my boyfriend. The father of my child. And if you can’t accept that then maybe you should leave.”

Florence climbed out of the car and slammed the door behind her. She took Clementine from the backseat, mumbling a thank you to Daniel for dinner, and stalked off towards the elevator.

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darknessisafriend · 4 years

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Can I please have an imagine where Joaquin is away on location for filming thus making it your first christmas without him so his sisters invite you over to spend it with them but it actually ends up being a secret plan to surprise you with Joaquin :)

Merry Christmas all!!!!!

Christmas surprise

“Babe I’m sorry...but the shooting has a delay of 3 days, we’ll be shooting the 24th in the morning and during the night of the 25th but I promise I’ll make it up to you!” apologized Joaquin through your computer screen as he passed a hand on his tired eyes. You sighed, it was going to be your first Christmas without Joaquin, he was filming at the exact opposite of LA, you weren’t expecting to spent Christmas alone, and now you couldn’t even find a flight to spend Christmas with your parents.

“It’s not your fault, we’ll do something when you’ll be able to come back.” you replied, giving him a smile, trying to hide your sadness, you didn’t want him to be upset for something he wasn’t responsible for. Still, he was good, very good at reading people and must have felt your disappointment.

“Hey, you won’t be alone, I’m pretty sure my sisters will come and get you as soon as they hear about it.” He tried to reassure you with a sweet smile.

You were suddenly startled by someone knocking at your door. “I’ll be right back!” you told him as you rushed to the door, who could it be?

“Ah isn’t our favorite girl in the world!” exclaimed Summer as she jumped in your arms, while Rain gave you a big kiss on your cheek.

“Hey I wasn’t expecting you!” you bubbled happily, hugging them tight.

“What you thought we’ll leave you alone while our little bro is playing?”

“Hey I’m right here...” replied Joaquin voice teasingly. Both sisters arched an eyebrow and rushed to the computer, you chuckled, they were balls of energy.

“Speaking of the devil...as you won’t take care of her, we will!” Scolded Summer with a hint of playfulness. They chatted with him for a bit until, until you had to leave with them to celebrate.

“I love you; I’ll think about you and I hope it will be okay for you too.” you wished him; a bit worried, he was even more lonely than you were over there. He gave you a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, it won’t be as bad as you think.” he added winking at you “I love you too.”, you send him a kiss with your hand and hang up.

“Come on we’re going to have fun, plus our parents will be delighted to see you!” cheered Rain while patting your back, you put on your coat, ready to leave and enjoy the day as much as you could.

When you arrived at your parents in law house, it was around 3pm, and there was a lot to do, the house was decorated but you still had to prepare Christmas dinner. You decided to help Arlyn to bake various sorts of biscuits while Summer made mulled wine to drink while waiting for dinner.

The day passed quicker than you thought, you all had cooked all day, now you were resting in the sofa, watching one of those cheesy Christmas movies.

“Come on! Kiss him already!” exclaimed Rain at the TV, she was so into it, you couldn’t help but laugh.

As it got dark outside, you set the table and helped your family to heat the food. It was a bit of the rush, everything had to be cooked nicely. The dinner went on happily, between the sisters jokes and dancing with Arlyn your mind was kept busy, and now Christmas music had gotten louder, all of you dancing and giggling while drinking mulled wine. Until a ringing at the door distracted you.

“Were you expecting someone?” you asked the family surprised.

“Maybe a choir or something, can you go check?” asked you Summer as she poured herself another drink. You nodded and went to open the door.

“Have you been a good girl this year?” you squealed in surprise; Joaquin had his arm leaning against the doorframe, a Santa’s hat on his head, a bag over his shoulder. You jumped in his arms, your eyes wet, you were so happy he was actually here. You caressed the back of his head, and leaned in to kiss his lips, he grabbed your hips in return, you realized how much you had missed the contact with his skin, four long months, away from each other, you intended on enjoying each moment you’ll be spending with him for the next days, actually you won’t even leave his side.

“Looks like she loves this surprise huh?” teased Rain, elbowing her sister, watching your couple tenderly kissing each other. When you heard this, your lips left Joaquin’s and you looked at your family in law with a falsely outraged face.

“Surprise?! You knew about this?!” you exclaimed, then turned back to Joaquin who was chuckling and playfully slapped his chest.

“Well, it was a last-minute change so I figured out I might surprise you...” explained Joaquin, tenderly looking at you, peppering your face with kisses, how could you stay mad at such a sweet man?

You finally let him in, he let down his bag and went to hug his family. Now Christmas was complete. You never left Joaquin’s side, you even fed him the dinner, softened by this scene, his family had gone farther in the house to leave you a bit of intimacy.

Now, the both of you were laying on the sofa, you were snuggled against his chest, distractingly caressing his tummy while looking at the lights twinkling on the Christmas tree.

“It’s good to be back home.” murmured Joaquin, kissing the top of your head. You straightened to look at him in the eyes.

“You’re my home...” you confessed back, kissing his lips once again, resting your forehead against his. “Christmas exceeded my expectations, with your family then you, that was amazing.”

“I’m glad...” he replied taking possession of your lips, this time, not letting go of you, deepening the kiss, your tongue meeting his. You felt desire grow in your belly, you wanted to feel him fully, before he has to be away from you once again.

You heard giggles not far from you, making the both of you break the kiss. It was Rain and Summer; they were looking at you and Joaquin like people would look at a cute kitten.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt, this was way too romantic!” Squealed Summer happily.

“You know you have a room waiting for you upstairs, right?” added Rain teasingly making you laugh, you turned your head to look at your lover, arching your eyebrow suggestively, he directly understood what you were suggesting.

“Alright...last one upstairs will be the last one to open its gifts!” he declared getting up and starting to run across the house.

“Joaq you’re cheating!” you exclaimed running after him, laughing, it was definitely the best Christmas you ever had.

Joaquin’s squad: @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @skaravile @niniita-ah @arcticmonkais @amourtiara @sirianfromsixties @sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face @live-love-loki @jaylovesbats

#Joaquin Phoenix #joaquin phoenix joker #joaquin phoenix imagine #joaquin phoenix x reader

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enchantingkittengaditor · 3 years

Text

Deep Water | 01. June

Summary: With fame comes pain. A fact that Caitlyn knows all too well. But when she is the one thrust into the spotlight instead of one of her relatives or friends, she struggles to keep her head above water. Especially when her frenemy Harrison is destined to become her co-star in an animated version of her favourite book. She has to hide her family’s past. He has to hide his feelings and truth. They can’t trust anyone not even each other and if their secrets ever come out, they’ll end up in deep water. This Story follows the trials of the three Watson sisters as they battle to keep part of their past secret.

Warnings: Mentions of Violence, Slight mentions Torture and Swearing

Character Page | Masterlist

JUNE 21st: Brenten

“We should do something fun to freak out fans on Instagram,” I suggested to the group of teenagers lying in my trailer on set.

“What you thinking?” Cat asked still reading her book, that girl could read if the apocalypse is happening.

“Like a thing,” I told her, causing a giggle from Cat, either at her book or me.

“That’s very specific,” She told me with some sass getting more laughs from the others scrolling through their phones.

“We could do old photos to now,” Harrison suggested peering over his phone to the blonde on the floor of the trailer.

“Oh god no,” Jasmin told us, “There’s a good reason that you haven’t seen any old photos of me.”

“It’d be fun,” I told her, “and they can’t be worse than mine or Cat’s.”

“They can.”

“I think we should do it,” Harrison said from the other end of the couch.

“Of course you do, you came up with it,” Cat scoffed.

“BRENTEN!” A British voice yelled from the other side of the door.

“Oh god, hide me,” I muttered.

“HE’S IN HERE!” Cat yelled back to the voice with a sly smile on her face.

“Thank you,” Millie said walking through the door of the trailer with Sadie.

“Hey, everyone,” Sadie said giving the people she’d only met a few days ago a wave.

“Why Cat?” I asked the blonde who was still reading.

“Because I am very much like my namesake in the fact I like causing mischief. That and also you’re disturbing my reading time,” She said finally putting her book down.

“Can’t you just go back to screwing Harry and ignoring me?” I asked her. In response, she distorted her face weirdly to show that she wasn’t happy with what I’d just said.

“I’m sorry Cat and Harry screwed each other?” Sadie asked, taking the jab at face value.

“No,” The two said, way too quickly for me and Jasmin not to laugh.

“It’s a running joke,” Millie told her.

“Because we despise each other they think we’ve hate fucked each other,” Cat told the redhead sitting up on the floor.

“Well, that’s not odd at all,” Sadie said sitting next to Cat.

“So what important stuff were you discussing before Millie yelled?” Sadie asked her, putting her head on Cat’s shoulder.

“Pulling an Instagram prank thing,” Jasmin told her.

“Well, I’m sorry I interrupted,” Millie told me with an eye roll.

“We should all do it,” I said.

“Fine,” Jasmin gave in.

“Let’s find the photos,” Cat said grabbing her computer from her bag ready to look for old photos of herself and her sisters.

“Maybe we can make out for the recent one,” Harry muttered.

“Lovesick puppy,” Millie muttered punching him in the arm.

“You’re the biggest arsehole I’ve ever met Harrison,” Cat said grabbing her glasses this time.

“You heard that!” He yelled at her.

“Obviously, you know that I have good hearing. Which reminds me please stop doing whatever it is that you do at night,” Cat told him.

“I agree with that, you’re not so subtle,” Jasmin told him gaining a giggle from the rest of us.

“Let’s do mine first,” I declared.

JUNE 23rd: Jasmin

“Oh my god, you were adorable!” Cat giggled at my young self on her computer screen.

“I’m not adorable. Go back to eating your spicy tomato soup,” I told her with a huff.

“Adorable,” All three of them said together.

“Why do we have to do this?” I asked her.

“For funsies,” Harrison told me mocking me and Cat. “I forgot the PE uniform looked like that,” He changed the subject pointing to one of the photos.

“Wow,” I said sarcastically pointing to the little heart in the corner for her to save it.

“Should we take a new one of you?” Cat asked me.

“Why the hell not,” I said slapping my legs getting up. “Where to, little photographer?” I asked her grabbing her hand.

“Anywhere I can take a shirtless photo,” Harrison said grabbing his keys to join us.

“Anywhere he can’t take shirtless photos,” Cat told me.

“I’m driving so my choice,” Harry told her.

“LET’S GO TO THE MALL!” I sang grabbing the keys from Harry’s hand to prevent another fight between them.

“But people,” Cat complained as I dragged her to Harrison’s bet up old car.

“Do you want to go on a several hour drive with Harry to a beach just to avoid people?” I asked her.

“In that. NO,” She shook her head in horror.

“We can take a photo of me tomorrow when we’re in LA,” Harry said giving me a look as I unlocked the car saying I’m driving or else.

“I call back seat so I can be far away from him,” Cat said moving the front seat to get into the back.

“You two need to grow up,” I muttered getting in after Cat.

“We’re only 16,” Cat chimed.

“I’m 17,” Harry mumbled starting the car.

“You two are made for each other,” I mumbled turning the radio volume up for the journey to the mall.

JUNE 25th: Harrison

“I REFUSE to take any more photos of you half-naked,” Cat told me seriously as we relaxed on the beach.

“But I look really good,” I told her.

“One of these days I’m going to kill you and no one will find the body,” She mumbled taking the photo before flipping me off.

“I believe you darling,” I said waving to some girls eyeing me from the shore.

“Don’t call me darling, asshole,” She said paddling her paddle board away from me and toward Jasmin.

“You like her,” A voice said from behind me. I turned to look and Bea and Alice were in a kayak behind me.

“Why’d you say that?” I asked the pair.

“The way you look at her,” Alice spoke, trying to stop the kayak.

“The way that you talk to her,” Bea said.

“The way that you write about her in your music,” Alice said.

“How did you know that?” I asked her.

“I’m a songwriter too. That and Brenten says you talk about her,” Alice told me.

“Also I think that she probably will try to suffocate you one of these days,” Bea told me.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, guys.” I rolled my eyes and started swimming toward my friends and Cat.

“So how’s the photographer and the boy?” I heard Jasmin ask Cat as I approached the shore.

“Nothing is happening,” Cat gave her annoyed look as I got out of the ocean and started shaking the water out of my head, “Are you half dog?” She asked me.

“Is that why you hate me?” I asked her back as she shielded her camera from me.

“I don’t hate you, I despise you. There’s a difference,” She said with a tight smile, handing me a towel.

“That’s an improvement mate,” Brenten said to me.

“Remember when we were friends?” I asked her.

“You mean when I occasionally visited Arya on set of wizards and I didn’t know you well enough to hate you yet. I remember,” She said with a sarcastic head tilt.

“Can you two just kiss already?” Bea asked dragging her kayak up the beach.

“NO,” We said together. Bea just rolled her eyes in response.

“Paps, 10 o’clock,” Alice said grabbing her bag, ready to leave.

“See you at home,” Cat told her elder sisters as they left before they were caught by the paps as they were meant to be in New York and Oxford respectfully.

“See you later Catigator,” Bea called to her.

“Catigator?” I asked her.

“She likes to make puns,” Cat told me, “I’m going to get a drink. Jas you want anything?”

“I’ll come with you,” Jasmin said linking their arms as they left me with Brenten on the beach.

“Dude, stop getting in fights with her. She told Jasmin that evertime she fights with you she feels really bad but she doesn’t know how to deal with the emotions,” Brenten informed me.

“Then why does she always start the fights?” I asked.

“You’re joking right. You always make some comment that drives her insane,” Brenten told me.

“Then why doesn’t she say something to my face?” I asked.

“Have you met the girl? Her anxiety alone should be enough reason let alone everything else,” Brenten said with a concerned look in his eyes.

“Maybe,” I muttered watching as the girls walked back chatting about something trivial, my eyes lingered a little too long on Cat though because she noticed and started glaring at me. Fuck she was beautiful, I thought to myself.

JUNE 27th: Caitlyn

“YOU LIKE HIM!” Kenna frantically signed at me as we walked down the near empty halls of the studio.

“I don’t like him,” I signed back angrily.

“Don’t lie to me Caitlyn. I may be deaf but I’m not stupid,” she signed back as we rounded the corner to the reception.

I wanted to retort but instead I got ready to speak to the receptionist. “Hi, I’m C-Olivia and I’m hear with Kenna, she’s auditioning for the role of Pheobe,” I said with a small smile while Kenna waved at her.

“Take a seat with the rest of the people auditioning and fill out this paperwork,” The receptionist smiled at me.

I guided Kenna to the seating area and gave her the form to fill out. As we sat their either chatting or watching other people walk in and out of the room. We laughed as Kenna read over the script after watching someone slip on water left by some crying girl throwing her cup.

“So how do you do this?” Kenna asked me.

“By trying your hardest and actually speaking not like last time,” I signed back laughing at the memory. We continued chatting until a voice interrupted us.

“I could help but notice the signing,” The masculine voice spoke, “Jack.” He gave me a hand.

“Olivia and Kenna,” I said back giving Kenna a knowing look.

“Are you both here to audition?” He asked.

“No, she’s my emotional support,” Kenna signed to him.

“So are you deaf or non-verbal?” Jake, signed to her.

“Deaf, but can speak even though the whole hearing thing alludes me,” Kenna signed back.

“Adorable,” I signed to her only getting a look back that said shut up.

They continued to talk while I just sat there, eventually grabbing my own script to read and memorise for my newest endevor.

Later that day, we were celebrating Kenna’s good work at the house, while teasing her.

“Can I talk to you?” Harrison asked me,still not wearing a shirt. Was that boy allergic to them or did he just like making me miserable?

“Sure,” I said, reluctantly getting up off the bar stool and following him to the pool. “What did you want to talk about?” I asked annoyed with the boy in front of me already.

“Why do you hate me?” He asked rushing all the words.

“Like I said before I don’t hate you, I despise you,” I said with a scoff.

“Since the first day that I met you, you’ve disliked and distrusted me. I just want to know why,” He said slightly angry.

“You realise that you’re a dick to me right. At school. At home. Here. You always have been, ever since that first day,” I told him, “I really wanted to be your friend but you dismissed me so quickly just because I wasn’t cool in your book. I tried again at school but you were either on set or being a dick with your friends on the football team to Kenzie and all of us. Then when we were recording you were so up your own ass that I could barely talk to you without you snapping.”

“I’m sorry, about all of that but can we at least try be friends now?” He asked me.

“I don’t know, with everything you’ve done I don’t know if I can forgive you. But I’ll try for the sake of my friends,” I took deep breaths as I said it feeling the rising panic coming throu me even if I didn’t know why this time.

Harrison seemed to notice my sudden shallow breaths because instead of making some snide comment back to me he lead me further from the open doors and closer to edge of the deck and away from our friends eyes. “Hey, hey, hey, deep breaths. What is it that Kenna and Lola always say to you?” He asked himself more than me, “Aha! Grey skys out, blue skys in. Grey skys out, blue skys in,” He told me making sure that I followed his instructions. Taking deep breaths I focused on my breathing more than the boy gripping my arms or my surroundings.

Once I’d calmed down. I looked in his eyes and saw something I never thought he was capable of, compassion and caring. God that boy is annoying and confusing.

#june #Deep Water #writing #my writing #my ocs #celebrity au #pjo #celebs #caleb mclaughlin #olivia holt #jake t austin #Amandla Stenberg #social media #social media au #'cause i still fuckin' love queue babe

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lostinletoland · 5 years

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Jared’s interview in GQ Spain:

(translated by me, I apologize in advance if there are mistakes but I did it as fast as I could that way you all could read it too; now, enjoy his wise words) 😍 [Credits of the photos and the article in spanish to gqspain]

Actor, musician, director, and especially, a free soul. Jared Leto is all of this. Prototype of the modern gentleman and a living example of the positive evolution of the masculine model. Nobody better than him to be in the cover (dressed, obviously, with Gucci) of our especial 25th anniversary number. The photoshoot, with the realization of our fashion director Joana de la Fuente, took place at his house in Los Angeles and for this occasion the photographer Cameron McCool opted to use an old movie style that had been stored for years to achieve a unique vintage look (and analogic).

The actor, director, musician and ambassador of Gucci Guilty receives us at his home in Los Angeles to explain how to be a free soul in the world's most important cultural industry.

The best way to start a text, always, is to steal the first sentence from another one. Hence, I ask Jared Leto for permission to use a piece of one of the songs from his group Thirty Seconds to Mars: "Lie awake in bed at night, and think about your life. Do you want to be different?" The verse, which opens the song Beautiful Lie, could be the first thing that would cross your mind when you meet him. There is no other person like him. It's impossible. One night he decided to embrace the difference and there he stayed. Imagine that each letter, each glance, each chord, is a brick of the house where he decided to shelter forever.

Jared Leto (Bossier City, USA, 1971) is an actor, musician, director, producer and free soul. He has an alternative rock band for over 20 years; he has been a winner of an Oscar, Golden Globe and SAG; on a small table in his house he has his own head in a glass urn. "I have it; it's true. It all started after seeing that Gucci parade a few months ago — fall/winter 2019 — where the models appeared with those prosthetic heads. I thought: 'It's interesting, why not play along?', so I suggested it to Alessandro Michele [creative director of the firm]. He loved it, and we worked very hard with several engineers in Italy to get it done." That's how Jared showed up in the red carpet of the last MET gala, dressed in Gucci... and with his own head in hand. Internet burst. "Maybe one day it can be in a Gucci museum," he says.

His relationship with the brand and Michele seems already legendary. "It started after we meet in LA and see we had in common the same way of looking at things: we both dedicated our lives to create." Since then, they live a kind of "shared adventure" that also extends to the launch of several campaigns. One of them is the Gucci Guilty perfume, which Leto stars alongside Lana del Rey. "It was amazing to do it; we shot part on the porch of my house, actually." In the ad, both appear playful and close while walking through the supermarket or living with tigers. A normal day, a standard romantic date. "Well, maybe if the date is in Africa..." jokes the actor, although always maintaining a certain serious air, without forced laughs.

The truth is that Gucci is an unexpected (or not) success that has revolutionized men's fashion in last seasons. Michele has dynamited the clichés: the excess can be elegant; men and women can share their dress codes. "It's the right ideas at the right time. Now it’s the time. Michele and Gucci have decided it's time to be brave and explore. And the world was prepared to hear exactly that," Jared analyzes. It is what happens but, also, the moment in which it happens. At the end, our form is created by others.

As a result, Jared adds to his abilities the idea of influencing and creating fashion universes. Any other artistic ramification that he has not shown? "Well, maybe not that I haven't shown. I studied at the Art School. I've always loved painting, for example. I don't believe in art as one or more disciplines, but as a path." The truth is Jared can be considered a total artist and his connection to the entertainment business is like a relationship of unlikely lovers. Hollywood on one side; Jared in the other. "They don't give Oscars to people like me," he said when he received the award for his role at Dallas Buyers Club (2013). The tinsel against integrity. Jasmine and cigarettes. He would be the flower: "The conflict exists," says Jared after thinking the answer for several seconds. "On the one hand there is the business and on the other the art. But the key is to listen to yourself, your heart, your mind. What do you really want to do? A part of all this is productive, that works, and that allows you to do the other things you really want. It's a matter of balance. " He uses his position in Hollywood, the advantages of the business, to also make committed stuff and to reach others.

And he takes chances. Always. Right, Jared? "Look, I have never cared that my creative decisions implanted risks. It is absurd not to take risks. Big things, things that really can change something, always come after a brave decision, there is no other way to do it." The actor also recognizes he has never had problems with this way of being, that he has never felt "strange or trapped" by his art. There will always be "an audience that applauds you and is with you" when your creation is pure and true. With his band, Thirty Seconds to Mars, with which he has been going on stage for two decades, the same thing happens. "We are an alternative band and my brother and I always talk about the same thing: we will continue doing it as long as we have passion. That's it."

Jared Leto is shown as the perfect example of that Gentleman that still appears in the GQ title. It may not be the same today as it was 25 years ago, it may not be the same as it was in the early 50s, when the magazine began to run as we know it today. In fact, how is that gentleman of the new era? "I imagine a person capable and forgiving, who defends dignity, strength, honor, kindness. I have an optimistic view of the gentleman of the new century," he confesses. Perfect to celebrate our silver wedding.

And where was Jared 25 years ago and where do he thinks he will be in 25 years? "25 years ago I played music and acted. I had dreams. I was beginning my path of creativity. In 25 years I may be dead and don't want to regret not having lived bravely." Boom.

One thinks many times that measuring time is almost impossible. That it is always late to see you arrive and soon to see you leave. We understand time, in the end, only as time it was. For Jared Leto the clock is broken. The physical, the mental, the creative. Broken. It doesn’t matter. And that is a great life lesson.

#jared leto #gqspain #interview #lostinletoland writings #thirty seconds to mars #his mind is a piece of art #i'm in love

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silhouettesetawayfromtimeforever · 5 years

Text

Common Audition Roles [List 1 (3/28/19)] Part I

Phantom of the Opera

Christine Daae:

(High Soprano, G#3-E6 (only goes up to C#6 live in most productions, including broadway)

A singer must be free (Nightingale)*, Children of the wind (Rags), yes my heart (Carnival), Seeing is believing [female solo cut] (Aspects of Love), The Finer Things (Jane Eyre), Inside Out (GGLAM)

Raoul:

(Legit baritone, G2-Ab4)

Asking for you (Do re mi), Her face (Carnival)*, I like you (Fanny), If I loved you* (Carousel), I do not know a day I did not love you (Two by two), People will say we’re in love (Oklahoma), Love to me (Light in the Piazza)

Phantom (Erik):

If I can’t love her (BATB), Lilly’s Eyes [or just about anything Neville or Archie sing] (Secret Garden)*, If I loved you (Carousel), look at Frank Wildhorn’s shows (Jekyll & Hyde, Dracula, Scarlet Pimpernel), Martin Guerre

Firmin/André/Buquet/Male Ensemble:

It must be so (Candide), C’est Moi (Camelot)*, War is a Science (Pippin)*, Any Gilbert & Sullivan patter Song (a la Modern Major General from Pirates of Penzance)*

Carlotta:

Art is calling me (The Enchantress)*, They Won’t let you in the Opera, The Finer Things (Jane Eyre), Glitter and be Gay (Candide), By Strauss (Gershwins), The Glamourous Life [As a solo for Desiree, look at version on Renée Fleming’s Broadway album] (A little night music), Any big comic high soprano aria like Quando m’en Vo (La Boheme) or The Doll Song (Les Contes de Hoffman)*

Piangi/Male Ensemble:

It must be so (Candide), C’est Moi (Camelot), any big high comic tenor aria like ale Donna e Mobile (Rigoletto), La Fille du Regiment,

Meg Giry/Female Ensemble:

The beauty is (Light in the Piazza), Dear Friend (She loves me), Why not me (Carrie), hold on, the girl I mean to be or Come to my garden* (Secret Garden), some things are meant to be (Little Women), yes my heart (Carnival), The glamorous life [Frederika solo-movie] (a little night music)

Mme Giry/Female Ensemble:

When there’s no one (Carrie), I read* or Loving you (Passion), will you* (Grey Gardens), Dividing day or Let’s walk (Light in the Piazza)

Les Miserables:

Jean Val Jean:

At the fountain*-SSOS, Soliloquy* (Carousel), Something was missing-Annie, if I can't love her-BATB, close every door-Joseph, now there is no choice-Jekyll & Hyde, I’m Martin Guerre*– Martin Guerre, no other way (Tarzan), the impossible dream, where in the world (Secret Garden), This Is The Moment (Jekyll&Hyde) , Being Alive (Company) , Finishing the Hat (Sunday in the Park)

Javert:

Falcon in the dive (Scarlet Pimpernel), soliloquy* (carousel) molasses to rum (1776) Kim’s nightmare (miss Saigon), nowhere left to run (amazing grace), anthem* (chess), look at Jekyll&Hyde

Bishop:

Pilate’s dream (JCS), Sweeney Todd/Turpin’s stuff, molasses to rum* (1776), Rains of Castamere* (Game of Thrones), Ol’ Man River (Show boat)

Marius:

il Mundo era vuoto, On the Street Where You Live” from My Fair Lady, Into the Fire *– Scarlet Pimpernel, Lily’s Eyes- Secret Garden, This is the Moment – Jekyll and Hyde, Why God* from Miss Saigon

Enjolras & students:

Private Conversation*, You Should Be Loved, The Devil You Know from Side Show, Why God” ** from Miss Saigon, I’ve Heard It All Before from Shenandoah, Guido’s Song* from Nine, I, Don Quixote from Man of La Mancha

Thenardier:

Guido’s Song (Nine), Reviewing the Situation* or pick a pocket or two– Oliver!, The American Dream (miss Saigon), molasses to rum* (1776)

Mme Thenardier:

Naughty Baby – Crazy For You, Deep Down Inside from Little Me, Loud from Matilda, Leave You *– Follies, Little Girls from Annie, Wherever He Ain’t from Mack and Mabel, Whatever Happened to My Part from Spamalot, Fine Life* from Oliver

Fantine:

Where is it written from Yentl, Heaven Help My Heart– Chess, Someone Like You– Jekyll and Hyde, Could We Start Again Please - J.C. Superstar, Aldonza* – Man La Mancha, Unusual Way - Nine, The Movie in the Mind- Miss Saigon, Your Daddy’s Son or Back to Before* - Ragtime, Forgiveness- Jane Eyre, Loving you (Passion)

Eponine:

A New Life* from J&H,What Kind of Fool Am I from Stop The World I Want to Get Off, Why Can’t I Speak? from Zorba, I Don’t Know How to Love Him - J.C Superstar, They Say It’s Wonderful - Annie Get Your Gun, As Long as He Needs Me - Oliver!, Hold On - The Secret Garden, With One Look— Sunset Boulevard, Back to Before - Ragtime, Stranger to the rain (Children of Eden), Loving you (Passion), unexpected Song or tell me on a Sunday (Song & dance)*

Cosette:

Happiness (Passion), Light in the Piazza — The Light in the Piazza, Come to My Garden – The Secret Garden, Embraceable You – Crazy for You, Falling In Love with Love – The Boys from Syracuse, Finer Things – Jane Eyre, Unusual Way* - Nine, My White Knight – The Music Man, Children of the wind (Rags), yes my heart* (Carnival), unexpected song* (Song & dance), tell me why (amazing grace), A TON of stuff from My Life with Albertine

Lil Cosette:

There’s more to life from Ruthless, The girl I mean to be* from Secret Garden, my lord and master (the king and I)

Gavroche:

Consider yourself or where is love from Oliver, Wick* from Secret Garden, Edgar’s stuff in Ragtime, Not while I'm around (Sweeney)

Urinetown:

Bobby:

Sit Down You’re Rockin’ The Boat*, Married” from Cabaret, Any of the prince’s songs from Once Upon A Mattress., Something From a Dream from Bridges of Madison County “My Unfortunate Erection” from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee and If You Were Gay from Avenue Q, My Bobby when I did it sang Out there from Hunchback & What do I need with Love* (TMM)

Cladwell:

The Legacy** from On The Twentieth Century}, Married from Cabaret, molasses to rum* (1776), dance with me, darling-Bat Boy,

Lockstock:

The Legacy and I've got it all from On The Twentieth Century, all I care about is love (Chicago), molasses to rum* (1776), me (BATB), You deserve a better life or private conversation from Side Show, The Way it ought to be (Tale of 2 cities), as good as you (Jane Eyre), dance with me darling* (Bat boy)

Hope:

Make Believe-Show Boat*, A home for you-Bat boy, Daddy's Girl (Grey Gardens), Goodbye little dream goodbye (Cole Porter), Goodnight My Someone – Music Man, Ribbons Down My Back – Hello Dolly, When I Marry Mr. Snow – Carousel, A Change In Me – Beauty and the Beast , A New Life – Jekyll & Hyde, It Might As Well Be Spring – State Fair, They Say It’s Wonderful – Annie Get Your Gun, Delishious - Nice Work If You Can Get It**

Pennywise:

What Ever Happened to my Part*- Spamalot(my Penny sang this), Anything that Ms. Strict* from Zombie Prom sings, Little Girls from Annie but that’s kinda overdone, A New Argentina - Evita , Morning Person- Shrek, Mr. Right from Triumph of Love, Down in the Depths on the 90th Floor-Cole Porter,

Little Sally:

My Party Dress from Henry and Mudge, “Disneyland*” from Smile, What It Means to be A Friend from 13 the Musical, “My Friend The Dictionary�� or “The I Love You Song” from Spelling Bee, “It’s a Perfect Relationship*” from Bells Are Ringing, A Home for You from Bat Boy, “Where In The World Is My Prince” from Miss Spectacular, “Change” from A New Brain, Calm (Ordinary Days), Little known facts (You're a good man, Charlie Brown)

Other female featured/Ensemble (Ma Strong, Becky, etc):

Disneyland” from Smile, A Home for You or Inside your heart from Bat Boy, A Change In Me – Beauty and the Beast, It’s a perfect relationship (Bells are ringing), Change* (A new brain), Life upon the wicked stage (show boat), Feelings (The Apple Tree), unexpected song (song and dance), They won’t let you in the Opera, A lot of jazz songs (Cole Porter in particular), a TON of Judy’s stuff* and Penthouse apartment from Ruthless!

Other male featured/Ensemble (Harry, McQueen, etc):

Any of the prince’s songs from Once Upon A Mattress., Dance with me darling** or let me walk among you (Bat boy), Rooster’s song* (Annie), look at comedy songs from Kurt Weill*, Cole Porter, Gershwins

Rent:

Mark:

I’m Not That Guy*, Public Life, or The Saddest Song from Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, Amazing Journey, Sensation, or I’m Free from The Who’s Tommy, I’m One or Is It In My Head from Quadrophenia, I’m Alive from Next to Normal, I who have nothing (Lieber & Stoller), Freedom 90 (George Michael), Can't get enough of your love Babe or my first my last my everything (Barry White), 6th Ave heartache (The Wallflowers), Know your enemy* or favorite son (Green Day)

Roger:

Don’t do Sadness* from Spring Awakening, Louder than words” or “See Her Smile" from Tick, Tick…Boom}, Iris (Goo goo dolls)

Collins:

Can't get enough of your love Babe* (Barry White), Can't make you live me (Bonnie Rait), real life** (Tick tick boom), old man river, bui doi (miss Saigon), Empty chairs

Angel:

Wig in a box* (Hedwig), stuff from Jersey Boys, Don't let me go (Shrek), Great balls of fire, a bunch of Bowie & Queen* songs, look at Kinky boots

Benny:

Favorite son* (Green day), I'll be here (Wild Party), let it sing** (Violet)

Mimi:

Saturday Night in the City from The Wedding Singer, Bring the Future Faster** from Rooms, Safe in the City from Taboo, It Won’t Be Long Now from In The Heights, Come To Your Senses* from Tick Tick …. Boom (May be overdone at Rent, but great for her)

Joanne:

Easy to be hard (Hair), Come to your senses, safe in the City, when you're good to mama (Chicago), My Strongest Suit (Aida)},,you had me (Joss Stone), something bad or i'm breaking down** [the end reminds me of we’re ok!](Falsettos), random black girl* (homemade fusion)

Maureen:

Easy To Be Hard from Hair, The Life of the Party** from The Wild Party, My Strongest Suit from Aida, Special from Avenue Q, My friend got the role with Ireland* from Legally Blonde (and play it up like Over the Moon), Acid Queen from Tommy, Touch-A-Touch-A-Touch Me from Rocky Horror, need a lover (Pat Benatar), let me come home* (Wedding Singer)

Male Ensemble:

I who have nothing (Lieber & Stoller), Freedom 90* (George Michael), Can't get enough of your love Babe or my first my last my everything (Barry White), 6th Ave heartache (The Wallflowers), Know your enemy or favorite son* (Green Day)

Female Ensemble:

Call from the Vatican (Nine), Saturday Night in the City from The Wedding Singer, “Come to Your Senses” from Tick tick boom (probably will be suuuppper overdone at a rent audition, Safe In the City” from Taboo, Look at The Who’s Tommy, I Will Prevail from Wonderland, Forever from Shrek the Musical, Anything Natalie sings in Next to Normal… or just any female song in that show, My Strongest Suit from Aida (only really good for Maureen), The Dark I know Well is overdone but good

Grease:

Sandy:

How Lovely to be a woman (Bye bye birdie), Anything Toffee sings in Zombie Prom**, happy to keep his dinner warm, love me tender or there's always me (all shook up)}, Lonely pew (Reefer Madness) Someday (Wedding Singer), you don't have to say you love me (Dusty Springfield), Inside you heart* from Bat Boy

Danny:

how can I say goodbye* (Zombie Prom), Mary Jane/Mary Lane (Reefer Madness), I don’t want to (all shook up), it takes two (hairspray), One last kiss (bye bye birdie), serve yourself (pump boys and dinettes), Edgar’s part *of Comfort and Joy [i have kind of a weird solo cut that could do the trick] (Bat Boy), look at Crybaby

Rizzo:

Spanish rose, I don't know how to love him, big spender (sweet charity), one night with you *(All shook up), nobody's side (Chess), you don't have to say you love me** (Dusty Springfield)

Marty/Female Ensemble:

A teenager in love* (Return from the forbidden planet), fools fall in love (all shook up), change (a new brain), an English teacher (Bye bye birdie)}, whatever Lola wants (damn Yankees), stuff from Bonnie&Clyde, you don't have to say you love me, wishing and hoping*, or Son of a Preacher Man (or anything she's done, really (Dusty Springfield), a tonnn of female stuff from Bat Boy, look at Shout! A Mod Musical, a lot of pop songs of the 50s and 60s.

Kenickie/Male Ensemble:

Stuff from catch me of you can, All shook up, me (BATB), a tonnn of Male stuff from Bat Boy, Jersey Boys, Footloose, a lot of pop songs of the 50s and 60s. Earth angels (crew cuts)

Legally blonde:

Elle:

Fly, Fly, Away” - Catch Me If You Can , “Fly Into the Future**” - Vanities, “On My Way” - Violet, “How to Return Home” - Tales from the Bad Years}*

Emmet:

Freeze Your Brain” - Heathers, Wouldn't it be nice or I'll be here (Wild Party), Purpose (Ave Q), Marry me a little * Company), my next story (Glory days), They say it's wonderful (Annie Get Your Gun)}, let me walk among you (Bat boy), it took me awhile (John & Jen)

Warren:

Freeze Your Brain” - Heathers}

Wouldn't it be nice (Wild Party), The Green (Wedding Singer), Bye Room (John & Jen)

Vivienne/Brooke:

Candy Store” or “Beautiful” - Heathers, Pop!”- The Wedding Singer, Miss Byrd” -Closer Than Ever}

Margot, Pilar & Serena:

You’ve Got Possibilities”, “Getting Ready” - 13}

Pr. Callahan:

The pinstripes are all they see (Catch Me if you can), all I care about is love (Chicago), Sweet Charity,

Paulette:

Shy” - Once Upon a Mattress, “What Ever Happened to My Part” - Spamalot, “A Little Brains A Little Talent” - Damn Yankees , “As We Stumble Along” - The Drowsy Chaperone, The same old music** (Vanities), I ain't got time (Zanna don't), plain Jane fast ass (bare), Get out and stay out, change* (a new brain)

Kate & Female Ensemble:

Someday*- The Wedding Singer, Let’s Hear it for the Boy- Footloose, Mixtape- Avenue Q, Once Upon a Time- Brooklyn: The Musical, Cute Boys With Short Haircuts* or The Same Old Music or Fly Into the Future from Vanities

Grandmaster & Male Ensemble:

it takes two (hairspray), look at bring it on, Charlie’s stuff* kinky boots

9 notes · View notes

teddyswrites · 5 years

Text

me & you against the world.

WHO → blake davenport (@teddyswrites), angie romero (@aleswrites) with aurora and emma davenport.

WHERE → hotel room at havana, cuba.

WHEN → january 25th, 2019.

WHAT → aurora and emma goes to cuba to pay blake and angie a visit to figure out what they might be hiding only to uncover the truth.

There was a tiny part of her mind, very little, that told Angie that maybe she was exagerating. Aurora wasn’t going to kill her or Blake and there was a chance that her sister was so happy that she forgot about everything else. It was a light hope, but thinking in positive was the only thing that kept her from puking her heart out, quite literally. Stress was apparently a trigger for the nausea and the throwing up and it had left her laying in bed very still, with her eyes closed and trying her best to calm herself. "If she screams, you make me puke right in her face. Couting on you, kid" Her hand patted her belly lightly, with a little smile playing on her lips. She just hoped that Emma wasn't as hard as Rory when she was upset, because two were going to be too much. As the door opened, she opened just one eye and then closed it again when she confirmed it was Blake. "You will have to see them alone, since I'm about to die. Such bad luck you have"

the fact that aurora and emma were coming all the way down here to find out what him and angie might be hiding from them has blake nervous, wondering how to tell them that the real reason why they reconnected was because they are expecting a child together? it's not easy to share, no matter how close you are to people. he found himself standing in front of the hotel door, taking in a deep breath to slow down his heart rate which was going crazy before he walked inside the room and began to wondered around to see where angie could be. he listened to her voice, giving a wide grin when he saw her. "no, you're not leaving me alone with them. if rory is really going to kill me, i need you to be there as my witness."

Still with her eyes closed, Angie patted very lightly the empty spot on the bed beside her, asking him to come lay down with her. "i mean, she is a doctor. technically speaking, she could really kill you" a little smile played on her lips, twisting her head very slowly so she could face, but trying her best to keep the nausea as away as it was possible. It could be a very goo way to keep her out of the awkward meeting, but it wasn't reason enough to want more sickness. "i don't think she will. she likes your sister too much to become juliet and juliet. however, irresponsible children? she is gonna call us that a lot"

Blake made his way to the empty spot on the bed, laying down on the bed next to her and turned his head to face her. What she said did not comfort him at all; instead it made him more nervous and less exciting about their sisters being here. "You know, you're not helping like at all." The young man joked, leaned forward to softly pressed his lips against her forehead, wanting to play it safe. He didn't want to take any risk of possibly being covered with vomit. "Yeah, two irresponsible children who are going to raise a baby together. I'm sure she'll remind us every now and then."

Angie shrugged very lightly, but still giving him a smile. "It's a little bit funny" however, she took his hand on hers and rested them on her belly, praying that it would calm their baby a little bit. The girl closed her eyes for a moment, frowning for what was still to come. She wished they could had stay hidden forever, but they were going to have to deal with the whole thing a lot sooner than expected. "But we are not, right?" Her eyes grew concerned as she looked at him. "I mean, we are a little irresponsible for getting pregnant on accident, but not because we decide to raise the baby, right?"

the moment she took his hand and placed it on her stomach, it felt like all the nerves he was feeling about the awkward meeting with the girls seemed to have wash away. his thumb brushed against her stomach as the corner of his lip went up to form a small grin, still cannot believe that they are expecting a child. "of course, we're not. in fact, i think we're responsible for wanting to raise the baby together because we are going to give them a life filled with lots of love. rory might think we're irresponsible who don't know how to raise a child or think we're crazy, but who cares what she says because as long as we have each other, we're going to be fine being parents to our child."

Her frown was replaced with a smile, nodding. When they broke up, Angie had thought that Blake lost all the faith he had in them, but now, he seemed so sure that they were going to be okay, that it was imposible to not believe him. "Just try not to get in a fight with her either. That's not what we want. Her fingers moved above his hand on her stomach, her grin becoming bigger."Well, seems like I'm gonna have to cut your hand before you go, since it's the only way your kid doesn't give me nausea. Very sorry for your loss" That baby was already all over Blake, not that Angie blamed them.

Blake nod his head with agreement, willing to play nice and not say or do anything that would result to an argument with Rory. He wouldn’t want to cause a scene in front Angie and Emma. “I’ll try my best to be good, but I hope you know I’m not gonna be quiet if she disrespect you or the baby. I mean, I know she won’t, but still.” No matter how many times she tried to push him away, he never gave up hope on them. He loves her too much to do that. A light chuckle fell from between his lips and said, “But I’m gonna need my two hands once the baby comes. Who’s gonna calm them then?”

It worried her a bit, that Aurora's usual easy mouth would get her into an argument with Blake, but if she started to think too much about it, there would be another trip to the bathroom and that was not ideal. "I know she won't. We just have to give them some time to adjust to the idea and the fact that is a /good/ thing" Angie knew that once the initial shock was over, Rory and Emma would be as happy as they were with this baby. "You can calm them with one hand, it's not hard" The corners of her lips went up, but her gaze softened when she looked at him. "I'm really gonna miss you when you are gone. And not only because you hold my hair when I puke, but it /is/ a nice bonus"

He really wanted to believe Angie, but from the little time that he got to know her best friend and talked, Rory likes to speak what is on her mind and has zero chill. She seem like the type of person who doesn't give a care if her honest answer sound harsh. That can be a good thing for several reasons, but not always. He has a hunch of what she is going to say to them regarding the baby news and right now he doesn't want to hear any negative, especially around Angie because stress can be critical for her during the first three months. Blake said nothing, but nod his head instead. "but it's going to be hard to change the diapers with one hand." A deep sigh fell from his mouth, he didn't really thought about the idea that he has to leave soon. "I'm gonna miss you too. When are you gonna go back to LA?"

Her eyes stayed on him, fingers still moving about the hand that was on her belly. She was going to miss these moments too, when it was only the three of them in their little happy bubble. It wouldn’t be like the other times, since now they were actually in speaking terms but it was still weird. "In a month and a bit more. With all the free days I'm taking, I'm a little behind with schedule" What was a problem if she wanted to come home as soon as possible. "I promise I will update you with everything that happens, even the little things"

Even though, he consider a month being a long time from being away from each other, he could survive given that they spend two months with no communications. It's different now since they are talking. He slowly nod his head, his eyes looking up at the tiny brunette in front of him and gave a wide grin. "You better. Even if it means FaceTiming me during your next doctor's appointment." The young man chuckled lightly, looking away for a moment when he heard the notification sound on his phone and noticed it was a text message from his sister. "They're here." And soon enough, he heard a knock on the door which made his heart race. "Maybe if we don't answer, they'll think we're not here."

As soon as she heard the door, Angie stayed really still for a moment, trying her best to not feel sick. "Go open, I will try to sit here on the bed" Very slowly, she sat down and rested her back on the wall. It wasn't even a second after he had opeend the door and Rory had already bursted inside, eyes scanning the room, and Angie could point the exact moment she saw her in bed. "I am not dying, I promise" Rory was quick to sit on the bed, eyes full of worry. /'You look like hell and do not tell me this is normal'/. Her eyes then moved to Blake, closing it slightly. /'You are still so dead, don't think I forgot' /

Blake looked at her with a raised eyebrow, not wanting to get up to answer the door and face a furious blonde. He took in a deep breath before exhaling it and got up from the bed to open the door for the couple. As soon as he opened it, he was quick to move away from Aurora's way and saw her head toward the bedroom while his sister followed behind her. He stood behind his sister to protect himself from Rory. "But she's not dying. So, everything is fine." He pretty much repeated Angie's answer. Emma looked behind her brother and shook her head, alerting him to not say anything else. /'So, which one of you guys are going to tell us the truth as to why you guys are here?'/

Even after she had said she was fine, Angie could feel Rory's eyes moving all over here to check any other weird indicator. It was getting on her nervesb. "Please stop looking at me like that if you don't want me to throw up on your face" The corners of her lips went up for a little bit, just to sigh and know that they just had to get over this. "That would be me" She took a deep breath and her whole attention went to her sister. "I called him and I know I promised I wouldn't but it was important. Like really important. Like there is baby involved kind of important" She saw the confusión on Rory's face, then the realization but before she could say anything, Angie went to hold her hands quickly. "And you can be mad and upset but you can not scream because I get very sick when I'm in distress and no one wants that" Rory tried to control herself, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water. /'You... You are having a baby'/ "Yes, we are. Me and Blake are having a baby" /'After you had the most messy break up int the history of break ups' / "Rory, we..." /'That left one of you almost without being able to move from her bed and the other almost an alcoholic! And now you are telling me you are having a baby! How irresponsable can you both be?!' / Angie closed her eyes slightly, knowing this was exactly what she expected from her sister. This was gonna be horrible.

Blake stood behind his sister as he listened along to the girls having their conversation, feeling his heart beat faster when she told Rory about the baby. The anticipation on how she was going to react was killing him; even though, he already has a hunch on what her reaction was going to be. He tried his best to keep his mouth shut, biting his inner cheek. It was hard to stay quiet and not say anything because to be honest, she doesn't really have a right to say on how they should raise a child. He couldn't stand on the sidelines any longer and watch the mother of his child get yelled at. "Look, I'm sorry that us being irresponsible pisses you off, but you can't come down here and ruin this happy moment for us. And yeah, we broke up and put each other through hell during the two months, but come on, who hasn't felt miserable after losing the person you know you're supposed to be with?" He made his way toward the bed and sat down next to Angie, taking her hand to hold. "Instead of focusing on the negative, why don't you focus on the positive which is the baby... And that you guys are going to be an aunt." His eyes then looked over at his sister, knowing she of all people would understand the situation since they went through a similar situation with their sister, Rachel, when she told them she was pregnant of Bella. /'I'm happy for you guys.'/

Angie was really at lost in what to say to Rory, who seemed to have a reply ready for anything that she could imagine to justify themselves. As soon as she heard Blake's voice however, she wanted to keep him from talking, knowing that it would probably be ten times worse. The older girl had always being the more rational of them both, but when she was angry, Angie was the one who always had to calm her temper. It would be really not use for a fight between them, but if he had something to say, he was more than free to do so. She grabbed his hand tightly, nodding to let him know that she was agreeing what he was saying, but her eyes stayed in her sister. Honestly, she was glad to have Emma's support, but there was another one she needed the most. Aurora, on her part, was really hard to close her mouth, biting the inside of her lip. Her eyes moved from Angie to her girlfriend, knowing that she had may step out of the line a bit, but not entirely sure that she was wrong to do so. /'Did you have an appointment?'/ Objective Aurora was way better than angry Rory, so Angie would take it. "Yes, everything is in order" /'Pre-natal vitamins?'/ "Already taking them" The blonde sighed deeply, shaking her head slightly as she put her hands on her hips. /'It's not that I want to ruin this, or that I don't think you should be together, but you two just went one position down in my list of priorities. I want you to get your act together because of that baby, that we all want to have the best life ever/' The corners of her lips went slightly up, but her eyes were still a bit severe. /'I just want the best for my favorite kid'/

In a way, Blake could understand why her best friend reacted the way she did when they announced the baby news to her because like she said, they just broke up and out of nowhere, they are expecting a baby together and there are still issues to be resolved in order to make this really work between them. The last thing he wanted to do was get involved, but he just couldn't stand back and stay quiet any longer. He needed to get his voice heard. His eyes looked up at the blonde in front of them, holding his breath in as he waited to hear what Rory was about to say next. What came out of her mouth took Blake by surprise, he didn't expect her to be calm but was relief because he probably couldn't handle her being angry at them. "And don't worry, we will. This time we are taking things /really/ slow, trying to make this work because the last thing we want to do is have our child be living in two different households or make them feel like they were a mistake." His head turned to look at Angie, forcing the corner of his lips to grow into a small smile. "I love Angie and our baby, I'd never leave them nor will I make them feel like they weren't good enough." The young man said before leaning forward to give her a kiss on the lips.

Angie's eyes moved to Blake, nodding to his every word because it was true. The thing she wanted the most was this kid to have the best life and to grow surrounded by love and by the family that neither of them were lucky enough to have. Seeing him like that, so sure in them, made Angie fall even a little more in love wit him, if that was possible. She really couldn't had find a better parent for her kids. Aurora, however, wasn't worried about Blake at all. Her eyes found Angie again, making her feel as small as she was when she ran away from home. /'I'm sure about you, that's not my point, Blake'/ Angie moved on the bed uncomfortably, not being able to have eye contact with her sister. / 'You know you have to do to figure your shit out, Angélica'/ "Oh God, I'm not going to... I'm not supposed to have any stress, so no" /'After the first three months, you are good to go. You know you need to'/ "I'm not going to talk with my mother. Not now, not ever and this is the end of the discussion" There was no room for argument and Rory knew that, so she just sighed deeply and rolled her eyes. /'You are going to be such a bossy mom. Good luck, Davenport'/

Blake looked over his shoulder when he knew exactly who Aurora was referring to, deep down he agreed with what she was saying. The main reason why they broke up was because of her mother and how she didn't want to become like her, so if they wanted to give their child the best life, then she has to face her mother at some point. But given how stubborn she can be, that day might not ever happen anytime soon and she made of it by saying it out loud. He knows in his heart that Angie is going to be best mother who is going to love their kid unconditionally and not leave them like what her mother did to her. He saw the way she was with his niece, Bella, so she was ready to be a parent. "Jeez, thanks." A light chuckle fell from his mouth, not saying anything else. Emma walked up behind Rory as she reached to take her hand, lightly pulling her arm to let her know it's time to go. /'Rory, we should probably let them be, but you guys better let us know if you guys need anything and keep us updated.'/

There was no time she was more grateful for Emma, knowing that she was finally gonna get some peace. /'We book a room in another hotel for a couple of days. We will call them for dinner'/ Angie nodded and hug Emma goodbye, just before doing the same with Aurora, even when they both were still slightly eyeing each other. The fact that they didn’t see each other eye to eye wasn't an issue, it was just normal. "Well, at least we survived to that" The corners of her lips went up when the two girls were gone, resting her back against the board of the bed.

Blake got up from the bed to hug his sister before they walked out of the room and released a deep sigh as he turned around to face Angie, not really sure what to say next. "Yeah, I'm happy Aurora didn't light me up in flames like she said she would." The boy joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit. He went back to sit down next to the tiny brunette, lacing their fingers together in hope to calm her down after the conversation they had with their sisters. "Are you going to be okay?"

Angie hold his hand tightly, feeling a lot more tired than she thought she was, and a little bit sick. "I will if you stay here with me for a little bit, but maybe after you pass me the trash can so I can have it here in case of emergency" The girl gave him a little smile. "With both if those things, I think I will be perfect" And if they never got to talk about her mother again because it was so completely unnecesary. Her mother was no part on her life and specially, not part of her kid's life. Why would she shuld have a second chance?

He looked up to her with a wide smile, nodding his head to let her know that he's more than okay with the idea of staying a little while longer. Now is not best time to leave her alone especially after the big talk they just had with Aurora moments ago. So, he is willing to stay here for as long as she needs him. "Yeah." He got up from the bed and grabbed the trash can before handing it over to Angie, "Here you go." Blake then lay down on the bed next to her, moving close to put his arms around her for comfort.

Angie put the trash can on her side of the bed and the got closer to him, moving into his arms and resting there. Her stomach move awkardly, making her groan and hide her head into Blake's chest. "Can you please tell your kid the stress is over and I'm just trying to cuddle with dad?" Honestly, she was so glad that Blake was able to stay with her a little bit longer, but she just couldn't feel like this for the rest of her first trimenster. She had to work and travel so she could finish the deal with Coca Cola, even when staying as away from Aurora and her ideas didnt seem like the worst possible scenario. "Can we stay in bed forever?"

Once she moved close to him, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He let out a light chuckle and said, “I could but I’m gonna need to be by your belly because I don’t think the baby could hear me from here.” As much as he loves the idea of staying in bed forever and not worry about the world, but at some point they need to face whatever problems we might have. They also need to work twice as more now because a baby is expensive and they need a lot of attention. They’re going to need to put the baby first. “You know, we can’t, but I’m sure we could make an exception and stay in bed for rest of the day.”

Angie rolled her eyes, giving him a look. "We all know you are tall. No need to say it every three seconds" sighing, she closed her eyes and let him hold her close, knowing that no matter how much they wanted to, it couldn't last forever. She had to come back to shooting as soon as it was possible and he had to come back to his job, and they would be apart once more. Here was to hoping she at least felt better before he left. "Rest of the day is fine" Without thinking, she pressed herself even closer. "I'm sorry we had to go through that with my sister. She means well"

Blake could tell now is not the best time to start cracking jokes from the way she rolled her eyes at him, taking that as a clear sign to stop talking. A deep sigh fell from between his lips as he continue to keep her close to him, cuddling the remaining of the day before it was time to start leaving. He was quick to shake his head because he knew deep down she meant well and was just thinking about the baby. “It’s okay. I’m just glad she got whatever that was on her chest out in the open.”

Her eyes looked up at him, moving her hand on his chest. "I really doubt it was all that was. on her chest, but I don't think she thought you would interfiere. Thank you for that, by the way" Pressing a quick kiss to his chest, she laid her head there, sighing deeply. At least, above all, they were together now and on the same side. A united front, that would be very useful when it came to the baby, specially when they were older. "I just wished it was just the three of us sometimes. A little far away from everyone"

He went back just enough to look down at the brunette as he listened along to what she wanted to say before going back to his original position, feeling her head resting against him. His plan was to not say a word and let the talk involved around the girls because he felt he would have made it worse if he did, but couldn’t when he heard the things Rory was saying. Blake wasn’t going to stand by the sidelines and let her talk to Angie like that; even though, their sisters. “I had to jump in, I wasn’t going to let her or anyone talk to my girl/the mother of my child like that.” The boy commented, letting out a sigh. Sometimes he wished it was just the three of them, to escape from everything and everyone but unfortunately, they can’t always have it their way. “Maybe we could once the baby is here, take a little vacation.”

A little smile played on her lips while she hear him talk. Before Blake, the only person who always had her back was Rory, but now it felt completely diferent with him. Having more than one person o your side was comforting. "I like when you call me your girl" She whispered, still smiling lightly. That nickname would had bother her before, but now it only made her feel safe and loved. Like she belonged to someone and while it was scary and she was still so not ready for the implications of it, for now it was enough. "Maybe" She bit the inside her of cheek, feeling her whole mood completely go down and her eyes get full of tears. It was probably the hormones that made everything sadder than it had to be. "I just wanted her to be happy for us. And I... I get it. I would had said the same thing and be just as mad but I just... What if her parents are mad too? Or your mom?"

Blake was glad that she was cool with the idea of him calling her 'his girl' because he remembered the last time he did, it caused awkwardness between them. One of the few things they argued constantly about, but it seemed like things between them are slowly changing which puts a smile on his face. He knew deep down she was going to open her heart to him, to allow him to love her. It might have took a while, but happy it did. "Well, that's because you are my girl. Though, you might have to share that title if we were to have a girl." He could tell the tone of her voice changed which caused an eyebrow to raised, listening along to the conversation. It breaks his heart to see her like this, especially because he know how close she is with Rory and wanted nothing more than for her to be happy about the baby news. "She is happy for us... Maybe not right now, but she is. She will be filled with excitement once the baby is here. I doubt her parents are going to be mad. They're going to be excited, same goes with my mom. They're going to be excited to be grandparents."

"I can deal with that" It was impossible to not imagine Blake with a little baby girl and feel her entire heart melt at the image. That little girl was going to be so lucky to have him as her dad and if he was boy, on the other side, would have the best little companion. Either way, she had no doubt that Blake would move into his dad role as easy as breathing. Her? Maybe not so much, and that's why she needed the support of her family. She pressed herself impossible closer to him, trying her best to not cry but it was a lost cause. "This is all my fault" She understood his words, but they weren't really helping her to feel better. It wasn't him, it was just everything else. "If I hadn't leave, if I wasn't... If I was just normal, we would be happy in our apartment and everyone would be so fucking happy for this baby. This is all my fault"

He could feel the embrace getting little tighter and the voice crack as she spoke was a clear sign that she was hurting. He hated seeing her like this because it made him feel useless, not being able to take away the pain and hurt she must be feeling especially since the topic of her mother was brought. His eyes glanced down at the tiny brunette and quickly shook his head, no one was really at fault regarding their break up or why they didn’t work out in the first place. Maybe things didn’t work out because of the timing or the pressure, many reasons why. “What are you talking about? You are normal and we were happy at our apartment... well, whenever we didn’t talked about the future. It was both of our faults.”

He didn't get it, but Angie had also a hard time trying to explain how she felt. "I know we were happy, and I know that if I had handle things different, we would still be happy there. None of this would had happen because we would had never break up" But no, she had to have mom issues that were apparently too big to just forget about them. "Everything that happened, all the bad, it's on me, Blake. You just dealt with it the best you could, nothing is your fault"

#m: blake davenport.#ft: angie romero.

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prettymuchimagines · 6 years

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silence [z.k]

Request: Can you write about zion when something is really bothering you but you won't talk and you shut him out for a very long time pretty please 🌸💗

Word count: 1,075 masterlist

“They’re just friends, calm the fuck down,” you repeat to yourself over and over while driving your car through the full and busy LA traffic.

Earlier that day you found a picture of your boyfriend with another girl. He’s been getting pretty cozy with her and being the jealous girlfriend, you’ve already made plenty assumptions about her and the relationship with Z.

Currently, he’s back home visiting family in Canada, while your work kept you in the city of angels because you didn’t really get breaks. You couldn’t just drop everything to leave for two weeks to go traveling or spend time with your boyfriend during the holidays. Sure you would get Christmas off but the days surrounding the 25th you couldn’t manage to leave.

While you’re driving home from work, you end up passing multiple restaurants that cause your stomach to growl louder after each sign. Ignoring the sound and the feeling of your empty stomach was getting harder to do as you continue to drive. Giving in to the want of fast food, you pull into your favorite place of all. In N Out. Zion always told you it was so cliché and you couldn’t agree more, but the delicious food couldn’t prevent you from purchasing your favorite meal.

Pulling into the garage at your small yet costly LA apartment, you notice two packages on the front porch. Grabbing the sack full of your greasy and unhealthy dinner, along with your purse, you make your way up to the door to enter your place. Leaving the items on the counter, walking over to pick up those packages, your Corgi Oscar had torn up his toy while in his kennel.

After bringing the packages in, you clean up the mess of wet, white, fluffy cotton insides of the lamb chop toy. You feed Oscar and then sit at your table to eat your dinner before it becomes too cold.

Getting your phone out, you text Zion to check up on how his day went. You really wanted to know about how his new “friend” was doing because you honestly felt replaced. You should be there with him this Christmas, not some girl he has known for his whole life.

How was your day Z?

Knowing your boyfriend doesn’t check his phone that often, especially because he is spending time with family, you finish your dinner and cuddle with Oscar on the couch. You’ve currently been interested in watching those cooking shows on Netflix. Clicking on the series Zumbo’s Just Desserts, you dive into the world of baking and food, forgetting about your responsibilities as an adult.

It has been four days since you last talked to Zion. Work has been work, doing the same routine every day. Oscar has been enjoying the attention you usually give to Zion. Not meaning you ignore your dog but when Zion is here, you two are kind of in your own world. Plus, Oscar usually is sleeping when he’s here.

Zion has been active on his phone because he posts to Instagram almost every day and get’s on Snapchat. You sigh at the message he never replied to. Turning the phone off, you decide to take Oscar on a hike through the Hollywood Hills. Putting off the worry of your boyfriend who hasn’t checked on you for almost a week.

Zion’s flight landed late last night, around 2:20AM so he went to his hoem and slept. Originally you were going to pick him up and crash at your place, so you could spend time together the following day.

It’s been almost a full week since he last talked to you and now he wants to talk. You’ve been waiting for him and he ignored you - so you decide two can play that game.

“Hey Zion” you answer the phone while driving to the mall. You really wanted to just have a girls day with your sister and mom, so you’re meeting them there.

“What’s wrong? You almost never call me Zion. Y/N is everything alright?”

“I’m fine. I need to go, busy day today.” With that you hang up the phone and park your car, ready for a day of no boys.

“Y/N has been so short with me the past few days,” Zion confesses to Brandon and Edwin, while sitting with his head in his hands and phone in his lap.

“Did anything happen before you left for Canada? Has Y/N said anything to you, hinting at she’s upset?” Edwin asks.

“I don’t think so. We’re in a really good place, so I don’t understand what’s going on.” He sighs and looks at the conversation history.

“Shit.”

“What’d you do?” Brandon asks, looking at Edwin worried.

“Why assume it was me man?” He scoffs, looking at his bandmate and friend.

Edwin chimes in, “Was it you?”

Mumbling a quiet “yes”, Zion hands them his phone. “I didn’t respond to her message because I didn’t see it. It’s been like a week.”

Zion takes his phone out and calls you again, going straight to voicemail. “Her damn phone is turned off.”

It’s been three weeks since your last real conversation with Z. You’ve been short with him, ignoring him like he did to you. You enjoyed a glass of wine, some popcorn, and reading a good book before heading to bed for the night.

Your doorbell is rung at 11pm and you grouchily stumble out of bed to open the door. Ready to yell at the person waking you up late at night. The door swings open and you see your boyfriend in ripped jeans, classic black beanie, and matching denim jacket. Staring at the ground, you clear your throat so his attention is brought up to you.

“I’m so sorry. I’m such an ass, I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner.” He confesses while pulling you into a hug. “I’m really sorry baby.”

“Z, I was childish for not talking. I just decided to stoop down the level of revenge. I wanted you to feel what I felt, being so ignored.”

He’s holding you so close to his body, the familiar sound of his heartbeat fills your body with warmth, as the two of you stand in the crisp, cool night air.

“Can we go inside and talk about this? I’ve missed you so damn much, it’s felt like hell the past month.”

You nod and pull him inside, shutting the door and locking it.

THE END. I really hope you guys enjoyed this! Sorry i’ve been MIA lately, work has gotten all of my focus the past month or so. There is so many works sitting in my drafts that I hope to get out soon for y'all to read! Let me know what you think and as always, requests are still open!

#zion kuwonu imagine #zion kuwonu #prettymuch #pretty much imagines #prettymuchimagines #prettymuch imagines #corgi #dogs #in n out #canada #traveling #requests #requested #relationship #relationships

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garethito · 6 years

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You know... I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while, and yesterday's tag thing that you did with those Bale gifs only like... fueled? My curiosity? Lol, if that makes sense. Could you like... relive? The Champions League final from this year for us? Like, your perspective on it? Or maybe even the actual whole day of the final? Sorry, God, I know this is weird, but I just love how you tell stories from your life! I have seen you do it with some other anons once!

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this like, you guys always send me such interesting questions and Im so??? and OMG no this is not weird stop this is such a wonderful question to ask!! And omg you liked how I told the stories to those anons that is so sweet thank you so muchhhhh ❤️❤️💝❤️💘💘💞💞💘

But also this is making me really emotional I dont think I will be able to write this without tearing up but here we go!!! I was at school today and we had a special day so we didnt make any classes, so I had time to formulate an answer to this, and to complete it at home 💞

Quick WARNING?? Yes I am perfectly aware of how crazy and overdramatic this whole story sounds, but the thing is that this is how I truly feel about this day in my life. So yeah lol. Football is basically my life!

I would like to start this by saying that the day of the 26th of May 2018 is the most important day of my entire life as a football fan. There is nothing that could even come close to this. Absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I cried like in that night. Never. Absolutely never. I have looked at my life as a person, at my hardest times, when I cried a lot, but not even that can even slightly compare to the amount of crying that I have done on that glorious day of May 7 months ago. When I say crying, though, I dont actually mean crying, no. I mean violently sobbing, screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking and feeling numb. But in the best way possible, the happiest tears that I ever shedded.

My actual perspective, like you said, though, starts from the 2nd of May, a day after our semi-final second leg against Bayern. From that day, until the 26th, my mind, my body, my soul only thought about the final. I could not even focus on the Clasico on the 6th, neither on the last La Liga match. I was so fucking nervous, words are not sufficient to describe….. At least once every 2-3 days I would go to the bathroom with severe stomach aches and sit there until I would try to calm myself down so that my grandmother wouldnt get worried. I thank God, the Universe, or whoever you think invented life for the fact that highschool had nothing special during that period, just a few tests, that I got the best grades on, because had there been something big, I would have surely failed. That was a nightmare. Just think about it. Horrible La Liga season, then those fucking shaky as fuck second leg matches against Juve AND Bayern. I was literally so pessimistic that I am scaring myself right now thinking about it. All these bad scenarios played through my head ”What if Zizou loses his job? What if this will be the start of our downfall? What if this is the last Champions League final we will play? What if, what if, what if….”. I always tried to tell my brain how stupid I was, that we are Real Madrid and that we will win, like we always do, that we are the best fucking team in the Universe and that nobody even comes close to being like us. But its like these voices in my head wouldnt stop, it was so scary.

Come 25th of May I was an actual lifeless corpse. No matter how much I tried to call my best friend, who was in Bulgaria at that time, and telling her that I cant take this anymore, and her telling me that its going to be okay like it always is, that she doesnt really know my team well but she knows we will win, no matter how much of that was happening, I couldnt fucking stop being nervous and constantly thinking about this match.

On the morning of the 26th I woke up with a severe headache at about 8:30-9 AM. The only things that I remember from that whole day are the constant empty feeling, the amount of times I listened to Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas and the amount of pictures, videos, promotional/support videos I saw and watched. I called my friend one last time and I told her that now I am optimistic, that we will win.

My whole emotional state was ruined, however, by Gareth not starting. I dont need to explain the whole February-May Gaz-Zizou situation because I think everyone knows it too well by now and what I fucking felt about it. I have never been so enraged in my entire life. After all he has done, still no place in the starting XI. Though, this is pretty much the only thing that has ever angered me about Zizou. I love that man too much, I dont think there will ever be a coach that will ever come close to him, a coach that I will ever love as much as I loved him, but this whole situation really, really angered me. As I said, not going to get into details, I think that is enough. Though, I tried to only focus on my hardly achieved positivity about the match.

The match started and my emotional state reached its lowest point. I couldnt take it anymore, I felt impossibly sick from being so nervous, I got the most severe migraine ever, my eyes were literally about to pop out ugh again, remembering that gives me chills. Dani got injured, and I got angry again, because he didnt deserve it, the World Cup was literally about to start like God give this man a break!!!

Halftime at 0-0, my optimism grew, believe it or not. I felt like we will have more urgency in the second half and that we will win this.

The second half came, with me just desperately hoping for a goal. Because we were playing so well, we deserved a reward!! And it did come, with Benzemas goal, God I felt so relieved and happy. I have seen people saying that his goal was not good but? You literally take everything that is being offered to you in a Champions League final! He scored, he gave us a goal, we were 1-0 up, and I was literally screaming from joy, I was shaking so much and I was the proudest person alive. God, I love my team. Then, Liverpools equalizer came. I didnt think anything of it. I wouldnt get rid of my optimism. I was looking at my boys and I knew we would win.

And Oh My God, here we fucking go.

Minute 61. Gareth comes on. I was so grateful that he at least got to play 30 minutes, I literally only wanted to see him. At that time, considering everything that was happening, I was already emotionally starting to prepare for his departure to another team. I was watching him in those moments, flashbacks through my mind of all the glorious times I got to see him, all of his goals, everything.

And then…

All of a sudden…

62:58

That moment. The moment in which my soul has definitely left my body. The most beautiful moment I have ever lived in watching football. The moment in which I was the proudest person alive. A moment I will never, ever, ever forget, for as long as I get to live. The moment I have literally seen history being made, right before my eyes. The moment in which I literally evaporated, left the Earth, idk how to explain this but I hope you understand me. My idol, that had suffered so much that season, scored a fucking bicycle kick in a FUCKING UCL FINAL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The happiest, most full of joy, best, most emotional moment. Ever. No exaggeration.

My perspective on this? Oh well, brace yourselves. If you think everything that I have written so far seems insane, get ready for this.

I was on my bed, watching the game, shaking. I saw the passes, beautiful passes, that ended up with Marcelo controling the ball (incredibly, as he always does, my Brazilian sunshine). I saw him swaying to the side, and then passing a high, aerial ball in the box. Gareth came up to meet it, with… a scissor kick. That he scored. I literally fucking exploded like there is no other word. I jumped off my fucking bed and I ran literally across the house and came back, making the most inhuman noises ever I swear. I came back to my bedroom and I collapsed on the floor and I literally started fucking bawling my eyes out, and even that seems like an understatement. Screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling my eyes out, literally all of it happening on the floor. My grandmother literally came in and she thought something happened to me, but then I just pointed to the screen and she understood lmao. And from that point onward I cannot say anything anymore, because I dont remember anything else but me on the floor, literally. After like 15 minutes I hardly even managed to get back on the bed, and guess what?

82:41

AGAIN.

???? I dont know what to say anymore. Like he literally toyed with everyone that night, he didnt care about anything. Again, with a pass from Marcelo, he literally goes from FAR FAR FAR away and he shoots and… scores?? How much do you think my poor fragile self can handle? Like, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT?? Except for bawling your eyes out even more, if thats even possible? Its been 7 months and I still dont have words for what happened that night, like 2 goals ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS LITERALLY DEAD LIKE ??? I LOST EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MY SANITY THAT NIGHT. 2 goals, 2 goals in 20 minutes, he was about to get a fucking hattrick. A fucking HATTRICK IN HALF AN HOUR, but Karius unfortunately stopped that shot.

The match ended and… I dont remember anything other than barely seeing the screen, I literally had a blurred vision.

We fucking won it. We DID IT. THE DECIMOTERCERA WAS OURS.

In the moment in which Sergio lifted it I… I dont have words, did I go into another Universe, did I ascend, did my soul leave my body I dont even know but what I do know is that I spent the rest of the night, up until like 6AM, crying my heart out. And this is what I mean by ”I have never cried so much in my entire life”. Like I have never spent a whole night crying.

I went to bed at like 6:30, woke up at like.. 10?? I think you can imagine how I woke up, I literally felt like I was going to die but I spent the rest of the day catching up on everything that happened the entire night.

And then, of course, the celebrations, Cibeles, Bernabeu… of course your sensitive girl bawled her eyes out again lol!

Every day ever since it happened, I have always been thinking about this day. About all of it. No point in counting how many times I rewatched the goals lol! But I think you can imagine haha 💘

So yeah, this is pretty much it DSLKFDKJFKDFJKDFK. The story about my best ever day of watching football I made it unecessarily long (Im so sorry). I think the only conclusion that I can get from this is Hala Madrid Y Gareth Y Nada Mas lol! 💘💘

#asks #Anonymous #gareth bale #real madrid

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awhilesince · 3 years

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Monday, 28 June 1830

11 50/..

off from home in fiacre at 6 55/.. – at the amphitheatre at 7 35/.. so obliged to sit in the benches with the students – Desfontaines Leçon 17ième from 7 1/2 to 8 1/2 – breakfast – Leçon 32 Brongniart from 9 to 10 40/.. – Leçon 19 De Blainville from 10 50|.. to 12 23/.. – Leçon 14 Geoffroy St. Hilaire from 12 1/2 to 1 20/.. –

from 2 to 4 1/2 wrote and sent off to the Embassy 4 pages to ‘Miss Maclean 43 Mornington Place, Hampstead road’ – my letter a very Kind one – mention the likelihood of my going with Lady Stuart de R– (Rothesay), but do not know exactly when – will write, and Tell her, as soon as I know myself – say she is coming at the very worst season of the year, and does not give Paris fair play – I myself do not like it in the dog days, and tho’ I thought and think the change would do her good, yet she ought not to begin with the smells and heat of July and August – glad enough to get away myself at that time – do not exactly say this to my aunt because it might unsettle her, and her moving is next to impossible – beside such is her state of health, and the melancholy falling off of her companionable powers, I doubt whether Miss Maclean would not feel the want of me more than I should feel comfortable to fancy she did – think she had better not come till my return – Heaven direct her for the best – very kind letter –

then disappointed of the milk I was to had at 3, and being thirsty took a glass of very weak brandy and water and some biscuits – slumbered a little – wrote out the first 9 lines of Saturday Till 6 10/.. –

off at 6 25/.. – fiacre from Place Maubert and home at 7 – found letters from the Embassy 2 1/2 pages from Miss Maclean the 21st ‘my birthday aged 46’ the very age at which she had always fancied she should die – she says she is better but owns her cheeks are very hollow, and that she had had another very bad cold since writing and indirectly that she is very unfit to move – she says when she crosses the channel it will be ‘in spite of everyone’ – they all want her to go home – ‘they really torment me with their plans’ – she means to spend 3 months with me (‘I feel as if the change of air and scene would do me great good’) and then if she lives spent part of the winter with her friends the Lawrences who are returned – she complains ‘my head has for some days past a vile pain in it’ – In fact, I do not think she will continue very long – her foreboding’s are likely enough to be realized that she will not outlive this year that she is 46 –

2 half sheets from Miss Hobart – Charles Stuart is most obliged to me for pointing out such a nice route, but he could not spare money enough beside it is now fixed that he goes to Ostend starts as today… Brussels Namur, Liège Aix la C– (Chapelle) Cologne to Frankfort and there quits his friend to join Lady S– (Stuart) de R– (Rothesay) here for the Pyrennees …

‘I can imagine nothing more comfortable and pleasant than your party if you join your forces to those of Lady Stuart’ …. It seems Miss Maclean ‘had spit a quantity of blood in consequence of the lump bursting in her throat beside the outward oozing by Mr Long’s stuff application’ – Lady Stuart ‘has the worst opinion of her, but Sibbella herself never seems to ‘despair’ –

in the other 1/2 sheet Miss H– (Hobart) says Miss Maclean

‘has most unwillingly come to the resolution of giving up all thoughts of Paris for the present ……. Aunt Stuart tries daily to prepare me for the worst ……. but I must say she was more cheerful today (the 25th) than last Sunday …. she still looks forward in hope to the autumn to join you in Paris – after your rambles’ –

Alas! that autumn will never come to poor dear Sibbella, and I shall see her no more in this world – the thought of going over to her is out of the question – there would be danger to myself in her present state, and under my present circumstances I have no right, no excuse, to sport so uselessly with life – well! all things draw to an end here, and there is almost an end to Earthly friendship with Sibbella – Romantic dream! farewell my dearest Sibbella’ – I shall perhaps remain yet a little while to remember and enjoy the good you have done me, and then perhaps the same mysterious mansion shall contain us both! –

In Vere’s packet, a hurried 1 1/2 pages from Lady Gordon in style far different from that of Vere or Sibbella –

‘I have said nothing to nobody, so don’t you – but supposing that next October I met you at Paris – what should you say to proceeding via Nice to winter at Rome?’

2 carriages would hold us – must have governess and children at meals on the road, but not when settled –

‘Besides tho’ married to each other – would be a fashionable pair, and be as independent as we chose, and each do her own way – what do you think?’

going to her ‘own people’ in Herefordshire but if I relished the plan would make arrangements for letting her house etc etc ‘R.S.V.P’ ‘yours sincerely CDG– (Caroline Duff Gordon) always direct here’ – Mind not much in consonance with my own! But that is not the obstacle – my aunt is not in a state (evidently more and more anasarcously inclined) for me to give in to this plan – I am not quite sure that I should like it? must be at home to settle about leaving Paris, or Taking another house, or arranging to stay where we are next year at this time – yes! must be at home in May –

how would Lady Stuart de Rothesay like the plan had I better stick more to her I am as wordly in this respect as Lady Gordon the money too is a consideration would it answer thus to marry a person of such manner as I know everyone does not like I doubt whether she stands high with Lady Stuart de Rothesay I shall refuse but most amiably and civilly –

dressed – dinner at 7 25/.. – mentioned the hopelessness of Miss Maclean’s coming, and having heard from Lady G– (Gordon) but said not a word of her plan – nor shall I name it – my poor aunt would be nervous if she thought there was the least chance of my really going so far so soon – read the paper –

came to my room at 9 – writing notes of today etc coffee at 10 – came to my room at 10 1/2 at which hour Fahrenheit 57 1/2° – rainy morning till after 8 – then frequent and heavyish showers till after 4 – and then pretty fair in the evening – wrote note to Monsieur Monod to say young Waterhouse would be here in a month, and that if Monsieur Monod would write to Mr W– (Waterhouse) (gave his address) all particulars of Extra masters etc I thought the business would be arranged at once –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/13/0057, SH:7/ML/E/13/0058

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