yet another writing ask: 23 and 32 if you would like to <3

Thank you 🙇🙇

23. Dialogue or description? Why is the other one so hard?

GOD. Dialogue is so hard. I get soooo stressed in rpf bc I often want or am including multi-lingual players who do not speak like a generic Californian, and I get real in my head about like...capturing that authentically and sensitively. Like description is easier to deploy meaningfully and if I fuck it up, I find that way more forgivable in myself than like writing a multilingual player and accidentally leaning into stereotypes about speech patterns or ways of expression that aren't True To Nature. and like to be clear this is specifically about non-Canadian/American players, like if I fuck up some American NCAA white jock who gives a shit but if I leaned to stereotypes about like how idk Russians speak, I would just die. and I have done this!!! I look back at some of my old sidgeno works and I'm like this is unforgiveable lol.

I'm poking at a concept with Radim Šimek, who is from Czechia, and I'm stressing sooo bad about his speech patterns and how he expresses himself in interviews vs teammates, particularly after I noticed how obvious it is that he learned in English in the Bay Area, which is not like...a particularly unique version of English, but I've noticed that sometimes the way Bay Area ppl inflect words is absolutely deranged. and like how does that affect how you express yourself yk, and like I'm basing all of this off getting lectured for being lazy in five years of French classes in high school and college, which is not even remotely the same thing

Also. At least once per fic, I have to go through a delete an instance of "hella". That man from Ontario would not fucking say "hella".

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?

Well I absolutely overuse "like" in speech which is what happens when you grow up in California and write primarily in a fandom of white jocks. Also tend to use "sounding strangled" with regularity, but I have never been able to figure out how to execute that specific emotion any other way (I have not tried very hard)

Thank you!!!

okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while

xoxo <3

their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.

matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.

​i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.

as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.

today on our monthly episode of my uterus is trying to f*cking kill me: it nearly succeeded

i am so close to give up on tumblr entirely 😅

on today's episode of dumbassery: i finished minato's route on p3p, started a new game as hamuko, and. accidentally saved it over my finished minato game save file, effectively losing my ability to create a ng+ with 53 hours of progress

aw dear .. my cat’s got a big lump on the side of his face, poor little lamb. he’s in the wars at the moment he is

👁️👁️

^ me staring at batfam fic that i otherwise would have no real issues with despite not being my preferred interpretation except that it includes janet drake bashing

i was spitballing some snippets for later taob chapters and i wrote this one thing like 20 mins ago that i KNEW could be really really good but as i was writing it i was like 'hmm i am not explaining this well at all im not doing this justice but that's fine i can come back to it' like was very wholeheartedly convinced that despite having a good premise id definitely have to tweak it and possibly rewrite it entirely but low and behold i just reread it 20 mins later and as it is no editing no nothing it's probably the most important thing ive ever written

Having big thoughts on tone indicator discourse rn

Same anon- this au just seems so fascinating. Modern Aus can sometimes be a bit boring since they get close to real life but even Web’s story seems so deep so im very intrigued by the larger universe

honestly when people say they don't particularly like modern au's i completely agree, bc so often there's just no other point besides having that shorthand with the audience as far as world building and language. so the ones i like are always modern but putting a spin on something that elevates it beyond the baseline like high school au or we all work at a bar au.

and this au i love particularly because it feels like a life that was happening just in the next room to me in high school and college. Life and especially modern life is the least boring thing on the planet, but there are people who walk among us who mind as well be aliens for how far they've taken their own experiences, and i could read those people tell their stories all day.

today's book rec if you like any of the bits of pretty on the inside I've posted is Cat Marnell's How to Murder Your Life because i reread it in writing a huge part of web's before-times and it is Sublime. cat is funny but her stories run the gamut of disturbing and sad, which is exactly how i feel about web in this au (and they're both spoiled fucking rotten and make it Everyone's problem, but i find that hilarious lol).

also idk i feel so fucking good abt myself idk genuinely being consistent with my gym routine has done everything for my mental health and confidence like i still feel bad abt myself sometimes but for the first time since i was probably 9 i'm having days where i look in the mirror and thinking DAMN i look good and those days are getting more frequent it's really the best feeling

wanna make my own kny httyd au

I open tumblr just to see your tags 🙏 it’s a highlight of my day

armys don't scare me. i've been on the internet for fifteen years and i used to be a directioner, jungkook fans wish they were as insane as me 👍🏽

idk what it is with me and women but they just flock to me in my time of need. 5 seconds ive been in a room and they want to tie my shoelaces for me they wanna help me do things they want to give me advice and make sure im okay i what

Relationships are indeed hard and managing them do take a ugly ass work

Hello!!

I hope you’re doing okay!

Sometimes I read your posts and see how you long to talk to someone and make friends but maybe scared? I also feel that way very much and wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and I and many others enjoy seeing your headcanons of the k2 boys and yeah :)

Hey ;; thank you that's really reassuring. It can be difficult for me to not think no one'd care about my thoughts, even if it's about what most people probably freakin follow me for ??? Yanno?? So it means a lot ;-; Pls always feel free to pick my brain about stuff!!