Been thinking about how it feels, being the wild child

the struggle of not feeling human, when emotions get too strong,

when hands feel like paws and teeth become fangs, shoulders and hunches raised in anger and low growls of fear,

somehow this body language is easier, is more natural than my own

80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.

i am once again apologizing for my lack of activity/responsiveness

my childhood cat passed away a few days ago which has just been more stuff on top of everything else for me to deal with to stress me out and upset me

i'll try to get back to stuff. Eventually. as soon as i can</3

my bpd can never ignore a good rage quit opportunity and will now be circling the delete your blog button for three days because it is dramatic like that

I can’t tell whether this is me having an autism moment or whether this is the kind of thing that crops up 6 months out of a film’s release, and I’m not trying to be an asshole but hand wringing about what if btsv reveals Dana is Gabriella’s biological mother is just. Not a concern I understand tbh.

Like for one, atsv shows less than nothing about her other biological parent. We know Jack shit about whoever contributed 50% of her DNA to the point where there’s just as much evidence for like. Alt Miguel spawning this child asexually like a starfish or this baby arriving in a little white blanket via stork.

There’s no family photos in the bg, no other parent was in Gabriella’s life when her father died otherwise we would’ve been shown them etc. we have more evidence for alt Miguel being a trans man that got a sperm donation than we do a partner being involved in the creation of this kid lmao

also blah blah blah it’s a good writing decision that there’s no partner shown there because otherwise it invites a dimension of moral complication to the story (ie. the violation of trust and consent that is secretly replacing someone’s partner) that atsv just isn’t trying to court, because the entire point of Gabriella as a writing device is to be an additionally sympathetic dimension to Miguel’s motivations and guilt.

Secondly, PAD is the main guy continually referencing Dana as Miguel’s fiancé (whether past or current) and unless he somehow sneaks his way into the writer’s room, I genuinely don’t understand any kind of concern that we’re somehow going to get an other parent reveal for Gabriella when the opportunity for that came and went already, and the film writers have been very open abt the fact they’re taking liberties w this iteration of the character (Asking for Oscar Issac’s opinion on the writing as a Latino man etc) and thus Miguel’s characterisation isn’t supposed to be a one to one adaptation of any singular comic run.

[ i stay just to run and i run for my life / i must dig those graves if i want to stay alive ]

I’ve been posting like 0-5 note OC drawings for a while at this point, and not here to complain about the notes, but I hate that I’m seriously considering if it’s worth it to go through and take all of my art down to avoid getting scraped by AI. Because I hate the idea of my art being used to train AI, and I hate that every website is selling out to AI in one way or another.

I guess my point is that I don’t want to be living in a world where my art that maybe reaches 7 people on a good day has to have extensive measures against AI theft placed on it so it won’t get chewed up by a machine and spat out again.

.

period blues

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

hey would anyone like to see an update to Romance in Rivendell?? We're in a new chapter now heh╰(*°▽°*)╯

I'm taking time off of official work for the holidays and miiight just try to push out a few pages of RiR over the next week or so (★ ω ★)

Being a minor fucking sucks bc sometimes your parents will do something that's so fucked to you and you can't even say anything

god my life at this point is just Try Not To Have A Seizure Challenge where everyday I wake up optimistic that maybe today will end the chronic migraine (525 days straight!)/accidental injury/shitty bad news streak & then I just get slapped in the face with something worse. how the fuck am I supposed to control being stressed when I live under capitalism & I'm disabled trying to take care of myself. my seizures are stress induced & fuck I try so hard but this world is going to fucking kill me

I still think about the name I came up with when I was unsure if I liked my legal name and like jeioebe could the world be super cool about having 2 names or that using a different name at all than legal wasnt nerve wracking please