#we all have a roger callahan in our lives
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Ok here me out! Fillmores parents try visiting Fillmore to convince him to come home because it looks bad to the public for a politician son to disappear and they see sarge like
Fillmores dad :"ah yes my son being friends with this upstanding young man will help straighten him out "
Sarge: Don't be suspicious Don't be suspicious don't be suspicious
Fillmore was having a bad day. He and Sarge had argued that morning, and his customer intake had been lower than usual. The gift-wrapped bow on top of everything, though, was the fact that his father had tracked him down.
He looked almost comical: Roger Callahan had always been an extremely buttoned-up individual, yet here he stood against the psychedelic lavender-washed backdrop of the Taste-In.
“For someone so smart, you could’ve done a better job of covering your tracks,” his father said flatly, “For God’s sake, at least change your name the next time you run away.”
“I didn’t run away,” Fillmore bit back. “You kicked me out.”
His father looks back at him challengingly. “Did you not drop out of Berkeley?”
“What I do with my time and money is none of your concern,” Fillmore replied. “What the hell are you doing here, anyways?” He added, somewhat snarky, “Have you ever heard of the telephone? You could’ve called.”
“I’m taking you back to New York,” his father replied, a tone of finality to his voice. “People have started asking questions about where you’ve gone, and we can’t afford a scandal.”
Fillmore stared back at him, floored. “What, I don’t get a say in this?” He snapped, “Maybe I’d prefer to stay gone.”
“Son, I’m not going to tell you twice,” his father said, “This is serious! People are beginning to notice!”
Fillmore scoffed. “Not my problem.”
Just then, the beaded curtain was pushed aside. Fillmore nearly snapped his head to look, uttering a short we’re closed—Unfortunately, it was Sarge that was standing there. He looked halfway terrified, looking between them as he began to back away.
He said, “I’ll come back—”
“No, no, you’re cool,” Fillmore said after him. “My father was just leaving, anyways.”
Sarge froze, one foot behind him in the doorway. He mumbled, “I just, uh… I seem to have lost my wallet. Have you seen it?”
Sarge had likely come to talk about their argument earlier, as his wallet was very clearly in his front-right pocket. Fillmore seemed to sense this, and gestured with his head. “You can check inside.”
Sarge ushered past them, looking as though he wanted to avoid being seen. He nodded his head vaguely in the direction of Fillmore’s father as he passed.
“A friend of yours?” his father asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes." Fillmore nodded shortly, unwilling to divulge any other information.
His father hummed, evidently surprised. "He's normal."
"Very."
Sarge returned a moment later, wallet in hand. “Found it,” he said, smiling nervously.
Roger Callahan turned on him. “You," he said. "What's a respectable young man like yourself doing wasting time with this—" he gestured vaguely in Fillmore's direction, "—vagrant?"
Fillmore cut in, "I said he's my friend."
"Speak when spoken to." His father shot him a rather dangerous glare, before looking back to Sarge. "And that's all?"
Sarge stood a little straighter, a rather challenging expression crossing through his eyes. "If not friends, what else would we be?"
Roger Callahan scoffed, "Like you don't know."
Fillmore, again, spoke up, "Go back to New York, asshole."
His father swung around, furious, "I won't say it again—"
"No, you won't," Fillmore interrupted, "This is my property, and I'm calling the sheriff if you don't scram." He gestured in the direction of the door, picking up the telephone.
"You'd call the police on your own father?"
"Try me."
Roger Callahan took one step forward. Fillmore dialed one number on the rotary. Another step, another number. He pressed the receiver to his ear, ready...
"Christ," his father said. He turned back to Sarge, incredulous. "You, young man— do me a favor and straighten him out, would you?" He added, "Maybe you'll rub off on him."
Sarge exchanged glances with Fillmore. "I'll, uh... I'll sure try."
"You—" Roger Callahan continued, wheeling around and quickly advancing on Fillmore. "You will be coming back to New York if it kills me."
"Cool," Fillmore said, indifferently, "Hope it does."
His father blinked at him, before storming out. It was another moment before the car left his lot, and another still before its tires screeched down the highway.
Across the room, Sarge deflated. "What the hell?" he asked.
"Right?" Fillmore replied, "What's his problem?"
Sarge whistled, and neared the Taste-In's counter. He seemed to peer out the beaded curtain for a moment, as though he was making sure that Fillmore's father had actually left.
"So," Fillmore said, "Promise you'll straighten me out?"
Sarge groaned. "Please, shut up."
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Twenty-Seven Steps, Chapter 12: In The Year Of ‘39 [December 1975]
Series summary: Callahan is an American living and studying in London. When Freddie befriends her and brings her into Queen’s inner circle, she finally learns what it’s like to have a family. But love and loyalty aren’t always black and white, and Calla must navigate conflicting desires and obligations as she accompanies John, Roger, Brian, and Freddie through their interwoven lives.
Chapter summary: Calla answers a question.
Chapter warnings: Language, sexual content (not too smutty), so much fluff it’s ridiculous tbh.
Link to chapter list HERE
Taglist: @the-borhap-boys @pinkmarvel
“Hold still, Fred.” Calla drew the black ink over his eyelids as he laid across the couch, his feet propped up on pillows, his face serene and taking in the luxury of the moment: roadies relaying booze and snacks into the room, Jimi Hendrix blaring, Freddie’s closest friends—whom he thought of as his family, Calla knew—surrounding him with their gossip and their laughter. Chrissie was cradled in Brian’s long arms on the other couch, Roger perched on the edge of a pool table and chatting easily with two groupies, John poking fun at Roger for wearing sunglasses inside (they were prescription and John knew that, but the groupies didn’t). Paul and several roadies were knocking back bottles of beer and smoking, the fog filling the room. Mary hadn’t made it yet—she had a shift—but she would be in the crowd for the show that evening.
It was the first day of December. A Night At The Opera was off to a strong start, and Bohemian Rhapsody was getting more radio play by the hour. Calla and John had rented a small flat in London, and she was just beginning to believe that they would be able to afford to keep it. Queen were home in London tonight, but tomorrow they would be in Berlin, and then Paris, and then Stockholm. Calla would go with the band, following them over invisible borders and through throngs of screaming fans, following them wherever fate led.
“Alright, Freddie. You’re done. You look fabulous.”
“Tell me something I don’t know, darling.” He sat up and fluffed his hair with gleaming black fingernails. He started asking Brian something about the set list, and Chrissie came over to sit by Calla. She collapsed into the couch, her cheeks flushed from wine, her black floral dress billowing around her.
“How are you, love? Finish unpacking yet? Just in time to jet off again?”
“Unpacking is jarringly easy when you don’t own anything.”
Chrissie laughed. Her diamond wedding ring glinted on her left hand; it had belonged to Brian’s mother, Calla knew. “Tell me about it. We bought our first bedframe last week. What a luxury!”
“Welcome to the lifestyles of the rich and famous.” Calla sipped from a bottle of hard cider. She reached for a stack of fashion magazines that Roger and Fred were always leafing through. Chrissie would be coming on the tour too, at least to the next few cities, and was consequently in high spirits. “Have you seen these ones?”
“Pass me a few, will you love?”
Calla split the stack and gave the top half to Chrissie. She locked eyes with John across the room, and he smiled at her. It hurt to look at him, for him to be so far away; but Calla was determined to hold onto her role as a friend and advisor to the band, not just as John’s girlfriend, so she tried to avoid public displays of affection when she could. Even when John was wearing his leather jacket, a glass of whiskey and clinking ice in his hand, his eyes all over her; even when she couldn’t think of anything but being with him, their bodies entwined like stardust.
Roger handed John a paper and pen, shattering the spell.
“What’s this?” John asked.
“It’s a survey. Fill it out.” Roger gave the same to Freddie and Brian. “It’s for the fans, it’ll be published in a magazine.”
“Favorite musician,” Freddie read. “This is ridiculous! Me, obviously.”
“You should write that,” Brian said. “Good and humble.”
“I don’t care what you write, just fill it out.” Roger bent over the pool table, scribbling onto his survey. “This is important, it’s promotional material.”
“I hate these!” John groaned.
“Hobbies,” Brian read. “Playing guitar...?”
Freddie glanced over at Brian’s survey. “You spelled ‘being a bore’ incorrectly.”
“Fred—!”
Chrissie smirked at Calla as the boys bickered, and Calla winked back. “Oh!” Chrissie cried suddenly, turning the magazine she was reading so Calla could see. On the glossy pages were wedding dresses: lace and white and ivory and satin. “Did you see this?! They’re gorgeous!”
“Oh I love that middle one! The one with the huge poofy skirt? I love that. I’d want to look like a princess. Massive dress, sparkles everywhere, a tiara...it would be wonderfully obnoxious.”
“Not obnoxious!” Chrissie protested. “Just...well, like a queen.”
“Yes, lovely Callahan, it would have to be a royal affair!” Freddie called over, waving his hands dramatically. John looked on, a little amused, a little thoughtful, a little some other emotion that Calla couldn’t quite read. Anxiety? Impatience?
“I just love weddings,” Calla said. “Speaking of which...Fred, when are you and Mary tying the knot? You’ve been engaged for eons!”
“Probably not too soon, dear.” There was something in Freddie’s voice that was heavy, perhaps even sorrowful. Calla didn’t pry; she often felt that Freddie was wrestling with some invisible half of himself, a clandestine addiction he couldn’t quite kick, a dragon on his back. Calla didn’t much care what Freddie did or who he was as long as it brought him happiness, but she did hope that Mary’s heart wasn’t broken in the process.
“So you like weddings, hmm?” John’s arms were crossed over his chest, his smile teasing. Roger’s pale eyes followed him, a frosted beer bottle clutched in his fist. The other voices in the room grew quiet.
“I do,” Calla answered, amused but uncertain.
“If you like weddings so much, why don’t you just have your own?”
Calla laughed and looked at Chrissie, who mirrored Calla’s shock: her eyes were huge, her mouth agape. Calla and John had never discussed marriage. It had only been four months, for christ’s sake; and Calla—while she undeniably imagined settling down one day with a house of their own and children and promises of forever—was enjoying their rootless, whirlwind romance so much that asking for more almost felt unreasonable. How lucky could she be, this shy orphaned girl from Chicago; how much joy could fortune really throw at her? “Well...that’s not quite how it works.”
“No, really,” John said, stepping closer. “Just have your own wedding. What’s your ring size? A seven and a half?” He turned to Roger. “She’s a seven and a half, right Rog?” He reached into the pocket of his jeans and brought out a small, velvet box. He opened it, and poured a white gold ring with an amethyst stone into his palm. “Here...” John took Calla’s left hand—she was too stunned to move, or even speak—and slid the ring onto her wedding finger. “There,” he said, beaming. “Now you can have your own.”
Calla shook her head, struggling to breathe, staring at the amethyst that glimmered in the smoky room. Beside her, Chrissie screamed. The space was filled with awestruck sighs and cheers.
“Callahan!” Freddie shouted, and bolted to her side. “Oh my god, it’s gorgeous!”
“And purple!” Chrissie gasped, taking Calla’s hand in her own. “Your favorite!”
“What do you say?” John asked, and though he was smiling Calla suddenly saw that he was nervous. She stood and flew into his arms, lacing her hands around the back of his neck, her lips meeting his, soft and warm and inviting.
“Yes, of course, yes, a million times over.”
The room erupted into applause. Brian appeared next to Chrissie, caressing her long brunette hair, his eyes sparkling, elated and sentimental. Roger wrapped his arm around a stunning redheaded groupie and stroked her shoulder absentmindedly. Fred clasped his hands over his mouth, his eyes streaming.
“Did you know that I brought them together?” Freddie squealed, turning to the groupies and roadies. “It’s true, they never would have met if not for me. I’m practically their matchmaker. I couldn’t imagine a better wife for my Deaky than lovely Callahan. Oh, my babies are growing up so fast!”
“I don’t want to wait,” Calla whispered to John. “Can we do it at Rockfield Farm?” That was where he had confessed his love for her, that was where they first made love; it was the cradle of their relationship, of Bohemian Rhapsody, of the album that was changing all of their destinies, dragging them from mere achievement into legend.
John was surprised by the idea, but not disagreeable. “That’s perfect. Perfect. Let’s do it on your birthday, on Christmas Eve. Candles and holly everywhere. You’ll be the best present I ever got.”
The tour manager popped his head into the room. “Five minutes until showtime!”
“I’ll find you right after,” John said to Calla, running his thumb over her cheek. “Then you’re coming home with me. I love you, Calla.”
“Ahhh!” Chrissie cried, drumming the arm of the couch. “We have to start planning!”
“Poofy queen dress and tiara, remember!” Freddie said, pointing sternly at Chrissie as he strolled out of the room. John kissed Calla once more, then followed after Freddie.
“Congratulations, dear,” Brian said, ruffling Calla’s hair before departing to take his place on stage. Chrissie reached out and grasped her hand.
“Come sit with me! Now we really have a reason to study up on bridal fashion.”
Before she did, Calla looked for Roger. He was balanced on the edge of the pool table, his legs swinging, his eyes on the groupies. They were taking turns playing with his hair. Calla remembered what it was like to touch Roger’s hair, to be held by him, to be understood completely. She still wore the ring he had given her on her right hand every day. She ached for him to see her, to acknowledge her, to be happy for her, to reaffirm that they were friends and always would be. Instead, Roger emptied his beer, hurled the bottle aside, pulled his jacket over his shoulders, and left the room without glancing at her.
He turned his back on me, she thought, melodramatically, ridiculously; but it felt true.
~~~~~~~~~~
Calla plodded aimlessly around her apartment, her slippers rustling against the hardwood floor. It was December 23rd. The Doors’ Love Her Madly drifted from the record player. Chrissie had just left; they had worked side-by-side for hours, Calla finishing the hem on her dress, Chrissie writing out place cards with her perfect penmanship. Everything was ready now: the bags packed, the dress and suit secured in opaque garment bags, the decorations and hairstyling equipment and makeup crammed into boxes. All there was to do was go to sleep, wake up, and hop on the bus to Rockfield Farm.
Tomorrow would be an eventful day, not just because Calla was becoming a wife. Queen had a concert scheduled for 9 p.m. at the Hammersmith Odeon in London. They would drive to Rockfield Farm in the morning, have the wedding, eat lunch and cake there to celebrate, and then hurry back to London for the show. When Calla asked if they should change the date of the wedding, John had flatly refused. “I know you want a Christmas Eve wedding. You deserve that. You’re getting that. We’ve played after hours on the road before.” Now, John was out drinking with some friends from college, and Calla was walking in a daze, marveling at all the places she’d been and where she was going next.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Calla unlocked it cautiously. “John? I’ll murder you if you lost your key!” But when she opened the door, it was Roger who stepped inside.
“Rog!”
“Hi,” he said, swaying. He was extremely drunk, his blond hair tousled, the top buttons of his black shirt undone. She could see his chest, firm and sunless, glistening with perspiration.
“What are you doing here?! You have an early morning tomorrow! You’re supposed to be sleeping. Or hooking up or partying somewhere, or whatever rock stars do.”
“You have an early morning too, but you’re up.” He peered around the apartment. “So’s Deaky, apparently.”
“What can I do for you, Roger?” He had been distant for all of December. Though his interactions with the band were largely unchanged, he barely looked at Calla unless she spoke to him first. This was maddening, but more than that it was painful. Living without feeling close to Roger was like being in a world without summer: there was still joy, there was still promise, but something vast and beautiful was missing.
Roger shifted his weight from one foot to the other, ran his hands through his hair, and finally met her eyes. “Are you really going to marry him?”
“What? What’s that supposed to mean? What’s going on with you?”
“Answer me,” he said.
“Of course I’m going to marry him. The wedding is tomorrow, in case you forgot. How much have you had to drink...?”
“He’s not a saint either, you know. If you’re marrying him because you think he’ll sit faithfully by your feet for the next fifty years, you can forget it.”
Calla shook her head, stunned. “That’s not why I’m marrying him. Why are you tying to hurt me?”
“I’m not,” Roger said. “I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to explain, I’m trying to tell you...”
“Tell me what, Roger!”
He stumbled onto the couch. “Nothing. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m here, I shouldn’t have done this.”
Calla sat next to him. “What’s going on with you, Rog?” she asked softly. “Tell me. I want to help you.”
He stared at his hands, wringing them. “I guess I’m just feeling a little...light on love lately.”
Calla laughed. It was preposterous. “Are you serious? You? You have plenty of love, Roger. You’re surrounded by it. Freddie and Brian and John, your fans, your girlfriends, your mum and sister, me...I love you, Roger. Nothing is going to change that. You’re not envious of me, are you? Of marriage? You wouldn’t even enjoy a wedding, the last thing you want to do is settle down!”
Roger smiled reluctantly. “No, I’m not envious of you at all.”
“Well there you go then. Stop this. Cheer up. You have everything, fame and love and more women than you could ever dream of fucking. So you have nothing to be gloomy about.” She went to the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove.
“I’m sorry, Cal,” Roger said. “I’m really sorry. I’m just drunk. I hope I haven’t upset you, especially not tonight.”
“You haven’t. I’m quite poised about it all, actually. It’s eerie.”
“Is there anything I can help you with?”
Calla chuckled as she burrowed through the cupboard. “No, and you’re in no shape to help even if I did need you.”
“Ah. Yes, that’s true.”
When the tea was ready, Calla brought Roger a cup. “Here. Hydrate yourself.” He took it in his hands, sipping carefully, the steam hovering in the space between them. “You’ll come tomorrow, won’t you?” Calla asked. “I want you there. I don’t think I could bear it if you weren’t there.”
Roger blinked at her. “Of course I’ll be there!”
Calla sighed in relief. “Thank you, Roger.”
“I’ll be there and wonderfully jolly, don’t you worry.”
“Food, wine, dancing, music, road-tripping...what will you possibly have to not be jolly about?”
Roger smiled at her, wistfully. “Nothing at all.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Gorgeous,” Mary whispered, putting the final touches on Calla’s makeup: a little power here, a smudge of rouge there. Calla’s hands were folded and resting in her lap. She was still in her silk robe. Her hair was full and curly, arranged in a meticulous half-updo, and topped with a crown of holly.
“You look amazing, Calla,” Chrissie said, snapping a polaroid picture. “He’s going to die when he sees you.”
Freddie knocked on the doorframe and stepped inside the bedroom. It was the same room he had stayed in when the band recorded at the farm. “How’s my queen?”
“How does it look?” Call asked anxiously, patting her hair and cheeks until Mary swatted her hands away. “Too much?”
“You’re magnificent,” Freddie breathed. He pointed to the garment bag hanging in the closet. “Ready for the dress? Deaky makes a dashing groom, if I do say so myself. I’m quite proud of him.”
“Don’t say too much!” Mary scolded. “She hasn’t seen him yet.”
“Oh yes, hush hush. First look. Very romantic. The dress?”
“We’re ready for it,” Chrissie said. “Step out Fred. We’ll call you in when she’s ready.”
Chrissie unzipped the garment bag and hauled out the dress. The bodice was white lace and long-sleeved, the skirt a cloud of tulle and high-waisted. Calla threw off her robe and stepped into the dress. As Chrissie closed the zipper, Mary fluttered around Calla, fluffing her hair, straightening the holly crown, putting in the diamond earrings Calla’s grandmother had left her. Chrissie slipped white satin slippers on Calla’s feet.
Mary stood back to admire the full vision and gasped. “Perfect! Freddie, come see this!”
Fred reentered. He was wearing a violet-colored velvet suit. Many of the guests were wearing purple or silver, Calla and John’s favorite colors. “Oh my god, she’s an angel!”
“Stop that!” Calla said, blushing mercilessly.
“One last thing...” Chrissie pulled the veil from the closet and stood behind Calla to place it. She pushed the comb behind the braided bun of the half-updo. “Whoops, a little lopsided...” When Chrissie pulled the comb out to reposition the veil, a thick strand of hair escaped the updo and fell messily to Calla’s shoulder. “Oh, shit!”
“Oh no!” Mary cried. “Fix it, Chrissie!”
Flustered, her hands trembling, Chrissie reached for the rogue strand.
“Don’t move!” Freddie commanded. He took Chrissie’s place behind Calla. Chrissie went to stand beside Mary, gnawing on her fingernails, cheeks flushed. They watched Freddie silently. He gently finished lifting the comb out of the updo, then took the escaped hair and wrapped it around the teeth. Once it was secured, he replaced the veil perfectly.
Chrissie sank down onto the bed. “Oh, thank god!”
“It’s okay now?” Calla asked.
“It’s perfect,” Mary said, beaming. “You’re perfect.”
“Thank you,” Calla said. Glancing in the full-length mirror in the corner of the room, she barely recognized herself. It wasn’t that she looked so different: same eyes, same shape, same hair more or less; all these things were accentuated, surely, but not so divergent from the person she’d always been. But the symbolism of it all, of the dress, of becoming a wife to the man she had loved for years, of the friendships that had brought her to this day, of the triumphant set of her shoulders...that was something new. “Thank you all so much.”
“Are you ready, lovely Callahan?” Freddie held out his hand to her. She had asked Freddie to walk her down the aisle; he was the closest thing to a father or brother she had. She assumed he was ecstatic to share the limelight with her. There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen—Calla and John wanted the whole affair to be quite relaxed and informal—so Freddie was the only guest with a special role.
Calla, smiling, took his hand. “Okay, showboat. I expect you to distract everyone so they aren’t all staring at me.”
“I have bad news for you, darling. Precisely no one is going to be looking at me today.”
Chrissie and Mary quickly brushed their hair and powdered their noses before rushing out the door. The ceremony would be held in the barn beside the farmhouse. Chrissie tapped Calla’s shoulder as she left. “You made it, kiddo. You’ll do great. I’ll see you soon.”
“I love you, Chrissie.”
“Love you more, Callahan.”
When they were gone, Freddie handed Calla her bouquet: holly and purple calla lilies. “Okay, darling. It’s showtime. And don’t you worry, I’m a professional.”
Calla was worried: she wasn’t a performer, she wasn’t someone who liked attention. She hated feeling eyes on her like spotlights. “I’m scared, Fred.”
“Oh shut up. You’re gorgeous. Everyone here is a friend. It’s a very short aisle. You’ll be with Deaky before you know it. And don’t you want to hurry up and snog him for the first time as his wife?”
That made Calla laugh. “Okay. Let’s go.”
Freddie led her through the house, out into the cool December air, across a short bit of grass, and then to the door of the barn. Calla could hear voices and music inside. She hadn’t asked for much concerning her wedding, but she had asked Brian to bring his acoustic guitar. He was in there plucking away, playing a soft romantic melody, waiting for her to arrive. They were all waiting for her. Calla’s breath caught in her throat.
“Lovely Callahan, look at me.” She turned to Freddie. “You’ve survived far worse than this. This is a happy day. It’s going to be perfect. All you have to do is smile for me and we can go in.”
Calla stared at him, astonished. You’ve survived far worse than this. Did he know all she had been through, all the secrets she guarded so fiercely? Had Roger told him? Had Freddie put the pieces together himself? In any case, Calla realized he was right. Her struggles were over now. There was only love and light and peace ahead.
Her painted and glossy lips curled up into a smile. “Let’s go, Fred.”
He smiled back, a truly genuine smile, showing all his teeth. “That’s my girl.” He opened the barn doors and led her inside.
Immediately, there were gasps and sighs and the clicking of cameras. The barn was full of friends and family: of Queen, of the boys’ parents and grandparents and siblings, of several EMI employees and John Reid, of Calla’s friends from college and Biba, of John’s friends from childhood to university. As Calla and Fred walked to where the minister and John stood at the head of the aisle, under an arch of holly and pine, Freddie whispered to her: “Perfect, good, excellent, just like that, there you have it, almost there.” Calla barely heard him. Her eyes were only for John; everyone else in the room slowly faded away. Her husband was in a white suit, his shoes polished, his hands clasped anxiously, his smile huge and open, like the sun rising and uncovering every secret of the earth. As she approached, her arm in Freddie’s, John mouthed to her: You are so beautiful. I love you.
“Who gives this woman to be wed?” the minister asked when she arrived at the end of the aisle.
“I, Freddie Mercury, friend to the bride and groom, do.” He kissed her on the cheek, then took her bouquet and freed her, taking his seat in the front row beside Mary. John reached for Calla and pulled her to him. As they stood—their hands embraced, their eyes full of each other, the rest of their lives stretched out in front of them like open water, brimming with speckles of light and promises of unimaginable adventure—Calla thought of the years they’d already spent together, as friends, as lovers, as soulmates; of waffles at midnight, of jokes whispered drunkenly in the early hours of the morning, of songs written and sang, of the innumerable memories they shared with Freddie and Brian and Rog. This was John. This was her best friend. And this was the start of the life they would build together.
The minister spoke briefly. He asked Calla to repeat some words, and then John. Finally, he asked them to say “I do.” After they did, there was that miraculous conclusion: “You may now kiss the bride.”
John clasped her cheeks and kissed her, deeply and passionately, as the barn exploded into applause. The world melted away, like wax dripping down the side of a candle. What barn? What city, what country? Her whole world was right here, holding her face in his hands, his lips moving seamlessly with hers like the waves of the ocean.
Next came dinner, roasted chicken and potatoes and glazed carrots and homemade bread slathered in honey butter. As the rest of them ate, Brian and Fred managed an acoustic version of You’re My Best Friend. Then Brian played ’39, a song that Calla loved in all its haunting, lovely mournfulness.
“In the year of '39
Assembled here the volunteers
In the days when the lands were few...”
Although it was supposed to be a stripped-down version with just Brian, Roger snatched the microphone during the middle bit and sang his falsetto, making Calla’s eyes water with laughter. The guests clapped and cheered when they were done. John kept his arm around Calla’s waist, whispering to her, kissing her cheeks and her neck and her collarbone. It seemed impossible that he would ever get enough of her.
Finally, they cut the cake, a two-tiered red velvet with cream cheese icing and fondant holly leaves. John gingerly fed her a piece with his pale, elegant fingers, not wanting to disturb her makeup. She returned the favor, sliding a sliver of cake neatly onto his tongue. He kissed her then, and she could taste heat and sugar and lust, and she ached to be alone with him.
As Calla and John bid their guests farewell and thanked them for coming, Freddie and Brian loaded their wedding cards and gifts onto the bus. While John was occupied saying goodbye to his mother, Roger came to Calla, wearing a shy smile. He had attending the wedding stag, which was a surprise to Calla; she couldn’t remember a time Roger hadn’t gone to a party with at least one gorgeous woman on his arm. He was wearing a pale blue suit with a silver pocket square and purple calla lily boutonniere.
“Congratulations, Cal. It was a beautiful wedding.” He kissed her cheek, though carefully, as if he was holding something back.
“Thank you so much, Roger. For everything. I love you. I’m full of love, I’m just bursting with it.”
He ran the back of his hand over her cheek, down her neck, tracing the soft underside of her arm. She looked at him, questioning. Rog shook his head, so subtly it was barely perceivable. “It suits you,” was all he said, and then he was gone.
In the farmhouse, Queen, Calla, Mary, and Chrissie changed hurriedly out of their wedding attire and into concert clothes. Then they piled into the bus, garment bags slung over their shoulders, and it was off to London they went. As the bus sailed through the countryside, Calla rested against John, his arms locked around her waist. Freddie, Brian, Rog, and Chrissie played Scrabble as Mary flipped through magazines. Freddie played the word dowry, and it gifted him the winning points. He thanked Calla and Deaky for the inspiration.
At the Hammersmith Odeon, Calla clapped and cheered in the front row with Mary and Chrissie. As night fell over London and Calla watched John up on the stage, strumming his bass and filling the hall with magic, she couldn’t stop thinking: He’s mine, he’s all mine, it’s just me and him forever. And she felt like Dante; like she’d seen hell, but it was time for heaven now.
Afterwards, in the back of the limo that shuttled the two of them home, John ravaged her, tearing down her black tights and slipping into her as she moaned against his neck, their bodies slick with sweat and desire. His fingers frantically stroked her clit as he pumped in and out of her, building towards an explosive climax. When he came, only seconds after she did, tumbling into mindless bliss, he collapsed onto her chest. He whispered to her, breathlessly: “This better be the best fucking birthday you’ve ever had.”
Calla laughed hysterically, nodding.
Then he placed his hand over her heart. “I’m home.”
#borhap fanfic#bohemian rhapsody movie#joe mazzello!john deacon#john deacon x reader#ben hardy!roger taylor#twenty seven steps#twenty seven steps series
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George Floyd’s Legislative Legacy
By Madeline Thulin, University of Colorado Boulder Class of 2020
April 7, 2021
After the death of George Floyd on May 25, 2020, the “George Floyd Justice in Policing Act of 2020” was introduced to create more police accountability and increase racial equity. Roger Fergusson, CIA of TIAA said of Floyd’s death that, "The haunting video of Mr. Floyd's last breaths is a sobering reflection of this national crisis. ...This is a time when we must embrace our differences and become more inclusive. No group should ever be targeted for racism, harassment or other form of discrimination.” [8]
George Floyd, a black man from Minneapolis, was killed by white police officers. Floyd was accused of buying cigarettes with a counterfeit $20 bill. The four police officers—Derek Chauvin, Thomas Lane, J. Alexander Kueng and Tou Thao—were fired the day after Floyd’s death by the Minneapolis Police Department. Derek Chauvin, the officer who knelt on Floyd’s neck causing asphyxiation, was charged with third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter on May 29 [1]. According to the Minnesota statute, third-degree murder charges result when an individual causes the death of a person “by perpetrating an act eminently dangerous to others and evincing a depraved mind, without regard to human life” [10]. An individual found guilty of third-degree murder charges faces a prison sentence of either no more than 25 years or a fine of no more than $40,000, or both. According to the Minnesota statue, second-degree manslaughter occurs when an individual “creates an unreasonable risk, and consciously takes chances of causing death or great bodily harm to another” [10]. An individual found guilty of second degree manslaughter faces imprisonment for no longer than 10 years or a fine of not more than $20,000, or both [10].
On June 3, more serious charges of second-degree murder charges were brought against Mr. Chauvin. According to the Minnesota statute, an individual who causes the death of a person “by perpetrating an act eminently dangerous to others and evincing a depraved mind, without regard for human life”. An individual who is found guilty faces a prison sentence of no more than 40 years [10].
The other three former officers have been accused of aiding and abetting second-degree murder by the Hennepin County prosecutor [1]. Aiding and abetting second degree murder applies to “an individual who assists in a crime, but does not commit the crime himself” [9]. In Minnesota, an individual found guilty of aiding and abetting second-degree murder faces imprisonment of no more than three years, or $5000 in fines, or both [11].
Mr. Floyd’s death precipitated a nationwide civil movement focused on racial equality and law enforcement accountability. One of the Black Lives Matter platform encouraged mass participation in order to “join the [Black Lives Matter] Movement to fight for Freedom, Liberation and Justice” in “support of the movement and our ongoing fight to end State-sanctioned violence, liberate Black people, and end white supremacy forever” [2]. Floyd’s death became a uniting symbol nationwide and globally of institutional racism. Individuals and corporations supported legislation which would result in police reform, and of “overdue reparations to Black Americans” [3]. Floyd’s death also raised awareness of other tragedies based on racism such as Breonna Taylor’s death. This increased awareness of troubling racial inequality in the United States is resulting in legislative changes nationwide as well as prohibiting racial profiling at federal, state and local levels.
The major legislative change due to George Floyd’s death will result from the H.R. 7120 “George Floyd Justice in Policing Act of 2020” after consideration by the Senate. This act “addresses a wide range of policies and issues regarding policing practices and law enforcement accountability. It includes measures to increase accountability for law enforcement misconduct, to enhance transparency and data collection, and to eliminate discriminatory policing practices” [4]. This act also increases culpability measures for police officers which makes it easier to convict a law enforcement officer due to misconduct while limits qualified immunity as a defense for police officers. Qualified immunity in the United States allows immunity to police officers who are performing discretionary duties. By limiting qualified immunity for police officers, officers have less protection from private civil action. This act also increases the power of the Department of Justice which can now “issue subpoenas in investigations of police departments for a pattern or practice of discrimination” [4].
It includes a section on racial profiling sparked by the civil rights and discriminatory nature of George Floyd’s death. The bill creates a “framework to prohibit racial profiling at the federal, state, and local levels” [4]. Additionally, new requirements for law enforcement officers and agencies have arisen. These requirements include training in an implicit bias program established by the Attorney General [15]. In addition, racial profiling is illegal with the Attorney General creating regulations at a state and local level. Federal law enforcement officers or agencies are required to wear body cameras or risk appropriate disciplinary action. Finally, law enforcement officers and agencies must report data of use-of-force incidents. Each state and Indian Tribe is required to take an audit and send their reports to the Attorney General [15]. Implicit bias training allows a person access to the knowledge of how much implicit bias they have on a given topic. The reason implicit bias is important is that once a person knows their implicit bias, they can work to remove it or can take their biases into account. This can decrease incidents of racism and increase equality. Implicit bias training for law enforcement officers will allow the officers insight into their own bias. This allows the officer an option to work in a more equitably fashion. The provisions of this act increase accountability on law enforcement officers.
The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, NAACP, supports the “George Floyd Justice in Policing Act of 2020”. The NAACP is “the largest and most pre-eminent civil rights organization in the nation” [5]. Because the NAACP focuses on civil rights of non-white individuals, their approval of the “George Floyd Justice in Policing Act of 2020” demonstrates the widespread support of this civil rights bill. They specifically approve of the provisions that address police conduct such as qualified immunity, data collection on forceful police encounters, police body cameras and uniform policies that specify the use of force. The NAACP also supports the provisions of the bill related to community. The limit of military equipment on U.S. streets and an end to race and religious profiling are included in the image of a healthier community.
One of the reasons the George Floyd killing was so shocking was because it was such a nonchalant and gross show of police overreaction against Black and Brown people. That said, qualified immunity exists. In the Pearson v. Callahan, “qualified immunity balances two important interests—the need to hold public officials accountable when they exercise power irresponsibly and the need to shield officials from harassment, distraction, and liability when they perform their duties reasonably” [12]. Qualified immunity is meant to protect public officials which would allow them to do their job effectively. Not all police undergo implicit bias training. While implicit bias training improves knowledge and awareness of bias, research indicates “it may not have much effect on police incidents involving minorities” [13]. Additionally, there have been discussions over using profiling in larger scale policing because profiling can effectively narrow down suspects in criminal investigation [14].
George Floyd’s legacy almost one year after his death is profound. On March 3, 2021 the House passed the “George Floyd Justice in Policing Act” with a 220-212 vote. "Never again should an unarmed individual be murdered or brutalized by someone who is supposed to serve and protect them," said Rep. Karen Bass, D-Calif., in a statement. "Never again should the world be subject to witnessing what we saw happen to George Floyd in the streets in Minnesota." [6]. In order for this bill to be put into effect, it must be considered and approved by the Senate. The “George Floyd Justice in Policing Act” would result in a “series of police reform measures in the wake of national uprising against racial injustice and police brutality” [7].
As Barak Obama said, "Let's not excuse violence, or rationalize it, or participate in it. If we want our criminal justice system, and American society at large, to operate on a higher ethical code, then we have to model that code ourselves." [8]
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[1] Hill, E.; Tiefenthaler, A.; Triebert, C.; Jordan, D.; Willis, H.; Stein, R; (2020, May 31). How George Floyd was Killed in Police Custody. New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/31/us/george-floyd-investigation.html
[2] Black Lives Matter. (2021, March 22). Take Action. Black Lives Matter. https://blacklivesmatter.com
[3] Blackenship, M. and Reeves, R. (2020, July 10). From the George Floyd Movement to a Black Lives Matter movement, in tweets. Brookings. https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2020/07/10/from-the-george-floyd-moment-to-a-black-lives-matter-movement-in-tweets/
[4] Bass, Karen (2020, July 20). H.R. 7120 – George Floyd Justice in Policing Act of 2020. Congress. https://www.congress.gov/bill/116th-congress/house-bill/7120
[5] NAACP (2020, July 22). The George Floyd Justice in Policing Act of 2020. NAACP. https://www.naacp.org/latest/george-floyd-justice-policing-act-2020/
[6] Weiner, C. (2021, March 3). House Approves Police Reform Bill Named After George Floyd. NPR. https://www.npr.org/2021/03/03/973111306/house-approves-police-reform-bill-named-after-george-floyd
[7] Behrmann, S. and Santucci, J. (2021, March 4). ‘We Must Act Now’: House passes Police Reform Bill named for George Floyd. USA Today. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2021/03/03/house-passes-george-floyd-police-reform-bill/6904980002/
[8] Kretchmener, H. (2020, June 4). How Leaders are Reacting to the US George Floyd protests. World Economic Forum. https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2020/06/george-floyd-racial-inequality-quotes-leaders-barak-obama/
[9] Justia. (2018, April). Aiding and Abetting. Justia. https://www.justia.com/criminal/offenses/inchoate-crimes/aiding-abetting/
[10] VOA News (2020, June 3). What Do 2nd-Degree Murder, 3rd-Degree Murder, Manslaughter Charges Mean? VOA News. https://www.voanews.com/usa/nation-turmoil-george-floyd-protests/what-do-2nd-degree-murder-3rd-degree-murder-manslaughter
[11] Segal Defense P.A. (2021). How Serious is Aiding an Offender in Minnesota? Segal Defense P.A. https://www.segaldefense.com/serious-aiding-offender-minnesota/
[12] Legal Information Institute (2021, March 23). Qualified Immunity. Cornell Law School. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/qualified_immunity
[13] The IACP (2021, March 23). Evaluation of Implicit Bias Training. The IACP. https://www.theiacp.org/resources/evaluation-of-implicit-bias-training
[14] The Atlantic Beach Official Website (2021, March 23). Bias-Based Profiling. The Atlantic Beach Official Website. https://coab.us/475/Bias-Based-Profiling
[15] Congress (2020, July 20). H.R. 7120. Congress. https://www.congress.gov/bill/116th-congress/house-bill/7120/text#toc-HA857A12484134F7A9FCDFF44C2E90DA9
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Removal Report
Roger Callahan
Deputy Archangel Cat Hanover, July 10th
(Cat would like to point out that they cannot be held responsible for the events described in this report, as all actions were taken under the subject's own volition.
They would also like to request that any comments perceived as obnoxious be disregarded, as they have to amuse themself writing these things somehow, and no one reads them, anyway. Cat always wanted to be assigned to Special Intelligence, and they are still annoyed that no one will let them establish a heavenly unit for it.)
Subject Roger Callahan was admitted at 23:56 on the 9th of July (confirmed with Gatekeeper on duty at time, Lara Rosenthal) in a state of semi-consciousness. Due to state, subject was admitted to Temporary Cloud Care by Dr. Segall. Subject rested in TCC for approximately four hours, before being decommissioned and assigned to tour group of Mabell Campbell (Cat would like to comment on the unlikelihood of having such… well-matching last syllables in one's name, and question whether Belly hears ringing in her ears all the time). As tour went on, subject apparently looked increasingly confused and miserable.
At the end of Ms. Campbell's tour, Callahan appeared distraught (Cat bets his face was like a blotchy toad's). Ms. Campbell (Cat swears they are going to call her Belly for the remainder of this report) approached him and asked him what was wrong. Subject's reply was, in essence, that he had no idea where he was.
Clearly, subject was one of the rare cases that doesn't understand that they are in Heaven promptly upon arrival. He lacked this usual instinct (Cat believes he was also just an idiot).
Belly, assuming this was the case, brought subject to see Director of Orientation Varnum, at his offices on the main court. Director Varnum explained the situation to subject in detail (and, according to the conversation’s transcript and Cat’s sensible opinion, with far too many uses of the slogan "When You're Dead, a Whole New Life Begins") as is standard for these cases, and welcomed him personally to the deceased Heaven community. Their conversation was recorded in Conference Room Two at Director Varnum's offices.
When Varnum finished speaking to (the unbelievably thick) Callahan, he still appeared confused. In the transcript of the conversation, he states, "Something must have gone terribly wrong. I shouldn't be here."
Varnum then asks subject what he means. Callahan replies, "I'm not supposed to be dead. I should still be alive."
Varnum's efforts to convince Callahan that he is, in fact, supposed to be dead, prove futile, as the subject insists that Varnum is wrong. Unsure of what to do about this, Varnum tells Belly she should take subject to the Archangel's office.
Belly then did so, and the two spoke to secretary on duty, Larry Murrow. According to Murrow, Callahan repeated the same story, and asked to be returned to The Realm Of The Living. Murrow attempted to convince Callahan of the fact of his mortality, but like Director Varnum, failed to do so. Baffled, Murrow dismissed Belly back to the Gates, and sent Callahan to the office of Deputy Archangels Cat Hanover (here's where it gets interesting!) and Gideon Porter.
(This is where I switch to first person, because otherwise it's just weird. Sorry, society. It’s not like anyone reads these, anyway. I know you don’t read these!)
Callahan repeated his story to us, and I barely listened while Gideon tried in vain to convince the guy he's obviously kicked it (Gideon's a lot more patient than I am). Instead, I focused on crunching numbers for getting the standard-procedure portals up and running again. We hadn't used them for a while, and they were kind of the shape of a round pizza that's been carried vertically for a while.
Within the hour, I had a team working on the portals, and the Standard Procedure was set up for the next day. Callahan returned to Cloud Care for the night. Mary Anne Flowers and Paul Chen were chosen at random as witnesses to the Standard Procedure.
The next morning, Gideon explained the procedure to Callahan. The transcript states that he told him, "There are two portals, red and blue, obviously. One will return you to Earth. The other will obliterate you. You step through the portal of your choice, and obviously we see what happens." (I'll try to ignore Gideon's comical overuse of the word 'obviously,' as I've been working with him three hundred years, long enough to almost overlook it.
Almost.)
For anyone who doesn't know, no one is aware of which portal is which. They are given randomly to the red and blue paint teams, and then returned anonymously by the teams, so that the teams don't know which portal they painted, and Gideon and I don't know which colour each team painted with. It's all very suspenseful.
After an hour of deliberation (which looked really painful on Callahan's face), during which I ate a powdered chocolate doughnut and played multiple rounds of solitaire (I regret nothing), Callahan selected the blue portal, and after a moment's hesitation, stepped through. He was promptly obliterated, the soul reader confirmed, as it was no longer able to detect him.
We later found out, with careful examination, that the blue portal actually was the Earth portal. The repair team had failed to notice a critical problem with the system.
Oh well.
Gideon felt awful, of course, and was irritated by my lack of sympathy. However, a piece of information I discovered in my boring readings cheered him up a little. The inconsistencies between time in Heaven and in The Realm Of The Living had caused a relative time leap on Earth, and as our single day had passed in Heaven, six months had passed there. If we'd returned Roger Callahan to The Realm Of The Living, there’s no way his reception would have been good. Gideon agreed. So it's just as well.
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What Is EFT and Should You Try It?
What is EFT?
EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, is also known simply as “tapping.” It was developed by Gary Craig, who took an earlier technique called Thought Field Therapy from psychologist Roger Callahan and both simplified and modified it so it would be easier to apply in more situations.
The Principles of Tapping
According to Nick Ortner, author of The Tapping Solution and one of the early advocates of this technique, tapping can provide relief from “chronic pain, emotional problems, disorders, addictions, phobias, post traumatic stress disorder, and physical diseases.” Tapping draws upon the same principles as acupuncture and acupressure, stimulating the body’s meridien points (energy points) to create change in your emotional and physical health.
The basic theory is this: since our bodies run on energy, we need that energy to be flowing freely in order for physical and psychological balance. The energy source, according to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) is known as “chi” or “qi”.
When the energy is out of whack, so is our health. Conversely, poor thinking or poor health can generate an imbalanced energy in the body, which needs to be corrected to restore health.
Because tapping is portable, can be self-administered and is free, using it can be a powerful way to effect change and can also “[give] you the power to heal yourself, putting control over your destiny back into your own hands.”
How to do it
In this video from mercola.com, an EFT practitioner explains the approach and shows you how to do it. As you can see, it doesn’t take very long to do the entire circuit, and it also can be used for many different situations.
Should You Use It?
It’s one thing to hear anecdotal evidence about a particular approach to health–and there is a lot about EFT–but actual scientific evidence is normally a much more powerful recommendation for any treatment.
In researching the studies on EFT, I was fascinated by this study on war veterans with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) who were treated with EFT. Those who received the EFT treatment sessions improved so much that 90% of the subjects no longer met the PTSD criteria after 6 sessions (in other words, their PTSD was essentially gone), as opposed to only 4% in those who received conventional treatment. This article provides a similar conclusion about the efficacy of EFT for PTSD.
Other studies have shown its effectiveness for anxiety, depression, phobias and food cravings.
According to experts like Ortner, EFT can be used for a plethora of conditions or emotional states to help us improve and live more balanced, emotionally comfortable lives. I’ve known people who’ve used it for stage fright, lack of confidence, weight loss, or stress as well.
Given the increase in studies and the favorable results so far, my personal feeling about the practice is, “why not?”
Obviously, it’s your choice as to whether you try EFT. But with no cost, no equipment required and no physical side effects (note that you clearly shouldn’t tap an injured area!), I can’t think of any reason not to give it a try, at least once or twice.
Delving More Into EFT
This month, I had the pleasure of interviewing Melanie Moore, mindset coach who uses tapping to help clients reach their Big Vision goals via visualization and EFT, for The Sweet Life Club (my membership club for anyone following an anti-candida diet). Melanie shared more about what EFT is, how it works, and what it can do for you. To see Melanie’s interview and all the exclusive materials in The Sweet Life, you can join here.
And coming up for newsletter subscribers only: a chance to join The Sweet Life via a monthly option! This means you can pay month-by-month and cancel any time (no minimum and no contract).
This option is only available twice per year, so if you’re interested, get on the newsletter list to receive all the details when they’re available!
Source: https://www.rickiheller.com/2019/03/what-is-eft-and-should-you-try-it/
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Quotes for Thursday June 29,2017
achievement quotes Every man who accomplishes things sees first in his mind what he wishes to do. He puts away all doubt. It makes no difference how small or how large the thing you want to do may be; if you have an unlimited confidence in your ability to do it, you willdo it.--Charles Fillmore Four steps to achievement: plan purposefully, prepare prayerfully, proceed positively, pursue persistently.--William A. Ward Great things are accomplished by talented people who believe they will accomplish them.--Warren Bennis Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.--Vincent Van Gogh Greatness ... consists in doing great deeds with little means and the accomplishment of vast purposes from the private ranks.--Russell Conwell (Acres of Diamonds) Happiness... it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.--Franklin Delano Roosevelt === Dream quotes Dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the present.-Robert Conklin Dreams come in a size too big so that we may grow into them.--Josie Bisset Dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough, You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.--Sir James M. Barrie Dreams, ideas, and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on.--Steven Callahan Either you let your life slip away by not doing the things you want to do, or you get up and do them.--Roger Von Oech == Faith quotes Faith is a knowledge within the heart beyond the reach of proof.--Kahlil Gibron Faith is affirming success before it comes. Faith is making claims to victory before it is achieved.--Robert Schuller Faith is an invisible and invincible magnet, and attracts to itself whatever it fervently desires and calmly and persistently expects.--Ralph W. Trine Faith is better understood as a verb than a noun, as a process than a possession. It is an on-again, off-again rather than once-and-for-all. Faith is not sure where you're going, but going anyway.--Frederick Buechner Faith is different from proof; the latter is human, the former is a Gift from God.--Blaise Pascal === Goal quotes Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.Brian Tracy, Eat that Frog The great and glorious masterpiece ofman is to know how to live to purpose.Michel de Montaigne Most "impossible" goals can be met simply by breaking them down into bite size chunks, writing them down, believing them, and then going full speed ahead as if they were routine.Don Lancaster Your goal should be just out of reach, but not out of sight. Denis Waitley and Remi Witt I am always more interested in what I am about to do than what I have already done.Rachel Carson Purpose is what gives life a meaning. C. H. Parkhurst === Happiness quotes Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people brings happiness.--Rabbi Harold Kushner Cheerfulness in most cheerful people is the rich and satisfying result of strenuous discipline.--Edwin Percy Whipple Cheerfulness is a very great help in fostering the virtue of charity. Cheerfulness itself is a virtue.--Lawrence G. Lovasik (The Hidden Power of Kindness) Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.--Gretta Palmer Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.--Samuel Levenson Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.--Ralph Waldo Emerson Happiness is a present attitude--not a future condition.--Hugh Prather === Strength quotes Always remember, there is more strength in you than you ever realized or even imagined. Certainly nothing can keep you down if you are determined to get on top of things and stay there.--Norman Vincent Peale Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong.--Sarah Dessen The awareness of our own strength makes us modest.--Paul Cezanne (Letters) Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for power equal to your tasks.--Phillips Brooks Each day brings new life, new strength, new dreams and new hope. May you find courage, confidence and hope to reach out for your dreams.--Lailah Gifty Akita It’s not in numbers but in unity that our great strength lies.--Thomas Paine Know your strengths and take advantage of them.--Greg Norman Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.--Drew Barrymore
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Quotes for Saturday January 7,2017
Confidence quotes If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right. -Henry Ford It is best to act with confidence, no matter how little right you have to it. -Lillian Hellman It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. -W.C. Fields Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. -Helen Keller Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement. -Golda Meir Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level. -Max L. Forman What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Henry S. Haskins We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do. -Olin Miller ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Perseverance quotes Submitted by Nisandeh Neta The shortest way beyond fear is through it. Thomas Fuller Nothing is easy to the unwilling. Nothing is EASY to the unwilling. Maya Angelou We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated. Ben Stein It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated... it is finished when it surrenders. Helen Keller We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dream quotes Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.--Dale E. Turner Dreams are the touchstones of our character.--Henry David Thoreau Dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the present.-Robert Conklin Dreams come in a size too big so that we may grow into them.--Josie Bisset Dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough, You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.--Sir James M. Barrie Dreams, ideas, and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on.--Steven Callahan Either you let your life slip away by not doing the things you want to do, or you get up and do them.--Roger Von Oech ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Experience quotes Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. ~Auguste Rodin God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars. ~Elbert Hubbard Experience is what you got by not having it when you need it. ~Author Unknown Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. ~Rita Mae Brown If experience was so important, we'd never have had anyone walk on the moon. ~Doug Rader ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Opportunity quotes Thomas J. Peters If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. Marcus Aurelius Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig. Mignon McLaughlin Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom. Mark Twain I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one. Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach Nothing is so often irretrievably missed as a daily opportunity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Max Lucado quotes God meets our needs one day at a time." "To have a pure heart, we must submit all thoughts to the authority of Christ. If we are willing to do that, he will change us to be like him." "Just as your earthly house is a place of refuge, so God's house is a place of peace." "Jesus isn't a God who stayed on the mountaintop - he's a Savior who came down and lived and worked with the people." "When a Christian stops growing, help is needed. If you are the same Christian you were a few months ago, be careful." "God is able to accomplish, provide, help, save, keep, subdue . . . He is able to do what you can't. He already has a plan." "Heaven is beyond our imagination . . . . At our most creative moment, at our deepest thought, at our highest level, we still cannot fathom eternity." "Aging is God's idea. It's one of the ways he keeps us headed homeward." "We long to see God. The leaves of life are rustling with the rumor that we will - and we won't be satisfied until we do."
#confidence quotes#perseverance quotes#dream quotes#experience quotes#opportunity quotes#max lucado quotes
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I Was Freed From Suicidal Thoughts With EFT
On January 7th, 2011, I decided to commit suicide. It was a crisp, sunny, Friday afternoon and I was walking on an overpass with a busy freeway underneath. There was a concrete barrier beside me, and a chain link fence on top of it.
I thought to myself, “I can easily climb over the fence and jump to my death on the freeway below.” That thought would have normally shocked me, but after the last few months it didn’t seem like a bad plan.
I had just hung up the phone with my ex-girlfriend of seven years. She informed me that she was with someone new. She had ended our relationship only months before and moved out-of-state. Her two adult children were still living in my house, and I kept in contact with her hoping that we’d get back together.
So it was official. My ex-girlfriend had found someone new. She was out my life, and without her I didn’t know whether life was worth living.
I didn’t have any friends I could reach out to, or call as my best friend had died some months before, and my life had revolved around my ex-girlfriend. Out of decency, fear, or both, she called my ex-wife (and the police) because she knew I was in trouble and needed to talk to someone quick, though she had no idea of my location.
Luckily when I was on the overpass, my ex-wife called me I answered. Through burning tears, and a cracked voice, I wailed into the phone shouting to her how I wanted the pain in my heart to stop! I was truly a wretched soul – totally, emotionally destroyed from the pain of it all.
The breakup with my ex-wife was many years before, through the years we forgave each other and became friends, so as odd as it may seem – my ex-wife was the best person to understand my pain.
The relationship with my ex-girlfriend was more complicated. You see I found out, sometime before all this, that my girlfriend had been having a sexual relationship with another man that she had met a year before going out with me. Her relationship with this man lasted for almost the entire seven years we had been together – and her two adult children living in my house knew all about it, but kept their mother’s secret.
So, the whole relationship was filled with betrayal, and deceit. Even after I had learned all this, I forgave her and hoped that one day we might get back together. You may think that is crazy, but it’s how I felt at that moment.
I had found out that the man, whom she had the affair with, was out of her life and I had hoped that if I put my whole heart and soul in the relationship that she would completely commit herself to me. We would live happily ever after. The whole bit. I was really in fantasy thought.
The night before, when I was on the overpass, she sent me an email that made it brutally clear that she never intended to get back with me. She lacked the decency to tell me on the phone or to my face. To make it even more confusing for me, she asked for me to help her with closing costs for a house she was buying as if I were her partner. I lent her the money with high hopes for the future. I loved her and wanted to do whatever I could to make her happy.
What she neglected to tell me was that she was involved in another relationship with a new man and the house was for them to live in. That was the news I had received just before going on the overpass.
I felt as though I were being manipulated like a puppet. I loved her and her two kids, but they gave me no respect. They all said they loved me, but really they were just using me. I was devastated as I made this realization.
The good news is that I obviously didn’t jump, or else I wouldn’t be writing this article, but it came very close. I believe that if I were under the influence of alcohol, or some other mood altering substance at the time, I would have jumped.
My ex-wife successfully talked me out of jumping for our daughter’s sake. She made me realize the pain I would cause my daughter by committing suicide – not to mention that I would be a terrible role model by setting a horrible example for her to follow. She was (and is) in recovery from drug addiction and has dealt with depression issues as well. I felt ill at the thought of her mirroring my actions.
As distorted as my thinking was, My ex-wife’s reasoning somehow got through to me and I knew I didn’t want to commit suicide for our daughter sake, if not my own. Her phone call saved my life. In a strange way, I am grateful to my ex-girlfriend calling my ex-wife, too, because I never would have gotten that call; otherwise, and I wouldn’t be here writing this now.
Looking back in time, before this scene on the overpass, I could see that a storm within me had been brewing. I had been plagued for months with suicidal thoughts that began to accompany my lifelong battle with depression.
I was on prescribed medication for depression. I was seeing a therapist, as well. Had I not been, I am certain that even my ex-wife would not have been able to convince me to not jump to my death. But, thank God I had that help, because now I see that this awful situation was sure as hell unworthy of me senselessly sacrificing my life. My girlfriend’s betrayal, and her children’s concealment just wasn’t worth it; and my daughter’s life now mattered more to me than my own life.
Strange how screwed up my thinking was. Here, I was in a crisis ready to throw my own life away, but I guess I still cared about something greater than myself, my daughter.
My own biological father had abandoned me along with my mother and younger brother. My committing suicide would have been the ultimate abandonment of my daughter – something I swore I would never do when I had a child. I would not carry on the family tradition and abandon my own flesh and blood.
Once I hung up with my ex-wife, I no longer had the desire to jump. But, I still felt like dying, and I found myself alone and emotionally destroyed. I hurt, and I wanted it to stop. You know the expression about how “it felt as though I’d been stabbed in the heart”? That’s how I felt.
So, how did I cope with this hurt?
Well, some months before this incident, I had attended a seminar where I was introduced to an energetic therapy to help release negative thought patterns. It is called the Emotional Freedom Technique, otherwise known as EFT or tapping.
Gary Craig invented EFT in the early 1990’s. He was a student of Dr. Roger Callahan – the father of TFT, or Thought Field Therapy that he discovered in the late 1980’s.
Carol Look, a well-known expert, and practitioner of EFT, describes EFT as a form of psychological acupressure. The way EFT works is first, you find your target – the subject of the problem your having (for me it was suicide) and imagine a scale of zero to ten with zero being the least degree of pain, or emotional discomfort of whatever you are feeling about the problem, and ten being the highest degree. You identify where you are on that scale of pain, or suffering, then you start the process.
The process is a series of tapping your fingers on certain places known as Meridian points of your body. As you tap, you say out loud what is known as set up statement, followed by a tapping progression called the negative reminder phrase, ending the process by a tapping round using the positive statement, or phrase.
At first, this whole tapping thing really sounded ridiculous to me, but I did it anyway and saw how it helped. It was the solution to my problem. I kept at it and although I didn’t feel like living, or even doing the tapping rounds, it helped me get through the feelings of suicide. I figured I’d try the fake it until you make it approach, and it worked!
Little by little, something inside me started to change. I began to feel better. My suicidal thoughts became less and less frequent. It took a while, but this tapping stuff really worked.
I have struggled with depression all my life and while I’m not completely rid of it, my suicidal thoughts are gone! I can actually envision a future for me. Every day I live I give thanks for what I have, and I can see what a terrible mistake it would have been for me to end my life.
Not every day is perfect. I still take depression medication and see a therapist – although less often – now I can better cope with my depression thanks to EFT. I now can enjoy life and look to the future.
I do not advocate replacing professional help with EFT. But, EFT is yet another tool I have to use in my arsenal of defense against feeling low, depressed, and hopeless.
The reason I am writing this article is to help anyone who is in a similar situation. I want everyone to know that no matter how bad things seem, even to the point that you are hurting so badly that you are thinking of hurting yourself (or killing yourself) that there is hope.
Suicide is not a solution. It’s the worst thing you could do, not just for you, but for anyone you leave behind who will have to live with your suicide for the rest of their lives.
Do you really want that? Of course, you don’t.
I believe that EFT helped me, and that it can possibly help you. If you are feeling depressed, and/or suicidal give it a try. There is a ton of free literature out there on the subject of EFT (a free guide is downloadable on my website). You can also go to YouTube; type “EFT” in the search box, and a bunch of videos will appear showing you how to do it.
You are important and worthy of living though you may not believe it, or feel it. Give EFT a try. It’s free, and it’s easy to do. You are positively worth it! The phrase fake it until you make it was never truer than it was for me using EFT. And I did make it! So can you!
Source by Glenn P Jones
from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/i-was-freed-from-suicidal-thoughts-with-eft/
via Home Solutions on WordPress
from Home Solutions FOREV https://homesolutionsforev.tumblr.com/post/185677150465
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I Was Freed From Suicidal Thoughts With EFT
On January 7th, 2011, I decided to commit suicide. It was a crisp, sunny, Friday afternoon and I was walking on an overpass with a busy freeway underneath. There was a concrete barrier beside me, and a chain link fence on top of it.
I thought to myself, “I can easily climb over the fence and jump to my death on the freeway below.” That thought would have normally shocked me, but after the last few months it didn’t seem like a bad plan.
I had just hung up the phone with my ex-girlfriend of seven years. She informed me that she was with someone new. She had ended our relationship only months before and moved out-of-state. Her two adult children were still living in my house, and I kept in contact with her hoping that we’d get back together.
So it was official. My ex-girlfriend had found someone new. She was out my life, and without her I didn’t know whether life was worth living.
I didn’t have any friends I could reach out to, or call as my best friend had died some months before, and my life had revolved around my ex-girlfriend. Out of decency, fear, or both, she called my ex-wife (and the police) because she knew I was in trouble and needed to talk to someone quick, though she had no idea of my location.
Luckily when I was on the overpass, my ex-wife called me I answered. Through burning tears, and a cracked voice, I wailed into the phone shouting to her how I wanted the pain in my heart to stop! I was truly a wretched soul – totally, emotionally destroyed from the pain of it all.
The breakup with my ex-wife was many years before, through the years we forgave each other and became friends, so as odd as it may seem – my ex-wife was the best person to understand my pain.
The relationship with my ex-girlfriend was more complicated. You see I found out, sometime before all this, that my girlfriend had been having a sexual relationship with another man that she had met a year before going out with me. Her relationship with this man lasted for almost the entire seven years we had been together – and her two adult children living in my house knew all about it, but kept their mother’s secret.
So, the whole relationship was filled with betrayal, and deceit. Even after I had learned all this, I forgave her and hoped that one day we might get back together. You may think that is crazy, but it’s how I felt at that moment.
I had found out that the man, whom she had the affair with, was out of her life and I had hoped that if I put my whole heart and soul in the relationship that she would completely commit herself to me. We would live happily ever after. The whole bit. I was really in fantasy thought.
The night before, when I was on the overpass, she sent me an email that made it brutally clear that she never intended to get back with me. She lacked the decency to tell me on the phone or to my face. To make it even more confusing for me, she asked for me to help her with closing costs for a house she was buying as if I were her partner. I lent her the money with high hopes for the future. I loved her and wanted to do whatever I could to make her happy.
What she neglected to tell me was that she was involved in another relationship with a new man and the house was for them to live in. That was the news I had received just before going on the overpass.
I felt as though I were being manipulated like a puppet. I loved her and her two kids, but they gave me no respect. They all said they loved me, but really they were just using me. I was devastated as I made this realization.
The good news is that I obviously didn’t jump, or else I wouldn’t be writing this article, but it came very close. I believe that if I were under the influence of alcohol, or some other mood altering substance at the time, I would have jumped.
My ex-wife successfully talked me out of jumping for our daughter’s sake. She made me realize the pain I would cause my daughter by committing suicide – not to mention that I would be a terrible role model by setting a horrible example for her to follow. She was (and is) in recovery from drug addiction and has dealt with depression issues as well. I felt ill at the thought of her mirroring my actions.
As distorted as my thinking was, My ex-wife’s reasoning somehow got through to me and I knew I didn’t want to commit suicide for our daughter sake, if not my own. Her phone call saved my life. In a strange way, I am grateful to my ex-girlfriend calling my ex-wife, too, because I never would have gotten that call; otherwise, and I wouldn’t be here writing this now.
Looking back in time, before this scene on the overpass, I could see that a storm within me had been brewing. I had been plagued for months with suicidal thoughts that began to accompany my lifelong battle with depression.
I was on prescribed medication for depression. I was seeing a therapist, as well. Had I not been, I am certain that even my ex-wife would not have been able to convince me to not jump to my death. But, thank God I had that help, because now I see that this awful situation was sure as hell unworthy of me senselessly sacrificing my life. My girlfriend’s betrayal, and her children’s concealment just wasn’t worth it; and my daughter’s life now mattered more to me than my own life.
Strange how screwed up my thinking was. Here, I was in a crisis ready to throw my own life away, but I guess I still cared about something greater than myself, my daughter.
My own biological father had abandoned me along with my mother and younger brother. My committing suicide would have been the ultimate abandonment of my daughter – something I swore I would never do when I had a child. I would not carry on the family tradition and abandon my own flesh and blood.
Once I hung up with my ex-wife, I no longer had the desire to jump. But, I still felt like dying, and I found myself alone and emotionally destroyed. I hurt, and I wanted it to stop. You know the expression about how “it felt as though I’d been stabbed in the heart”? That’s how I felt.
So, how did I cope with this hurt?
Well, some months before this incident, I had attended a seminar where I was introduced to an energetic therapy to help release negative thought patterns. It is called the Emotional Freedom Technique, otherwise known as EFT or tapping.
Gary Craig invented EFT in the early 1990’s. He was a student of Dr. Roger Callahan – the father of TFT, or Thought Field Therapy that he discovered in the late 1980’s.
Carol Look, a well-known expert, and practitioner of EFT, describes EFT as a form of psychological acupressure. The way EFT works is first, you find your target – the subject of the problem your having (for me it was suicide) and imagine a scale of zero to ten with zero being the least degree of pain, or emotional discomfort of whatever you are feeling about the problem, and ten being the highest degree. You identify where you are on that scale of pain, or suffering, then you start the process.
The process is a series of tapping your fingers on certain places known as Meridian points of your body. As you tap, you say out loud what is known as set up statement, followed by a tapping progression called the negative reminder phrase, ending the process by a tapping round using the positive statement, or phrase.
At first, this whole tapping thing really sounded ridiculous to me, but I did it anyway and saw how it helped. It was the solution to my problem. I kept at it and although I didn’t feel like living, or even doing the tapping rounds, it helped me get through the feelings of suicide. I figured I’d try the fake it until you make it approach, and it worked!
Little by little, something inside me started to change. I began to feel better. My suicidal thoughts became less and less frequent. It took a while, but this tapping stuff really worked.
I have struggled with depression all my life and while I’m not completely rid of it, my suicidal thoughts are gone! I can actually envision a future for me. Every day I live I give thanks for what I have, and I can see what a terrible mistake it would have been for me to end my life.
Not every day is perfect. I still take depression medication and see a therapist – although less often – now I can better cope with my depression thanks to EFT. I now can enjoy life and look to the future.
I do not advocate replacing professional help with EFT. But, EFT is yet another tool I have to use in my arsenal of defense against feeling low, depressed, and hopeless.
The reason I am writing this article is to help anyone who is in a similar situation. I want everyone to know that no matter how bad things seem, even to the point that you are hurting so badly that you are thinking of hurting yourself (or killing yourself) that there is hope.
Suicide is not a solution. It’s the worst thing you could do, not just for you, but for anyone you leave behind who will have to live with your suicide for the rest of their lives.
Do you really want that? Of course, you don’t.
I believe that EFT helped me, and that it can possibly help you. If you are feeling depressed, and/or suicidal give it a try. There is a ton of free literature out there on the subject of EFT (a free guide is downloadable on my website). You can also go to YouTube; type “EFT” in the search box, and a bunch of videos will appear showing you how to do it.
You are important and worthy of living though you may not believe it, or feel it. Give EFT a try. It’s free, and it’s easy to do. You are positively worth it! The phrase fake it until you make it was never truer than it was for me using EFT. And I did make it! So can you!
Source by Glenn P Jones
from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/i-was-freed-from-suicidal-thoughts-with-eft/
via Home Solutions on WordPress
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What Is EFT and Should You Try It?
What is EFT?
EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, is also known simply as “tapping.” It was developed by Gary Craig, who took an earlier technique called Thought Field Therapy from psychologist Roger Callahan and both simplified and modified it so it would be easier to apply in more situations.
The Principles of Tapping
According to Nick Ortner, author of The Tapping Solution and one of the early advocates of this technique, tapping can provide relief from “chronic pain, emotional problems, disorders, addictions, phobias, post traumatic stress disorder, and physical diseases.” Tapping draws upon the same principles as acupuncture and acupressure, stimulating the body’s meridien points (energy points) to create change in your emotional and physical health.
The basic theory is this: since our bodies run on energy, we need that energy to be flowing freely in order for physical and psychological balance. The energy source, according to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) is known as “chi” or “qi”.
When the energy is out of whack, so is our health. Conversely, poor thinking or poor health can generate an imbalanced energy in the body, which needs to be corrected to restore health.
Because tapping is portable, can be self-administered and is free, using it can be a powerful way to effect change and can also “[give] you the power to heal yourself, putting control over your destiny back into your own hands.”
How to do it
In this video from mercola.com, an EFT practitioner explains the approach and shows you how to do it. As you can see, it doesn’t take very long to do the entire circuit, and it also can be used for many different situations.
Should You Use It?
It’s one thing to hear anecdotal evidence about a particular approach to health–and there is a lot about EFT–but actual scientific evidence is normally a much more powerful recommendation for any treatment.
In researching the studies on EFT, I was fascinated by this study on war veterans with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) who were treated with EFT. Those who received the EFT treatment sessions improved so much that 90% of the subjects no longer met the PTSD criteria after 6 sessions (in other words, their PTSD was essentially gone), as opposed to only 4% in those who received conventional treatment. This article provides a similar conclusion about the efficacy of EFT for PTSD.
Other studies have shown its effectiveness for anxiety, depression, phobias and food cravings.
According to experts like Ortner, EFT can be used for a plethora of conditions or emotional states to help us improve and live more balanced, emotionally comfortable lives. I’ve known people who’ve used it for stage fright, lack of confidence, weight loss, or stress as well.
Given the increase in studies and the favorable results so far, my personal feeling about the practice is, “why not?”
Obviously, it’s your choice as to whether you try EFT. But with no cost, no equipment required and no physical side effects (note that you clearly shouldn’t tap an injured area!), I can’t think of any reason not to give it a try, at least once or twice.
Delving More Into EFT
This month, I had the pleasure of interviewing Melanie Moore, mindset coach who uses tapping to help clients reach their Big Vision goals via visualization and EFT, for The Sweet Life Club (my membership club for anyone following an anti-candida diet). Melanie shared more about what EFT is, how it works, and what it can do for you. To see Melanie’s interview and all the exclusive materials in The Sweet Life, you can join here.
And coming up for newsletter subscribers only: a chance to join The Sweet Life via a monthly option! This means you can pay month-by-month and cancel any time (no minimum and no contract).
This option is only available twice per year, so if you’re interested, get on the newsletter list to receive all the details when they’re available!
Source: https://www.rickiheller.com/2019/03/what-is-eft-and-should-you-try-it/
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Fillmores dad tries contacting Sarges family to warn them about their sons sickness
idk if i'll ever actually finish this, but here's a quick bit of nonsense that i wrote about it:
At forty-nine years old, Colonel Thomas Jones thought of himself as successful. He was married by the time he was twenty, a war hero by twenty-three, and the father of two wonderful boys by twenty-five. He worked in a mechanic shop, and he was content to grow old in the same town he had grown up in.
For the record, his sons were successful, too. His eldest, Wade, was a lineman in the next town over. He made good money, had a gorgeous wife and a little baby girl named Jolene. His youngest, Willie, had been a rather successful army man, served two tours in Vietnam; now, he apparently owned a surplus store somewhere in rural Arizona. Thomas Jones had yet to get out there, but he was proud, nonetheless. His boys had turned out to be fine young men.
Thomas thought idly about it—come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Willie in the better part of three or four years. Though, it ought to be a busy life, running a business; work always came first, anyways. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to fly him out for the holidays, if he had the time. After all, Willie probably wanted to meet Wade’s little girl. Thomas smiled at the thought: his family all together again, and his little granddaughter too. It would be nice to crack open a beer with his sons, and talk sports or whatever else.
“Tom,” His wife, Beth, said; she stuck her head into the living room, all blonde hair and dark eyes. “There’s a man at the door for you.”
“Who is it?” Thomas asked, indifferent. He looked back to the television—he had been idly watching the Sunday afternoon football game.
“I don’t know,” Beth said, disappearing again. “He just said he needs to speak with you urgently.”
Thomas rose from his seat and switched off the television, frowning at the score. He stretched quietly, snagging his beer from the end table as he made for the front door.
He did not know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t what he found: there was an expensive black car in his lot, and a rather expensive man on his doorstep. He was extremely tall with graying-brown hair, wearing a crisp suit and horn-rimmed glasses; nearly like the politicians he’d see on television.
“I’m looking for Thomas Jones,” the man said, smoothly.
“That would be me,” Thomas replied, watching the man warily. “Do I know you, sir?”
“Not yet.” The man extended his hand, of which was adorned with an expensive watch. “Roger Callahan.”
“Pleasure,” Thomas said flatly. “What, exactly, do you want, Mr. Callahan?”
Roger Callahan smiled kindly; but, something strange flickered in his eyes, as though he were somehow malicious. “May I come inside?” he asked.
Thomas stared back at him, wishing that he could simply say no. Yet, he obliged, stepping aside. “Sure thing.”
They found themselves at the kitchen table. Thomas watched his wife hover around the stove, fixing a pot of coffee; she stole a wary glance at him, eyebrows raised. Roger Callahan looked almost comical: tall, lanky, and far too rich to be sitting in the kitchen of a lowly mechanic.
He began, “Mr. Jones—
“Colonel,” Thomas corrected.
“Right.” Callahan bared his teeth in something of a grin. “Colonel Jones. We have much to discuss.”
Thomas crossed his arms, disliking the man’s elusiveness. “About?”
“Your son,” Callahan said grimly. “Our sons, actually.”
Confused, Thomas raised his eyebrows. He took a swig from his beer, leaning forward to lean on the kitchen table. “I’m listening.”
In a series of well-articulated and rather upsetting sentences, Callahan told him a story that Thomas Jones found quite unbelievable. His son Willie had, apparently, not left the military by choice: actually, he had been dishonorably discharged under some backwater code that Thomas had never heard of. Callahan produced the discharge papers, sliding them across the table.
“The code is in place for a reason. As a military man yourself, I think you’d understand that,” Callahan said smoothly. “It bars homosexuals from participating in military service—and, removes those in violation of this code from their position.”
Incredulous, Thomas slid the papers back to him. “Are you implying that my son is a homosexual?”
“I’m not implying it,” Callahan replied, “I’m stating it as a fact.”
He continued, claiming that Willie and Callahan’s own son had been seeing one another romantically for the better part of two years. “I had no idea,” Callahan said, “I was actually paying your boy to keep tabs on my son, but…” He huffed, irritated, “Apparently he was taking the money and lying through his teeth about what was actually happening.”
“You must have the wrong family,” Beth cut in from beside the stove, annoyed. “Willie is a good kid. Always went to church, never acted out… This doesn’t sound like him, at all.”
“He’s been seeing my son consistently for two years, Thomas,” Callahan said, dismissively, “My son is a good-for-nothing peacenik with no future. I suppose it’s had an effect on your boy.”
“Why should we believe you?” Thomas asked. “I don’t trust anyone who calls their kid good-for-nothing."
“The discharge papers speak for themselves,” Callahan replied, “I’d think that you’d agree with the codes more than anyone else, Colonel.”
Thomas shook his head, scoffing. “Mr. Callahan, I think it’s time you got the hell off of my property.”
“Colonel Jones, you need to accept that—”
“Accept what?” Thomas snapped, rising from his seat, “That some asshole is trying to slander my son?”
“Tom,” Beth said warningly, “Back off.”
Thomas dropped back into his seat. Callahan stared back at him, expression infuriatingly even.
“I just figured that you’d want to know,” Callahan said lowly. He stood from his seat, pulling a business card from his pocket. “I’ll be going, now. Call this telephone number if you need to reach me.”
With that, he left out the way he came, shutting the front door quietly behind him.
Thomas deflated, resting his head into his hands. His wife appeared behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders.
“Do you believe him?” Thomas asked lowly.
“I don’t know,” Beth replied. “I don’t want to believe him.”
“Mm.”
Thomas was anxious for the rest of the day. He didn’t exactly know what to think: the discharge was a plain fact, but he wished to believe that the rest of Callahan’s story was untrue. In the case that it was, however… The only option he really had was to try and get help for it. Certainly, there were institutions that strove to fix illnesses like that?
That evening, he resolved to call Willie out in Arizona to speak to him personally. Beth lingered close by his shoulder at the telephone, evidently hoping to listen in.
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Twenty-Seven Steps, Chapter 8: She’s An Investor [October 1974]
Series summary: Callahan is an American living and studying in London. When Freddie befriends her and brings her into Queen’s inner circle, she finally learns what it’s like to have a family. But love and loyalty aren’t always black and white, and Calla must navigate conflicting desires and obligations as she accompanies John, Roger, Brian, and Freddie through their interwoven lives.
Chapter summary: Freddie sets the record straight.
Chapter warnings: Language, mild violence.
Link to chapter list HERE
“Guess what.”
“Um...you’ve impregnated someone. No, multiple someones.”
“We’re going to America.”
The phone slipped out of Calla’s hands. She fumbled to grasp it as it bounced on the cord. “You’re what?”
“America, Cal!” Roger’s voice was positively triumphant. “Reid got us a tour of America! Killer Queen is already getting nonstop radio play, I’ve heard it three times today, it’s going to be huge!”
Calla covered the speaker with her palm and screamed into the empty apartment, jumping up and down. Freddie had been kicking around lyrics to what Roger derogatorily referred to as “The Gelatin Song” for years; but once it finally came together, all Rog could see were dollar signs. Killer Queen had smash hit written all over it. And it could carry Queen’s soon-to-be-released third album, Sheer Heart Attack, into the charts.
“I’m so happy for you, I’m so happy, I can’t believe this!” Calla struggled to catch her breath. “When? When do you go?”
“We leave in six days.”
And that hit her like an avalanche. She would lose them again, Calla knew. From here on out she would always be losing them: to France, to Germany, to Austria and Italy and Spain, to America, to the world. The higher Queen soared, the farther they would land from her.
“Come with us,” Roger said.
“What?”
“Come to America with us. We’d all love to have you there. You’re an American, you can be our tour guide, teach us about the culture, help us better connect with the fans...make sure we avoid the dodgy bits.”
“Well, there are lots of those,” Calla observed solemnly. “I can’t go to America, Rog.”
“Sure you can.”
“No, really. I can’t.” She could feel her throat starting to burn, her eyes blurring with tears.
“Quit your job,” Roger said. “God knows they’d love to be rid of you and your erratic scheduling. Give up your apartment. Sell your stuff, or put it in storage...I can front you the cash if you need it. Come on the road with us.”
Calla stammered, trying to find her words. “You...you can’t mean that. I can’t burden the band that way. You’re barely hanging on.”
“The money will roll in!” Roger said confidently. “It’ll come, don’t you worry. In the meantime we’ll make it work. You’re no great hardship. You don’t eat much, and you don’t smoke, and you don’t need nearly as much booze to be falling down drunk. And if we can make room for that tosspot Paul then we can make room for you.”
Calla smirked into the handset. “I hope this isn’t some elaborate ploy to get me to sleep with you,” she said, not at all seriously.
“Well, I’m willing to pay, but I think intercontinental plane tickets would be a little steep.”
“Does anyone else know about this grand idea of yours?”
“We’ve already discussed it. Green lights all around.” Then he added: “Well, Paul’s opinion doesn’t matter.”
“EMI’s opinion does matter.”
“Freddie’s matters more.”
Calla’s fingers twirled around the spiraled phone cord. “Are you really sure about this, Roger?” Despite herself, she could suddenly see it all, flickering through her mind like a movie reel: midnight milkshakes at Midwestern diners, dragging equipment onto stages in Miami and LA and New York, introducing the boys to the wonders of Waffle House, fans screaming in accents that she could recognize.
“Pack your damn bags, Yankee.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“Darling, we can’t do it that way live,” Freddie pointed out. “Take the pitch down a notch. Speed it up a bit there...yes, right, good, now let’s go again.”
Roger chanted: “Faster, faster, faster!” John spun around in a circle, stepping lightly over the cord that bridged his bass and the amp.
Brian rolled his eyes but obliged, the sixpence he used instead of a pick dancing over his strings.
Queen were squeezing in one last rehearsal in the London studio before the tour. Calla was dabbing paint over a crack in the wall where Roger had hurled a chair a few days ago; if management noticed it, they’d bill the band. Paul was sitting on the couch, gnawing at his fingernails like a rodent, glowering at her.
Calla didn’t hate Paul because he was gay. She’d figured out his orientation pretty quickly, and suspected that the others had as well, though it wasn’t something they discussed. Calla had no malice towards people like Paul; in fact, her heart ached for them. Being different was always difficult, and for the son of Irish Catholics? She couldn’t imagine the secrecy and pain his life would be shrouded in. No, Calla didn’t hate Paul because he was gay; she hated him because he was a sycophantic parasite, and a jealous one at that. Brian, Roger, and John felt similarly, though they didn’t see everything that she did; they didn’t see the way Paul watched Freddie like he was a carp to be gutted and forked piece by piece into dripping mouths.
“Where is she going to sleep?” Paul asked. The music halted.
“What was that, Paul dear?” Freddie said.
Paul pointed his rolled-up newspaper at Calla like an archer taking aim. “Sleeping arrangements?”
“I won’t be sleeping on the bus often,” Roger said. “She can have my spot.”
Brian rolled his eyes again. Calla wondered how he didn’t sprain them.
Freddie waved his hand impatiently. “We’ll have two buses, right? One for us and one for the equipment? That’s plenty of room to spread out in. If we have room for roadies, we have room for her.”
“She’ll weigh you down.”
“You think Calla will be lounging around eating bonbons all day?”
“That’s strictly under my purview,” Roger quipped.
“She’s cleaning up our messes as we speak.” Freddie gestured to where she knelt by the now-nearly-imperceptible crack in the wall, rolled rag in her hands. “Calla’s always made herself useful. She’ll do the same in America.”
Paul snorted and propped his feet up on the coffee table. “It’s a mistake”
Calla rose and approached him. The others’ eyes tracked her, like rabbits watching hawks. “You’re so kind to be concerned,” she said. “I’m just a weak little girl after all. I’d be much better off if you made all these pesky decisions for me.”
“I think you’d be better off not on tour.”
Calla laughed. “Bold words from somebody who no one wants there.”
“Freddie wants me there!”
“How many people do you think there are in Queen?”
Paul stood and towered over her. His eyes were dark and seething. On the periphery of her vision, Calla could see Roger walking towards them. John and Brian unslung their guitars.
“Do you know what happens to loud-mouthed bitches in Belfast?” he asked her, circling. “They get black eyes.”
“I’m just shocked you can handle that many syllables at once.”
Calla turned to walk away. Instinctively—it must have been, because it happened so quickly—Paul struck out and shoved her into the wall behind the couch. Calla heard shouts firing out as she collided with the wall, pain exploding through her forehead and wrapping around her skull. She yelped and felt for the couch, lowering herself into the cushioned seats. Her right hand came up to her face, searching for blood.
The world went black, then flashed into color again.
Instantaneously, Paul was pinned against the wall, his feet kicking eight inches off the ground, Roger’s right hand hooked under his jaw. Paul screamed soundlessly, clutching at his throat. Roger’s voice was deep and searing.
“Touch her again and I’ll fucking castrate you.”
“There will be no castration in this band,” Freddie said. He lit a cigarette and placed it between his lips. He sounded so nonchalant that one could make the mistake of thinking he didn’t care; but Calla knew it was de-escalation he had in mind. If this didn’t get walked back soon, it would be a firestorm. And Paul wasn’t just a prick. He was an EMI employee. “For once in your life play well with others, Rog.”
Roger released Paul and he collapsed to the floor, gasping.
John rushed to Calla, gripping her shoulder and running his thumb gently over her forehead. It throbbed wildly, but she could feel that it hadn’t split open. “Are you alright?” he asked, his eyes seeking.
“Fine, fine,” she said, but the room was lopsided. “Just give me a minute.”
John sat beside her, elbows resting on his knees, glaring at Paul. “You must feel so brave, beating on women half your size. Where’d you learn that, your father? You didn’t even need to empty a few pints down your throat first. Well done.”
John did that sometimes; he’d say things so abrupt and cutting that they almost hurt to hear. He had never directed that talent towards Calla, and she hoped he never would. Brian looked on with his arms crossed.
“Calla is one of us, Paul,” Freddie said. “You’ll treat her with the same respect you show me.”
“I don’t get it,” Paul said venomously, standing and rubbing his neck. Bruises were flaring there, dark and irregular. “What makes her so fucking special? What even is she? A roadie, a friend?”
“She’s an investor.”
Paul recoiled. “A what?”
“An investor,” Freddie repeated. He locked eyes with Calla from across the room.
Don’t, she mouthed, holding her head in her hands.
“She helped finance our first record. She’s been financing us for years, actually. In return, I’ve promised her ten percent of my personal earnings—whenever it is that we start seeing earnings, anyway—in perpetuity. She deserves to see her investment carried out to fruition.”
All eyes were suddenly on Calla. The silence was deafening.
“Is that true?” Roger asked her.
Calla stared at Freddie, shaking her head. He grinned unapologetically at her. “Well I didn’t want it advertised, but yeah.”
“Cal!” Roger cried out, laughing. He soared to the couch and dragged her to her feet, embracing her.
“Careful,” John said, but he was smiling.
“You did that for us?!” Roger said. “Really? As if I needed another reason to love you!” He spun her around, the tips of her toes skating across the linoleum floor.
Love? Did he just say love? Calla’s thoughts whirled dizzily, like moons around Saturn.
“Roger, Rog please,” John pleaded.
“Right, right, sorry, are you okay? I didn’t give you an aneurism, did I?”
“That’s not how that happens.” Brian came to her, long arms outstretched. “Thank you, Calla.” He hugged her tightly, his massive cloud of hair tickling her nose and cheeks. Paul was standing on the other end of the studio, watching them. Freddie whispered something to him, and Paul nodded. He wasn’t scowling; he looked thoughtful, maybe even tactical. And Calla didn’t like that at all.
“Okay,” she said as Brian pulled away. “Okay that’s enough, no more thank yous. Everyone can repress these fond memories and go back to not knowing anything about it. Thank you kindly.”
Another wave of pain rocked through her. Before Calla could stop herself, she winced and touched her forehead.
“Alright, darling,” Freddie said, spiriting to her side. “Time for you to go drown yourself in ice and Tylenol. Get some sleep. We’ll see you at the airport on Friday, bright and early. Wear something fabulous. I’ll bring the polaroid.”
“Fred,” Brian said, “no one dresses up to fly anymore.”
“It’s a milestone, Brian!”
John grabbed Calla’s jacket off the couch and handed it to her. “I’ll walk you home.” She gazed at him, and her mind went blank, and it had nothing at all to do with hitting her head.
It was only then she realized that since Paul had pushed her, John hadn’t left her side.
~~~~~~~~~~
Chrissie knocked about in the kitchen, slamming cabinets open and shut, dropping mugs noisily on the counter. It was about as subtle as the D-Day invasion.
“I know this must be difficult for you,” Calla said. Her apartment was nearly empty; only the kitchen was left to box up.
“What? You mean the fact that you’re going with the band to America for three months while Mary and I sit at home waiting for the phone to ring? Oh, that. Yes. Difficult might be the right word.”
“Chrissie, I’m going to be working,” Calla said quietly.
“Yes, there’s room for you. Because you’ve always been there to talk music with them, something I could never do.”
“There’s more to it than that.”
“Yeah?” Chrissie pitched a glass into the sheet of newspaper she was holding and began wrapping. Calla watched her, knowing it was fear and not spite talking.
“Do you want to tell me what you’re really upset about?”
Chrissie sighed, setting down the glass and resting her hands on the countertop. She looked up at Calla with glistening eyes. “I know what musicians do when they’re on tour.”
“No, Chrissie, no. Brian wouldn’t. That’s not him.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he’s too moralistic not to beat himself up over it afterwards but not too good not to stray in the first place.”
That hit close to the mark, and Chrissie could read it on Calla’s face.
“He won’t,” Calla said, willing it into truth. “And even if he did, Chrissie...that wouldn’t mean that he doesn’t still love you.”
Chrissie gaped at her, her eyes scorching. “Really, Calla? And are you keen to be fucked around on? That’s why you’re not with Roger, isn’t it? You don’t want to join the list of infinite girls he’s been with. Try to count them sometime, it’s like trying to number the fucking stars.”
“I’m aware of that,” Calla said shortly.
“I’m sorry,” Chrissie said, burying her face in her hands. “I’m sorry, Calla. I’m just so scared.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. It was brainless of me. I do that, I don’t think things through before I say them.”
“No, you don’t. You’re blunt. And I’ve always liked that about you.” Chrissie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I don’t mean to take this out on you. Really, I don’t.”
“I understand.”
“I want you to have an incredible time across the pond,” she said, smiling faintly. Her face was flushed and glowing in the golden light of the lamps that speckled the floor, the desks and tables they once lived on long gone. She was so beautiful. “I want you to see it all, to take pictures, to help Queen be the best they can be. And then I want you to call me and tell me everything. And remind Brian to call too.”
Calla laughed. “I won’t have to remind him, Chrissie.”
Chrissie bundled Calla into her arms. “Good luck over there,” she whispered. “Take care of them. I would say especially Brian, but I know you can’t do that for me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know he’s not the one you’re in love with. God, that smooth, blond, womanizing demon. He’s going to be the death of you.”
“You’re right. I love one of them.” Calla drew back. Her voice was raw and trembling. “But it’s not Roger.”
#bohemian rhapsody fanfic#bohemian rhapsody movie#borhap#joe mazzello!john deacon#ben hardy!roger taylor#joe mazzello#ben hardy#borhap fanfic#bohemian rhapsody#john deacon x reader#roger taylor x reader#twenty seven steps#twenty seven steps series#fanfic#queen fanfic#queen
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Eliminating Phobias and Fears
If you have a fear or phobia, you know how uncomfortable or even how debilitating it can be. If you want to learn how to use Tapping to overcome ANY fears or phobias, big or small, I’ve pulled out Chapter 11 from my first book, “The Tapping Solution,” to help you.
Lindsey was terrified of clowns.
I know, it sounds pretty funny. I can hear you snickering: “Clowns? Really?��This is a serious problem? She was scared of clowns?”
But the reality is, clowns terrified her. While it might seem amusing to those of us who don’t share that fear—and while she was aware that it wasn’t rational—she was frightened nonetheless.
Lindsey is a fun, bright, happy 24-year-old and one of the team members at our company, The Tapping Solution. When she was five years old, she had walked in the room while her parents watching the Stephen King miniseries It, which features a murderous clown.
While she has no recollection of the incident—her parents told her what happened and why they feel this is where her fear of clowns started. Clearly something made an impression on her.
I had known about her fear but didn’t understand how serious it was. Then I heard from another team member that Lindsey had seen a picture of a clown and had started crying. I realized at that moment that this was a full-blown phobia that was affecting her life.
This fear perfectly illustrates an underlying element of all fears and phobias: the conditioned response. It’s not a logical fear, and it serves no purpose. But once the pattern
has been programmed into the system, the conscious mind cannot override it.
While the clown phobia seems especially amusing, the pattern is the same whether the fear is about public speaking, enclosed spaces, heights, needles, germs and dis-ease, dentists, or snakes. The phobia usually starts with a negative experience. After that, the patterns of fear keep running again and again, each time the person encounters that scenario.
You might argue that the fear of snakes is real—snakes can be dangerous—whereas the fear of clowns is not real because clowns aren’t dangerous. Yes, humans have a natural, smart, genetic tendency to be wary of potentially dangerous snakes; that’s very different from a phobia.
I don’t have a snake phobia, but I would be scared if a venomous cobra were in my office right now. That’s a natural and rational response. What makes a phobia different is that it is not rational. The fear is present even if there is a nondangerous snake in an enclosed cage across the room.
Likewise, most of us would be a little nervous about speaking in front of 5,000 people; even speakers who have done it hundreds of times might feel a little agitation or excitement. A phobia, on the other hand, would keep us from putting ourselves in that situation in the first place!
You might remember that the original tapping breakthrough happened when Roger Callahan was working with Mary on her water phobia. Her fear disappeared instantly after tapping. It worked then and continues to work very effectively with fears and phobias of all varieties.
Using EFT to Clear Out Fears and Phobias
In just about an hour of tapping, we turned around Lindsey’s phobia. I’m sharing the process with you here, because it’s similar, no matter what fear you’re working with.
Even talking about clowns made Lindsey anxious and fearful. So we began the tapping with the very simple and broad statement Even though I have this fear of clowns, I choose to relax now. Go slowly with fears and phobias; there’s no reason to suffer through the process.
We did several rounds of Even though I have this fear of clowns . . . and then tapped through the points, repeating “this fear of clowns . . . this anxiety . . . this stress in my body . . . ” We continued until she found herself calm and relaxed. Now I was able to ask her when the fear had started.
She shared with me what she had heard from her parents—the experience of seeing the movie It as a child and being terrified. She didn’t have a conscious memory of this experience and
didn’t feel anxiety when she talked about what her parents had told her. But just to be sure, we did some tapping on it. We proceeded to tap on Even though I saw this scary movie when I was a kid, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Again, we weren’t able to measure a level on it, because she wasn’t emotional about it, but I felt it would be smart to do a couple of rounds just in case. At this point, I could see that Lindsey was relaxed, so I took the next step. Confronting fears and phobias is all about baby steps. (You may remember the concept of “baby steps” from the movie What About Bob? with Bill Murray—what
we’re doing is not that different!)
So I went on to ask Lindsey, “If I were to show you a picture of a clown right now, how would you feel?” Notice I didn’t say, “I’m going to show you a picture of a clown” or “Think of a scary clown.” I wanted to continue to ease her into the process. “I’d be a little scared,” she replied. “I’m feeling a little anxious right now.” So we went on to tap on that—Even though I’m feeling a little scared . . . and so forth—until she found herself calm again.
“Lindsey, I’m going to send you a picture of a clown via e-mail,” I went on. “How does that feel? Are you okay with that?” “Yes,” she said. “That’s fine.” We were doing this session over Skype video, so right away I sent her a drawing of a cartoon clown. She opened it up, and I asked her, “How do you feel when you see that?” "A little anxious,” she replied. So we tapped on that until her anxiety
went down.
From there, we went on to look at a photograph of a real clown. This is where it gets interesting. When she saw the picture of the real clown, she said, “I hate the red nose. That really freaks me out.” This was an aspect of her phobia. With phobias, you want to be especially careful to look for all the different aspects of the issue—and to clear them all in order to have full relief.
An aspect will always be specific. If Lindsey is specifically scared by the red nose, just tapping on Even though I have this fear of clowns . . . might not clear the fear. So we had to be more
specific, tapping on Even though this red nose really freaks me out. . . .
We continued to tap on more and more pictures of clowns. Finally, I sent her a picture of the clown from the movie It. I warned her beforehand, and we tapped on her anxiety about even seeing it. Then, when the anxiety number was down, she looked at it, and we tapped. After several rounds, she was able to look at the clown image and say, “I don’t like the clown. He’s creepy, but I can look at him and my body feels fine.” When I looked at the creepy It clown, I felt the same way!
She no longer had a phobia of clowns. She didn’t like looking at creepy clowns—but neither do most of the rest of us! Our work was a success.
Identifying with Fears and Phobias
One interesting thing to note about the session with Lindsey is that something that came up toward the end, as the phobia was clearing. She got visibly upset and said, “I don’t know who I will be without this fear.” Again, I know it seems amusing because her fear was about clowns, but it is so indicative of the patterns we all run—no matter the challenge, fear, or phobia.
Being afraid of clowns was part of who Lindsey was. At some level, she defined herself that way: “I am afraid of clowns.” She had grown up afraid of clowns, all her friends knew she was afraid of clowns, and she took actions to make sure she didn’t face clowns in her life. This fear was part of the fabric of her life, her identity. Who would she be without it?
We tapped on Even though I don’t know who I’ll be without this fear of clowns . . . and Even though I’m used to being afraid of clowns, I don’t know how to act without this fear, I deeply and completely accept myself. And so forth. These statements began opening up her mind and body to a new possibility, and she then started shaping a new identity without this limiting fear.
She can continue to tap on positive statements of her new identity, such as I am someone who is free of phobias; I now find clowns funny; I choose to be courageous, fun, and bold, even around clowns! and so forth. This serves to reinforce the new identity that she’s already partially stepped into, and it is likely to give her even greater confidence. Without reinforcing the change by tapping
in more positive statements, she might not be scared of clowns, but not have any positive emotions around them, either.
Tapping further can make any encounter she has with them fun!
It’s Not about Being Brave or Not
Kris Carr is a brave woman. She’s spent the past 10 years battling a rare cancer, documenting her journey in the film Crazy Sexy Cancer and being a guiding light to millions through her
film and New York Times best-selling books. In other words, she is no stranger to overcoming obstacles and living a life of freedom, high energy, and joy.
So as we walked together up a mountain near her home in Woodstock, New York, I was surprised by something she shared with me. She was saying that at the top of the mountain there’s a steel tower you can climb and see in all directions for miles. I said, “Great, let’s go up!” to which she replied, “Oh, no, I’m not going up there! I’m scared of heights.”
She instantly knew she’d said that to the wrong guy. If an issue is tappable, I’m going to get you tapping! And what’s more obviously tappable than a fear of heights?
I promised her the experience would be painless; she wouldn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to do. So we began tapping right then and there, starting with the anxiety she was feeling at the thought of tapping.
Just like talking about clowns made Lindsey anxious, the possibility of having to face any heights made Kris anxious. Her body and mind started imagining negative future scenarios and creating fear around them, even though they weren’t real and hadn’t happened yet.
Kris and I spent the rest of the climb up the mountain tapping on the anxiety she was feeling. By the time we got to the top, she felt calm. I took a look at the tower. It was perfect, because it had multiple sets of steps at various levels. She could take her time, moving up the levels slowly, tapping each step of the way.
We started at the bottom of the platform, tapping on the anxiety she was feeling. We went back and forth between the global statement Even though I have this fear of heights . . . and specific statements about her body state, both emotional and physical.
For example we tapped on
Even though I feel all this anxiety . . .
Even though I feel like I can’t take a deep breath . . .
Even though I have this knot in my stomach . . .
Even though my body feels shaky . . .
Even though I’m scared of falling . . .
We systematically worked through the different aspects that were coming up in her mind and body. Slowly, we started climbing. We went step by step, only moving when she felt comfortable and safe. Up we went, tapping and climbing together the whole way.
Her loving husband, Brian, was there with us, shaking the platform as we climbed to make sure she really overcame her phobia. (Not a recommended strategy when someone wants to get over a
phobia, by the way, and Kris certainly let Brian know how she felt about his contribution!)
When we got to the top, Kris’s reward for having overcome her lifelong fear of heights was a majestic autumn view for miles in every direction. An appropriate metaphor for the reward we get when we finally let go of those lifelong fears, phobias, and limiting beliefs: we can then see a beautiful, clear view of our lives and the world.
Two Fears Handled in One Hour
Meggan is a dynamic writer, lecturer, and coach to thousands of women around the world. She was scheduled to speak at an important conference and reached out to me for some help. Meggan had often taken the stage before, with extremely positive feedback from her audiences. But up until that point, she always read her speeches from behind a podium. She never felt fully comfortable with the experience, either.
For the upcoming event, she wouldn’t have a podium. She was also planning on speaking without a set script. The prospect terrified her, so she reached out to me, having heard how effective EFT could be when it came to public speaking phobias.
When we began our session, I asked her to visualize being onstage, without the podium or her written speech, and to tell me what she experienced. Particularly, I wanted to know what she felt in her body. I find that focusing on physical sensations is a great way to get started addressing fears, because it helps us connect more fully to the feelings and determine what’s really going on.
She shared with me that she felt a constriction in her chest and throat when she thought about the event; not a surprising location for a fear of public speaking. I asked her to give the constriction a number, and she said it was a 7 on a 0-to-10 scale.
We began tapping with some very simple statements:
Even though I have this constriction in my chest and throat, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though something feels stuck in my throat, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I have this anxiety in my chest and throat, I choose to relax now.
We kept tapping through various statements and the points, until she could no longer feel the constriction in her chest and throat. I then had her go back to the image of herself speaking up onstage at the event. What did she feel? What did she see? She shared that she felt better and saw the speech going well, but only once she got started.
“I think getting started is going to be tough,” she said. We’d cleared out the stuck energy in her chest and throat, and now the next aspect of her phobia had arisen. So we tapped on the issue of getting started until it cleared and she felt confident enough to continue.
I continued to ask her to visualize the event and to look for anything that didn’t feel right. I even added to the potential pressure, on purpose, in order to make sure everything was clear. For example, I had her visualize the audience not smiling when she first came out, to see if that would bring up any anxiety. Audiences are generally very receptive and welcoming to the speakers, but I wanted to push her buttons a little bit, to make sure we handled all the different aspects of her phobia.
This process continued, with more tapping, digging deeper and deeper, until she could no longer find any anxiety, stress, or worry about the speech. Instead, she reported, “I’m actually excited for this and starting to think about what I want to discuss. I could never go there before because I was too terrified of the whole experience!”
I’ve mentioned it several times but it bears repeating because it’s so crucial. The way to get lasting results with fears or phobias is to dig deep and address all the aspects of the issue. This is a time when it’s good to look for what’s wrong, to identify problems, to push within yourself and see how it feels!
Meggan was delighted with how she felt, and we were about to sign off from the call when she shared with me that she was excited to use EFT on her other fear: flying. She was going to have to fly to the event, after all!
The fear of public speaking had taken only 30 minutes to address, so I offered to continue helping her with the fear of flying right then, and she agreed.
She shared with me that 15 years earlier, she and her sister had flown together on a small airplane, and the flight was the worst experience of her life. From the start, the turbulence was unlike any she had ever experienced, with the small plane dropping several feet at once, again and again. She had been sure she was going to die. The pilot didn’t say a word to reassure the
passengers, and the muted cries and screams of the people around her made everything worse.
They finally landed safely, but to Meggan’s mind and body, the trauma of the experience never left. She had worked on healing and had made progress, but at the deepest level, the trauma was still there—affecting her life in all sorts of ways.
This wasn’t just a fear of flying that we were working on together, it was a deepseated fear about life—about safety, about who she was in the world, and about not having to be on alert at all times. That one experience had taught Meggan that she needed to be vigilant, that the world was inherently unsafe, and that her body wasn’t safe, either.
I used the “movie technique” with Meggan, asking her to recount to me what happened, while tapping at the same time. I could tell from Meggan’s body language and tone that just talking about the issue brought her some anxiety, so I was careful to move slowly. I told her that if she ever felt the emotional intensity was too high, or if she didn’t feel safe, we could back away from the experience.
This is one of the great things about working with people on video Skype or in person rather than by telephone: the visual cues give you invaluable information. Meggan recounted the story of the plane flight from start to finish. I focused on helping her feel safe, guiding her with questions that brought her deeper into the experience when needed and pulled her further out when things seemed to get too intense.
She told me what had happened, step by step, and tapped the whole time. Her first recounting of it was very emotional, but I could see her calming down as she tapped. I then had her tell me the story again, and again, and again, until there was no emotional intensity to any element of it. In the end, when she thought of the traumatic flight, she broke down in tears of joy because she was no longer experiencing the fear and pain that just 30 minutes earlier was paralyzing to her.
I’ll let an e-mail that I received from Meggan the next day give you a fuller idea of the results she experienced:
I’ve been sleeping like a teen since our call. If it weren’t for my toddler, I might still be in bed. It’s not fatigue; it feels more like make-up sleep. The part of me that was terrorized into hypervigilance during that flight 15 years ago, to stay awake, to keep watch, to be ever on the lookout for my safety finally took a bow and stepped down.
Not trusting life takes a lot of energy (smile). I have this visceral knowing that when the make-up sleep has run its course, I’m going to have crazy amazing energy. I’m so fascinated, and semiperplexed, at the session’s effectiveness. I keep trying to conjure the fear I once had for flying and also the naked, exposed feeling I had about speaking without a script in public, and I just can’t access it. It’s not there. I remember who I am, or who I was before these fears made a home for themselves within me. I don’t get how tapping works, and I don’t need to—it just does.
Tapping accessed the actual wound and just lifted it. Poof. Tapping returned to me the actual feeling of calm and safety in my body that the trauma of that flight has been blocking ever since. Like a magician pulling the white tablecloth out from under a dining set, tapping revealed that my trust in the world, in my life, has always been there—as my ground of being—and that the fear was simply obscuring its permanent presence within me.
I’m a convert. A smacked-on-the-forehead, true-believer convert. My gratitude is endless.
[fr-ch-optin]
Until next time,
Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner
The article Eliminating Phobias and Fears was first published to: The Tapping Solution
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Tom Brady Stands By The NFL Amid Pal Donald Trump's Controversial Criticism Of The National Anthem Protests!
how I looked younger without plastic surgery
Donald Trump doesn't even have Tom Brady's support on this issue.
As you surely know, POTUS sparked a NFL wide protest on Sunday following his call to "fire and suspend" those players who'd kneel during the National Anthem over racial injustice. In response to Donald's criticisms, many players linked arms and/or kneeled during the Star-Spangled Banner on game day.
Related: Pharrell Takes Two Knees During Charlottesville Charity Concert
This clearly rattled the Trumpster as he called for a boycott of the NFL AND voiced his disapproval of the protests over and over again. Thus, several key players in the football community have denounced Trump for his disparaging remarks. Even 45's friend Tom was disappointed in Donnie's shade.
At first, the Patriots quarterback only alluded to his stance as he took to Instagram on Sunday and posted:
Strength. Passion. Love. Brotherhood. Team. Unity. Commitment. Dedication. Determination. Respect. Loyalty. Work. #nflplayerA post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady) on Sep 24, 2017 at 6:14am PDT
Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers shared a similar sentiment as he too shared on IG:
#unity #brotherhood #family #dedication #love #A post shared by Aaron Rodgers (@aaronrodgers12) on Sep 24, 2017 at 6:34am PDT
However, by Monday, Brady's opinion was far clearer as he noted on the Kirk & Callahan radio show:
"I certainly disagree with what [Trump] said. I thought it was just divisive... I just want to support my teammates. I am never one to say, 'Oh, that is wrong. That is right.' I do believe in what I believe in. I believe in bringing people together and respect and love and trust. Those are the values that my parents instilled in me. That is how I try and live every day."
Donald's blood must be boiling right now. Other NFL players were more straight forward with their stances as they took to social media and shared:
The behavior of the President is unacceptable and needs to be addressed. If you do not Condemn this divisive Rhetoric you are Condoning it!!
— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) September 23, 2017
Trump stay in ur place... football have nothing to do wit u smh
— Zach Brown (@ZachBrown_55) September 23, 2017
It's really sad man ... our president is a asshole
— Lesean McCoy (@CutonDime25) September 23, 2017
Does anyone tell trump to stick to politics, like they tell us to stick to sports? Smh.
— Eric Ebron (@Ebron85) September 23, 2017
More than ever, we remain committed to advocacy 4 equality & social justice for all. Join in locking arms 4 @nfl #UNITY #PlayersCoalition
— Anquan Boldin (@AnquanBoldin) September 24, 2017
My colleagues & I need to continue to unite & support each other. The disrespect & divisive/offensive comments can't be tolerated anymore
— Marcus Gilbert (@MarcusGilbert88) September 24, 2017
More than ever we remain committed to advocacy 4 equality & social justice 4 all! @Eagles fans Join us in locking arms 4 unity in our city!
— Malcolm Jenkins (@MalcolmJenkins) September 24, 2017
Well said!! NFL commissioner Roger Goodell appears to be standing by the protesters as he called the president's comments "divisive" and disrespectful.
Nonetheless, not all NFL stars are on board with the protests as Denver Broncos defensive end Derek Wolfe recently told ESPN that he found the whole thing "disrespectful to the ones who sacrificed their lives."
Be sure to take a look at his full statement (below).
NEW: Statement to me from #Broncos DE Derek Wolfe on Donald Trump's comments regarding national anthem protests in the @NFL. http://pic.twitter.com/4qWLXNhbSK
— Josina Anderson (@JosinaAnderson) September 24, 2017
Huh. It looks like SOMEONE is trying to get an invite to the White House...
[Image via Patricia Schlein/WENN.]
you might even get Kim Kardashian's or Paris Hilton's...
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Quotes for Thursday May 25,2017
Being different quotes Chidinma Obietikponah Always show the you in you that makes you the you that you are. Marian Wright Edelman We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee. M. Scott Peck Share our similarities, celebrate our differences. Cecil Beaton Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary. Ralph Waldo Emerson We boil at different degrees. Norman Vincent Peale Change yourself and your work will seem different. Meredith West If you want to stand out, don't be different; be outstanding. ~~~ Courage quotes Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Every day you either see a scar or courage. Where you dwell will define your struggle. ~Dodinsky,www.dodinsky.com Courage is a love affair with the unknown. ~Osho Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. ~Winston Churchill Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher It is curious—curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. ~Mark Twain People are made of flesh and blood and a miracle fibre called courage. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960 Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Letters to Lucilius ~~~ Dream quotes Dreams are the touchstones of our character.--Henry David Thoreau Dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the present.-Robert Conklin Dreams come in a size too big so that we may grow into them.--Josie Bisset Dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough, You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.--Sir James M. Barrie Dreams, ideas, and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on.--Steven Callahan Either you let your life slip away by not doing the things you want to do, or you get up and do them.--Roger Von Oech Empower your dreams with deadlines.--H. Jackson Brown ~~~ Hope quotes Hope is a talent like any other.--Storm Jameson Hope is a vigorous principle ... it sets the head and heart to work, and animates a man to do his utmost.--Jeremy Collier Hope is a waking dream.--Aristotle Hope is generally a wrong guide, though it is good company along the way.--George Saville Hope is like a road in the country: there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.--Lin Yutang Hope is love's happiness, but not its life.--Letitia E. Landon Hope is not a granted wish or a favor performed; no it is far greater than that. It is a zany, unpredictable dependence on a God who loves to surprise us out of our socks.--Max Lucado (God Came Near) Hope...is the companion of power, and the mother of success; for who so hopes has within him the gift of miracles.--Samuel Smiles ~~ Friendship quotes Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.--Samuel Butler Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.--John Evelyn Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.--Woodrow Wilson Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...it has no survival value; rather, it is one of those things that give value to survival.--C. S. Lewis Friendship of a kind that cannot easily be reversed tomorrow must have its roots in common interests and shared beliefs.--Barbara Tuchman Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.--Thomas Fuller The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.--Joseph Addison The growth of friendship might be a lifelong affair.--Sarah Orne Jewett ~~~ Kindness quotes Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. -Scott Adams No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. -Aesop Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. -Leo Buscaglia Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. -Mother Teresa I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty. -Anne Herbert No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. -Charles Dickens
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Tom Brady Stands By The NFL Amid Pal Donald Trump's Controversial Criticism Of The National Anthem Protests!
Donald Trump doesn't even have Tom Brady's support on this issue.
As you surely know, POTUS sparked a NFL wide protest on Sunday following his call to "fire and suspend" those players who'd kneel during the National Anthem over racial injustice. In response to Donald's criticisms, many players linked arms and/or kneeled during the Star-Spangled Banner on game day.
Related: Pharrell Takes Two Knees During Charlottesville Charity Concert
This clearly rattled the Trumpster as he called for a boycott of the NFL AND voiced his disapproval of the protests over and over again. Thus, several key players in the football community have denounced Trump for his disparaging remarks. Even 45's friend Tom was disappointed in Donnie's shade.
At first, the Patriots quarterback only alluded to his stance as he took to Instagram on Sunday and posted:
Strength. Passion. Love. Brotherhood. Team. Unity. Commitment. Dedication. Determination. Respect. Loyalty. Work. #nflplayerA post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady) on Sep 24, 2017 at 6:14am PDT
Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers shared a similar sentiment as he too shared on IG:
#unity #brotherhood #family #dedication #love #A post shared by Aaron Rodgers (@aaronrodgers12) on Sep 24, 2017 at 6:34am PDT
However, by Monday, Brady's opinion was far clearer as he noted on the Kirk & Callahan radio show:
"I certainly disagree with what [Trump] said. I thought it was just divisive... I just want to support my teammates. I am never one to say, 'Oh, that is wrong. That is right.' I do believe in what I believe in. I believe in bringing people together and respect and love and trust. Those are the values that my parents instilled in me. That is how I try and live every day."
Donald's blood must be boiling right now. Other NFL players were more straight forward with their stances as they took to social media and shared:
The behavior of the President is unacceptable and needs to be addressed. If you do not Condemn this divisive Rhetoric you are Condoning it!!
— Richard Sherman (@RSherman_25) September 23, 2017
Trump stay in ur place... football have nothing to do wit u smh
— Zach Brown (@ZachBrown_55) September 23, 2017
It's really sad man ... our president is a asshole
— Lesean McCoy (@CutonDime25) September 23, 2017
Does anyone tell trump to stick to politics, like they tell us to stick to sports? Smh.
— Eric Ebron (@Ebron85) September 23, 2017
More than ever, we remain committed to advocacy 4 equality & social justice for all. Join in locking arms 4 @nfl #UNITY #PlayersCoalition
— Anquan Boldin (@AnquanBoldin) September 24, 2017
My colleagues & I need to continue to unite & support each other. The disrespect & divisive/offensive comments can't be tolerated anymore
— Marcus Gilbert (@MarcusGilbert88) September 24, 2017
More than ever we remain committed to advocacy 4 equality & social justice 4 all! @Eagles fans Join us in locking arms 4 unity in our city!
— Malcolm Jenkins (@MalcolmJenkins) September 24, 2017
Well said!! NFL commissioner Roger Goodell appears to be standing by the protesters as he called the president's comments "divisive" and disrespectful.
Nonetheless, not all NFL stars are on board with the protests as Denver Broncos defensive end Derek Wolfe recently told ESPN that he found the whole thing "disrespectful to the ones who sacrificed their lives."
Be sure to take a look at his full statement (below).
NEW: Statement to me from #Broncos DE Derek Wolfe on Donald Trump's comments regarding national anthem protests in the @NFL. http://pic.twitter.com/4qWLXNhbSK
— Josina Anderson (@JosinaAnderson) September 24, 2017
Huh. It looks like SOMEONE is trying to get an invite to the White House...
[Image via Patricia Schlein/WENN.]
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