#way back in the day i missed out on the gravity falls journal 3 special edition and i've been beating myself up abt it every since
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bad news is i'm officially broke but good news is
#way back in the day i missed out on the gravity falls journal 3 special edition and i've been beating myself up abt it every since#i was NOT abt to miss this#sassy speaks#tsp
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C-137 Vs. 46'\
C-137 Vs. 46'\ = A Gravity Falls & Rick and Morty crossover fic for @stephreynaart! I meant to finish this, like, forever ago, but I did my best and decided this has stayed hidden in my files long enough. I hope y’all enjoy it!
Stanchez for life!!!
~~~~~~~~~~
Episode Placement:
GF = after the finale (season 3)
R&M = Between S1E10 and E11
(In S2E2, Rick dates 1/12/2015 on the drop-off papers for Jerry. Though Alex hates dating cartoons, it can be estimated that GF took place during 2013 thanks to Sev'ral Timez, so the next summer would be 2014. So… yeah. I put way too much thought into this.)
The vast galaxy in front of them was an endless sea of stars and space-clouds of many different colors. Some were green, some were blue, some were magenta, it honestly looked like a generic Hot Topic galaxy t-shirt.
But Rick didn’t give a shit about some fucking space-clouds or some fucking shop for teenagers who were trying too hard to be goth. Rick didn’t give a shit about the fact that Morty barely knew how to drive the fucking spaceship. Rick only have a shit about getting away from the other fucking spaceships that were after the humans, but he couldn’t drive because Rick had to repair the fucking weapon to kill those fucking bastards. Fuck.
“Aw, geez, Rick, hurry it up!” Morty yelled.
“Don’t tell me how to do my job, Morty!” Rick snapped back as he tinkered with the huge ray-gun that laid by his feet.
The spacecraft jolted to the side as a beam just barely missed it. Rick caught his screwdriver as it flew in the air for a second and he finished the final turn. Rick grinned maliciously and aimed the newest invention out at the enemy. He pulled the trigger and rather than a beam of light or a bullet escaping the gun, it appeared that nothing happened, until each spaceship seemed to be covered with blood and guts from the inside, covering the windows and halting the enemies’ spaceships.
“Oh my God, Rick, what the hell?!” Morty screamed.
“Relax, Morty, you’ve seen worse. It’s just a gun that released microscopic ninjas that slice people up from the inside until they’re nothing b-b-but guts.” Rick burped through the alcohol and leaned on the big gun proudly with a monotone voice and facial expression.
“No, Rick, what the hell IS THAT?!”
Rick looked ahead to see a wormhole of pink, blues, and whites glowing brightly in front of them. Morty was trying to turn the spaceship away, but they were being pulled in by gravity.
“Well, fuck.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Mabel was bouncing like she had springs on the bottoms of her shoes as she held her Grunkle Ford’s hand. They were both wearing ponchos and on their way to the magical part of the forest. Mabel, Dipper, Stan, and Ford had only been back in Gravity Falls for two days and Ford wanted to start off this summer right by bonding with his favorite grandniece in the Multiverse.
Ford felt guilty of the little time they had spent together the previous summer. True, he had arrived home a little late in the season, but he had spent plenty of time bonding with Dipper, leaving not nearly enough for Mabel. Ford loved her very much, but with Dipper things were more predictable. The boy was a lot like him, so Ford knew what to expect and how to bond with him, like playing Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons or working or investigating an anomaly together. Ford had no clue what twelve… thirteen-year-old girls liked and Mabel’s overwhelming flood of love and affection had startled Ford like an old alley-cat.
Still, he admired her positivity and loved to do arts-and-crafts with her. They had captured time last summer for her to make a beautiful hand-turkey on Ford’s six-fingered hand; she had said that the extra feather made it special. The old scientist had no idea what he had done to deserve Mabel… no, he didn’t deserve Mabel, but she seemed to like him, so he owed her some alone-time. Mabel seemed to like the supernatural almost as much as Dipper (Dipper took a more serious approach to it while Mabel seemed to accept everything with loving arms), so Ford offered to take her out to the magical part of the forest over breakfast and Mabel nearly choked on her Stan-cake out of pure joy.
Now, as the morning sun rose and was nearly above their heads, after about an hour of traveling and quietly talking, they were starting to reach the magical part of the forest.
“So, why do we need ponchos, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel asked as she used her free-hand to play with the yellow hood that was over her beautiful brown hair.
“Because the fairies we’re going to investigate are… rather messy.” Ford landed on. The Barf Fairies used to turn his stomach, but after traveling through dimensions for over thirty years, Ford’s stomach had hardened and since Mabel also seemed to have a strong gag-reflex, he decided that he would try to learn more about the less-than-pleasant type of fairies. “I would hate for them to ruin a Mabel Pines original.” Ford added with a smile down at the young teenager.
Mabel grinned braces-free (she had them removed back in February) up at the old scientist, loving it when he called one of her sweaters a Mabel Pines original, and her eyes twinkled when she saw the blue sweater through Ford’s poncho, the one she had made for him with a golden six-fingered hand on the front, like his old journals. “So, these are…”
“Barf Fairies.”
“Right. What do you already know about them?”
“Only that we should avoid whatever they eat.”
Mabel laughed along with him and said, “Okay. Well… I’ve actually never talked to or met a fairy before, so looks like we’re both starting from square-one. Did you meet any fairies out in the Multiverse?”
“Yes, but they were very different than the one here in Gravity Falls. I once landed in a dimension where the seasons changing was caused by the fairies, and in another dimension I met a giant fairy-queen that looked more like a slug with wings covered in glitter.”
Mabel opened her mouth to contribute to the conversation, but they both heard a noise and stopped walking in the woods. The sound had made them think of clanking metal and yells. They looked up and around at the trees, but a little puff of smoke confirmed that they had heard some sort of machine.
“What was that?” Mabel asked quietly.
“I’m not sure.” Ford said honestly and started to walk them to a clearing.
The two Pines left the cluster of pinetrees so they could look around the skies more clearly. It was a beautiful cloudless early-summer day. As they looked up at the heavens above, a flying-disk of a spaceship was whizzing over their heads, having trouble staying up in the air. Ford held Mabel close in fear of it crashing down near them, but the spaceship staggered over the woods and crashed landed from a safe distance.
“Aliens!” Mabel gasped. “Dipper told me about the one under the town! Do you think this is like that one?”
Ford, whose mind was racing, shook his head to try to think straight, and he said, “No, I… I think I know what it is, but… Mabel, I’m afraid the Barf Fairies are going to have to wait.”
Mabel peeled off her poncho and shook her hair free, revealing her purple sweater with a heart and sunglasses on it that matched her red skirt and headband. Ford also took off his poncho, pocketed both of the big yellow articles of clothing in his trenchcoat, but then pulled out his gun. He opened his mouth to tell Mabel to stay close, but she already pulled out her grappling hook and was standing behind Ford, waiting for him to lead the way.
Ford crept back into the woods with Mabel behind him. He had a good idea of what had crashed into Gravity Falls, but he had hoped that he was wrong. He didn’t want Mabel to meet him. Ford was hoping he would never show up in this dimension, but if he was still traveling around the Multiverse…
A low hissing noise from a busted engine told Ford and Mabel where to go. They only had to walk a minute before the spaceship came into view, landing in between two trees and leaving a trail of up-turned dirt in its path before coming to a halt. Ford and Mabel slowly moved towards the ship with their weapons in hand, but they found it unnecessary as a boy stumbled out and coughed into a fist, on his hands and knees and ruffled from the crash.
“Oh geez, oh man, we’re dead. We’re dead. We survived, but we’re dead.” The boy moaned as he slowly stood up. He looked about Mabel’s age, had short brown hair, and wore jeans and a yellow t-shirt with white sneakers.
Mabel pocketed her grappling hook while Ford let his arms fall to his side, but he kept the weapon in hand, just in case. “Huh. That was… not what I was expecting.” Ford said, more to himself than to Mabel.
Mabel stepped forward with her hands up kindly and she cleared her throat, gaining the boy’s attention. He blinked at the two humans and Mabel said in a soft voice, “Uh, hi, I’m Mabel. Are you hurt?”
“What?” The boy asked. He seemed jittery from the crash, his eyes darting and his forehead glistening with sweat. “Uh, n-no. No, I’m fine. I’m…”
“MORTY!”
The boy groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as he tilted his head upward. “Yup, that’s my name. Morty.”
An older man in a white lab-coat with blue-white hair stumbled out of the spaceship, and not out of drunkenness for a change. “Morty, you little…”
“Sanchez.” Ford growled and covered Mable’s ears. He knew this guy had a foul tongue, and while Ford and his brother might have sailors’ mouths, at least he and Stan knew to censor themselves around the kids. Ford’s old friend didn’t.
The old man in the lab-coat looked at Ford and his eyes widened in shock before he grinned. “Oh, no way! Good to see you again, Fordsie!” He laughed, amused by the scenario in front of him. “Great, another genius. Mind giving me a hand with this piece of… erm, crap?”
Ford groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, the sooner I can get you out of my home dimension, the better.”
The man Grunkle Ford had called Sanchez appeared shocked again and he dug around his coat. “Wait, wait, wait. Your home dimension?” Sanchez pulled out a white flat gun with a green bulb on top and he seemed to be reading off a tiny screen. “Huh. Dimension 46’\. This one’s way out of the loop. There’s no way I could’ve gotten you home with this thing. How did you manage to pull that off?”
“Long story.” Ford said and pocketed his hand in his trenchcoat.
“Grunkle Ford,” Mabel piped and smiled up at the visitor. “Who’s this?”
Ford looked down at his niece and decided to share this piece of his thirty-year-long journey in the Multiverse with her. “Sweetie, this is my old acquaintance, Rick Sanchez. Rick, this is my great-niece, my brother Sherman’s granddaughter, Mabel.”
“Oh, hey, nice to meet you, little lady.” Rick said with a small smile and then jabbed a thumb back at Morty. “That little screw-up is my grandson, Morty.”
“Oh, yeah, like you could do any better, Rick.” Morty huffed with crossed-arms over his thin chest.
“I could do better, Morty,” Rick said and rounded on his grandson. “You know what else I can do? I can also leave you behind on Asteroid 3924987, but I won’t. I can also feed you to a five-headed mega-bird from Bird-Person’s homeworld, but I won’t. I can also send you to the citadel and trade you in for a new Morty, but I won’t, as long as you quit being a pain in the ass.”
“Rick, please!” Ford hissed.
“It’s okay, Grunkle Ford, I heard worse when I went to get a snack and Stan was watching football.” Mabel giggled, remembering the other night when Stan’s team was losing and he let out a long stream of colorful swears that made him turn red when he realized Mabel had heard him.
“Of course you have.” Ford groaned and shook his head. “Well, let’s see what the damage is, Sanchez. What caused the crash? Did your micro-verse battery finally start a rebellion?”
“No, because they know if they do, I’ll get a new battery, Genius. When we came to this dimension through a wormhole we hit a mountain side and a part broke off here…”
The two old men examined the spacecraft and were discussing ways to fix it, meanwhile Morty walked up to Mabel and rubbed an arm nervously. “So, uh… I guess they met out in the Multiverse, huh?”
Mabel nodded; she didn’t know how these two old men knew each other or why these two humans were in a spaceship, but based on context clues, Morty’s guess made the most sense. “Wait, so you two are from another dimension?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” Morty said with a shrug. “This is 46'\, right? My dimension is C-137.”
“Wow, cool!” Mabel said with shining eyes that threw Morty for a loop. “So, what’s different over there? Was Benjamin Franklin a man and never accomplished anything? Are dinosaurs still alive? Oo! I bet your sky is lavender-purple all the time, right?!”
Morty laughed a little and rubbed his arm again. “Uh, no. It’s, I think, pretty much the same as yours. My Grandpa Rick says there’s an infinite number of realities that are just slightly different from one another. M-M-Maybe the difference between C-137 and 46'\ is so small and unimportant it’s not obvious.”
“Oh, okay,” Mabel peered over to watch Rick and Ford work together for a little bit and then she smiled back at Morty. “So, do you always go on adventures with your Grandpa Rick?”
Morty sighed in a shaky puberty-voice and nodded. “Yeah, he’s always making me go on these stupid adventures with him.”
“What?” Mabel gasped with a smile. “They’re not stupid! I’d love to go to a different dimension with my Grunkle Ford! I’ve already been on one with him and Grunkle Stan when they had to rescue me from Dimension Mab3L. The other mes were a little self-centered, but it was a lot of fun to punch myself in the face and rescue my great-uncles.”
“Yeah, but from the sounds of it, your - what did you say, Grunkle Ford? - is nice to you.” Morty pointed out. “My Grandpa Rick treats me like garbage all the time, but then again he treats everyone like garbage, so at least he’s only signaling me out to stay hidden from the Federation or whatever.”
“Oh.” Mabel said quietly and held her hands behind her back bashfully, unsure of how to respond, but she decided to try to make Morty feel better. “Well, my other great-uncle, Grunkle Stan, is a little tough sometimes, but that’s only because he cares about his family and is toughening us up for a tougher world. He’s my hero!”
“That sounds nice.” Morty said with a small smile. He didn’t think Rick cared about his family like this Stan guy, but Morty wasn’t in the mood to kill Mabel’s optimism. “I like your sweater, by the way.”
“Thanks!” Mabel grinned proudly. “I made it!”
Morty’s eyes widened. “Wow, really?” Mabel held out her arm so Morty could feel her sleeve. “Oh my God, that’s amazing! You’re really talented.”
“Hey, thanks! If you want, I can make you one!”
“R-R-Really? You’d do that for me?”
“Sure! What’s your favorite color?”
“Uh… y-yellow.”
“Got it!”
Ford and Rick walked up to the teenagers and the six-fingered researcher said, “Well, I’m afraid the ship lost a part we need, but luckily I have the materials we need to build one in the lab back home.”
“Great!” Mabel said and grinned. “Let’s go! So, how did you two meet, anyway?”
Ford and Mabel led the way with Rick and Morty closely behind. “We met about twenty years ago in a high-security prison. I remember feeling relieved to see another human. I had been without human contact for a little under two years at the time since I had been stranded on some desert planet.”
“Yeah, this nerd got into big trouble for the extinction of a few million species on Planet 8824816.”
“What?!” Mabel gasped and looked up at her great-uncle, unable to believe that he would cause such mass genocide. “Grunkle Ford, you didn’t?!”
“Of course I didn’t, Mabel.” Ford quickly reassured his niece. “That was the planet I thought was a sandwich. Anyway, at least I didn’t do what Rick was in for…”
“What did he do?”
“I purposely caused mass genocide on Sector 56, Dimension “”113.” Rick said in a scaringly monotone voice.
“What?!”
“Rick!” Ford and Morty both scolded at the same time.
“Hey, it was either me or the Valakawns!” Rick snapped back. “Those bloodsucking leeches didn’t see what hit them, until the Federation caught me hanging from a tree upside-down, passed out and drunk.”
“Alright, enough!” Ford said firmly. “Let’s just build the part we need so we can get you two back to your home dimension. And, Mabel, once they’re gone we’re going to patch the wormhole with alien adhesive.”
“Okay. Last thing we want is for Dipper to get stuck in Dimension Dipp-3R or something.”
“Who’s Dipper?” Morty asked quietly.
“My twin brother!”
“Oh, cool! I don’t have a twin, but I have met multiple versions of myself.”
“Hey, me too! I’ve met Table-Mabel, Explainble, Threebel, Military-Expert-Mabel, Brainbel, T-Rex-Mabel, Fire-Mabel, and even Anti-Mabel!”
“I’ve met an Evil-Morty with one eye-patch who worked for the worst Rick in the Multiverse. I’ve also… Well, let’s just say I’ve met a lot of mes.”
The two teenagers talked while the two old men chatted on ways to fix the ship as they got closer to the Mystery Shack. Rick looked up and down the place and then snorted, amused. “Huh. Not the kind of place I’d expect from Mr. Stick-In-The-Mud over here.”
“My brother had to make some… changes in order to pay off the mortgage.” Ford explained and led the way to the back door. He opened it and said, “My lab is downstairs behind the vending machine in the gift shop. I believe Soos is giving a tour, so it should be safe to enter.”
“Gift shop?” Rick laughed and poked Ford’s shoulder. “When did you get so soft?”
“I am not< soft.” Ford said dignified.
“You’re wearing a blue sweater with a gold six-fingered hand.”
“My niece made it for me!” Ford said proudly and puffed out his chest.
Mabel rolled her eyes with blushing chubby cheeks and a smile and decided to let the old guys fight. She took Morty’s hand and said, “Come on! I’ll show you my room! I have a huge sticker collection you’ll love!”
“Oh, okay!” Morty said and allowed her to drag her up to the attic; it was nice being dragged to something nice and safe rather than some new monster of a different dimension.
“But hey, you turned your lab into a gift shop.” Rick was saying while the teenagers did their own thing. “Least you’re making a profit.” Ford wasn’t sure if Rick was being sincere or not.
“Actually, it’s all my brother’s.” Ford said and waved the subject away. “We’re getting off track. Let's just get you and your grandson out of my dimension.”
“Geez, you used to be way more fun.” Rick said with sagged shoulders. “What happened to the guy who ranked up million on Lottocron Nine and got tattoos with octopus-armed piglets? What happened to the interdimensional criminal who once shot fifty Bureaucrats to save a fellow scientist’s ass?”
“He discovered what was most important, Sanchez.” Ford growled with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Oh, HO!” A voice laughed as he shook his head and left the kitchen. “I know this guy isn’t talking about Mr. Goody-Nerds-Shoes!”
Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. The last thing he wanted was for his twin and his old friend to meet, but it seemed like some greater being(s) really wanted this to happen, so here we go.
Rick grinned at the sight of a conman in his suit and fez, with a can in his hand, instantly giving Rick the vibe that this guy couldn’t be trusted but would be a hit at parties and wasn’t a total snitch. “Now THIS is what I’m talking about! Name’s Rick, Ford Two.”
Stan barked a laugh and shook his hand. “The name’s Stan, Genius. And please for the love of Moses you weren’t just talking about my brother?”
“Are you kidding, this guy was a total badass!” Rick jabbed a thumb back at the fuming scientist. “He was a total idiot, had no clue how the Multiverse worked, but he was always willing to barrel into whatever crap was out there and destroy some shit!”
“Okay, you and I need to talk.” Stan tossed him the can of soda and went into the kitchen to get some snacks. “I wanna hear more about what kind of crazy violent nomad Ford was back in the day!”
“You got it! Just tell me how the hell he ended up with a cool twin? What, did you inherit all the fun traits leaving him with hobbies like collecting alien stamps?”
Stan barked a laugh and was back, looping an arm around his skinny neck. “I love this guy! Now, please tell me you were there when he got his stupid tattoo.”
“Stanley,” Ford scolded. “We’re supposed to be working on building the part he needs so he can go home. Rick and his grandson are stranded here…”
“Please, I can make that piece of shit from scratch in my sleep.” Rick said. “And Morty’s fine. That niece of yours will keep his small brain entertained for hours.” He turned to Stan and asked, “You got any booze, we had a rough crash here and I need a drink.”
“I got a secret stash in my room,” Stan muttered. “I don’t like drinking with the kids here, but I guess you can have a shot of whisky to relax. Want some soda?”
“Sure, why not. There’s a bit in my flask to last.”
And the old men walked away for the ‘Employees Only’ part of the house, leaving Ford to grit his teeth in annoyance and then bite his lip in discomfort. This could only end one way and he was not looking forward to it.
To be continued...
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Universe Falls Reading Challenge!
Since UF is now officially halfway over, I’ve decided to do a fun little thing to gear up for another fun little thing I have in mind for September. But for August, I wanna run a reading challenge where, during every day of the month, we all read a little of UF and then share our comments/memories/thoughts and so on about it! This way, if you haven’t checked UF out, you can do so at a fun, easy pace and if you already have read it, you can refresh your memory about the entire story so far before we go into its second half! And so, allow me to go into a little more detail about the...
Universe Fals Reading Challenge!
Rules: Throughout the month of August, we’ll be reading two chapters of Universe Falls a day and sharing our thoughts/feelings/memories/favorite quotes/parts/anything else we want to! This all leads up to the UF Third Anniversary Special I have planned in September! So basically, the rules are simple. Each date listed below has two (sometimes more) chapters of UF, which are the chapters for that day. Feel free to leave your thoughts, comments, ect on the chapter either on my tumblr via asks or here on the UF Discord (in the UF Challenge channel: https://discord.gg/RNXuNxe). If you find yourself behind or just want to skip a chapter for whatever reason, no worries! Read at your own pace and have fun with it! Enjoy! ^_^
August 1: Welcome to Gravity Falls + The Shack Below
August 2: The Temple Above + First Meeting
August 3: The Journal + Gem Glow
August 4: Legend of the Giant Woman + Headhunters
August 5: The Cool Kids + Strong in the Real Way
August 6: Magic and Mystery (both parts)
August 7: Lil’ Gideon + Copies and Clones
August 8: Bottomless Pit + Lion and Waddles
August 9: Arcade Mania + Summerween
August 10: An Indirect Kiss + Measure Up + Gems and Journals
August 11: Mirror Gem + Waterfall Gem
August 12: Irrational Treasure + Space Race
August 13: The Deep End + Future Vision
August 14: Miss Mystery + On the Run
August 15: Land Before Swine + Straight to Video + Revenge Trip
August 16: Dreamscaperers + Gideon Rises
August 17: Scary-oke + Golf War
August 18: Marble Madness + Into the Bunker
August 19: Alone Together +Together Forever +Forever Alone
August 20: Rose’s Scabbard + Blendin’s Game
August 21: The Dinner Shack + Dipper and Lapis
August 22: The Return + Jailbreak
August 23: Full Disclosure + Joy Ride
August 24: Sock Opera (both parts)
August 25: Do It For Them + Soos and the Real Girl
August 26: Keeping It Together + Society of the Blind Eye
August 27: The Ballad of Rose and Greg (both parts) + Northwest Mansion Nightmare
August 28: Not What He Seems + A Tale of Two Stans
August 29: Lost and Found + Cry for Help
August 30: Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons + Evergreen Inn
August 31: Stanchurian Candidate + Friend Ship
September 1: Chille Tid (both parts) (optional, if completed by the end of August)
Link to google doc containing dates: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZZPUL9edtqvGDJrd9cT-AYGEiFmaQVJrOoa_2jU6A9I/edit?usp=sharing
I’ll be sure to post reminders of what chapters are up for each day early every morning and throughout the day so you won’t have to keep referring back to this post. If you have any more questions about this whole thing, don’t hesitate to ask me! Before we finish this post up, I’d just like to give you all a whole hearted THANK YOU for sticking with me and UF thus far! Its almost been 3 years since this party started and I can promise the best is yet to come! ^_^
#universe falls reading challenge#universe falls#uf events#gravity falls#steven universe#crossover#fanfiction
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I’ll Kick Your Ass, I’ll Kick My Fiancee’s Ass, I’ll Kick My Own Ass! (2/11)
Also on Ao3
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Part 2: Orientation
A slim black notebook with gilded pages. The cover is leather(ish) except for a shiny rectangle where the words “Diary” once were. However, on the inside cover is a nameplate that says, “This Diary Belongs To:” and is signed, “Akane Tendo”:
Why do I bother keeping this thing? All I do is read the entries where I’m happy and excited and figure everything will work out, and then I feel even more upset about what actually happened.
So, yeah. Dad went through with his threat-I mean, “frugality”, and made Nabiki drive down here with me and Kasumi. Nabiki was a total bitch about it so we didn’t get here till two. It’s a good thing Kasumi doesn’t look like a parent, cause she was supposed to be gone by five, but she couldn’t get out till six.
Once she was gone Nabiki went to the dining hall with me, probably just so I could ask, “Why is it so empty in here?” and she could say, “They’re probably all at their first assembly.” with a nonchalant sip of milk.
Her fucking soy milk that she isn’t even supposed to bring into the dining room.
So I scarfed my food and ran to the big arts hall, and I burst into the auditorium just in time for the sexual health and gender lecture.
They had just gotten to the part about gender identity.
I wanted to back out of the auditorium and punch myself in the face.
But I didn’t. Cause that would be even weirder than busting into an auditorium like it was prom night in an eighties movie.
So. Whatever. Great. A great way to start.
Technically nothing starts till tomorrow. Tomorrow will be better. I’ll actually meet people tomorrow, and we’ll do reading and stuff, and there won’t be any more awkward lectures about consent where everyone wants to laugh, or, at least, I want to laugh, but not laugh, but there’s a part of me that just wants to giggle every time they say sex.
It’s okay. Already it’s better than last year because everyone here is going to know me as Akane Tendo, and Ranma Fucking Saotome is two hundred miles away.
Now that is a good way to start the year.
Last Five Posts on okonomiyakimeansiloveyou.tumblr.com:
5. A big ole gooey slab of okonomiyaki spread with special sauce and mayonnaise, marbled so as to resemble the pattern usually seen on mille-feuille.
4. Fanart for Elementary.
3. Beyoncé on feminism, gif set.
2. A photo of a dorm room. Thin white curtains hang from the open window, grazing a bookcase (doubling as a bedside table) scattered with perfume, contact lens case, note book, colored pens, and an orientation flier face down. #already a mess #of course #makes it feel more like home
1. A picture of two girls sitting cross legged on a bed together. One is chubby, with her hair done up in two big buns. It’s so dark it is almost purple (or is that a trick of the light, or a botched dye job?) She’s smiling and making a peace sign with one hand, the other wrapped around the neck of a bottle of grape soda. The girl next to her looks like she was doing the same thing, but she jostled her can of ginger ale, and the photo catches her mid-jerk, hair whipping out behind her as she turns, trying to steady herself.
The next photo is the chubbier girl laughing as the other slumps against the wall, a hand over her face.
She’s smiling, though.
From: [email protected]
Dude, bro, man, pal,
I’ve got a tournament, so I won’t actually be at school till orientation’s over (I didn’t know orientation was a thing, but whatever, the dean cleared me, so it’s fine) so do whatever you want to the room. I’ll deal. Should be there sometime Sunday.
See ya!
Ranma Saotome
——Bitches ain’t shit!
From: [email protected]
Dear Akari,
it’s almost midnight, but I really wanted to tell you that I got here okay, and it’s actually a lot nicer than you thought it would be. It’s not Oxford, but I like the view out my window. Our dorm is kind of built into a hill, so my room is on the ground floor, but there’s a story high drop right out my window, then a hill, then the woods. They’re the kind of thin, scraggly woods you get a lot in America, but I bet it’ll be amazing in a few months when all the leaves start changing color.
That’s really all there is to talk about. I haven’t even met my roommate yet because he has a martial arts tournament and won’t be here for orientation. I looked him up and he’s apparently some martial arts prodigy—if that’s a thing??? Maybe I’ll have something more interesting to write about when he does show up, but for now I just wanted to tell you I’m doing well, and I miss you, and I hope you’re okay, too.
Love, Ryoga
A fluffy pink volume with a tiny heart shaped lock you could break by jamming a switch blade in it. Although why would you want to, since Kodachi would probably repurpose it as an overwrought metaphor, thusly:
The sun rises
But the black veil of my loneliness
Will not be pierced.
I walk the balance beam with purpose
But tears slide aimless down my cheeks.
My misery fills me up. Roots my feet to the beam.
I break from gravity
Yet I cannot fly.
If twirling upside down can not change my perspective—-
How can college ever hope to manage it?
From: [email protected]
Your receipt for transaction #34092:
1 Carton Bailey’s Farm Fresh Milk:Whole Fat
4 packs of erasers
2 Canisters Smirnoff Whipped Cream
3 Jars Bacardi Maraschino Cherries (1 without flavoring, 2 with watermelon)
Total: 167.55USD
From: [email protected]
Your receipt for transaction #39475:
5 Cartons Snappy Ice Cream (peppermint, peach, cinnamon bun)
6 loaves of bread, Blue Ribbon Artisanal.
4 packs Dom P’s dogs
2 cartons Altoid’s Mints
Total: 443.46USD
Facebook messenger:
Shampoo: Psssst—You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s a party this weekend.
Ukyo: Who’d you hear that from?
Shampoo: Dude in my discussion group mentioned it. Said it’s a freshman only thing.
Ukyo: Sounds lame.
Shampoo: Nah, he said it would be in that four person room, in the basement of the guys dorm? It’s big and the closest TA is a floor away so…
Ukyo: What do you think freshman can even get up to?
Shampoo: Ukyo, we’re college freshman now. What can’t we get up to? ;3
Shampoo: Also dude was bragging that there would be enough booze to drown in.
Ukyo: I guess I can’t say no to bathing in bacardi ;)
Shampoo’s phone ——> Mousse’s phone
Could you tell gran that I can’t come home
this weekend?
Why don’t you do it?
You know she’s bad with texting.
She has more social . media accounts than . you do.
Restaurant stuff doesn’t count.
Still.
You could tell her if . you wanted.
She’ll just talk me out of it. Ask
me, ‘why can’t you come see
your poor ailing grandmother?’
Fine. Only because . you still fall for that . when I am literally . watching her haul a . dead pig out of the . car and gut it like a . fish.
From: [email protected]
Dear Ryoga,
I miss you so much!!!! At least once the term starts I’ll have classes to keep me busy, but for now all I do is think about you and hope America hasn’t roughed you up too much. I know it’s a small college, you wanted to be closer to your mom, etc. but I’m still a little worried about how a year abroad is going to treat you.
At least I’ll get you for Christmas. It seems so far off (121 days, if you’re bored enough to count) but I know it’ll be here in a second; some years it’s like I get out of the pool and slide right into a jumper and waffle treads.
I hope your orientation thing is going well. Are you actually doing any work, or are they just making sure you know where the washing machines are? Did I tell you that when my Aunt Jackie was doing her first term she slept in the washing machine room for a week because her roommate always had her boyfriend over? I’ve heard so many college horror stories now that I’m going there. It reminds me of my first cooking competition. It’s only after you’ve been accepted and can’t back out that everyone starts talking about that time their oven exploded or their creme fresh was trés rotten. But I’m sure we can tackle this together. <3
All my love,
Akari.
——killin’ me softly/and I’m still fallin’/Still the one I need/I will always be with you
Kodachi’s Journal:
Oh!
That I were like the sparrow!
Free to leave come the winter
And return to any nest I chose.
Trapped in this prison.
Smiling
And behind my smile
I wonder
Who here can not bear the pain of the ambiguity of their emphembral ephmenral limited existence?
Am I alone in my pain?
Perhaps I could relive myself
If only I had a true grand experience
A truly life defining moment
To write about
For this stupid assignment
Which torments my dreams.
Akane’s Diary:
He’s here.
I was in the boys dorm because Betty, (this girl I’ve been hanging out with, Bio major) wanted to grab her boyfriend for dinner. Like in the girl’s dorm, everyone’s room has a little paper square with their name on it on the door, and there it was. In smeary comic sans on door 1C: Ranma Saotome.
Fuck.
Why did I think I could ever just go somewhere and be Akane Tendo?
All I wanted was a school no one from my high school was going to. Somewhere really liberal and maybe on the small side. Somewhere where no one would know me as the guy who’s now a girl who got engaged and then threw down with his/her fiancé in the fucking parking lot.
It’s almost funny. I should have expected this out of my bad sitcom of a life. I should have realized that Ranma’s complete lack of drive, combined with his inability to let down his father, and my father’s apparent desire to ruin my life by associating me with them, would cause this to happen.
Of course he would be enrolled here.
Of course.
Why do I ever hope things will change?
No, no, no pity party. I can change this. I can set Ranma straight. I could get him expelled if I wanted. Fuck him! I am not the one who doesn’t belong here, I shouldn’t be the one to leave.
Final Orientation Assignment
Please write a narrative essay describing a life changing event. The event chosen may be big or small, but the essay must fully describe an experience that changed the way you view the world, how you choose to live your life, etc. The experience may be as personal in nature as you like. You will not have to read in front of your group, though you will be invited to.
Requirements:1,000-2,500 words in length.
Must be narrative in structure. Remember, scene not summary!
Must be an event that affected you. You may not write about another’s experience.
NOTE: Due to issues in previous years, please do not write about losing your virginity, or other sexual experiences. Coming out has been a common topic among these essays, but we ask that you refrain from explicitly sexual material.
Ukyo Kuonji Orientation Group 1 August 18th
How I Learned the Truth
Your best friend should always tell you the truth. I told my best friend that, and he told me the truth: that he had always been a boy. A few years later he told me another truth: That he liked me. Then I came out, and I believed that the truth will set your free, and every other platitude, besides. Love is friendship that has caught fire. The world is your oyster. Tuna is good for your health.
Then my boyfriend told me another truth: He was engaged.
I, the person, who would believe anything, said, “Yeah, right.” I was stupid enough to wonder if what he had said was the start of a proposal.
He stared at me, toying with the scarf around his neck. We were standing at the front gate of our high school. He’d been waiting for me there, early for once, even though it was November and was already cold enough that most people were scurrying inside as fast as they could.
The front yard was fairly empty, so Ranma’s boots scuffling on the cement became the loudest sound.
“I’m engaged to this guy.” He said.
“You don’t even like guys.” I said, forgetting that the rest of the world doesn’t know my boyfriend. Doesn’t always think of him as a boy.
“My dad, he wants me to marry this guy. He’s got this idea, you know, cause I’m going to take over the dojo.”
“There isn’t a dojo to take over.” I said, forgetting that Ranma would dive into a pit of hungry cats if his father asked him to. Would gladly take over an imaginary dojo.
“His family has one. A real dojo. It’s really nice. They’re that family dad and I have dinner with on Sundays. You met them once, remember? That’s why I was so weird that day. Our dads were already talking about this.” Under his breath he added, “Making shitty innuendos, even.”
I had already forgotten the faces of the huge family who all rushed past me on their way out of Ranma’s house, but I remembered vividly how good they had smelled, one of them holding a stack of tupperware, steam condensing on the lids. Ranma had been a little weird after that, but I thought it was because we had sex for the first time about a week ago and it was that sort of, pass-me-a-chip-will-you-person-I-lost-my-virginity-to? awkwardness. Not Oh-and-by-the-way-I’m-engaged-to-someone-else-because-I-constantly-crave-my-father’s-approval awkwardness.
I didn’t even know they made that kind.
“But you love me.” I said, and that was the truth. I took Ranma’s hand and pressed it to my chest, except I was a bit overzealous and slammed it into the soft spot between my collarbone and breasts. It bruised. “If your parents are going to suggest a child marriage, why-why don’t you and I get married?”
The second worst truth I learned that day was that I would have done that. I would have skipped school, stolen my father’s car, and found a court house. I would have married Ranma. I could see him and I bursting into my house, red cheeked from the wind and happiness, clutching the marriage license between us, smiling and laughing and invulnerable.
Ranma’s hand slid from mine. Our marriage license fluttered to the ground.
“One, we’re not eighteen. Two…” Ranma held my eyes for a moment, and it was the worst moment of my life because I saw the truth: All those emotions I thought were love, they could be boxed up and pushed aside. Perhaps not without some angst, but it could be done. The truth was that love can not climb mountains. It can’t cure illness. It can’t even argue with your father.
Love is friendship that has caught fire, sure, but then it goes out and the friendship has all burned up. No love lasts. Not the love between a child and their parent, not the love between friends, not the love between lovers. Eventually all you have is a hope of love as you do everything in your power to hold on to the person who used to embody it.
The late bell rang and we both headed inside. We were walking next to each other, but not together. That was when I decided that if Ranma didn’t have to care about this, I didn’t have to either. I wasn’t going to become like him, chasing down love and trying to corner it in dark alleys. I boxed up all my feelings and tossed them down the back stairs. Along with all the shit he had ever given me or left at my house over the years. My dad watched from his chair in the living room as I found every single book, sock, and stupid trinket that I knew was his.
“I thought you two were going to prom together.” My dad said while I was rummaging under the couch. Before my mother left she told me all sorts of important things, like that I should go to therapy and that my parents lost their virginity to each other at prom. I have a feeling my father suspected that Ranma and I were going to keep up the tradition, sans ditching our real dates by the punch bowl.
“Prom’s not till next year.” I emerged from under the couch covered in dust bunnies.
“Still. I thought you two had plans.”
“We do.” They just aren’t the same ones.
My father leaned forward in his chair and put his hands on his knees. “Ukyo, I just want to know what Ranma did to upset you, and if it warrants me going down there with a gun.”
“You don’t have a gun, dad.” I kicked up the rug to see if anything had been swept under it. “And even if you did, you wouldn’t threaten a kid with it.”
“I don’t think you’re kids anymore. You can certainly hurt each other like adults.”
“He didn’t hurt me. He just doesn’t love me anymore.” Of course that was the fact that made my gut burn like there was a hot knife in it, but it was a fact. Ranma hadn’t hurt me. He told me the truth.
Genma’s phone——-> Ranma’s phone
Ranma?
Ranma?
Did you go to get the food? I want two breasts and coleslaw.
Ranma?
Ranma?
Either you’re dead in a ditch or you’re going to be.
August 20th . Orientation group 4 . Ryoga Hibiki
An Experience That Changed My Life.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
I’m in love.
Okay, okay, wait, here’s the punchline: She’s not my girlfriend. Or a friend. Or even my mom.
I just found out that I’ve never been in love before, not with any of those people. I fell in love two nights ago, when I woke up to someone screaming my roommate’s name.
It took me a second to wake up all the way, and for my brain to turn the sounds I was hearing into words, but then it was clear as day.
“Ranma Saotome! Ranma Saotome, I know you’re in there!”
I cranked the window open even further and stuck my head out to scream back, but then I saw her and I just…
She’s so beautiful. She was on the ledge where the hill behind my dorm starts. She stood straight, her fists clenched, shaking with anger. Her hair was cut sharp and short, and her eyes were huge in the strange light. Half blue moonlight, half disturbingly orange street lamp. The glow was unearthly. She was awesome—The old meaning of the word, beautiful and terrible and probably not to be touched, but magnetic all the same.
She paused for a second, then screamed
“RANMA SAOTOME!”
with her whole heart, and all her breath besides.
“He’s not here!” I yelled back.
“Shut up!” She took another breath, ready to scream all night for retribution, so I continued,
“I’m serious, he had a tournament. He won’t be here till orientation ends. He sent me an email about it. I’m his roommate.” It was probably a little garbled, because I don’t have the lung capacity that Akane does, but she understood me. She was quiet for a moment.
“Come in!” I yelled, “We can talk about it.”
“Shut up!” Someone screamed from a different floor.
“Okay!” She said, and she took off running. She was barefoot under her skirt and her legs were so long when she ran they shortened the ground beneath her.
I was watching her run when I remembered that I was in my boxers. I jumped back from the window, put on a light, turned on some pants, and hoped my room didn’t already reek of b.o.
Then she was in my room, and she was just as ethereal under the fluorescents as she had been outside. Her eyes slid from the bare mattress on one side of the room to my half. Not that there was much difference. White sheets, my yellow flannel pillow case that I’ve had since I was ten, half of my key chain collection hanging over my desk and the tiny plastic replicas of the crown jewels. There were also a few postcards and the rest of my keychain collection piled on top of my desk, waiting to be hung up properly.
“I’m Ryoga Hibki,” I said, extending my hand to shake.
“Akane Tendo.” She said, and I found out that her hands had thick calluses on them. It was surprising when I had expected soft skin, but given the smoothness when she ran maybe I shouldn’t have.
“What do you need with Ranma?” I asked. I managed to lean casually against my desk and not slip and crack my head on a varnished corner and kill myself.
“He…” She paused, choosing her words carefully. “He and I have some history we need to sort out.”
My heart plummeted, then rose so quickly I felt dizzy. What did that mean? Was it good? For me? All I knew was that I had to say something similar if she asked about Akari. Lets say she somehow intuited that I currently had a girlfriend. Let’s say. But I won’t very very soon.
“So he put a tournament over orientation and got away with it.” She muttered. “Of course.”
“Well, it’s not like it takes much orienting.” I said, “Y’know, the dorms are here, the classrooms are over there, and the vending machine is down the hall. I figured it all out on my first day.” I puffed my chest up like that was an accomplishment, and she laughed, which actually was one.
“I know. All he’s really missing out on is having to write this dumb essay thing.” (I’m sorry if that offends you, but you said we should all be as honest as possible in these essays. Actually, if that’s true, I wonder if you’re going to have a stack of essays about how stupid these essays are. Not that I think they’re stupid, but that’s just the sort of smart-ass thing a bunch of college freshman would try to get away with).
Anyway, I’ll have to skim a bit, because she said some really personal things about her, and this guy, and the not-relationship they have, even though their parents seem to be bent on getting them together, and you said we weren’t supposed to write about someone else’s experience, so I’ll let Akane write about that in her essay if she wants.
But, even if I can’t tell you exactly what she said, I think I can tell you how she said it. How she enunciates the important words very clearly, how she wiggles her hips a little bit when she’s excited, and how we talked and talked and talked for so long I almost didn’t have the time to sit down and write an entirely new essay. Not that the original one was any good(it was about coming here, and how I’m really excited to be in one place for a whole four years, but that is an experience I hope to have, not one I already did, so I knew it was bullshit from the start), and maybe this one isn’t much better. I mean, it’s just about me falling in love. I’m sure this whole thing has been done to death, but goddamn.
I never got it, you know, the endless poems, and songs, and books about love. I suppose that’s proof right there that I was never in love. I didn’t see it that way at the time. I thought, ‘Sure, love’s great, but does everyone really need to be going on about it all the time?’, but now that I’m in it, I mean sunk so deep I feel weightless, I’ve found out that love is more than worth going on and on about. I mean, I don’t know how I can keep myself from just getting up in the middle of class and saying, “Hey, this Sandra Cisneros poem is great and all, but who wants to talk about how perfect Akane’s laugh is? Like, is there a scientifically provable better sound out there? And, if so, is it even worth tracking down?”
All those cheesy things they say about love, they’re true. And when you feel them down to your bones you find that they fill you up until everything you know about love just comes pouring out.
Face book, Ranma Saotme, Latest post:
A picture of a slushie larger and more red than anything humans were ever meant to ingest in one sitting, jammed into a car cupholder.
The caption above reads: Road trip=cheat day, right? ;p
Ranma’s phone——> Genma’s phone
Just got to school. Figured I might
as well head out.
Glad you were so excited to see
Akane. But how am I supposed
to get my car back?
Seen ✓
What the fuck does that mean?
Ranma, I want my car back.
Ryoga’s phone——-> Ranma’s phone
I dunno when you’re done with
the dean or whatever
But some guys are having a
party in our dorm. You know
the basement room?
No, but I’m ready to party
Excellent.
CRAZY DRUNK FRESHMAN CAN DANCE AND DUEL??!!
A video clearly taken on a smart phone and simply thrown onto youtube, given the huge black margins. The footage is grainy, but not badly lit.
It’s hard to tell if the room is a basement or a living room, given the concrete floors. It sure looks like a house party, though, young people milling around with red cups, someone laughing obnoxiously loud just off camera.
The music that was playing unobtrusively in the background suddenly blares into the foreground as the camera is trained on a desk covered in half eaten junk food.
“Oh shit!” Someone screams, “I know this one!”
Heads turn in the direction of the voice. The camera doesn’t.
A guy lands on the cluttered table. You don’t see him leap, just land. He’s debatably handsome, and clearly drunk, though he still manages to get down with considerable skill. A bit off balance, perhaps with more booty wiggles than a sober person would allow themselves, but the boy can dance.
People are starting to crowd around the makeshift stage, and the camera is hiked higher.
“Hey!” The guy yells, breaking out of his dancing reverie to single out someone not visible from this far back. “Come on, dance with me!” He slides out of view, but a second later he jumps back onto the table, carrying a girl princess-style. She’s wearing a conservatively cut red velvet dress, like she’s at her cousin’s Christmas recital or something, but she looks appropriately confused at this sudden turn of events.
The guy sets her down on the table and starts dancing around her. Not like a bird doing a mating dance, but more like she’s a pole. A pole he finds very attractive. Hoots and whistles emanate from the crowd. The camera is jostled, and for a second whoever is holding it turns and we can see someone with a long brown ponytail and a grin taking up their entire face.
“Send me a copy of this!” They yell. “That asshole’s my ex!”
“Oh, okay,” Says our cameraman. They focus on this person for another second as they laugh, before remembering what they were supposed to be doing and the camera swings back to the main attraction.
The girl on the table has gone bright red, and seems to be trying to distract herself from the fact that half of her class is watching a guy grind on her when she yells, “So what’s your name?”
He kisses her cheek and spins her around, before dropping to one knee, “Ranma Saotome!” He says, before taking her hand and kissing it, as though this is a proper introduction from another era.
“Kodachi!” Someone screams from the back of the room. This time when heads turn the camera follows. A man stands in the open door. He’s sober and wearing a nice button up, so he’s probably not a freshman. He marches toward the table, parting his underclassman like a green sea.
“Ranma Saotome!” He yells in Ranma’s face.
Ranma is still bent over Kodachi’s hand.
“That’s me!” He replies, with a shit eating grin.
The other man seethes for a moment. You can almost see steam rising off of him like a giant boar.
“Ranma Saotome, for besmirching my sisters honor, I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall duel you.”
“What, like, at dawn?”
Tatewaki reaches up and sweeps the girl, who, now that he mentions it, does share his dark, thick hair and elegant nose, down from the table. “At dawn it shall be. I look forward to seeing you on your knees.”
“I don’t swing that way, man.” Ranma says, smacking Tatewaki good naturedly on the back from his perch.
Tatewaki bristles. “You will be begging for mercy!” He goes back the way he came, stopping at the door to adjust his sister’s weight in his arms and announce, “You and I, at dawn, on the hill behind the science compound.”
“Can it be more like six am?” Someone in the crowd yells, and after a general murmur of agreement both men decide that six will be a better time.
“Six on the dot!” Tatewaki says, probably just so he has something to yell before sweeping out dramatically.
“See ya!” Ranma calls back with a cheery wave, ruining the effect.
The video cuts out.
A flimsy, spiral bound note book, with a little tulip on the front, and the words, “MY DIARY” in a faux-childish scrawl. It spends most nights under Kuno’s pillow. Not that he’s scared of his roommate-a brother in kendo-reading it, but he believes that if he sleeps with his transcribed thoughts near him someday his body and his mind and his heart may all line up and stop vexing him with different desires. It hasn’t worked yet, but it hasn’t messed his neck up either, so he keeps at it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Okay. Alright. I will remain calm. While this is not an auspicious start to this year, I am sure that all this can be cleared up before the end of the semester. Perhaps before September is out.
You recall, of course, how that vile creature, Ranma Saotome, assaulted my sister’s honor. So I challenged him to a duel in order to best defend it. A few students got into trouble for this sort of thing last year, but they were arguing over the Star Wars prequels, and I believe they had guns besides.
At any rate.
There we were, he and I, (and the expected crowd of onlookers) standing on the field that slopes down toward the science building, the mist rolling in, dawn greying the sky above us. It was quite a romantic setting, rather like the rolling moors of Scotland or Ireland—Wherever it is that they have rolling moors and mist in great abundance.
Nabiki Tendo was strutting around as though she had organized the event. Anything for money or attention, I suppose. That she never wishes to be an actress is a great blow to the industry (and likely robs many fine directors of one).
At any rate, there we were, my opponent and I, and he had come unarmed. Also, he was swaying rather strangely. There was no music, and he did not seem to have any headphones. It occurred to me that he may be suffering from over intoxication, but he had agreed to this duel, so it was entirely his problem if he was ill.
Still, I had not expected him to bring a weapon, so I tossed him my back up wood.
“My back up wood.” I explained as he stared quizzically at the sword he had just caught.
He turned his confused gaze to me. “As in, like, back up onto it?”
I wanted to spit at his crudity, but I am not an eye for an eye sort of man, so I managed to restrain myself.
“Draw your weapon!” I said.
He held his sword out as though he were far sighted and needed a better look at it.
“Alright!” Nabiki Tendo yelled. I shudder to recall how her voice rolled across the hill. She makes my skin crawl, and I’m sure she knows it. She winked at me. I wonder if she chalked my shivering up to the mist.
“Gentlemen, you will stand with your backs pressed against each other,” Saotome made a remark related to his earlier statement about my sword that does not bear repeating, “Walk five paces, turn, and draw.” She damned me with her smile once again. “Just to keep things equal. Alright, boys?”
It was not equal, I will say that right now. I knew that my opponent was not classically trained, but I had not expected him to throw his sword at me! I deflected it, of course, but then it was his whole body that was hurtling toward me. I was shocked that I was immediately on the defensive, but I did not intend to remain there. I not only dodged, but managed to spin him with a slight blow which knocked him much further off balance than it might a sober opponent.
He retaliated and almost wrenched the sword from my hands by bouncing off of it, but I got in an uppercut that must have bruised one of his thighs, and I would have done much worse… Oh, he should tremble at night at the thought of what I may have done to him!
But that was when I heard screaming, and the crowd watching us dispersed. It took me a moment to understand just what was happening, but then I caught sight of the back of Nabiki Tendo’s head, and, though I am not a sailor, I too understand what it means when rats flee a ship.
Now, I am a man of honor, but I am also a man who doesn’t want an expulsion on my record. I ran into the green house that adjoins the science building, wiggled through the doggy door that would get me into the science building proper, and hid in the room where they’ve been doing laser experiments. A perfectly honorable way to flee, I assure you.
At any rate, though I wish I had given Saotome an real injury to consider rather than merely the threat of one, I feel safe that my sister’s honor was as protected as it could be under the circumstances.
Kodachi’s Journal:
My darling.
Forgive me
The vile things done in the name of my honor,
I assure you my honor was not bruised, nor even beset.
The purity my brother imagines of me is not of my design.
Though,
I admit.
Never before your hands
and thighs
and rock hard ass
has another man’s touched me as yours did.
I know you will understand when I explain it to you.
I hear you did admirably in my name
Perhaps you have grasped my feelings already
We share a link unbound by the laws of time and space.
In fact, as I fell asleep last night,
I could hear your name in my chest rather than a beat.
Ran-ma
Ran-ma
Ran-ma
Now my life begins.
#ranma 1/2#fanfiction#college au#episotary#rankane#chapter 2#i'll kick your ass i'll kick my fiancees ass i'll kick my own ass#personal#text#long post#ranma saotome#kodachi kuno
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Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better.
Name: Adreanna! (please call me Addy though)
Nicknames: I go by Addy, which is actually a nickname. Others include Addsabelle (my grandma), Sir Stinksalot (my step-dad, he’s weird), Princess (my girlfriend), and...so fucking many weird ones my mom has given me. She used to call me Apple Jane a lot
Zodiac Sign: Taurus yo
Height: 5′ 5′ (I think?)
Orientation: Bisexual, with a heavy, HEAVY preference for girls. Like if you had a pie chart of how much I like girls vs how much I like boys, it would be like 90% to 10%. Idk why exactly. Probably has something to do with every guy I’ve ever had a crush on being a douche in one way or another (and rejecting me every time lol) But girls are soft and pretty and wonderful I love them so much. I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world. I wouldn’t trade her for anything.
Ethnicity: I am very white. Scottish, Polish, and German, though none of that really holds any significance in my life. I don’t have any family traditions except for unhappy marriages
Favorite Fruit: Pineapple probably. I really like grapes though and Pink Lady apples too. Oh and cantaloupe and clementines!
Favorite season: Autumn. All the way autumn.
crunchy leaves
sweaters
beautiful leaf colors!!! like!!! where I live has a lot of trees on a lot of hills, so looking out the window at a hill full of red and orange and yellow and brown makes my heart go “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
brisk weather
fall fashion is the best (I don’t participate in fashion as I am a whale with legs but everyone else looks beautiful)
perfect weather for hot drinks
APPLE CIDER
Thanksgiving!!!!
Halloween!!!!
bugs start to fuck off right back to hell where they belong
summer is ending. summer can fuck off I HATE summer
no longer sweating and dying
overcast skies, gloomy days, rain!!!!!
gray, cloudy, rainy days are,,, my reason for living
Funny thing is I actually don’t like pumpkin spice anything except for pumpkin pie guess I’ve gotta up my white girl game
Favorite Book: What the fuck kind of question is this. You come into my house. And you ask me to pick between my children.
This answer is really, really complicated. I love so many books for so many different reasons. I love Harry Potter because it’s what got me into reading longer series. I love Binge by Tyler Oakley because it helped me be more open-minded and was a big part in helping me discover what my sexuality was and that I was okay. I love The Hobbit because it was a book that helped me escape life and that taught me that caring about home and hearth is a good thing to do. I love the Warrior cats series because I fucking love cats and it was one of my first introductions to more adult situations (in terms of violence, death, grief, and loss). I love The Giver because it made me cry my eyes out. I love The Martian because it made me laugh. I love every Shel Silverstein book ever written because they made me feel like a kid again and that being a child at heart is okay. I love Journal 3 because Stanford Pines is a character I love with all my heart. I love the Percy Jackson series and most of its spin offs because I love mythology and modern aus. I love the Septimus Heap series because it was such a different, wonderful, beautiful approach to magic and wizardry that made me feel warm inside. I loved Entwined because...I just loved Entwined. (It’s a twisted fairy tale kind of deal with The 12 Dancing Princesses and one of the best things I’ve ever, ever read, hands down). I love A Series of Unfortunate Events because I have a dark sense of humor and because it makes me feel better about my life.
Books were basically my only friends growing up. People didn’t like me because I was fat, or because I didn’t want to play outside very much, or because I had only ever really talked to and hung out with my mom and my step-dad, so I had a more mature sense of humor and personality overall.. Friends came and went, but books never went anywhere. Books stayed. Junie B Jones always stayed with me. Jack and Annie always went on magical adventures that let me learn about history. Every character I met along the way stayed with me, even if they died, because I could pick them up off of a shelf and read their adventures again. I don’t read as much as I used to, because I spend a lot of time on the computer, but I’m working to change that. Books have always been an escape for me, and I’ll continue to love their stories until I die.
Favorite Flower: Roses! It’s a tie between red and pink roses. I also really like tulips!
Favorite scent: My girlfriend’s perfume. I think it’s sweetpea or something? Idk, but it always smells really nice. And I just like the way my clothes smell after I come home from spending the night at her house. It’s like her perfume, laundry detergent, and something that’s either wood or stale cigarette smoke.
Favorite color: Pink. Soft, pastel pinks.
Favorite animal: cats, red pandas, owls, wolves, penguins, cats, dogs (pugs in particular, I LOVE pugs!!!!), foxes, moose, narwhals, dolphins, orcas, eagles, hummingbirds, blue jays, orioles, lions, tigers, basically any big cats...I just love animals. If it’s soft, fluffy, or cute? Fuck yeah I love it
Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: As much as I love coffee...tea, probably. It’s just so relaxing to sit curled up under a blanket with a cup of tea and relaxing. Plus my girlfriend and I make tea whenever I go over to her house, so it holds a special place in my heart :)
Average Sleep Hours: Okay, so...if I ever got up on time, I’d be getting like five hours of sleep a night, which is fine. But I oversleep. Every. Fucking. Day. So usually seven or eight.
Cat or Dog person?: Cats. I love dogs with all my heart and I want one someday, but if I had to choose between a cat and a dog I’d choose a cat because
1. TOE BEANS
2. purring
3. the kneading thing they do?
4. I love love LOVE the sound of a cat meowing. so cute. so gentle.
5. cat loaf
6. smaller and easier to manage
7. don’t have to walk them
8. if they need to pee in the middle of the night they just. use the litter box. you don’t need to get up and let them out
Favorite Fictional Character:
Star vs the Forces of Evil: Star Butterfly, Marco Diaz, River Johansen Butterfly, Moon Butterfly, Ludo, Toffee, Buff Frog (I don’t know how to spell his real name :( )
Steven Universe: Pearl, Amethyst, Peridot, Greg Universe, Connie, Steven
Gravity Falls: Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Stanley Pines, Stanford Pines, Soos, Wendy Corduroy
Yuuri!!! On Ice: Yuuri Katsuki, Viktor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky, Phichit Chualont
Check Please!: Eric “Bitty” Bittle, Shitty Knight, Adam “Holster” Birkholtz, Wlliam “Dex” Poindexter, Derek “Nursey” Nurse, Chris “Chowder” Chow, Jack Zimmermann, Alexi “Tater” Mashkov, Justin “Ransom” Olransi
Harry Potter: Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasely, Ron Weasely, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Minerva McGonagall, Neville Longbottom, Molly Weasely, Fred and George
Sailor Moon: Sailor Jupiter, Sailor Moon, Sailor Chibi Moon, Luna
Fullmetal Alchemsit: Brotherhood: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, Riza Hawkeye, Roy Mustang, Ling, Greed (when he’s in Ling), Olivier Mira Armstrong
Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit: Bilbo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Pippin Took, Eowyn, Aragorn, Thorin Oakenshield, Fili and Kili, Aragorn
Disney princesses: Ariel, Moana, Rapunzel, Anna, Elsa, Belle
Homestuck: Terezi Pyrope, Dave Strider, Jade Harley, Jake English, John Eggbert, Vriska Serket, Roxy Lalonde, Karkat Vantas, Jane Crocker
Percy Jackson (among other Rick Riordan things): Annabeth Chase, Grover Underwood, Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson, Nico DiAngelo, Leo Valdez
Winnie the Pooh: Winnie, Eeyore, Tigger (I know this one seems silly but Winnie the Pooh is such an important thing to me you don’t understand)
Voltron: Allora, Shiro, Pidge, Kieth, Lance, Coran, Hunk (basically the paladins and Allora and Coran I love them all)
Avatar: the Last Airbender: Katara, Zuko, Sokka
Miraculous Ladybug: Ladybug, Chat Noir, Adrien Agreste (don’t fuckin hate on me they’re the same person but different characters)
A Series of Unfortunate Events: Violet Baudelaire, Klaus Baudelaire, Sunny Baudelaire, Lemony Snicket, Uncle Monty
Hamilton: Eliza Schuyler Hamilton, John Laurens, Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton
Stranger Things: Mike Wheeler, Eleven, Barb
i just,,,, have a lot of love for fictional characters,,,, there are more I’m sure, but I can’t think of any
I connected with a lot of these guys on a deep personal level. Like with Amethyst, I understand why she feels the way she does because I’ve gone through struggles of self-hatred and thinking I was a mistake. I love them all, but there are those few who I just feel like they were...made for me I guess.
Number of Blankets you sleep with: Just my comforter, but before I got my space heater in my room I’d sleep with two blankets, an electric blanket, and my comforter. My room used to be an attic, so it has like no insulation. Plus the heating ducts that go to my room are SUPER shitty, so barely any heat comes out of my vents. Now I’m just used to being cold XD But I don’t like sheets D: Even in the summer, I have to have my big comforter...sheets are too flimsy. Idk, I find the weight of a comforter or heavy blanket comforting.
When I was little though, I remember taking every blanket I owned and piling them on my bed in the winter...and I slept in a sleeping bag, on my bed, under those blankets! XD I miss that sleeping bag. It was a really pretty blue and was really warm...
Ideal Trip: going to New Zealand or England or the French countryside or somewhere with a lot of greenery. Staying somewhere where I can relax and stay in bed all day if I want to or go find things to do in the city or town or wherever is close by. My girlfriend being with me and being able to relax somewhere quiet with her where I can watch the sunlight stream across her face every morning and kiss her all over her face until she wakes up. Somewhere I can relax and not worry about what tomorrow brings; somewhere I can let my troubles float away.
Blog created: December 2014. I can’t believe I’ve been dicking around on here for almost three years.
Number of followers: 396. That may not seem like a lot to some people but??? That’s basically my graduating class??? And you’re all just here watching me shitpost about whichever one of my fandoms is relevant and cry about shit and post really fucking awful art and???? Whether you’ve been here since the beginning or just joined, thank you for hanging out with me through the internet! And if you’ve read all of this, thanks! You now know a lot more about me than I’ve ever said on here =w=
Okay now I have to tag people!
@97thebaluga @all-aboard-the-scream-train @ruled-by-jupiter @4899slayer @squirtlethosejigglypuffs @personalposting @universesinhermind @goddamnit-ross @awkward-fangirl-artist @youaremyrock-mydwayne-myjohnson @epic-leprachaun @save-me-grunkle-ford @civilizedhomosexuals @ninja-sparkle-party @assbutt-novak @howstrangeeveryonewas @not-what-everyone-seems @owlbear-dont-care @psychokumachan @2-many-fandoms-2-count
If I tagged you, don’t feel obligated! I realize some of you are mutuals and I like, never talk to y’all. I’m sorry :( I’m just bad at initiating conversations. Feel free to send me a message if you want to though! I love getting asks and IMs, it makes me feel good inside UwU
Thank you for reading! (and sorry this is so long jfc)
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Welp. I think I calmed down enough to say my thoughts on the season.
I enjoyed it a lot. First, I want to do bullet points of what I like and didn’t like...
Likes
Galra Keith
Keith’s mom being the badass Galra rebel and a human father
Blade of Marmora
Pidge geeking out over video games
Hunk being an awesome cook and having a huge line of people enjoying his food
That mall cop in episode 7
Haggar’s reveal (didn’t see that one coming, but still cool)
Prince Lotor being named dropped, making him be a huge player in season 3. Can’t wait to see him in the next one, especially with the show runners being fans of him xP
More clues about what happened to Matt and his whereabouts
More focus on Keith’s past
Diving deeper into Keith and Shiro’s bond
Pidge and Lance spending time together in the mall episode
Keith having a team up episode with Hunk
That tutorial video Coran made back in the day (Am I the only one who thought of Steven Universe when I saw that?)
Lance doubting himself, hinting at more development in season 3
More good Galra
That final fight, yo
Hunk’s “I think you becoming Galra made you a better Keith” line
Return of Shay and the other Balmara
Shiro finally getting a bayard
"He’s like a second dad to me" So Coran and Alfor were gay lovers? Nice (I kid, but I can dream)
More character development for Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Allura and Coran
How Shiro escaped the Galra
Lance Naruto running and dolphin jumping in the same scene
The mermaids
Lance praising all of his other teammates, being willing to do anything for them
Dislikes
Hunk and Lance not having as much focus and character development in this season. (fingers crossed for more in season 3)
No Lance and Keith team up episode
Where the hell is a reaction scene to Galra Keith thing to his teammates? Really, nothing?
What the hell happened to the cow?
With that out of the way, now my more detailed thoughts. Over all, I enjoyed this season a lot, and the positives out way the negatives for me.
The season a bit rushed and more story heavy, instead of balancing characters and story more. Certain moments that should’ve developed a whole lot more got glossed over (hi everyone’s reaction to Galra Keith). I feel like certain characters could’ve got more moments to shine and development like Lance. It should’ve been a couple episodes longer, so they flesh out some of these elements more, since the writers tried to cram in a lot of world building and plot into 13 episodes.
I think the aftermath of the Galra Keith reveal could have been handled better. I even went back and rewatched the last bit and the first bit of episode 9 a few times because I thought I missed something or I missed a social cue (I have ASD) or something. While I know most of the fandom saw Galra Keith coming from a mile away for several months now, but come on! This is still a huge reveal and a huge news dropped on his teammates…we never see any of their first reactions to it?! It just seems odd and disappointing.
Pidge’s brother and father were kidnapped by them and Shiro was captured and tortured by them for a year, yet we see no reaction from them.
With the Ford Pines reveal in Gravity Falls, which this reminds me a lot of, was handled a lot better. The Author of the Journals theory, from what I heard, was a huge fanon theory that got the canon seal during Not What He Seems (I was only getting into the fandom when it first aired). They left us on a cliff hanger for months on end – sure (which I am still salty about). But even with that said, there was a whole episode afterwards where Ford and Stan sit the Pines twins down and talk about what just happened. Dipper is angry about Stan hiding things at first, but then calms down right away, knowing that Stan wasn’t kidding about the, “Everything I worked for and everything I care about – it’s all for this family!” line. He even fanboys over Ford a lot, bonding with him afterwards. Mabel calms down about it too, but then seeds of doubt grow in her heart about her and Dipper growing a part (it’s a long story).
I think Voltron needed an episode like that where Keith and Shiro fill everyone in on what happened with everyone’s reaction. Then Shiro accepts him, calming him down; Lance is fine with it; Hunk is hesitant at first, but grows to accept him; Pidge is angered by the whole thing and a bit distant of him for a bit, but then grows to accept him; Allura is salty af about it, even afterwards. But nope, we get nothing....great...
Like I said before, I wish Hunk and Lance got more focus in this season, especially Lance.
However, I have a hunch that might change in season 3 and Lance will get more development since the show really hints at Lance having self doubt issues about him being a disposable member of the team. If Shiro is out for the count for the next one, that would mean Keith will pilot Black and Allura would fill in for Blue, making Lance fly Red like in Go Lion. That could make those feelings of self doubt and anger bubble up even more since for him it would come off that anyone could have filled in that chair after all and is not as special. While I know the season made it out that Lance is purged of his doubts, I find that highly unlikely. Trust me. To be a hundred percent honest, one area I can relate to Lance -- among many others -- is the fact I have self doubt issues. Sure, I panic and do not think straight when I do, unlike Lance, who is a lot more cool headed in those situations, but it is something I struggle with. Not to get super personal, after a certain event in my life, for a long time afterwards I thought I was genuinely stupid and it was pointless to continue writing and drawing since I thought could never compare to my peers. Don’t worry; I am a lot better now than back then, pushing towards my goals more then before. Not gonna lie, there are moments when I am confident, but those feelings of doubt do came back at times. I think it is the same thing for Lance. Sure, he might have calmed himself down then, but that might not last long and hit him hard in the future. If my theory about Lotor being Lance’s dark mirror is true, he will have even more moments in the sun and someone to test him and contrast his personality. I hope to the gods and goddesses so... But hey, I’m optimistic about this since the show staff are talented writers.
With that said, like I said before there are many cool moments in this season and the positives out weigh the negatives outside of what I just stated. My favourite episodes have to be 2, 7 and 8.
Galra Keith is canon now! I find it cool that it’s implied that his father was the human and his mother was a Galra rebel. Guess those Galra Keith one shots about his mom being a Galra rebel on AO3 were right (um, forget who the author of those were, so if you know, please let me know).
My theory about Keith’s backstory harkening back to Guardians of the Galaxy was also right with it hinting that Keith’s father fell in love with an alien and then got attacked by Zarkon’s forces, killing him. It makes me wonder where his mom is. (Maybe in season 3? ;))
That last fight with Zarkon was intense as hell, but a blast to watch. I still wonder, what the hell happened to Zarkon and Shiro? Personally, I don't think Shiro died and is out of commission...but even that I am wary about. Especially with the show having no problem killing off secondary characters on both sides...
Lotor never showed up in this…I think (I still have hopes he could be that masked dude that Hunk and Keith come across), but he got name dropped and is revealed to be a huge player in season 3 by the show runners. So, is Lotor the villain for the next season? Is Lotor that masked dude that helps out Hunk and Keith in that one episode? (Seriously, who was that?) But hey, at least he’s canon now and will be a main player in season 3. I am super excited about that. If he’s a villain, I still hope that he is a complex villain like Azula or Yami Bakura and not a piece of cardboard like in Go Lion/the Go Lion dub. And how come I got the feeling the fandom is gonna freak out when Lotor shows up because he is a fan favourite in Go Lion?
Over all, the season is very good, but has a few major flaws. I do have a few gripes with it. To be fair, I think all pieces of media has flaws.
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the 9 things on my 2017 *W I S H L I S T * + 2 holiday facts.
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/the-9-things-on-my-2017-w-i-s-h-l-i-s-t-2-holiday-facts/
the 9 things on my 2017 *W I S H L I S T * + 2 holiday facts.
youtube
These are the special things I’ve got my eye on outside my full gift guide which you can find here. Below is my personal wishlist. I love minimalism so I have a few things but quality things, therefore I have a constant wishlist in my phone of things I’m saving for. Then every so often I’ll buy something on the list. When I do it feels special and exciting. If it’s an experience I’ll really enjoy it and if it’s a physical item I’ll likely keep it for a long time.
Here’s what I currently have my eye on…
1. The Weighted Gravity Blanket– I’ve been hearing about this for a while. It seems like something that would be perfect for anyone who is chronically cold (me) and likes to be hugged (everyone?). I’ve never tired one but I’m assuming I’d like it but also wouldn’t want to carry the box up my stairs… have you tried it?
2. Wax & Oil Candle– My friend Dree sent me a care-package a couple months ago. It had all the best things in it, including this Wax & Oil vanilla candle. I adore the smell and what I like even more is how portable the candle is. I’ve adapted a new morning ritual based on something Dree told me about on her episode of my podcast a couple months ago where she shared this book with me called The Lotus & The Lily. I haven’t started yet but what Dree explained is that the book is basically a 30 day inner quest with exercises for going inward and each morning (regardless of where we are) we light this candle, drink a warm drink, read the short passage , and do the journaling exercise. It’s a beautiful way to start the day and while any candle would obviously work for this I love how portable this one is with it’s cap and that is is natural, soy based, and smells like fresh baked cookies.
3. The Jesse Kamm Ranger & Sailor Pants– I’ve been hearing a lot about these pants for the last year and seeing them all over NYC. Past podcast guest Christine first told me about them (I adore her style) and this YouTube channel I enjoy Dearly Bethany did a review on them that told me everything I needed to know. They are super pricey so I want to make sure I find the perfect fit so I can have them forever so I’m going to try to make it to a store in NYC that carries them so I can try them on. I’m also going to try Everlane’s version of this style pant because my friend (& photographer) Abbey was wearing them when she was in New York and raved about them. Unfortunately, the color I’m after is out of stock until February but I’m hoping to swing by the first Everlane store that just opened in NYC.
4. Any & Everything from Cap Beauty– this is my favorite natural beauty store in New York City’s West Village. I adore going into Cap and even treated myself to a facial there a few months ago which was a delight! I also love Credo Beauty which is another natural beauty store I discovered this summer while living in Williamsburg, they have a location in Brooklyn and Manhattan. They sell some of my favorite lines including, RMS Beauty, show sponsor and genuine fav Juice Beauty, and so much more!
5. Nu Evolution Plum Lipgoss– This is one of the items on this list I actually do own, I’m just running low on it. I can’t say enough about this lip color. I left it in Nick’s pocket after a wedding we attended this fall and was without if for about a month and actually missed it, no other lip product compares. Listen, I never even wore lipgloss that was pigmented before this summer when I wandered into Credo asking for a lipgloss that worked like a chap stick nourishing my lips. I wanted something that wouldn’t feel sticky or make my hair stick to it, I wanted it to smell good, and lastly I wanted a color that worked well for me. This lipgloss hits all of those requirements while being organic, cruelty-free, and leaves my lips feeling nourished (not dry), stays on for a long time, fades well, and smells like vanilla. I love the shade “plum” for me but may try another color soon too.
6. Facial at Face Gym NYC– Speaking of fancy facials in NYC, I’m dying to try Face Gym. It’s not really a facial it’s a face workout and looks so interesting. According to their website it’s non-invasive, zero-risk facelifting just by their original non-invasive face workout that visibly tones and tightens your face muscles leaving you looking fresh, glowing, and lifted. I think it sounds pretty fun to try.
7. A New Backpack– My current backpack as been with me for years. We’ve traveled all across the country together on my book tour, back and forth to Hawaii twice, and moved to NYC from Michigan. I’ve spilled leftovers in it, I’ve dropped it on busy subway floors, and I’ve stuffed it full with podcasting equipment shlepping all over the city. It’s time for an upgrade. I’m thinking this one might be the ideal fit for a new laptop backpack. Anyone have this backpack? I’d love your thoughts on it. Which color do you like best?
8. A Sleep Shirt– I feel like PJs are the best gift. Buying clothes for someone is always a bold choice and risky but a sleeping outfit seems like a much easier thing to pick out for another person, plus at the holidays store tend to have such cute novelty sleepwear. I especially like this from J.Crew & this from Madewell & also this set (but I’m sure they’ll be half off by the first of the year…)
9. SHHHOWER Cap– It’s no secret by now to everyone I know and most of the internet that I only wash my hair about twice a month. Therefore, you’ll be happy to know I’m shower while trying to keep my hair dry often. I’ve been using hotel plastic shower caps with yoga headbands hoping for the best, until I discovered the SHHHOWER Cap which is such an upgrade. It not only looks like a fashionable turban, it does a fantastic job at actually keeping my hair dry. I love them so much I reached out and got us a discount so we can get one for 10% off : use the code KATIE.
two more non-gifts related holiday things….
–I would like ever space I step into until December 25th to smell like this or this.
—Serendipity is my favorite Christmas movie & I watch it every year at this time. Related, Cool Yule is my favorite holiday song.
–Here is my full gift guide + A Cup of Jo does gift guides better than anyone on the internet.
The post the 9 things on my 2017 *W I S H L I S T * + 2 holiday facts. appeared first on Katie Dalebout.
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Text
the 9 things on my 2017 *W I S H L I S T * + 2 holiday facts.
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/the-9-things-on-my-2017-w-i-s-h-l-i-s-t-2-holiday-facts/
the 9 things on my 2017 *W I S H L I S T * + 2 holiday facts.
youtube
These are the special things I’ve got my eye on outside my full gift guide which you can find here. Below is my personal wishlist. I love minimalism so I have a few things but quality things, therefore I have a constant wishlist in my phone of things I’m saving for. Then every so often I’ll buy something on the list. When I do it feels special and exciting. If it’s an experience I’ll really enjoy it and if it’s a physical item I’ll likely keep it for a long time.
Here’s what I currently have my eye on…
1. The Weighted Gravity Blanket– I’ve been hearing about this for a while. It seems like something that would be perfect for anyone who is chronically cold (me) and likes to be hugged (everyone?). I’ve never tired one but I’m assuming I’d like it but also wouldn’t want to carry the box up my stairs… have you tried it?
2. Wax & Oil Candle– My friend Dree sent me a care-package a couple months ago. It had all the best things in it, including this Wax & Oil vanilla candle. I adore the smell and what I like even more is how portable the candle is. I’ve adapted a new morning ritual based on something Dree told me about on her episode of my podcast a couple months ago where she shared this book with me called The Lotus & The Lily. I haven’t started yet but what Dree explained is that the book is basically a 30 day inner quest with exercises for going inward and each morning (regardless of where we are) we light this candle, drink a warm drink, read the short passage , and do the journaling exercise. It’s a beautiful way to start the day and while any candle would obviously work for this I love how portable this one is with it’s cap and that is is natural, soy based, and smells like fresh baked cookies.
3. The Jesse Kamm Ranger & Sailor Pants– I’ve been hearing a lot about these pants for the last year and seeing them all over NYC. Past podcast guest Christine first told me about them (I adore her style) and this YouTube channel I enjoy Dearly Bethany did a review on them that told me everything I needed to know. They are super pricey so I want to make sure I find the perfect fit so I can have them forever so I’m going to try to make it to a store in NYC that carries them so I can try them on. I’m also going to try Everlane’s version of this style pant because my friend (& photographer) Abbey was wearing them when she was in New York and raved about them. Unfortunately, the color I’m after is out of stock until February but I’m hoping to swing by the first Everlane store that just opened in NYC.
4. Any & Everything from Cap Beauty– this is my favorite natural beauty store in New York City’s West Village. I adore going into Cap and even treated myself to a facial there a few months ago which was a delight! I also love Credo Beauty which is another natural beauty store I discovered this summer while living in Williamsburg, they have a location in Brooklyn and Manhattan. They sell some of my favorite lines including, RMS Beauty, show sponsor and genuine fav Juice Beauty, and so much more!
5. Nu Evolution Plum Lipgoss– This is one of the items on this list I actually do own, I’m just running low on it. I can’t say enough about this lip color. I left it in Nick’s pocket after a wedding we attended this fall and was without if for about a month and actually missed it, no other lip product compares. Listen, I never even wore lipgloss that was pigmented before this summer when I wandered into Credo asking for a lipgloss that worked like a chap stick nourishing my lips. I wanted something that wouldn’t feel sticky or make my hair stick to it, I wanted it to smell good, and lastly I wanted a color that worked well for me. This lipgloss hits all of those requirements while being organic, cruelty-free, and leaves my lips feeling nourished (not dry), stays on for a long time, fades well, and smells like vanilla. I love the shade “plum” for me but may try another color soon too.
6. Facial at Face Gym NYC– Speaking of fancy facials in NYC, I’m dying to try Face Gym. It’s not really a facial it’s a face workout and looks so interesting. According to their website it’s non-invasive, zero-risk facelifting just by their original non-invasive face workout that visibly tones and tightens your face muscles leaving you looking fresh, glowing, and lifted. I think it sounds pretty fun to try.
7. A New Backpack– My current backpack as been with me for years. We’ve traveled all across the country together on my book tour, back and forth to Hawaii twice, and moved to NYC from Michigan. I’ve spilled leftovers in it, I’ve dropped it on busy subway floors, and I’ve stuffed it full with podcasting equipment shlepping all over the city. It’s time for an upgrade. I’m thinking this one might be the ideal fit for a new laptop backpack. Anyone have this backpack? I’d love your thoughts on it. Which color do you like best?
8. A Sleep Shirt– I feel like PJs are the best gift. Buying clothes for someone is always a bold choice and risky but a sleeping outfit seems like a much easier thing to pick out for another person, plus at the holidays store tend to have such cute novelty sleepwear. I especially like this from J.Crew & this from Madewell & also this set (but I’m sure they’ll be half off by the first of the year…)
9. SHHHOWER Cap– It’s no secret by now to everyone I know and most of the internet that I only wash my hair about twice a month. Therefore, you’ll be happy to know I’m shower while trying to keep my hair dry often. I’ve been using hotel plastic shower caps with yoga headbands hoping for the best, until I discovered the SHHHOWER Cap which is such an upgrade. It not only looks like a fashionable turban, it does a fantastic job at actually keeping my hair dry. I love them so much I reached out and got us a discount so we can get one for 10% off : use the code KATIE.
two more non-gifts related holiday things….
–I would like ever space I step into until December 25th to smell like this or this.
—Serendipity is my favorite Christmas movie & I watch it every year at this time. Related, Cool Yule is my favorite holiday song.
–Here is my full gift guide + A Cup of Jo does gift guides better than anyone on the internet.
The post the 9 things on my 2017 *W I S H L I S T * + 2 holiday facts. appeared first on Katie Dalebout.
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